I use to wonder how insanely wealthy people always want more and more money. A lot of them grew up from tough backgrounds and absolutely don't want any chance of going back.
@@markhale6105 I really don't know. These days, I pretty much spend money on gas for the car and things that are needed for the house (i.e. cleaning supplies, light bulbs, etc.). I think I'm allergic to the mall and department stores. My wife has to drag me to Target or Walmart. So I don't buy clothes or gadgets for myself.
I am the same. I grew up with parents that were financially irresponsible. Mine were the same as Jade’s parents. I will wear clothes and drive vehicles until they are falling apart. And we have money to buy new! My husband and I are debt free but I won’t buy things just to save money. My husband will force me to buy things! I agree with Dave and Jade! Thanks for bringing up this topic!
As someone who has majorly screwed up financially, and was nearly evicted from my apartment, I'm feeling this as well. I spent $10 today on medication for my anxiety (as it has gotten really, really bad), and I felt guilty about spending that, as I'm trying to find another part-time job, in addition to my current full time job to make ends meet, eventually pay back my brother for my rent, still feeling horrible about wasting money right and left, need a fresh start, feeling that mybrother is pissed at me, feeling that I need a fresh start, etc. It totally sucks.
@@janetslater129 you can do it Janet. It took me 11 years to get out of debt and financially well off. It was a lot of hard work, but so worth it. Keep looking forward and work hard! God Bless!
Whew, I'm there too. Ive worked so hard to be debt free and we r less than a year away from that goal. I dread spending money, esp on food (and the costs have gone up so quickly) which is our biggest expense. I have to give myself a pep talk before going in the grocery store. It's def a fear driven emotion.
I am 47 and I cry nervous, guilty tears every time I buy anything over 100 dollars. I just bought myself a winter jacket worth 90 dollars and I felt so ashamed, because I already have a 14-year-old winter jacket. There's not much wrong with it, it can still work. And guess what. We're not fucking poor! And for ten million times I had to listen to my mother tell me NO, we don't have money... We were never fucking poor! I just can't get out of it. The anxiety, the shame. The guilt. The wastefulness. The idea of having two parkas - because you can freaking bet I am NEVER throwing the old one away ...
Jade nailed it 100% when I was a kid I remember my mom saying we had no money and dads business was struggling and it made a long lasting impact and I am in similar position as Chris. I am not nearly as bad as Chris but way more frugal than we need to be. It for sure is fear issue and not a guilt issue.
Same here, my we had everything growing up but my mom was very frugal , so was my dad but he also was like F this and would go buy boats, motorhomes and my mom would just be so mad .
There is no such thing as too frugal and for Jade & Dave to say otherwise is extremely irresponsible and immature of them. I would expect better from them.
I always hated vacations. I always thought about how much I'm spending and all the chores I could be getting done around the house. I'm a really fun guy.😂
I'm frugal also but If I know I'm going to use it that helps me definitely justify the purchase and if I see I don't use something much anymore I'll sell it as I hate clutter.
I used to be like this gentleman. Pinched very penny on the smallest purchases because I was recovering from losing all of my money due to debt and other life crises. I was afraid to lose it all again so I hardly spent my money. Now that I’m financially stable I realized it’s okay to spoil yourself once in a while because life is too short and tomorrow is never promised. Believe me some people save so much only to end up dying before retirement age. I’ve seen it first hand, so just enjoy life. Everything cost money. It’s inevitable.
@@ClaxtonBay123 how much money it cost to take a walk, or gather pine needles in a forest, or hunt for truffles or wild mushrooms, or take a drink of water, or swim in a lake or ocean, or have a nice conversation with a friend, or take a nap, or make a friend, or watch people work or watch people live, or to learn something new?
Yes sir, my Granfather worked for GM most of his adult life. When all his buddies retired they all had a pile of money. Almost everyone of them died within 4 to 5 years after they retired. That’s what I tell my wife sometimes and she thinks I’m crazy when I tell her tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Let’s have some fun now.
In this life we are always on the concerning mode… If we dont have enough money we are in fear to save up for a better future also if we have enough money we are still anxious about possible failure and lose everything. Life is difficult!
To the caller; I hate spending money too. I do believe in saving money, cooking at home but, I had to be logical and understand that I can't take it with me when I pass away. Therefore, I should enjoy what I work for. Being fearful of spending on things or experiences that had me missing out on living the life that I want.
But it’s not a mindset change that needs to happen. You dip into that spending mindset even a little you’ll never stop. I’ve been there. Better to be safe than sorry. I know Dave & Jade will say otherwise but that’s why they’re wrong
Another great example that there is no such thing as financial peace! There is only one way to experience peace and it's not money (or building wealth)
Wonderful Job Chris. I am the same way . I look at Mortorhomes that are around 150k then i talk myself out of them, then i looked at corvettes, again, talked mysef out of one. Now i just golf more, fish more and help others and have the nicest yard and garden in the entire city.
The key is having a REASONABLE budget for your current financial situation. Having only $2.2M is not abundance yet. However, he can spend more than he would have at zero net worth or $1M net worth. At his age I had less but as I grew older and wealthier, I methodically grew my Give Spend budget at a rate proportionate to my passive income growth.
Reasonable is being as frugal as possible until you’ve hit abundance and then reaching that next level of discipline into still restraining yourself. One wrong step will completely ruin you, so don’t take the gas off the pedal. Dave says steps 4-6 are a marathon not a sprint. I say that’s a crock.
My parents and one grandparent had that problem. They were all frugal people, had gone through the great depression, etc. Spending money just wasn't comfortable. My grandmother wasn't rich, but she was well off, and she wouldn't make herself a baked potato because "it takes so much money to heat up the oven". This is a woman that kept $50K in her checking account because she didn't want to accidentally get an overdraft charge (yes, I know that was dumb money but you couldn't change her mind and it was her money after all). My parents weren't as bad but there were things they didn't do and financially could certainly have done. I'm trying to split that difference and remain frugal but not be afraid to spend on things that do matter to me.
@@genxx2724 Myrtle? Is that you? ;) Kidding aside I can see where if you are working to keep expenses down (or just don't like baked potatoes that much) using the stove efficiently makes sense. But she'd paid her dues so to say. She could have burned hundred dollar bills to fuel the stove and her bank balance wouldn't have noticed it. It's a shame she didn't get more enjoyment out of all the sacrifices she and her husband had made over their lives.
I’m the opposite. I’ve dug myself out of debt and then stuff keeps happening so I have to use my emergency fund. So as soon as I replenish it I go back to spending because I want to enjoy life. I’m on 4,5,6. Starting to pay off house very soon.
Spending money feels selfish to me. I can’t get past that feeling. Or if I do spend on something I want, something will break at home 10 minutes later and I’ll wish I hadn’t spent that money.
I'm also this guy but it's not fear for me, it's laziness. My mentality is spend as little as possible work as little as possible to the point of I'd live in a trailer home if it means I could still live on 20-30 hours a week. 🤷
Are there any more videos on this subject? I'd love to learn more. I'm not super well off financially but I'm not poor either. Hoping to buy a house in the next year so I can be done with renting. But I feel such anxiety about becoming poor again.
I think the caller may also do good in giving, maybe a donation to a church or non-profit group, perhaps St. Jude or somthing. Practice spending by giving. Feel good by it.
I hate taking money from my saving account. I solved it by having a ”fun”-account where I put a little money every month and just consider those money already spent like you’ve just paid a bill. That way the anxiety don’t kick in when I use money from that account and I have full control over my budget.
He either grew up poor or he doesn't have a financial goal or his goal is too aggressive. Some people pursuing FIRE have such an aggressive savings goal they are like this. Set a reasonable goal and allot for these expenses.
You do not need to manufacture a fear pathology for yourself to be successful saving money and being smart and disciplined. I understand that circumstances cause that for some, but if you aren’t in dire circumstances you do not have to create an environment of terror to win. Don’t put that attitude on a pedestal.
Budget for fun! As Rachel has said, THAT gives you permission to spend according to a reasonable plan. Pausing to consider a significant expense is good but don't let it paralize you with fear/guilt. Live life following your dreams/goals with an intentional plan via a budget to ensure you can relax knowing you are still on-track! Even vacations/experiences can be an investment in memories, which really can become invaluable and irreplaceable. Invest in things/activities/people in ways that bring you joy. You have worked diligently to earn this benefit, so don't let life's past baggage continue to burden you in this hard won chapter.
Because there would be no 'show'. The guy literally sounded like a kid. It is all fake and all about set up phone calls and replies. My friend callled in three times with a differnt story. Its kinda like the Maury Povich show.
See here’s the problem: this is precisely a recipe to undo all of the hard work you did to get the wealth you have now. Wasting money on material items is precisely how you find yourself back into debt. Dave & Jade won’t say it bc they’re not honoring the plan but it’s true
I hate the feeling of spending money but even more so the feeling of not spending money. I was conditioned to save, never to Spend. For me I have to learn how to deal with that feeling now!! I’m trying to spend by buying things for others and watching the joy it brings them. Maybe someday I can buy myself something?
They both gave great advice. One thing I may have added would've been for Chris to allot some more money to his 'blow' budget. In fact, in his situation he could stipulate that he 'has to' spend that money as this would help to develop that spending muscle sensibly and responsibly.
I guarantee he is not on a budget. Budgets work both ways. It gives you permission to spend. If he and his wife put a budget together, they will have money for saving, money for date nights, money for enjoying nice things. He can do the math and see how wealthy that are now and are going to be if they follow the budget. Facts are your friends. He will know that this big item he’s looking at paying for is in the budget and is not going to make them broke. They’re going to be alright.
Or he does and he (rightly) decided he’s too immature to waste on himself. He has the correct mentality but Dave & Jade didn’t wanna vibe with that 🤷♂️ not their call tho they don’t get to choose the vibes. It’s the plan.
Well from the study Dave has done. I'm sure that psychologist is in alot of debt. So in this case Dave, having gone through it and being a millionaire is the right one to give advice.
Life is uncertain, and we live in fear, irrespective of whatever amount of money we have. On a side note, I respect calls where people are really working to get out of debt via the baby steps. Anyone whose net worth is > 1 M should be featured on Everyday Millionaires.
@superblump87 um, you're talking to the person, I work, but I don't need to. I work and invest to create more wealth. All I'm saying is that there are people that still fear loosing income eventhough their networth is over a million. Don't be stupid. There are people fear loosing a job eventhough they are well off.
Marcenel Joseph it seemed to me that Dave was actually saying that dealing with what he and also the person on the phone has had to deal with in the past, that it was fairly normal behavior to feel what the guy feels, but that with time he can realize that he's basing his feelings on past problems rather than on the reality of today. So no, I doubt that the guy needs serious therapy. He might need a few sessions to get him going on the right track, but I don't see this as a "serious therapy" type need though.
It is a normal and real thing, not a needing therapy thing. Even some wealthy athletes and celebrities are uncomfortable spending large amounts of money, because they fear the gravy train will stop and they will end up back where they started. Internet is full of examples of well known riches to rags.
He has a scarcity mindset still. Money is just a tool. It’s literally just made out of recycled blue jean material. It’s not to be worshipped, but to be used as any other tool in your tool box.
Hi mate, my name is Steve and I’m calling well messaging from Australia. Cut long story short. I have listened to endless videos and podcasts on fear with money and nobody puts a better than yourself and I feel that you could really help me and I could really get some insight Would a phone call be possible to arrange abroad. If so, I would be more than happy to cooperate with you to make this happen. It would be an honour to be able to express some concerns to. Cheers
@The Ramsey Show: I am like this guy, hate spending a dime. Spent $7k on a family vacation in April. It did not help one bit. I cringe every time we have to buy something. My wife hates me, does not want to deal with it anymore. We hav3 been sharing a car for over a year simply to save on car insurance.
The key is having a REASONABLE budget for your current financial situation. Having only $2.2M is not abundance yet. However, he can spend more than he would have at zero net worth or $1M net worth. At his age I had less but as I grew older and wealthier, I methodically grew my Give Spend budget at a rate proportionate to my passive income growth. For your marriages sake make a budget that includes passive income. If you have $1M cash, make sure it is in a high yielding investment.
No way. He didn't offer his net worth, until Dave asked for it. Further it is a real problem and common and I had it. So, I know. I suppose you think I'm flexing to you now.
Spending $100 gives me anxiety and I don't even decide to spend it I need a frame and a box spring I sleep with a mattress on the floor for the last 3 years
