I told my son not to write me  

He is the A. How do you blame a kid for being angry that you ruined his family unit? The fact that he reached out again and genuinely tried to make amends shows that the kid is more of an adult than the guy.

Completely a prick. Ok, you fell out of love with your wife. Buy you didn't have to be cruel to her or your son. What you did was hard for him and he was angry. Then when he apologized, your first reaction is to tell him you don't want him? You love your new family but not him? Your wife is right. If you do that to your son, you deserve to get the same from her. Be a man.

​​@@GldnClawhow did he try make amends? Saying he wants to meet? Thats not making amends thats demanding other to do as you please eventhough you knowingly tried to brake OP as a child. Making amends would be seeking forgiveness and making sacrifices for them.

​@@GldnClawthe fact that the kid said, I hate you guts I don't want anything to do with you, and cut contacts with him no years later bro has the audacity to send him some pathetic apology message and now doesn't expect the same treatment his father got, and I know you are telling the op to grow up but shouldn't the son be moving on since he is all grown up now cuz it looks like he has growing up to do he should know better than to message the man he cut contacts with and wanted nothing to do with

He sounds like he has alexithymia and has no emotions outside of anger and frustration.

Yes he cam because he continued no contact till he got his first child

Yes he fucking can

Some people don't realize their attitudes or how they affect someone until they're put in that same situation. Could be that when he had his child, he thought about what fatherhood would look like in the years to come and reflected on his treatment of his own father.

@@corrincarter8791 not his fathers problem

​@@corrincarter8791 tf? He was a kid?? Wth do u want him to understand it? And its not like he can justforget a trauma likethat tf yall yapping

The father gave his son therapy. Got 50/50 custody to spend time with him and the son abandoned him. Even as a child, he was 13. Not a child but young teenager already. And what should the dad do? He didnt love his wife anymore. Whats the point of staying married with someone who you dont love? And dont forget, the son didnt inform him about any major milestone he reached like graduation and wedding.

⁠@@MichaelHain.wow, he gave the son therapy, so great, no wonder his 13 year old son abandoned him, he made his mom cry for a week straight and all the kid could do was watch, he’s 13, he’s a fucking child, how else did you expect him to respond to the man who left his mom crying for a week, even then, the dad NEVER tried to contact the child again after this

​@@MichaelHain. do you not understand the meaning of responsibility? he destroyed his family just because if felt like it. no child wants to see their parents separate. if he can do whatever he want so can the sun. if I was him I wouldn't have contact him at all. don't worry his new children won't respect him either.

​@@MichaelHain. so buy your logic if I break every bone in your body all I have to do to make up for it is pay your hospital bills. understood. 😅

​​@@MichaelHain.Well guess what therapy is not a magic bullet. It takes time to work. And also if you want your child and therapy you better put your goddamn self in therapy. Because 88% of the time children do better in life when their parents are in therapy. Also, I just love it how you expect the emotional maturity of an adult out of an 11-year-old. But the grown ass man behaving like a child that's completely forgivable. This guy needs to grow up and he needs to grow up fast or his kids are going to realize what a monster he is.

How the dad tried to be there but the son wouldn’t let him the son even admitted it in his letter to the dad he was horrible to him

​@@legacyplays6050 dad had a hissy fit when his son was finally and adult and not a child so I'd say the kid won in the end, that fathers second family has a risk of being abandoned again cuz he got bored again lmao

​@@legacyplays6050 basically the father up and left his family with no notice or attempts to fix anything when there was nothing wrong such as cheating ... The son trying to reconnect with his father is indeed better than him how long do you think his mother cried?

@@blastphantomgames6369he tried to be there he didn’t just abandon him do you actually listen he tried to be there.

@@legacyplays6050 dad being angry at his 13 year son for that type of mistake is the lamest thing a grown up can do, if that's how he is with every thing then he might have to change that attitude, life's too short to have a grudge against something like that 💅

excuse you? his SON was the one who didn’t try to reconnect and cut him off,,

​@@Itzz..lauren.yeah at 11 years old after watching his father rip apart their family

@@Itzz..lauren. he is a child. Saw how his mother was and assumed that his father was to blame. are you held accountable for everything you did in your teen years? Probably not. Op needs to grow up. He’s the asshole for not even trying to fix things with his son.

@@Itzz..lauren. Because he was 12!

@@benjamintic3653 and so am i???

I am okay with being held to anything i did after the age of 6 because my parents raised me first to think for myself and secondly to be responsible. Ironically this lead to me not caring with people including them thought of my actions.

@@GeninGeo So you're telling me when you were 7. If you punch the kid and that guy. When you were 24 came up to you and punch you back and said. Hey, this is for this reason. You take responsibility for it and be fine with it. I didn't say he didn't have to take responsibility. I just said he shouldn't necessarily be completely held to it. And also he didn't a 100% under this day in the situation, not once did he. Mention that he had actually explained it to his kid

@@GeninGeo Also pretty dumb with you to make assumptions about me with Knowing zero information about who I am

it’s ok because he’s actually grown up and maintained NC up until he had a child. so it’s not the actions of a 13 year old but actually those of an adult.

​@@katelynnleclerc8717your comment makes you look dumb I'd take it off or are you used to saying stupid things

Agreed. Dude's smokin!

​@@ladybluelotusTell me, if it was a woman who decided that she was not happy in the marriage and filed for divorce, would you have said the same thing that you agreed upon? Apparently a man should just "man up" and be miserable the rest of his life and serve as a slave sacrificing his happiness and mental health all for the sake of family isnt it?

⁠@@shadabkhan-sy3spMore me the divorce part isn’t the problem at least the way he wrote about it made the divorce seem very sudden and he showed no empathy or remorse towards the family he suddenly just abandoned. Divorce is never easy and people have a right to their own happiness but the way he went about just makes him seem like an AH

@@terryanisaurasrex2207 Usually divorce happens that way. Once you lose your feelings towards your SO its damn near impossible to gain it back. He said in the story that they started drifting apart years ago and it looked like he tried to stay for the child. But after a few years he realised it will not work so he filed for divorce. That was his right. You will find this type of divorce very common nowadays. And usually it's the women who blindside the men with this type of divorce.

​@@shadabkhan-sy3sp okay incel 😂

She shouldn't have been surprised you are telling me she didn't know they were drifting apart for 12 straight years.

@@Jaelen74He should’ve still told her about this and try to fix things or talk about a divorce with her.

@@superkhangfn8593 It takes 2 people in a marriage if she doesn't make effort why should she have to

​​​​​@@Jaelen74Communication is key to a good relationship, bro. Also, what if his 1st wife was someone who was fine with rare interactions (Because that's who she is)? She sees him still in the marriage after 11 years and thinks the relationship is fine, he hasn't complained or stated his dissatisfaction to her being distant. What the fuck is there to change if there's no visible issues shown by your partner. Dude straight up just left without trying to fix anything, he didn't mention anything about marriage counselling nor confronting her on the problem. She's no psychic, she only sees a problem via his clear reactions or him straight up telling her the problem.

You sound single AF ​@@Jaelen74

For the boys: @CMTHFAF, you do not understand what is happening here

@@John_officia - I based my opinion on what was said in the video. If there is more detail, do share.

​@@John_officia for the whole world : you dont understand anything so what s your point

Yup

​@@user-tx1gh1gg3pwhere did you get the cheating?

sounds about right

They settled down very young. This is a common occurrence for people who do that. And even older couples drift apart after a while. He did the right thing by not staying for the son's sake.

@@alexismyers6053 No he didn't do the right thing, he never voiced these concerns to his wife, didn't put in any effort to fix the issue, and if he did then it was never mentioned, so I highly doubt he did because those would be important things to mention. If anything he bottled up his emotions and let it pull at him until he randomly pulled the plug after not only marrying but having a kid with a woman who thought everything was going all well. She could've had a career or future if he wasn't a bitch, the entire relationship quite literally he only thought about himself, and how he felt. And now that's another young single mother who has to balance raising a child and possibly finding an education or job. I don't even blame woman for wanting to be "independent" when this is how a man handles growing apart. can't even provide security, or honesty.

​@@alexismyers6053yeah but abandoning your child because they said mean words to you doesn't make you a great parent. Thinking because you put your child in therapy but not yourself doesn't make you a superstar parent either. It isn't the divorce. That's the problem. It's an abandoning your child because expecting a level of maturity of your child that you don't have as an adult. That's the problem

@@LLandS18 he TOLD OP he didn’t want him! If he told a judge that, the judge would have listened to him and gave the most her sole custody!

True 100%

Yes it is if you have moved on and already lives without him 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

It is

13 year old made the mistake and he didnt try to get in touch with his father until he had a kid of his own do you understand how long that is and how much he made his father miss the graduation marriage first child and after all that he wants to make up really? At some point you cut people out of your heart and no matter what they do anymore you just dont care

@@ezdone3886 kid-razing issue

what do you expect someone to do when they’re not happy with their relationship sit there and be miserable divorces happen all the time can’t paint him as a bad guy for wanting to be happy and doing it in a respectful way

@@godspeed_gamer1186 They didn't say that at all. But can't you hear what the OP is saying, but also what he isn't saying? He's saying that after so many years he doesn't understand why his ex was miserable. He doesn't understand or even care why his son adolescent son was angry at him or that now that he's an adult he's apologetic and regretful. He doesn't understand why his wife doesn't understand the actions he's considering. And he doesn't think it's fair if his mother would consider doing the same thing he's considering doing to his own son. The OP is selfish and childish, but that's not the problem. The problem is that he thinks he's the only victim, and isn't treating others how he wants to be treated.

@@bizzyg5751 one he said he didn’t know why she seemed shocked that he was leaving clearly there have been issues within the relationship after the divorce he doesn’t have a reason to consider his ex wife feelings and idk if you missed the part where he tried doing therapy to help his son to make things better. You can’t call him selfish for leaving a relationship he wasn’t happy with staying in a bad relationship is only gonna cause further problems down the line. He tried to be in his son’s life he tried therapy things just didn’t work out. You can’t just do one of the most heartbreaking things to a dedicated parent and then expect them to let you walk back in with open arms guy has a new wife a new family and a new life letting him back into his life would possibly ruin and disrupt that.

​@@godspeed_gamer1186 there is no respectful way to be a deadbeat, there is nothing respectable about not wanting anything to do with your children, people like that do deserve to be miserable. Hope his new wife leaves him so his 2 new children get the chance to get a respectable father figure in their lives.

@@godspeed_gamer1186I have never seen someone defend a father that abandoned their family for no reason so hard in my life 💀

Well, he's got two more kids let's see about them

This the one..

No, you're just trying to make him look bad when he's not.

​@@vv_pmu7055 yes he is. He left his cut contact with his young child and the kid acted like a kid would and got angry and when the son had years to reflect on what he did he apologized and wanted to start a new with his dad who is holding a grudge against something a child did over a decade ago because of his own actions the dude is a man child

@@vv_pmu7055but thats what he did

he left his wife and completely blindsided her so i dont think she was cheating or he shouldve atleast mentioned the reason he left

It doesn’t say it here but he noticed his wife growing distant the last 15 years and they hadn’t slept together for 5 years. The wife didn’t try in this one. On the note of the child yea he’s the ah for not even trying with his son.

​@@Withjoy2000there is always a reason for such distancing, if you don't even try that's just sad, the fact that she begged him not to leave proves that she still wanted him, the fact he just sitting there and letting the one you love grow distance shows that he was never in the relationship himself, get counselling bring it up with her that somethings need to change, and i struggle to see who the child is, being from a divorced family myself I blamed my mother for a lot of it as she was the one who broke it off, however she never once blamed me never once gave up on me and she always says "I will always be your mum, I will always be there" the fact that you cut your child out of your life because you quite literally messed up his life proves to me that OP is Narcissistic, didn't ask why she was distancing herself from him, blames his child for being upset when he tossed his mother aside and then when he grows up and final understands relationship you turn him away because your still hurt over him being understandably upset with you

If he doesn’t like her anymore he doesn’t like what so hard to understand he doesn’t have to make something not working work

@@chrisbotsimmons6595 sure then maybe he shouldn’t have married her in the first place his choices, effect more than one person that’s where he’s a hole.

​@@chrisbotsimmons6595bro your a child you never had a marriage

This. OP never mentioned he talked to his son before he left about why he did so.

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! 😊😊😊

​@@SilveryBlue1010maybe she cheated?

@@fredwright9755 Maybe, but there's no context of that. OP also never said she did.

Yeah

Fr

The dad really expected people to back him when his story was pretty much: “I got bored of my relationship with my ex after we took on the responsibilities of being parents, so I cut her off with no explanation.” “I then disowned my son for being resentful because I uprooted his life, proved to him that I disvalue commitment and conversation, and traumatized him and his mother.”💀

Amen!

Thisssss

More than a decade trying to save the marriage. He pulled the plug after couldnt march on anymore. (seems he was the only one trying, as hes ex didnt even understood). Still tried to be amicable, and be in hes sons life. Worked on it for years, even therapy. Just more sheit. He was already exhausted. After a few years of trying, he gave them their wish. Now that hes son is experiencing the same hardships (prob.: financial, mental, phisical, marriage problems) he suddenly has to accept? Also: where did hes no contact son got hes email? Probably OP-s mom, who suddenly turned 180 and started berating OP. I cut out people from my life. A ton. Also will disown even my little sister after i fix my health and have enough money for the procedure. She is still underage, but she crossed the only line i told her to never cross. I raised and taught her half her life even. Dont care if she is underage. There are things you should understand at a certain age.

​@@kuruzsloorig278 what do you mean trying to save the marriage? he is the one who ended that. and what do you mean by therapy even. if I break your bones and pay for your hospital bills am I doing a favour? also is the father's duty to create the relationship with their children not the other way around. also don't have children you sound like a self serving narcissist. your sister is not your responsibility you are not the one who brought her to this world but your children's are.

@@maxamv3879 i dont have children, true. Why? I dont want to try again after my daughter and fiance got killed a few years back. Yes, he tried everything that is reasonable. Even more. Now that they are most likely having difficoulties themselves, they come crawling back. If i sound like a narcissist, then you are a modern feminist. You cant even do basic debates without personal attacks.

Maybe she ruined both ymtheir lives

My parent's are not divorced but they keep on ruining my will to live (been sui***** since I was frickin 12) it is thanks to my friend that I am still around

Then dont make a child that youre gonna treat like trash in the next 13 years if his life

I’m a child of divorced parents too, and I get that he is allowed to have acted like a child because he was a child, but HOW would the father have ruined the child’s life? He literally divorced the mom because they had been drifting apart since their child was born. We don’t know the exact situation, but we do know that there was no cheating or abuse going on, their marriage just wasn’t working anymore. His child cut off contact, that was his decision not the dad’s, the dad was hurt for a long time, but eventually managed to move on and get his own life back together. And now he wants to have contact with his dad over a decade later? Fine, okay, sure. That’s nice. But the dad doesn’t have any obligation to have the child in his life again. Sure, it may hurt the son, but like, they’re practically strangers who have biological ties. And that’s it. Maybe explain that to the son? But he really doesn’t have to start talking to the son.

​@@Lyra324​@Lyra324 I'd be mad too, "they were drifting apart" yet he said nothing and tried nothing, no therapy and definitely no talking or it wouldn't have hit his wife out of the blue, kid was 11 maybe 12 and his mom was left a mess and blindsided by the divorce. Then the kid gets mad acts out, this probably 12 by now kid is mad because this was still probably fresh and guess what, he walks out again, he never tried with his marriage and stopped trying with his son. He also could have reached out in all this time because his child may have been angry and mean but he was a child and op could have been the adult but no it took his son becoming an adult for someone to reach out and then he wants to send a hurtful message that even his knew wife says is too far.

No reason? If life is the same every day for 15 years and im getting tired of it, i have all the right to leave. Am i supposed to be chained to stay? Sounds inhumane

@galfinite It was no reason to his first wife and child. He never said he explained how he felt or tried counseling before he just decided divorce was the only way out. Try new things, not abandon your wife and child, then expect them to be all smiles. Just to turn around and do the same thing with another person. Like I said, if he left his first wife and child because he was bored or he just woke up one day, " not feeling it anymore" as the 2nd wife I'd be concerned he'd do it again to me and our children. He tore apart a family, HIS family, because he wanted novelty. What happens when it becomes a routine again? His new family will have repetition as well every day, usually following a pattern.

​@@galfiniteIf there's no cheating, abandonment, lying, abuse, addiction, etc, ya try to work it out. Idk if he tried to talk to his wife, but if he didn't, he's an AH. Only if he didn't try though.

@@crash92la98try? he waited YEARS to see if she’d actually change. she didn’t, you can’t force somebody to love you and the wife proved she didn’t with YEARS of neglect. shit if my wife became more distant i’d sure as hell know, and i’d definitely know before she gives me divorce papers years after???

@@crash92la98 That's the thing, we don't know if he tried to work things out. It seems strange that he would hold out for 15 years ND leave in a night. We just don't know. But everyone in this comment section is acting like they do

W

​@@eepyw double W

Doesn't matter. Actions have consequences.

@@vv_pmu7055 nuh uh, not at 11 it doesn't. If you cant forgive ur kid for a mistake he made when he was a preteen, esp now when he apologized and wants to make up, you aren't fit to be considered a parent

⁠@@vv_pmu7055you are acting like a bum brother

How would you feel in this situation, the divorce was never because of the child and he still tried to be a father in his life but the CHILD rejected him, there is no ego there is just pain from your child cutting you off for no good reason, just because he is a child doesn’t mean he shouldn’t face backlash

@@togsana it’s natural for kids to hate the parents that initiate divorce. How would you feel if you saw your mother crying for days for your father to come back? Yes, what OP’s son did wasn’t rational and it might’ve affected OP, but in my opinion he didn’t have to keep contact with him as long as he accepted the apology. OP just cut him off, OP’s son apologised and actually considered his mistakes on this. Bas I don’t wanna start shitty arguments but OP is definitely the asshole.

​@@togsanathe son reflected on how his actions affected his dad, the dad couldn't do the same. He is egotistical.

@@GottlikeDamon even if the son did reflect it dosent change how the dad feels. And tell me what the dad had to reflect on.

​@@GottlikeDamon if the son actually reflected, he wouldn't inflict more hurt on OP and let things how they were. He now has developed an emotional need for his dad and expects him to make peace as if nothing has happened. The wife is just emotionally daft and won't listen to the effects this will have on her husband. She just wants to be right.

He didn’t abandon his son

@@togsana But an emotional pre-teen wouldn't see it that way.

Yeah sometimes with all the stress of life, work, bills, etc they both felt overwhelmed and drifted. But I believe if he made the effort in talking with her and do nice things they could have made it work. But it's clear that man is egotistical and doesn't see how his actions affect others.

@@blutarchmann9070 well that’s the truth whether he likes it or not

They didnt have sex for 4 years.pretty sure sge should hqve known it was a problem

He didn't leave the kid he left the Mom. The kid is the one that abandoned him by telling him he never wanted to see him again. The op just did what the kid wanted and went into depression because of that. Then when he finally gets a new family and kids that love him his ex child now wants a relationship. To me this sounds like his ex's plan to hurt him even more. Considering that the parent that keeps the kid usually demonize the other parent.

​@@ookami0169 he was 13 and didn't understand the weight of the decision

​​@@ookami0169oh jeez you mean he acted like a teenager who's entire world was just shattered by his father who divorced his mom and moved out in the span of a week without any real warning wow what a monster. Come on dude you sound like someone who thinks his feelings are the only ones that really matter. Also the guy never says anything about going into depression. Nor does he say a word about how his son felt other than he was really mad. The kid was probably depressed too. My parents divorced when i was 9 and i was depressed for years.

He didn’t abandon him, after the divorce he still tried to have a relationship with the son, but the SON cut ties with his dad, not the other way around

@@togsana HE WAS STILL A FUCKING CHILD. Children do NOT have developed minds AND DO NOT really have the power to do this unless the parent is abusive.

​@@togsana thats because he was 13 and going through his parents divorce after his mum cried for weeks. Obviously his son is going to have feelings of rage, anger, confusion and resentment. You're duty as father is to be there for your child and protect them no matter what, and he failed to do that.

​@@iyague To be rug isn't part of being there for child. You can't force to have relationships with child if they don't want it.

​@@fobija1378ye obviously because the child is distressed and pissed at his dad for breaking up with the mom for no apparent reasoj

His son kept no contact, it was form when he was 12 to now when he espects kids.

@@vvvjeko2397 Are you speak hieroglyphics?

@@Alola92Speaking* also i am 12 and can easily be held responsible for my actions.

@@Itzz..lauren.your brain isn’t fully developed yet, you may think oh you’re so smart, but no, you have innocence you don’t know you do and only those older than you are able to see it.

@@runninglate777 yes but if he decided to go no contact with his father that would be cruel, but if he continues no contact for abouth a decade it would be his decision from 12 to 22.

Does unconditional love mean even when the child cut him out of his life, especially when the father tried to do parent, you still have to love him. Does unconditional love mean even when you relapsed and had to pick your life up but there was no communication from his son until you finally live a happy life. Does unconditional love mean even when the son robbed him of an opportunity to continue to be a father and now he came back the decision he’d made can’t be used against him? Relationships are two ways, why would you want to love someone who kicked you out of their life for 10+ years and now contacted you like everything that happened wouldn’t suffer the consequences

Yes thats unconditional love. Happens with my mom and bro. My big bro cut her off and she to this days still think about him occasionally wandering how he is doing. ​@@user-vy6gy1zd8t

And fyi my brother cut her off because our sick cat pooped on his gaming keyboard and my bro try to hit our cat so my mom stopped him and told him that she would PAY for a new one but he refused and cut her off after that day. By that time he is a grown up adult with a stable job. Unconditional love is a thing

did we see the same video? you're getting angry at a child who understands that his father just left them for no reason? He sees his mother hurting because of his father and gets angry at him for doing so. You're angry at the child for being reasonably angry at his father for traumatizing and ruining half of his life? ​@@user-vy6gy1zd8t

They will, he doesnt know what unconditional love is, so any current relationships he has he doesnt have it with them... its only a matter of time.

Thank you for this comment. Just further proves that he’s a bitch 💀

Sounds like almost every asshole I've met

Or maybe he knew he would be ripped a new one and needed that “encouragement” to let his child back into his life. Bet you anything the son really only contacted him because he needed money.

It might've been a throwaway account.

@@skyelindsey687 Your assumption about the son is baseless and sick.

This just proves you have no clue about relationships

Relationships don't work If persons don't love each other anymore and being in that makes a person bitter overtime. So yeah there was a clear reason but a reason child couldn't understand. Some people love each other their whole lives some people grow apart from each other.

@ShayyanAli .. I think their talking from the childs prespective as the child was 11 this would be what he saw... So ofc the chuld would hate hes dad.. the adult should be the bigger personn.. also the fact that the dads wife read the letter and begged him not to send it....

To be honest if the marriage isn't working then it isn't working out, deep inside he's emotional checked out but the reaction his kid had is pretty normal. allot of kids from divorced marriage tends to hate the parent who pursued the divorce in the first place. Imo none of them were AH, kid or dad both are just deeply hurt and just standing on their grounds.

​@@johannessimola1615 it doesn't work because people stop trying. Relationships don't just happen. They take work. Falling in love and the honeymoon stage is fun and exciting but it will fade. True companionship is working through the good times and bad. He gave up and destroyed his family unit, and I wouldn't trust him to not do it again. Seems pretty selfish, and I say that because it's all about him.. not trying to understand a 13 working through overwhelming emotions. His own mother is flabbergasted her son would forsake his child.

Once again, it doesn’t matter it is not our job to judge our children. It is our job to be there for them to help them not to throw in the towel.Period smh 🤦🏼‍♀️ that poor little boy at least he was raised to be man enough to admit he was wrong

the new wife is a w

​@@theywishtheywereus i hope she leaves him and he gets a taste of his own medicine

You cqnt use that argument cause while he was a kud when no contact started he didnt reach out until this moment.

​@@vvvjeko2397 yes you can, divorce is hard on a kid and has lasting effects. It took time for him to grow up, it didn't happen over night. As he grew he was able to comprehend the situation in full, realized his error, and apologize.

​@@kenny995true, it wasn't the couple who take the full blow it is their child and whoever started the divorce is the bad guy for a child in that age

​@@vvvjeko2397 As OP mentioned, his son recently change his mind due to he became a father. Even so, I think both better off as they're now and moving on.

​@@vvvjeko2397 yo, you think it's that easy to contact a man who cut you outta his life when you were 13, like Op could have gotten new job, new house, new email, new phone number. Imagine how hard it is to search through all sorts of social media platforms, ask around and fail many times. Only to finally succeed, reach out and apologise, for Op to take an entire year to reply him and basically say f*ck you to him. Poor excuse of a father and husband if you ask me.

Dude everyone here is hating on the guy, not the child, are u fighting the air or smth 💀💀

@user-vs5ju4ou1r the first 3 comments when I posted were saying shit like "I understand why you wouldn't want to be around someone who did that to you." All the sane people came later.

Yeah that came from a CHILD! Who was really hurt at the time. And the father honored it. But now the child is more mature and realizes what the situation really was and what he really did to his father and wants to try to fix it in any way he can! I did something similar to my father, cut contact(long story that i wont get into but id only ever met him 3 times in my life and the 1st wasnt till i was 14. Didn't even know 100% he WAS my father till i was 18 or so n we did a paternity test. Another long story, but short version my mother really upset me with her actions at the time of the test and HER reasons for it that still hurts me(it was selfishfor her and not for me like i was lead to believe)) and i never talked to him again.. now its been 20 years and for a long time ive felt horrible and wanted to have a relationship with him, wanted to know my father and where i came from because I know really nothing about him!! And that hurts so much, i cant even imagine how it made him feel.. especially since a long time ago he sent me a letter to apologize (when he really didnt do anything wrong, the errors were on me i realized with age..) but i completely ignored the letter. For years now ive wanted to fix that and reach out to him.. but i never do, i keep putting it off and saying to myself ill do it eventually....😢 Well, now there is no more eventually.. he passed maybe 6 months ago now... and all im left with is the loss and the never knowing and the pain.. and its entirely my fault Please dont make my same mistake... tslk to your child if he is reaching out to you!!!

​@jacobviator3118 this sounds vary similar to my dad his dad left him when he was 7 and he never reached out then his dad reached out apologizing about everything and he wanted to meet up to talk and my dad said no then years later his dad reached out again and my dad said no then 6 months later his dad died and he regrets not meeting with him

​@@user-vs5ju4ou1rliterally half the replies to comments i see are defending the guy

I.agine thinking thete wasn't a reason why he left😅😅😅😅

​@@fredwright9755 Imagine not being able to write English

you’d have never apologized for cutting your dad off? despite your dad having done nothing wrong?

​@@vergorancesuddenly asking for divorce and devastating his mom with no explanation seems like a good reason not to apologize.

​​@@vergorance It's a complex situation, as I empathize with both perspectives. From my own journey, the absence of a father figure has left deep scars. My biological father was abusive and left when I was only 6, leaving a void that still hurts. Then, my 'step' father, who was initially kind, departed when I was 15, leaving me feeling abandoned and responsible for his departure. This led to a prolonged period of depression and struggle, impacting my education and outlook on life. Through these experiences, I've realized the immense pain of feeling unloved and abandoned. While I understand the impulse to leave a relationship when love wanes, I believe in handling it with transparency, especially when children are involved. I wouldn't want to inflict the same trauma of abandonment that I endured. If I were in that situation, I'd prioritize honest communication and ensure the children know they are loved, even if the romantic relationship ends. Did the father do anything wrong? Yes & no.

​@@vergorance he was a child, what he saw was his dad leave his mom and break her heart and he had no clue why. It's well known that divorces are hard and confusing for kids. Grown man holding a grudge against a child's confused actions. Sure he doesn't have to reconnect with him, but the son grew up and was able to comprehend what happened and apologized.

​@@vergoranceI'm doing the same right now and keep doing it he made an excuse just to get out of the marriage because he was bored his 1st wife wouldn't beg and cry for him to stay if she didn't love him he just wanted a new life because he's bored you think couple will be the one to get hurt the most well apparently you're wrong the children will take the full blow of divorce because in their eyes the one who started to leave will always be the bad one and he is an A hole like my father so no forgiveness for them😊

As if you actually knew what happened in the marriage and the possible manipulation of the wife on the son

@@otalgebra4436 The dude himself said he got tired of his life...

@@vvitch-mist20 tired of his life is quite a generalization of what could be happening

@@otalgebra4436 Okay, but he said this himself so like he generalized his own life.

@@vvitch-mist20 yet you are the one making assumptions calling him an asshole. You are the asshole for assuming things lol

It’s crazy how the OP wrote this like people would agree with him is insane

He tried to keep connection but he moved on so how is he wrong

I know, right, it's actually very refreshing to see that people actually understand that the father is not right in the scenario

Any open minded, sensible person would not side with the father tbh. Leaving your wife because you're bored and didn't try to fix the relationship and abandoning an *11 year old* kid for being angry at your immature divorce should not be sided with.

​​@@chrisbotsimmons6595Bro decided to divorce his wife just cause he was bored, literally doesn't mention anything about counselling or talking about the problem. Then his son, who just saw his mother in shambles begging for a second chance and OP refusing, who's 11-12 is angry at his - honestly immature - divorce abandons him. Instead of being emotionally mature and trying to talk to his son about his idiotic divorce, he decides to abandon him too. Bro is wrong for leaving his 1st wife despite not trying to communicate his problems for 11 whole years and is wrong for wanting to cut contact with his ~12 year old son despite causing the son's mother to be hurt(Like an Ass) which causes the son to be angry.

Where the fuck is the child where was the sun when he was 18-23. Oh right a grown ass man hating another for no fucking reason.the son must be stupid or desperate.

Maybe he knew the truth, but sided with the mother

@@fredwright9755 Doesn't matter. A child is literally incapable of making good judgement. They almost exclusively rely on emotions to make decisions

​@@mysticalseapotato8303and yet we somehow allow those very same children to make life altering choices like chopping of their genitals and chemically castrating them all because a certain group of troons need to feel validation for their delusions. The boy wanted no contact and so the father obliged with his wish.

​@fredwright9755 what truth? Dude said he one day just got tired entirely of his family and just that week moved out and sent divorce papers. The mother cried for weeks because it was out of nowhere. Dude says it himself. The fuck you trying to imply here?

You do know before 20 years ago it was not okay for men to show concerns about marriage and men often has to bottle up the emotions cos "how dare men be unhappy in marriage!"? Funny thing is it still promoted to bottle up emotions. Also, kid kinda wrote too late. It's not like kid wrote Op after 2 mounts, it was like 10+ years after. It's not like kid was staying 11 all the time.

​@@fobija1378Past has nothing to do with this you need to realize after having a child you have to look after it even after a divorce OP gucking off and starting a new family is just a dick move

@@WhiterunGuard50 Is it? How many kids says they hate when parents tries to force get relationship between them? Op just respected kids decition and move on to not be stuck in the past. Dunno about you but if someone hates you and doesn't want to see you then it's quite healthy to not get involved

its his kid for god's sake. Even strangers put so much effort to earn an animal's trust.​ @@fobija1378

When does the kid take accountability he was an adult for 4 years before reaching out. A decade is a long time to be waiting on someone.

Ahh yes the think the son didn’t want to do and specifically told his dad to never do again. did you not even listen to the video the dad got the boy a therapist I don’t thing communication was the problem.

I mean to be fair the dad acted like a child in the end so yeah, good on the kid for that decision back then lmao​@@legacyplays6050

​@@legacyplays6050 the fact that the breakup was sudden to everyone means he dropped no conversation on it and no attempts to fix it he just divorced out the blue

@@blastphantomgames6369he also literally decided to divorce for no reason too 💀💀💀 just for funzies ig. Or he’s hiding something that would make him look bad if it got out of hand

@@legacyplays6050Did you not think it through while making that comment? The entire reason why the kids refused to have contact with his father was because of the divorce. Which was because of him and his son drifting apart. Why do you think that is? It’s certainly not the kids fault for drifting away from his father. That’s right, it’s the fathers fault. If his father would’ve talked to his kid when he was 8, maybe he would’ve thought that parental conversations were normal when he was 11.

He dont wa t his son in his life

He's a D1 hater and grudge holder and i can respect that

The dad did what wS best for him. Good man

@fredwright9755 he abandoned his son and got offended when his son got mad about that

​@@darbythegamer5152bruh you obviously didn't listen to the video, the father did not abandon his son, the son cut contact with the father and actively chose to keep it that way for 10+ years, literally in the video he says he had 50/50 custody and the son told him he wants nothing to do with him.

​@@Fireserpent7Sounds more like the son matured and learned from his mistakes when he was a young kid where the Op is more childish. 13 years old made a clear decision that he regrets as most kids do that age range and what does this excuse of a father do? He doesn't try to figure things out, he doesn't try to amend, he just accepts it and leaves. Then when the son calls and apologizes for a mistake the kid made when he was young, he turns him down and acts like he's not his kid anymore. Is what the kid said hurtful yes. But he matured and regretted it. The Op is a straight up a-hole

​​@@hunterngames6643Just because the son apologized and felt regret doesn't mean the man he hurt has to like or communicate with him, that's entitled as hell. His son is just a stranger to him now, the man has the right to be left alone.

Pretty sure he said that they grew apart, which happens alot

I bet it was the mother cheated and the dad didn’t want to make her the bad guy but the mother manipulated the son into hating the dad simple cause that’s what it seems like

​@@legacyplays6050possibly doesn't equal probability

​@@BrandonWillis-yq1tihonestly given how he acted in the story and how his ex reacted to the divorces sounds more like he fell out of love with her

@@jrgilbert5231 yeah that is entirely possible man

And what makes u think the mom was involved? Kids can have their own opinions?

Its an option ​@@TheCookie13

@@TheCookie13 it's what could've happened never said it is what happened Or the kid could've just thought he abandoned his mother (basically did)

Why is it always the mom "pressuring" kids to cut contact?

No, he was a child with eyes and ears and knew his dad was some garbage. Stop always blaming the mother, because most moms want a break and for fathers to take a more active role instead of passive. This isn't new to women and children, just the male offspring who turned into adults

No because one of them was a literal child and the other his father. When someone breaks into the house do you also expect the child to protect the parent or what? It’s his job to be the responsible adult and he’s failing at it completely

Glad the man got out if that toxic marriage...he deserved better

Some people are just hypocrites, better stay away from such negativity

​@@fredwright9755it still doesn't justify him just abandoning his son and leaving for a second wife for 2 other kids.

The Father wanted to move on. Im seeing that the only reason the Father is an asshole is because hes somehow inclined to bond with this kid that i know came from his seed. Me personally, if i was told that my son doesnt want me at their events, seemingly hates me because im about to leave him because im unhappy, then im not obligated to keep spending time with him. I know compensation or child support is necessary which SHOULD be provided by the Father, but none of that is mentioned in the video. Its just about the kid wanting to form a bond with his Father after like many years? Father has a right to refuse. He's not necessarily right nor wrong. Because hes not required. With that said, the son could literally cry about it and theres nothing he can do

​@@fredwright9755bro istg these kids💀 please explain how you think that the relationship was toxic from the video

No everyone who is mad at op are just people who can't understand accountability