I Have No Clue How to Communicate With My Husband

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I Have No Clue How to Communicate With My Husband
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7 ноя 2022

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Комментарии : 173

@jodyhenning2128 10 месяцев назад

I don’t feel safe talking. I always feel like I’m explaining myself. I’ve learned everything I say can and will be used against me

@aileenkrauchi6553 7 месяцев назад

This is what she is actually thinking is my guess.

@HPLaserJet2100tn 6 месяцев назад

That describes an abusive relationship

@reneeantwi-boasiako3974 Месяц назад

@jodyhenning2128 I get you 🥹❤️

@nobleinthought8019 Год назад

She is doing all the emotional labour, is overwhelmed and his contributions are to only point out things but not take charge of any of them.

@kellharris2491 Год назад

I think she has a very timid, non-confrontational personality. She completly shuts down when faced with someone speaking 'agressively' to her. Through most of this Dr John was speaking firmly and she couldn't even get a word in. The more agrivated someone becomes the more she shuts down.

@ga6589 Год назад

I think they're overanalyzing this. Not sure if this applies to this caller, but women who are taking care of the bulk of childcare and housekeeping are used to multi-tasking on auto-pilot. They aren't likely to feel a need to explain what they're going to do with every task. A husband coming home and announcing that the kids don't have water bottles, or they're outgrowing their clothes, are things she likely already has on her mental list to deal with. Maybe he's saying it in a condescending way, like she's not doing her job, and she resents that a bit. He could possibly communicate better by just asking what he could do to help with whatever the issue might be. Go help the kids look for the bottles, or go buy the jeans. It's not rocket science.

@jd5368 Год назад

Thank you! This was my impression as well. It sounds like the husband is delegating a lot of these tasks to her and then trying to micromanage her. He should either just buy the freaking water bottles or trust her to take care of it. She sounds like she's burned out.

@JKNat9004 Год назад

@@jd5368 Yes, those of us who know that burnt out to a crisp feeling can sense that in her.

@melissadauer8757 11 месяцев назад

Tell me about it. Have not listened but … I agree

@zuzanaxyz8866 9 месяцев назад

She is TIRED. She can’t be bothered to put more stuff on her shoulders and verbalize things, that are one hundreth of what she needs to do. I don’t respond to my husband’s “have you seen my sweater”, I just silently hand it to him, because I am tired of being asked 1000x a day where something is, because he doesn’t even bother to look for something for a minute, he asks it right away and I have to do this for him and the kids without a break and I am TIREEED, so I don’t want to talk. And maybe if I did, I would shout, which he wouldn’t understand why (why are you yelling, I only need to find my sweater…) and them comes this complain that I don’t communicate this minuscule stuff enough… I don’t see this “non-communication” as a big problem, because it’s just the small stuff (for me) and I just prefer my silence to wasting more energy on talking about something that makes one thousandth of my day.

@HwayVision 3 месяца назад

@thegiftofgabby5581 Год назад

At first I thought I hateeee people like her 😂 but now I have more understanding and empathy for why she doesn’t communicate well. Very eye-opening for an over communicator like me. That’s why I love this show. Humanizes everyone.

@tomnohmy1273 Год назад

I have a feeling there's more to this. I think she's possibly depressed too

@barbarajean7208 4 месяца назад

This exactly describes communication issues I had with my ex. I was the one who didn't talk, because he would go on and on and on in response. It wasn't a conversation, it was a monologue.

@our.secret1130 3 месяца назад

Is that why you broke up?

@jansilloway325 Год назад

I lived too long shut down like she is. My late husband was a good guy, but our communication was like this. I wish I’d gotten help not being afraid of his yelling, and anger. Our communication was so bad, and I didn’t feel safe.

@kellharris2491 Год назад

That's not a good guy actually.....

@aleksandrac9335 Год назад

Good guys don't yell

@tacooflove6175 Год назад

Nah I know what you mean and just raising his voice just a little bit when your used to a nice quiet home sounds so loud. I married an Italian guy and he is so loud he scares me when he get frustrated especially while driving it sets me off but he’s never done anything and when I ask for help boom he’s there but I’ll think we’re in an argument because he will raise his voice to raise his opinion and he thinks we’re just talking while in my brain he hates me, marriage is over 😂

@amybouchard Год назад

It almost sounds like he’s issuing commands to her and the only way she can push back is by passive-aggressively not doing what he wanted. And a lack of trust in her judgement. Instead of getting all upset, why isn’t he asking her what happened and seeking to understand her better?

@zacknelson8918 Год назад

No the problem is, he is saying hey this is wrong or we need this, and she doesn't communicate back or agrees, and in her head she can solve the problem on her own and not allow him to help or have the solution

@vickimerritt2832 9 месяцев назад

if he sees the problem then he should solve it, She is not his employee.

@colmwhateveryoulike3240 Год назад

At first I wondered if she'd been raised by a control freak or someone who thinks that any statement of an issue is an invitation to be told what to do. It sounds like she's learned to internalise decision making processes to defend her sense of autonomy.

@somebodyinparticular5951 Год назад

I wonder how often she's told she's doing a good job as a mom? It's so easy to take those innocent communications as a personal attack that she's not doing her job. That it's something she should already have done. A lot of those little comments can pile up into an unintentional implication that she's not doing enough. No wonder she's not communicating! She thinks she has to do it all herself. Telling him would be an admission of inadequacy and a justification of his yelling. She's so worried she deserves it.

@UnAnonKnown Год назад

Make a To-Do list on the kitchen fridge. When he thinks of bottles, pants, etc he can write it down there and leave it alone. She can address it later when she has time (or he can just figure it out himself). Sometimes there’s just so much stuff going on - so much stimulus and so much multi tasking - that something minuscule like water bottles doesn’t even make a blip in your brain. It registers, and you store it for later, but you’re doing something else and you can’t be interrupted with yet another stimulus or you won’t get your primary project done.

@jackdeniston59 6 месяцев назад

This so much, dont tell me random stuff at random times, when I am doing something else. Write that down. So obvious.

@SageRosemary Год назад

If the father says the kids need pants, he should buy them. Why does the wife have to do everything

@jer_bear_stare1643 Год назад

Normally husbands don’t go clothes shopping for kids. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen a guy shopping in the kids department in the store looking for underwear, socks, pants, etc. I’m sure there are exceptions like the single fathers but it’s rare. Last week, bc I wasn’t feeling well, I did have my husband go shopping for pajamas for our boys because it was pajama day at school the following day 🤷🏾‍♀️

@nt3833 Год назад

Every household has their own way of dividing up responsibilities. She probably wants to do it herself because she wouldn’t like his taste in clothes! At least that’s how I’d be ;)

@MrTmenzo Год назад

If she's a stay at home mom and he brings in the income, he is technically buying them.

@Trish-lamour 3 месяца назад

@@MrTmenzo I think they still need to divide some chores. If you outsource all the household administration, I'm sure I'd be more expensive than he's earning.

@aynosille5436 Год назад

Omg… I totally understand what she’s saying… I have such a hard time thinking things out loud… I’d rather keep them in my thoughts

@stephaniecarleton3117 Год назад

Communication is a 2 way street just demanding more communication is not helpful. He can go pick up the waterbottles. Just adding more to the todo list. He is pointing out problems and expecting her to be the solution.

@redzin8818 Год назад

The husband doesn't ask questions so she doesn't give him open dialogue. Telling someone they should get more water bottles versus asking how she thinks best to handle the bottle situation are 2 different discussions.

@giveme24hrs72 Год назад

True. She probably moves at a much slower pace than he does too

@JKNat9004 Год назад

Interesting point.

@alqoshgirl 6 месяцев назад

Lol asking how to handle the water bottle situation? 😂 what? It’s not big of a deal. She’s the problem not him. She sounds like a nightmare to married to

@melodireyes9687 Год назад

I don't think this couple is really talking about water bottles at all.

@DUKEzors Год назад

So when a Yes or No question is asked, the answer should not always start with "Um, I feel like...." While the guy might need to tone it down and be a bit more patient, answering questions directly solves so many communication issues.

@lifeaccordingtotheo9643 Год назад

He's a micromanaging control freak boss doing all the bossing instead of working and she is an underappreciated employee trying to keep her head down who can't win with him. You can tell she's read a few relationship books on this and is more confused than ever. This isn't a love language issue. He's being abusive by raising his voice and starting fights. She's triggering him by keeping her head down - though can't blame her. Time for couples therapy.

@user-he6rs8xi7u Год назад

Did you talk to him?

@veeno3983 Год назад

Accurate

@vickimerritt2832 9 месяцев назад

@@user-he6rs8xi7uclearly he delagates but doesnt solve things himself. He wants her saying ,yes sir, right on it sir. Sounds like HE is running their lives as a boot camp.

@thecryptoshed6525 Год назад

I often keep all my thoughts in my head too... communication is a struggle. I realize that I get defensive too much as well but sometimes it's also because I don't even tell him what I'm thinking so he doesn't understand that I was actually listening to him because I'm solving it all in my head. Thanks for your advice.

@jennifershray4962 11 месяцев назад

Sometimes, people don't realize they are getting loud and "yelling". There deminater when they don't think they are being heard they get louder. Pare that with someone who folds in on themselves when conflict arises is difficult to fix. Both need therapy

@javaskull88 10 месяцев назад

I used to be that way with my husband at times because I had 43 things on my mind at once, and I was tired from working all day, so when he’d tell me about the water bottles I would just agree, without putting any thought into it at the time, then later (like the next day) the water bottle issue would come back to me, I’d think about it and decide what I was going to do. I would tell my husband because, by the time I saw him later, I’d forgotten all about it because it’s not an important issue. And he absolutely did the same thing, he’d forget the issue or forget to get back to me. We all have hundreds of moving parts in our days and our brains are badly overtaxed. Lots of stuff is forgotten, it’s inevitable. What he and I came up with is that if a topic was important to one of us, we had the responsibility of saying so. “Honey, pay attention, this matters.” It worked wonderfully for us. If it matters, say so at the time it first comes up.

@mooneyes2833 Год назад

My love language is acts of service...when my husband does the dishes or gets the kids ready to go out or folds laundry...without me asking him to...even when he forgets my birthday I don't care cause he shows me he loves me every day...don't tell me, don't give me a gift...don't need cuddles...just help me lol. Listening to this women talk, kinda foggy, kinda vague...idk...it's work listening to her really lol

@melanieb2132 Год назад

He's grumpy and she doesn't want to hear it.

@kc-il4sb Год назад

She avoids conflict- my husband does this- but what happens over time is the person who isn't avoidant starts losing trust. I think people learn this as a child. I've made it known to him and he is telling me more what he wants. It's very hard for him- but I want to know how he feels.

@denisecatlett7203 Месяц назад

My husband has been pointing out that we need to remove and dispose of our old hot tub. I agree he should. When he says things like this he means me taking care of it. I have a to do list a mile long. He comes home on the weekends and sits on the couch. ??????

@dorothybaer2763 Год назад

This was very helpful! My husband constantly says he needs more communication

@jacquettastrickland2532 Год назад

This is my exact situation. It really helped watching this video. I'm going to try the tips dr. John suggested.

@christinao8877 Год назад

It’s hard to say to men there are many other steps to consider for making home decisions. Grocery shopping involves cleaning the fridge, meal planning, taking inventory of food. Not just let’s go the store now.

@veeno3983 Год назад

Did it work

@JKNat9004 Год назад

@@christinao8877 True!! Likely, if us women try to explain that type of process in all household tasks, they'd get frustrated listening to the first sentence we utter

@susannaspence4512 Год назад

Same!!

@kristinaolson77 11 месяцев назад

I feel this lady! Totally get it

@tashasmith1743 Год назад

Really good! I love this method Dr. John. Thank you soooooo much!!! All you can control is your own actions and thoughts. I also like the 1 wk meeting. We do an after dinner meeting- how was your day and what's up!? It's only 20 minutes, but really helps! Sometimes I get a foot rub. 😉 Our kids have learned to give us this time. If your kids are small- it can be their media time.

@nt3833 Год назад

The husband asking more/better communication is just a basic necessity of a good relationship. That is not a love language. Acts of service on the other hand would be like noticing your husband is really busy this week so you mow the lawn for him. Or taking his car for a car wash or something.

@angelfriend3710 Год назад

The water bottles are most likely on the floor of your cars. 😊 Also, you can get lots of very nice clothes at Goodwill and Salvation Army stores for very little money. There should be very little strain on the clothing budget if you shop for the kids (and yourself) there! I buy 80% of my clothes there, and get compliments on what I'm wearing practically everyday!

@katrina3560 Год назад

Surely she's intelligent enough to have considered looking in the car for the water bottles😉

@GolfDuff Год назад

The bottles and clothes are not the problem in this conversation. The relationship is a mess, and that's where they should start.

@danielcrain2495 Год назад

This is dumb. Obviously she's smart enough to know where to look for watterbottles. This has nothing to do with knowing where to buy clothes either.

@kristenivory628 Год назад

Yes to both

@bethanynorman1829 11 месяцев назад

Okay.......this sounds like me. I have ADHD. I get quietly overwhelmed when it comes to remembering menial tasks, if they all pile up. It makes me feel like I don't know how to be a grownup. I've always struggled with concentrating. I have never felt smart or capable, even though I have many gifts pertaining to art and music. I don't know why I'm like this. My husband wants to help me, and he has made so many efforts to understand why I am like this. I always thought I was an over-communicator, but I actually struggle quite a lot, when it comes to communicating why/how/what overwhelms me. It can be really frustrating at times, because what I say and do or don't do comes across as mean, when that was never my intention.

@9liveslisa Год назад

This conversation totally confused me. lol! Except for the communication tips.

@calibrial Год назад

I have the opposite problem...I say everything I think 🤦‍♀️😅

@jarelchico Год назад

Awesome

@torihawthorne6732 Год назад

Me too

@brightpage1020 Год назад

This call is my jam.

@ysabellpp Год назад

Why is he not sorting out these small problems himself ? Feels like he’s just pointing out to her what needs to be done. I’d be shut down too, what’s the point of him saying that. Either buy the water bottles and tell me “honey I bought new water bottles for the kids” or don’t say anything at all. What a dude

@KatieLHall-fy1hw Год назад

My husband does this to me, it starts a boss-employee relationship, where he delegates all tasks to me and then gets upset when I don’t do it his way. We both work and it causes me a LOT of stress. He is working on being better so I appreciate it.

@brightpage1020 4 месяца назад

@@KatieLHall-fy1hwconsider googling “narcissistic abuse”?

@tiannad777 Год назад

It sounds like he's delegated her to be the house manager and forces her to carry the mental load of planning and executing all plans & he's upset that he isn't included in things he isn't including himself in. If he really wanted the water bottles so badly, he could have gotten them this once. Or why does she have to tell him they kids keep losing the bottles. He has two eyes, and if she's intelligent enough to notice the kids keep losing them, which is costing money, and she can recognize there needs to be a new plan, why isn't he capable of recognizing that too? Why does she need to baby him evey step of the way?

@tiannad777 Год назад

She isn't saying it out loud because she shouldn't have to do all the mental and physical work on her own. If he can notice that the kids need more pants and he has enough time to say something to her, then he has enough time go to pants shopping for the kids at least once. Like it sounds like he notices things and doesn't take the initiative to do anything about it because all the responsibility of mental and physical load of the tasks are assumed onto her.

@tiannad777 Год назад

Even asking her to take responsibility for him yelling, she has to be the one to stop it, she has to be the one to walk away, when he's an adult too and if he wants to be regarded as the "man" or "leader" of the household then he needs to step up and like it and not yell at women and children, but he never will if she keeps taking responsibility for everything and being the one to lead every situation. Like she has to be the man and the woman of the household even though she has a "man".

@dhritikapoor2897 Год назад

Hmmm. My husband is like that . He says the same thing - “ I was thinking about it . I just didn’t say it out loud”. I used to think he was just making excuses. Well, he has changed for the better and is more expressive .

@DogmaGirlAD Год назад

My husband and I send each other text messages of things that we will need to coordinate together later. This way the other person has a heads-up and doesn't feel like they are Having to deal with a thing while they're in the middle of dealing with a whole bunch of other things. We can decide to the list of things to deal with at a time that makes sense for something to be handled. Some things just get a quick text back and we're good to go. But other things this is just the start of a conversation that is typically finished when we are face-to-face and if necessary after the kids are in bed.

@tashasmith1743 Год назад

We set aside time after dinner to talk and share. I do like the quick text because it has no emotion related. I don't expect you to solve this right now, rather I'm informing you.

@GoebbelsWife Год назад

This helped me too. I dont communicate with my husband when he upset me based on previous relationships. I just think im overreacting and keep silent because thats what i was told

@xavier7666 12 дней назад

Times the other person has actually been laughing when John reassures them than he’s laughing with them = zero.

@Nah-ah Год назад

Ahhhh… the good ol “what have you been doing all day?” rhetoric lol! The caller is expected to have everything mint from household chores to kids meals to kids clothes and WATER BOTTLES, organised and is a little scared to voice her opinion. If you flip the roles, it’d be like the woman expecting her man to get all the bills paid on the time and just demanding all the financial aspects taken care of straightaway. My only advice is when a lot of women “over communicate” it becomes nagging! Id take note of feedback to see if is 😅

@bettymagsam3048 8 месяцев назад

Thank u Dr John for addressing this in such a way I get it. I am the one who feels there’s not enough communication between me and my husband. He has said he feels I don’t give him a voice. He’s also said my tone shuts him down. Immediately I think to myself well u chose to marry me knowing this. Why is it my job to change my behavior and not yours? I get so defensive when he puts the blame on me. I need more help understanding this.

@bunniewood 8 месяцев назад

Your attitude doesn’t sound healthy or supportive but you are very self aware which is great.

@CarolynnMarkey Год назад

my husband and I have this issue. I am a type A girl who was raised by a single mom (so she made all the decisions) And sometimes it is hard to find words to describe what I want to do... especially since he works so much! I am bad at communicating but so is my husband in different ways :) we are working on it. He gets mad when I communicate.......and I have to point this out to him. it's hard to communicate when the person you talk to gets upset!

@carlywhybrow6027 Год назад

I'd like to know the suggestion here if the partner follows you out of the room and keeps on going on and on when you've tried to disengage? What can you do when there's no space in your house to retreat to because the partner is determined to prove they're 'right'

@jackcoleman5955 Год назад

Hi Carly WB. I used to do this to my poor wife. She divorced me and I’m sure this very awful behavior was a major reason. I wanted to engage/solve something so bad, but she was tired/hurt/done. I would often follow her back into the bedroom to try to keep talking, and it really hurt and scared her. No safe place in our home. I would encourage you to do what John suggests - calm clear boundary to take a break - you do NOT deserve to be yelled at/disrespected/dragged. BUT, I would also make sure to reconnect with him as a person/friend/wife afterwards. For myself, I was really hurting/lonely behind the anger over the stupid thing. Also, she took to ‘punishing’ me for raising my voice/sarcasm by disengaging fully for 1/2 day, days, or longer. This caused a terrible spiral of me DESPERATELY pursuing her for affection and trying to ‘solve’ random things. God bless you.

@kellharris2491 Год назад

@@jackcoleman5955 I am glad that you can recognize this. I think men don't realize how intimidating they can be sometimes. Men are a lot larger and some are more, "dominant" or agressive in manner and speech. While some women are just more "submissive" or cowed by this type of behavior. It may sound strange but we are animals too and react to social ques. We really aren't that much different then dogs in that way. At the same time it must be frustrating and feel hurtful for men when their wife, or partner is shuting down, or shying away when you would never hurt them. (Of course some men do act this way on purpose.) And then since the woman doesn't really feel safe or comfortable not much sex ends up happening. Why would she want intimacy when she if the furthest from feeling loved and respected? And then the Man is even more hurt because he feels rejected when wife doesn't want him sexually. This makes him more aggrivated. And her more anxious. And then it's just like a repeting downward cycle of miscommunication. The thing is though it comes down to trust. Trust is something that has to be earned and maintained. Sure sometimes people have hangups that they need to work through. But if you find yourself as the more 'agressive' or "dominant" partner you may need to work on how you comunicate and express yourself. Exspecially in arguments. You can't change your partner you can only change yourself.

@cassiesheart3012 4 месяца назад

Really interesting there could be more to this but also I understand this and for me it’s simply that I am a super busy stay at home mom managing the home and I’m the only adult home until my husband is here…what I’m saying is that all day long I have internal dialogue with myself about what I need to do. ALSO I have processes in place for what the kids need, house hold items etc and my husband is so busy with his own responsibilities that sometimes it feels really hard to explain all my little systems and processes to someone that does know if that makes sense. And my husband is very involved father and husband but it’s these little things that in my head don’t seem necessary to share.

@HwayVision 3 месяца назад

This is my exact situation with my lady i would love a follow up on this situation. Its such an insane struggle

@joanb4456 8 месяцев назад

Can you make that a relationship workbook for couples. I've been married over 20 years and would need help with that communication. Having a workbook for both of us to look at would definitely help that part of my relationship.

@lauraedgeworth6719 3 месяца назад

This is not a problem.

@HwayVision 3 месяца назад

Since i am in this same situation i will update you on how it is. My lady doesnt feel safe but doesnt know it yet. Whether its me or something in her past its my job to make a enviornment for her to be safe and its her job to not disappear, she just needs to try. I hope it gets better with us because this issue is so debilitating and it moves to shifting blame rather than communicating. Only diff in my situation my lady gets vehemently angry when im being kind but when she antagonizes me and finally gets me we switch roles. John is right the lady doesnt want to do what the man is asking and trying to find an alternative to doing it.

@susiesuh1418 4 месяца назад

Yes, there is a communication problem because she is inarticulate. I feel for her husband. I tell my husband to please do the dishes while I feed the baby. He does it. I don’t say “um, can you help me out here?” It’s too vague for guys. They want to help, just be clear about it.

@sometime.somewhere Год назад

I'm not sure why the love language angle was continued, because to me it is nothing to do with that - good communication is the bare minimum to keep things going, because you can communicate well with people you don't love. This seemed purely about logistical communication

@christinegreen3974 Год назад

I guess I have a different take on this call. I feel like the husband might be gaslighting her and she just has no idea whether to zig or zag. He sounds like one of those people who has to twist everything to the point where you have no idea what to say that is going to avoid a confrontation, so you just don't say anything. But, that's an issue too because you're not saying anything. Her whole water bottle example might sound ridiculous, but these are the petty little issues that become huge with a gaslighter. It's very difficult to describe interactions with a gaslighter, so it become a series of these little examples that you try to use to make the point. I had a "supervisor" like this. There's no way to work things with a person like that.

@user-he6rs8xi7u Год назад

She doesn't talk. Did you listen?

@jacinta508 Год назад

💯 Dr. John is spot on with this one. She sounds like she doesn't even want to try. Maybe the husband could use more patience (we don't know), but she sounds like a hum drum brick wall to try to manage a life with. It would be infuriating to bring up a concern or voice a need and the one person who is supposed to have your back and be on your team goes, "ok" and then dead air.....🤯😵 Some people need to have a plan and know their partner is on board. I like to have a plan for everything with details and updates. I require alot of talking things out, both the plan for the day and the 5-10 year life plan. It's a very important need for me or it's not a safe relationship. I don't want to micromanage anything, I want to know you share my concerns or goals and that you have my back. I want to feel safe in that by knowing exactly how things are going on your end. I'll reciprocate 100%. I think everyone out there that thinks the problem is over a water bottle could not be more wrong. 1000% guarantee she can't make a plan or discuss any kind of goals with him no matter what the importance level is. And I bet she chose to give the water bottle and jeans example because it not only made him look a little silly, but it's probably the only example she can remember because its the one she felt personally called out on. How do you meet your partners needs or get your own needs met if you can't discuss it?

@mzchelle7769 Год назад

I think you are so spot on! My husband is exactly like this caller and it feels like living with a sandbag. I can imagine her husband yells because he is just so tired of not being able to rely on her. Most likely there are other needs of his that she is not meeting…

@alqoshgirl 6 месяцев назад

Right. Ahe sounds like a nightmare. Hilarious to see everyone commenting how relatable she is. So concerning that so many people live their life like this. What a nightmare. And she has the audacity to blame the husband?

@claudeyaz 19 дней назад

I think she is like "ok if it needs done..do it..don't tell me while I'm in the middle of something espe condescendingly." Maybe?

@shipperz88 29 дней назад

I love being single

@dianethompson6804 5 месяцев назад

The first lady sounds like the husband is criticizing her when he says kids need new water bottles or new jeans

@judithzoe204 2 месяца назад

when i try to walk away from a conversation when my husband is being abusive to me he follows me or wont let me leave the room and he says im disrespecting him

@vickimerritt2832 Год назад

he is micromanaging her, and minor gaslighting her as clueless

@vickimerritt2832 Год назад

dude see himself as her CEO subtle gaslighting

@vickimerritt2832 Год назад

bingo! Dr,

@normantheforeman9866 Год назад

Maybe they gotta hammer out the budget better. Sounds like it’s a frugality thing vs “we gotta get more water bottles now!” Because men try to fix things

@inspiteofbecauseof4745 Год назад

My opinion; she wants the kids to learn to be responsible for their water bottles. He sees/thinks well, they don’t have them, so let’s gets some. They’re both right - kids need to learn to be responsible yet they need water bottles for school, sports etc.

@anissaholmes4495 8 месяцев назад

He’s critical and ungrateful. Unwilling to lighten the load for his wife. Not a team mate. Employer/ employee relationship

@kylemedeiros6907 Год назад

i can always tell when John is burnt out

@pvn0369 Год назад

Hate to say it but you're off of this one again buddy.

@haileysmith6506 Год назад

Yeah he said a couple weeks ago on IG live the calls were starting to effect him emotionally and he thinks it due to all the travel, shows, his new book he is doing, and the overall life responsibilities of 2 young kids and a wife.

@BarelyNoticedADD Год назад

Some people are just loud. I am one of them. If I don't feel like my words are getting through, or I get excited, I get loud. I also need clear assignments.

@jamalcole1985 Год назад

Whenever I hear a woman stating "I feel like" I instantly believe it's based on emotions, without logically addressing the problem.

@FlaqkoGTA Год назад

Toxic. Hear what your girl has to say man. Even if it's not logical. What I learned is part of being married is doing dumb stuff but it makes her happy.

@KatieLHall-fy1hw Год назад

Just because they use “I feel” doesn’t mean there isn’t a logical problem. Remember, ladies usually soften the blow (for whatever reasons)

@vickimerritt2832 9 месяцев назад

Logic says he sees a problem he fixes it, himself.

@nt3833 Год назад

Just listening to this call I can see why there is an issue haha. She didn’t even directly communicate what the issue is… I can empathize a little though. My husband complains about my lack of communication. I admit I can be sort of lazy with communication. Or sometimes I just want to do things my way and don’t want his input ;)

@kellharris2491 Год назад

She has a timid personality and is easily overpowerd verbally. Very nonconfrontational. She needs to gain more confidence, but she also needs a partner willing to be very patient and an active listener.

@JustActNormal Год назад

She's un organized and has add I'm the same. When I'm good I clean the house and cook and do my make up and act like wonder woman. When I'm off base I can get unorganized and lazy

@thembisaodendaal Год назад

It sounds like a great thing for s man to seek out communication. He sounds like a husband who is involved.i still do t understand where is the problem

@zacknelson8918 Год назад

She is 100% the problem,,he is saying we need this or that, she doesnt respond, and in her head she wants to solve the problem with out him, and she doesnt want him involved. Thays why he gets angry over it! She needs to respond and communicate

@vickimerritt2832 Год назад

he is blaming her for their kid careless. bet he razzes her about any spending unless he ordains it

@ryansack5198 Месяц назад

I can’t imagine being with such a fragile partner

@ryansack5198 Месяц назад

She’s not making any sense. I get emotionally immature and bot self aware vibes

@MothraVsTheWorld 11 месяцев назад

This lady needs to learn communication skills from the very basics.

@tazziemae4705 Год назад

talking makes me tired.

@natashaj9169 3 месяца назад

Hes asking you to communicate but tell him to stop being patronising and raising his voice.

@divinelyshpongled 2 месяца назад

This is EXACTLY my problem with my wife. She just doesn't communicate. Doesn't involve me in her plans. eg. she travels and there's no message when boarding, no message when arrives, no updates during the trip, no calls.. just total separation. It's so fkn painful to be part of.

@thejakelegion Год назад

I think John got more hostile toward the husband than was necessary. She didn't make him sound like a total psycho, but John started treating him like an abusive husband. Nice.

@orphansparrow2 Год назад

Did you listen to the whole thing? He literally said he thought the husband was being reasonable in his requests. He was just throwing out options to see if he was abusive to try to understand the situation.

@leapheap6837 Год назад

This relationship is in the danger zone. Communication is key to a successful marriage.

@libertyna933 7 месяцев назад

Are these people calling from the 1950's?? Wth No guy is going to be yelling at me about anything sorry. Go buy more bottles yourself.

@amiramahgoub 9 месяцев назад

Can you stop yelling? Simply said

@elainenilsson5472 Год назад

Why exactly do kids have to have water bottles? lol...I never had one.

@sweetstorm7652 Год назад

Most likely, the parents don’t want him to drink dirty tapwater.

@elainenilsson5472 Год назад

@@sweetstorm7652 My GOD...my parents drank it, I drank it, we all lived to ripe old ages...but hey, buy the kids more candy because it's safe.

@evansutton6760 Год назад

The caller is from Flint, MI That says it all

@Globewanderer000 Год назад

They live in Flint. Have you just crawled out from a rock?

@thejakelegion Год назад

I never had water bottles growing up but my wife bought 4 bottles for our 4 little kids because it's FAR easier to have the boys crawl into the van carrying their own bottles than it is to find water when you're out and about. P.S. We've never lost a single bottle.

@elainenilsson5472 Год назад

She doesn't say her thought process because she doesn't. I get it. I don't either. I will take care of it, check back later. He doesn't need her to speak her thought process. She can get things done much faster, multitasking, if she doesn't have to talk about it. Just do it.

@Daim_0nic Год назад

I don’t see how that would be helpful or useful in a partnered relationship where two people are responsible for the same household/family/priorities. You think that you should just do things without communicating to your partner?

@elainenilsson5472 Год назад

@@Daim_0nic It doesn't take 2 people to get water bottles or pants.

@bonjoursophie Год назад

@@elainenilsson5472 That's not the point. Their main issue is lack of communication in general, and it's coming from her end. Her husband has been direct and clear with his request, which is more than reasonable. And she can't get herself to do it. I don't want to say she's strange. There is probably something from her past or an underlying psych issue that prevents her from doing so.

@elainenilsson5472 Год назад

@@bonjoursophie Then let him go get the pants and please don't bogg me down with the flippin details. Seriously, handle it!

@elainenilsson5472 Год назад

@@bonjoursophie Perhaps she gave some bad examples, lol

@jwise7777 Год назад

I hate all this love language stuff! Lol. Stick with astrology.

@giveme24hrs72 Год назад

Lol

@chrismm6886 Год назад

😂😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

@bettymagsam3048 8 месяцев назад

U are listening to the wrong show … a lot of us need to hear this and I’m thankful for his show and all the callers

@loezakidd3149 Год назад

First

@elainepatterson5587 Год назад

She's a whiner. Back in the day we didn't have 35 water bottles everywhere...or lost. Find the bottles, tell him you need money for new kids clothes and do it. If that doesn't work, do it yourself or get out. But for all that is good and lovely, stop whining.

@theshunnedBandersnatch Год назад

She lives in Flint, Michigan. The waterbottles are likely a necessity.

@Plooky1969 Год назад

I use the Cozi app (free version). Both my husband and I can add to lists there. It makes it so much easier. Instead of scolding her, which it sounds like he does, use technology and solve the issue. It keeps communication much cleaner.