@@chiaraippoliti I have a toxic and manipulative mother. It's at least 7 years now that I know that I don't feel like having a child because I fear I might not be a good parent, despite I'm a very sweet person and good with children. I don't want to have a responsibility that I feel I could not be able to handle properly.
the worst thing about having toxic parents is living with toxic parents..... sending warm wishes to those who are currently healing on their own. you are so strong and capable of everything ❤
Mine loved pointing out that they have more life experience than I did as a way to invalidate my perspective or knowledge. They're experts at gaslighting.
I have toxic parents. I stopped seeing them a few years ago and only then did life start to feel safe and positive. My relationship with my children is wonderful. I somehow found it within me to stop history repeating itself. This is the single greatest achievement in my life!
@@chanakya6735 I Hope you find the strength to create and declare your boundaries. It took me until I was in my fifties. My heart goes out to you. Please take good care of YOU x
@@chanakya6735 I’m sorry for what your mother said to you. No child deserves to hear unloving words. You beautiful and special and God has amazing plans for your life.
0:46 accept that they won't change 2:11 you are the master of your own happiness 2:45 acknowledge that you are not at fault 3:24 you're not irreparably broken 4:16 forgiving them is not required Remember, you don't need to be parents' wished identity, you are the only one who can decide yourself ❤❤❤
I actually cried while watching this video and I needed to hear what was being said...one of the hardest things about having toxic parents, is living with them.
I was already crying before watching this lol, Um So imagine your parents have said to your face or hinted to u directly or indirectly to U, that your pets animals are better than U a HUMAN with feelings & thoughts, to them and then said "IF U GET SICK, WE ARE LEAVING YOU AT THE HOSPITAL!?~" And then reminded of it again all at the SAME TIME lol, Yeah IK I CAN, Bcus that's what happened to me just now RN lol!?~😒😔😄😅💀☠
One thing that hurts me a lot is when everyone around (family and strangers) respects me and then one of my parents talks ill about me tries to ruin my image. It’s just sad. This ruined my confidence in teenage years even when everyone else was cheering for me I let the negative remarks weigh me down. You can’t have it all perfect in life I guess…
Same! I hate Mother's Day. It feels so fake and gross to me to participate in it....but I do it anyway. I look at it like a means to keep her pacified, however temporary that is. Positive vibes to you! We can get thru it! 💪 💜
@@Browneyedgirl-m9b i feel good cause we both have the same problem and can understand each other so well!! I hope u get thru it too bcoz i know how hard it can be❤️
Omg, tell me about it, both my parents are awful and incompetent when it comes to parenting, and neither of them are nice people, they’re both Karens for Christ sake!
Some brief points for people that cannot watch the video: 1. Accept that they won't change - You are not the problem 2. You are the master of your own happiness 3. Acknowledge that you are not at fault for your childhood pain - It is or was *not* your fault. 4. You are not irreparably broken - It's possible to heal up, but it's going to take up effort. 5. Forgiving them is not required for healing to begin - Though, you need to acknowledge that it happened. Have a good day!
Alot of parents have alot to answer for. Always thinking they "know best" for their kid is very dangerous sometimes. For example, they've killed a child's dream because they thought it was best they didn't do such an activity or they said to the kid they didn't have what it takes. Parents who insult their kids are the worst. Kids test your patience but you never insult them because it damages their self-esteem. Sometimes parents need to step back and allow their kid to follow a dream, and support them. Over-bearing parents can cause kids to lack self-confidence and the ability to develop relationships which is integral to a child's growth and development. I relate to this video. Thank you again Psych2Go your content again helps so much.
My mother is always talking about her sad life backstory .I feel sad for her sometimes but she is doing this everytime she's drunk.And my dad JUST SOLD OUR HOUSE TO HIS MOTHER(mamas boy
Yeah! Once, I participated in a speech competition and I prepared everything myself. My parents said that I'll lose the competition if I don't listen to them as it was my first time but I knew that it was best to put my own hardwork in it instead of jus listening to all their criticism and so called advises blindly. Guess what? I got 2nd place in the competition becoz I didn't hear those toxic comments from my parents.
This video came out at the right time, I've been struggling with a toxic racist mother who is overly dependent and controlling who wouldn't let me work or even go out with friends at the age of 23, and is already planning to reach out to my uncle for help this Monday, I've also contacted my father (they are separated) for help and he's helping me with getting me my own car to kickstart my independent journey into getting my own job and money, I'll be staying with my uncle or dad until I could find myself a job and collect enough money to get my own rent house.
The hurtful thing is that half of the time they're still caring and providing, and you know that they want the best for you. It's painful to think that it's the same persons that threw things at you out of pure rage...something that they have never done to anyone else except to you. Makes me think, am I just a terrible child?
This. It's very confusing and makes you feel like you're the one who's broken. I'm so sorry you had to go/go through that but I feel like at least there's someone who understands
They don't really want forgiven, though. That's what they try to call it... BUT it isn't that. Especially the religious types want their DRAMA... and then the FORGETFUL little robot to "go back to the way things were"... That's brain damage. My aunt let me know when my father was in the hospital... My mother had thrown him out of the house (verbal abuse turned on my little brother when I joined the Navy)... and he was dying of cancer. I could've sent forms through Personal Screw-over Division and the Red Cross would've brought me home... but I refused. My aunt ("devout Catholic") accused me of withholding forgiveness... To whit, I responded, "The son of a bitch is still breathin', ain't he? That's about as forgiving as it's going to get. Don't you Christians ever count your blessings? OR is that more sacrilegious lip-service to give the kiddies shit to do?" ...and I hung up the phone. Forgiveness... such as it is, is simply letting go. It's refusing to let THEIR CRAP continue to drag you down and pollute your mind. That's ALL it is... Everything else is forgetting and stupid rituals to satisfy some idiotic societal norm's... Now, I'm not one to tell you how your culture sucks if you're the one OWED an apology and you still end up somehow groveling and crying... BUT I'm not going to pretend to be a fan, either... You probably guessed by now, my father wasn't the only (nor technically the worst) such influence in my life, and that I joined the Navy to ship out before I killed the bastard and really DID end up in prison like most people were betting I'd go... It did me good... SO between Uncle Sam and me, it was a "fair trade". In any case... I hope this somewhat wry and even abrasive way of looking at the world helps you out. It just seems like the kind of thing you might need to read "my words and my way" for a minute... There's nothing to guilt you about if you HAVE actually forgiven your personal "rotten abusive piece of work"... Just because you forgive, doesn't mean you forgot... Oldest wisdom in the English language is "Once bitten, twice shy." after all. You can't exactly guilt or blame the shark or a rabid dog for what's in its nature... so forgive... fine. Doesn't mean I'm in any hurry to offer the other friggin' hand. I'm NOT stupid... Trust... if it's even available... MUST be earned. It's expensive, takes a LONG time to cultivate.. and an instant to destroy. ;o)
My "religious" father cheated on my mother 5 times and he would pray on her to die loudly whenever he fails at anything not even related to her. My mother isn't ugly or anything, she's the prettiest woman in the world. My father just sees her as lesser than him cause her own parents died and that asshole of a husband thinks she only has him left and always justified treating her like shit. "Religious" people aren't angels. If I wasn't smart enough to realize the world is diverse, I'd have said they're all demons just due to the trauma that my father caused us.
My mom said it's part of our culture to forgive your parents for anything, even murder, because if they didn't give birth to up me I wouldn't have existed. But I didn't ask to be born, it was their choice to have a child and I shouldn't have to be expected to repay them because of this. All my friends, family and teachers still believe that I am the one that owes an apology and I am just being ungrateful. As soon as I am financially stable enough, I will move out and finally leave my religion.
Needed this so bad. I have been sorrounded by red flags my whole life up until now. Wasted my teenage years listening to my manipulative parents. Havent had the time or day that I go home and they won't get mad. I'm already in my early 20's yet still treated as a grade schooler. Getting scolded and humiliated in public is something that I grew up with
My grandmother is so abusive. She always humiliated everyone in the family. She told me I'm characterless. My aunt and uncle were so toxic , they always talks about me 24×7, that I'm looser. Infact my father...he always scolds me, I'm 26 and still he always talks to me rudely and when I reply back harshly or i get irritated. He just scolds me more . He abuses my mother also. Still my mother takes his side . She tells me he is possessive and he cares for me. But what care? From waking up to going to bed, from eating habits to daily routine. I hear everything that don't do this, don't do that. Do this way that way.. i know few things are genuine but there is a way to deliver everything. He can also speak politely and make me understand the changes he wants in me. Always raising voice and giving looks is compulsory? He scolds me and we don't speak for 10 days and that's absolutely normal. Then again he do same . From the age of 17-18 I'm getting panic attacks.. do you think it's my fault? I'm in very much mental trauma. Doctor has told me to relax and don't take stress. But this is not possible in my family.
Whenever I argue with my family. They always starts counting the favours they have done or are doing for me, from the house rent to college fees everything
@@Thestudyhub_ u r situation same as me same thing happening with me daily always they pull my physical appearance to make me sad . they (both parents) say look at u r face who will marry u 😔 💔 the shock nd thunder heart pain in my chest 💔 😢 I m brokened totally then all the time they will say look at u r face ,abusing me by bad words , and shaming me in public i m just used to it 💔😭 .. i m 20y/o they treating me like a dumb like I don't know anything they want to know whatever things I do they want get into my life then why I am....one day I am tolded to them don't speak to me like this but its only lasts for 3 days then they back to their actual behavior 🤧 😔 acting infront of their relatives like they r loving me caring me but the house 4 walls know what is reality ...i wanna ran away from them for far away
Prefect timing. Today I had a fight with my father. He has a habit of just blowing up at me over silly things. I can’t ask him to do anything cause it usually ends with him yelling at me and him saying “don’t tell me what to do!” About an hour later he came to me and tried to “apologize” but what he really did was just give me a life story on how his traumas have affected him and that it’s not his fault for how he reacted but that he’s sorry that he did. This is not an apology. I understand; I can empathize and sympathize that he has his traumas. But, if you’re truly sorry for your actions you wouldn’t not excuse yourself; you would try to do better and be better. I tried to explain to him that he’s in control of his actions and that it’s no one else’s fault for how he handles his emotions. He proceeded to try and gaslight me and tell me that it was my fault he yells at me. He explained that out of all of his kids I’m the only one that he yells at. So there for in his mind it’s something that I do that triggers him. In reality although my father may say he loves me I truly don’t believe it. He has done many things to spite me and hurt me. I know I’ll never have a loving father-daughter relationship with him and honestly I don’t want one. I’m happy and secure in who I am; I’m just tired of him trying to derail me in my efforts to find stability.
Hey amber, I'm not gonna say that forgive your parents or start to love them. It's just so shallow to say. I've been through your situation except that I am a boy. My father is a narcisstic egoistic person, but he tells me that he loves me. I have been through trauma for years ( iam now 17) , like from my childhood. I was overweight from my childhood, and my father would fat shame me literally everyday. LITERALLY 💔. when I was in my high school, for almost 2 years he would literally control the amount of food that I eat, also since I was hitting puberty at that age as a boy, i was hungry all the time, but he made me at little. If I eat little extra, he would yell at me and i would start to cry. Then , he will say that I saying for your good, but he caused me trauma. I've been suffering through depression for past 3 years and i have serious low self esteem issues, that i literally feel like this comment of mine would feel cringe and childish to others. I literally cried for over 1 year everytime when I ate extra, almost 2 times a day. Also iam an Indian. Only thing I wish is i could have a sister like you who could empathize other people's emotions. Amber, will you be my sister or friend🥺🥺💔
@@priyasenthilkumar8508 Don't worry bro, you'll be okay. Take it from another Indian, I promise things will work out for you, and me too. Happiness may be hard for us, but it'll be worth it, once we really find it, right?
@@priyasenthilkumar8508 I understand your pain my father is diagnosed with NPD and BPD... I’m 23 and I’ve come to terms with his behavior and the fact that he will never change. I’m just at a point in my life now where I can say I don’t need you or want you in my life and ultimately when I do move out I don’t plan on contacting my father nor do I care to have a relationship with him.
It was as if I'm reading my own story. I can relate to everything you said. Like it's so accurate. I know and understand what you're feeling because I'm feeling that too. My father is EXACTLY like that and everything you said has happened to me several times. It hurts a lot but i hope everything will become fine. Let's try our best! 🤍😊
I'm 23. My toxic parent continues to be as toxic as ever. What's worse is that not only does this affect me, but they are a grandparent and regularly tells me I should be parenting differently. More like them. As their child, I know for a fact that I am doing the right thing by breaking cycles.
@@GamerGoals100 Unlike me, if you're 100% sure your toxic parents gonna pay your college, I suggest learning your favourite or new skills and learn HOW to make money out of them as soon as possible. Don't wait till you graduate highschool or university; this is a mistake! Begin on a big project now. And by big, I mean it can be finished very quickly, not take a long time. Don't start anything can take more than 7 months to launch (startup) or 3 months to master (skill). Just do not wait for opportunities to happen; not everyone's that lucky. And judging by our luck with our parents, we're not of the lucky people. You've to make space for the opportunities, sometimes even create that space yourself.
I am 30 and still suffering from this. My father was a violent parent on top of that. I think it affected my mother over the years. I just wish they broke up, I think we, the children, suffered most from this.
I have an emotionally abusive father and my mom, my siblings, and I had to leave him bc it got bad. I’m so glad to be away from him, but at the same time it’s hard bc he wasn’t the same person I thought he was, especially when he made me feel like his abuse was normal. I’ve been trying to learn what healthy habits are, but im still having trust issues bc of it. He cut us off of money and didn’t care that we were deprived of our needs. If you know what this feels like, just know you are valid and your emotions are real. Don’t lie to yourself. You are important and you deserve love. Ty for bringing attention to this Psych2Go bc it’s a real issue and not many people understand.
Thank you. I know too well what if feels like and the same goes to you. You and your family deserved so so much better. I'm proud that you're working on that, you've got this! And I wish you learn how to trust again. Take care!
Omg same situation here, but its only me and my mother 😞 I feel so lonely because my mother kind of discount all the violence that come from my father on me
I've lost all motivation, I feel numb and lost. It's so depressing to see yourself fall. My mom constantly keeps a check on me and misbehaves when I don't study. She wants me to study all the time. I'm tired of this. I feel like there's no one with whom I can share my pain. To everyone who is abused by toxic parents, I can feel you.
What do u like to do , like any hobbies ? I think we're the same age , tbh. You can talk to ur parents about a hobby that you really like to do(convince them.) and do what u love to do and enjoy the most , I told my mom I like sports , I go to sports club where I play badminton, squash , swim. , Gym and when I come home I have 2 tutions , so I feel very refreshed and I study even better I got 80 , my parents were very happy and baught me stuffs and took me out to have dinner . My point is convince them to do let you do something you love the most Only you can do that , I know you can ♥️ all the best
@@Vishplus I'm really interested in wild side of our planet and space. For instance :- forests, mountains, grasslands, oceans, deserts, stars, galaxies, universe, prehistoric creatures... In short, I love nature. I once told her that I'd like to be mountaineer but her behavior was way bad then I had expected. She abused me both physically and verbally. If she wanted to explain that there's no scope in such jobs, then she could have done it more peacefully. Not all parents are their child's best friends. Most are just abusive and want unquestioned obedience. But I'm glad that I'm slowly recovering from this.
wow I love nature too well you can take your parents for hiking , to the hills or a short mountain , Everyone likes nature Me and my parents go hiking too , it's a near temple which has around 890 stairs .. You can go with your father if your mom denies
Trust me, you are not alone 🥹😭, I am also suffering but I am trying to heal myself from all these drama in life. I just argue with my mum but she’s still in denial stage. She’s keep on trying to blame me for everything. From now on I completely understood that she’s not gonna change & I don’t expect her to change ever . Now I will remain quiet & will not argue with her anymore because my feelings & my emotions doesn’t matter to her 🥹
I also suffer from same thing i studied from morning to evening and slept sometime n she was telling my dad in room that i keep drowsing all the time n never tell her wat all i studied after hearing this i cried untile the pillow got full wet
That's probably what my sister feels too. She has plans of getting me out and I don't blame her but I rant to her sometimes about parents and I think that makes her feel guilty too. I'm not doing this on purpose I swear I love her so much but I've no one to share it with
My older sister did this and moved far, far away. She has never been there for me and now tries to guilt trip me because my mom is mad at me. It is insane.
I'm 17 and every single day my mom calls me stupid , useless , and I'm constantly reminded that its my fault my dad is not in my life and how nobody wants me or truly cares for me and i cant do anything right . There is never a day that goes by without me crying due to her hurtful words and I always get anxiety attacks when I have to come home from school Honestly I'm so tired and am just counting down the days when I can go to college and completely and not have to stay with her anymore.
the fact so many of us relate ): but we all got this. it's okay to go on without them. love yourself, choose you when they don't. always choose you. sending all love to everybody watching this
For the majority of my life, I’ve always believed that I had a lot to owe to my parents, simply by doing what pleased them. Remembering that makes me second guess my worth and self esteem which is upsetting. But this video is what I’ve been looking for, so thank you Psych2Go 💙
The way I see it, you owe your parents NOTHING. everything they do to raise you should be done with no expectation to get anything in return. They should do it because they want to to succeed, not because they want something from you.
On the other hand,my parents will reject to watch this video for sure, even if i request them..Not only that i also tried many time to talk with them about that but they Won't understand even they torture me..
@@tatamic7612 I would just say that leave it...they will NEVER understand....as a child I have tried soooooooooo many times to talk to them but instead every single time hurt my feeling and made myself feel shitty.........now I as teenager I have realised that there is no point to waste our precious energy on something that is not worth it......let us all instead try to become financially independant and just run from this toxic enviroment
I'm 46 and my mother STILL makes a point to pass judgement on things that make me happy and content. Which is why I tell her very little. If she can think of something negative to say, she's on it! Unfortunately, favoritism was a major issue growing up and still is to this day, but I make every effort to try and not let it affect me emotionally. It's not worth it.
Moments when my Mom would criticize me and call stupid and treat my like a child keep repeating in my head everyday. It usually builds up on my last work day of the week. I'm usually in tears before I get to my car and then I just have a furious outburst. Spewing everything I've always wanted to say to her. Right now though, we seem to have a fair relationship. But the memories, the pain, the anger, they never go away.
What a synchronicity this is! Literally had to tell her my “Mother” to sit and reflect on if she deserves a present or outing on Sunday after she demanded.Feeling entitled to these things aren’t going to make me do it. 😩 Having a child DOESN’T make you a parent.
@@singingwindrider9881 noo not really. Making someone who abused you think about their actions towards you when they continuously feel entitled. Holding someone accountable is way healthier then festering hate and spewing out negativity. Sounds like you don’t know what ACCOUNTABILITY is yourself.
@@singingwindrider9881 sweetie you must not understand healing and forgiving someone when they didn’t offer and apology. Everyone sets boundaries different. You have no full synopsis or understanding of my life simply a sentence. So how can YOU tell ME about myself when we not know each other. Maybe speak positivity instead of trying to make YOUR “methods” and OPINIONS fit other peoples life and telling them their way of setting boundaries and dealing with an abusive parent is wrong? If I am DECIDING to be the adult and FORGIVE my parent for they way they treated me. How do u expect soMeone to grow without SELF reflection? Yourself included. Maybe focus that energy on your journey to self healing instead of telling other people they are wrong. May the sun melt the coldness of ur heart. Blessed be ❤️😘
@@QwueenCJTheSupreme I know right, it's hard to convince pple that your own parents are the problem. But I believe in you, keep reparenting, you're not alone. We got this 🖤👊🏽👑
My father was paranoid, had violent mood swings, and had an explosive temper. When he had a meltdown, it was like a three-year-old’s tantrum in a full-grown man: Red-faced, fists clenched, face straining, screaming incoherently. Understandably, when that’s directed at a small child, the small child reacts with terror. But when the next thing that happens is the giant raging man pushes his face into yours and bellows “STOP CRYING”, and chases you through the house telling you to stop crying, and pulls off his belt to hit you for crying . . . . . . you learn to go cold when you’re frightened, blank-faced and clinical, and to stop running, and not to defend yourself. Or better yet, you go sweet and encouraging. You smile really big, raise your voice an octave, lean in toward the person you’re afraid of, and change the subject, as absurd as it seems to do in the middle of a dangerous one-sided fight. It’s horrific, but it’s also useful. There’ve been times in my adult life where interaction has gone sour and I’ve gone cold, and times when it’s gone really sour and I’ve gone sweet. I feel some dissociation when that happens-like I’m directing myself from a distance, and all the senses I’m processing are dulled and remote. Having this instinctive reaction to an adult temper tantrum makes customer service easier to perform, I guarantee you, and nothing diffuses somebody’s enraged tirade like a super-chipper tone of voice and a ferociously can-do attitude. So yes, some of us who were abused learned to react as if it weren’t nothing because reacting normally, with a fright, flight, or fight response, resulted in escalated violence against us.
It's tough to think that parents, for whom we see the light of earth They can leave us in this trauma. They feed us, they show they care, they give us a lot of gifts but they don't love you.... People often ask "what's the problem!You're in luxury.".. How to say that we are in luxury but not in happiness.... Painful, not even crying. Tears don't come out usually in these cases but ... We have to be self independent emotionally too..... Because we get a hit, a slap from reality ❤️.....
My mother has always invalidated my feelings, and only shown affection towards me when I do well in school. On purpose, I had ended up making an attempt to lower her expectations. I failed a class, and on purpose got Cs and Bs for 1 semester. Sure enough, she was extremely upset. I tried to fix my grades, seeing as there didn’t seem to be a change in her attitude. I shouldn’t be rewarded for meeting expectations, and anything lower, I should be punished. My dad on the other hand, never really cared about grades, but he was extremely conservative. As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, this has been scary. I’m always forced to wear dresses, skirts, “girl colors”, and have been forced to go to religious schools, when I said I didn’t want to. That was a big argument, he had ended up threatening me to “shut me up”. I still love my parents, I just don’t always feel like they love me.
Man I relate to this so much...It really hurts. I want to say that you should just be yourself and not change yourself to meet others expectations, but that would be impossible since I know how scary people can be... I'm an atheist and trans-male, none of my family members figured this out yet. But it's so tiring having to pretend I'm "normal" (by normal I meant the classic female stereotype)
First off, are you ok? Second off, I know this post is old, but I hope you keep in mind that you are not required to forgive the ones who forced you on the world nor are you required to love them, either.
@@LaMara-vv2wq I appreciate your words!! Things aren’t much better, probably worse, but I’m trying my best. I’ve just gone with the idea that I just have to do this a little while longer and then I’ll move out, go to a good college, and be myself. My parents are really confusing to me, so I’m unsure how I feel about them. Once I understand better, then I think I’ll be able to figure out if we can actually have a nice relationship or if I’ll be able to forgive them. Thank you for your thoughtfulness, I’ll be sure to keep your words in mind.
Speaking from personal experience, toxic parents be like: 1. They always find something to criticize about you. 2. You'll never be good enough in their eyes. 3. "I'm saying/doing this because I love you!" 4. If they were hurting and couldn't be happy then you have to, too. 5. Comparing has become a habit. 6. They dislike what you like and constantly look down on your interests. 7. They're sometimes narcissistic and or a religion fanatic while trying to force their beliefs on you. 8. They don't acknowledge things that you have done. 9. They don't care about your feelings, but respond dramatically when they feel hurt. 10. They never own their mistakes or simply say "sorry". 11. Yet after everything they've done they wonder why you're growing so distant. Sorry, just had to get that out of my chest.
I realized I’m not alone. Many men and women have trauma from their childhood (or adulthood)from bad parents. But we keep going. Everyone has a different motivation but that’s the most important part. Our world didn’t end
My Mother raised me constantly telling me that family comes first, that when you grow up, you must care for those who have cared for you all your life. Yeah, in hindsight, that should've been a big red flag, but I didn't notice at the time as she slowly began to drive away my father who, while he wasn't perfect, she would CONSTANTLY bring up mistakes he made in his life as if he did then yesterday, but was YEARS ago after he already had time to learn his lesson. It was very helpful realizing what kind of person she was by watching you "Things Narcissists would never do" and "Signs of Gaslighting" videos, because I recognized that my mother exhibited ALL of those traits from BOTH videos, and I realized the situation I'm currently in. I am currently living in my own house, but my mother, having nowhere else to go, and not able to afford retirement, lives with me. She relies on me. Leans on me. Depends on me. I realized too late that I was conditioned since childhood into being her retirement investment, and now I'm stuck. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Cut her out? She has nowhere else to go.
i wouldn't recommend doing that.. talk to her.. about what happened in the past and that she has a lot of problems in her that she needs to fix.. if she doesn't listen just ignore her or maybe find a home or building where old people live
Exactly I don’t get this..like I get that you should care for family if they are struggling in life but I have my own life and I don’t want my parents at 60 years old having to take care of them in my own home as if I owe it to them for taking care of me..like as if..taking care of me is your job as a parent so I don’t owe you anything..and plus you’d be a grown damn adult I don’t want them in my home especially if they are toxic. Like let me live my life and go get a job or something. It sounds really rude but it pisses me off.
~ Time Stamps ~ • Accept that they won't change 0:46 • You are the master of your own happiness 2:12 • Acknowledge you are not at fault for your childhood pains 2:44 • You're not irreparable broken 3:14 • Forgiving them is not required for healing to begin 4:19 Have a great and peaceful day ahead 🤍☺️ as said in the video " you are the master of your happiness"🥰
I have C-ptsd from childhood trauma. I come from a very toxic family unit, and I was mistreated, neglected and emotionally abused by my mom and her side of the family. Sometimes all the hurt surfaces and it’s very painful to deal with. This video helped me today. Thank you.
I’m 19 and I have toxic parents. I moved away from my mother 2 years ago but then my grandmother said she can’t have me there anymore because she “didn’t wanna deal with my mom” I was 17 at the time so the law around that is tough. My grandmother said I could stay with her when I’m 18 but I never went back because she wanted to control me as well. It was my dad’s side too that I wasn’t even close with because my mom kept me away from them. I’m still with my mother and she has an addiction problem but claims she’s clean she doesn’t respect my boundaries, she hits me, puts her anger on me, steals from me, lies to me. I could go on. But I’m moving on my own soon. My dad is also toxic he doesn’t take my emotions seriously. He stopped giving me money for clothes and stuff, he left me abandoned with a toxic mother and refused to help me with college when he works an on call job & in a huge home. While I struggle everyday Those who are young going through this: you are not the problem and try to go out as much as you can and set boundaries
This video was just one big childhood trauma flashback for me. I could barely hear what you were saying over the mental replays of a yelling father and physical abuse.
One of the most frustrating things about my toxic mom is the temper tantrums. She behaves like a toddler when she doesnt get her way or when you set boundaries.
My parents doesn’t even want to consider my certificate that I did for an Online Course because they think I cheat on the test when I literally tried my best
@@Nickgamer7512 Since they won't say it I will. I am proud of you😊. Do me a favour do not pay attention to them. Focus on you and what makes you happy. Their emotions are not your problem. Stay blessed🤲🙏
I tried so hard to get an apology from my mum. I tried so hard to prove that she ruined me, my mental health, and my life. She's not a bad person so at one point I started blaming myself. I believed I was a bad person and it was all my fault. It wasn't. I was just a kid. And she is a good person, yes, but she hasn't been a good mother to me. She didn't hurt me on purpose but I was still neglected and psychologically abused. This is a reminder that if your parents are not loving, understanding, or "normal" maybe it is not your fault. You are worthy of love. We all are. And you don't have to wait for an apology to move on or finally love yourself. Because what if they never recognize what they did to you?! You deserve better. At least you should be kind to yourself.
I'm so glad I started therapy last year. Many of my trauma comes from my father and he pulls the blame game and the "my fault" card a lot. Watching these types of videos from Psych2Go are really reassuring and let's me know that all the negativity my father has said to me for several years is incredibly wrong
Haha, I was that person. But after that, even my mother apologized, they are still the same. They will bully you one day if you still trust them. My plan is leaving them as soon as possible. In short term, you should curse them for what they did to you. They know they are bullying and they're afraid if I start to curse them. Finally, search for help from other trustable. They can help you to limit their behaviour and protect you.
thankyou for this, they always deflect and blame their own parents without taking responsibility for not healing themselves the cycle breaks with the ones willing to heal🦋🍀
@@shakurwonders5216 someone has to break the cycle trauma embeds in the dna and is passed down we even have passed trauma from our ancestors but once its healed thats the cycle breaking you can do it believe in yourself🍀
Firstly I would like to thank you for your diagrams, soft voice and not having to watch a youtuber who appears to love themselves shouting and speaking quickly but I appreciate they are after views but on a serious subject like this you have found the perfect presentation. Secondly thanks for including subtitles, I'm British and often don't catch certain words with an American accent no matter how many times I rewind. Sending you big love and respect .
Currently working two jobs trying to move out after two dozen years of CONSTANT DEGRADATION. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL I WALK OUT OF THIS HOUSE FOR THE LAST TIME AND NEVER HAVE TO COME BACK OUTSIDE OF MY OWN CHOICE TO DO SO
thank you for this. Just dealt with an ongoing week of just toxic conversations with my mom while trying to help them. I really needed this, love you guys
Hardest thing is when your the oldest, especially a girl. Your the first try to EVERYTHING, so everything is all your fault and you always have to do everything..😢😢
This is why I subscribed to this channel. I have my mum who is SUPER angry at me and uses a belt to just WHIP me! I'm SUPER getting tired here in the Philippines because of HER (she's such a CHILD ABUSER!!!!!) and my huge, HUGE dream is going to Japan real soon since I'm ALSO getting SUPER tired of her as well! Thank you for this video. :)
Sorry to hear about your pain. I wish I was there to rescue you! It’s not your fault remember that. No one deserves to be beaten and abused. Theirs no need to use physical pain. It’s never productive. I wish you well my friend 🥺❤️🤗
The point about giving up the hope that they will change is 100% true. I'm 40 now and just got into a huge fight with my dad, because even after 40 years of him abusing me and not being a dad i STILL feel that surely.. if i say the right things.. if i explain myself well enough.. surely he'll understand. After all.. who doesn't wanna love their child. Turns out.. your parents are what they've been, not what you need them to be.
My father always put me down by saying the other kid is better than me, eventhough I'm the only child. That's make me feel like I'm worthless, wasn't capable of doing anything. I feel tired of him
Dear lord I wish I could afford to move out I’m 21 years old and I still can’t afford to move out. I’m sick of being blamed for everything that goes wrong in the house. I’m also a middle child so that doesn’t help. The price of rent and living is so damn high! I live in Belfast Ireland.
To all people who have toxic parents.. please when you decide to have a kid.. please try break the cycle.. don't let yourself be your own parents.. think about your future children.. they deserves to be treated like what kid should be..
Remembering my mom telling me to my face that I was a "bad kid" and that I deserved to be hurt as a child, and that I'd be lucky to ever find anyone that loved me unconditionally, let alone expect it from my parents... The hardest part is working up the resources to move out while living in the same house as them, and trying to avoid being kicked out because I'm "taking advantage of their generosity" by not pretending that everything's okay between us.
When you see a story of the EXACT same situation as yours, it makes me think that whatever you think you are going through that nobody can understand. There is never really a situation to which no human being has ever exeperienced, but there are some people that understand. Makes me so happy and I hope we both get through thiings!
I came to this video because my mom had just yelled at me for my phone making noises. She said I needed to turn it off. ( this is a very vague sentence, so I wasn’t sure what she meant”and it tried to explain that I didn’t know what she meant and she stormed away, leaving my door open. I got up and asked if she could close it because that’s how it was at the start” I definitely pushed my luck there” and she said, your right there, you just do it, and don’t ask me again. I close the door and run to my closet. Every person with “ toxic” mom(s) now’s they have a special relax space to calm down In. Resize that the things you say affect ❤
Thank you for posting this! I am a little late Bc I was busy but this is so helpful and what I needed! My parents are like in the middle they take care of me but I’m shoved out fo the picture! And I edit and they are like “isn’t time to give up on your little dreams and edits and actually get somewhere in life?” And then I always walk away crying! I’m depressed with ADHD and very bad anxiety from my parents! I just want to be happy again
My sister is struggling with my toxic parents lately while dealing with college. I have suffered also for years but this time everything that I learned from my suffering with my parents(until now even working) gave me the realizations with these major points in the video. After I gave advice and just comforted my sister, I gave her this link of the video without knowing the context and when I watched this just now. I'm glad I shared this link cause everything I said to her was the same with this analogy and thank you for making this video.
I have toxic parents, and during their separation, they tried to manipulate me into liking one or the other, and if I did something wrong on their part I would get beat. I know it can be fixed but up to this point, I reminisce about the past too much, sometimes I snap at small criticisms towards me, and feels like they have already ruined my life to the point I can’t be successful.
It seems I can't be hearing these tips often enough. Healing from trauma through abuse as a child is a long, tough and lonely struggle. I realise now that I am fortunate to hear and onderstand what this video means to say and that I can assure myself that I'm on the right track towards healing. Even so, hard days are always a part of the struggle. It's good to remember what this video explains and how important it is to keep believing: we're going to be okay.
Srsly. My parents were like I should be grateful for their toxic behaviour, because according to my mom, they (my parents) could have been much worse with me.
I'm 14,confused and scared even though I get scared even with their presence I , am not really sure about toxicity. Everyone in my family says that I often overreact but, in reality I do not even react anymore....I just share things with my other family members that my parents do to me. I can't list all of those things but here are some that I am sick of: 1.My mother just relieving all of her anger and stress by physically and verbally abusing me 2.My father not caring about anything related to me even if its really important 3.Both of them hating me for no reason but because I belong to their spouse's family I try my best to please both of them but end up hurting myself even more.....All they do for me is come to my school and proudly tell everyone that they are my parents(I am a badgeholder/prefect at my school and I get pretty good grades) I don't know what to do...I don't wanna live anymore...
In most instances, children emerging from families with toxic parents will lack awareness of social concepts and be at a disadvantage in their adult lives. Are there any resources for these adults to study? Sharing awareness of the hidden costs and consequences of the negative behaviors passed to the child from their toxic parents would also help. There are too few benevolent folks with the patience and motivation to educate and socialize with the adults affected by toxic parents. The internet could help fill this void and encourage self-healing.
That's the thing ... because I tend to forgive first before healing no wonder I'm trap still and can't move on... I don't need to forgive to heal for in the process forgiving is easy for a healed heart...thank you for your video!
I can definitely relate to what was said. I've already begun doing a few of the things listed here. There weren't rly any issues at first except there were a few signs... It was only when I discovered who I truly was that their biases came full force :/. But I'm in the process of hopefully being able to cut them off.
I’m from Maine, disabled…narcissistic mother who resents having me…father gone. Narcissistic stepfather. 3 siblings but they are all gone…suffering while trying to get back on my feet. But living in this house is not easy.
