I'm not a warrior [CC] 

i like that she calls me a lovely person

This reminds me of something I saw recently, which said "Instead of telling disabled kids that they can do anything if they put their mind to it, we should tell them that the things they are capable of doing matter."

As a disabled person, I also hate when people are like ‘don’t make it your entire identity’. Well you made being a brat your entire identity, so let me live my life without having ignore parts of myself for your comfort.

I've never thought about it before, but the "warrior" narrative reminds me about why I hate healthcare workers being called "heroes". Both heroes and warriors deserve applauses.. but no real help, since wow, they're so strong! They are supposed to only count on themselves, so in case they fail it's just their fault for not trying hard enough... They are also supposed to be brave and suffer quietly without bothering the others. Yuk.

The warrior framing really started to bother me in the past couple of years. My mother passed away last August from Stage 4 breast cancer. The warrior attitude always seems to suggest that she just wasn't a strong enough person to fight the cancer that had spread to her brain and abdomen and was causing her intestines to twist. Whereas I saw a woman who would push through the pain and side effects of the chemo to keep living her life the way she wanted to. I have no idea how she could have 'fought' any harder.

"even if you put NO effort into today, you are still valid and awesome in my eyes". I,,, really needed that. I haven't been able to put energy into much the past,,, month?? I don't even remember time anymore 😅

oh my god I HATE the "you're such a fighter!! so strong, fighting the WAR against your disease!!1!" No, Sarah, I'm not fighting against my own body. Willpower and strength isn't going to change my genetics. It genuinely makes me feel so bad when people insinuate I should be "fighting", or working harder. I've tried so far to accept my illness and treat myself kindly. I'm trying just as hard as I need to be. 💓💓💓 I love you for making this video 💕💕

"A uniquely boring trauma" Wow, Jessica, you have such a poignant way with words. The bodies we inhabit are atypical ones and the language we use around them exhert their own affective forces on our relationships with them. With ourselves. I really appreciate your insight, energy, and vulnerability. Much Love

It's also quite disarming when you're somebody who isn't coping with being ill very well? I have people constantly annoyed at me for not "having a handle on it" and to just "chin up". Praising for everyone to be brave warrior also causes chronic illness specific ptsd (also known as the "Enduring Somatic Threat" subtype of ptsd) to go ignored. We're not allowed to fall apart because being sick is already "too much a burden". It's so dumb.

as someone who had a life altering injury i really hate the “you’re so strong!!” or “feel better” because i had no other option than to survive and feeling better isn’t an option

Honestly, I totally feel this as a young adult with cerebral palsy, anxiety, and depression. People often don’t realize how much this mindset doesn’t help anyone. These last couple days I’ve had to tell myself that it’s okay to be sad, confused, and in pain and today. Even my mom (who is currently disabled from cancer) tends to ascribe to this narrative of telling me to “get over” things like my anxiety and depression, and it’s a struggle...

Accepting reality is at the core of this issue. The entire "warrior" narrative exists to perpetuate the illusion of agency, where there is none. I believe most of the blame for this can be attributed to our modern society where more successful individuals are praised for their superior abilities and hard working ethics, when in fact majority of their success can be traced down to pure chance, like inheritance, healthy genes, powerful social circles, being at the right place at the right time, etc... Also, as a former computer graphics worker, I appreciate your tracking skills.

i really hated being told i was “so brave!” while going through cancer treatments. it’s not brave to try not to die. it’s just normal. now i’m “so strong!” for having chronic pain. and no, not really. i’m just living the only life i have.

One thing I really hate about using the language of war when describing illness is that it primes us for the idea of “acceptable losses.” I’m an American healthcare worker and I’m getting very sensitive to the battle terminology being used by our leadership because they are leaning *into* the fact that vulnerable folks and underrepresented folks and under protected workers will die and couching it in the language of casualties.

"because I have the energy levels of a very active slug" chronic fatigue life be like

People don’t like that I’ve been sick for 22 years. I hate the “Get well Soon” people.

“I have the energy levels of a very active slug” I have never related to something so much! 😂 I mean, the whole video is relatable tbh! xx

As a somewhat competitive person, I personally use the 'warrior' narrative to help me keep going, and also to acknowledge the uglier side of my illnesses. It's not always what I use, but its a tool in my kit and it's really interesting to see how it can NOT work, too!

I've had asthma long enough to class it as all my life, and the thing about asthma is you can't fight it, you can't war and battle against it, because that's how you end up not breathing. You have to work with it, know your limitations and not try to force yourself into situations that are dangerous for you. Even knowing that I still ended up trying to fight my CFS, mostly that was because I didn't know what was wrong with me and it took a long freaking time to discover what it was, but there was also this narrative of 'if I accept that I'm not well enough to do these things then I'll be loosing the battle, I have to push, I have to fight!' Which, of course, just exacerbates my illness.

When I'm having a bad mental health day, I really appreciate it when my boyfriend just listens to my needs. When he asks me to do something and I say "No, I can't today." he accepts that answer and make sure I'm doing ok and if I need anything. My family on the other hand don't really understand my limitations like at all. When I say I can't do something at that moment they just don't compute. Like I'm just too scared to try or they think I'm just trying to get out of doing something I don't wanna do. Some days I'm functional and some days I'm not, and this is a lesson I've had to learn to avoid holding myself to unreasonable standards. I've pushed my limits before and I've hit terrible rock bottoms that I never wanna return to. I don't want to be in a constant battle with my own brain and body. I want to nurture myself and give myself room to exist outside of that me vs brain and body mentality. my body is where I live and how I experience the world. I don't wanna be at war with it.

when I was diagnosed with an acquired brain injury (12 years after it had been acquired), my parents didn't understand what it meant. at all. with my diagnosis came a lot of relief, and anger at the diagnosis itself and the system that had failed to help me. despite all that, my depression lightened! and my parents took that to mean that at some point, I would be "back to normal". I received treatment at a brain injury hospital in the middle of nowhere - the treatment being a "brain injury school" where people with the same-ish severity of brain injury could meet and there would be lectures about aids and strategies and apps to help with memory and stuff. it was very helpful! the people who were there had acquired their injuries in different ways. some had been mysteriously ill and had ended up in a coma. a few had been in traffic collisions. one person had been headbutted by a horse. I'm getting off track. the point: the brain injury school had a family day as one of the final things it did. and I told my parents blatantly that it was vitally important to me that they went. and they did. and after that, they understood more. but not because they had received new information. they had just been fed the same information I'd been giving them, but this time by a person in a lab coat. they repeated information back to me that I'd told them the day before the family day as if it was something I didn't already know. that really hurt. I had a point with this re: warriors (very foggy today). validation! yes. it's so important, and I never felt as if I've been given enough, if any at all, from my family. to this day (4 years later) they expect me to always be improving, to keep on fighting. right now I'm feeling really, really low. the pandemic is keeping me from getting a non-emergent procedure that would absolutely improve the quality of my life (unrelated to my brain injury). I feel as if I'm regressing to a time in my life before my initial breakdown that started me on the path to getting diagnosed. I'm doing video sessions with my shrink and on medication but I'm really struggling. i'm an introvert but the level of isolation is really starting to get to me. and I'm pmsing like mad, which is not helping one bit. this is very ranty. i had a point, i think i made it. now I'm rambling.

"Did no fighting today" I'm feeling this. I was supposed to be doing online work but then I fell asleep. Didn't even fight it.

The warrior narrative made it very hard to be kind to myself and my body. I felt more angry and alone, because I had to fight. I wasn't relying on others. Learning to be kind to myself and my body changed my life.

In Germany we had in the 90s and the 2000s a sect who called themselves NPL for neurolinguistic reprogramming. It's central dogma was that, success can be, reliably!planned. Their method was a kind of bootcamp in which participants were exposed to a combination of skills training, flanked by relentless repetition of variants of success through planning slogans. Jobcenters hired NPL members who then taught unemployed people they can "plan" their reentry into the job market. The job market was of cause still incapable of providing the jobs needed, by these people. That left many of the participants who, still didn't get a job, with an added dilemma: Highly motivated by the cleverly executed indoctrination program of NPL, these people had put all their strength into their reemployment efforts, because they believed that "everything can be planned." Yet even in giving it all they had failed. But now they had learned, that their unemployment was their, and ONLY their failure! It caused a lot of grave harm!

ah yes, I am such a warrior when my lung stops working and I am gasping on the ground like a dying fish. I am such a warrior when my heart is working 3 times harder than everyone else's. Because being a warrior is smiling and being happy and making yourself less of a burden to everyone else around you. The warrior mentality of it all drives me crazy, and I'm not chronically ill, my lung is just broken.

This is precisely what i needed - I have EDS and sold my horse this week because I couldn't be the horseowner I wanted to be anymore... it sucked giving up and letting go, but at least I got to live that dream for 9 wonderful years (at least my life at the stable were wonderful, the rest was kind of a mess) 🤩

This is such an important point to make, illnesses are much more nuanced than something to "fight against". I don't have any physical ailments, but I had moderate to severe depression for a couple of years and a turning point in my recovery was understanding that I am genetically predisposed to more intense negative emotional responses and that overcoming depressions means learning to manage those responses, not struggle against them. Any condition that affects your physical and/or mental health is at the same time a part of you, but also distinct from you; you can have an illness, but you are never defined by it, and that nuance is very important to understand. So much of dealing with chronic conditions means simply living with them, and the "warrior" portrayal can take away from that experience and instead romanticizes it as something it's really not.

Thank you, being stuck with a chronic autoimmune disease is miserable, and people saying you're so strong is stupid to me. Im not strong, it's a disease I'll live with the rest of my life.

I love you so much for this. Saying people are "warriors" and "beating" illnesses get my goat. The people I lost to - among other things - cancer did not die because they didn't fight enough. It's victim blaming and I hate it

Yes to all of this! I have a rare autoimmune disease, and I’ve talked in therapy about how I hate when people call me, “brave.” And I worked out that I don’t like that term because to me, bravery is when you have a choice to do something heroic. And I didn’t have a choice. This is just my life. It also felt condescending to me when people would praise me for leaving the house, getting out of bed, or going to school. I’m not brave for doing normal things that most everyone does in the world. It felt like, someone is giving me a participation award for just showing up. I also never liked when people say, “You are not your disease.” I absolutely am. It fully has shaped my personality, every choice I make, my everyday life. You can’t separate me from the disease because I would be a completely different person without it. I feel like it’s not ME that should accept that I am separate from my disease. I think it’s everyone else that should recognize that I’m NOT.

Separating out a “human doing” from a “human being”...Amen Jessica 💚

I think that for me it’s often important to divorce myself from the “fighter” narrative because I struggle with chronic fatigue and I have a tendency to keep pushing myself until I drop. That’s not a healthy choice for me and sometimes the strongest thing I can do is stop fighting and rest.

To me it's unfair to make people feel bad for "not fighting enough" when they have no control over there circumstances. It's not good for our mental and physical health to be fighting 24/7 and sometimes it's just not possible. I think instead of simply telling people (especially those with mental illnesses) to fight, we should be there to listen to them and support them. We should tell people with chronic illnesses that it's ok to feel like crap and not always be doing your best. My point is, we need to build up endurance through love and support. Saying "fight harder" doesn't help anyone. And telling someone "OMG you are so strong I can never get through what you've been through" is almost not believing in your power. We have to realize that we can only do the best we can and there are a million factors involved in why someone else can't do something you can do and vice versa. Of course knowing yourself as a warrior can be good, it's good to see yourself for your strengths and know that who you are is enough. It's good to reconginze how well one has done, but saying "fight harder" is extremley insensitive. I much prefer "You are perfect just the way you are, there is no pressure to do anything and it's ok to feel like crap. You have done so many good things and have helped so many people. You have tried your best." That makes me feel like a warrior. But saying to fight when it's out of my control can be hurtful

"Even if you've put no effort into today, you're still valid." Hit me straight in the feels with this one.

A bit different as my (only diagnosed) condition is a mental health issue, but I really felt what you said at the start about "just trying hard enough". I have anxiety, which is hard to separate from 'just me' at the best of times, and actively messes with my head at the worst, and it wasn't until a doctor recently made of point of saying that I would have this for life that I realised how much stigma I'd absorbed. That I'm not faking it, that I do deserve support when it's offered, and that I can't overcome it through sheer force of will. In fact, when I try to do that and pretend I'd be just fine if I tried a bit harder, it usually makes everything a lot worse. Now, even though not much has changed, just acknowledging that and seeking out more help has actually made me more functional, not less like my mind/stigma suggested. TLDR: this applies to mental health too, you can't just 'get over it' by 'trying harder' and if this is your internal narrative right now please seek help, just acknowledging and accepting it makes a huge difference I promise. x

thank you for giving your perspective! i am thankful that you said “even if you did nothing today, you are valid” that makes me feel better about my rest days with my migraines that could be classified as chronic. thank you!

Oh, this video made me ugly cry. I've been suffering with mental health issues for over 10 years. I don't know if this is something I can overcome or just manage. In parallel, I'm also a healthcare worker, and have been increasingly frustrated by the language of "frontline workers going to war" and so on. For one, we're the backline, the frontline is people staying at home. Also, I kind of signed up for this kind of crisis and do well in managing emergencies, but didn't see this pandemic coming, and am worried for my family's, friend's and patient's health. I'll go where you want me to go and do what I need to do to help people, but in no way do I have the tenacity or bravery of a soldier.

I love the phrase "energy levels of a very active slug"😂. Thank you for giving me a new descriptive term for the 100th time I'm asked how I'm doing now as it will have suddenly changed. Also thank you for the brilliant chronic health content it make me feel like I'm not the only one who doesn't like being an "inspiration" because I have dodgy genetics and take loads of meds just to vaguely function.

As someone who is disabled and chronically ill, thank you so much for this. I love this. The warrior mindset makes me feel like I'm just not fighting hard enough when I have a rough day, and I feel like I've "lost" and I've "failed." It's a form of gaslighting and its awful. Thank you so much for this.

I used to be really caught up in this idea of fighting my chronic illness and it was so hard! Then one night, when for the millionth time I couldn’t sleep because I was so ill, I just switched in how I saw my body. I saw my body as a child which was suffering and just wanted compassion. And I cried. I have spent the years since switching my attitude. My body is suffering and needs compassion. Fighting talk makes me want to push myself, compassionate talk makes me want to take care of myself. It is the latter that has helped me. And no I don’t want to be seen as a warrior either. Mostly I’m just a blob lying around in my pyjamas too exhausted to move. And that’s ok. Healthies, go find your inspiration elsewhere.

I never thought of it that way...yet I get upset when people tell me I “can’t think that way” when I say I’ll never get better. I’ve felt so guilty every time I’ve been unable to push through or live up to my extended family’s expectations...but I put “EDS Warrior” on everything. Perhaps it gave me some false sense of control. I took a meditation class taught by Vidyamala Birch on coping with chronic pain, and the number one thing she recommends is acceptance and focusing on each moment as it happens rather than the time until your next medication dose, or the rest of the day or night. Being a warrior implies some strategy or planning ahead. Thank you for sharing your point of view. Even if I hadn’t agreed with you, it is always worthwhile to listen. You never know when you might hear something profound or change your mind.

This resonates with me sooo much. As a nurse, I feel especially when a person is dying from chronic illness or cancer, I see their relatives just pushing them verbally to "keep fighting". But sometimes these patients are just tired of living with that condition. For some reason, certain people think of them as weak and not trying enough for that, when it's actually just their own will. They can't seem to understand how cruel fatigue, constant pain or nausea can be and that it's ok to not want to go through that anymore.

I wasn't built for speed,I was built for comfort. So I tend to go with the flow. I tell my mom if you did your best then thats all you can do. ( she is 85 and slipping away)

I have chronic migraines which hardly qualifies me as chronically ill, but I hate so much when people call me brave. Like..I don't have a choice, it's not bravery it's just my life. It puts so much pressure to be this perfect fighter, never complaining, quietly suffering, you're not a real person anymore, just this inspirational being existing to give people hope

My mum specifically asked for people not to talk about her 'fighting' cancer or 'losing the battle' etc. Because she wanted to work with her body to help herself feel a bit better, rather than 'fight'. With my autoimmune stuff my body is already fighting itself! I don't need to add to that!

Thank you so much for this. It's an entirely different situation (every situation is) but when my father had terminal brain cancer he got this all the time and it used to upset him so much--and you can imagine how much we were trying to avoid anything at all upsetting in that last year. It came from (usually) well-meaning friends and family, the "you can fight this, you got this, you're going to beat it" and even pushback against the idea of going on hospice even though it was his choice and the right call for his situation. And he always responded "no, I can't." Not because he wasn't strong, not because he wouldn't have tried if there was anything to be done, not because we weren't pursuing every possible treatment option, but because he literally couldn't stop it or survive it. From the second it was diagnosed, there was no chance of recovery and less than three years to live, confirmed by dozens of doctors and surgeons. Telling him he could beat something that he just objectively couldn't beat really got him down, and made him feel like he'd "lost" when the tumor ultimately started severely impacting his ability. I know there are other cancers and diseases with better prognoses, and people who might find that mindset encouraging, but the assumption that it was the right thing to say was incredibly hurtful at a very vulnerable time. He was strong, in a way unique to him, but not a way digestible by some of the people closest to him, and it was hurtful to him that he didn't have their support in not fighting and not being okay.

Here's my thoughts on it: the term "workaholic" describes me very well. I will work through any pain and even get a high from pushing too hard. I worked myself into way worse condition. I also was raised by a marine and my nick name was "daddy's little soldier". So basically, the term warrior is ingrained in me and has encouraged me to fight in an unhealthy way. However, I have learned to see the term differently, in more of a strategic warrior sense. It's not just fighting to be able to do things. It's fighting to get care. It's strategizing how to get done what I want to and knowing when to retreat to bed. It's even the battle of convincing myself not to push too hard.

As someone who deals with mental illness, identifying as a warrior or fighter has really helped me because it is acknowledging all the work that goes into keeping my mental health steady. It also makes me feel like I have control over my recovery and life. If I stopped fighting it, the depression would consume me.

I have had a chronic illness since I was 14. The amount of times ive been told to "just fight through it" when I physically couldnt was difficult to hear. It just reinforced this idea that if I wasnt constantly fighring I wasnt doing enough and it left me feeling worthless.

I really appreciate this video as I'm tired of hearing "Just keep going it will get better". I have Sickle Cell Anemia and Type 1 Bipolar disorder , So I am constantly in pain due to blood clots and routinely in the hospital for blood transfusions monthly. Honestly with Covid 19 I'm barred from leaving home but for the exception of transfusions, which can be super depressing at times. I'm not going to fight my body but walking along life's path and this is mine. So screw it! But shout out to my wife for making life easier even on the worst days.

Thank you for this! I, too, hate the "warrior" narrative. Being a warrior sounds to me like another job and I've got enough to do with resting and healing, thank you very much.

As someone dealing with several mental illnesses, I very much agree with this sentiment. Mental illness isn’t something that you can just will yourself through. Some days are better than others, and a bad day shouldn’t be seen as a defeat.

When I saw the title I was all like "Agreed, Jessica is not a warrior, she is clearly a Bard and Claudia is a Cleric!"

Talking about bags under the eyes... I can fit my shopping in mine! 🤣🤣 Hope everyone is keeping well and safe. Don't ever change Jessica, I love you because you are you. You help put me at ease because you are honest, and accepting of all narratives. The world needs more Jessica's. ❤❤

Thank you for addressing this. I lost my parents to cancer and I HATED the 'warrior'-ness about it. I hated it. It wasn't fighting. It was getting the best medicine they could afford and could receive and living their life as best they could. It was suffering and it was joy. It wasn't fighting.

“I have the energy level of a very active slug” -I feel that right now

Radical acceptance is a big part of dialectic behavioral therapy where you learn to just drop the things you can't change. It's really been useful for me with accepting that I'm a fatigued lady and some days, Imma be a slug, and that's okay, that's what my body needs that day

I believe “polite and sarcastic” are perfect descriptions of this channel.

the warrior narrative for disabled and chronically ill people reminds me of the overcoming narrative for neurodivergent people. As a dyslexic, ADHDer, and someone with dyscalculia, people mention a lot how what I'm able to achieve academically is incredible and how inspiring it is how I've overcame my dyslexia. And I'm just here like, no? I didn't? Like I'm still dyslexic, I've just used my accommodations in school, talked to teachers, and learned/created strategies that work for me. I haven't overcame anything, this is just how I am. And I get that the sentiment is nice, it just always rubs me the wrong way. Anyways, thank you Jessica for holding a very important and nuanced conversation, as always!

Sometimes hearing I’m a chronic illness warrior does make me feel better to be honest, it makes me feel strong... but, and there is always a but, I am essentially a 1940s damsel in distress who’s permanently fainted and needs a strong woman to carry her bridal style into a mansion whilst she weeps in joy of the love and being in the arms of her Lady in shining armor.... (wow, that got gay.)

Oh Jessica i think youre so true. I don't have a chronic illness, but people who have one have to live with it. It's not easy as I expect, and I guess saying "come on fight" is a real easy sentence for people who don't have a chronic illness

Bringing this to another topic: I also dislike the "battle"-terminology when it comes to productivity. We have to "fight" our laziness and "keep going". You know what happens when I "clench my teeth to push through"? I get migraines. Instead, I have found another way how to be productive while keeping physically and mentally healthy: by accepting the influence of situational factors. Sometimes I don't like the task, sometimes my body is unwell ... I now try to either change the situational factors or to accept them and wait for a better day. But most importantly: I don't judge myself for being unproductive, because it is NEVER because I am lazy.

Sometimes, thinking of myself as a "fighter" gives me energy to get up again and recover from a rough time. Sometimes, thinking of my mental illness as a war or struggle just makes me feel worse about myself. I try to figure out what works for me and feels helpful in the moment

Thank you for describing the feelings I've been struggling with for awhile. Chronic migraines, vertigo, and mental illness feel like chains on my body, but when I think of it as different aspects of a painting, it doesn't feel so bad.

“A uniquely boring trauma” is such a succinct and accurate way to describe chronic illness

Since finding your channel you’ve made me feel a lot more comfortable with myself. I developed ME almost 5 years ago & while trying to understand my condition I’ve felt pressure online to make it my identity which, to me, was scary & demoralising. Watching your channel I’m finally starting to understand that yes, ME is a part of me but it’s not all I am, so thank you.

Oh thank goodness that someone else is tired of being seen as a hero just because we are getting through life like everyone else, just with chronic illness and/or disability. That makes you my hero, Jessica. Hang in there . ❤

Okay, you aren't a warrior, but you're so important and your words is so true

Nicely said Jessica. The truth is not everyone gets better. The warrior fight doesn’t fit my reality of chronic pain.

That deep down feeling of “maybe I’m not trying hard enough” when fighting a chronic physical/mental illness is soooo important to acknowledge! I think so many of us with chronic illness have that feeling of shame or guilt at some point, of “why can’t I do this and they can?” Or “how come I can’t get better when I’ve tried for so long, I feel like a burden”. It’s so hard to accept that a chronic illness isn’t something we can wish or “try” or do our even absolute best to make go away. Society wants us to believe that there is an after because they don’t understand (and often just can’t because they have no experience of that level of pain or fighting, or remain uneducated, etc) that for some conditions there is no cure, or getting better fully. Just symptomatic relief, acceptance, and management. I’m still working on not feeling that self doubt myself after so long. Thanks for this, great video Jessica! Sending love 🖤💜🖤

Having had both cancer and chronic illnesses I absolutely HATE the warrior mindset as well. When you feel terribly sick having someone call you a survivor sucks & telling you to keep fighting because in those moments you just want comfort and compassion for the shit your experiencing. With the identity thing, after cancer I had someone say I was making cancer my identity. In reality I was spreading awareness and discussing the life long side effects I will live with as a result of the cancer and chemo.

They’re not fighting, they’re coping. There’s a difference, they are not at war, they are trying to accept their (chronic) illness and learn to live with it.

I love the bloopers but I can feel the frustration when you’re tired and it just needs to be finished... or maybe that’s me projecting.

I personally like the term, but not because I'm fighting against my illness, more to appreciate the effort that it takes us to just get through the day, and managing to show up to things.

I find the warrior narrative useful to me whenever my depression comes back

Thank you! I don't like it when people call me warrior either. I've notice the ones who tell me that, they don't really know me. Even if it is a relative who "knows" me since I was born, I just feel like when they call me that, they're seeing my disabilities as something I have to fight and overcome. But the ones who do know me, they have never called me warrior, they're just there treating me, like me.

Yes, this!! I hate it when I get praised for going for a walk or doing higher energy tasks, as if it were my choice for having a good day. All it does imply that it's also my choice for having bad days.

I love your make up. The red colour of your lips, the shape of your brows, your hair in an elegant up-do... so pretty. Makes me want to get up, look half decent, and live up to the way you call us; "lovely".

Thank you!! I've had a rough day. Stresses around my husband's health have sent me into a bit of a crash. I almost passed out getting to the bathroom today. Now I'm in bed with my feet up. Caffeine doesn't seem to help me as it does you. It actually makes things worse, so the drink I had this morning was probably a mistake, lol! (ME and POTS).

Got an email from a teacher. She said how proud she was of me for over coming my challenges. These challenges being my autism and physical disabilities, both of which I’ve had my whole life and will for the rest of it.

Yes to being stressed as unhelpful. That's why doing things to relieve it (by doing not much or taking time out) is way better for you than fighting. Imma have a cry and then chill. Sending love ❤️

Of course you are not a warrior! You are a cleric, you bring wisdom and healing to the bruised and vulnerable.

I’ve finally learned to accept that sometimes it’s ok if the only thing I’ve done today is breathe.

Ironically, I have the word Warrior tattooed on my arm- that was before my body went into a tailspin and exploded. I always took the meaning to be different, being a warrior was to be fighting the outside world, it never occurred to me how I was fighting my own body. Looking back I can see where I did try to fight my failing body, rather than embrace it and give it what it needed to succeed. Thank you for a new perspective that I didn't know I needed.

I call myself a warrior. I’m not fighting my illnesses. I’m fighting for visibility and equal opportunities for disabled people. I’m fighting for my place in society. To be recognized as whole and important and worthy of respect and personhood.

I hate having my Autoimmune Diseases...I'm a mother, thankfully of only 1...but still, there are days like today where it physically hurt to get out of bed. Tears streaming down my face yet I get told "You look great" "You don't even look sick" "There are people who are suffering worse than you" etc etc... I try my best to stay positive for my son, thank you Jessica for your uplifting videos. Thank you soo much. Sending so much love and positivity to you and your wife from Las Vegas 🖤

I agree with the so much. It's a point of contention between myself and my dad- he HATES when I talk about my life and my future as if I'm never going to get better, he wants me to "never give up fighting" but I have nothing TO fight. My chronic illness isn't going to manifest itself into a punchable, defeatable avatar. It's just going to keep being me.

I guess maybe not being disabled long enough that I’ve never given it THAT much thought but it very much makes senses everything you said. It is hard. But at the same time it’s normal for us so it’s weird to be praised for just living. I had a few people tell me how I’m their hero and I’m so strong and I explained how they would be the same if they were in my position, and one said “I’d be surprised if I hadn’t taken my life”. That statement shocked me because somethings are a hard yes, but not that hard. Like, life is still pretty effin good all things considered. The warrior term puts on this idea that you always have to be strong and I definitely can’t be strong all the time. Anyways I’m rambling, I like your points and very much agree with them. What a good thought provoking video 👍

You have such a lovely infectious laugh! Always makes me want to laugh with you, especially when you're laughing with Clara.

This kind of relates to the comparisons. Someone with the same illness as is me is doing so much more and has accomplished so much more. Which just plays all kinds of game with my mind.

Man, I remember breaking down into the most massive sobbing fit because one random social worker once told me "You're doing enough". I cried and cried and cried, because even back then, when I had no idea what was "wrong" with me (autism) it always felt like the narrative around me was "you just need to try harder". The bone-deep relief of being allowed to just be where I was for a minute was a completely new and wild experience. I still struggle with the narrative every day, and will probably never stop believing on some level that I'm just a lazy lardass who needs to grow a spine, but god. Putting down the warrior/fighter mantle is just such a relief. Love you, Jessica. Sending you all the good vibes to stay safe and sane in your isolation.

My least favorite thing to be told is how ‘brave’ I am. I am not brave, I’m not choosing this option, I’m doing the only thing I can. I’m living.

My life got so much better when I starting working with my body rather than fighting it. I like to think of my chronic illness as a toddler in their terrible twos inside of me, sometimes it feels like it’s about to half a meltdown so I give it what I think it’s wants so it’ll chill out so I can continue to go about my day. But, much like a toddler, sometimes my body has a bad day, an epic meltdown, if you will, and you could try to take the kicking screaming toddler around with you the whole day, but you’re just going to totally wear yourself out and be in horrific pain all day. Sometimes you have to “give in” and just stay home and ride out the storm

Awesome video Jessica! Very thought provoking. It's interesting for me to think about in the context of my dad who has a type of cancer that doesn't go into remission and which he'll be "fighting" for the rest of his life. I don't really use the "warrior" terminology to refer to him anyways because it doesn't feel like it really fits with how he is day to day, but I think it is good for me to confront my expectations of him

Jessica, You have truly been a blessing in my life because you have helped me to love myself as I am. I was a healthy and active person, but when I hit the mid-30's (I'm only 42) I started having issues (for time I will leave it at that.), but those issues caused me to slowly become more depressed that I will not have the same life style I had before... but in finding you not only do I now know that I am great the way that I am, I also believe that I will find someone to love me as your sweet Claudia loves you.

I don't need therapy, I just need Jessica's videos 🥺❤️❤️

Love this, it's so much better for my mental health when I just accept and listen to what my body is trying to say because sometimes it's saying curl up in the fetal position and cry out the pain. Anybody with a chronic illness or disability is "strong" but we're still humans who have ups and downs that not everyone else can understand so just listen.

Thanks Jessica for telling me I'm still valid and awesome even if I put no effort into today, I needed that

It does bother me, even when it comes from a place of good intentions when someone emphasizes how "strong" I am for "fighting" through different illnesses. I was diagnosed with chronic mental health disorders when I was 17 and after going to therapy and somewhat coming to terms with it, I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 19. The subsequent treatment has left me with permanent organ damage. It's really interesting to see the parallels and differences between mental and physical illness and it's near impossible to separate these aspects of myself from who I am... it sometimes feels like so many of my values come from insight and experience I have from my illnesses. I'm a first time viewer and I'm really glad that I found your channel! I feel like I can't put my thoughts into anything other than rambling, but I just really appreciate this community.

I have often felt like a failure because I couldn't overcome my three chronic pain issues (there is always someone who was healed after doing this or that, or healed because someone prayed for them. Jessica when you said, "I'm just saying...even if you put no effort into today, you're still valid and awesome in my eyes." I wanted to cry because it was so nice to hear that. I've been scolded for owning my handicaps/limitations, but it takes way less energy to make friends with my body rather than fighting it. Thank you for this video!