To Men Who Don't Want Kids... 

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk! Seriously though, life is complex and children for many people make up a huge part of their life. I've found people can be irrationally sensitive about this topic, and I want to restate, I mean no offence to anyone. Peace & Happiness!

Not being born into this world is the best gift a parent can give

I'm too selfish with my time, and I'm too introverted.

I love my non-existent children too much to bring them into this cruel world.

I’m 31, and I’ve noticed all my friends who have kids are unhealthy, miserable, drained constantly, have no freedom, could barely afford to live let alone travel, have mental Health issues, meanwhile I’m healthy, happy, growing everyday, having so many experiences, travel constantly, making new friends, new relationship, things are amazing without kids or the pressure to do so.. never feel guilty for what you want or don’t want.. own it.

no kids = more freedom, more money, more peace, less worries. Sounds amazing? Hell yeaaaa

I dont want kids but I dont know where to find a man who also doesn't want one but still want to get married. I just want a simple life, traveling and being in love with one man forever.

As a woman, the pressure is immense. So I feel everything you’re saying. 👌🏾❤️

Some of us are not meant to have children, or get married, basically raised families. Some of us are meant to be alone, and I am so tired of having to defend this! I am introverted and have always been this way. The disruption of my life has always come from going against my nature and follow what is constantly being marketed to us, by brothers, sisters, parents, society, etc.

More men should talk about this topic!!!!!!

Sometimes , I don`t even want myself to exist, let alone me + a child

Great video. I'm 43, never married, no children. I don't want them. I don't want to bring them into this cruel world.

I hate when people say “I want someone to care for me when I’m old “. They don’t think about circumstances of a child being born with disabilities that prevent them from caring for themselves let alone their parents. Children die before their parents. Sometimes children and parents don’t like each other… I appreciate your video.

34 and happily childfree. Having kids has never appealed to me and the world reaffirms that I'm making the right decision every day.

Im 60 and never regretted my choice to be CF. Its kept me young looking and stress free. Life isnt perfect for any of us but I'm grateful not to have the worry of what this world could do to my non existent children.

Its an illusion sold to people,that having kids make you happy but its a lie. You are enlightened to the truth. I respect that.

I'm a childfree 40 year old woman. It's refreshing to hear a coherent argument from a man. I've ended relatiiondhips over my decision to remain childfree. I've never given in! I work in education and off cycling/camping across europe in 3 weeks for a month 😊

My thoughts exactly. I'm not depressed or suicidal but I opted out of the procreation experience. Can't understand how people get background checks before getting a job, credit checked to buy a house, or a license to drive, but any idiot can have a kid without any proper preparation. Parenting classes should be mandatory for those who choose to make humans.

I decided to not have children, but my younger brother is getting a son. Im looking forward to be a dope ass uncle. The uncle that takes him to amusement parks, teach him skateboarding and videogames And as soon it starts crying i'll return it to my brother 😂

I would feel guilty to bring a child in this world.

I never wanted children, it was never something that I considered. I am married to my husband of 11 years and he doesn't want children either. I think I got lucky to have a spouse that felt the same way. We are very happy and we watch other couples who have children and they are MISERABLE, and wanting a divorce. It's sad. 😔

I’m renaming this video - “To People who don’t want kids...” I’m a woman and this speaks to me. Society is way harder on women for feeling this way. We need to normalize the child free by choice life style💪✌️

when I'm 50 and have done everything I want in life I think I'll adopt a teenager and give them every opportunity in life.

Salute to all the men out there who know what they want and stick to it unashamedly. I was convinced into having a kid, and regret it almost every day. Miss my old life.

the smarter a person is, the less they want children...

no one tells you how hard parenting is. they just tell you its a joy. they don't tell you how you might have to do it alone because your partner isn't happy in the relationship, cheats or whatever. They don't tell you you could be a single parent. they don't tell you you lose yourself in it. you are no longer "..." you just become "...'s mom"

A lot of people want people who don’t want kids to have this super in depth answer to why they don’t want them. But the fact of the matter is, simply not wanting kids is a valid reason. You can just not want them just because you don’t want to deal with them. Knowing and understanding that it’s a hard pass on kids is waaaayyy better than bringing a child in to the world that you don’t want.

I rather regret not having kids than regret having them. That's my simple explanation lol.

I'm starting to realize that I don't want kids.... I think it's going to ruin my current relationship but I have to be honest with myself.

I definitely wouldn't recommend life to anyone

We do live in a bit of a crazy time right now which is making people think a bit more about the pros and cons of having kids rather than just having kids because "it's what you do."

It’s refreshing to hear a man’s opinion on being childfree by choice.

Modern life is exhausting. We can’t afford kids anymore. Technology is surely making people worse. I feel the same about the future.

I had two pregnancy scares when I was 22. Knew immediately I wasn't cut out for fatherhood. Am oldest of four boys, and after youngest brother were two younger cousins that I ended up babysitting a lot during my teen years. By the time I finished high school I had done all the parenting I ever wanted to do. So, not wanting to press my luck, after having my second pregnancy scare resolved, I went and got a vasectomy. HUGE relief that pregnancy was off the table forever. My time and my life are mine. If that makes me selfish, so be it.

Having children is lifelong commitment not just a commitment from birth to 18 years old. If your child becomes ill or is born with a disability are you just going to abandon them? No, you have to take care of them.

36, single and childless. I’m not happy, but I doubt having a kid would make me happy. I never understood why there are some that would label me as selfish for not wanting children. To me it’s far more selfish to bring another life into an already overpopulated world just because it’s what YOU want. You’re doing it for you, not the kid. I’ve had a rough life wrought with physical and mental health issues. I don’t like people very much. I’m not the kind of person that should be having kids. I would just mess the kid up. And that’s okay. I don’t mind dying alone and leaving nothing behind. Because I’ll be dead. And one day the whole universe will be dead and nobody will remember anything. Humans are weird.

When I was younger I thought that I would give my child the happiness that I could never have, when I got older I realized that may only happen by not bringing them into this world.

Searched for this video to validate my feelings about not wanting kids. 😅

My reasons are straightfoward. I don't want kids because I'm an asocial hedonist. I care more about my career, hobbies, and enjoying life than raising some kid. I barely enjoy the company of people so I know for a fact I will not enjoy the company of children lol. I'd rather be traveling, having fun trying new things, and engaging in an interesting career.

I am 26 and do not want children. I love being a mental health counselor for children though. I get to help out the kids that are already here on this Earth. This fulfills my maternal instincts just fine. Then I get to go home to an adorable fur baby 🐕 I could not be any more happier with those decisions :)

I'm 38. I don't want kids. I don't like kids. I don't want to take care of kids. I want my time for me and whatever I want to do. I just don't have the love or patience to nurture another human.

The answer "I don't want to bring a child into this world" is the best answer and needs no extra explanation. No one asked me if I wanted to be born. If they had asked, I'd have said 'hell no'! I have suffered too much to recommend this experience called life to anyone.

I was dating this guy and his parents when they had his little brother knowing damn well they couldn’t afford it. Mother had baby fever because everyone at work was having kids. (Selfish decision). They had him, they actually ended up becoming homeless for while and had to move in with grandma. People who say I don’t want kids call me selfish. However what I just mentioned above is selfish in my opinion... having a kid knowing well that you can barely afford to feed them or let alone have a home is probably one of the most selfish things I’ve ever heard of. All in all don’t have kids for other people or for “status” reasons. This is selfish. Have a kid only because you want to and your mentally and financially capable. Don’t have kids for other people opinions.

Not wanting them is answer enough. It's not for everybody.

You don't need a reason. The fact that you don't want kids is reason enough to not bring a kid into the world. You don't want to have an unwanted kid.

I’ve never been crazy about kids. Even when I was a kid ..l didn’t particularly like other kids and babies have always made me uncomfortable. Being a young woman there’s too much pressure to have kids! Makes me crazy when strangers get nosy and take this decision so personally. 🙄 I don’t care if anyone else wants/ doesn’t want kids. They have a right to make the best choice for them. I didn’t give this much thought until about 6 years ago and I suddenly realized one day I never gave kids a thought ! I never saw myself as a mom and definitely cannot see myself being anyone’s mom ever. I want to get more tattoos, spend time on my hobbies.. this includes my job as a hairdresser, hiking, biking, sewing, yoga, hanging out with my dog, and being with my Boyfriend.. and he doesn’t want kids either 🤗

42, married, child-free. DINK FTW! I was never interested in having kids. It was never an internal debate or anything. I don't want horses or a hot air balloon, either.

I'm 44 and don't have children or a wife. I am a deep introvert, used to party a lot when I was young, had my fair share of relationships, I guess I'm retired from it all.

I wouldn't have done it if I had to repeat my life again! This is OVERWHELMING!

I've always been indifferent about having kids... I think I'm so selfish with my time and money, I couldn't imagine sharing it with someone else (that needs my time and money to survive... I wouldn't have any choice in the matter). I think as a male, it's much easier for you to speak about it and change your mind later. But for women, it can become a permanent decision even if we change our mind. Additionally, we get judged so much for not having kids...

End of day, you need to be a multimillionar to have kids. I agree!

"The best gift you can ever give to your children is not to have them in the first place." - Tinka

No children = more time to travel the world and enjoy life

Thank you for being so open and honest. I’m struggling with infertility and I’m searching deep down about my true motivation for motherhood. A lot of it, I fear, stems from family and societal expectation. More people need to talk about the other side! We are valid and our opinions matter too. Xo

Some of us just don't want them.

I agree with every thing you said, I'm turning 30 in a couple of months. I decided when i was 12-13 that i do not want kids. As a person who had to flee his country, experiencing wars, crimes, pandemics, and How this world is running, i'm now totally 100% positive that having kids and throw them in this life regardless of your financial, health situation is considered at least from my point of view kind of a crime.

Absolutely couldn’t agree more, very well said! I’m 29, and childfree! What did it for me was a psychologically abusive ex whom tried to pressure me into having a kid. She kept telling me her biological clock was running out, and I needed to add worth to my life by raising a family. I’ll never forget the night I decided to finally have a talk with her about not wanting a child. Before I had a chance to, she “suprised” me with a positive pregnancy test. God that was the most stressful month of my life, lots of sleepless nights. I did my best to make light of the situation, but it was pretty hard. To condense the story, she called me during my lunch break degrading me, and telling me how worthless of a man I am. I couldn’t figure out what I’d done, but later found out the pregnancy test was a false positive, which pissed her off. Words can’t describe the relief I had. Not only did I find the courage to finally leave that abusive relationship, I also got a second chance at happiness and freedom.

This is one of the best, most level headed explanation videos on being childfree that I have seen.

So there’s men out there who don’t want kids, got it. I need to meet a him. I want love and a marriage but I DO NOT want kids.

Yes, I want kids, because it's a natural urge, but it always feels great to know that my kids are safe where they are now, in nonexistence.

Having kids is expensive and ruins your body mind and spirit. PERIODT!

I completely agree with the entire video. People look at me weird when I say that having a kid is a selfish act. Not in a condescending way but when you ask people why they want kids, it starts with them. “I want...” I like my freedom and if you have nieces and nephews, it’s like being a second mom or dad but you can give them back when you want lol. We need more adults vocalizing why they don’t want kids or that they don’t like kids, it’s actually more normal than people like to admit. I’m good with getting married and enjoying my partner then the road ends for me. Good video 🙏🏽

When my best friend and I met she didn't want kids and I did. We were in our mid 20s. We got in relationships, mine failed and she got married. We are in our early 30s now, she has a 1 year old and I have been in a 3 year relationship, no kids and no desire to have any. I guess when I wanted kids I had a vision of a happy married life. Somehow that all changed through heart break and a new mindset. I got older, I got to know myself more and what I could and couldn't offer to a child. I am definitely one of those people that would want to give my kid everything I didn't have. I have realized that even as an adult with all the money in the world I wouldn't be able to give my children what I didn't have. My friend constantly pesters me about having kids, so much that I lied to her husband this weekend when he asked me if I wanted one. I think it's definitely an idea that can change in ones mind through age and time but it shouldn't be frowned upon to not want children.

What would the world look like if only those who really want children had children? That was a very good question.

People should ask questions before having children. Did you take the time to reflect on how your parents raised you? Did you think about your short term and long-term goals? Where do children fit into the life that YOU want for YOU? Are children something that you want to raise? Do you understand that children are to be raised to be independent adults and live their own lives? Do you know that children are NOT obligated to care for their elderly parents? Do you have trauma and family curses that you need to break? The list goes on, but one thing you would regret was never taking control of your own destiny.

Most parents do not reflect about the fact that having children is a serious decision that will impact their lives forever, for better or for worse, depending on how the child develops as a person within the family and in society. I believe that people who need freedom of choice, tranquility and time for themselves should rethink whether or not it’s really the right choice for them.

My GF wants kids someday and I'm not sure if we will stay together in the future because I don't.

As a female, I don't want a bf....gf or children. I rather be alone

I had a bad childhood. I live everyday day by day. Having a kid seems a million years from me

I had a co-worker, a strong healthy man only a year older (40 yrs) than me. He loved his kids but was always exhausted at work and all he wanted to do was sleep…I feel like being born in the mid 80’s was one of the last generations where it felt 100% natural for people to have kids

I’m not intetested in kids either. Getting into a decent paying job and putting a safe, secure roof over my head is more important to me at the moment. I still live at home, so I am in no position to even think of having a kid at all. Also I haven’t gotten a chance to live my own life yet, sucks 😡. I am also worried about the earths population and environment impact. Finally I don’t deal well with stress to well and often get anxious about things.

I already told my parents when I was 9 years old that I won't be having children. Eight years later I still hold on to what I had said

Im 41 i hate it when "friends and family tell me how much cash they spend on their kids, compared to my childless life style. Where i spend less or alot on myself "and save so much money"..

I'm really thankful to see parents being open about regretting having children. Instead of saying it's great. I'm sure for some it is, but they're usually not really honest on how they truly feel.

I feel you man. I feel the exact same way. As a woman who is 29, the societal pressure is there. I just broke up with a man with 2 children. We dated for just over a year and I really realized that path is not for me. After some healing I'd like to find a man who also does not want children. Dual income no kids. Traveling, outdoor adventures on weekends, lots of social time with friends, sleeping in on weekends, sounds great to me

I used to want kids and in a perfect world I’d still want them. But the reality of the world is it’s sadistic and cruel out here, I wouldn’t want to bring someone into this world and force them to deal with all of the negative possibilities in life

Having a child is selfish act. Hell even being human is inherently a selfish act within itself. Majority of parents have been putting their political or religious/personal beliefs before their kids for centuries but were selfish because we don’t want kids to abuse like that. Ridiculous at best🙄

i'm about to break up with the love of my life, it's been months since i forced myself about thinking that i might want a child. but i never wanted. and i can't force myself, neither force her. i always felt so different, in a bad way. because society makes you feel like this is normal and the only correct option. i'm about to break my heart, but i won't fail my desires, my freedom. Thanks for this video I felt a bit better about myself!

The thought of being a father scares me. I just can’t see myself taking up that much responsibility. I already enjoy my own space and having kids would be a nightmare for my introverted personality. Plus having kids is expensive and life is already expensive as it is.

I can tell you now as a 50 something year old guy, I still don’t regret deciding to be child free. And I don’t believe that decision will ever change.

i feel like having kids has always been selfish, but it's now more selfish than ever.

4:22 I'm about like you.. I can't see myself having a child.. The reasons I don't want a child is.... 1. I'm a peaceful person I'm a person that love quietness. 2. Having Children Cost when you have a child you have to make sure that child have what he/she needs food/shoes/clothes and as they get older they going to want more.. 3. You Wouldn't Be Able To Do What You Used To Do Leisure Time/On Your Own Time.. You can do it but it wouldn't be a everyday thing and it won't be like it was before. 3. Babies Can Throw You Off Sometimes babies are cute and they are amazing but they can be pretty annoying also and you have to know what your baby want. 4. I Love To Work And Work On Things you may not work like you used to when you have a baby the baby is not going to want you to work.. The baby is going to want his momma and dad around. Babies enjoy they mothers and fathers scents and they know who they mom and dad is.👍

When he said I’m not overly optimistic about the next 50 years of life..... THATS SO TRUE studies show that the bees will be fully extinct by 2050. So.. YUP

I feel like having a child is like a subset of a larger set of finding fulfillment in life. I believe people mainly have kids for few reason 1.To maintain their legacy and to show that you exist because they existed at some point in time 2.People consider children as a source of different kind of happiness which they never experienced before 3. Life is pretty boring at times, in old age and in mid-life too...that's why old age people want grandchildren so they pressurize their children to have them....that's how things work in India. 4. To find fulfillment or to expect that your child will do something in his life which can give you fulfillment. The solutions:- 1. Legacy is formed not by reproduction....even you may not know what was your grandfather's father's name, so with reproduction legacy is lost after 1/2 generation....legacy is always formed by the work you do on this planet...if you did something remarkably great instead of making babies then your legacy is maintained forever. 2. Happiness is something whose source lies inside you...it can't be outsourced...yes external factors are responsible but till a limited extend ....other than that you are the one responsible for you well being and happiness....children are definitely not the source, it's you who is the source. 3 & 4. Yes, Life is pretty boring, but I believe if you're working for a cause greater than yourself and are dedicated your life for others/for a greater cause, instead of limiting yourself and devoting your life towards raising a life, then that life would be full of contentment, happiness, and satisfaction. And when you dedicate your life for a greater cause then you won't face the feeling of being bored with life (since you will a lot to do not for yourself but for others, you will have a responsibility) or not being fullfilled.

Having children is bringing a non-consenting soul into this insane world. I agree with and respect your decision. I'm childfree for life by choice also.

I'm 21 and I don't want kids, I just generally feel uncomfortable around them and honestly because I don't think I'd be any good at being a parent. Didn't have the best example of what a Dad should be growing up so it kinda seeded the doubt and uncertainty and I don't think there's much point in committing to something this drastic if you aren't sure you even want it. I'd rather be the fun uncle who is usually off traveling the world and living life that shows up once in a while to takes my nieces and nephews on fun trips and spoil them rotten before sending them back to their parents 😂 And also I think most people need to learn the difference of simply not wanting children and just straight up hating them.

Finally someone whom I shares my sentiments 🥺 I literally just bumped into this video after having this conversation with a friend of mine. For me having kids makes no sense.

I will remain childless. This is why I consider people who choose to step-parent and adopt to be the very best of humanity.

I'll be 39 years old in August and it took me a long time to realize that they only reason I ever "wanted" kids was because my mother told me that's what I was supposed to do... get married to a man in the same religion she raised me in and have his children. She groomed me from a very young age to be able to take care of a home (cooking, cleaning, etc.) and she also said that I had to go to college, which I did. I have a BA and an MA. I am so disgusted by how manipulative our mothers can be. Especially when they themselves did not have a healthy marriage or know how to parent. I was raised in a two parent household but I believe that I likely would have been better off had my parents split instead. I do not want children for several reasons; one being that I have to break the generational curses that are attached to my family. My nieces and nephews are enough for me and I'd do anything for them but I have no desire to ever be pregnant, go through the changes that a baby puts your body through, then have a lifelong commitment to another human that will forever depend on you even when they are grown. I've been able to travel, live abroad, sleep in, watch whatever I want, have lazy days, spend my disposable income... all freely without having to stress about someone else depending on me for 100% of their needs and wants. This doesn't even include the emotional support that a child constantly needs. Anyway, I'm proud to know who I am and to be childfree for life. I hope I find a man to partner with who is also childfree and wants to be childfree for life with me. Thank you for this video. Peace and Blessings, everyone 💖.

My manager has one kid and he told me don't have kids. Plus I have a coworker who's is 65 and has a son with down syndrome. That is another big factor of not wanting kids because you have to take care of them completely for life.

Excellent! I'm a metaphysical artist and I love using my life to share my ideas with the world. Like everything, having children is a choice. My spouse and I have chosen not to have children (married 12 years), and we're extremely happy. We have the time, resources, and freedom to learn about consciousness and human existence on our own terms. I'm a soul/consciousness/identity, and I have rights! Don't ever let anyone force you to do things you don't want to do.

Thank you for being a voice for men who want to be childfree, because when I watch women talking about wanting to be childfree, I can relate and I don't feel so crazy :) I'm frustrated over the fact that people don't take us seriously when we say we don't want children. At work and at home (and at family gatherings when *those* used to be a thing...) I'm treated differently. Why is it socially acceptable to bring up such a private topic? What about people who are trying to conceive? I'm normally a shy person, but when people ask me "when are you and your man having kids?" I'm not afraid to shut them down. Not because I'm offended, but because they need to realize it's inappropriate to bring up such a sensitive subject! I'm not bothered by the questions because people are naturally curious. I'm bothered by the belittling that follows the questions. Thank you for reading my TedText.

Finally someone who feels like me. It felt like u were literally taking the words right out of my mouth

I’m so glad I clicked on this video. You put how I feel into words. Especially the first part, “I don’t know if I would recommend this conscious experience.” People think I’m crazy when I say things like that. It’s really comforting to hear someone else say it too.

There's so many reasons I don't want kids but it never gets easier explaining why. I wish people would just stop asking.

I thought guys that want to be childfree were mythical creature xD Hopefully I find a partner that wants to get marry but to be childfree.

I'm a guy, 26 and single and thankful to have no kids. My main reason for not wanting kids at this point in my life is entirely based on costs, free time, and my hobbies. That and the obvious fact I'm single, just simply keeps the idea out of my life right now. But even if I was dating someone, I feel that I would be able to continue my hobbies, have someone to share my free time with for traveling and meeting new people, and I would still be able to keep the idea of kids off my mind. The thought of someone I brought into this world could have me as their parent, upsets me. Because I believe I couldn't be the best parent I would want to be. It has not interested me for YEARS to ever have a child, while some people go years waiting for that part of their life with excitement. I don't have that, that passion for it. Probably because I have seen nearly a decade since Highschool, of no relationships, and how amazingly free I feel. For a while I have thought about this, and how miserable I might of been had I had a child, and not achieving my personal goals in life. So it's no surprise I think of it as an insult when someone tells me "you'll see someday, you say that now, but you'll have kids." It's like they want me to join their cult of happy-lives because they think I'm lonely and therefore sad, yet I'm only mad because just verbally assaulted my perfectly happy lifestyle by saying "I didn't do that so you need to change to join us parents, because we are "alone" in our struggles. I don't like how happy you are." Am I alone on this? Because I could go on 😂

I don’t care about lifes complexities , I just care that a child could have any life at all as we head towards an oligarchy or the constant threat of nuclear war yet again and a total loss of freedom because that’s what we face. . I don’t want to bring a child into the world who possibly could be trans or gay or a girl with no control over her own body. I’d worry for that child every day.. As many parents do now.

I get called selfish that I don't want kids but I do what makes me happy and not care what other people think.

I've never wanted children. Its a lot of responsibility that I never felt like I would be prepared for. Both my parents are dead and I'm the guardian of my little sister who Is 8 and who I love more than anyone else but I feel so overwhelmed at the moment. I went from having close to zero responsibility other than myself to having to raise a child on my own. Its really tough.