Jordan Peterson: How To Fight Social Anxiety AND WIN! (Must Watch) 

me on my wedding day : 'you guys go, im staying home.

what we avoid becomes much more difficult to deal with

When he said "when you're up at 4am thinking about your miserable life.." I felt that ..

I used to get drunk before parties and it would help but then i became an alcoholic.

“Man I’m sweating too much.” So relatable lol

I'm still thinking about white elephant.

I’m 63. Wish I’d heard this decades ago

This guy is spot on about ever topic I’ve ever heard him talk about

I dont even get invited to the party lmao

1. Don't stop thinking of yourself because you can't, look at other people to know what they think. Pay attention! 2. You can't talk to group of people, you always talk to one person. That's easy. 3. Look what's not going right, use the information, work on your mistakes. 4. Identify what you fear. Compose it to small problems. Expose yourself to the thing you're afraid of. Itsevarmuus tulee kokemuksesta.

After I developed anxiety everything changed; it really sucks because before that I was such a confident guy. Absolutely no problems talking in front of a large crowd, no nervousness, act as if I owned the stage. But after anxiety came even walking down the street sometimes makes my knees shake. I feel like it's just not who I am, it really sucks.

I have more of a problem with running out of things to say or bore the person out. being around people isn't really hard, but rather engaging in a conversation. I could say I'm ok with silence and just being around people is fine enough, but I fear that I make the other person way too uncomfortable and thus I feel pressured to come up with a topic...

1:34 is the best advice. Look people into the eyes, always. Even when you talk to somebody you like a lot or fear a lot: look at them. 3:57 Always assume people know something you do not know. Which is always the case because nobodies life is equal, thus we all have different experiences.

Interesting. That explains it!! I took a speech class in college and noticed myself looking at people’s eyes comfortably but when I looked at the wall behind the class, I felt less comfortable. And past few years, I’ve noticed speakers spending a lot of time looking at me. Focus & moving forward.... the cure for anxiety. It worked for me!

As a child I would look my father in the eye and he would yell "you wanna stare me down," and slap me or throw something or break something. 18 years of stuff like that and I could barely function, hold a job, drugs, etc. 30 now still riddled with anxiety and severe problems with self image. These lectures have helped me tremendously.

*Working* *At* *McDonald's* Me: "Welcome to McDonald's how may I take your order?" Customer: "Yeah what's good?" Me: "Pretty good man just chillin, what's good with you?" Customer: "No, like what's good to order?" Me: *dies inside*

Jordan Peterson is like the father I never had, except I did have a father.

From my experience and what’s others have said. Social anxiety stems from caring what people think and or feeling like you have an image to uphold. You’re afraid if you behave in a way that gets your needs met, people will dislike you and maybe confront you and you don’t know how to handle confrontations also. You’re afraid what those people are thinking about you and it’s as if they can tell how you feel so you try to “act” calm which worsens the symptoms.

i feel like people bounce from Anxiety to Depression, mostly running away from Anxiety by being depressed. If that makes sense..

"... like bad chords in the melody of our conversation..." wadda great line!!!

My favorite lines: "It's not about becoming less afraid but more courageous." "There isn't a specific reason why you should just feel good about yourself... Observe courage in yourself."

Hey, liked this video a lot. Just thought I'd share the most useful thing I ever learnt for un-stifling yourself and managing anxiety levels to the point where they basically don't exist. Almost all the social anxiety you experience is because of one thing, worrying about how other people's judgements might affect your chances of surviving or reproducing. All you have to do is act in a way that forces people to notice you, so make solid eye contact like Jordan says, get your voice out there, force yourself to speak to people even if you just ask for directions/the time, if you see an old lady at a crossing go over and help her cross. Within about 20 minutes of taking lots of action that forces multiple people to judge you, part of your brain realises that your safe when you express yourself, anxiety levels drop, the flood gates open and everything is way more fun.

Take comfort in knowing you are not alone. There are many others who go through social anxiety and struggle almost on a daily basis.

I was once a pretty popular, very confidant guy, very social and had like 4 different groups of friends. Some time in my mid 30’s (I’m 50 now) for some odd reason I became less sociable to the point of pushing people away and actually “burning bridges”purposely. Anxiety grabbed ahold of me in my early 40’s (to this present day). Now I have exactly 2 friends (by choice, and they live a couple of thousands miles away from me) and I stay inside, alone, until I need to go to buy food to keep existing. When I am in public (ANYWHERE) I begin to literally sweat when making small talk or engaging in conversation. I’ve dealt with major depression since my early 20’s and that has also gotten to such a point where I’m past being sad, mad, confused…I’m just honestly numb. I self medicated THC for way too many years (it made these problems multiply I believe) and have recently quit. I’m very comfortable being alone but I don’t like that I’m comfortable being alone. I’m physically fit, have been told I am handsome and I’m intelligent enough but none of that helps AT ALL. Thanks for reading.

having enough strength to continue living is winning in my opinion..

I love how he really wants to help these kids

Everytime when i try to answer questions in class Teacher: 3:42

Awesome tip. Another reason why people become anxious is because they're not in the moment. It's impossible to be in the present moment and anxious at the same time since anxiety happens due to internal dialogue. It can also happen from outside stimulus, for example if you're in danger, but those are rare circumstances.

This man is literally a human kind masterpiece.

"He told me he woke with fear in the morning, and went to bed with fear in the night... I asked him 'how can a man be brave if he's afraid'. 'That's the only time a man can be brave' he told me." ~Robb Stark

Anxiety is the shadow being asleep .....face the fear and be free. It will go away. .humans are able to adapt

I love this man, how can so many people hate him, they are extremely misinformed people, I hope, it's worse if they are informed and still dislike him

I can completely feel that "you get braver" part, I was not anxious before and I can feel why change occured, I am gonna face it now

So grateful for Jordan - ive had low confidence and anixety my life but am finally addressing it - good luck to everyone else on the same path

This right here. To speak more confidently in public 'never speak to the group, speak to a person, focus on the person'. It's absolutely helped me change my thinking and be more confident in public speaking.

thank you Jordan.....overcome anxiety by setting daily goals, making plans, and opening social conversations with everyone

"The coward believes he will live forever If he holds back in the battle, But in old age he shall have no peace Though spears have spared his limbs." Hávamál, Stanza 16

Sir, this lecture gave a ton of motivation to face my enemies and also deal with my social anxiety. Simply the best.

I shared this to a friend that suffers the same problem, I'm glad he found it helpful.

Very helpful. I'm trying this from now on. Been struggling with anxiety for years and was beginning to get really tired. Thank you for making this video.

I love how he goes a layer deep than most and incorporates ancient symbolism and archetypes in the collective unconscious. We are so lucky to be watching this for free, I almost feel like its free therapy.

This video is so important to me, I was in my final year of highschool. Throughout all of high school I had tried my hardest to fly below the radar, I hung out with my group of friends and didnt interact with anyone else, my reputation was that of someone who was unknown outside of my group of 10 or so friends and a few others. I was terrified of social interaction and I hated it. It was holding me back i felt miserable at the prospect of remaining in this bubble of safety my entire life. What Jordan says here in this video just really brought home to me what I had to do. It's such simple advice but for some reason it really spoke to me. Do what feels uncomfortable and you will improve and grow the rule applies with anything you are trying to learn but the way he explained it in a social setting made so much sense. My legacy at high school was already made up to be the quiet kid but the future held so much more. My mum had told me about a program where you worked in a school in England for a year with 2 other random people. I had always wanted to experience living in England it did interest me but the social part made me feel uncomfortable and just felt too far outside my comfort zone so initially I refused, after this video I ran into the kitchen and told my mum to sign me up. I've now been outside the comfort zone of Sydney my home town for 9 months. I am living in England I feel like a new person I still have a way to go with my social skillls but they along with my confidence have improved dramatically. So thank you Mr Peterson you changed my life with this tiny video. I will come back to Australia a changed man

We project our opinion of ourselves on to others and believe they must also have that opinion of us. When we see ourselves as decent human beings who deserve to be treated decently our nervousness and anxiety disappears.

Watching this two time in a Row,, making me feel Good about myself,, good daily reminder if you having anxiety

So true! My social anxiety is non existent. I faced my fear head on. But I still have to work on my explanations so other people can understand my point 😁

Social anxiety has basically guided my entire life. I see that if I hadn't it all my life would be completely different. I lost a lot of opportunities just trying to cope with it. But honestly, I'm tired of it. Comes what comes. I think the great problem with people who have social anxiety is just to show other people that they have it. This is maybe one of the mechanisms which made possible that this entire time they've been so. And for my part, I don't care anymore if people think that I have social anxiety or not. Just embrace it all.

Absolutely love JP’s insightful genius on reality and how to correct it ...

wow this is so valubale information for somebody who is just about to overcome anxiety :) Thank youu !!

It's like the Green Lantern thing from the movie. Hal Jordan wasn't fearless, he was just courageous enough to beat fear again and again.

This guy knows what he is talking about. You have a new subscriber! Thank you for sharing your story. I resonate so much with everything you were talking about. I look forward to seeing more of your videos!

Dear Jordan Peterson, I am so thankful for the work you do. Thank you!

This guy is very well-spoken and makes a lot of sense. A lot of what he says are things I already thought of, but he articulates it well.

It’s amazing how articulate jbp is, I’m sure while he talks his mind is several sentences ahead. Probably has to force himself to stay on topic which is an amazing feat when you’re mind is so colorfully analytical

I have to admit to you that am extremely alone because of social anxiety. I hope to apply this from now on. Thank you 🙏♥️

I can watch the same Jordan Peterson video every few months because there’s always something new that I pick up or didn’t see before

That last part really made since to me. What i took out of it. U can't just say you are you but show you have to the doubtful side of yourself.

I know Weedborn has solutions to most diseases.

I cant even go to the gas station when its busy or call anyone on the phone, let alone ever go to a party or introduce myself to a stranger.

My anxiety stemmed from being in malls. With that in mind, it wasn't me going to malls constantly that helped me eradicate my anxiety for them, but after watching this video, subconsciously by just being in large groups on my own like school, or at work eradicated my anxiety for malls as a whole; also deep and candid self-reflection. I'm not a mall person to this day, but I'm a lot more braver than unafraid as Jordan states when being in such a chaotic environment.

I fought it and WON! It took a lot of time.. it wasn’t overnight but I got rid of it. When I was anxious in school i started noticing my breathing pattern was not normal. I would walk tensed up holding my breath to the hallways and when I ever I got the bathroom to catch my breath I started feeling better. I started deep breathing exercises at home and at school and it’s been uphill for me! TRY IT GUYS!! Good luck on your journey.

This is actually really good advice for performers as well. Play to individuals instead of the collective and it’s better received

I was diagnosed with autism as an adult and occasionally get worried that I really just have a combination of other issues, including social anxiety. This video assured me I definitely do not have social anxiety. >look at people and you’ll know what they’re feeling No, I get opposite results to that, I get more confused >if you can’t do that, nobody trained you No, my family tried really hard . I just couldn’t learn how.

one of the things i need to grow in is the unexpected events or situations that happen that catch me off gaurd. For a social anxiety survivor like myself, I need to improve on just this one thing and add that with public speaking and then im good. So unknown calls, big crowds waiting to see me, a presentation, an out of nowhere meeting or interview with someone, females in general. I need to improve in this and find a sudden physiological and psychological state changer to get in war mode every time im asked, or something sudden comes up in life. IM READY

This is wonderful. A magnificent explaination of social anxiety and how to fight it. The most powerful and great point that he made, was that the people that suffer from social anxiety (as i do, so you can believe what i say) and try to learn how to fight it and control it, doens't get less afraid, but with more solf control and self awareness.

Thanks my dear for sharing this amazing videos

"What happens when you're socially anxious? You go to a party and you..." I'm going to have to stop you right there.

the knowledge about enemies is so true great talks

I'm in university right now ( first year) I always fear talking with people that's why I always avoided people but then I become depressed.. But now when I'm in university I strongly want to improve myself!!! Make lots of friends and enjoy learning & speaking with people. But somehow my low self esteem, self confidence becomes problem for me . I now have social anxiety. Even tho I know what I have to speak still I stammer, forgot words . My body shakes & my heart beat is so fast . My mind goes blank. But now I had enough of all these because of this social anxiety I have missed so many opportunities. I wanna talk confidently in public. Give my best 💗

I feel like I’ll forget this

He knows exactly where I’m coming from-and, I’m the one traveling through this world.

Top thing i took away from this is to focus on one person and engage with them. Forget the group. I like the advice. I really struggle in larger groups but do fine 1 on 1. Thanks Jordan

I’m Autistic, and therefore have difficulty with reading and processing people even if I do pay attention, but all this still applies and this advice still helped me

my social anxiety just kicked back in watching this video lol he did such a good job of describing every detail

Also like 5 years wasted in my life from suffering fake stupid anxiety problems. Wtf 😂😂😂

thank you Jordan Peterson.

I'm grateful for having found this magnificent Teacher and Storyteller, Jordan Peterson now, but I can only imagine how my life would've been today if I've received this advise in my shy, insecure and anxious teen years in the 80's...anyways, better now than never!

this guy wow ...... smart man thank youu

As someone with agoraphobia and severe social anxiety this is so spot on. ❤️

Thank you for this clip of Mr. Peterson.

I watch this video every little, and every time I learn something new.

I start a trade school Monday. I've never been to college..i have a GED. Im recovering from addiction and trying to start over. I've always been anxious and maybe i used drugs before to numb it. I'm tryin to relearn how to live and be successful. Prayers and good vibes are appreciated. God bless all yall 💚✌🏻

I think I might need behaviour therapy. My parents neglected me as a child, leaving me to my own devices where I just spun around in my own little world, unaware of an outside existence. My mother was constantly high, and my dad was never there for me as a child. Then when I was 11, my mother left and gave me abandonment issues where I developed symptoms of AVPD from social rejection.

This was so helpful. Im not even that much of a socially anxious person, but it still was very interesting. I will use those tips for sure! Love jordan❤️

I needed to hear this.

I considered myself as a wimp, then i heard the end of the video, when he talks about knowing the amount of courage there is inside you. I thought of myself over the last decade, and I realized that, dang, I did things that most of the common people would never dare try to do. It's hard to realize. I'm not a wimp.

I don't even go to the party 😓😓 coz of anxiety.

Many good and wise words were said, thank you so much!

Info I’ve been needing literally my whole life

EVERYONE has ignored me my entire life, so I just gave up trying. 4 years through university and I spoke to roughly 6 people - once. Deliberately picked classes which were solitary.

This man has been an absolute inspiration to me. Today I had an interview for a career that will end up being the last place I ever work and I was extremely nervous and unsure. I gave this video a look and I walked in with my head held high, my shoulders back and open to whatever may come. I will forever be thankful that God made this man.

This is pure genius, I never thought of it this way.

I just love this man!

I got to say. My first impression of Dr. Peterson was way off. Usually I find motivational speeches/speakers cliched and annoying, but JP definitely has a very compelling/inspiring way of addressing the existential angst so many of us experience. There’s enough genuine intellectual & emotional nuance to his words that even when he addresses something very unpleasant/uncomfortable, I feel the need to earnestly listen.

Great talk as always. I also think being self-conscious of your appearance may affect social anxiety. If someone you love says you have a long nose, bald head, big ears, big mouth etc one may be affected in social setting even though no one is perfect. Funny, perhaps the sufferer should think like that when in a social setting, making fun of others with love like Don Rickles. hahaha Hey you with the six pack yeh you Mr Spock! hahah

5:07 his knowledge and the ability to share it in simple terms. this man is a gift to the world.

I had crippling social phobia from puberty age of 11 and I was unable to talk or make eye contact with my classmates. I couldn’t eat in the cafeteria because I thought everyone was looking at me, but not in a I’m so great way, but rather what did I do wrong feeling. Then I decided to just leave for lunch in high school and it was closed campus, but I honestly couldn’t care less what the consequences were because anything was better than that about to have a panic attack feeling. Once I was given a 10mg Percocet. I immediately was able to start initiating conversations. I told myself this was how God wanted me to feel. I became a full blown opiate addict for the following 10 years.

I need to remind myself of this every day

I actually became depressed over social anxiety and then became more depressed because I thought about how stupid it was to be depressed over being socially inept. Many beers and life events later I found help through counseling, making RU-vid videos, and Jordan Peterson.

I needed to hear that. Thankyou.

this is what I realized too. so true. thanks JBP