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If You Love Someone Let Them Go... Does It Work
Today we are going to discuss if letting an ex go is a viable strategy to getting them back
If you love something let it go
if it returns, it’s yours
If it doesn’t, it never was
If you love someone, set them free
If they come back, they’re yours
If they don’t, they never were,
This quote has been a basis of romantic comedies and philosophies for years, but today were going to look at real life data if that method actually works.
So the question, does letting an ex go, to get them back;
It does to a point
In 2015, I created something called the ex-boyfriend recovery podcast where I would take a question about getting an ex back and answering it. I wanted to see how successful the podcast would be. But one thing that struct me is how open people were about their intimate stations. It taught me about what is working right now.
A woman had been a long-time reader of my website and she had been trying to get her ex back for almost a year, she moved on and started a new business started dating casually. Trying to move on from the first break up had caused. She called in and asked a question. When she moved on and started living life, he started coming back. He wants to be with her all of a sudden, why is this?
What’s interesting about this, it’s a pattern I noticed on a longer-term basis. If you notice when you are trying to get your ex back doing all the things right the odds were not in your favour but when you started to show signs of moving on, their ex would start to show signs of wanting to come back.
This is where I called it a term, moving on without moving on. Moving on alone is not enough to make an ex want to come back to you. I have identified four things that have to happen if you want to get your ex to want to come back to you
#1 - Sometimes your ex will need a little bit of a push
I’m a big believe in causation or cause and effect. I don’t believe that letting your ex go and moving on is enough to make them want to come back and one of those things is that you need to give your ex a bit of a push. For some it can be just seeing you be successful. Sometimes you need something to change to make your ex notice you
#2 - Change must occur
These two are interconnect, for your ex to want to come back to you, something has to change. As Albert Einstein staid, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result each time”. if you don’t change a variable in the equation then your ex is going to look at you as the same person. They have these preconceived notions of who you are. They will view you in a new way if you make the changes.
#3 - Don’t base your whole life around your ex
So in the end this really comes down to priorities, there is something very wrong about you making your ex priority number one, I tell my clients you have to be willing to lose the guy to get the guy. Love is just a small section of your whole entire life. And that is where the Holy Trinity comes in. You have your health, wealth and relationships where you have to make sure you are focusing on all areas of your life. Instead of one focus on your ex and throw all other things to the side.
#4 - Looking for an ex to make you feel good? Not the way to go
So they did studies on children where they said if you were to over praise or under praise a child it can be harmful. So what do I mean by over praising. There is a realistic type of praise. A lot of clients see their relationship as a way to cure all your problems in life. Which is where a problem is created. Where your happiness relies on other people. Make yourself happy first. Before entering a relationship.
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2 авг 2024
