I used to think and say, "everybody is a bit bisexual" until one day it hit me that people are literally only attracted to one gender. That's when I found out I'm bi.
In my childhood I was indoctrinated and bought into the conservative idea that sexuality was a choice and the ridiculous notion that lesbians were just women who hated men and so just opted to date women instead. It didn't seem crazy to me, since I felt like I could choose either men or women (in theory--in practice, I wasn't allowed to choose women because that would be "wrong"). I think maybe when I realized that some (most?) people actually *can't* just choose which gender to date it occurred to me that I'm bi. Lol.
@@itisdevonly There's a group that does! it's called political lesbians, they have... uh, they certainly have *a* history, there's a lot of radical, extreme feminism in that movement, but basically they're the female version of gay MGTOWs and they call women who are literally not attracted to women "gender traitors". for... being straight. thankfully they're on the feminist fringe like TERFs. Yeah that was a very strange thing I learned about that day. It felt a lot like when Alex Jones was sort of right about his gay frogs tirade (the chemical he was railing about WAS causing major hormonal changes in a wild frog population where there was runoff, and causing male frogs to become feminize and take on female-mimic reproductive roles, close enough to "gay" in his constantly-on-the-edge-of-a-stroke-angry brain).
Still so weird to me, I can’t even comprehend people being monosexual. Really only reason I have to admit it’s probably a thing is why would homosexuals face all that adversity if they didn’t have to? Unless they all just choose a person that happens to be of their gender over everyone else of course.
"Find a different career" Shout out to that professor. No one should have to be afraid to go to a doctor just because they don't know if they're going to treat you well or not.
I'm a med student, and a few weeks ago, we had a conscientious objection lecture in which we were polled on "controversial" procedures. 20% of my class said they'd have a "conscientious objection" to providing gender-affirming hormones or surgeries. We had the LGBT+ and trans sessions a week later, which was... interesting.
Parenthood is another role (not a career but still) where a person has no business entering that role if they would feel "uncomfortable" parenting a child who was not cis-straight.
@@saltypork101 Yeah, this is a problem up to the point where there are programs just to foster LGBTQ+ kids. I mean, the program is nice, but I don't want anyone to need it.
I got anxious today because I realized I don't know how I can get a date with a woman without being on the dating apps. I hate how heteronormative everything around me is...
"But don't you have a preference?" "Sure, but preferring lettuce to liver doesn't make me a vegan." Best bisexual response ever, from a long-defunct web comic.
I've come out to my mom several times as bi. She always says bi people have a preference, hence can't be attracted to multiple genders. Also insisted I couldn't possibly be queer when I was dating a genderfluid friend, I was just experimenting or confused. When I came out as ace, she asked me if I discussed this with my therapist. I considered this an improvement over her past behavior.
One of my homies is bi and he’s got a non-binary partner rn who recently decided that they are most comfortable being referred to as my friends boyfriend. And holy shit it makes me so happy to hear my homie say “my boyfriend”! I know he had a hard time coming to terms with his bisexuality so to hear him talk about his boyfriend so casually and affectionately is just amazing!
My sister realised she was bi, a few years ago and when she told her boyfriend, he said, "I thought you already knew?" They've been together for several years now and he spent the whole relationship thinking she'd already came out, though he still can't explain how he knew other than it was just obvious to him.
Sometimes that happens. I came out as trans to my mother and her response was just, "Okay... Okay yeah. Yeah, that makes sense." She thought I was gay when I was little, so it was funny how she ended up being half right. If you're open and honest with someone, and they pay attention to who you are as a person, they'll figure it out, sometimes before you do.
That happened to my husband and me😄 been together since we were 15, got married, have a kid and only last year I really realized I am bi. Told him and he went "well, yes... That was always clear to me"🤣🤣
First of all, as an ace-spec guy dating a bi girl, the thing about "straight" couples at Pride hit home. Second, the best part about dating a bi person is that you know they like you better than not only everyone of your gender, but better than everyone!
Im pan and used to date a nb person who was also pan and we looked like a straight couple so yeah, same... and now I'm dating a cishet guy so the internalized "you're faking it" hits hard 🤡
that phrase is kind of cute, even though as a polyamorous person, i don't derive love from “being better than everyone“ but just “being awesome to my partner“ regardless of who else they love. The same way that friendships aren't less valuable just because your friend has other friends, too! :)
For those people who get biphobia from people they were going to date. You dodged a bullet. I went out with a girl who near the end of the date we walked by the LGBTQ+ center and I waved to some friends there. She was confused and I came out to her (I was still newly out and was awkward) she proceeded to tell me how it doesn't line up with her religious beliefs the rest of the way to her dorm. I can't believe I split a cinnamon roll on top of ice cream with her.
I hope you have had many better dates since your comment, but I just have to say ... Cinnamon rolls on ice cream!? I feel like someone just told child-me she could have cake AND ice-cream for dessert!
Always wanna appreciate whenever I'm reminded, Rosa Diaz both coming out and saying the actual word bisexual on TV made me cry. B99 may be about cops in theory but I'm practice it's the most wholesome show
B99 works ESPECIALLY because they're cops. They regularly call out some of the terrible stuff the police does. Also it's such a comfort show, everyone in there (except hitch and Scully but eh) is so comfy and accepting and I just wish everywhere it could be that wayydhdv s
Some rando (with a wedding ring) tried to invalidate my bisexual self while I was eating a cookie at my uni, the whole "You can't be Bi, you are engaged to a man" bs. I don't know what possessed me that day but Iawnsered back "are you saying I have to have a man and a woman at the same time to be Bi? Because I know your wife is going to love that" and continued eating my cookie.
I had a straight colleague try to tell me I "picked a side" when got married. "You love [wife] more than anything. You think she's the most perfect person." "Just because I'm not looking to date them doesn't mean people stop being good-looking." "They did for me." "Really? You don't wanna see Chris Hemsworth shirtless?" "Everyone wants to see that man shirtless, that doesn't mean anything." "Okay. Now imagine there's more than one of him."
THIS!^^^^ I was bi long before getting in my current relationship, but for some reason I still struggle and feel the need to downplay my own bisexuality because I feel like the more I broadcast and assert it, the more I'm saying "yeah sure I love my husband but he only satisfies PART of me!" which obviously isn't the case, but at the same time, like why does it really matter anymore who ELSE I'm still attracted to if I'm truly happy and committed? For awhile I told people "I used to be bi but I'm now (Insert his name)-sexual" in some strange attempt to reassure him or something. He seemed to find it cute and would proudly tell people of my "new" identity if the topic came up in conversation. I've since dropped it and gone back to affirming my real sexuality when the topic comes up and he hasn't said the old term or mentioned it so I think I'm good there but, yeah it's been an internal battle. I would love to go to pride but that same feeling still bothers me.
Just a reminder: You aren't "just confused." You know how u feel better than other ppl do, don't let them gaslight you. Also, erasure is very real, especially when ppl are faced with an experience they haven't seen or interacted with. A lot of the time instead of asking questions so they can understand, they just say whatever ur talking about doesn't exist.
Yep because they are projecting. They are the one being actually confused. Confused about bisexuality/pansexuality, biromantism/panromantism, bi/pan people and so on for other sexual/romantic/types of relationships minorities.
I mean, you can be confused even when you're bi. I'm an enby bi and there are many things that confuse me. But what genders I'm attracted to is not something I'm confused about. No, I'm confused about things like "why do my chocolate snacks keep evaporating so fast?" or "i got 8 hours of sleep, why am I still so tired?"
My doctor/GP had me in today (trans unrelated) for the first time since I changed my gender (and name) with my insurance company. The only question that arose was at the front desk, one staff member to the other "do I confirm this box or do I have to check this to transfer the data?" and making sure I'm me by asking for my date of birth. My doctor did ask if I already had top surgery, but that was very clearly medically related because I was in for chest pain in the area scars would go. Nobody batted an eye or asked anything not related to the issue at hand. 💜
im so happy for you! its great to see you had no hassle in a place where hassle can happen unfortunately. as much as this sort of treatment is the bare minimum, its nice to know that not everywhere is filled with hate
Prawn the cat is so cute!!! Being in the bi, ace, and aro communities I've received a lot of hate from inside the LGBT+ community and out over the years and I'm so happy to see so many of the memes today were wholesome! Makes me hopeful that the community won't attack itself forever :)
@@Vexic929 i know you weren't speaking yo me but i just wanted to say that ive never heard of vocasexual so i looked it up and that sounds so cool - a fellow ace 😊💜
Just because we have chosen a person doesn't mean we have chosen a side! My own boyfriend doesn't understand that just cause I'm with him doesn't make me automatically straight so don't worry you're not alone!
Sounds just as valid to me, though I can appreciate that there would be times of self doubt. My wife's friend once asked her what if she found out her husband (that is, me) was bisexual. My wife said, it doesn't make any difference; we're monogamous.
I spend a lot of time feeling erased or even like I'm a LGBTQ+ lesser because I'm a Bi woman dating a man. Videos like this really warm my heart & hug my soul. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 💗💜💙
My partner is friends with a lesbian couple that is SO BIPHOBIC its ridiculous! They spout such BS that bisexual women are more likely to cheat and they would never date one because clearly they prefer men 🙄 One time I drunkenly told one of these women that she's biohobic but I love her anyway and then she got really defensive and denied it so much for weeks after. It's so uncomfortable being rejected by your own community and not being believed that you like women. I feel that I constantly have to prove to people that I like women because I'm in a relationship with a man.
🫂 I know the feeling to, I'm kinda still in the closet with a lot of people cos I've been burned by the LGBTQ community before. I'm married to a man so I often feel like I don't fit in the community anymore or that I'm not 'allowed' in that space.
Feminists and lgbts are always like "men bad, i wish i was attracted to women." Meanwhile, most bisexuals, whether men or women, end up with men. I wonder why that is? Lol
I can concur with the “in theory bisexual, in practice frightened” one. I know I’m bi (or something similar) but I’ve never had a genuine relationship and I have no clue how to get into one and the thought of trying scares the crap out of me.
@@LikeaVictorianLady indeed, I just turned 34 last month, and I’m just massively socially awkward (being autistic doesn’t help) and I’m having to try to learn to engage with people in a social setting without outside help and… well Covid certainly didn’t help with that, either.
@@MidoriyamaRArekusu 33 years old and same. I don't think I can have one right now. So I'm giving myself more time. It's not like there's an age at which I have to have someone there. 🙂 Just take your time, you're still awesome.
I'm also in my thirties, pan aligned aroace in theory too. My mom, whom I'm taking care of, has early onset Alzheimer's so I'm not able to focus on relationships now either and perhaps for a decade or longer. Amatonormativity can stuff itself while we all learn to navigate a relationship focused society while we're left here estranged from relationships
@@bunnykatzen indeed, my mum is fine health wise but I’ve decided on focus on helping her more with the house and finances after my dad passed last year unexpectedly. So my focus for now is to get into a good place mentally and emotionally, then try to get into employment so I can help more with keeping things together.
Hi everyone! I'm bi and back in the closet after being invalidated so often by people close to me. The "opposite sex relationships make you straight" stigma is so hurtful:( Still I feel so happy writing this and always get euphoria while watching queer content:) Someday I will be validated and will be able to express it freely I hope:D
Hey, that's a year old, but i saw this and wanted to ask, how you're doing? Bi stereotypes (and stereotypes overall) are really harmful, it always annoys me when someone doesn't use the logical part in their brain. I hope you're out again, bi power :p -a dumb omnisexual (bisexual subcategory)
9:17 Always makes me smile to see this one. My household isn’t necessarily homophobic, but they don’t believe I’m bi because I only ever point out men as being attractive in tv shows. I don’t feel attracted to women as easily as men, but it is *definitely* still there. But whenever I did point out women, it wasn’t someone that was obviously supposed to be attractive for the show, so they thought I was just trying to be quirky or something. It doesn’t help that they don’ think that you can be gay and trans or bi and trans or whatever (I’m a trans man), so they just think that I’m a straight cis woman who is being attention-seeking. And I know that they’re not trying to be mean, they are just looking out for me, but they clearly don’t understand and it’s just frustrating sometimes. Anyway, this post always makes me feel better whenever I see it because it reminds me that I don’t have to feel equally attracted to women and men, and that my taste in women is just way more specific than my taste in men. I feel like there is why too much out there saying that you have to be equally attracted to both genders to be bi. You certainly can be, but you don’t have to be, and that’s something I feel is important to remember :)
Something I've always said is that I feel too gay for straight people and too straight for gay people. Not sure if that makes sense but it's sad how it's a double-edged sword for us - we get flack from outside and inside the community. And being ace and bi you hear things...but anyway, love these videos because they never fail to make me laugh at how ridiculous some people can be!
I think this is something that Shaaba discussed in her "the bi cycle? is that a thing?" video. It was really helpful for me, who is possibly panromantic, because I often feel like a fraud when looking at myself as LGBT (also demisexual which feels like not-entirely-ace), but I also don't feel completely straight. You might like to check out that video to hear her experiences with (doubting) bisexuality.
The whole ace and bi thing is mine as well. I didn't know ace was a thing until later in life, I could just never understand that if there was a persons personality I was attracted to the most I wanted to do with them was cuddle. Perhaps clothed, perhaps not.
Pansexual here: the worst is when women will try to queerbait me at bars/parties for male attention. That shit bothers me. I'm not a prop, I'm a human with feelings. Lol definitely heard a lot of negative things like "oh you're just greedy" 🙄 not greedy- I'm just attracted to personalities, not meat suits. Lol
^^^THIS^^^ I’m on the Pan/Omni spectrum, & the amount of AFAB people (particularly in my college years) who assumed I was willing to ‘play’ publicly with them so they could bask in the bro-tention was always disgusting. And, back then, confusing. They’re the equivalent of the AMAB folks who would feel the need to tell you, in confidence, how they had, “always wanted a threesome with two women.” *cue look of dull surprise* Straight people, bi/pan/omni identifying individuals are not sex toys. We are not there simply to be used for your enjoyment with no consideration as to our emotional complexity. Inside we have a personality, a soul. Not batteries. Luckily, as of late, the only people I see doing the, ‘Ooh, we should make out to get those guys attention’ gambit are self-identified straight cis women. Hey, knock yourselves out. But also - consider therapy to figure out why you are so desperately competing for the male gaze
I remember vividly my mom and some of her friends talking about some people who were "switching teams" and that they said that they were bisexual, but my mom and her friends saying, "There's no such thing as bisexual. They just don't know which team they are on yet. They'll figure it out." This messed me up for YEARS.
The biphobia from lgtb+ community is unreal. Like we're literally the B in the acronym, but still trying to prove our existence and validity within the community.
I always make the joke of “ what do you think the B stands for Bacon” even though I don’t eat bacon because I’m Jewish my boyfriends response is less nice he uses the B as Bitch
I'm a recovering biphobe. As a gay man who was treated poorly in my early sexlife by bisexual guys, I let it form a general opinion that later proved to be false as I am married to a bisexual man and I turned out to be trans feminine non-binary. We can always learn and grow. 😊
That first one! My Dad kept telling me that whenever a bi guy was on TV "he's just gay". Sad to admit that I kind-of believed him until a few years ago I realised I had a massive crush on a guy while working at my last job. Then I was like "OH GOSH, they are real, and I am ONE OF THEM!!!"
One time I told someone I was bi and they didn’t know what it was. I explained and they asked, “Wait, are you lesbian or straight?” And I said, neither and they said “Wait so you’re asexual?” I told them what I was again and they asked if I was confused and I was rolling around laughing but also super annoyed
Phobia in the LGBT+ community makes no sense. The other day, my "friend" (who is a bisexual) refused to use my pronouns, deadnamed me, and then called me an object. AND THEN BEFORE THAT, HE WAS EVEN CONFUSED THAT I WAS BI??? LIKE, SIR, ITS THE SAME AS YOU???
Hey darling, ignore the other commenter. They made like 3 comments invalidating trans & non binary folks like us. It’s about them, not us ❤️ I’m sorry your “friend” acted like this.
@@gabrielpaquette6764 I don’t think it can think. Jessi here is what we call “empty-minded” it once claimed it was ‘open-minded’, but while it was doing some *extreme* mental gymnastics, it’s brain fell out!
Absolutely love the pizza girl story! As a cis/bi gal, I get really bummed out when there is Biphobia, Panphobia, Transphobia or any other kind of nonsense like that in the LGBTQA+ community. Isn't our slogan supposed to be Love is Love? We really need to practice what we preach.
@@cgmanning Exactly! I think a lot of people can't wrap their heads around the idea that nobody is "choosing" to be LGBTQA+ but that we are instead looking inside ourselves and Discovering who we really are. It's not easy to peel back the layers of hate and misinformation and other garbage that we have been subjected to our whole life. When we finally make that breakthrough of "Now I understand who I am!" other people don't see the long intense process of what it took to get there. I remember not even realizing that bisexuality was a thing until I talked to someone about liking both men and women. I was convinced I had to pick a side and that there was no inbetween. And it still took years to fully come out to myself as bisexual.
@@cgmanning And now I'm seeing hate because people think bisexuals aren't inclusive enough because they don't label themselves as pan. It's like we can never be good enough, especially when it's based on bogus assumptions.
9:00 Basically 100% me in highschool, except with being pan, a bunch a girls for my class were like: them: "so you'd actually date a girl?" me: "girl, boy, non-binary, again, gender doesn't partically matter too me" them: "so would you date any of us?" me: "no I have standards, I'm pan not desperate"
The professor is on point. Not only will they have to treat people with different believes, but they might also have to treat prisoners. If the institution is well known for their expertise, prisons might send very ill prisoners there to be treated. Also gang members or political leaders, etc. If you can't deal with helping people with views/lifestyles different to yours, find a career that doesn't involve human contact (or much of it).
Such a good point! It's often brought up in the context of race or sexuality, but it's very true that there are tons of different beliefs/morals/lifestyles/religions/etc that doctors may come across when treating patients and it's the same for all of it. Not wanting to treat a gay person, not wanting to treat someone who's committed a crime, not wanting to treat priests or ministers... If you have biases that bad in *any* area you shouldn't be in a field like that.
@@MargoMB19 yup! My dad is a neurosurgeon and he’s had to operate on plenty of people from all sorts of backgrounds, some that he agreed with and some not. One week he’d be working on a football player with a spinal injury, and the next on someone who got stabbed. The next week a very old chronically woman, the next a young person. He’s had to do examinations for the court before, and give an unbiased explanation of injuries. Medicine shouldn’t be for people who let their biases control them because then there’s no point to it. Ofc, there are definitely flaws in the system that let this stuff happen. But overall it just, it shouldn’t be a thing. There’s no point in wanting to help heal and take care of people if your definition of “people” is limited to straight, cis, or white people.
Dude, this is like...any ER ever. We get homeless, clear people to go to jail, fix ppl who got messed up _in_ jail, etc. The hardest case I worked was losing a man who'd been shot 3 times in the chest, telling his wife and kids that he'd passed, then having to medically clear the man who shot him. Yknow what I did? Treated the dude and sent him off to jail.
I always find it so funny and weird when people try to tell bi people 'you're just confused', because I feel like it would be *easiest* to know if you're bi or pan, since you would have felt attraction to multiple people of different genders. But if you're only attracted to one gender, or none, then you get the 'you just haven't met the right one yet'. It's also just weird in general when people try to say 'you're just confused', because I daresay we know our own feelings better than some random karen?
It's not easy to know if you're Bi (I can't speak for the Pan experience) at least it wasn't for me, I still feel a lot of uncertainty around it years after coming out. I actually found that Shaaba's Bi cycle video expressed a lot of my feelings around being Bi pretty well.
It's true. I think I'm straight because I've only experienced attraction to men. But maybe one day, I'll meet some woman and be like, huh, everything I thought I knew is a lie. . .
@@saltypork101 Now now, we don't like it when others tell us our sexuality isn't real, we shouldn't do it to others. Unless, of course, it's intended as a "let's see how you like it" counterattack. 😉
In other words, you're just a goofball who thinks the existence of one criminal would somehow invalidate everyone who happens to have a similar sexuality to the criminal? Sounds more like anti-science bear to me. Tell me, would mentioning the name of one straight criminal somehow make it invalid for everyone else to be straight? @@science_bear
I feel, as a Demi-sexual, an intense kinship with the Bisexuals. Particularly around my identity being erased or treated as somehow not fundamental if I’m in a relationship...like, I’m still on the ace spectrum...this...this is literally what Demi is, I picked a person and we’re in love...still ace... I feel like the Demi’s and the Bi’s should form an alliance!
I really don’t know what it seems everyone has against bi men. Some of the coolest guys I know are bi and, while I may be biased as a bi woman, if I’m going to date a guy I’d prefer him to be bi/pan/etc. because of the similar experiences and they seem to just be so chill. And yes I am currently dating a pan guy and he is wonderful and I love him so much
I would love to date a bi/pan man because we would both be queer and have shared experiences and we could scream together about hot actors and actresses while watching shows, it's THE dream
Totally!! I've also found that since bi/pan men don't define their masculinity by Not Being Gay, there's a lot more room for them to shed toxic masculinity in other ways too
1:22 Just want to point out that, as a medical professional, you need to treat disabled people differently sometimes. They have different needs and in some cases treating them the same way as someone who's not disabled could be dangerous. I know this isn't what you meant, but it's important that's recognised.
As a white, cis lesbian, I would like to apologise for the biphobia, transphobia and racism that exists within the lgbt+ Community. It hurts my heart when I hear it. Prawn is adorable!!!!
You don't need to apologize for actions that aren't yours. You aren't biphobic, transphobic or racist, nor should those bigots define you. That said, thank you anyway.
The sad thing is, I am Bi and I am so scared to tell my parents... They told me like 4 years ago, that they would still love me... But 2 weeks ago I was sleeping, but still hearing... So my aunt, my mom and my dad talked about being a part of the lqbtq community... My dad: "I THINK ALL BI PEOPLE AND TRANS PEOPLE AND THAT SHIT ARE SO ANNOYING! WE GET IT,THAT THEY THINK LIKE THAT BUT I DON'T CARE!" I nearly started crying... I really wanted to run away... What should I do now? 😐
Hey mate, that's really sad :/ I'm sorry you had to hear that but it doesn't necessarily mean that what they said about loving you whatever isn't true. It may just mean that the have a shit fit when you come out but come around in the end. I hope you have people in your life who are supportive and whom you can come out to. Whether and when to come out to your parents is totally up to you. Big love x
@@eliotrix2955 thank you so much... You don't know what that means to me... Especially now... and plot Twist I am a lesbian 😂 yeeah...and my Parents litterly hate anything that has anything to Do with lgbtq...but i have 3 friends that Support me 😊
This video is like that feeling you get when you breathe in fresh air and realise how taking a breath Can actually feel. A few years ago I was following a lesbian account on Instagram, they were asking people to share their first experiences with being gay, but they kept encouraging people to send in their stories while posting very few. Since there was a clear lack of contributions and I didn't mind sharing my story I thought I would give it a go, despite being bi, or likely pan. My story might not fit on their page, I thought, but at least it would give them an option to share it should they choose to (I prefaced the message with me being bi for this reason). I didn't receive an answer at all, and when they kept asking for stories I wrote them to see if they had received my message. They then wrote me that they wouldn't share my story because they wanted their page to be "a safe space" for lesbians, and that just still takes my breath away. Fair enough if they didn't think it fit on their page, fair enough if only experiences from lesbians were welcome, fair enough if they had simply made the choice to not post it because it didn't fit within those parameters - but to make it out to be _unsafe_ for people for me to share my first feelings towards women, simply because I also possess the ability to have those feelings for men, it just, I can't, I still can't find words for that. Something just goes quiet inside of me when I think of this. It's not a big thing. It's this small, very still little thing. But it is also loud. So loud that it drowns out all other sounds, and that uncomfortable stillness that comes with that lack of noise still takes my breath away.
I’m so sorry you had that experience. As a non-binary person I know the feeling you described of a small part of you becoming quiet very well. It happens to me often in cishet spaces when people undermine my existence, but I kind of expect that. It hurts much more in queer spaces because that’s where I’m supposed to feel comfortable and have the ability to be myself to the fullest.
I'm bi (maybe pan? Still figuring that part out) and when I came out to my mom a few years ago, she just told me that it's normal for women to like both men and other women. After all, she feels the same way that I do! ..mom.....that's called being bisexual. You literally just told me that you are also bisexual. I wasn't able to convince her of that though, which is just hilarious to me. She just whole-ass believes that all women are bisexual but that it isn't called bisexuality. I mean, I couldn't have asked for a more accepting response than "yeah lol me too" but I also laugh a lot when I think about this. If you're reading this: love you, mom! That being said, thank you for this video. I rarely tell people my sexual orientation anymore specifically because I am tired of catching shit for it. Seeing your reactions was validating.
I think a bigger percentage of people are bisexual than we believe, at least in terms of some level or period of attraction, but because the pressures on women and men are different in that regard, women get to explore it slightly more before bending to the social expectations and hence at least part of the 'Bi in college' and 'Women's sexualities are more flexible than men's' happens. There may be legitimate reasons behind these narratives to some extent, I just think a bulk of it is about different societal expectations of women and men (or even, going into differences of treatment and type of discrimination between trans men and trans women, AFABs and AMABs)
@@kazikek2674 Also a lot of people misunderstand a fundamental psychological sex difference for "arousal" as being bi: (warning shift to biology terms in 3 2 1) female humans are biologically wired to respond to any sexual stimulus happening around them, even ones not directed at that individual female. It doesn't mean that they're bi or turned on by it, it's just that evolution installed a "just in case" failsafe to try to prepare for getting grabbed by a nearby male who got agitated by the same stimulation. You don't learn about that particular quirk of the reproductive evolutionary arms' race a lot unless you go search for it. (It's also why the human body is stupid and post-menopausal women often need lube despite still feeling arousal, the whole thing is a dumb reproduction process that's only kind of sorta half-heartedly linked to desire.)
I agree with the other reply, that the percentage is probably bigger than we know. I'll just add that I think one way that women kind of get more leeway with it (internally, definitely not as an outward stance) is how our society tends to view women through a (het) male gaze and the media constantly presents women as objects of desire. (I don't mean the feelings are "created" by society, just that when desiring women is the norm, it's easier to confront it within your own thinking.)
@@sharo8760 Oh, absolutely, frequent sexualization of women helps everyone, not just men, see them inherently in a sexual light and confront those feelings, and many men also think (or are conditioned to think) of two women together as either eyecandy or threesome invitation while two men provoke a different response entirely. Social influences are definitely a factor here from multiple angles.
The “finally found a community” thing works for realizing I was ace and then realizing there’s so much toxicity in the community. (Seen so many posts from people saying ace/aros don’t belong, etc). I didn’t see that one coming.
So many people saying we don’t belong because we don’t face discrimination while discriminating against us in the exact same posts. The total lack of self awareness is pretty funny at times.
@@IceFireofVoid Ace and aro phobia are just so present and yet so denied... The a spec in general is just sooo underrepresented, there are people inside of the LGBTQ+ community that don't know what it is to be aro or ace
@@yasminechoerryscherry3701 could not agree more. The under representation of ace-spec people is sad. I didn’t realise I was demisexual until I was 29/30 years old because I didn’t know it was even a thing. Having language to use when talking about how you feel and being able to see yourself represented is so important. The moment on Sex Education when Steve is holding a little sign that says ‘I think I’m demisexual’ made my heart sing!
i'm so sorry boo, i'm demisexual/bi and it makes me so angry and confused when people discriminate against other lgbt people (i haven't personally faced it; i'm not out), even though they, as queer people, have likely faced that exact thing before
i spent most of my latest relationship explaining to my ex that i wasnt going to leave her just because im bi. She also tried to convince me that I wasnt really bi since I was together with a girl. It was really frustrating and made me question my sexuality alot. But since we broke up Ive grown much more confident in myself and can finally see my place in the LGBT+ community!
Mate, same, the first actual relationship I had with a woman (who was a lesbian), I found out through a mutual friend that she’d been seeing another woman (also lesbian) behind my back pretty much the entire time we were together. When I confronted her, she admitted it and said something like “I mean, you’re bi, so you’d have just cheated on me eventually wouldn’t you?” I was both completely faithful and absolutely besotted with this woman, so that was something of a kick in the box. It took a while to get back to the bi pride thing, but what’s helped is rather than getting upset about people saying biphobic stuff, I just laugh at how stupid they must be to believe whatever they’re saying and cut them off completely. Glad you’re feeling better around things too, don’t let the bastards get you down
I don't get the narrative that a person is automatically a cheating or lewd human being only because they aren't cis/white. I mean some politician JUST said about queer representation in Disney movies "oh wow, do we get to see mickey and pluto getting it on now?!" Uh, no?? are you seeing mickey and minnie getting it on?? are other characters more likely to be 'getting it on' because they are not straight/cis? no the frick they're not, especially not in kid's movies! also get your beastiality mind out of the gutter, pluto is a frickin' pet dog. I am straight as heck and even I get it: every individual is a person with the potential to be nice or an asshole. no matter what color, sexual orientation or gender they are. and this white cis male confirmed once more that he chose the asshole-side.
I really hate all the hate that bi men get (assuming you’re a bi man based on the context, apologies if not). I think bi men are just so wonderful and lovely and I just want to protect them all so they all feel safe and loved.
The add I got halfway through the video was Jamie doing a read. I really thought it was just the sponsorship read of the video until I saw the “skip ad” button 😂😂
My partner is a detransitioned (for medical reasons) Trans woman who now identifies with omnigender but presents masculine. and im afab nonbinary. We're both pansexual. But we appear very much as a straight couple. We're hoping to go to pride this year together, so I hope we don't get any shit from assumers
My lovely girlfriend recently realized that they really don't have a preference for pronouns and is pretty genderfluid, which is dope because I was already bi when I started dating her 😂 On TOP of both of us realizing that we're both ace at the same time lmaoo
This was so good!! I am bisexual female in a committed 28 year relationship with my husband. I choose a person for sure. I just choose not to tell a lot of people because I have been in such a long relationship. He knows and he loves me for me. I am glad to see it said that it doesn't invalidate my bisexuality. It makes me feel so happy! Thank you for this lovely video I needed it today!
I love this video. As of now I have not put a label on myself as I sometimes feel like I am too straight to be bi. But the you are attracted to guy 90% of the time and girls 10% or the time (as a girl) = still bi. Made me feel seen. I don't like how this sentiment is sometimes seen as not valid and it makes me feel like I don't belong. Love how Jamie always creates a warm place
7:42 I love this but in my case it's my mom and her bf taking me to pride to be supportive. The thing is, they are the gayest looking straight couple i've ever seen in my life. Like, seriously. Oh my god. And then there is me. The one who can't look gay to save my life. People always think i'm some teen who's parents dragged me here but no no. I'm the gay one not them. Yes i know he's wearing eyeliner and cuffed jeans but i swear he says he's straight
I had to screenshot the "in theory/in reality" meme. My best friend is bi, but we live in a VERY conservative area. He is afraid to ever approach a man for fear that he may get harmed physically. Its a real concern
I only recently found out that I’m bisexual and came out to my friend two weeks ago. To all LGBTQ+ people, thank you for being my family now❤️ I just wanted to share this🏳️🌈
2:25 ugh yes. this infuriates me so much. there is no wrong way of liking multiple genders. just because one person likes 1 gender more than the other doesnt mean the other has to too.
I discovered that I was bisexual/romantic my senior year of high school, but I never really came to terms with it until I discovered your bisexual related videos and it made me feel more comfortable and happy with my sexuality, and proud to be who I am. Just know that even if you're just looking at memes, to other people these videos are very important. Thank you
I'm bisexual and I just came out to my mom last week. My husband has known for years and supports me for who I am. I am coming out after being married for almost a decade because I am finally feeling comfortable enough with my sexuality to share it with friends and family. Growing up in church and being told you will go to hell if you are attracted to the same sex really messes you up and it takes a long time to get those sort of thoughts out of your head to really start accepting yourself for who you are.
Yaaaassss! Same here, came out my husband a few years back after 15 years together. (5 dating, 10 married). Same situation, being raised in a conservative church really stunted my ability to recognize what was going on. The gaydar meme really spoke to me. 😆
I came out while in a relationship with my boyfriend too, everyone around me said that coming out was very “unnecessary” to talk about because apparently that makes me disloyal to my boyfriend. I hope you had good experiences with your coming outs because doing it while in a relationship made so much drama, with my straight, AND GAY family..
Thank you for the support. I literally started crying. I haven't came out to my whole family yet. I have told my husband, mom, sister, best friend, one of my favorite coworkers, 1 of my nieces, and 1 of my nephews. These have all been good and safe people to come out too. I think I am going to try to come out to my dad and brother this weekend since I will be seeing them in person. It is just so hard to get the words out. Also I worry that some people won't see my bisexuality as being legitimate because I am married to a man. I am sure I am not the only one that feels this way.
As someone who recently realized I’m bisexual (or at least biromantic), the “in theory I’m bisexual but in practice I’m frightened” meme is so relatable. I’m terrified of flirting with either gender 😳
I've been through that too, and I'll give you the advice that two of my friends gave to me. One, everyone is a person. You may think the other is beautiful and fantastic and better than you, but in the end they are a person like you with their flaws and quirks, so if you're nervous about flirting with someone just think that they're a person like you. Two, if you're looking for love, try to catch every chance. Flirt with more people at once, try even if you're not sure the other person would reciprocate, just open yourself to the possibility of love or at least mutual attraction. My own advice is: pretend! If you pretend to be confident, you WILL become confident. It works, all of this works, I'm much less shy since I started applying these pieces of advice
I know I'm like a month late catching up on videos, but I still thank you and Shabba for all your awesome content and information that helped me research terminology to discover I can shut many people up and educate the rest when I say I'm pan and demi-sexual.
4:26 I'm not a haunted house bisexual... I'm an overlooking a foggy shoreline bisexual. And yes: more dragons, more dinosaurs, just more animals and cool stuff on pride flags. I'm tired of looking at pride flags and remembering I need to repaint my house.
Bi-romantic asexual trans girl here! Took me some time to figure out my sexuality though, but I feel that describes me well. When I was in denial of my transness, I leaned more towards girls but now I lean more towards guys, but I’d still be fine with girls.
How did you figure out if you're bi romantic though? I'm a double demi and I still contemplate whether I'm romantically attracted just to men or I just didn't find any woman to get attached to.
@@pinkneko13 I'm pan-demiromantic ace. I've thought long about my aro spec identity after figuring out my ace-ness and going off of my own personal experiences with relationships, I've determined I'm demi romantic. As of now, I'm pretty sure I'm pan aligned. That's just how I feel. I'm not in a situation where I'm able to openly explore my queer attraction but my personal feelings tell me I am pan based on how I personally feel about gender. Maybe later I'll figure out I'm not pan, maybe omni, or androromantic, or something else. That's perfectly okay. It might be difficult to be open to your understanding of yourself, that it might change and that labels will change along with it. You don't have to know if you're not attracted to women just because you can't find any at the moment to be attracted to. Bisexuality/bi-romantisim is a spectrum and you can be like 1% attracted to women and 99% attracted to everyone else. You can also look into the Bi-cycle about attraction changing amongst us Bi's.
@@pinkneko13 I can experience physical and emotional attraction to both women and men and enjoy physical intimacy, but I have no real interest in sex itself.
@@adrianblake8876 There's a version of the trans flag with the actual symbol but it never was really used... Even with how boring it is I like the Pink and Blue stripes with white in the middle it is now.
I'm Welsh and my school has a whole group of students dedicated to making sure that lgbtq people are supported and welcomed but what this meant is that during pride they get out the rainbow flags with a huge dragon on the front its great
So this is a story my friend told me about today. It has the same energy as the professor and student meme. So it was art class and everything was calm when suddenly a kid named Jax just yelled out of nowhere that he wanted to live in Russia because apparently LGBTQ+ people get executed there. I think he thought this was really funny or something. Anyway the art teacher (a very nice and chill women who hasn't raised her voice once even when's she's mad in all the time I've known her) started yelling at him and had to stop herself from swearing at him. He ended up getting detention for the rest of the year. I love that art teacher even more now.
The scene with Rosa always makes me cry. Makes me very grateful that I have accepting parents, and sad for all the other bisexual people out there who don't. :( Hang in there. Things will improve. 💖💜💙
So if it wasn't for this person you wouldn't be spending your money on drugs that alter your body permanatly and make you sterile not to mention a plethora of other side effects? That's not a good thing in my opinion
And THAT is why I, as a cis-presenting, non-binary pan-sexual, did not find any support or understanding in the LGBTQI+ community. I'd rather take s... from straight cis-folks, than people who complain about the discrimination and prejudise when they in fact are just as judgemental and hatefull.
It still boggles my mind, how any of us can be so unaccepting. I happen to be the bisexual mama of (among others) an ace spectrum trans enby. We're all just people, right?!
@@VaporRize08 It becomes personal when you take the shit dumped on you by your abuser and you force someone else to eat it for you. It's an abusive cycle and it's not fucking okay and not fucking excusable, not anymore than it's okay to bully the autistic kid at school just because you have a shitty home life.
Closeted bisexual cis man in a long term committed relationship with a bisexual cis woman here (phew long intro). Love watching your videos. They always make me smile Edit: cis*
I’m pansexual but just happy to be here! But I do have a story from when I came out to my at the time best friend as bi! At the time we had just started high school so we were around 13(ish) and one day I had to confidence to finally tell someone how I’d been reflecting on my sexuality, I couldn’t tell my family for all the usual reasons. Previously to coming out to them I told them that I had a crush on one of the boys I’d met at school which they clearly remembered, as soon as I managed to say what I wanted to say their response was “Well you can’t be bisexual because you like *insert male crush* and not *insert other female best friend* !!! And since that day almost seven years ago I always say I’m straight or gay depending on the individual I’m with at the time. TLDR; kids need to be taught more about sexualities.
@@innusafar9438 oh that's ridiculous! Anyone of any gender can use any pronouns. I've seen (cis) people say that only afabs can be demigirls and amabs demiboys, and can only use they/them. Absolutely bonkers
