I'm Over All These  

" My mailman held my hand too long, handing me my package." 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

If he was supposed to pick up on her non verbal cues, then how come she didn't pick up on his?

Thank you, this was a date, I'll even take it as far as calling it a bad date, but rape, it was not!

I'm not saying Aziz is completely innocent. My issue is that she brought her feelings to his attention, he acknowledged them, and APOLOGIZED! Is that not enough? Why now try to come out and ruin his career?? I forgot, for a check.

"My boss tapped me on the shoulder... Mee Tooo!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Rule #1 If you ain't fucking don't come back to a man's house.

As a well established Black man, Tavis Smiley knows the OPPOSITION like the palm of his hand. He's too smart to fall for the old okey-doke. He's innocent! Now, Russell Simmons is a different story. He was a FOOL with power. And what makes it worse for him is that he's BLACK...he should've let the history of the Black man in this country guide his pathetic and self-serving actions.

I have made out with men in a dark room, and I didn’t want to have sex and when I said I didn’t they respected it but I didn’t feel assaulted at the idea that they wanted to have sex. That’s normal to feel that way. That is sexual assault. If I don’t say anything I can’t expect for him to read my mind if I feel uncomfortable with anything, as I am not mute and capable of speaking my mind like a mature adult. Case closed, she’s wrong.

As a grown woman, when I’m in a situation that I’m not comfortable with I leave!! Point blank period! When she said she didn’t want to have sex BUT still stayed at his house THAT is a problem!!

I as a woman thought something along these lines..all of theses things she said started happening from the restaurant to the apartment that she did not like and yet, not once did she get up to leave. She kept sticking around incident after incident.

Pretty soon... we won’t be able to even get a compliment from a guy.

I'm a woman who's actually been raped and I can say this is going to far.

THANK YOU!!! As women we have responsibility too. He didn't invite her over to play cards, he wanted sex and stopped when she said no. She thought she was gonna get wifed up and when that uber came, she got salty. If you feel like a date is not going the way you like, it is time to leave. Do not go to his house, hotel or any room alone with him. We all knew it would come a time when certain women would take advantage, but this is overboard and harming the cause.

Thank you!!!! Somebody finally said it👏👏👏

That sounds like a regular ass date...😒

My heart goes out to sexual assualt survivors; I have met some women whose lives where forever marked by those experiences. The women who choose to lie about such experiences are trash and make it harder for assualt survivors to come forward because they don't want to be shamed. Ladies, you have agency over your lives and body. Own it and own your decisions. If someone assualts you, then report them ASAP.

It diminishes real me too stories. It pisses me off

When stories like this come out, I think back to Merlin Santana. That beautiful man had his whole life ahead of him, but a lying teenage girl was the cause of his tragedy.

As with any "movement", #MeToo has gone too far. This protest was supposed to be about men in authority abusing their power to pressure women into sexual situations, and has now devolved into a one night stand going home disappointed after bad sex. Gone are the days of personal responsibility and discernment. It's amazing how some weak people know how to talk themselves into a sexual situation but don't know how to talk their way out of it. The same way she opened her mouth to let the dick in, is the same way she should have opened her mouth to let the words out. If she changed her mind and didn't want to continue, she has every right to do that, but she has to say it. Ruining an innocent man's reputation because you were to weak to say you changed your mind is not what the # MeToo is supposed to be about. I didn't grow up around weak women. All of the women I grew up around have no problem voicing their opinions and they are as baffled by this story as I am. Non-verbal cue? 🤔

He's not talking about being pulled in a alley and violated. He talking about creating situations then screaming victim. I agree with you Ms. Dineva

Now I'm not ever one to victim blame and I have experienced sexual harassment as well... but we're setting a dangerous precedent in how we view these instances on a spectrum. There is a difference in feeling that a sexual encounter was not satisfying or one that you regret after the fact. Do I think there were some cues that she put out? Yes.... but how subtle or how overt those cues are, are up for debate. Ultimately, when you're not feeling comfortable... you have an obligation and duty to yourself to say something that leaves no room for doubt. We can't expect anybody to read minds and then be upset later. Fuck being polite, if you don't like it, say something

See this is why Rape victims don’t get believed because of this crap. So Aziz story really pissed me off. Meanwhile she said she texted him and they talked about it and he apologized. So I don’t get what the point is of her coming out now. They are saying their is a physical no as well as a verbal no. But unless your being attacked why can’t you just say no. I have said no plenty of damn times.

As a women i agree with everything your saying. We've been trained to know that if im going to his room/house at 2am or whatever time we already now Whats up even if we act like we dont.

Quiet as it kept.....you kept it real on the Azizi issue...not the fact He is my favorite but this is a bandwagon. I understand She didn't want to be a Hoe...but there are actual victims out there who need their justice from thier agressors. But some females are a Mess for the real Women who is strugglin out there

you're not crazy!!! speak that truth... body language speaks more than words to guys sometimes... but women have to open their mouths and say what they want or dont want, mean it and show it with their actions. where im from if you not fuckin you dont go to they house. make them treat you like a lady by setting clear verbal/nonverbal boundaries

I'm a 23 year old woman. She was trying to pull it w the nonverbal cues. Like you said, he did nothing wrong

When you go out with a man, you have to act like a lady. You don't go back to his house on the first date unless you know something is going down. You will go to his house after you become comfortable, and when that time comes he will know what he can and cannot get away with and won't disrespect you. I don't see where he did any wrong. Men have to be more careful about who they spend time with.

A non verbal cue could be brushing his hands away, putting your hand up to keep him from getting to close, etc. I agree Aziz did nothing wrong and women like that make it difficult for real victims. He didn't rape nor assault her. There was nothing to tell. She looking for attention. Now Tavis.....I don't know.

SHE TRIED IT!

Thank you I been saying this. Ruining these men's lives cause they want some attention . OVER IT BABY

A lot of women may disagree, but I have to agree with you. At what point do people take responsibility for their actions? By no means am I victim shaming, but hearing this story in particular made me 🤔. There was no force, and at any point I'm sure she could have left. Was he supposed to read her mind??

I was victim of date rape I went to the guy house was kissing on the bed and when he wanted to take it futher I said no at that point I should've got the hell out of there but being young the guy was very aggressive I was afraid to leave. But from that I learned not to put myself on that kind of situation again and if I don't want to have sex I leave immediately. Once she said no she should've left staying says you changed your mind. Women must know when to leave if they feel uncomfortable period

You said it exactly how it needed to be said regret is not rape!!!!!

You are not crazy!!! When I heard the news I was disgusted!!! I do not think you get to accuse people because you do not like them, it’s not right. In her own words she didn’t want to continue and wanted to leave and she did. She does not mention being forced to do anything. I am not into accusing people because they do not want to date us or other. The real “Me Too” movement is for real victims female and male and we have to understand what abuse means. I do not feel that lady is a victim at all and my sympathy is with real victims!!!

To the women that were more afrid of losing their reporting this should be ashamed. To the women that were truthfully abused my heart goes out. But to the Chicks are using this to blatantly destroy folks should be ashamed

Aziz better fight her to the fullest extent of the law. Aww hell naw!!!

As a woman I am very torn with believing all these ladies... it may have happened to some but I believe some are jumping on a bandwagon.. I’m thrown off with this “nonverbal “ communication.... you can’t be in the moment of kissing a man and saying he should have your mind of saying “no”. It would be different if she pulled away and he kept kissing her and pulling away would be a non verbal communication.. I pray the bandwagons don’t make a mockery of a much needed movement and kp real victims silent.

Yes!!!!! Finally someone is saying something!! I thought I was the only one who felt this way..This is getting out of hand! If these women keep on doing this these men are gonna go buy these sex robots that’s starting to circle around ... Then they’ll start complaining men aren’t showing them attention..... ijs

If I’m not mistaken she let Aziz go down on her too before he exposed his penis, so he went down on her, he then thought she wanted to have sex... and when she said no he sent her home. I don’t see what he did wrong either

We need the conversation & dialogue regardless of any allegations.

I understand it's frustrating. Seems like everyone is coming out of the woodwork, the lines are getting muddied and I completely agree with you on the Aziz allegations. We don't want to discouraged the the people that have been legitimately assaulted from coming forward and these REAL predators held accountable.

@Funky Dineva I said the same thing. This shit has got to stop! And side note: I have this wig

Dineva I have been a victim of sexual assault when I was a teen and the first thing I said to myself is that I did not have any business in that room where it happened. You are 100 percent right. Alot of these allegations sound shady and I am tired of them too. It takes away from the real cases of rape and assault. You aint wrong Dineva.

I been w my man for YEARS and even he can't pick up the smallest non-verbal cue.. hell, they rarely pick up verbal cues.

Stop going on 1st dates @ night ANYWAY ladies! Don't even pressure yourself directly or indirectly. Tryna b a woman with a girls mindset. No means NO all day! However the best cue for "I'm not fucking" is things like " Meet me @ Starbucks" or Jamba Juice.

OMG! THANK YOU for Saying THIS! The whole situation is WAY PROBLEMATIC!!!

Tavis ain't having it at all

We don’t know the history of these alleged victims. Also, Dineva don’t assume that women have been talked to about sex and dates because we all didn’t growing up. As a woman that has been sexually assaulted throughout my life beginning at the age of 4, there is not manuscript of how you will react when/if it happens again. The last time I was sexually assaulted I was 21 and I just froze because I went back to being a defenseless child being assaulted. I was finally able to stop him but it took a moment for me to get there. Why? I couldn’t believe it was happening and I didn’t know what to do because I was scared and alone with my aunt’s husband. I digress...

Thank you for being you. I am such a supporter, Your spirit and vibe really resonates with me.

I think part of the problem is that we have a long history of sexual interaction between men and women. Men are supposed to be the aggressors and a women simply receive. To this day that code still exists and many abide by it unwillingly. A woman wants to be the aggressor but feels she can’t. She may also still want sex to mean that she’s loved. After the deed, there’s that internal emotional conflict because the sex didn’t happen how she imagined it. That’s not all cases, but it’s more than none. Another thing, we need to be able to openly speak about sexual expectations. Men need to be able to flat out say, “can we fuck?” instead of “would you like to come over and watch a movie?”. Transparency would help out with those situations where signals got crossed because men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Either we need to learn the language of the other planet or have one common language so that all parties are on the same page from the onset that sex is expected or not.

As a woman, I am in NO way victim blaming or shaming. However, with that being said, Aziz isn’t a man who held a power dynamic over this woman. It’s not like Weinstein or Cosby, where the woman felt compelled or forced because the man could “make them or break them” so to school. Those men have endless supply of money, influence, power, control, and resources and could ruin a woman’s life or career in a hot second. This is different. A man u just met a few hours ago for the first time isn’t inviting u back to his house to play cards or debate politics and current events.

*This is so true. Some women do lie/exaggerate. I once went into a store with my cousin's ex girl/baby mother. He was waiting in the car for us. When we got into the car, she told him how a couple of guys was bothering her and trying to holla at her and such. I was shocked and didn't know what to say, cause I knew she was lying. He was cursing and getting mad and was about to go into the store to give them a piece of his mind. My cousin has a temper and many gang connections. She was telling him don't do it, let it go and that she was okay. Bitch is twisted. It turned her on to see him get riled up over her. When my cousin dropped her off at her house, I straight up told him SHE LYING. THOSE DUDES AIN'T SAY SHIT TO HER. He looked dumbfounded.*

It's not ya'll. It's white women.

No we do not need to stop telling our stories. This is needed but I agree this story specifically pissed me off. As a woman who was actually sexually assaulted by a grown man at 16, it really pissed me off with this stupid ass story. It should've never been published.

at about the 8:30 mark, you nailed it. Ol' girl was down for some first date sex and if Aziz had said, "i love you", she would have f*cked him twice. But he was treating her WAAAAAAAY too casually and that hurt her feelings. As you stated, her having hurt feelings is valid, but that doesn't mean that Mr. Ansari did anything illegal. You could call him a cad, but a "predator"? that's going way too far.

TMZ has turned into Undercover racist now. I find that show quite disturbing

I think that I am qualified to comment on this issue. I am a rape survivor, sexual victim many times over. When you grow up fat, sometimes people take advantage. I give talks about the very subject. While we have to be careful with victim blaming, the victims need to be very clear about their accusations. For instance, if someone says something to you, that is sexual in nature, your first response does not have to be to call TMZ when all you had to do was tell the offender to Step Off. Also, every uncomfortable situation that you might find yourself in, is not sexual abuse-it may just be immoral, ignorant, or inappropriate. I was sexually abused as a child-I was powerless. As an adult, I was raped. I am a survivor, and I have no time for innocent people being made to be monsters, on the strength of an accusation being made by a woman. Wrong is wrong, and it's wrong to disrupt people's lives like this.

So glad you are posting videos today.

The grand jury (aka we the people) have not actually indicted Tavis yet.

Emmett Till all over again

As a woman I agree with you. I was all for the metoo movement but on twitter and facebook all I'm seeing is stuff that paint women as these special victims. I am no victim and from the moment dude rushed me through my glass of wine I would be calling my uber and as we leave the restaurant it would be pulling up and that would be last time I saw him. She knew what she wanted and he knew what he wanted and they both thought they could win. Was he a gracious host? No but she could have left.

FD I don’t agree with your commentary sometimes but you are 100 percent correct!! This #MeToo is some white women privilege mess.

I agree with everything you said.

This is one of your best videos Dineva. Point clearly and precisely made even for the slow to follow. 👏🏾

I'm so sick of this too bc people that are really victims of rape and sexual assault is being overshadowed first if I go out on Date 1 and after dinner why would I go back to his hotel or apartment? If I go back to your apt it is often implied that we will engage in some type of sexual encounter. It is no different if a man call me and ask me to come to his place at 11:00 pm talking about we just want to talk If that is not my attention either we remain in an open space or I take my ass home simple put. Yes I have the right to change my mind and a man should respect that which he did Often times as women we have sexual remorse and we start feeling guilty because we want a relationship or treated with respect but having sex on the first date often times don't suggest it and we start rethinking how it looks. For Hollywood hoes plenty of them chicks made Millions of money and most of them were at the top of their careers and now that they are no longer relevant bc younger prettier women have now entered the workplace you want to speak out. Why didn't you turned down those million dollar roles and speak out

Hit the head on the nail in regards to people manipulating stereotypes.

Girl keep these new videos coming. I’ve been watching you from afar since LHHA season 1 reunion. I just subscribed this month😂 and I’m glad I did. I saw your interview with K. Michelle and it made me like you even more. Keep up the good work. I’m here for it ❤️

This has to be one of my favorite videos from you. And that speaks volumes because I have been a fan of yours for the past few years,And I thoroughly enjoy your videos. But this video has said everything and more . And NO IT IS NOT YOU!!! This needed to be said. Thank you for this one.

Shout out 4 Pia's car 😂😂

The takeaway that may be old as time: “I was debating if this was an awkward sexual experience or sexual assault." Aziz ain't a victim. Not discussing & growing people will be the victim, here.

Love the content of your channel. I have to teach my son about these games!

Let me start by saying, thanks . You are one of very few RU-vidrs that keep it consistent. Not flaky editing or contrived behavior. Seems like when RU-vidrs' channels gain momentum, they change. Thanks for your dedication!

What happens a lot of times is that people think more highly of others than they do of themselves. The only person in that situation who had deep feelings for her was HER. She somehow expected him to treat her with more respect than she was giving to herself. In the end when she realized she would have been just another girl to him (not some very special one of a kind lady) she was angry.....mostly with her self. Some people prefer to say they were a victim rather than say that what THEY did was stupid,wrong, unwise etc. Like Dineva said most people know how use a stereotype to their advantage and that's what she did. She became the damsel that was taken advantage of when the truth is she disrespected herself....he hadn't known her long enough to invest that much emotion into her well being......That was HER responsibility!

This has got to stop. She gets to remain anonymous while he gets his name drug all up and down these internet streets. If she remains in the dark he should too cause he cannot get back his good name. She had a bad date because she had two good legs to walk off

This is THE BEST VIDEO Funky D! Thank you

One of your best videos to date! This movement is getting absolutely ridiculous, and I ain't with the shits!

Your on point about the whole movement

Preach, 💞💞💞

I was taught to never put myself in compromising situations. In totally understand what you're saying. These conversations are long overdue, and I do believe most of the women speaking out, but some of the stories make no sense but still the men are guilty until proven innocent.

You don’t go up to a man’s room late night thinking you’re going up for tea and cookies! What you think an entertainer wanna do? Get to know you better? Chile please these females know what time it is...

Nope, you're not crazy Dineva. It's not just you. As a matter of fact, this video had me breathing a sigh of relief because I was beginning to wonder if I was crazy. Everything about this Aziz accusation screams 'THIRST' to me. It's also unfortunate that some of the real victims on this thread are gonna completely ignore the overall message in this video and accuse you of "victim shaming" when you're CLEARLY not.

Now funky you not gonna put the responsibility on women to not be raped

This is why you are my favorite Vlogger! Loved it, nothing but the truth!

I swear, I feel like I just left Sunday church service with a good message lol you spoke 100% truth! Let me hit that subscribe button

I agree with you wholeheartedly!

While I agree that this Aziz story is bullshit, I have to say you grossly undermined rape culture. And I do think there is room for accurate criticism of the “metoo movement” while still expressing for the radical change in how men should treat women’s bodies. For example, I wholeheartedly agree in if we are going to widely publicize the accusations, then we should then follow the story through its completion (but I think that has more so to do with the way our society consumes media). At the same time, (not only in Hollywood) men have allowed their power (as obtained by inequities because of perceptions about women being “fragile”) to abuse women and this very same power dynamic helps them get off.

What camera/device do you use to record?? The quality is BOMB!!

If your description is accurate, Aziz DID NOT NEED AN EXCUSE; but if he did need an excuse, "That's what men do," would not be a good one.

Not me, honey let them carry out their witch hunt. In the end it just means more beef for us. OK!

You left out some details. While I don't agree with how the woman handled the situation, to say that Aziz did nothing wrong is bs. We are all grown and we can all pick up on when somebody isn't feeling us or when the sexual chemistry is off. I'm thinking that's what she meant by "non-verbal" cues. She might have felt pressured into performing those other sexual acts and yes, she probably should have attempted to leave. There are many women out there who have done things out of fear of how the man may react to rejecting his advances, and it's possible that she felt intimidated in some way. Both parties could have handled this better.

Thank you! I just subscribed to you page! Keep the truth comin, Sir!

You're right about putting out a handbook. Because I have no freaking idea where the boundaries are, as they are different from woman to woman. I am concerned for being falsely accused, simply because of buyer's remorse. So I've come up with my own guidelines. Here is an excerpt of my terms: • With me, verbal communication (spoken in person directly between two involving party) is imperative to avoiding misrepresentations of intent and consent. There need to be some bright lines defining and separating different levels of boundaries to which we could both agree, or at the very least, discuss any potential grey areas in which we may disagree prior to engaging to any activity that requires full & explicit personal consent. • If you consent to a meet with me on a date. You understand that I will likely make assumptions in the most traditional sense that you are in fact single, within my age range, emotionally available, and seeking the same for a new long-term relationship. Anything outside of said parameters is a complete waste of our time. • If you opt not to verbally declare your personal boundaries prior to engaging in any activity(s) that may cross such boundaries, then I reserve the right to make certain subjective interpretations from your actions (or the lack of) to determine where those boundaries may incrementally fall. Every woman is different, while there may be large similarities, clearly no two are exactly the same. Since there is no official non-profit educational organization acting as a third party to provide any commonly accepted set of standards as to how the mind reading process must go in absent of concise verbal communication, a certain level of subjectivity is always inherent and unavoidable in the mind reading process. In layman’s term: I am not a magician, or a mind reader. Unfortunately for me, I was not born with any telepathic perception. • You are assumed to be a strong, mature, independent, and consenting adult woman. As such, you also assumed to have full autonomy and agency over your own personal decision, effectively communicate such decision verbally without the aid of ambiguous non-verbal cues that may be interpreted differently from one culture to another, and exercising such decision with full & explicit intent. That said: At any time on a date, if you begin to find yourself feeling uncomfortable in my presence, this should verbally communicated, to me, directly, in private, and in plain English. At the very minimum, it should be verbally communicated (1) prior to or (2) during which the activity that is causing your discomfort is in progress, not retroactively declared after the fact. Once that is established, I will gladly pay for a taxi for your ride home. You understand that if you opt not to exercise your right to verbally communicate your discomfort directly to me at the time when I still have a chance to make reasonable accommodations, I may inadvertently assume that I have your full consent continue forward with the date, wherever that may lead.

What has perpetuated the actions of these vile men is not only the SILENCE of innocent women, but also those tramps who have no problem sleeping their way up the ladder. Let's not forget to put them in the equation.

I find it funny that people are over these "allegations" lol this has been happening for years and you're tired of it?!?! HA!

"Pomp and circumstance" tasks...My my my, you are so right on so many levels!....As a woman I try to respect the sisterhood and encourage my sisters to be comfortable with themselves...Some of it's hardwiring because we cary the babies thus we must be discerning but some of the goofiness is definitely societal rules and /theology/religion/modesty. Yes, we ladies must have that talk about where we still are in our expectations vs. present reality. Everything you said is pretty much same thing I express.We must encourage each other but we need to help build up our men to be more discerning too.We all deserve respect and loyalty.Nevertheless, that happens best with Constant Communication!!! Remember HONESTY=LOVE...I Love to witness your growth and journey Ms. Divenva💓💓✊Stay up my people

Loving the commentary funky.!

NESSAGRL When men especially brothers complain about the me too movement it reminds me of all white people complaining about black folk talking about slavery. Same shit. TF!!!

Hypothetically saying.. This SHIT reminds me of back in the day when chicks claim to be pregnant just to get abortion money. Some were n some weren't pregnant. Thks for having the courage to address this. I know bros in jail falsely accused of such monstrosities n they were Innocent

Thank you Dineva. I was thinking the same thing that this movement has gone too far. There are some disgusting men that do terrible things but a bad date does not equal sexual abuse

I think the biggest thing she did wrong was NOT telling him "No" and then just leaving. I don't think there's anything wrong with her going back to his apartment and making out, but she needed to be strong enough to verbalize telling him "no" and that this is not what she wanted. We as woman are strong enough to do that.