I'm childfree by choice: 10 reasons I'm not having kids 

And parents who are equipped, capable in every way

Glad to see another childfree human! Thanks for stopping by :)

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Yeah bro; I’m 49 years old. I have no wife; nor kids; it’s fucking awesome 😎

41, bisexual in a same sex relationship. Never having kids or adopting kids. 😎

brilliant, enjoy your life

There are many immigrant women where I am and they have many children. All the ones I see who are older than 50 (I think) can barely walk. They shuffle along ten metres behind their husbands. They also seem to have a lot of health problems like diabetes. Having too many kids can ruin your ability to be mobile. Being mobile as we age is very important. Birthing out kids can ruin your pelvic floor. Not being incontinent is important to me.

​@@mmecharlotte it's actually the opposite

Yeah, was awful watching my father die just after my thirtieth birthday. For months afterwards, every time I closed my eyes I would see him in his final hours and it was heartbreaking. Do miss him but watching someone die is incredibly tough and the whole ‘who will be there at your deathbed’ fear tactic is totally random. Actively dying is not a spectator sport and especially not for small children to witness.

That’s about the age I figured it out as well. Yeah sounds like they found out! Now you have so much time for yourself :)

😂😂😂😂

No meaning

@@roxy629 In your eyes, but I found purpose outside of that, thank you very much. 😂👍

It's alright while your young but as you age you realise the value of family

@@Jonnyicey I'm in early 40s, I can't let go of my peace, quiet and freedom.

​@@roxy629Roxy, why does anyone need kids to feel fulfilled or a wife? Ever hear of having a girlfriend?

Woo that's awesome! 🙌

@@jansleyreal you’ll be surprised how many people our age have decided to live a child free life. All my friends are 38-50 and none of them have any kids. I think many in this generation have really figured that there ain’t nothing positive about having kids with the crazy bs going on and this economy. People complaint about stress, about having difficulty making ends meet bring a child into the mix and it will get even worse. The little time I have is for me to enjoy the way I want. I am already here and that is all that matters to me!!! Throughout this past years I have seen so many people from work getting married and getting divorced, now there are a bunch of single mothers dealing with child support. I actual don’t know how do they get by in this economy. I admire them. I am not trying to be any of that. Just don’t care for it. Peace and silence have more value to me than anything else.

@@ariesqueenofswords7935I look up to you 😍🙌🏻

Hell yeah, glad to hear!

@@jansleyreal So she/he became childfree at the age of 21? Did you lose a child or something? WTF...

​@HowlingFantods 😂 shit dont sound right.

​@@HowlingFantodsit definitely doesn't add up 😂

@@HowlingFantodsSounds more like she made the conscious decision to never have kids when she was 21, and has held a child free stance for 13 years, with no regrets. Not sure where the confusion is it’s quite simple

Thank you so much, I’m loving the freedom! 😁

Yay fellow childfree human! I’m glad you’re enjoying your decision and are able to pursue life in a way that’s meaningful to you 🙂

Soo happy for you

To be fair, if you look at the past, they had it way worse in regards to family and kids. We've never lived in a better world, so I find this a rather illogical reason not to have kids. However I myself am not having kids too, but that's because of other reasons

So true, enjoy your life on your own terms!

Thank you, and yes exactly!

Yep, that’s a very good point. I definitely know some parents who clearly have some regret with having kids

That’s a very good point, thanks for sharing this, and for your service in healthcare :)

Do you regret not having children? Am asking because I am thinking of doing the same

@@chuachua-hj9zd I love kids, but I am glad I did not have children of my own. It would have been too much for me. It really is a huge responsibility and I take my responsibilities seriously. For example, I have an older cat (almost 16 yrs). I am up at night every two hours with her because she is very thirsty and needs to drink water. (She has dementia so she doesn't drink on her own.) I can be there for my cat, but I knew I couldn't do this for a child (it would be too much for me). To have a child, you really need a very supportive partner (and supportive extended family) and raising kids becomes the center of your life. Plus, my childhood was very dark and challenging and I needed time to recover from that. I did not want to pass that on to children of my own. With all this said, I may adopt a teenager in the future if it makes sense to do so. Right now, I started a consulting business and if I am successful, perhaps in the future, I can adopt a 15-17 year old, which makes the most sense because everyone wants a baby and not a teenager. All the best to you with your decision.

Thank you for sharing this. This has by far been the most backlash I’ve gotten on a video. It’s kinda interesting actually. The video is really meant for those who feel like they “need” to have kids to fulfill some expectation or life script. Or even for those who also want to be childfree and want to know they are not alone :)

@@jansleyreal You're welcome, I definitely loved the video! Don't let the haters get you down, the video wasn't meant for them anyways.

One of the biggest kept secrets is most kids are accidents. Very few actually plan their children. It just kind of happens. And then they bear the burden.

Makes sense, I know I’m not committed to the idea even 10% so that’s why I made my decision. I appreciate you :)

I can't imagine being tied down with 3 kids

Yeah some people are definitely not fit to be parents, and it's a shame for the kid

Well said Anna! Thanks for stopping by :)

Yeah that sounds difficult for your mom, kudos to you for being childfree

The world is less violent than centuries past but white people won’t let anyone feel that because it’s not satisfying to ruin the climate without everyone else feeling crappy too. Also, don’t speak for me. As a Black woman in America...I just don’t particularly desire to carry a child nor be responsible for it as a parent in any capacity. We are not all having the same experiences though for you to loop us in together because BW who do want kids have to consider medical racism that kills us more than other group when pregnancy is involved, climate change we aren’t driving but suffer for via environmental racism when white people’s(richer mostly Spanish Hispanics and certain East Asians too tbh but it’s white supremacy based), landfills are placed by our homes to pollute the air causing youth to have skin and respiratory issues lifelong(if not ruin our water from river dumping rural white towns do that drains into mostly Black cities like Jackson), and the assault against our existence by police, systemic/institutionalized racism unaddressed, and now schools even banning our books, lessons on race, and some wanting the little bit of history they tell about us besides segregation(slavery that they lie about being gone as if the thirteenth amendment doesn’t clearly state it’s not) off school curriculum. Now I personally hope that drives the more baby loving to make even more of us and fight the system but I also totally understand not wanting to risk one’s life or their child’s for that effort. I’ve had medical racism affect me in literal life or death situations more than a couple times. Can’t imagine doing it in a situation where the body is already trying to accommodate another life form. There is no American woman and white women’s voting habits make that very clear, as do white Latinx women’s, and more AA women than I care for even if overall they still vote blue(it all sucks but don’t actively hate yourself for goodness sake)

But the world isn’t bad, and often you’ll find the places struggling have a western source to thank so is the world becoming bad or is just suffering consequences of white imperialism/colonialism that’s ongoing in many cases and never fixed its mess before leaving in others? Like Afghanistan, how dare our CIA ruin their democracy for a power foothold in the area when it was more central, then desert them because “bring home our troops”? Well maybe people signed up for what they did and we shouldn’t interfere if we don’t want to partake when the getting is no longer good. From a society of people living alongside each other how they chose to women not being able to leave their homes or abusive relationships, because our leaders couldn’t stand the idea of a democratically elected communist. Remember these things when saying the world is getting bad as you live safely and Palestinians die because of something British/US forces started and the US is literally participating in. It’s not the world. It’s certain areas that you don’t have to worry about anyway, that are just blooming with conflict from seeds planted long ago, while you say meaningless things and don’t hold your government accountable for their actions in the mess

As a woman in America why is it someone else's responsibility to pay for your child? Why should your neighbors be taxed so you can have their money?

YOU SOUND LIKE THE ULTIMATE FREELOADER

⁠@@youtubesucks1499those children pay for other people’s pensions so I’m not sure who’s using who here.

These are respectable reasons, glad you have no regrets! :)

I know the struggle of figuring out a life path, it's been one of the biggest things that has haunted me in the past few years. Gaining more clarity each week though! Hope you are too :)

​@@jansleyreal And I don't think the process will ever really stop! Which sounds depressing, but I think we can all dedicate small pockets of time to improving ourselves in the tiniest ways every day. I believe we'll all be okay in the end as long as we keep reflecting and taking small actions towards figuring out what brings us fulfilment, and just trying to practice empathy and patience for others around us too.

I lived with my parents until I was 30, I think it’s definitely more common these days anyway. And yes, enjoy your freedom! Life is too short to live it under some societal script.

Woo welcome to the childfree club! 🙌

Good to know travel is still doable with kids! Sounds like you all are doing it right, cheers!

I hear you on that haha

What if you had children and they were healthy? I had this same fear and reasons as well to have this fear. Our Fears are not always true and you should always challenge your mindset and say hey what if my child is healthy?

@@SimplyTakara89 i think it’s because my fear of having an unhealthy child far exceeds my desire to have a healthy child. With a healthy child, I feel that my well-being will only improve slightly. But with an unhealthy child, i think my well-being will go be significantly be hampered

That means you let fear win. It’s so relatable growing up I was told I was a scaredy cat and worried about everything all the time (I still worry too much, working on that). I hate fear because it can be so detrimental to us, fear stopped me from alot of experiences and when I choose to go against fear the greatest things happened as well! I carry the sickle cell trait, if my husband also carried the trait my kids would have the full blown disease. I also carry something else I forget the name but they told me if my husband also carried it my children wouldn’t even really been able to be born something about organs getting to large causing miscarriages well anyway he doesn’t carry any genetics I carry. God is powerful both my children are healthy and like I said my husband carries none of the harmful genes I carry. I also lost my mom 1 month after my daughter was born so yes there’s a lot of fears but fears don’t mean truths…

Apparently we do have quite a bit in common! And yeah, that is a real fear, for sure.

Yep autistic kids are hard! I work with some of them. Makes me not want to have kids I'm good with them there because I work in classroom and have the teacher and the other support services. I could not imagine dealing with that at home. Makes it a lot easier to deal with them when I do my daily gym sessions after work gets rid of the stress. If I had a kid after work I couldn't go to the gym like that. I truly love being childfree.

I was 30 when I got it done. I didn’t get hassle from people I know because I didn’t tell anyone about it. The doc gave me no hassle, congratulated me actually haha. No regrets from me either!

thank you

Appreciate you stopping by! You are much more open minded than a lot of parents that have been flaming this video, so thank you for the breath of fresh air! I feel like neither path is right or wrong, just personal preference :)

@@jansleyreal I went through a really rough time having my son and have had to have many operations since and it has been a life changing event for me and I can’t have anymore children.. I love my son more than anything, obviously but my life would have been very different physical had I not had children.. I guess that probably helps me see it from both sides. I think it’s beautiful people being fulfilled without having to take that next step that society has created to be the “next step”. It’s a very interesting topic! 😊

That’s a really good point! Not really a trial period for parenthood haha

Very nice, all aboard the childfree train! 🚂

I'm glad you have no regrets, childfree life is great option for those who are willing to go against the grain :)

Thanks, appreciate you stopping by :)

Whatever your situation, glad the video helped you :)

Glad to hear that!

This a point of view I never considered, thanks for sharing this!

If you love life, then you're doing it right!

Giving birth is no joke!! Women have to prepare the best they can and white knuckle through it. I made it through one and thought I could never ever ever go through it again. Managed to do it one more time after a long long gap. My body STILL had muscle memory from the first experience! 90 of this man's fears will likely not come true. But I think if he is totally right that if he is content as is, he should totally do that! The real trick is when one partner wants a kid and the other doesn't

@@debra05 The ladies gotta be brave! Lol well at least you made it through. 😊 My partner doesn't want kids so I am good there. We rather save money to go on vacations often. 👍

That makes total sense why you wouldn’t want kids then. Great point about pets. I would definitely be open to getting a cat in the future 😁

I prefer plants, don't get the expensive of vets bills and hassle and expensive of finding someone reliable to look after pets

I don't relate.

Thank you 😁

Preach, some people definitely go into parenthood with rose colored glasses 🙌

Yep that's fair 😂

I'm not gonna lie, that's a very difficult scenario to be in. I'm not even going to pretend like I'm qualified to give advice here. What I will say, is differences in preferences on children is nearly impossible to compromise on. Either you're willing to have kids, or you're not. There's really no middle ground. If you have the ability to go to the relationship therapist, that would probably be the most reasonable step.

Oh wow, I didn’t know there was a day for that, how cool!

Very well said!

Thank you so much!

Yep, I feel that

🙌

I ain't no smooth brain :)

Never thought about it from that standpoint, but that makes sense!

You got a point there!

It's true !

Thank you! Yep absolutely no regrets from me :)

Woohoo! 🎉

Totally agree, i think people should serve something greater than themselves in some capacity. For some people that means having kids, for others like myself it means helping other people with whatever skills or abilities I am able to.

He was talking to Adam and Eve, because they were the only people on the planet at the time. He wasn’t commanding every person to have children. Even Jesus himself did not have children while he was on the earth.

My mental health is pretty great at the moment. I care for my basil plant, Herbert. He’s my son now.

Lol you don't need kids to learn these things

He doesn’t want kids. That is the whole point of this video.

@@sielorstout1213 point is...men can change their mind

@@sdothoward2743 Yes, and lots of people who do have kids change THEIR minds later too... when it's too late.

And blacks as well. You can thank the Jews.

Unfortunately

I wonder to whom it is supposed to be selfish? Towards someone who simply will not be born? I hate this accusation, as a childless woman I get such comments all the time. Egoistic are those who have kids just to have free care in their old age.

Probably, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be selfish with the thing I only have 1 of. As long as I’m serving and helping others in some capacity than it’s not a bad decision :)

There is no life lost, literally or in potential, until a human is born and safely taken its first breath. Before that even a pregnancy can be still born in late term for nothing related to the carrier. So it’s not selfish unless you’re saying people have to try their hardest to bring other humans into the world, those who can’t are failures or to be pitied regardless of how they feel, and that you value the idea of a human whose life quality you can’t predict, over a person here who may not be mentally or physically in the right place to have a child at any point. You’d rather that mom break her body down some more and a dad who never really wanted kids be an angry parent passing down traumas. And if this child existed then sure you can say better they’re here than nothing because they have a chance.....but nothing is nothing, and can’t be worried nor can anyone be egotistical by not bringing it about. Otherwise nuns, monks, and parents who have crippling genetic diseases they decide not to pass on are all egotistical. Either everyone should be having kids or it’s not essential. You did what you did or plan to do. Don’t place that on others because there is no actual concrete moral or ethical issue that you wouldn’t be basing in pure opinion about one not having kids. It’s not a human rights issue. People not conceived are not people. Really from a scientific point of view neither cell clumps but that’s another conversation. One is their own person once they start breathing and being able to intake food outside the body of another person. They’re you’re imagination and have no rights before then, and even that imagination is a false idea of people you know since the human mind can’t conceive of people we haven’t met in our mind’s eye. So really the question is useless and baseless.

Honestly being self aware you do not want kids and would not make a good parent, I believe it is selfless. The real egotistic people are those who want kids literally just to "pass on the bloodline"

isn't having a kid more egoistic when all the resource you give them could help the ones who are already on this planet instead and suffering? I have adopted cats from the street, and I feel making a kid instead of helping cats would be more egoistic. And why would it be egoistic anyway, you can't owe someone who doesn't exist. Do volunteer work, help the homeless, adopt a special needs kid instead, help those who are already here instead of spawning.

It really isn’t. There’s 8 billion people in the world and that will rise to 10 billion in a couple of decades. Which is actually the real worry since overpopulation is more damaging than underpopulation.

@@CactusCowboyDan this isn't true.

Even in China they are starting to struggle because all of their citizens are much older now without anyone to replace them.

@@EastElbow Yes it is in fact mathematically, scientifically and logically true. Don’t listen to people saying you should worry about population decline. Like Elon Musk.

@@CactusCowboyDan when all of the older individuals time come, there will not be enough people to fill in those spots. (China as well) Period. Look at the birthrates. Just because there are 8 billion people on the planet doesn't mean that number is going to stay that way. The fact that people have been having more and more abortions in recent years, not even bothering to have children and the infertility crisis we are also facing... that's going to bite us.

The childless are more thoughtful and reasonable than you, cope buddy

Just let nature take it's course, if people want to end their bloodline because of their own selfishness, its over for them in the end.

@@tandelta6843 saying you being selfish to birth your child because of your lineage and creating more problems for society to deal with. Also you say end the Bloodline like some childfree folks don't have sibling who continue it. Bro just leave with your selfishness🤣

@@tandelta6843 also life is about the impact and contribution YOU make, the legacy YOU leave. There's nothing selfless about having children.

@baristaz8834 humans solve problems, more humans less problems. Your issue is socialism and the state getting in the way. It is selfish to take and not provide. You will one day be useless and my kids will be made to take care of you. Selfishness .

Breed your own damn wage slaves.

Different problems in a different time are still hard. PS: It’s not selfish to know you don’t want kids.

Selfish to whom? People who don't exist? 😂

most of whom didnt have a choice, now we do, in honour of all our ancestors that had to procreate to survive, all the women who suffered horribly procreating against their will with terrible men , its finally arrived, the day we can afford to break the chain, the day we can stand up against the endless meat grinder called "society" that we feed with generation after generation of misery and suffering for the benefit of those who think themselves our betters, we snip our vas deferens in our ancestors honour! we get our tubal ligations in our ancestors honour! we defy morons with brainrot, that think birthing children into a world that is collapsing on all sides should be done due to some moronic obligation to our "lineage" as if thats a thing anyone should give half a rats anus about, IN OUR ANCESTORS HONOUR!!!!!!! o7 o7 o7 o7 o7 o7 o7 o7

No. A choice. No one is REQUIRED to have children.

There are gay dads 😢

Projecting much?

🪞

I feel like you have NO IDEA how much pushback child free people get. I have to justify myself again and again as a woman who doesn’t want kids, even though I’m a lesbian who would be looking at a very difficult and expensive conception journey at the very least. There are people who haven’t heard well thought out child free arguments and default swiftly to judgement. This video can help someone expand their viewpoint in a non-confrontational way where they don’t feel the need to argue/be correct. It can also help folks like myself who deals with a lot of disrespect from folks with kids, to help us accurately voice our positions in a concise way.

No, they are spreading awareness on the topic being informative. And to support other childfree folks bc yall be really insulting and pushing them into a corner for simply not wanting kids

Hardly. I never had kids and not once have I regretted it.

@@youtubesucks1499 I was talking about the dude who spent the time to make an entire six and a half minute video justifying his decision to not have childen to strangers on the internet. No one cares. Get a life since you have so much time to devote solely to yourself.

Because those who do shut them down all the time, so this is a push back. Because they want to be informative and bring up points that are important to consider that others can think of. I'm not gonna be childfree but watching vids like this opens my eyes to a lot and makes me think of my decision a lot more. And to communicate with other child free folks in the community. If a pro child person doesn't want to hear it, skip the vid. You complaining about it also sounds like a hard cope on ur end.

It is narcissistic behavior, for the sake of dopamine. That's why.

I’m tired of something so ridiculous popping up in my feed for no good reason, I’m complaining about that. Has nothing to do with coping, you just stole my line because you lack creativity. The fact that these people need an entire “community” focused solely on justifying their decisions is pathetic and says a lot about the underlying psychology if these people. If an amazing, beautiful woman had come into this man's life that made him happy and wanted to have a baby with him, I bet a million dollars he would have never sterilized himself. He can't be that happy with his life if he is making videos like this.

Haha it’s true! And thank you! :)