I still miss my abusive ex 

I don’t miss the abuse. Abuse was about 10% then 20 then 30% then eventually more.. I miss the time in between. I miss the strong connection the person I knew in and out like no other, the person I laughed with before it all turned bad. It’s ok to grieve the loss of what was good but remember nothing was worth or life or emotional health. I hope one day I have a healthy love but I can’t imagine loving anyone else right now. Divorce final next week. I left but it’s still hard.

It hurts so much. He was my best friend and my whole world. I spent every free moment i spent with him. Even if he destroyed me mentally and hurt me physically i just worry how he is now that we broke up. I wanna hold him and make sure hes okay. No matter how many horrible memories i have this is feels worse bc i dont have him here to comfort me like i did in those moments. Im free but i feel aimless :(

I'm a man but I'm still missing my abusive ex. Pain is love because love is a doorway directly into the heart. Pain only comes because of love. She would have been perfect if not for the abuse, accusations and emotional trauma she was causing. I'm not missing the abuse, I'm missing the other extreme, the passion the whirlwind of euphoria. I am miserable with her, and miserable without her, but I know it's wrong to stay with her. My heart still misses her though.

It’s been 6yrs. And I’m still not over him. I’ve tried to date. And always compare them to him. Makes me sick I can’t move on

I keep wanting him back and unblocking him. I’m really struggling

She hurt me constantly. She was an avoidant attached personality and constantly stone walled me and ghosted me. Of course she wasn’t initially this way but she slowly became this way. I will always miss her…I tried helping her with her traumas but she refused help.

Thank you for making this type of content, it’s invaluable for so many survivors of abuse. Thank you, my ex gets out of prison soon, it’s been two years since the incident that put him there, and I still fucking find myself missing him. Your video has helped ease some of my self hatred and anger and think more broadly about the situation, thank you again.

I am going through a breakup right now, I left my abusive partner not even 2 weeks ago after finding him talking to other women (I already knew this for months but never left but had a dream that night hat told me to get out) and all I want is to go back, that’s all I want, it’s so hard. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and he just keeps messaging me saying he will change and I’m falling for it ! I have not gotten out of bed, haven’t ate or drank anything and my body just feels exhausted and sore, I literally feel so alone and that I’d be better off dead then feel like this. All I want is to be back in he’s arms, I feel like no one else can take this pain away.

Oh this exactly what I felt a week ago wanting mine back after 6mths. I felt not enough. This makes sense

I needed to hear you Right Now!!!! Thank you 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️❤️❤️

Wow this is so deep to the core and helpful

Im still missing my abusive boyfriend after break up week ago.i don't want to feel this anymore its gonna makes me crazy😢😢

This is what I needed thank you

6 months on the pain today is terrible. Cant take many more days like this.

🥰 This is great Lani!!! Omg yes! I so used to believe that pain equaled love. And put SO much energy into changing the aspects that I couldn't control 🤮 Having NO blame is totally the most freeing feeling ever and take responsibility while learning how to love myself and face the fear of being alone. Thank you SO much for reconnecting me to my beautiful true LOVE memories too 🥰 & for giving me the tools to heal these broken beliefs, to heal myself and raise my standards🙏This queen will also never be in an abusive relationship, ah that feels so fkn awesome to say and know! 👑🥰🌊🔥💓 Love you SO much, thank you gorgeous QUEEN 👸💓🥰💚🙏

Thank you. I really needed this video. God bless you

I needed that, Thank You.

Thank you. I needed this.

Amazing sister! So inspiring and changing the world

Going through this right now as of yesterday while my ex isn't serially abusive he's done it a couple times over the course of four years and has been consistently verbally abusive throughout, we broke up once, but got back together when I got into University and now we're living together. I gave him the benefit of the doubt when we got back together that it wouldn't happen, but it's gotten worse, throwing soda in my face, pushing me and punching my arm. I came back home and he looked so guilty and heartbroken, knowing that we can't go on together, we wanted a future together and had so many plans that were just stopped abruptly. He's always been understanding of his behavior it seems, but doesn't know how to deal with my mental health issues ( I struggle with depression and anxiety). Now that we're broken up, but I have to live here until I can find a new place (I'm in my senior year of college), I have no clue what I'm going to do. Even he's said that I need to move out ASAP or else we risk getting back together, idk what to do.

Thank you, this is a good first step

Thanks for the video ❤

Thank you so much for this video

Thank you for this

Thanks for this 😘xxx

, have to watch this💛

Thank you!

Thank you

I had depression for years before meeting my ex. She lovebombed the hell out of me, made me alive/happy for the first time in i don't know...gave me these fake promises that she would care for me. I thought I had found the one. Then the abuse started i tried to put up with it but I couldn't anymore and broke up with her. I felt so lonely and depressed wanting to die without her. I actually begged for her to take me back but she refused. I think she has already found new narc supply. I feel like dying everyone tell me to "get over it" my family says im "pathetic" and "weak" my friends said I made the right decision but I want my ex back at least I love and support that felt genuine unlike now...

I just seen him again and I hate myself I needed to find these because I’m so confused because I’m trying to get a restraining order lol looks like that won’t be happening but truly I should have known he came to try to get me to drop charges i finally put on him

I AM A FUCKING QUEEN!!!! PERIOD!!!

I relate so much

He said he would change......nope.....but tried him.......nope..... Be alone....is scary but I'm telling my sons abuse is no good.

Thankyou

Its been 6 months, I saw her 2 days ago and its really thrown me, I think I miss her but how can I.

Yes my parents were toxic.....

After 1 month i again started to my bf.. he said he talk to other girls.. before he used to say he don't have any female friends.. 2 days back he abused me he said he ll not leave those girls.. he abused me badly said slut whore bitch n said get lost to me n thn blocked me.. i thought he love me truly.. I accepted his proposal coz he was behind me but now everything is changed i never expected that he ll do like this with me..😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I was horribly abused by my mother … I never got any love because she told me to not bother my father .. My father cared about me but there was abuse but MY MOTHER WAS TORTURE! I turned to teachers pet and animals.. I even try to have friends and they abused me and when one friend I had I idolized , she left me !! I cried and cried and threw my stuff around my room! I had no one … I was labeled a BRATT… Today I have yet had a healthy relationship.. Except I got out 5 yrs less than my last… I seriously was turned on by an dominant man and I would submit to him… He Discarded Me and blocked me after 3 and half years over catching him in a lie and it didn’t have anything to do with another woman..He couldn’t just admit he was wrong… A 58 year old man ! Absolutely insanity! I am getting help and being led by the Word of God … Because no human or myself can fix me .. I turned to the Love of Jesus.. and I am changing .. because it is he who is greater in me then he who is in the world… I Need Jesus First … Everything else is temporary in this world.. I am in an outpatient program who deals with trauma and I have to love and heal that little girl who no one loved.. when I miss my abuser , I know now It isn’t because I loved him it’s the addiction over and over and over again that plays out… The first red flag was there .. on the first date… Then the next red Flag was so much redder than the first.. I should have left in the first red flag but there should have been no rationalize for the redder one.. That was by 5 days Instead I left after 3 and half years later… I got Sick and tired and I knew He would destroy me because I would allow it… My responsibility to myself was to leave and not go back by 7 th time of leaving I was finished! I am addicted to him like a drug… No program will work.. Unless I am READY JUST LIKE A DRUG ADDICT .. YOU HAVE TO BE READY…Just as much as I want him to get help… That’s how STRONG IT IS FOR ME TO CHANGE..