First I lived in Las Vegas, which was a horrible place to try and find a husband and it was also always hot af. So I moved to the Mid West (OMAHA) at age 26. Found my ex, who was white and racist, but not racist (if you know what I mean). It was also humid af there. Hated it for my hair lol So I moved to Colorado at age 29 for another change of weather and type of men. This is where I met my now husband at 32. Absolutely love it here, and the weather is fantastic. My family told me during each move that I need to stop running from things every time I had a break up or didn’t like the weather. But I don’t feel like I was running, I was searching for better, and I found it.
My family literally said the same, and i was questioning myself until i read this.. i was and am looking for better... And that should be fine. 😂🤷🏼♀️ Im happy you found your spot.
Family can give you the worst advice sometimes. They aren’t you, and therefore don’t know your best interest. You clearly do know your best interest, which is why things are in your favor now
So...if you saw the first version of this video, I VERY CLEARLY showed the address where I get my mail. A wonderful patron reached out to me and told me I had done that and even provided a time stamp. So I tried to add a "blur" in the youtube editor and ended up blurring my face and the screen for like two minutes lol. I can't get rid of it now (the youtube editor is booboo doo doo garbage) but...the sensitive information s is hidden! So from about 50:46-51:14 my face, my eyes, my shoulder all have a huge blur on them. Live and learn! And thank you again to the wonderful person who originally informed me of this mistake! Also, I had to make it private so I could try and fix the issue...and all my comments went away 😭😭😭😭 And I actually loved this comment section!!! There's a first time for everything lol. Anyway...thanks for watching!
Understandable, Steph! Your honesty and the pivot you are experiencing is something I can completely relate to. I had to pull out my journal to write down “your requests are not going to change your assignment.” Wow!
Major girl crush on you. You are so wise and I love how you are speaking to us!!! You are SO relatable, I love how you dish out the real. Side note- you’re really pretty and smart!
This is why I'm here. It feels lonely when it seems everyone in your year group is grounded and you're yet to settle. I know better now. Everyone has their struggle but it can feel like its just you at times.
I understand you completely! I have a very similar story. Also majored in film and entertainment, had a horrible internship that killed my dream to work in the film industry, went into teaching, hard time finding love(have never had a boyfriend, only gone out on two dates). I only stayed closed to two college friends which I love to death, but unfortunately live in another city. I get you sis.....I get you.
Packing tip: for hung cloths leave on the hangers and put a heavy duty trash bag over them, poking a hole for the hanger, and then tie at bottom. No packing required ✨
damn, I relate so heavily to the bouncing around with jobs and in life. Hearing “you just don’t wanna work”, like no, I just wanna do something that is actually fulfilling that doesn’t cripple me emotionally. Lol omg you are literally so funny and entertaining, tysm!
The beginning about moving was really eye opening. As the child of a single mother we moved a lot and I kind of resented my mom because I don’t have childhood friends but now I realize we moved because things didn’t work out and she was just trying to find a place to put down roots.
I’m a single mother and I put a lot of effort into making and maintaining friendships for my child even after we moved out of the country. Our family lived far away so I know that feeling of being rootless. He’s had close friends for 5 years now. Video and phone calls help. God bless you for having grace for your mom. Best wishes to you.
Stephco we’re in the same boat. I’ve moved from Alabama, Georgia, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, Alabama trying to get a desired salary, career…. Each time I was slapped with the Great recession, workplace stress and anxiety, workplace bullying, covid, family deaths and low pay…. I’m currently working for a marketing agency but the pay is low and I’m looking to move for work Again.
I’m in my late 20s. I’ve moved so much & had so many cool experiences. I transferred colleges 4 (maybe even 5) times, dated lots of men, worked jobs that are extremely different from each other and seem to switch friend groups every 2 years or so (just growing apart mostly due to location). But I’ve actually never considered it as a negative thing. I’ve always felt like it was so cool and brave to move a ton, try everything and never settle. It makes for great memories and fun conversations. I’ve said this before on another one of your videos, but I think you’ve already lived SUCH a full life with so much more to go. I just love your life. I love listening to every story you tell about it. I truly can’t get enough. You really inspire me to live.
I hate that this platform has not been kind to you, but I hope, from the balls of toes that you know that you are a much needed space on this platform. You speak for me and many, many other women that relate to your life journey. You are amazing and finding you on here was the best thing to happen to me online. You give me so much hope, make me feel less alone in my experience and valid in those experiences.
I’m not a quarter thru your video but I can’t believe someone has had the same turbulent experience I had since graduating university in 2010. I have had short stints at everyone job I have had, even one abroad teaching. The ups and downs have become a way of life for me, but I cringe and a sense of shame is evoked when I’m asked about what I’m upto and the look of “again?” or “what happened with the last job?” on people’s face. It’s hard to justify being in your mid thirties and always embarking on something new every few years because things obviously didn’t work out at the last place. Anyways, I’ll continue watching but thanks for voicing a concern some of us have experienced and the emotions that go along with it 😊
So true. I have lost count with how many jobs and the number of times I’ve moved. Good to find other people with turbulent lives in their mid 30s too. It’s been a good learning curve for finding out what I do like & finding my strengths. I’ve come to a place where I value my journey & I’m happy with my efforts.
I had a similar experience after graduating in 2005 and then again in 2009 from my masters. My work experience only stabilised in my mid 30s but it was very difficult - I also wish I knew about ad agencies and roles like corporate communications and copywriting. I think it's also easier for people if they have a partner. I have a friend in her early 30s who has had a lot of issues with work over the past several years, but her partner she lives with has a stable well-paid job and that's enabled her to always take the time off she needs to find the next job or leave somewhere she didn't like instead of sticking it out to pay the rent.
@@AMMA83 Thanks so much. I couldn’t agree more. I even thought many times if having a partner would make a difference. Glad to hear your prospective and will keep pushing forward 😊
I had the same experiences right out of college. Once I was rotting behind the desk of a dead-end job and overheard a nurse who was married to a doctor call one of their dentist friends to get her mediocre, screw-up son a prestigious internship. Just like 💥 that 💥 his party-boy, DUI, C-Average GPA was forgiven and he was well on his way to the good life. I knew right then what being experience rich and network poor meant.
But most people don't have that privilege. Most of us grew up middle class (or lower middle class as I did) and we just have to work hard or make do or (sometimes) fail. Privileged people are very few. The guy's father worked REALLY hard to get into med school. We strive to be successful so our children will have that privilege. Your parents and my parents couldn't do that, though they did other things to make sure we had food on the table, money for school supplies and a roof over our head. Some children have far less and even negligent or abusive parents. It is your job and my job to try hard to get into med school or some other career so we can be solid middle class or upper middle class so our children can take golf lessons or go skiing or have that incredible internship or know friends who'll become captains of industry or afford an expensive college or have an inheritance. We are all dealt some challenges in life. We have to try our best without resenting others who got to the punchline first.
@@ampa4989 I should hope you don’t resent those who have more access to certain resources. I agree there is no reward in being a jealous tether. You just have to hold your own and make your way, just as I have. Good luck.
@@ampa4989 or maybe prestigious internships shouldn't go to those who are choosing to f*uckup and go to those that earn and deserve it. nepotism breeds resentment and incompetency.
@@marie-francoiset9402 Usually, it's meritocratic. After all, companies and institutions want to attract talent. And this one sounds like just a gig with a dentist. But if not, again, that's the reason we work hard -- so our children will have a good life. It's like our mothers used to say. We have to be twice as good (as the rich or the connected or whatever). Life's not fair.
Community is a difficult one, personally I found love ‘easier’ to find. I’m in Ireland at the moment and love my job and partner but I wouldn’t say that I necessarily have a community here
Sheesh I moved and moved to get the salary and work life I desired. I also moved this month and started a new job. I am an engineer I have finally got to where I desire. I plan to stay here for Atleast 2-4 years. For me 2 years is a long time lol. I’m 28. Where I am now is beyond my wildest dreams so I’m here to stay hopefully 😅😅
Had a hard time getting a decent paying job after college. Took me going back into a different field to actually find success. I love your realness. Like a RU-vid friend 🥰
I felt so much of what you discussed. I'm currently in a version of what you experienced post-college -- I'm an attorney and hating every second of it. I couldn't find a job in the specialization I wanted for over a year so I just took what I could get, and I've never been more consistently miserable in my life. Depression on 1000. I've long since realized that it's not what I'm "meant" to do in life (which was only confirmed when I recently saw that my moon and my midheaven are opposite on my birth chart LOL) so I'm now trying to figure out what that is, perhaps embracing the idea that no one is "meant" for anything and it's just about figuring out what you have access to that is most compatible with your lifestyle despite not being perfect. And also being single, with friends scattered all across the country, and a family that can't be relied upon... a lot of hard life shit happening right now. Hope it all makes sense eventually because... this ain't it lmao
i feel it. i just graduated college and there is no love or community where i live so i decided to not wait for the money. I have friends all over but they’re all taken and my family is yk. family with their own lives. it’s all about finding what’s meant for us and it’s gonna take us longer. we’re going to figure it out tho
When I tell you I see you and hear you. I also feel like what people are meant to do is different for everyone. Some people were set up to succeed at what they without really thinking about while others still can’t find anything. I believe what is meant for you will be, just keep trying to find the answers and don’t give up on wanting your joy and peace
I work for a big tech company in Florida and we have attorneys in our legal dept. They make sure our business is following the cybersecurity guidelines for the U.S. and they read over out contracts with our clients and vendors. There was a black girl who was our general counsel I believe and she left to become a VP of another tech company. Maybe try and get into a legal dept of a tech company. Great pay, benefits, fun environment. You can do your law thing but still be in a relaxed environment.
That was me - those last 10 lines you wrote. I just hung in there with “patience and prayer”. Took tennis lessons, played tennis with friends, took swim lessons, organized old photos, dated sometimes, worked hard to pay off school loans, found joy and laughed as much as I could and just hoped life would one day improve. Sending hugs and prayers to you.
I relate so much to graduating and not being able to find work smh. I graduated in Jan 2020 with a bachelor's degree in Communications/Media and haven't found anything yet. I get ghosted alot, even when I'm aggressive (not in a bad way) but yea 2 1/2 years down and [redacted] to go. Wish me luck 🙏🏾😂 love this video 💕
Get a Master's/MBA in any field. With any Bachelor's degree you can get a Master's even in Business Analytics/Cybersecurity . Try find scholarships or an affordable school. I have a degree in Arts and applying for Master's in I.T related course. Guaranteed employment, good pay, good benefits. Wish me luck and good luck to you too
@@user-br1mq1ue9b I've been working in a hospital for 4 years so I'm working but the medical field isn't for me. Production and screenwriting is what I really want to do. But I know a lot of people advocate for nursing(in my life as well) and I understand it's just not for me.
@@cutecurlypuffs112 just some thoughts: have you tried nonprofit work? Like being the communication person for a nonprofit org. They’re usually looking for someone like that. You can also find a nonprofit org that focuses on your interests and fully transition into production & screenwriting.
I’d rather be on the move every couple years. People who stay over 5 years in one place get tunnel vision and become jaded. Humans are naturally nomadic.
I love this so MUCH!!!. SO nice to have "not having arrived" at a certain age normalized. Im thinking abt going back to school to make more money. Im.30 and Im searching for permanence as well.
Sweetie... sounds like you should consider becoming a digital nomad and expating the US. I've lived in Guatemala (the men in Guatemala LOVE our curves) and now in Colombia (baby girl!!!!!!)
@@Nessajess7 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Z2HH_7LSHOA.html There are so many RU-vidrs who are female, black and living abroad...here's just one
@@Nessajess7 ...ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-d5KtW1PFCZk.html. This is one of my favorites, her videos inspired me to take the leap and in DO NOT regret it
fifteen minutes in and I can totally relate...have been between four states since 2008 (Virginia for an internship, Pennsylvania, Chicago for graduate school and Florida where I worked for Disney for the last 8 years) and I have zero regrets...I'm well travelled if nothing else...and also who says one has to commit to living in one place forever?...I don't think I could...I'll be a snowbird (live in Florida in the winter and back up here in PA for the summer...that's my ideal living situation) Edit: no you’re not boring for wanting to live where there are a lot of trees. I could go for that right now lol
Guuurrrlll....you is me, me is you! Sending you love and unicorn sprinkles from NJ! I'm a married BWM age 43 and my spouse is a 50 yr old WM...I say this to let you know you are seen and it does get better when you least expect it.
"Maybe this is not my assignment and that's why my requests don't matter here!" SIS, often we translate being shoved into the corner as an indictment on our ability, character or talent when perhaps...just maybe..it's the complete opposite! We have abilities that supercede the opportunity we are asking for and ppl simply don't know what to do with us. MAAM THAT ONE SECTION OF THIS VIDEO WAS AN ENTIRE SERMON!!!
Another great video! Your ability to be vulnerable is so empowering. I totally identify with simply wanting to create and comfortably exist. I was way too afraid to really forge my own path ( wanted to pursue fashion journalism while living in a tiny country town. Talk about needing to know someone to get your foot in the door!). I also briefly taught preschool and spent my 20s essentially trying what was available around me. From one "weirdo" to another, I grew up very sheltered but was recently afforded the opportunity to work remotely and travel with a partner around the country. I've never had the chance to really spread my wings when it comes to building or finding my own community. I've always had a best friend (we met in daycare and are friends to this day) and I had a similar college experience of finding people who got me. Being away from friends/family has definitely highlighted my social deficits but hearing your story of trying to find satisfaction and coming to a place of acceptance has made me feel less alone during my own journey.
Steph, continue to tell your not so unique story. Your life as a whole is uniquely yours but each experience that you went through resonates with so many. It gives so many others a voice. Yes hard work plays a part, but so does luck. Some of us are lucky to be in the right place at the right time to get their foot in the door, meet the right person, etc. I got into teaching because there were no jobs in my field when I graduated. The economy hadn't recovered from September 11. I know you don't enjoy moving, but I do. If I could, I'd explore a new city every few years. Nothing wrong with that. But I respect that others don't feel that way. Either way, people shouldn't feel ashamed of how far they've come as long as they tried. I stopped caring what everyone thinks a long time ago. I'm glad you're letting go of what doesn't serve you and letting Peace and in...and we all look like that at home 🙂
I can't believe people just say the worst things to people they're supposed to be friends and family with. I always give my people the benefit of the doubt.
i knew you were a journalist! i'm an ex-journalist myself, and a pisces. i had to leave running from all those print lies. i switched into technical writing waaay back before you could get a degree in it. not the most exciting, but my ends definitely wrap around quite well...
I really completely understand this. I have lived many countries and cities because I prefer to be flexible and maneuver through opportunities. I purchased a home last year and I have been toiling with selling and moving again because I am just feeling the urge. I am ready for new scenery, new opportunities, new faces, new spaces.
I’m 30 and I’ve moved every 1-2 years across Illinois since I’ve moved out of my parents home in my early 20s. I like to go when I want something “better” and as I (any my pockets) grow, I want my space to as well. I’ll stop moving when I feel like I’ve moved in a place I can stay long term. I don’t have a partner or kids keeping me in one place, though I don’t desire to really move outta state. But, if I do I can.
I just love you so much. No other creator holds a candle to you in my book (ok except Lexual & Shanspeare but they do a VERY different thing). You're about to get another Patreon subscriber next month (I just gotta buy this house real quick FIRST, lol).
From a fellow weirdo I HEAR YOU!!!! And I LOVE SILENCE!!! JUST WANT A HOUSE ON A FEW ACRES OF LAND! And Facts just be glad if people show up to your Birthday Dinner 😂
Omg! This video made me feel so much better about my adult life. I just turned 32 and currently live in Houston. Lately I feel the lack of community. Sometimes it feels good just to know you’re not the only one. ☺️💕
ur so lucky you got out of LA i hate it here lol! I say if you wanna move why not? life is too short do what you want and its a free country so move wherever you want...
Even if you don’t update often on RU-vid anymore, I’d prefer these longer chats/reflections than multiple 10-20 mins clips. I love hearing your thoughts.
Steph your life literally mirrors mine!!! I had a horrible case of GERD! & I had little sympathy at a job I didn’t even like!! My boss was so mean to me ! I had to take time off & it was just horrible!! & before that I was going from Job to job because I couldn’t find anything with my bachelors degree! And my parents said the same thing.. that I didn’t wana work but I just couldn’t get my dream job!! Now Finally I got my dream job!! God is good!!! Never give up🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽💕💕💕💕💕p.s & I also moved a lot recently too! In 2 yrs I moved 4 times LOL!! & moving during covid wasn’t easy!! But I’m also in my dream location living downtown 🙏🏽💕
The timing of your videos is always on key. I swear we’re living the same life. Moved to Miami from a small town and then the pandemic happened and I decided to move back home. But mentally I’ve been struggling with letting Miami go. I miss the fast life and the action. But here at home I can actually afford to buy a house, my family is there for me and it’s a better quality of life. I want to live in a big city but I’m so torn.
Whenever I see a Stephco video I get soooo excited and it's a one hour video? Omg let me get a hot cup of tea..I'm about to have the best one hour of my day. This is like the gift that keeps giving. I love you Steph!!!!!!
Steph: I did invest in a couple wigs…”invest”, they were all like $50 When I tell y’all I cackled and howled 😂😂😂😂😂 I don’t wear wigs but stephs personality is just so me! The sarcasm but reality that people really paying $1200+ for a wig! But hey If you got it get it!
I really resonate with this video because I feel like I have changed addresses so many times the past 5 years. I lived with my mom, then my dad, then I moved out for two years and during the pandemic I moved back to my dad’s again 🤣. I really want to be fully independent now that I am turning 24 but I am a recent graduate with student loan debt. I finally got a job after being unemployed for so long but I still don’t make enough money to live on my own. Definitely not in this Economy and inflation lol.
This whole video you are PREACHING. I've moved a lot throughout my adulthood and I'm really trying to find "HOME" it makes me feel better that other people trying to "Adult" feel the same ❤️
super relatable. You're on the money about how we all didn't have the same experience during the 08 recession. Some of us are still going thru the consequences and others left unscathed. It's not one event that derails you, but a series since careers and opportunities are often escalatory.
I'm 18 min in, but I have to stop and say this. The first video of yours I watched was the "I thought I met my future husband..." and in that video I remember you saying that at one point you were afraid you'd become happy and people would stop watching your videos and at the time I didn't get, but watching this one I understand were you're coming from. People relate to you because of your sad stories, but I do have to say that I admire your perspective on life because despite your struggles you tell your story with grace!! PS: I'm studying to work at a daycare and all this comments about it have been scaring me! kkk But anyway I wish you all the best! Let's get back to watching the video.
Man…I can relate to this topic so much. Life is tough. My journey has been crazy. People think I’m making up stories when I share my experiences throughout my career. I have been scolded for “job hopping” and always moving. But it all helped me finally figure out my life purpose at 38 years old. Your advice is on point. Do what works for you. Yes!!!!
Yea I remember working in a daycare as well and never returning after a week. It wasn't what I wanted. But I did want to be a teacher. Then I was discouraged from doing it full time by other retried teachers 😩. They're like tutor SATs and stuff so now I do that as a part time along with working at a tutoring center. Hoenstly I don't wanna teach full time either. I enjoy writing novels and published 1 so far. But I've been stuck in a writers block loop for a while now! I feel that I'm not doing much but the $ from tutoring is ok. I feel that friends and fam are waiting on me to get that license and teach full time or go back to school for my masters but I don't want any of that! I don't think I'd make it through 😩.
If you have a passion for teaching, do it. I teach and I love what I do. I honestly love my fellow teachers and my students. As someone who deeply crave connection and pure, open love, working with children is the best. I work in elementary, so that’s very different from working with the older kiddos, but it’s the best. I feel less lonely and worthless. They can be little jerks, but adults are also jerks, too, but at least the kids have a chance of changing and will apologize when encouraged.
You are doing great sweetie! I didn't know your undergrad history. Thank you for sharing. We have similar stories but I left the country to teach overseas after getting a degree in a completely different field. Moving is stressful and hard, give yourself grace that you managed to do all of that. Rest and take it easy in your new space.
Steph you need to come and live in the UK you would fit right in with black people here and we don’t say things like ‘only white people so that’ You would find community and wealth and love I’m certain of it
I feel the same way. I graduated undergrad and wanted to work in Hospital Admin but couldn’t find a job to save my life. The sucky part was that I had experience working as a medical receptionist. So, I thought finding a job would be easy. But in my city, the SPANISH-speakers really lucked out in that field! Even if they didn’t have any experience, they would a job because of their ability to speak Spanish! I also became teacher, unfortunately. I’m STILL a teacher, unfortunately. I’m switching over to become a School Psychologist next year. My compensation is decent. I make low six-figures but my city is expensive and so is gas. I don’t have a partner either. I’ve lived in this city my whole life and don’t feel like I belong here. I hate the 4 seasons. I’m trying to move to San Diego next year. Every time I’m there, I feel like I belong there. Hopefully, I am right.
@@illigirl768 yea, my city and school district is one of the few in the country where most or many teachers earn 6-figures. I’m excited to transition into a role as a School Psychologist. Thank you! ☺️
@@jaida9468 not yet. I graduate next month! ☺ But I will begin working as a School Psych this upcoming school year. Finally almost done with teaching; just 2 months left!! 🎉
OMG..you're a born storyteller. I can see your stories in short 30 minute animated videos, with you as the narrator and I mean real animated characters, not those stick figures.💯
Whew! The first 6 minutes and I feel like you're THE only person I've EVER met who understand my exact experience! And I'm probably 10-20 years older than you. Thank you for your videos.
Steph, for what you release to us on your channel, I get you. You have the language and courage to show me what I couldn’t express in my early adulthood. Now I’ve just turned 50 and I’m now comfortable in my skin and my lot in life. You’re getting there.
Have you ever moved to Jersey close to NY? Close to Broadway easy to commute somewhat cheaper then LA. Access to production and you can live out in the burbs. I did buy a house years ago so my mortgage of is 2k that is some people's rent. I should have bould a 3family. Ps.get your real estate license. It is a also.amgood side hustle.. It will also allow you to have inside on buying a home if you want one and you meet a lot of people you can do it part time make good money.
I love, love your natural look. I stop ordering those boxes 2 years ago....lol.....just more stuff I probably won't use, but off the topic. I love your nails!!! What color/design is that? Anyway, good luck on setting up in your new place(:)
You need to find community in different places. I am considered a weird person. Blk girl immigrant sitting in many cultures. I felt weird in my marriage meaning he never tried to get me..I felt like I was always trying to meet his needs him never mine. I.am naturally a bubble person but sometimes it starts to feel you have to be to keep the energy level where you need it.
We are human.life is what it is as your are living. Ps write a book Call it life is odd Or I feel like.and alien. Or.Life is not what it seems Make it into a series novel.
Stephanie, I totally understand what you are saying on ALL of your points "on a cellular level"! And I am some years older than you. But I say THAT to say THIS ... I have struggled with all of these things (in my own way) my entire adult life as well. From not making the money I would have liked to make, to not feeling community, to the love thing, to the health issues. For so many years I have felt like no one gets it. So, thank you for sharing your thoughts! 💓💓
Thank you!!! As someone who has had moments of transition in my past, due to life literally lifing. The judgement we receive is so unjust and irritating. God bless I love your channel and the honesty you share 💜
Stephanie, im a similar age and a lifelong 'weirdo' 😂😂😂. Im a British Indian with a very posh voice from 1st generation immigrant Indian parents. I have been ridiculed every where i was as a child. I never belonged or fit in any group and further as an adult. I have very few but amazing friends i never had a die hard "group". I was a coconut to the Indian kids, i was a brown nerd to the English kids and a person with a huge variety of interests and tastes in music and culture etc. Ive found that its ok that ill never be popular. Ill never be a zeitgeist person. Im probably a very old eccentric soul and thats ok. One day i hope you see how special and unique and kind you are just for being that bridge between people. What i have found is, that others ridicule those who can appreciate things they dismiss easily. Their mindsets are fixed and rigid and they sadly, can only experience life in black or white. You experience a multitude of colours and tones. That in and of itself is a gift. You're like sunshine 🌞, keep shining and eventually everyone's mood will lift and they wont even know why 😊 I hope your person finds you soon Xx
