INTJ's Relationship with Extroverted Thinking (Te) 

Thank you so much for this video. I am an INTJ female and now i understand why i would never stroke someones back and say 'there there', i just cant do it. For a long time i was afraid that ment i didn't show others how much I cared about them. And as a woman not being able to comfort people emotionally people just assume you don't care. But thanks to your video i know it is true, i do show people i care about them a lot by searching for hours on the internet for the best conditioner for my moms hairtype because hers was empty and she mentioned she didn't like her conditioner. Or spending hours finding a natural cure for a family members health condition because she didn't want traditional medicine. Or ordering a perfume from other countrys because a friend couldn't find it in our country anymore. I always want to fix the problems of people because for me stroking someones back and saying how sorry you are for them is not going to change anything about the situation at all. If someone has pain I look for a solution immediately. Now I start to understand myself better. A big thank you for this, realising this is a big relieve. Sorry for my English mistakes, I am Dutch.

“I’d rather buy you a new house than to deal with you emotionally” 😂😂😂😂😂 omg so true!!

Great job explaining all that. I've never understood why Fe's response of comforting a distressed person is so glorified. Any comfort received will just be negated by the next interaction with the cause. If Te fixes the cause of the distress, then the distress will not happen again, and everyone can return to the contented baseline.

I always love it when you talk about Mama Te, and I love it when "Mama Te is at home". The synergy between Ni and Te when they're at their best and the feeling of accomplishment it produces are beyond words. I live for those moments 😄

I definitely see how INTJ's love & care & show up for their people & I'm here for it. ❤

Omggggg The 48 Laws of Power is A MUST for every INTJ! I've got almost all of Robert Greene books (huge fan girl here) 😬

Thank you for your great work on spreading information - Fellow Intj

Absolutely love the break down and could not agree more. I absolutely credit mama-Te for helping me to seem normal in my worst of times, because she won't let me be completely unproductive. If there is a list of minimal tasks you can still complete, even in my worst loops, like a strict but fair parent she'll be that driving force to say, "Complete X,Y, and Z. Then you can take all the time you want to focus on you." True to what you mentioned in the video, I remember as a younger INTJ, I was always confused when people would have an unintended emotional reaction to an action I took to address an issue, because from that Te standpoint I was literally like, "I fixed your problem, I did it efficiently, and I also put safety controls in place to help prevent it from catching you off guard again... why are you upset?" But once, like you mentioned, I started understanding that emotions are sometimes more of the focus around an issue than the actual issue itself, it's like it took my Te into Super Saiyan levels of being able to show I care for the people I care about. As usual, I have a gaming example which is fairly recent, but I'll start off with an IRL one first cause it was the moment I really learned to harness the power of Te appropriately. I remember my girlfriend was upset about an issue she was having and this was already after a rough patch we were going through so I was already on "egg shell" mode. I can't remember how it donned on me, but as she was talking through the issue and got to a stopping point for a response, it just suddenly came to me to ask her straight up, "Do you want help finding a solution, or do you just want to vent a bit? Because I'm here for you either way, I just want to make sure I provide you with what you feel you need." And as if all the tension of the past few days had disappeared, she just said, "Honestly, I'm not sure right now, but I think I just need to have someone listen." After letting her vent for awhile, being an ENTJ, she came around to saying, "So I have a couple of ideas how I want to handle this, and I would like your input on what the best path is." And because I had taken the proper time to listen, I was able to give her a solid list of pros and cons for both options, some she hadn't considered yet and we both left that conversation feeling closer instead of frustrated. As for the gaming example, I noticed one of my raid mates having trouble deciphering their responsibility for a mechanic because it can change based on how it winds up. After they'd been struggling for a couple nights and I even noticed they were going back into the fight on their own to practice more, the next night we all got together, Te kicked in and I just "naturally" started making an extra call out specifically for them so they wouldn't get lost. Admittedly there was a part of me that was worried they might have felt I was calling them out, but sure enough, as the night went on they started recognizing their queues on their own and I started pulling back on the extra call out. At the end of the night they even said, "That extra call out really helped. I think if we do that another night or so, I should have it down." And it just served to really highlight what you mentioned in the video. When you're part of the "clan" mama-Te will recognize that and she won't let a clan mate just struggle in silence if she sees them putting in effort, and she definitely won't let an INTJ just sit on the sideline watching if they have the ability to lighten that load.

You have the most understandable explanations of the cognitive functions and how they work together. 👍 Yea I think I do sometimes get why people want hugs and pats on the back may be somewhat helpful but honestly I prefer finding solutions to problems. My issue is finding solutions to all problems gets exhausting at times and I've learned over the years to pick my battles.

I like how accurate the few pictures in this video explain what you try to communicate

So Jon, I have watched several of your videos now and I appreciate each one. You really know your stuff and your passion is obvious, qualities which I sincerely enjoy. I would like to offer a bit of advice or constructive criticism if I may, and please don't take it as judgement in any way but rather as an observation or level of experience that I feel I may have come to understand as a "golden oldie" over 50. 🙂 As an INTJ I fully realize how fast our minds typically work and it often shows in how fast we talk when expressing our thoughts and ideas. Lord knows that is how I was in my younger years when talking about things I was passionate about. But I came to realize over time that many, if not most people had some difficulty keeping up with my pace and would tend to lose interest by not quite being able to keep up with what I was expressing. I have learned the art and benefits of the dramatic pause and occasional repeat for emphasis which seem to help others to remain better engaged in our conversations. Don't get me wrong dear Jon, I think you are absolutely amazing! I truly enjoy your presentations and am learning from your insights. I quite simply just found myself needing to replay several sections however to better absorb some of the concepts I was less familiar with. So I just thought I would offer a bit of advice for you to consider to maybe take a breath now and then my dear passionate friend. Keep up the great work!

Can't describe how helpful this video is and I am glad you have made it. So well said and put all together. Oh, your words did a major role in helping me to understand me. I am less dumb (a bit only), thank you!

Extroverted thinking needs to accomplish a task.this is absolutely true.

Excellent content as I've become accustomed to seeing from your channel! So much of the content resonates with me. I have created/improved/replaced systems during my career, climbed company ladders very quickly and yet my patience, especially for people who are putting forth effort and energy, has increased. Pro tip for INTJ's (this is going to be a "captain obvious moment")....I will give credit to "Ellie" who gave me this feedback...Bob, you never smile. why don't you smile? We have a RBF, resting bitch face, and I'm so task oriented and this was early in my career as a production supervisor. I was intent and focused on getting the shift and crew started and my early routine involved visiting every person on shift and ensuring they had the information and resources needed for the day. No smiles during that task...that is until Ellie gave me the feedback. So I learned to say "hello, and how are you". Strange as that may seem, it made a difference for me.

If my wife watches this, it just might save my marriage.Excellent understanding and presentation.

I got to cry of this video 😭 Jon this a long story but it's really interesting; Since I knew mbti, for many years, I couldn't understand what is "Te", and I hated so so much that it's all about "Efficiency" Title, Status ecc. And i got to know my best friend whom he's Intj, we was discussing, and he told me, I understand ur point but there's a "Facts", u've to settle down with them, then I told him there's no actual truth, everyone sees the world from his perspective, he told "yes, but the world has his system".... In that time, I wasn't convinced, and I had a "opened writing argument" hw, i decided to talk about the "absolute truth", and while I'm scratching to make my points clear, I reached the meaning of the "Te" finally, while we all see that for ex. This tree rather is blue, green or yellow, but the existence of the tree is a "fact", and her true colour is also a "fact" and so on the list goes on, it was very insightful and mind blowing when I finally reached to this point.

Insightful information on this INTJ type with Te! I encountered your channel through the RU-vid algorithm by chance. Thanks for sharing! 🔥🔥🔥

Unique and practical tips thanks. Especially mama Te achieving and showing caring action yet dismissive of emotional connection. Breaking the NiFi anxiety loop of excuses for inaction and indecision suffers similarly I feel as does Fe social connection. Externalising Te and Se initiatives to contain Ni productively away from indulging fear, self sabotage and self criticism is key I find.

The Te of you INTJs really does act in a similar way to the Fe of us INFJs. I love how you guys give us INFJs your Te advice and I know it is to help us become aware of some stuff, then we could give you our Fe advice in the same manner. We both also love giving our help to others, but allot of times, it is not returned, but in the case of our 2 types, we will always help each other out, even if not always immediately afterward.

So this is why I send person-specific memes to people.

I was in a funk all day ...your video was so uplifting ❤❤thank you Jon!! #Te

I have a friend that I am quite sure is an ENTJ. This person doesn't know as much about mbti and cognitive functions, and taking the letters on their face, she felt that she should be an ENFJ because she loves the people in her life and has feelings for them and is a caretaker. I didn't want to overly-explain why I thought she was actually an ENTJ; some people are not as into mbti and I don't feel a need to be corrective. ENTJs are among the most caring types I have in my life. Thank you for talking about how Te can be very caring. It's true.

ISTP's have Need for Speed. We have Need for Achieve.

Dude, I love your videos. You nail things so spot on in ways I have yet to hear another INTJ youtuber nail. I'm commenting right now however, because I have to send you INTJ love for having Robert Greene's Laws of Power in the background. And Batman.

Perfectly summed up, as always ! I love this function. You right : Unstoppable ! Always pleasing and satisfying to see ourselves in others. No matter what I do, for me it's never enough, never perfect (Ni), I want to do more, accomplish more, want to do so much things. (I have more than 130 video scripts started about MBTI on my computer) 🤣😢 We need both Fe and Te (we need all functions in the world). When something happens to someone (S), he need to express how he feel, to be understood, validated and reassured, that it's normal to feel like this (Fe). We need to put on the outside the feelings we have inside to healing. And we also need the problem (N) to be solved (Te) at the root, in order to not cause pain later. What is fun, I am INTJ, and I think the world lack of communication, compassion, emotions, empathy, listening. It breaks my heart when I see an INTJ trying to socialize or express his feelings, and the other person doesn't answer, or is not receptive, doesn't listen or doesn't care, reject him.

I find it strange how Te is seen as robotic, when Ti is the one where there is a one way to go, in that specific order and with these specific toolsets. Te is flexible, but high Te users are so accustomed to switching from this to that, that it may look like auto pilot? Great video as always! I am curious if you have a plan to talk about demon Si. Enough INTJ videos about Te, Ni, blind spot Fe, but strangely barren on something that can kill our being.

good video as always! its crazy how being 1 out of 16 personalities can narrow me down so much that u can have this whole video perfectly describe me without knowing me.

Thanks to your video, I finally understand what Te is and how it works. As an INFJ I've curious about the functions I'm not good at and wish to improve them, yet many videos just couldn't explain it specific enough and in depth. Great appreciation to your work! And I have to say you have an INTJ speed in speaking lol

I’ve felt this thinking with my INTJ friend, but you made it into more easily understood words. The way I thought of it was this. My INTJ friend had emotions but those emotions are thinking emotions. My emotions are just that, emotions emotions. But hers, thinking emotions. It’s like my emotions are a roaring river but her thinking emotions are like a pressure washer, water under pressure which can cut. I don’t feel like I’ve explained it well enough, ah well, you did it best ☺️ Thank you for these videos! I am having a blast learning more about INTJs!! Tactical emotional thinking. It’s so cool 😊 You deserve much more subscribers!!

9:38 Well, totally relatable again! 10:36; the realisation it’s Te all along. 11:36 this is mind blowing. I am so glad I found your channel, Jon. Always providing great insights.

Great Vid as always 🎉

This video made me want to get things done haha! I think them having Te tool means that people might not always appreciate their help in a Te way, people might want emotional comfort instead so there’s where Fe polr comes in and can lead to relationship problems.

I know where the pencil is, too. The 3rd stack of papers and books from the left on the coffee table. Approximately 5 centimetres deep under the Pride and Prejudice book. Sincerely an ENFP 😂

10:00 Slow down, Satan. I was with you until that moment lol

Now I see why my husband and others say to me 'not just the pretty face'. Sometimes I find that line a bit patronising. Makes me feel uncomfortable. I never knew how to react when people say that to me, I just ignore them and continue the thing I was doing or saying (or suggesting)

Te's underrated, as an Enfp it can literally be the force helping me to perk back up again when i'm in the jiving sad music mood i can put on a spotify song and imagine shit before no longer than a second after the scheduled time for that head space i'm back towards using the function unhealthily watching all my youtube notifications to feel like i'm accomplishing something ✨it can also be the force that makes me feel weird toward rewatching movies and stuff because i feel like it's a waste of time, because like with the music thing i can just feel like it's done and over with and there's no point in feeling that way anymore

Going to watch it now. I work in commercial real estate but when the spreadsheets get too big - I get headache and lose it from the ENTJ. That's my real life example of INTJ Te limitations. :X

@9:20 For the longest time I mistook mama Te caring nature for Fe which causing me confusion. But I am very sure that when I do these things I always have reason why I do it not just because I feel like doing it. Also because I'm not comfortable showing emotions to other people. So the best way to show I care is through actions. For me it's less sentimental than expressng it verbally or giving someone hug.

Your orange lighting with black tshirt looks fab, because of that, your video is looking super cool🤩🤩🤩 Well you didnt mention that Te also helps you to understand people's thinking and thought processes instantaneously Like i have generally seen my INTJ and ISTJ friends just understand what I am saying and they just very well understand the thought processes, other types also understand the thought process but specially INTJ and ISTJ understand the thought process very naturally and smoothly I dont know if it is common with other ISTJs or not but my ISTJ friend many a times just makes me stop talking then he just tell what I was going to say, like many a times he understand the whole paragraph which i was going to say just by hearing the first one line of it 😧😧 Both of your personalities are amazing INTJs and ISTJs 🤩🤩🤩 You guys are gems, specially you INTJs are like Severus Snape of harry potter, you guys will literally make your loved ones the goal of your life, you people can die for your loved ones Usually other types ignore you and misunderstand you as bad and uncaring, but when other types realise that you INTJs are very caring just the way of your caring is different, then other types respect you like hell🤞🏾🤞🏾🤞🏾 Well not all types and people can understand your care because of your low-Fe but dont worry, only some people can identify real gems and only some people can understand and value real gems like you guys ✌️✌️

Pretty good

Te is why I couldn't go to bed ubtil I finished all the tasks and chores I set up to do depsite being sleep deprived sleeping like 3-5 hours a day for a few months trying to fulfill the responsibilities of several positions due to short staffed problem and Covid.😅😅

Wow, as a non Te user, I feel like I’m missing out 😭🤣

Truth

So accurate 😆

Me, glaring at my inferior function after watching this video:- Grow up and don't behave like a baby! My Te:- 🥱 saying something? Ok so I watched this one twice to get the grasp of the mature version of Te (your advice plus i think i see its need too)- I mean I know Te won't manifest in me like it does in INTJs but it's combination with Ne will make my Ne dreams come true, beside many other things.... 4:07 this sentence truly would have gone over my head... my Ne "wants" to accomplish task, but never "needs" to- i think it must be similar to how my Fi "needs" to pacify conflicts- it does not "want" to empathize.. it needs to "empathize".. 6:06 First, it did sound harsh.... but then i imagined how an irresponsible adult might be like and then- ok fair enough... 6:51 .... it ...will indeed be comforting... 9:45 No wonder that caring side of high Te users is so adorable 10:50 tbh unless the person is being a d*** i don't think too much emotion overflow is required- to a Fi dom (i think) being there for them is enough you don't have to pat our back and say "there there".. i think borrowing your shoulder and ear is enough... At last yes... your advice will help other intjs very well- keep coming with such good content!! It was nice to hear ya (like always) !!!

As an INFP, Te is not natural to me. But when it does comes out, I both enjoy it an hate it. Firstly, it's very difficult to show care for others through Fi, I know what I fell, but how do I express it it's a problem. So after offering emotional support like any feeler would, my Te starts to act and it's wonderful. But not everyone is ready for Te, which is a shame. Like, guys, I'm not trying to be bossy, inconsiderate, or saying that I know better than you, I just want to help, which is taking a lot of energy and effort since it's not something I do intuitively! I come across as arrogant, and later I get into a beautiful Fi-Si crisis, being angry at myself for making others upset.

I know it’s a big favor, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. But can you give a shout out to my friend Bailey? She’s an INTJ. I’m an INFP, I recently introduced her to your videos and she really appreciates them. Anyway , it would mean the world to me and I think it would make her happy to see how hard I’m trying for our friendship ☺️

I am going past my bedtime for this video it better be worth it. (This comment sounds so toxic)

Just imagine the life of an INTJ who has ADHD

Present

Ni-Te is productive? Then, why do I not feel productive? Clarification, I guess I am, but I also think the type of productive activities that matter to most people don't matter as much to me.

but also makes you depressed when your body is holding you back from archiving what you wanted. and yeah, I have done to much for people. Can make you depressed too if they aren´t nice to you.

This may explain why i need to get something done very day.. but isnt that some sort of general human need? And one more thing: do you think that cognitive function are the most efficient ways of explaining human thinking and behavior? After four years I still kinda can't wrap my head around it. There has got to be something more straight forward. Anyways, I'll look into your Lovestory video now xD

If Te is your mama parent what gender do you like for your Critical Parent Ti?

The rest of the story is way more amazing; When I was discussing with my intj friend, I would just say somethings of mine, of my insecurities, and I just thought he would listen for me as everyone and it ends like, and actually when someone listens me it's enough for me... But, I found that he was really really caring, he opened wide the discussion, and got to ask me more and more "why, how" and his questions was really so deep and brilliant, and he nodded that I've to answer with either "yes" or "no" without any other word, so it would be clear for him, u know this neutral answers 😅I was answering... And I just felt him analysing, and he would disappear for hours maybe days, analysing my problem, so he read all the chat again and again... Then he came to me after all this processing with "Te" He conclude with his powerful "Ni" to connect all these, and then he told me U R 1, 2, 3 Bec. U say this, and do that.... 😭😭 He was so right in every word... And when discuss and he asks me a question and I can't answer, he is so smart and patient to divide the question to more smaller question so I know my answer 😭😭😭😭 And this is how the "Te" way of love which for me is more more precious than Fe That I don't like it and don't go along with it, Bec. I myself a Fe user so it's extremely not useful... I just discovered that I need a "Te" person in my life after so long.... Another thing, that I saw how my friend is so productive and successful, which inspired me soooooo much, everyday I look at him and dream to be like him... His working make him strong, make him confident, make him fear nothing as he works all the time for being prepared He's a genius 😭😭😭😭 I love how u r guys💕 By the way I'm "Infj"

So what happens when you have no Te? 😂 my husband is an ISTP And the difference between him and me is abysmal. He will do things when he feels like it.. or if they are absolutely crippling his life. 😅

I think that the stereotypes of Te being cold and ruthless and Fe being fake both come from an unhealthy societal structure, where most of our interactions are with people we don't really know and have shallow relationships with. Te users, not having Fi valuation of these people (not to their fault, they just don't know them or have a meaningful connection with them), naturally tend to treat them as utilities and means to the Te users own ends (although not necessarily in ways that are harmful to these utilities). Likewise, the Fe user is constantly facing the overwhelming demand of disconnection between its user and the people they're surrounded with. The Fe user is naturally trying to bridge these gaps in ways that come off as shallow and fake, because they're constantly interacting in shallow relationships. In another world, our ancestors were all hunter gatherers living in tribes of 100-200 people that had life-longish relationships with each other. Te was naturally understood to be used on behalf of everyone as an act of love, and Fe was able to act with more sustainable depth in the context of these relationships.

what is your Enneagram instinct Jon? SP SX or SO?

Finished the book?

Jon, this is not about the video. I wasn't sure where else to post it. Please tell me if INTJs show their emotions in writing? We both know you have emotions, just don't show them. I get that. I have been reading poetry of an INTJ and it is so profound and emotional and beautiful and sad. It's not what I expected from an INTJ. I don't mean it's bad at all. I am left with ....

I believe you confuse Libertarians with Anarchists. From my understanding, libertarians want enough structure for peace and true freedom but not so much that it has rules that only apply for some of the population. I think careful libertarianism is actually somewhat appealing as an INTJ 3:46

I don't even know what comforting people emotionally means, usually when they start to vent with me (and they do quite often) I listen carefully, I asses the situation and I come up with an cation plan. One day a friend of mine told me, I don't need to be told what to do, I just need to speak about it...fab I just wasted a lot of cognitive labour and time for nothing. Yes we do care, but I can't dwell on endless emotional swings on end, we need to come up with a solution or at least acknowledging the root cause of the so.called issue. Plus do not make me started with group projects...it's painful when you have already mapped out an entire strategy and the rest can't even get started, wasting time on trivial things, not getting the point across, leading to falling behind schedule and POSSIBLY ending up with a crappy output. I'm on an entire PG course based 100% on group projects, people can't stand me..which is painful after a while because I'm there to learn, improve my skills and within the groups I like planning, getting things laid out and optimise the pace in a systematic way ...whereas they hxxt me ... imagine how stressed I am with all those groups, adults who wanted be treated like children, reading through the blurred lines of human emotions, so forth and so on. Needless to say I would have done a better job by taking self-paced, 100% online courses...never anymore.

I always tell people if you want to know if an INTJ likes you (romantically or in general) you'll know they do if they've ever gone out of their way to help you with a problem (no matter how large or small). If the answer is no, they'd have better luck playing the lottery.

I'm currently going through another pang of depression while recovering from sickness. I have been waiting for Mama Te to come back and help me get up on my feet again, at least to help recalibrate my emotions through practical measures, and then back to forward momentum when I ultimately feel better again 🥲