I Have Issues Respecting My Husband's Decisions! 

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I was a mortgage banker for 15 years. You can actually convert a 30-year mortgage into a 17 year mortgage by sending only 1 Extra payment per year in January. So instead of 12 payments per year that you normal would pay, you make a total of 13 payments during each given calendar year. That 13th payment needs to go to principal only and make sure you write that on the memo of your check otherwise the bank will assume it's their interest versus 100% principal. You won't feel the added stress of making that high 15-year mortgage payment. Plus you will have the benefits of a 30-year loan payment with this accelerated interest reduction.

Dave said "Don't put me in between your your marriage." let's get that clear lol

Any guy would be fortunate, blessed really, to be married to a woman like this who is frugal, reasonable, mature and unselfish.

Buying too much house is a huge mistake! Most people are not at a point in their life where they should be buying their dream house.

Caller: My husband wants a 30 yea- Dr Deloney: That’s not it is it?

DAVE I save my $1000 dollars today, I am so happy thankyou! Baby step 2 coming next 😃

As head of the house it is our job, to sacrifice, suffer and even die if need be to protect and provide for our family just as Christ did for us. One of my wife's many jobs is to keep me from making stupid decisions that are going to increase my sacrifice and suffering. A wise husband pays careful attention to how his wife feels, because sometimes we are so busy doing we don't stop to think about our feelings. Women have a built in secureometer that goes off when we are about to do something dumb.

Dave: What`s your household income? Dr. John: How long you've been married?

This doesn't have to be that big of a deal.

Hilarious how they think their marriage is coming to an end because they can't figure out if it should be a 15 or 30 year mortgage

she sounds young and is getting a taste of reality

As a husband of nearly 15 years, the hardest fight I've ever had with my wife, was the first one.

Dave, your description of ‘head of the house’. Wow. Talk about humility. Amazing.

You don’t want to be house poor! The more money you save on a mortgage, the more you can save and invest with!

They didn't really help her, they just made her feel bad and question her marriage. I think they just have to figure out a way to compromise.

There is no mutual love without mutual respect.

This call title and the sound of her voice on the call breaks my heart. By reading some of the comments it seems like it might be a controversial opinion...but I believe a marriage is a partnership his opinions and thought shouldn’t be more valuable than hers

“This is our first fight” lol she’s in for a ride

Everybody is piling on the husband for wanting a 30 year mortgage. The guy is being judicious, and wants to be able to afford the monthly payments. The higher ‘15 year’ is not for everyone!

I REALLY don't like how Dr John always makes it as if the marriage is in jeopardy. Dude, every disagreement doesn't have to be a sign of marriage problems. Every other call people hang up thinking they're getting a divorce on freaking air.

I hate how the other guy acts like he knows everyone’s personal issues haha

Married for a year and this is their first fight? They didn’t spend enough time together before tying the knot.

She is right about the mortgage, but wrong about marriage. She thought she was signing up for a Disney movie.

Great advice! The first big argument I had with my fiance was an amazing milestone in our relationship. It revealed who we were deep down and ended up being a blessing. We both had to humble ourselves, and we were forced to learn how to compromise. It truly felt like the holy spirit guided us. I'm getting married soon, and am very happy because I know we have the communication skills to solve even bigger issues that are sure to arise from life. These big arguments often break marriages, but they can make them stronger too.

" I just realized I married an emotional infant and now I'm stuck because the Bible is being weaponized against me"

Husband watches graham and wife watches dave

imagine binge watching these and then your girlfriend or wife is on here yacking about your decisions

I don’t like how John Delony self deprecates himself and calls himself a “pseudo doc”, I get where it is coming from but be proud of the knowledge you have gained as a PhD.

Makes me wonder who wanted the wedding.

Husband and wife are equal partners. This sounds like a decision they need to figure out for themselves.

Consider the alternate mortgage payoff plan. Get a 30 year mortgage and pay it off as the 15 year rate. The difference in the two mortgage rates will be contributions to equity. My wife and I did this and we were able to pay off our mortgage in 12 1/2 years. If you have a few lean months, you can revert back to the 30 year mortgage monthly payment without any repercussions the mortgage company as you are in charge of the amount you pay in excess of the committed monthly payment. However you have to be diligent about making the monthly minimum payment on a regular basis otherwise you’d be in default of the mortgage.

I clicked on the video because I assumed it was my wife calling in. Jk, love you baby

So much drama. Maybe the guy just wants a lower payment incase he loses his job. Nothing wrong with that especially in this financial climate.

Sounds like she’s a people pleaser I’ve been there ! Keep your boundaries honey

this lego looking guy is always getting emotional with the female callers

If you have a husband who listens to his wife, that is a dream. This woman sounds like she is living my life. But I cannot say anything and have zero control. I want to pay my student debt off but that does not seem a priority to him. It sucks when you live a life with someone who is not listening to their spouse, I know what she is feeling. It really sucks!!!!

Literally reccomended to me when this video has been out for SECONDS

After I argue with my wife I tighten the lids on all jars. Just so I can say, "Oh, you need me now?"

If you want him to lead then sit back and allow him to do his stupid decisions. If you want to be an equal partner and a smart strong women, don't let him run the household. You are his partner not his employees or his daughter.

2:09 Dr. Deloney sounds like one of those psychic infomercials.

I feel like John could be on a call with someone who vaguely mentioned they disagreed with their spouse about something small like where to eat and he’d response with “this is something deeper isn’t it?!” And act like they’re about to get a divorce Bc of a silly disagreement 🙃

He won't listen to her because she's brought Dave Ramsey into her bedroom and leader of their household. People can be so out of touch with their communication.

Weirdest call I can think of I've heard on dave Ramsey. What this woman needed was to be told the Ramsey solution is the fastest and best solution to attaining wealth but of course, compromises can be made. This woman's husband wanting a longer mortgage isn't unloving isn't wrong just different and a perfect opportunity for her to express herself made her idea known and then be willing to submit and that is how the Bible says you win your husband. Winning her husband is the fastest and best solution for her to attain contentment

This should have been discussed prior to marriage, and you mean to tell me this is your first disagreement with your husband....very hard to believe.

Do not do the no down payment house! It ruined my life. I was made to sign papers with my fiance at the time. Literally the brokerage staff was standing all around me. I did not have the money or smarts it was my first buy. Unfortunately it caused me to lose my fiance and my income for years. I was working to eat Ramen because I was house poor. Again don't do it! My next house was under 100000k and a 15 year 20% down and almost paid off. So much in a better place.

There is nothing wrong with a 30 year mortgage. You will pay a little higher interest but you can pay it off just like a 15 year mortgage by just paying extra on the principle. You also have the comfort of making the regular payments if something happens to your income like a job loss or sickness. You just have to be discipline. Good luck, you and your husband can work this out.

This is a useless call. Go and settle with your husband. A needless fight; if that’s your only problem then you don’t have a problem.

To accurately answer these marriage / financial questions you need to listen to both sides. On all these calls you get one person’s point of view structured in a way to align with Dave Ramsey’s ideology, so obviously they will tell them they are right and their spouse is wrong. Get both people on the call or see a marriage counselor.

You can pay off a 30 year mortgage in 15 or less years cluck

LOL - Dont have kids - the fights will be almost everyday over Oreo cookies .

I’ve got another option. When we were in our first house, my husband lost his job and was out of work for a full year. I was so thankful that we had gotten a 30 year mortgage because during that time we had a lower monthly payment than we would have had with a 15 year mortgage. We had been paying double payments up until his job loss and then started them up again after he finally got another job. So we made our own “15 year mortgage” but weren’t held to it when times got tough. When we moved to our new home in a different state we did the same thing-made double payments on a 30 year mortgage. I was sooo glad we did because a few years later we BOTH lost our jobs at the SAME time! We cobbled together some part time work but it took a year again until we were both fully employed. One thing I will say though is that I take care of the money and have a lot of self control in that area so it worked to make double payments on a regular basis. Some people probably wouldn’t have been able to get that done.

Gotta give this channel a shout out for providing all the examples and reasons why I don't ever want to get married.

Welcome to the Dave Ramsey and Dr. Ruth show. Can we quit feeding into the emotions of the female callers or apply the same emotional questions to the male callers.

This idea that the man is the head of the household is bs. I make more money than my husband, but we are a team and we both compromise all the time.

Dave Ramsey's step is a template/framework. You need to adapt this to your situation and not just follow religiously. I was also disappointed in the way they washed down the man's role without understanding his perspective. The Head of the house means protection, not necessarily an assertive authority. The man is 'I believe' considering the ability to be able to afford the monthly mortgage if one loses a job, Also being a new marriage, the possibility of kids in the coming years. 1 yr in marriage, they definitely still yet to fathom their financial responsibility yet, a lot may still pop up. The man may indeed be looking to protect the family from unseen circumstances while the woman is bent on her approach. the better advice would have been to understand the man's perspective and find a meeting point like do 30 years and attack with extra funds as available which may eventually get you a fifteen-year payoff or less. With this approach, you both cater to any situation that comes and still achieve the 15 years house payment free. a template/framework doesn't mean throughout your brain.

As a husband. I assume his fear is a bigger monthly payment. As he needs to provide and protect. I say go with a 30 and accelerate the payments to have it paid off early. It eases his fear and satisfies her as well. Its more than numbers sometimes!!

1 year into marriage and never had a fight? Sounds more unhealthy than healthy!

I’m not liking this new direction in marriage counseling over the radio. Just stick to financials like 200k dollar tuba degrees that we can laugh at.

Head of the house? No, you are equal partners, both invested in protecting your household and making good decisions

I want to hear the husband's side. She never said why he wants these things.

You can do a 30 year mortgage and pay it off sooner. You can do biweekly payments, make extra house payments during the year, apply income tax refunds, bonuses, etc. to the balance.

I dislike the way you guys are always interrupting and talking over one another. One at a time, please. I enjoy your channel very much.

Go ahead and get the 30 year mortgage... but pay it off early. Problem solved. . You don't have to just make the required payments. You can pay more. . This gives you the ability to just make that minimum required sometimes, but your self discipline is what makes you win.

I don't understand the big deal. Do the 30 year mortgage and pay extra if you really want to. This is being completely overblown.

TEAM WORK makes the dream work

Did they not talk about how they’d purchase a home or what kind of home they want to buy together, before they got married?

I'm glad my husband and I respected and honored each other equally because when he died suddenly in an accident, I became head of my household overnight.

Great info and advice! ❤️👏🏼

Dave having all these simple minded fools locked into there is only one way to do things is just sad. So many factors are never taken into account on these calls.

If you're on the same page on EVERYTHING except for this one thing, down to where to have dinner, then someone isn't being honest.

I don't see why anyone would want a 15 year mortgage. Money is worth more now and less later.

Love Dave. Got out of debt with his plan. Very grateful! I heard this call. If my wife and I were having a gentle, kind discussion on 15 vs 30 year mortgage and she 1) Put it on national blast and 2) Was told "there must be something else" when our marriage has been great...I'd be ticked. Do the 30 year young lady. It isn't a sin. Follow your husband in what "seems" to be a great, young marriage. I pray this young lady didn't get off this call feeling worse about her husband.

Job loss can happen anytime to anybody. What would the backup plan be for a home purchased with a 30 year mortgage? This happened to us. Spouse out of work for over a year.

“Mic drop” 😂😂😂😂😂

I wanted a 30 year mortgage in case of a tight month. My wife wanted a 15 year mortgage. We came together by getting the 30 year and committing to paying extra against the principle each month. We paid off our house in 3 years and 7 months. I guess we got intense... It was the most unified period of our 46 year marriage.

The person is not the office. In other words her husband's name is not the office of head of household. He is IN the office. And if he is not living up to the office, it is the helpmeet's obligation to remind him what office he is in and how to live up to it.

30 year mortgages are fine. Down payment assistance is a wonderful boon. Dave's advice is generally great, but to advice against taking a natural boon is ridiculous.

Caller: "I have a mortgage question" John: "Call 911 your husband is Jeffrey Dahmer(probabaly)"...

I just got married 2 months ago. My wife and I live in the Seattle area. We've lived together for about a year now and money has been the most consistent argument. Money is the #1 cause of divorce and I'm trying to learn how to make peace with money so my wife and I can make it to 60+ years

Man and woman are both leaders. We just lead differently from each other and that’s ok. God made us that way for a divine reason. People should come together with the understanding of this.

The problem at least in my opinion is that when it comes to these sort of decisions it doesn't sound like we have a united couple when it comes to the marriages finances. She needs to get her husband and herself in front of someone that they can mutually respect to talk about this house he wants to buy and help walk through the financial implications of taking on such a long mortgage. Not to mention help this couple deal with what sounds to me like a clear cut power imbalance in the marriage's financial affair which is not indicative of a healthy marriage (I suspect the wife believes her husband could run off and borrow this money via the longer term mortgage because he wants more money available in the monthly budget irregardless of if it is in his best long term interest to do that). A shorter mortgage costs more per month but the thing is if you are uncomfortable paying more for the mortgage via a 15 year mortgage then ask yourself this: If you go with the 30 year mortgage and interest rates and/or the economic situation changes which leads to the bank demanding higher payments and higher interest rates - will you be able to afford that sort of financial shock at that time? It's better to go with the shorter mortgage as it allows for you pay off that massive debt quicker and if you are uncomfortable with taking on the higher monthly payments then you might be better off not getting a mortgage in the first place.

In 1998 I financed a new vehicle at my credit union. I wanted the shortest payoff terms that I felt comfortable with. The financed amount was about $13,500 and payments for 60 months were only about $20 mo less than on 48 mo. I chose 48. I purchased a home in '99 for 30 years. Began making additional principle payments about 4-5 yrs later and refi'ed to a 15 yr loan 2 yrs after that, and with a 1.5% interest reduction. My payments were only $100 mo more, but it chopped off huge interest. Got it all paid off in just over 19 yrs in total.

I think many couples confuse respect with fear and authority for leadership. You can respect your husband while disgreeing and he needs to prove his capability for leadership before she follows him blindly.

Just do the 30 year and then throw all your extra money at it every month to reduce the principal and pay it off years and year early. If you ever get into a situation where you're strapped for cash, then you're only obligated to pay lower 30 year mortgage payment amount.

For us, the 30-year mortgage had nothing to do with being able to buy more house. I say, get the 30-year but pay it like it's a 15-year mortgage. That way if you get in over your head or get into trouble you have that cushion. We got a 30-year but did not take that long to pay it off. We had trouble paying the higher amount early on but have no problem paying more now.

It's okay to say no! This is the defining moment in the marriage.........gosh, I hope she doesn't back down!

That girl is a freaking _treasure._

This is about my 200th episode. And i cannot express how much i appreciate all your kind words and how much you honor our holy father. I am so grateful to have found you Mr.Ramsey! Thank you.

You are absolutely right Dave. The husband is using this as I’m the boss of the house, this is Spiritual abuse in the house hold. Thank you for your comment that his role is one of service.

First things first... agree on purchase price. After that its not that big of a deal to have a 30 yr vs 15yr. You can always pay extra or invest the difference(better option)

Go with your husband on it and try it for a while. And if things go bad, gently suggest trying your way and see if that helps. Don't tell him 'i told you so' as he will probably feel bad enough about screwing up the whole deal. But who knows? It may work out well and she's worried about nothing.

Nothing wrong with a 30 year mortgage if you can be disciplined enough to make extra payments. it gives you a safety net for lower payments in unexpected hard times.

Meet in the middle and go with a 23 year mortgage.

That other guy next to Ramsey loves to say "there's more to it than this" to every wife that calls in. She's calling in for financial advice, not marriage therapy. If he likes steering the direction that way every show, he needs to get his own channel. My dude, couple's can have struggle's and disagreements time to time.

Dr John always on point

Looking at this situation, it seems like a minor problem to solve. The much much bigger concern is the quality of the house and the value you’re getting vs the term of the mortgage. Whether you’re getting a 15, 20 or 30 year, all that matters is interest rate. If it’s that much of a worry, nothing stops you from putting every extra penny you have towards a house payment regardless of length of the loan and turn it into any length loan you want. Far more important is to know what you’re getting and if it’s worth it for price paid. Nobody’s looking at that. A house is a house is a house to these people. Missing the important part here.

This is “shining a light” on how religion is used to subjugate women.

Who’s that doctor? Is he the one breaking up all relationships?

Who’s with your partner for over 2 to 3 years and has not gotten in a fight yet? Y’all aren’t the same person, you must have different opinions on something. Sounds like someone’s not being too genuine. Also, 15 or 30 year mortgage shouldn’t be this stressful. Get a 30 year, pay it down like it’s a 15 year and if something happens financially you can always drop back to the 30 year payment if someone loses their job. Very simple and an easy compromise.