"I Dont Date Asians Because They Remind Me Of My Brother" 

Personally I dont date people because they remind me of people. Be sure to like & comment as many of our videos get deranked by youtube! Helps us gain visibility! Btw we love yall asians so yall should come to our live shows abanpreach.com/

As an Asian man, I more than welcome narcissists like her taking herself out of the dating pool.

I dated ONE black woman who reminded me of my sister. However, I have dated dozens of black women, none of whom reminded me of my sister. If all of your ethnicity remind you of family.... SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU.

she learned so much from dating non-asians that the whole panel is in awe of her intelligence

I’m not Asian but I’m really embarrassed for her. It’s sounds like she was seeking those white people’s validation. They where loving her acting a fool like that and it’s sad that she couldn’t notice

There's a thin line between preference and self hatred when it comes to these situations.

The stunned silence of the other girls was the best part. 😂 they were NOT backing her at all.

It reminds me of my sister who rejected a marine because he was under 6ft because she needs tall guys to feel protected, and then one time she dated some 6'5 dude who was afraid to defend her when she was getting confronted by her verbally aggressive EX-BF. 🤷‍♂

I used to have a friend like this. It was really strange, in that she would call asian men more "feminine" and used family members and men in her family not showing up as the reason she did not like "asian men". She even had the audacity to say "I deserve better". I could tell she did not like being challenged about it and Im sure the self hatred came from a hurt place. We are no longer friends but I hope people like her find the peace they need. If you have friends like this -- black, white, or otherwise I think it is important to challenge or walk back weird attitudes like this and not hold acceptance for goofy views like this.

Saying you won't date your own race because they remind you of your sibling is like saying I don't eat meat because it reminds you of your dog

another Asian woman that makes "not dating Asian men" as her source of pride. Let's give her a medal! so brave, so stunning

Writing off a WHOLE ENTIRE RACE spanning multiple countries because they remind you of your brother is a wild excuse... I feel for you Asian men

I agree with Preach in the sense that if you go in a different direction from what your community deems as "their thing" you will be ostracized. I listened to everything, from Bone Thugs in Harmony to Slipknot to EDM. I was called a Oreo for most my life by my own community which made me be resentful towards them. Now I just dont care, I do my thing, now I tie my beard like a viking, so Im a Oreo : Norse Edition

On a side note: My college speech / communications / English professor told us to do our speeches without ums, likes or stuttering. She would count how many times we did it. To her surprise, most students were able to slow down their speech enough to catch up with their thoughts and speak properly. Edit: It can be done with practice.

Shawty cant even properly explain her mentality without sounding like like like shes making it up as she’s speaking 💀. Pack it up

As an asian guy who's a little bit older and remember the early 2000's, this chick's actually tip-toe-ing around and very respectful lol Back in my days asian chicks would just tell us "i dont date asian guys because you guys are ugly"

My coworker was Filipino and she would say the same thing but also she had a lot of self hate. Her mom tried to lighten her skin when she was a baby. She always went for white or Hispanic guys

Nah, saying all Asians look alike as a dating preference is crazy.

Him going through all the Asian countries was actually a clever move because it put her racial bias on full display. She’s Vietnamese but somehow Mongolians and Indonesians remind her of her brother. So she just doesn’t like Asian guys and it’s not because they all remind her of her brother

I'm from Cameroon, discovered your channel and it has been almost two years now. Sometimes I might be having the worst day of my life but anytime i turn on your channel, I just loss myself completely in the entertainment, updates, insightful conversations that you provide and for that I say THANK YOU 🙏🏾

Gosh this is giving me high school flashbacks. I’m Japanese American, grew up in a very predominately white and Mexican American area with a smattering of Filipinos. I was crushing hard on this one Filipina American girl in class, I asked her out, the reason she said no was not because I was ugly, I wasn’t smart, I’m not her type, but because I was Asian. I understand there’s preferences to dating and everything, I know there’s some stuff like that, and if a girl says no I’ll just take the L and move on, it’s not the end of the world. But the fact that an Asian said no because I was a fellow Asian, that stuck in my head and confused me to no end. In hindsight I’m elated that I never ended up with her but damn, I’m curious where did that mentality come from? I’d very much preferred any other reason frankly.

This brought back a lot of memories of frustration growing up as a young Asian man. I'll admit that it was difficult being rejected by Asian women for being seen as inferior to men of other ethnicities. Now I realize that those women were never worth my time or energy.

Girl, just say you’re not attracted to your own race💀

This trend of dating for diversity just breeds self hatred I think. Its so odd man. Race doesn't determine pretty, pretty determines pretty. That chick just doesn't like asians is all. Having a preference is cool but shit, this diversity shit and fetish nonsense is getting weird now

As an Asian man myself, I used to be one of the "Racial preference is not racism" believer, even though I do have this kind of preference myself. In the past few years, I started to realize that if you ask the right questions to reveal the reasons behind these "preference", a lot of people just start to show their true color and most of the time it does not look good. That being said, racist or not, if you don't want to date certain people, just don't. Making up bs excuses to justify discrimination, and sometimes even trashtalking them is just unnecessary. P.S. To all the Asian brothers out there, do not let people like this to discourage you. Keep working on yourself and stay strong.

I don’t date broke people, because they remind me of my income. 🤣 I kid, I kid.

I was roommates with a girl that was half black but was all about her blackness. She straight up said she doesn't date black men tho. Then she got shitty with me because I don't date fat chicks. I'm like, well they can lose the weight...you can't stop being black.

aba and preach live on tour is crazy

1:20 😂😂😂😂 Yea that word “like” esp in YT videos be pissing me off

Leading rallies isn’t apart of Black culture. Lmao That girl is touched in the head.

I’m an equal opportunities employer I don’t discriminate 😂. As a Black Brit I never thought my husband would be Japanese 😅 but life has its own ideas. In Japan now and so many different personalities, looks and vibes. From gamers to yankee types from surfers to people interested in Reggae etc etc. Point is everyone is different.

I agree. I think we people disconnect from their culture and people they find solace in others and despise their origins. It's sad not only for the people but her the community to have let it happen. For awhile I felt this way as a kid, but once I got to look at it from a different perspective, I was able to reconnect with my community in a different way. Sometimes it's important for us/people to take that step back instead of abandoning altogether because you never know what you might find on the other side.

I really hope you guys come to Tampa!

Its amazing how so many people have lived their whole lives with such delusional ideas and never being checked

I don't date humans because they remind me of my family

I heard you guys are coming to St. Andrew's in Detroit. See you there!

Sometimes it’s not always self-hate it also is pertaining to what culture you were raised in. I know quite a few south East Asian who were born and raised in the hood and don’t relate well to their parents or grandparents culture due to the location, generation, class, etc. I’ve noticed lower class families will adapt to the culture of where they are residing usually out of survival I guess. Unfortunately the video did not dive into her background so it’s not easy to tell what her actual background is/was. And in terms of the young lady here I believe what she was trying to say is her own culture bores her and she is attracted to diversity and newness which isn’t strange at all seeing how both those elements are important in a relationship. Though I can understand how this can be interpreted as “salt-hate” she never said she does not practice her culture or does not teach her partner her culture. she actually stated it plainly, it’s more attractive to her when she is able to learn another culture because of the newness of it. There are many people like that Inca t most people are like that and find themselves attractive to novelty things within other cultures in general without over romanticizing it, fetishizing it, or hating their own culture. I guess there’s a fine line between the two but this video does not dive deep enough in my opinion to really pin point self hate so I’m not sure if I would call it that. 🤷🏽‍♀️

As an Asian guy who's not dated Asian girls, if I said this. They would all be hounding me. 😂😂

Her saying, "I don't date Asian men because they remind me of my brother," is just her way of trying to virtue signal, when in reality it made her sound even worse. She could have just unapologetically said she prefers white guys or black guys and moved on, but this copout just comes off as self-hatred. Every person of your own race can't possibly remind you of your sibling, that's just insane. Each race has diversity of looks and personality within them.

I see the true genuine friendship between you guys. I find myself smiling as I watch as though somehow I were involved in the love and appreciation of each other... Great episode nicely handled. It was an opportunity for me to be in a voyeuristic position where my race was not involved for once🙄 Personally, I was indifferent really, although it’s obvious she hates her Asian’ness. Made me wonder what yt ppl think about black men who say they don’t date their race. Interesting that no black channels ever interview F&F on that and other issues. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Something I suggest poeple do is look into the the concept of "othering". Because while self hatred isn't justified, it has a source just like any other trauma. I'll even admit to having it up into my late 20s as an African American because it's hard being different in a community where everyone has a centralized trauma, but yours dosen't match up with that and people can just causaly call you a coon or uncle tom without any backlash. There are still grown men and women "othering" their own and making them feel less than beause they're different. Almost like there is an expectation that you're supposed to just be a certain way just because you're of that group. It's wishful thinking, but maybe if we all spent a little less time trapped in our own bubbles and tried to understand each other better, this stuff would be less prevelant.

This isn't a dating issue, as some commenters have noted this is a self-hating issue and she sees Asian men as lesser than non-Asian men for some reason (which is what should have been discussed). Just dismissing an issue as preference is wild

I know a mixed guy who proudly stated he doesn't date black women because they remind him of his mom. We haven't let him live that statement down like 4 years later.

10:24 I actually can relate to this hard-core parkour, I, and primarily attracted to like personality, and a big part of what attracts me is, how you’re able to teach me to see things Because whether we like to admit it or not, humans do not grow out of that video, tape, recorder, mindset thing, everything we see, and experience we start to become And men are supposed to be leaders as well as protectors, so what I look for in a man is somebody who can help me see the world in a realistic, but not terrifying way Someone who can help me get out of my own way type of thing I am more attracted to the foresight and the brain My boyfriend right now he panics a lot just like me but he’s really good at helping me change the way that I see things and that’s helping me panic less and I don’t know how I knew it because honestly he speaks Polish more than English but like I felt it in my soul, like I felt that he would help me the way that I would want to help him. I’m not sure if I’m helping him as much as he’s helping me in the Calming down and kind of like rewiring my brain. But this I can relate to I guess the difference between like my boyfriend and everybody else like is that he’s willing to teach me something new he’s willing to do something new to teach me something new Or at least to give me a new experience and then tell me see look at the hop in a little different and sometimes different isn’t scary Education doesn’t make a teacher I’m in college and my boyfriend didn’t go to college But he’s still a great teacher for me I don’t know why I felt like pouring my soul out like that but I did so lol 🤷🏾‍♀️ I’m gonna marry him one day ❤️

It would be great to see you guys in england

Self-hate is a bigger problem than people want to admit.

Many of the Asian women I've gone on dates with have said something similar. It's kinda bizarre how open they were about it.

Shoot, I'd date an Asian man!!! I like to watch Asian Historical and Fantasy Dramas and some of those brothers are so effing beautiful! Race is never a deciding factor for me on who I'd consider as a life partner though. It annoys me when people make it so and makes me wonder what it is they are REALLY looking for. I used to be friends with a sister who turned out to be a 100% for sure bonafide covert narcissist who betrayed me worse than you can possibly imagine causing physical harm that took years to recover from, and she always had this thing where she would NOT date white men - though she herself is white. That told me that she was really looking for someone to project a certain image with her, rather than love and compatibility.

People are entitled to have preferences but everyone else is also entitled to point out how weird and absurd those preferences are...

That’s the equivalent to “I can’t date humans because my parents are humans”.

The amount of internalized self-hatred is UNREAL and the fact that a lot of people like her are even proud of it is MAD cringey and pathetic

11:43 Facts, southern Italian people are definitely different from northern Italians. I lived in Naples and know, very different everything.

Finally this problem has hit the mainstream. It’s too late now. But this is a big W for the East Asian brothas

The people saying it's a preference need to see the bigger picture she basically removed any type of individuality a person may have because she looks at them all the same way.

Am I only one who felt a way when she said “he lead rallies and protest” when telling how she learned about his culture? I didn’t know walking down the street with arms linked and telling people how you had a dream was black culture😂

6:07 😂😂😂 Yoo him being serious is crazy

It happens in every culture. I come from a Jewish background (sorry kanye) and they always crying about how excluded they were and how hated they were but the second I wanted to do something against their believes I was told not to, or I would get comments like I hope you arnt dating this group or participating in that. Those things only serve to push people away which is what happened

As an Asian men, happy to see her out of the dating pool. So we can go look for partners that don’t have those issues. Does she has self hatred? Perhaps. We don’t know her background. Honestly. She shouldn’t have explain herself. The dating an Asian like a brother is the worse excuse. Make her sounded like all Asian are a like. Don’t know how she got baited to say it. She shouldn’t have mentioned that at all. 😩

I'm a white guy in Asia. It's crazy how many girls here say they don't date Asians in their dating profile. In literal Asia 😅😂👍🏻

“She looks like she dates black dudes” haha I had that feeling just by looking at her. Hahahaha

People who say they don't date their race at all are weird. I get being attracted to one race more than the other but to flat out rule your own race is wild to me. 😅

I think she has a much deeper seeded thought.

Come to vienna please

Greeting from Kazakhstan 🇰🇿

I’ve heard an Asian guy say that Asian women say that all the time about dating Asian men because they look like their brother and that’s why they choose to date white men instead.

Happens a lot in the Asian community but this helps us get these kind of women away from us (it’s a win win for everyone involved the people who don’t want to date with in the race that’s fine they can go be happy somewhere else while the other side can be happy with the people that wants to be with them) and mb didn’t mean to start ww3 in the comments

Come to Sydney!!!!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Okay real talk, I like how YT recommended this video because I have a similar thing going on. I’m a black gay male and honestly I don’t see myself dating other black men because it would also remind of my brothers. To keep it short and not give out too much info let’s just say they along with my dad are not the best role models. Now this doesn’t mean that I’m completely closed minded to the idea cause things can happen and I’m very open to give others a chance. I’m just more inclined to dating other races. I haven’t fully watched the video yet but maybe she’s also not on the best of terms with her brother and that’s probably why she doesn’t want to date men of same race. Obviously I couldn’t tell you cause that’s her business but from my perspective they(Brothers and Dad) left such a negative impact on me that I don’t think that it could happen. With the way the dating scene is now with all these different factors that I was so naive to take into consideration until very recently along with the high/low value and the other bs I came across as I dug deeper into what dating is about I can confidently say that I won’t ever know what it feels like to date because for one thing I’m not using dating apps cause I much rather get a feel of someone first over time before trying to push for a deeper connection and texting through an app only goes so far and people might not even be using their real pictures. It’s just not for me. Apologies for going on this long rant. I’ve only recently started watching your content more often and I find it very enjoyable to watch. You guys are hilarious and make very solid points.

I know self hatred when I see it. I know cause I was the same.......in middle school as a little boy. Then I realized that shit didn't really make sense. Now I genuinely got no preference, as long as you look good.

The fact that nobody said "India" as Asian 💀 not even Aba

If she was raised in an area without much of an asian community, and the only others she was raised around were in her immediate family, I don't think its a leap to guess that she could develop without becoming sensitive to the physical differences between asian faces. Leading to seeing all asian guys as like her brother, and getting incest ick. Kind of like people usually have a harder time telling other races apart, I'm guessing if a white boy where adopted into china then they would become really sensitive to differences in asian faces, but not so much to his own race. Might be the case with her. edit: Also, she said all asian men *remind* her of her brother. Not that they are objectively alike. That's just her feeling that she's expressing, how you gonna correct someone on giving an account of their feeling?

Idc who people date, but I always find it strange that a person would say they don't date an entire race of people...how in anyway is that not rooted in racism

“Like I feel like I can’t like date people like because my mom and like dad are also people, so like it’s just weird” - this girl

I see what she is sorta saying but to mesh it together as what you guys said as well… I don’t date El Salvadorans/Hondurans! To me it’s weird because somehow or someway, we could be related. Like my parents will definitely figure out that ish and I stay away from that. Now granted if I met an American, that’s Hispanic from a whole different country, that’s different because I will get to know their culture but race wise… Ah ha! 😅(Because to me I brought up more about nationality) but race wise, idk what it is but I love black men! And man, bonus points if I meet a man that is black and Hispanic American! Or meeting a black man that isn’t Hispanic but willing to learn about my culture because I am loud and proud of my roots lol

Ok I have some thoughts on this I’d like to share if that’s ok. I’m a Bengali woman who has been in her shoes. I’ve liked someone once who was from Bangladesh as well, and had one crush I think on south Asian guys, I don’t find people from my own country or who look ethnically like me attractive romantically. They are attractive, and amazing people, but I personally prefer people who look different to me. The sibling thing is totally a thing to a lot of people, including me, reason being that culturally we are very similar. Siblings are not 100% the same, and not everyone from every country is the same, but the kinship or tribalism you feel with people who are similar to you is a real thing. For some people they are attracted to that and want that similarity and for others we do not want that familiarity in every aspect of our lives. We want to date who we want, have preferences with who we want to spend our lives with. Why is it seen as self hate or race traitors if we don’t wanna date people who remind us of our family (per values, habits, even having similar physical features). Are you automatically a racist if you don’t date everyone? Maybe you grew up in China and are attracted to Chinese people and it doesn’t make you a racist person for that. We are in America a literal melting pot, and to be expected to be attracted to our own kind exclusively instead of all kinds of people and appreciating the differences we have is a very strange thing. We can love our culture and people and not want to date from our own country because it DOES remind us of our family, friends, etc. I don’t want to date people like me because I am me, and I want to date someone who is NOT like me.

This is so common among Asian women. I have a few relatives who think like this. It's crazy. Yeah, I get not wanting to date someone too similar to you but I measure similarities by personality type, life experiences, etc. A lot of the time it has nothing to do with race though. I'm Asian and the last guy who made me feel like we were twins is white. Because he made me feel like we are related I didn't feel attracted to him in that way. Not only that Asians come in so many different skin tones, looks, etc. The only plausible excuse I have heard is Asian women like her grew up in a white majority neighborhood and people would mistake random Asians in her area as her relatives because there were so few Asians. Like ok. Let's say for a second that I accept this psychological effect but why aren't Asian men or any other minorities coming out in droves like that calling the other gender of their own race as their siblings? Then, other Asian women like me get hate when we do end up dating outside of our race from time to time.

Thanks guys, I'm going to sing "I'm every asian" to some of my asian friends just because 😂👌🏾

As an asian guy living in europe I can see what it is coming from. Asian are in general are an invincible minority in western society which make them as one of the most schatterad minority. People like her are searching validation from other races in a desperate attempt to be seen in most cases (white men, they have the highest staus), which gives her opposite reaction by more mature people. If one does not love ones own culture or own poeple first one will have a hard time love other beacuse most of the time when we avoid our closest we do it because we are running from something. As she say "they are like my brotheres" more like they are like my father. Children usally use their parents as a way of view other people, if they have problem with their father they will project that negative symbol on something and reject it at distance to manage it. In the USA self hate is a common word, I would maybe not say it is all about self hate but more about I way to escape oneself or self reflection which one has not dealt with.

I think a lot of it comes down to surface level experiences having to deal with people, similar to how physical attraction works. A person could be ugly as fuck, but also a really nice person. They could be beautiful and extremely vapid. Even then those physical traits you find attractive are influenced by upbringing and experience. With that, we can't pretend that groups of people have very distinct cultural aspects and traits that we can easily identify, either positively or negatively. There are an abundance of negative stereotypes, but there are also ones that groups of people also embrace as just a cultural norm, if not an overtly positive thing. Which in turn is going to affect how people interact socially, even in positive contexts. The problem only really comes when an individual attempts to force their standards on other people, especially strangers. Which.... she wasn't. Dude asked a question, she answered, and then he kept pressing the issue for 5 minutes. Which is a lot different than like a Hotep or Klansman jumping on their own camera and account to rant about race traitors and such, or the people arguing in social media threads attacking each other, throwing their own race under the bus. In that same regard, she even stated that she's still friends with these dudes. Which to me is the first step of trying to date someone. You learn who a person is, get close to them, come to understand their personality, hear how they talk, learn what they think and believe, etc. From there you can make a determination on whether or not they'd be someone you'd want to pursue something more with. After so many times of getting generally the same flavor with the understanding of how fleeting time is, in combination with how young she probably is.... Yeah it makes sense that she'd be going for someone who she knows is a guarantee that she'd be getting an entirely different experience with.

Self hate is a hella of a thing

Remember that one girl who said she couldn't date someone younger than her because it automatically reminder her of her brother? Same vibes

That is some next level shit man wow

I think that's is the oddest thing I have EVER heard as to why someone does not want to date someone within their ethnic group. There's NOTHING about my son's father/spouse that would REMIND ME OF MY BROS! LMAO 😂😂😂 But to each his/her own. My spouse is a COMPLETELY different complexion from my brothers. Crazy thing about what she said is that MOST young women choose men who are similar to a father figure to them such AS their Dads. My spouse has SOME attributes like my Dad but there is NOTHING about him, as a Black male, that reminds me of my damn brothers. LOL! 🤣

As an Asian guy, honestly this is a pretty common phenomenal among the Asian American community. From my observation, it depends on an individual-by-individual basis, but usually, a lot of it boils down to a few factors. And yes, this is generalizing it a bit, since the problem is more complex and I am mostly talking about east asians 1) Family/culture. Its not hard to see that east Asian culture is very different from western culture. It emphasizes more on the family rather than the individual, which is what the west focuses on. The problem is the perversion of the aspects of the culture by incompetent parents. A lot of the Asian parents arrived to the US post 70s and a majority of them were from the poor rural areas of Asia. Not saying all, but there has to be a massive driving force for you to abandon your family, friends, connections to go to a foreign land with an alien culture and foreign language that you can't even speak. The problem is that a lot of these parents who came also were not very educated and also didn't have the best upbringing. Asia also wasn't really industrialized, so basically they were similar to like 1700 to 1800s rural country bumpkins with a lot of backwards ways of think and trauma from their parents as well. Physical and Verbal abuse was common, so is gaslighting and emotional manipulation. I had similar upbringing, but saw that my parents were just idiots, since I knew several Asian parents who did a good job at raising their kids. Also even my international friend, straight from China, was shocked at my upbringing. The problem can come from if you have no other contact, or if the only other Asian families that you knew were also as abusive as yours. Then you might see that as a cultural thing, not to mention that a lot of the "culture" that they bring to the US are backwards and outdated as their home country continues to evolve and industrialize. Though there are some parts of the actual culture that can cause hate and resentment due to the situation of the home country and how they don't get the memo of the US. One of that is the extreme emphasize on education. Many of the east Asian countries have extreme focus on education, especially for the poorer families, because for a lower class family in Asia, the "only" want to climb the social class is to do very good in school, where only the best students will get selected into a handful of top colleges. Trade jobs are seems as lower class and don't pay well. Not to mention education is also more of a cultural thing as many Asian countries have a history of valuing education, like the imperial exams of the past. This focus on education is the reason why stats wise, Asians have the highest average income, but that does come at a large cost, a massive mental health problem and hits to self-esteem and lacking in areas of social skills. Not to mention, that the US, education isn't seemed as cool, and more "dumbness/jockish" culture is celebrated. This can definitely breed resentment, especially when combined with horrible parents uneducated parents who don't know the first thing about raising children. This is why suicide is the #1 cause of death for young Asian Americans. This is honestly one part of East Asian culture that I hope would change in the future, the insane education and work culture, it is a pure and brutal meritocracy, which while I like the concept of a meritocracy on paper, when put into practice with a massive population and only like a small few percent of the population will be admitted and how that that is your "only" opportunity of to get into a good middle class lifestyle that sort of cutthroat competition isn't something that most people want. Education should be valued, but not to the point where you discard everything else, including a childhood 2) Us propaganda and Hollywood. Honestly this has been a thing ever since the first Asian immigrants arrived in the Us to work on the railroads. The people in power, white people, mostly saw these immigrants as a threat since they got to close to their women and so has spend years trying to depict them as subhumans in their films. The "yellow" peril was what it was called, racial discrimination and even physical violence, search up "Watsonville riot". Discrimination laws, the first ever racial immigration act was the Chinese exclusion act. Not to mention discrimination treatment. If an American women married an Asian guy, she would lose her citizenship, where in situations like the Japanese internment camp, if a japanese women married a white American, they will not be relocated into the interment camps, where the other way around would still place them in those camps Also when Asians were able to find success in middle class films due to education valuing culture, Hollywood does it job by portraying almost every Asian man as socially awkward nerds and loners or the weird fresh of the boat character who can barely speak English and is the butt of all jokes. There was the martial arts period that was paved by the likes of Bruce Lee, but they were never depicted as romantic interest, the so call emasculation of Asian men by the media. While they also play up the parts of the "white savior", where only the white men can save the day. Think of something like the last samurai, where some random white guy goes to japan, kills the japanese guy, sleeps with his wife, and saves japan. Honestly, the last samurai is just one of the many films that depicts this, think of how many hollywood films where the Asian women ends up or is paired with a white guy vs how many were paired with an Asian guy, lets see, Last Samurai, Pacific Rim, Great wall, Madama Butterfly are literally just a few in a lot of list. Also there is a lack of Asian and Asian family depiction, where the "American Family" is seem all the time on media. So many people from abusive Asian family associate their abusive family with their culture and have an "idealized" version of American culture, where the grass isn't always greener. 3) The perpetual foreigner and wanting to fit in. Asians are a pretty small minority in the US population wise, only at like 6 or 7%, and outnumbered by white, black, and Latinos. This is especially true in some schools. There's a lot of Asian kids who would go to these schools that had little to no other Asians in them. Being the only Asian in a school of black and white kids makes you stick out like a sore thumb. Not to mention how your family structure, food, and culture is pretty different. This can lead to a lot of bullying by white and black kids. This bullying and being treated as foreigner, despite being born in the US can lead to a hatred of one's culture and self hate as well. So many would try to discard their "Asian Culture" to try to fit in as much as possible. Basically a situation like what the tv show "Fresh off the Boad" depicts in like the first few episodes Honestly, these might not be the only reasons, but a mix of these 3 are the usual reason why these people like this girl came to be. Also the preference thing is BS IMO, feel like its basically borderlines racism My take is 1) If you only date your race, that's fine, people tend to be with others of similar values and upbringings 2) If you date outside your race, then you shouldn't exclude any race, you should be open to all races 3) If you exclude a race, its probably a hint of racism since there are a variety of people even within a race with different experiences, personality, and upbrings 4) If you exclude your own race, then you really have some massive self-hating problems and you probably need to reexamine your values and/or seek help

To me I don’t understand how people use “learning new things” as a cop out to not dating someone within their race, why we both can’t learn new things together, expand our horizons together, travel to new places together, learn new cultures together, you dating someone to teach you new things sounds like a hassle for the other partner, to me, sounds like you’re looking for a teacher instead of a life partner😂

Funny enough my mixed-race wife used to say the same thing about mixed-race guys before she met me. Said she never wanted to date one because people would think we're siblings. In fairness to her, people have taken us for siblings at least 10 times since we've been together.

Like has been an insert word since the 90s. I remember girls in middle and high school using like so much. It would drive me insane listening to a person explain something and every other word was 'like'!

Black men speak like this all the time. As a bleach woman I’m used to it. They think black women are beneath them. It’s probably how she feels about Asian men.

7:43 this is what customer service is like

This is in the black community too. Some black men exclusively Date other and some black women refuse to date black men. I think it’s a self hatred thing. It’s ok to be open to dating all backgrounds and really focusing on personality but it’s weird to say I don’t date my own complexion and don’t really have a solid reason why. It’s weird.

In high school, I knew a set of Asian twins, both girls (I think they were Vietnamese but I could be wrong). Their mother wanted them to only date Asian boys and to be the top of all their classes so that they could get into any college. One twin was the "model daughter" and never dated because there were so few Asian boys at our school and she had really strict standards for dating. The other sister refused to date any of the few Asian boys just because they were Asian. The latter twin refused to date Asian boys because she wanted some form of independence from her mother's demands and only dating non-Asian boys was her form of rebellion, because she wanted to be the top of our class so that she could get out of that crappy town. That might be the case for the young woman in the video: dating only non-Asian men as a form of rebellion against her family's expectations.

“I don’t date Asian guys because they remind me of my brother” is the same thing as that one girl on Jubilee’s 1-20 dating show saying she doesn’t date men younger than her because they remind her of her brother. I feel like the Asian chick on the whatever show and the Asian chick that went on the 1-20 Jubilee dating show would be besties.

Good point, my high school career teacher told us stop saying like and Uhh in a sentence. Still listen to speech till this day.

I do struggle to find mixed-race/lightskin (I'm mixed race) guys my type because a lot do remind me of my brother. But, keeping in mind I'm in an area where they follow similar culture, and in a predominantly white setting, have developped similar characteristics and traits based on how they've been received in said society. If I met mixed-race guys like me outside of where I'm from, maybe there could be more there. But, I have personally yet to come across it. I have liked East-Asian guys, black guys, Indian, and white. I've just really struggled to come around to liking mixed guys even if everyone else finds an individual attractive. It is probably because I grew up with the only mixed guy I know being my brother, since we lived in white areas. My types have definitely expanded by getting to know different people. If you are for example, friends with one Indian guy and he's what you think of when you think of inidan people - you may incorrectly assume you don't like indian guys like that. Sometimes it just takes one person you're compatible to realise your type is more varied than you thought.

7:53 I am very happy to see that I’m not the only person on the face of this earth that genuinely gets triggered by stupidity stupid people trigger me and the trigger Aba too

She’s not the only Asian female that I’ve seen said this. This is very common in their community.

I find it odd if a person explicitly doesn't not date people of their own race. It isn't a preference, it's an aversion. To me, it reeks of self hate.

I agree with Aba here I used to feel that way about my culture. Everybody at my school elementary school was white for the most part and not fitting in made me sad so I kinda disassociate with it. Now I realize it's a part of who I am so I embrace ot more and want to learn it.

I gotta admit that I don’t particularly like, take interest in my own culture or country. But it’s mostly because my country didn’t give me much of an opportunity to grow. So I don’t really understand patriotism and things like that. BUT with that being said I don’t really outright sort out women I would potentially like to date by their specific looks or ethnicity. I think it’s absolutely mental when people create boundaries or these perfect images in their mind of who they would want to date. This applies more to women though. There needs to be feelings involved not your preconceived notions. I threw all my idealistic, imaginary perfect girl bs I’d like to date concept out the window when I fell in love with a girl I never thought I would fall in love with. It’s like you never know. And if you eliminate such a big percentage of people you could potentially date I’d say that’s more of a loss than a win… it’s hard finding the right person as is.

Reminds me of that Tiffany on Jubilee with the "I don't want to date younger men because they remind me of my little brother."