I'm the mom with a degree, sitting in the cubicle waiting on my lunch, getting off work, picking up my children, homework, baths, cooking and repeat. I appreciate u mentioning us. Shout out to us!!
There are a lot of women like you who are living responsible lives, loving their kids, taking care of business and doing the right thing. I know this and we applaud you tremendously. Many people in the community have a distorted view of "integrity, entitlement and hard work. You see, many people do not want to work for anything anymore. This "me, me and me" society has destroyed our perception of what it means to live responsibly.
Hallelujah! Me too. I’m the mom with a real offline “Claire Huxtable” type profession, with 2 kids taking them to school and daycare , and a regular non athlete non Hollywood man. Life isn’t selfies and filters. It’s homework, dinner, bath, bills rinse and repeat. Scrubs and yoga pants are my typical uniform, bloody shoes and waist trainers are for special occasions and 30 inches of hair is only for date night. I wouldn’t trade my world for the instagram life for anything.
We follow Tv. How many of us wanted to go to a HBCU when we saw The Cosby Show and a Different World? Those wholesome shows were replaced with Love and Hip Hop and Basketball Wives. If you are impressionable you will duplicate what you see rather than being true to who YOU really are. It's the same reason why every beauty room is all white with mirrored furniture. (No shade because it is beautiful but it is YOU though?) We stop being individuals and starting becoming clones.
So true. The human body/mind is MADE in a way that is easily "brainwashed" by what we see & experience repeatedly. This is called "learning". It trips me out that MOST people deny that it happens to them. It is a normal process for humans. That's how we learn language, to walk, to use fork & knife and ALL things related to our culture. If we fail to realize and admit how susceptible we are to the media images we see, we will NEVER be able to deal with them, let alone overcome them. It's so funny that you mention "RU-vid" sets, as I call them. I am decorating my house right now and I tend to naturally be drawn to wood, but I want to stay away from all that for a change because my "vision" is all white and gray with mirrors and sparkly lights. I wonder where that "vision" came from?? At least I can see and acknowledge that I'm brainwashed... and it's STILL hard to fight it! As for the whole topic of women wanting to look like sex pots, my body is not shaped that way (even when I do lose weight), so I am clear that I "would have to have surgery" to ever look "snatched". The fact that that is a possible option if I ever get to thay point is MIND BLOWING, considering that I would NEVER have considered having cosmetic surgery just 2-3 years ago! It's not that I looked different - I just didn't "believe in that" for myself. The whole time I have been sitting here listening to this video and reading these comments, I have been thinking about calling my husband to let him know how much I appreciate him for being so loving and accepting me as I am... even though we do live in Atlanta where the women are FIERCE. I still can't help but honestly feel that it certainly can't hurt to "step up my game" as much as possible, anyway, though. Just in case.... Lol. Laughing, but not joking. #damnshame but #keepingitreal
I feel the exact same way. I'm grateful that hubby doesn't expect me to look like I'm fresh off of the Instagram assembly line. Like you, I fought the temptation to decorate my beauty room in a particular way. I was on the IKEA website about to add something to my cart and then I was like, "girl since when you shop at IKEA?" I put it right back and went for what I wanted rather than what's popular. In a way it was symbolic to me. My room doesn't look like everyone else because I'm not like everyone else. *cue 2 Chains* "I'm different yeah I'm different." 😉
BronzeGoddess01 i was about to redo me and my husband room with the white shelves and pink and gold all over.....i was all on Pinterest looking for ideas then i had to stop myself cus thats not me....i was almost caught in the trap
Absolutely SisAMEN-The Superficial BS/Non-consequential Has Taken Over The REAL, Substance, Intelligence, As Well As The Moral Fibers of Many Have Been Corrupted
Media has linked the stripper look with affluence and opulence and desire. Although that appeal was something some women of stature secretly wanted but couldn't openly express because it was dark and taboo, it's now widely accepted. And now those women can have that look without fear of being ostracized.
It's sad, but we should at least be happy they're not pushing "heroin chic" on us anymore. I remember when everyone was gaunt and hungry looking on purpose! It was depressing. This is such a better era because I think body positivity in general is on the rise. I think it'll just take a minute for women to catch on to the "natural body" trend the way they caught on to the natural hair trend. We're still coming away from the media and fashion industries promoting strictly 0s and size 2s, so we haven't arrived at a phase of balance just yet but I'm sure it will come.
Because Lauren Michelle has their degree, they joined theat sorority, lived off Ramen for 4 yrs, graduate, get a job, got in debt, renting trying to get those student loans down, they work hard to get where they are and then here comes Shayla MoShae' and she she got on all the brands, the nice bag, the nice car, the invites to everything, the vacation once a month, everything nipped and tucked if needed, no real job (maybe an online boutique that looks like every other boutique) and some basketball player in her DM's with a high school diploma and Lauren ain't been on a damn vacation in 4 yrs. Next thing you know Lauren got a waist trainer and pushing hair bundles and flattummy tea!
I became swept up in the IG chick movement. I thought I wanted to look like that. I was like wait a minute... I am a teacher and I am a lovely woman. I don't need to do that. I thought something was wrong with me because I am different. I decided being unique is better than following the crowd.
I have definitely noticed this shift. But, I know my value and I will keep the buttocks I was born with, leave the house FULLY dressed in my outfit from the 'regular' mall,with my $80 purse...You get the picture. It's sad but, it all boils down to obtaining the attention of men. Men these days seem to look straight through the 'Claire Huxtables.' However, this says a lot about them right? I'm a woman of substance so, I'm looking for a man of substance. #Illwait
Paris Melvin lol for posting pictures on Instagram.. you Insta they pay them right? then from there they get paid to advertise clothes, flat tummy tea 😩.. hosting parties etc.
Tan T for real! These girls getting paid to post flat tummy tea meanwhile I'm accumulating these law school loans! But when that IG shit fades I'll still have my doctorate and be a practicing attorney 👸🏿👸🏾🤓 This IG stuff is gonna fadeeee
Isa yesss lol it's crazy. that's why you catch some "celebs" advertising things. Tammy.. Tiny.. etc. idk it might fade away but social media isn't going anywhere anytime soon ..hope the Instagram chicks know how to save lol
Man listen, if you can't feel good about yourself without morphing into a mirage then this issue is within. I'm what society would consider basic and my "basic" ass is perfectly fine with that. Nothing wrong with dolling up at all, but if you're doing it because you seek attention or because that's the latest trend the issue is with you and not society. We form society, not the other way around. Solidify your foundation. Build up your self-esteem and confidence. I mean like really...
Two possible reasons: First reason is because despite some of the strides of the feminist movement we still live in a society that is ruled by capitalism, patriarchy, and also white supremacy (but more so the other two). The capitalism comes into play by pushing women to base their value on what material possessions they own (the bag, the weave, the clothes, etc.). The patriarchy comes into play by telling women that their value is based on how appealing they are to the public gaze especially the male gaze. Now here's the second reason. Maybe some of these women just like to look good. If they are a professional/white collar working person, then they're probably wearing suits and modest clothing, but in their free time, maybe they want to be ostentatious because they can afford to be ostentatious. Women on Instagram have a glamour about them that is parallel to the glamour supermodels and actresses had/still have. But also the lines between certain categories of women are being pushed aside because they've done more harm, then good. Women want to show their versatility and their multifacetedness because NEWSFLASH women are human. Women have layers. Women can write a dissertation on bell hooks' work and twerk to Migos at the same time.
I would just like to add black women are the only women that has to fight for the attention of their black male counterparts. The thing is educated black men are a hot ticket on the market.
This is one of the realest videos I have seen in a while. I am a 24 year old woman with a college degree and the struggle is real. Sometimes my friends (who also have college degrees) and I joke around saying we might as well strip or get a sugar daddy because having morals and working a 9 to 5 seems to not be enough sometimes , but Imma keep hustlin. The chicks you speak of are not really winning either. They have all those followers but are still lonely or struggling with self esteem and self hate.
My shoes today $15 from gordmans Distressed jeans $20 from wet seal Sweater $6 Walmart Not even $50 & still looked cute I would never spend $150 on shoes or $80 on jeans! Then again I own my house and car outright, my mindset is different.
Very well thought out argument. I had to do some self-examining after listening to this. I am pursuing my MBA and I work full time in operations but I do find myself trying to have a smaller waist, keep my weave in, apply makeup and wear bodycon dresses (on the weekends). This inspired me to ask myself why do I try to keep up such an appearance when I am academically accomplished? Before social media, I don't think I was as preoccupied with those superficialities. Thank you, Funky D!
Christian Penelton I know this is a year old, but I had to comment. First, congratulations on pursuing your MBA! How's your journey? Did you get it yet? I start school next month to begin my journey of getting my Associates degree in welding. Next, you're absolutely stunning! And finally, I'm happy for you! I pray that everything works out for you. Get another notch on your belt, boo. 😘
I talk about this often with my good girlfriend. There was once a time when successful black women would not be interested in athletes, because they were thought to be less intelligent. Similarly, there was a time when the professional athletes and music artist would rarely marry of "wife" an exotic dancers. Some did, but it was not the norm. It would have been considered reckless. Remember how the women looked down on Royce Reed on Basketball Wives? That was just 5 years ago, but their attitudes towards players dating "dancers" or even "cheerleaders" was real and represented the way things used to be. The standards have changed completely. My observation is that some men want a shortcut. They want this anatomically "correct" woman, that is a super freak in the bedroom, has some popularity (which automatically gives them credit with their boys and in the streets) and they don't want to work for it. Some men are not interested in the perceived challenge or perceived mundane life of dating a regular, smart, attractive, working girl. You this new breed of very successful, high profile men actually having children with and marrying women who bring nothing to the table other than their looks. It starts to play into the psyche of young girls and women. It is a very deep shift in our culture and something that needs to be talked about and more importantly studied.
Kenya W It's something that I've had on my mind for a long time as well...but just wasn't sure how to broach the subject without alienating a certain subset of women. At 47 years old, I've spent the past 30 years of my life married...20+ to my late first husband (may he r.i.p.) & these last 9.5 to my current husband. I can't imagine what women today go through in order to get a man...because for me...I married my brother's best friend the first time (2 weeks before leaving for college)...and my best male friend the second time...so I've never had to actually *date* out in the world like that. If reality TV and social media are to be believed...as well as some of my single good girlfriends...honey the dating game is hard as hell for single women...so I can understand why some women are resorting to any tactic that they think might work in order to catch and/or keep a man! I just want the younger women to know...that you don't have to degrade yourself and/or lower your worth in order to get a good man...because how you get him...is how you have to keep him...and if you can't keep doing what you did to get him...you doggone sure ain't gonna be able to keep him! These men nowadays appear to want their cake and eat it too...but aren't like the men that were my role models (my father & grandfather) who knew what it took to catch and keep a good woman. So the women are having to jump through hoops of fire to get a *piece of a man* but are being shortchanged at the end of the game...and for what...to have the last name of a dude that ain't worth a hot fart out of a fat baby's stinky butt...smh! Anyway...I've rambled enough...lol...I just felt that FD did a great job with this topic...and that your comment was right on the button! ((HUGS)) ~Saki~
I know this is a year old, and I'm super late, but CAN YOU SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK ROW?! I love how you articulated this! Brains and beauty? Girl, you better work! 😍
Kenya Simena Why would we study this? Is it somehow detrimental to our society? I mean who are we to set the standard? These instagram-cheerleader-dancer women are just that...they’re women too. So, why is it ok to marginalize them, but not me or you simply because we happen to be nurses and teachers? What if you being a teacher brings him less than her being a stripper. Who is to say you’re more valuable or bring more just because you are what was “traditionally” valued? We all know that the women traditionally valued were nothing like me and probably nothing like you; does that mean this new “trend” of men from different ethnic groups marrying AA women should be “studied” now that men like chocolate or are admitting they like chocolate. We’re all women, it’s just their turn.
My only concern is what happens when social media is no longer popular? What then happens to these people who based their livelihood on these platforms?
Realistically, do you see social media losing popularity? It seems like a toothpaste and tube situation. It's just too ingrained in public life now. Celebrities and athletes use it for self-promotion and to "connect'" with their fans, companies use it to promote products, reporters disseminate news through this medium, and the everyday folk use it to reconnect with people they may not interact with daily.
not exactly. these social media popular folks are becoming millionaires overnight. These people are getting paid 5k just to sit down at a club (thats more than what many people make a month). Also some have extended their selves to receiving modeling deals, or tv shows. That guy taxstone basically got his podcast because he was popular on twitter, and Charlamange placed many popular black tweeters mtv jobs.
The answer is FAME. Everybody wants it, everybody thinks they need it. The want the attention, the ballers, the money, they want it all. But they end up losing it all because they don't last.
I grew up in the 80's and admired and looked up to Felicia Rashod. That's what I wanted to look like and that's where I got my sense of class. I got it from my mom too. because she was very classy and educated. I actually still want to be a lawyer. A Different World made me want to go to college. These girls now a days have a rude awakening when they get 30's to 40's. girl bye.
I can answer your question. Men don't want a women that's pretty and smart. That carries herself well and looks respectful. They prefer the female that they think that looks like arm candy(typically trashy, no shade). They don't want the smart women that they can build something with. I feel they think it's too much of a challenge. They prefer an easier route. It's unfortunate, but true. In today's world you have to sensor what your children watch as kids so they don't idolize these reality women who are jumping to get surgery. Let's be real, there was a time when weave wasn't so socially acceptable. Growing up in the 80s and 90s I remember a time when chicks with weave would get dragged by men because they didn't have "real hair". Standards have changed. It's all about appearance, not reality. A lot of these reality females are not real. Would like to see if they are still that confident without all the fluff (surgery, weaves, makeup, etc...) Smh
Unfortunately, the world has become more narcissistic and people will do whatever they feel they need to do in order to "win" or at the very least appear to be winning...
They are selling a fantasy. The average woman sitting in her cubicle gets to escape her boring life for a moment as she imagines what it would be like to have her dream look and not need to work, have her choice of men etc. It's no different than men wanting to be rappers. The money, the cars and the clothes, the hoes. This is what success looks like to many now. Women don't want to age gracefully anymore, they want to be forever 21.
My Aunt is the girl you described at the end of the video. In her "hey day" she was beautiful, all about her image - what she wears, what she drives, who she dates. She's now 41, single (because she was waiting for this ideal man who had money and stature that no regular guy could live up to, and she dogged the good guys with good jobs), no kids, has been hospitalized several times this year and didn't have anyone there for her. Beauty is fleeting and is a dangerous thing to base you life off of. I'm glad I don't have a teen-aged or young adult child in this era. It would be too stressful trying to explain and teach them the balance of real life vs reality tv/social media life.
It's like what you said a couple of years ago about Sheree Whitfield "bags and clothes and weaves and cars cannot feel the void of being non accomplished..." What if something does happen to the instagram model? What then? Nobody is deep until they have to be deep. Until they are fighting for their lives thats when the layers begin to come off.
Black men praise these type of women. I think Black women that have spent their lives aspiring to be their best with education, career etc are finding themselves to be alone or while these vixens appear to be winning. Their money, tons of male followers, fab lifestyle etc symbolize success. At the end of the day these intelligent driven women are competitive and want to win they want it all.
I'm not an Instagram baddie and if you're not either, that's okay. Just be yourself, someone will like you if you're honest with yourself and know who you are.
I've wondered the same. And I feel it's bigger than a trend. It's as if that Instagram "look" has become the new standard, and why have women allowed this "life sized Barbie look" to become the new standard? It's mind boggling and frustrating, and I'm glad that with this video Quentin(sp), you've forced the conversation. If it is a trend, I'd like to see the trend END, because the upkeep alone has to be a burden! It's unrealistic to maintain and a danger to the self esteem. Anytime a women is looking OUTSIDE of herself for her value, ring the alarm, because she's in danger!
Yessssss honey you better speak with your degree in economics. All jokes aside..... you bring up a very interesting point. It's all trends. Those who follow them and those who make their own. I do my best to make my own trends and be my own leader.
I'm part of the generation you speak of being a 23 year old and currently getting my masters. My friends and I often joke about quitting school and doing what we see other kids doing like Instagram Vine or whatever but we all know its just growing pains. I think the people who subscribe to being instafamous don't see past what Instagram is and don't understand that eventually it's going to fade. Where is kids that do aspired to be something more.
I'm 19 getting my bachelors and my friends do the same thing LOL. like a lot of things, instagram is just a trend and it will eventually fade (remember Myspace?) I hope these women are saving their coin because instagram fame as a source of income may not last much longer.
I'm 33 and I remember being 17 and wanting to be a video model. Lol. That was the thing in the late 90s early 2000s. Those video models, u do not see anymore for the reason u listed. They old!
We live in the most superficial city in the world! To be "noticed" in Atlanta, you have to have the big ol booty, contoured face 24/7 and crazy long weave smh And I realize it's not just Atl that is so crazy but people are moving here, coming on that Chinese bus from NY and losing their damn minds all to be a "somebody" or a "something" here. When you walk up to someone, they don't have their degrees hanging around their waist, they have a waist trainer on! And sadly, that's what gets them noticed.
I absolutely love this one! I agree. I think that's why I love Issa Rae's HBO show Insecure because I get to see regular looking black women that look like me with relatable issues. Not the cookie cutter hour glass framed chic with the sew-in. oh and please do a review of Insecure, thanks!
Funny you mentioned the Claire huxatble look. I'm noticing now that the women who have substance to them, an education, and or have a great job aren't being wifed up. As a college student it really has made me want to be the instagram model and just splurge on makeup and trying to grow my social media presence. But at the end of the day that ass will drop, the weave has to come out, and that bank account will freeze and when it comes to dating that man has to accept me for me
Thank you so much for this video!!!! I feel that I'm one of few 20 something's that is not concerned with social media or the attention that it brings. But... in today's society your social media status speaks volumes on what today's society judge people on and tbh most men my age glorify the socialites of social media. In return women such as myself feel pressured to be like them. My mother and father raised me to be the "Claire" type of woman but that's hard in the days of social media (especially when it comes to dating) where the material girl gets all the praise while "normal" women are being pushed to the side for social media status. It's sad because people actual judge you on how many Instagram followers you have.
It's so awful that people clown you for not looking nearly as 'good' as these Instagram 'models'; I'm quick to tell people "Shit, you don't look like them either!" #GTFOH It makes no sense. You're not allowed to look like an everyday person, now. That's considered 'ugly'.
Because this world is backwards... When someone throwing a ball, stripping, and on RU-vid gets paid more than a teacher...something is wrong. Anywho, I think you're right that we all come in this world with at least one gift to get us through...mine is art.
All you see are women with loads of makeup, plastic surgery, clothes, and followers etc and then other girls start to think that is the new era of beauty. It's crazy how every girl is starting to look the same now and are aiming for the Kim K look.
Sad day we're living in. To me, my dignity is more important than money. Yeah, these reality stars, Instagram "models", and strippers are making thousands upon thousands of dollars a week but I would rather finish school make a measly $40,000/year than sell myself short. I want to set a good example for my future kids and I will teach them that there's more to life than making a bunch of money doing something ridiculous. Get an education and do something that will change someone's life for the better. God knows we don't need another model or Amber Rose. Have some respect for yourself. 👊💪✌
This is the era of the Kim Ks and Nicki Minajes. Even the "educated" women have fallen prey to the overdone weaves, insta-dresses and unnatural-looking bodies. It's disheartening to see women and girls idolizing the type of woman that you speak of. I do not see the appeal; however, as a Black woman, I do understand the pressure of feeling as if you must "measure up". "Insta-culture" surrounds us. Unfortunately, it's what's "in" for the moment.
Great Video!!!! You made some awesome points. I have a 21(almost 22) year old daughter who is still in college , no kids , full time job and pursuing her bachelors degree she was joking on night saying why am I up doing all of this when I can just do some bootie shots on instagram, buy me some followers and be ratchet and win instantly!! LOL ! Then I said to her dont worry the tables will turn and when the trend leaves they are going to have to come to you for a job. Just keep pushing Nothing you are doing is in Vain!!! But I totally agree and understand where you are coming from.
I think you don't understand a core thing about womanhood. No matter how smart or accomplished a woman is someone will always knock her value down if she doesn't match with society's standard of beauty. It's even a harsher scale for a black woman. For example as accomplished as Oprah is, people still level her with comments about her weight, or lack of beauty. Yet many other male billionaires are actually less attractive, yet are considered prize catches, no matter how they look. It's not even a factor. So I'm unsure about the confusion about why even the professional women are trying to match what society is calling the new glamour girl aka Instagram models. That's actually an easier look to copy for regular girls than supermodels of yesteryear.
paganalexandria thanks I hope he DIvea reads this . It don't work the same for women like it do for men. Bill Gates is not attractive but can still wife a beautiful women . Precious don't have men knocking her door down to get with her even though she's smart has a career . Men don't are if you're not pretty or attractive
I shared this video with my 18 year old daughter. I've been saying this to her for some time now. She adores Black Chyna and I keep stressing to her the exact point you made
I'm a military mother and had my daughter listen to this and it really help here find a new outlook on life. Thanks so much. I have said the same thing but when she heard it from you it hit home. Keep doing what you do cause it does help
See it all the time, succumbing to this type of pressure stems from insecurity and ignorance. Some just don't know any better and some, as you mentioned, want it any way they can get it (ATTENTION).
I think the biggest downside to mainstream social media has been the spawn of a global lack of originality. Since the dawn of advertising, people like being told what to do where to go what to buy how do dress. IG has taken that to a whole new level. Contouring wasn't a thing 10 years ago, and now the average 18 year old is walking around with a chiseled face, designed for a stage. RU-vid, IG etc has given the average person access to so much info they would have never been able to pry out of anyone. These celeb makeup artists, designers ...the whole industry of stuff and things is making so much damn money off it, it's just going to keep going in a vicious circle of sheep jumping off cliffs. I don't relate to these newfangled days. I'm a middle 30s white fish walking around asking the sky what the actual hell is all this.
The home life of the black community is cracked. Respectability is not an attraction but a deterrent. Priorities are skewed and ppl lose focus on God, the bigger picture,.... even just giving back. When an 11 yr old is expecting a $200 bag for her bday and doesn't know all 50 states there is a problem. Unfortunately that problem is everywhere, especially in predominantly black cities... Atlanta, DC, Houston, New Orleans.... we need to look at our priorities.
I wonder the same thing. :/ I have my own father telling me, "You are a beautiful girl, use your looks to get what you want!" And I'm like....look; I didn't struggle through highschool to graduate in the top ten of my class, then to grind for 6 years in college, earning two degrees and an internship just to lay back and rely on the dimples in my cheeks, and the titties on my chest. Theres absolutely NOTHING WRONG with carrying yourself with integrity and class and showing people that you have a huge wallop to give them that is within the shape and form of your intelligence, and not your ass. This Kim K inspired foolishness needs. To. Stop. NOW.
That is why I really believe that Alicia Keys & Gabrielle Union have adopted the "no make-up" movement. Basically, to separate from these type of Instagram women. So you take off the make-up I'm still talented as all get out. All I have to say is that Instagram girl needs to enjoy it while they can. It is pretty sad...
I agree, but the issue there still translates to the fact that those women are still conventionally deemed as "beautiful" by society's standards and are still holding onto attributes, like long weaves (curly or straight), tight dresses, etc., that allow them to still have cultural currency to move about within this world along the same avenues that a "Instagram model chick" would move so they haven't really changed much. Union and Keys talents don't even give them a leg up against there contemporaries because the actresses and singers with far less talent, but who are voluptuous and conventionally beautiful (i.e., the Beyoncé's* and the Halle Berry's*) are one upping them with less talent. *Note: I'm not saying these women aren't talented, but compared to individuals in their field with less traditional looks that aren't marketable and better split on talent, they are given more shine because they're more marketable.
AlphabetSoup, I hear you. But, let's talk digits... How much are these girlz paid and by whom? I mean, If they are bringing in the MONEY, like Alicia and Gabrielle then okay. But, then it will bring us back to the original points - enjoy it while it lasts and do something intelligent with the MONEY. That's what we trying to say. This pop culture on ever train to cuckoo-cuckooville. Can't hang your hat on that or be seen as living legends, get meaningful awards, etc. I'm all for folks doing them. We are just looking at the outcome...
I’m that educated girl you’re talking about. I’m the mom with a real offline “Claire Huxtable” type profession, with 2 kids taking them to school and daycare , and a regular non athlete non Hollywood man. Life isn’t selfies and filters. It’s homework, dinner, bath, bills rinse and repeat. Scrubs and yoga pants are the typical uniform for this doctor mommy. Bloody shoes and waist trainers are for special occasions and 30 inches of hair is only for date night. I wouldn’t trade my world for the instagram life for anything.
We live in a society where people want instant gratification. Why should I wait to drive a BMW when I can drive it now? Also, most men want a woman who looks like Kim K. That makes it very hard for the "average" woman to compete. I guess the "average" women are trying to see what the other woman are doing to attract and keep their men.
I believe our entire community's depth has deteriorated to nothingness. No one is teaching and speaking life into each other in order for folk to want to be better and not plastic. Great vid! I feel like this all the time, because as a people I believe we have so much more to offer than our appearance yet no one has tapped into their gifts. It's frustrating on all levels.
i think people are hungry for the recognition. these ig models make money off of what they do. just for looking a certain way. no talent or skills needed. just know your angles and lighting. and people want an easy way to make money or gain recognition.
Out of all your videos, I LOVE THIS one...you spoke the truth about it. As for my daughter I instill in her that those girls are selling their souls for a dollar, and to go to college brains will get you farther than beauty and this is a proven fact...like you said what happens when they get old, I tell her to think about your self worth and you future .
i think they still need to be motivated to get a degree or some type of professional certification. what they don't realize is that instagram modeling does not produce long-term wealth or financial stability. maybe it could if that money were wisely invested but you see the trends. get a little bit of money and immediately spend it so that you can appear to be balling.
So true Dineva. We haven't all traded in chile but I feel ya. As we continue to get WOKE, that IG and Reality TV mindset will diminish. Videos like this help even the scales. Speak on it! When they know better they'll do better.
You are speaking the truth. I am in law school and I talk about this with my female classmates all the time. Not to say you shouldn't like someone for their personality, BUT our male classmates don't want us.. they want girls who are instagram models. Their loss. Lol
Perception is everything. At least, that is how, most of all mainstream societies in this world believe. We, as human beings, adapt to environment, and are influenced by it. Women, from birth, have been influenced,by society's view of who she should be. As women, we are exposed to the oppression,and denial of the feminine consciousness in every way. However, we, as women, depend on this perception of us. The evolution of influence by society, and us, as women, allowing it, has brought us to how we see ourselves, and others like us today. IJS.
It comes down to folks wanting to be liked. IG is an app, and what I've come to realize is that once I close that app, I have to deal with my reality. There is nothing that IG can do for gas, lights, electricity, and the promotion I've accepted.
Well said and it's all so true but sad. I have to tell my daughter everyday that she is better then this mess on television and on Instagram get your education and keep it pushin. These young girls don't hear that they are beautiful the way they are. Society has continued to show them that the fake lips and backsides are what beauty is and that you don't have to have any substance.
I think more women today are just more willing to cater to shallow men which means there's a lot of weak minded women out there. My mother always told me to make myself happy before I try to impress or make someone else happy. It's really sad to see these grown ass women completely forming who they are from social media or by watching celebrities.
Great subject. This generation has no substance. With reality TV and music you can see the transition of the so called goals we should reach as a society. Its all in what you have and see. This is why marriages don't last, attention spans are slim to none, trends change by the minute. I wish we could reach back and obtain some of those old school traits which has played out for some reason.
why are we striving to live up to this standard? A very unnatural standard at that. Putting on a ton of makeup and getting all done up to take pictures for social media. Not truly taking care of ourselves- our mental selves and emotional selves, fit tea and waist trainers does not equate to being healthy. I've asked myself this and it's led to me making the decision to wear my natural hair everyday with my naps and edges that are not always laid because I ain't tryna get alopecia. I went from wearing makeup everyday to wearing it maybe once every 2 weeks because I want my natural skin to glow. I'm done with chasing a materialistic/superficial life. I'm doin me
I think it's just how life works. Waaaay back in the day, people were trying to look like hippies. In the 80's people wanted to look classy like Claire Huxtable. That faded, and now it's women who want to look like Kim K, Kylie Jenner or Nikki Mudurris. That's just how styles work, I guess. For instance, I remember when people shaved off their eyebrows or made them super pencil thin; my eyebrows have always been bushy, and I got made fun of. Fast foward to not even 10 years later, you see people trying to make their eyebrows similar to mine (though theirs is a lot neater lol). All these Kim K look-a-likes will pass within the next few years, and people will be on to something else.
I just love me some Funky Dineva. Dineva, you are educated, humorous, and insightful. I love you. Keep doing what you are doing. I agree with this video 1000%
I really agree with what you are saying regarding this topic. As a 21 year old college student with plans of attending medical school within the next year or two I jokingly make comments about just going to sleep and not staying up late at night for tests because I could easily buy a waist trainor, a bunch of make up from sephora and a bunch of other designer clothes and just become instagram famous or become a stripper. After watching the video it is very clear to me that the mindset that I have just described is in fact the mindset of many of the young girls my age and younger. Knowing this is the reason why I continue to work hard towards my dream of becoming a doctor so that in the future when I am on social media I can take pictures of me working and traveling around the world to show young girls that you can present yourself in a different aspect and still become successful and famous/popular. It is not all about what you see on social media, because half of the time the people on there are saving face because they may not know how they are going to pay their bills next month. #justsaying
A year later, and this is still a very relevant video. Miss Dineva I'd like to thank you for your presence in all our lives as your supporters. You express what we struggle to express with words. You are observant and patient in your feedback, and it's just good to just have a Dineva that gives a damn, and is trying to empathize with the everyday woman.🙏
As you said "hoes" is winning. That image is celebrated more often than anything. Until we stop rewarding this kind of behavior (meaningless and superficial) that's the only way it can change. We need both men and women to stand behind the real women who are about something and plant the seeds of owning "black girl magic" in short stop rewarding superficial images and behavior
missconze I agree with you but can't intelligent successful women be fine too? I'm not into the Miami thot look but I guess you don't have to be frumpy to be a "lady" anymore.
Kristin Wade oh absolutely! You can definitely be fly and intelligent :-) I think what happens is that we let those standards of beauty consume us that we lose who we truly are. By all means do what makes YOU feel good because YOU gotta look at yourself everyday in that good ol mirror ;-)
Dear God! Thank you for helping me raise a beautiful young lady who recently graduated with double honors from high school and is her first year in college majoring in computer engineering. A black girl who sees all this crap on social media, T.V. and magazines. Queenofweave916 you said it right. It was my job to teach my daughter about her self-worth. To honor her body and when she looks in the mirror, to LOVE what she sees. I will add this food for thought..... her dad is in her life and has been 1000%. So I ask, "Where are these "Instagram" chicks fathers"? God created man and women for a reason. Just like it takes a man and a women to make a baby, IN MY OPINION, it takes them both of them to make that child whole. Not saying single mothers haven't done a great job! Hat's off to you! I know fathers have been absent in our beautiful black girls lives and it shows on so many levels. Sorry to be preachy, but I just had to share my heart.
I can tell you why Q. Unfortunately in our society, IG chicks are beginning to be "the norm".If a woman doesn't look like an IG chick there must be something wrong with you. I am a teacher, and love being me. I am plus size beautiful woman. I do NOT want to be a clone IG chick. My daughter looks up to me, and I want her to know that she doesn't have to be an IG chick to be accepted. It is disappointing today because young girls have a lack of positive role models in social media.There is pressure put on women now to look like these clones. I am dating so it difficult to date because I do not fit the mold of the IG girl, men think there is something wrong with me because I don't want to look fake? It is shocking and disturbing how society is now. Q thank you for making this video. You are very on point! I was wondering why no one addressed this issue before. You are SO right. Amen! I want to be clear. Not all women on social media are negative or portray themselves negatively. We do have an abundance of these IG chicks though and a lack of the ordinary smart, hard working woman.
I'am raising a young woman who just turned 18 and will be graduating and going to college, this is one of my biggest concerns. I may not be the best single mother, but i have tried my best to instill values and make sure she knows her worth and the importance of education. somewhere someone failed these girls be it family or main stream media this new generation is lost.
we live in a society of narcissism promoted heavily by the media. This is designed to take our eyes off what is important- family values, morals and our crumbling socio economic system and this political charade between Hillary and Trump.
I don't know. But little Black girls were called ugly, bald headed, etc... Even if they were not, it was implied that their hair and looks were not good enough. So some (not all) are still insecure about their looks. So they decide to change themselves, and morph into the opposite of what they were called as a child.
As you have said in the past. "Social media has just fucked it up". See these Instagram models have represented a lifestyle that many women have aspired to live and be like,rather they want to admit it or not. This is also true for gay men as well. Almost every gay man praises the hypermasculine,muscled out dude who has a fat ass as well. Social media has given people more access into that form of lifestyle,so they mimic it to their best of their abilities seeking validation. Also education is fucked up as well. I graduated two years ago and currently enrolled for my masters and still can't find a decent internship. Whereas you have the Lira Galores of the world basically living off of their looks. Nothing more. The world is fucked up and unfair at this point.
It's a sad situation because although we're seeing "the look" and nothing more, some of these IG girls are probably really talented or smart in areas, but because they are not esteemed for being intelligent, it's almost like "why bother". I met a young lady recently who had that look. I complimented her on her shoes. As we waited in line, I learned that she had been in Nursing school, but she was now growing "her brand" via social media. I've yet to figure out what her brand consist of. So here it is a young woman has jumped ship on having something to work with just work what she has to, to keep up with what she wants.
Is this even an issue? What does the cost of your outfit or your hairstyle have to do with your education? Being pretty doesn't mean dumb, being sexy doesn't mean "hoe", and being plain doesn't mean educated.
NYCCHOCOLATE7777 you ain't lying. Nothing worse than going to a jook joint or a casino in a rural, southern, majority black town and seeing low income women try to emulate what they see on tv and the entertainment industry...
Why do people want to be famous these days? Let's face it - being an anonymous punter with a 9-5 job is nowhere as glamorous as fame, fortune and handbags. The Clair Huxtable ideal takes work and working towards goals - getting an education, self-sacrifice is not guaranteed to yield results in this day and age.
