I'm Lying to My Wife About Our Money 

Hope you are good!

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce! I'm sure that it wasn't easy for you or her. Jesus loves you both! I hope that one day you can reconcile.

Sorry to hear about your divorce but I’m glad you took control of your destiny! Now you get to live and give like no one else!

Yes sir!!!!

Congrats!

💪🏾

Hopefully you’re not preaching that all women are bad because of a poor choice. I’m the financial wiz in my marriage and my husband loves me for it

@@SynterraSteen in a marraige whoever has the best skillset for a particular area should take control of that area. Good job financial wiz 💪🏾

Amen brother. Happily divorced for 10 years, couldn't deal with being broke anymore.

@@SynterraSteen what on earth would make you jump to that conclusion from my comment?!

Aww that was really sweet lol. It’s honestly totally awesome when a couple is on the same page on that very important aspect.

@@lillians.4384 Thank you 😊 we actually weren't on the same page in the beginning but with some healthy dialogue and convincing we got on the same page and went from $100k in debt to only $37k in 18 months 😁 almost debt free 😭

@@OurPhantasticLife congratulations!!! ❤️

After finding Dave Ramsey it took me 3 years to get us on the same page. A good part of it was how I was going about it. We have been on the plan for 8 months now and paid off close to $15,000 with $25,000 left. Getting on the same page was the hardest part of the baby steps for us so far.

@@andrewplucinski8453 same 😭 it took us 2-3 years as well but it's amazing when you're on the same page with your spouse but congratulations y'all are almost there!

But...the wife should be on-board. If not consequence have to happen

I was about to comment asking; if that's lying or just saving 😃 It's their money. Depends on the state I guess.

@@dustyacres I agree. I just don't think Dave needed to go so hard into. He was pretty mean.

Right I agree but at the same time everything he's doing will be wasted if he's constantly paying down the date but she keeps adding to the debt. It's like continually adding water to a sinking boat and eventually they'll both drown

Saul, neither do you!

That’s so great story. I (husband) was making most of the income in family and not intentionally but I was spending most of it on both of us. One day my wife called it out that we should be able to save more. This was in our late twenties. I didn’t know anything about budget nor investing. So she opened my eyes and got money under control for a bit of time, once I saw how much we could save for down payment in single year, I become. Excited more about making and investing money than spending. Now I’m the one researching and driving our wealth while she keeps an eye on me so I don’t go rouge haha.... no but we work together really well but a woman in family initiated it. An I’m grateful for it!

Good for you its hard to change someone's mind but then he seen the results of what you were doing and was like yea baby

I'm happy for you both

That’s amazing, it takes real strength of character to admit the way he was living needed to change for the better

I'm glad you got out of it. I hope you're much happier now.

Congrats on getting out!

That's what I'm doing right now...

Completely different situation to the caller though. Secret savings to get away from an abuser is actually justified.

Same.

It's not about permission, it's about being honest

Yes: she is the problem. Which is precisely why he has to tell her upfront that she cannot continue behaving like this. Keeping quiet only enables her wrongdoing.

He is sick of her spending

Mommy is right

People lie...or people change...

My ex wife hid her true personality for 6 years before she showed her true colors. Almost overnight she started blowing money, cheating, lying, and getting into drugs. Seriously, it took less than a month for her to go from a wonderful stay-home-mom of our 3 kids to blowing money to see her affair partner perform at night clubs and do drugs with her friends and lying about all of it. It wasn't until after I divorced her that her family told me this was nothing new for her, but they covered it up for her because they hoped she had changed for the better.

@@jutde I’m sorry to hear that. Hopefully she gets it together. I was a horrible husband to my Wife for 10 years,, she just deserved better and I just thank god everyday that she gave me a 2nd, 3rd, 4th chance to keep us and our family together. It’s truly what makes her an amazing person.

@@theGrayArea2 Happily divorced for almost 2 years now.

@@jutde Lmoa...as a female, I can attest that men like women that tell them what they want to hear or show them what they want to see. It's like their own kind of fairy tale😁

Reacting like a coward

@@burritobrosvideos8060 he's probably just scared to lose the marriage, as so many of the comments above suggest will happen

Correct-- but she has to stop.

It's called life...

@@NaNa-lt1po *lying

Because people are sneaky and usually not in it for the right reasons. It shouldn’t be that hard to be honest with the person you sleep next to

I agree. It is strange. People need to have crucial conversations about money, religion, child-rearing, and politics before getting married.

Are you married?

Sometimes it is better to just liquidate and start completely over, than stay involved with someone who is a train wreck with $$ and unwilling to change.

@@freshurb8963 Men: It's cheaper to keep her.

@@twincherry4958 How is it cheaper to stay with someone who burns money faster than you can make it?

@@mattt4183 That's a question for men.

@@twincherry4958 You're really leaning on the man makes the money woman spends it stereotype there. Back in the real world either partner can be fiscally irresponsible and it ain't in the responsible partners long term interests to ride it out.

Good point!

Everyone should have this.

Should be mandatory.

I was thinking exactly what you said. They are not living in the real world even with their so called awareness of shopping addictions and no Financial Literacy.

What was her a ha moment?

@Tyler Dunford Good job!

Praise the Lord, His grace filled the situation with you and your wife, and all is going well with your marriage and your finances. God bless you both!!

🤣🤣 same here

Lies will always catch up to you. Better to come clean about this lie.

You all aren’t paying attention you’re hardly learning

Yea man - I want a lot of young people (including younger me) to listen to the right way to handle life/money

I’m glad you did too. Like most incl Dave I learned the hard way but still survived 25+ yrs of spousal bliss LOL. Good to know some younger couples are more prepared for the roller coaster! Fun ride with right person! 😉

Lol, he will still have to disclose those accounts, if he doesn't the judge gonna smack his head.

I'll sell him some gold bullion and a shovel so he can hide his assets from the divorce courts

He saving for retirement....as in he gonna retire from this marriage and it be much easier with 20000$ cash that she don’t know about lol

All he has to say to the judge is casino and hookers, money is gone! Tough. If she spent big money on shopping, she would get a pass.

@@justinacase2623 my wife just bought a 1300$ phone so I cut her allowance this woman makes double my income but spends like going out of style so I had to take over her own money she was spending like 500$ a month on eating out and that’s without me going......crazy she is like how do I have so much money at the end of the month now I just roll my eyes

There needs to be balance. My wife and I are Millennials and are one of Hogan’s “Everyday Millionaires,” on baby step 7, living in San Diego, CA. I’ve realized that we have to enjoy life also.

I think it's fine if not everybody is on this path of "building wealth" , but at least pay your debt off (doesn't have to be lightning speed) and especially the freaking credit cards @ 20% interest!!

@@johnpham6780 how long have you been doing the plan?

@@SynterraSteen Hi Syn, my wife and I have been doing the plan for about 18 months. Cash flowed our wedding, then her school loans, two cars, and finally the mortgage. Lots of sacrifice, but well worth it.

Dave is right - they need to be on the same page and he needs to stop lying.

@@jimroscovius Yes on those two items but not so much on what I actually said. Perhaps you are responding to someone else.

+ Mike Is it enough to be a deal breaker ? And if so does your partner know you are willing to get a divorce over this ? Lieke in the foreseeable future. - I am not saying this lightly but some people have a hard time changing or do not want to change and bet on it that they don't have to if they are stubborn enough. That their partner will give up and resign themselves. I do not know of course what your disagreement is. I know one woman who asked her mand to step up regarding chores. She did all the housework while working full time (40 hours rather no overtime, and commute not too long - but still). She had raised 3 kids as single mom but they had moved out already (he was her second husband). Then she started an education on top and he insisted on not lifting a finger as he was used to. She had to spar a few rounds with him. No more cooking (for him) not doing his laundry only cleaning "her" part of the home (she told him what his side was), etc. That went on for a few weeks and then he gave in. They are still together and he in general is a good man (or she would not have him). both are now a retired couple. Both were raised with the idea that the wife does all the housework. Which admitted is a privilege and he was not going to give it up easily. She does not strike me as a nagger, and due to her traditional upbringing she was willing to spoil him for a long time and wait on him, but his unwillingness to support her when she needed help struck a chord, I think a sense of fairness was violated. He later said to her, that he did not believe she was serious. Boggles the mind that he is fond of her (I think he is, I have seen them together, maybe both have grown). He isn't a bad guy but he was selfish enough / stubborn enough in _this_ respect and was willing to defend his privilege with teeth and claws. She had to escalate, to the point where it was clear to him that their relationship of many years could end over this. Then, and only then he was willing to change. I think partners of addicted persons have the same challenge. They have to escalate, and as John Delony says, you need to have a: What if they say no. Or if the partner overspends - is the joy of spending more worth than staying in relationship (that is or _cold_ be good). Problem is if they can call your bluff because the partner knows you would not separate (too much in love, children, financial situation, religious reasons, etc).

from your user name I assume you are male. You could tell your partner that you go to counseling (solo, and of course you really go). Just to account for the time you are missing. And do not give a reason why ! (If partner is female she will of course pester you why you need counseling. Well, you do not tell her. On a good day she will assume that you are terminally ill, and on a bad that you have an affair. She is going to check your phone ). After a few solo sessions you then tell her you want marriage counseling. Then and in the presence of your referee (aka counselor) you tell her what you want. (No discussions before, I asume you went over that many times). Then you tell her what you want, and why it is so important: that may include your wish to do financial planning if that is your challenge. I would recommend not to use a pastor. It is O.K. if it costs money (that will drive home the message) If she is invested into the relationship you will have her attention. If you are not the type that does go to a therapist / counselor - all the better, all alarm bells will be ringing.

Mike. Same here. I gave up the financial ad my marriage is more important. Good news is she came around to getting pur finances right just 10 years later. Totally worth it.

He needs to get a backbone - or act like he has one.

That's a man in love

Backbone will not help one bit when she takes half.

Yes... Money In-Laws Religion Kids

@@ddfamf88 Good list and maybe add politics also to that.

Proactive planning ✅

? 😄 ?

That's a fun series to watch.

What's that about and why would his mind be blown?

@@willvice3998 Apparently you didn’t watch the entire video. There was a Lost in Space reference to where Dave Ramsey was saying that was something the new generation was not aware of. He didn’t appear to know there was a remake. Hence, his mind would be blown knowing that there is a newer version of the classic TV show

@@RMPANDA964 The current robot does not wave his arms and talk much either.

Glad to hear it.

well he is merely delaying it by being a coward half of his 401k aand everything at 34 is a fraction of half of everything at 50 so there is that.

It’s not that cut and dried. Statistics show that divorced woman suffrage financially more than divorced men. Better to work on gettin* on the same page about this before you get married!

"Half of his..." What is she, the maid and nanny he's sleeping with, or a life partner?

Hiding one thing tends to mean hiding other things.

Congrats. The thing I took from this is that it's a lot easier to make moves and be happy when you are debt free. I only got around 10k of student loans left so I hope I can one day make your statement

I agree, but there is always some people that refuse to listen, even after years of patience, some just require a more aggressive method.

@@joeairbender267 at that point, I’m thinking they’re just incompatible. Most healthy relationships don’t require one spouse throwing fits to get the other to listen.

I guess the word would be “assertive “

You're just scared of someone standing up to you

I agree, Dave rants on these shows I get that. In a marriage no one should be getting aggressive and telling the other person what’s going to happen. They need a heart to heart and set some goals as a couple or go to counseling to do it. Thankful that my husband and I are usually on the same page with money and has been a big reason we’ve been together for 25 years.

Dave said my thoughts exactly. Hes being soft.

I thought the entire premise of Dave's show is that it is normal to be in debt; but that your life will be better if you are abnormal and get out and stay out debt....

Absolutely.

Or just be upfront and make sure you’re on the same page

Syn Flowers IMO, you should not be blunt about gazelle intensity, I think most people are not receptive to this. Why not give it a month or two and see what progress you make, then bring it up at that point. I’d be much more receptive personally if my gf said she had already started paying down her debt then asked what I thought. It would show me she was serious

@@Austenfan177 Do you have experience in this or this hearsay? Were you married and now divorced as a result of the therapy? Just curious. Not judging you.

Exactly. And this overspending shrew has no intention of compromising.

That's why you counsel with a friend or someone from church for free. So they can go and blab it to everyone!

Absolutely! I was that friend. Now all 3 of us don’t speak to each other. I thought I was helping, but I ended up giving up on both of them.

I must agree, the friend then becomes a tool in the relationship, and the best people to be used as tools are those that get paid to be tools and have no concerns of friendship: it’s just another day at the office for them.

.... because the man is the one calling in for advice, he is asking Dave what HE should do. Everyone knows what the woman should do, the question is, what can the man do that would potentially help the woman do what we all know she should do.

because he is not stopping her