INFJ PERSONALITY TYPE EXPLAINED | NI-TI Loop | Losing Sense of Self

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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today we're talking about the NI TI loop from the perspective of "losing yourself". This is something that I've seen in the comments recently where people have been asking me: "Okay, why do INFJs doubt themselves so often? Why is it so hard for us to put that sense of self in place; to have something that we want to work towards? Something where we feel: This is worth fighting for? I want this to grow. It's lacking, it's missing and we're losing it. And I believe it has so much to do with the NI TI loop. So today we're going to dive deeper into this topic, understand why it affects our sense of self and how we can reverse that.
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Опубликовано:

12 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 62

@Wenzes 3 года назад

When was the last time you fell into the INFJ NI-Ti Loop?

@rocko3622 3 года назад

I'm stepping out of it rn

@salmaa3801 3 года назад

I think that I fall into it much often because I am currently trying to move on from a past failed relationship

@Hangrier 3 года назад

@@rocko3622 same

@AndreNewinski 3 года назад

You're Perfect :)

@kyunhwoarang 3 года назад

Well, I guess I have been on that loop for 12 years.. and moving around didn't help.. disaster upon disaster didn't help.. I may have that useless skill.. seeing the future on the moment it became the past.. But don't let my negativity stop you.. haha

@bwhitedpencilbox889 3 года назад

Wow! I haven’t head Fe and the Ni-Ti loop described this way. It is so accurate to my experience and this gives me a lot of clarity on some relationship patterns that I’ve fallen into at times. The average description of Fe is unhelpful to looping infjs

@edwardzhou8590 3 года назад

Thank you, negative Fe is what I find most people describe it as: only following external rules, only keeping harmony... no source talks about positive Fe like you did: finding self and being okay with being alone, expressing self to others so they can see your true form and gifts. Using that to inspire and motivate positive change for others, all from self love. Yes you may still want to appear classy or a certain way, but without self expression and self love, Fe will only be a hinderance that takes you away from authenticity, hence it will be harder to get out of the Ni Ti loop! The 1% rule is so amazing and true. Like just having one person reflect upon your strengths and help you be you can make such a difference!

@jessenceq3250 3 года назад

I used to always express my opinions (around 18-22 years old). I stopped after a time. My opinions used to be a lot of criticism though. Yet my life back then and always has not reflected one I resonated with and really wanted. So as I move towards creating a life I really want, perhaps when I express my opinions and perspective, it will be more true to who I am. Holistic, maybe a bit of the biting truth, yet still truth honestly clothed in grace and offered by way of love and empowerment. I would respect that.

@kylebrown3770 3 года назад

I always think about the ni-ti loop in the context of practicing versus playing, or rehearing versus performing. We often find ourselves on stage and not focused on adapting and living spontaneously in the moment - which is the only perspective from which we we can create our real “art”, which is our version of what it means to live out our values. The time to think and reflect and ask the “objective” questions is when we truly “feel” a sense of calm and we are away from others. Wenzes often talks about the importance of meditation and I agree with this. The best time to dive into your own brain is only when you’ve sufficiently cleared away all of the clutter from the day. The thing that trips us up is thinking I need to continually recalibrate, ie I need to make sure every action I take is an expression approximating perfection - see how this is akin to practice time? Know where you are and commit to playing or rehearsing. If you’re on the stage of life, just play and adapt. You can review later when the time is right!

@DearYoungerSelf111 3 года назад

I am in a job that is detail-oriented & detail dominant. It is difficult a lot of days because how I show up and quite frankly draining - (I show up as a person who hates the details & makes many mistakes) I'm always getting feedback of "not good enough" - "I am a painter in an accounting world" I appreciate the awareness around this Wenzes - I am committed to building a world where "painters" are welcomed and valued -

@cominginthecloudsforus 3 года назад

What if you're so damaged that you don't find anything great about yourself? You realize that your whole life has been filled with doing what other people say is great about you (in order try to silence all the things you don't think are great about you). You have no idea who you are. You're just going through the motions everyday.

@lindateuling7862 3 года назад

It's interesting that you mention art. I was drawing a picture as I listened to this, amd I thought about my own experience in an artistic family that practically worshipped the Dutch Masters. By contrast, I'm doing a combination realistic/abstract- which for me, is VERY satisfying and fun to do. I'd be hard put to know if FE plated a part in this - but it's fun to think about. I do know that today, doing the sketch and listening to you helped me get out of a big time Ni/TI loop.

@MrGadfly772 7 месяцев назад

I am 64 and the last few years I've decided to be myself. Smalltalk conversation is a thing of the past. Sadly nobody wants to talk about deep things. I have become repeatedly rejected. "To know me is to loathe me" seems to be my new motto. It's very lonely now.

@amasmit2 3 года назад

I love this! I think you’re so right; a big reason why I don’t really know how to act in situations without someone to bounce off of is because I’ve never taken the time to figure out who I am and what I actually like. I’m definitely trying to form more concrete opinions based on my own feelings rather than picking up bits and pieces from those around me. It’s been hard especially since the people around me, who are used to me doormatting, are noticing some more push back against behaviours and opinions I would have previously let slide, but it feels good to stand up for myself and express my emotions more. This video has definitely helped me understand what’s been happening and spurred me on to keep curating the world around me. Thank you so much! :)

@TroyPosey 3 года назад

Hey Wenzes! Hope the 3 of yall are all doing well. 👍🏼 I no longer do this anymore...At all. I am who I am, and if someone doesn't like that, I can either go away, or they can. Life's too short to put up with bullshit. I'm leveling up to who I REALLY am... A very rare personality combination... The INFJ Sigma-Alpha. Always have been one, just never wanted to be myself, and always wanted acceptance (which, growing up, isn't that natural for humans to want?). We just didn't realize that it's not necessity, especially when it becomes toxic to ourselves. Now I no longer seek it. I seek to be myself, and only my true self. And if people can't accept me for who I am, then they're obviously not meant to join me on my journey. It might hurt to leave good friends and long-time acquaintances behind, but some ties have to be cut for us to progress. Some ties bind, and hold you down...Others form a rope to pull yourself forward. It's up to you to figure out which is which in your life. 👍🏼

@Wenzes 3 года назад

👏👏👏

@trevorvaz7109 3 года назад

Amazing how you talked about growing that 1% of people who relate to you!

@ocho8172 Год назад

Excellent "Where the rubber meets the road" articulation. Thank you, Wenzes! Be well!

@hpfanmileyrocks 3 года назад

OMG, I have been miserable all year just because of this! My welcome into my new family (I got married) has been entirely wrong. Everyone expects me to be following my Ni-Ti loop, whereas my Fe is flaring up in an unstable fashion.

@dorotaem6621 3 года назад

I like revisiting the "classics," as you called them in the last video!

@Wenzes 3 года назад

😉👍

@ZeddicusAWR 11 месяцев назад

It’s so interesting, I love the idea of integrating a sense of self into a group mentality. Though, I also can see it causing a sense of insecurity that the self-interest, or self-expression might be rejected by the group mentality as a whole. I’ve experienced this myself, as I do enjoy expressing my personal interests and hobbies, though that is significantly muted depending on the company I’m keeping… I’ve heard a lot about INFJ being chameleon like, and that is definitely me. I can suppress all my self, and portray a sense of self unlike my native self, if the social situation requires it. And it comes completely naturally, and always has. Though it also has left me feeling like a phony, or even a bit off my rocker because it can be so situationally jarring. I tend to do it, & forget it. Unless I embarrass myself in someway, then I fall prey to the mental loop of figuring out how to try and make certain the thing I did that embarrassed me, never happens again…

@mygreatescape Год назад

I have never heard someone describe this so clearly! I am so impressed and grateful for this video! I have tried to explain this to my aunt but didn't know how to put it into words but you gave it words! Love it!

@littleoldturbulentinfj 2 года назад

once i realized my personality, and i had to take it twice within two years to make sure the results remained the same. The year was one of great changes. I realized that dozens of therapists, psychologists and shrinks couldn't explain my mind better than the results on those tests. I finally think i know who I am, and I was just trying to fix what I naturally was before. It was no disease or mental illness, it was just who i am.. so cool to find videos that just read my mind and speak my language. . Until now i truly thought something was wrong with me. Thankful i found your channel, and you like shallon Lester as well. That can't be a coincidence, cuz no other youtube has admitted to her knowledge. Thank you for helping me become the better version i want for myself. :* Fellow INFJ-T

@CelebrationLuv 2 года назад

I feel so crazy sometimes. Thank you for these videos 😭

@leoralphvillamayor 3 года назад

Thank you for bringing the best out of me.

@jessenceq3250 3 года назад

The environment being reflected back to me to understand myself even more deeply is very fascinating.

@juli-321 7 месяцев назад

Thank you so much this video changed my future. I'll be forever grateful for your thoughts, research and advice.

@mizztinkabell4eva 3 года назад

Thank you so much for this! Literally bawled my eyes out in the last 2 minutes. I don't know if others have felt this as well but for so long I just allowed myself to accept whatever everyone said about me. To the point where I had no idea who I was unless someone talked about themselves and I related/didn't relate or someone had to actively remind me of my qualities. Working on this now!

@leilanoorani2976 3 месяца назад

So well said! So accurate, helpful…thank you!!

@mygreatescape Год назад

The explination starting at min 3:48 !!!! YES!

@aryanbatra1421 3 года назад

I m Inspired By Your Passion... U Helped Me Understand Myself. Thank You.

@susandoerr3896 3 года назад

Thank you for taking charge. Wish my parents knew this fact about me. Take care.

@karibu333 3 года назад

I just got grounded. Spot on and thank you very much 🙏💛👀

@user-vb1ew8un4h 2 года назад

Thank you. I had tough time for a while about expressing myself. This video is really helpful to me. Thanks for your insight ❤ - a guy from 🇰🇷

@bobevans5282 3 года назад

Thank you so much for giving answers that I am looking for 👍👍👍

@realizationstation2173 Год назад

Thank you, beloved Soul!

@Raquel_98 3 года назад

But i don't know what I want or what my gifts are... I feel like I'm lost in life.

@Wenzes 3 года назад

Try improving your life circumstances in the smallest ways. With every little step you will have more clarity

@Raquel_98 3 года назад

@@Wenzes I'll try to do it 😥. I'm reading self-help books on self-applied cognitive therapy tools and I'm going to try to create habits of gratitude, meditation, exercise, etc. (sorry, I'm not very good at English) Thank you very much Wenzes💚

@Wenzes 3 года назад

@@Raquel_98 those are great steps!!! Keep at it, you got this!!!

@hackidreemurr 3 года назад

I love your videos!! 👍 They're so much different than other MBTI videos I watched

@jodypocoroba5684 9 месяцев назад

My pet peeve is quickly becoming this kind of junk trying to analyze me and then trying to tell me what I feel , am, and what I should do

@DaDsJacksonsDad 3 года назад

I love your videos on this topic. 👍

@japanesereadingandwriting 2 года назад

Excellent lecture.

@ashkangreenqz8131 2 года назад

I like that ... Thank u so much😊🙏🏻

@madhvishukla4332 2 года назад

Thank you ma'am this is video is very helpful

@ravishingtwinkle3811 3 года назад

So helpful ❤️ May God bless you

@Angel-gb9gi 11 месяцев назад

When I get home from work I reflect through my day looking for somewhere I might of messed up. I think too much about my work people. I really want to go to work and s soon as I step in my house forget them all till I have to see them again. I want to think on me and my life I am so tired of thinking about work even on my days off. Help how do I stop it?