Jordan Peterson ~ The Best Way To Show Someone You DO Care About What They Have To Say

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Jordan Peterson ~ The Best Way To Show Someone You DO Care About What They Have To Say
#JordanPeterson #JordanPetersonlecture #Psychology
Full lecture:
2014 Personality Lecture 10 Carl Rogers (Phenomenological Humanism)
• 2014 Personality Lectu...
Jordan Peterson Channel:
/ @jordanbpeterson
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Опубликовано:

9 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 2,7 тыс.

@rgpnovo 4 года назад

Someone has wiped the camera lens with LSD

@coffeymaker79 4 года назад

So it's not just me 😂

@Beth_tx79 4 года назад

😂😂😂

@e.h.1843 4 года назад

I thought I was drunk

@jwardbass4452 4 года назад

great comment

@rafaellucchesi6614 4 года назад

What a waste of LSD ...

@CryoLenix 3 года назад

"Help them make their argument as strong as possible, and then deal with that." The Goku of discussion.

@technic1285 2 года назад

(Peter)son Goku

@JohnDoe-og2bt 2 года назад

Its the only way because otherwise even if you win they go on thinking "I forgot to mention this or that and thats why i lost" or something along those lines

@unicorenteria4344 2 года назад

Perfect

@Insertein 2 года назад

(Lanipator impression, go) *SENZU BEAN!*

@saltykernel2169 2 года назад

Best comment

@xxjakethesnakexx7602 2 года назад

“The other person is entitled to their suffering. You don’t get to take it away, it’s their destiny.” The truest words have been spoken.

@mythfire1461 2 года назад

I didn't quite understand that, what does that mean? Why is it good to let someone keep their suffering?

@wizardsongs5409 2 года назад

@@mythfire1461 It's not really saying that it is good to let suffering continue or anything like that. It's that the suffering they face should not be invalidated but understood accurately from THEIR point of view. It's another way of presenting the idea of not judging someone if you haven't truly ''walked in their shoes'' so to speak. We all are struggling in life. The whole point of what we do is to try to live the life that gives us meaning despite the struggles we face. If you take away someone's struggle you are essentially denying their life it's meaning as well.

@delanmorstik7619 2 года назад

@@wizardsongs5409 What you said is half the meaning. The other part is quite literal: You cannot just fix someone's problem, because he is half addicted to that problem. You cannot give him the solution, you can just keep clarify the problem until its roots appears. And very often people even know it is that problem and they just do not wanna deal with it. They cannot let go of their problem, that is why it is a problem in the first place. So what you do is, you say: I hear you. You show to them you understand the problem. In fact, probably that is why they are arguing with you, they need you on their side. + Suffering, sadness or whatever emotion connected to problems is addictive just as any other emotion. If you just neglect it, take it away from someone they will just feel more miserable unless you gave them something to replace it.

@curtisjackson4090 2 года назад

Pretty deep... pretty scary when you really contemplate it.

@marissaojeda7517 Год назад

@@mythfire1461 Struggle triggers metamorphosis

@persephone8960 2 года назад

"You don't have to take on their problems. It's not necessarily bad that people have problems." - We often forget it's not our responsibility to fix people's problems.

@MR-ec7og 9 месяцев назад

Everyone you meet has something of value that can be taken from every encounter.

@mikep.541 4 года назад

Don’t try to win an argument. Try to use what the opponent is saying as information and knowledge. It’s not an argument if it’s a conversation.

@alwaysonyourtail2563 4 года назад

arguments are blind aggression. the argument could be that you doing to much for the other person in the relationship//. the guy cook, cleans, does things around town, and doing as much as he could think of to help his wife. the wife gets upset for feeling like she is worthless like she adds nothing to the relationship./wife side/ the guy argues back that he wants to maintain peace in his daily life and he does that by attending to her needs as he becomes aware of them.

@personl7949 4 года назад

Sheep.

@jaimhaas5170 4 года назад

So few understand how to talk without escalating into a fight now.

@alwaysonyourtail2563 4 года назад

@@jaimhaas5170 it has always be so. to believe that failure to communicate is a recent thing is laughable ignorant.

@jaimhaas5170 4 года назад

@@alwaysonyourtail2563 not what I said but sure I am ok with your statement.

@thesisypheanjournal1271 4 года назад

Don't you wish politicians had to do this in debates?

@tiraluvr941 4 года назад

Then it wouldn't be politics LOL

@galengraziano7127 4 года назад

In my political science class at BYU-I, it was required we do this in every debate. We had to "build the strongest case for the position you oppose." The cool thing is we often went from two debaters on opposite sides of the table to two teambuilders solving a problem together. The conflict almost always dissipated, and we enjoyed the discussion.

@planetary-rendez-vous 4 года назад

@@galengraziano7127 This is how humans should behave if they try to do argue.

@The_Idea_of_Dream_Vision 4 года назад

I doubt they will ever do that...

@arielle5037 4 года назад

Michael Pondo wow TDS here. So you say politicians are corrupt but go right into saying how bad trump is. How about you mention Nancy Pelosi, Adam schiff, Andrew Cuomo, that Whitmer lady, the DNC, Biden for his involvement with Ukraine sexual assault and the racist 1994 crime bill. There are also corrupt republicans but the obvious list of corrupt democrats is too awful to ignore. Trump is NOT a career politician so he is not included in this list. Now he is not perfect and I’m not claiming his business record is perfect, however he is not a career politician that made millions off the backs of Americans and he doesn’t use the FBI to spy on his opposition. He doesn’t restrict people’s First amendment rights. He donates his salary and works for the people! He is confronted with the MSM that uses strawman all of the time to make up lies in order to try to steal the election from him. So please, make sure you talk about ALL corrupt politicians not just what CNN tells you.

@menew_mind_life_designs 2 года назад

This is exactly what I learned while teaching kids math…sometimes, I can read their facial expressions and realize there was a disconnect. So, I would ask if there was someone that felt they could reexplain what I said and or demonstrate to the class, how to solve the same problem in kid language, or how to work a similar problem. I was often impressed that by adding “kid language” in they would try harder to understand so they could be the one to explain. Also, I had way more volunteers towards the end of the semester than the beginning. I also had some students that would use the same exact words but the class understood them and not me??? I concluded that I would not take it personal, because it wasn’t about me, I didn’t have to be the one that delivered the skill, I just monitored to ensure it was being explained in a way that was correctly consumed. Even if they used some funny terminology, the proof was on their paper. They felt more comfortable asking me if I could ask if someone else could explain something in “kid language” and they had created a safe atmosphere for making mistakes and learning….even when they started referring to me as an old person 🤣

@yudoball Год назад

As someone who wants to teach math someday. Thank you very much for sharing! Appreciate it alot

@Spritzkrieg Год назад

That's awesome

@danielabay8872 Год назад

There are actually some good teachers out there wow

@hardenburgc Год назад

You have an amazing approach and your students obviously are all the better because of it

@menew_mind_life_designs Год назад

@@hardenburgc Thank you 🙏🏽 for writing such kind words 🫶🏽

@danielabelberova6269 3 года назад

Dr Peterson is one of the most beautiful example of using his immense intellect for the progress and goodness of humanity...I adore his lectures ...He helped me through the darkest moments of my life

@DxmimundobizarroxD 2 года назад

Dany. You explained what I couldn’t! I admire the fact that Mr. Peterson’s high intellect is being used to make this a better world. He is spreading respectful, adult-love. I bet we all wish he was our dad, our uncle, our grandpa because we want to justify the huge appreciation we have for him.

@lostandfound5145 2 года назад

I hope you’re still doing well on your journey through life ❤️

@jarredmarques9660 Год назад

Im glad Dr P found God. It was the only thing he was missing

@moniquemannaert3468 Год назад

@@DxmimundobizarroxD I want him on my team to have the option to keep the real darkness at bay and rest. It would be equally great to just have a simple day of banter with him too. That side we hear very little of.

@johnkolinoff8591 11 месяцев назад

@@DxmimundobizarroxDspot-on it would be great to have an uncle like that you could just go sit and talk too .

@nemishasharma5737 4 года назад

I can't even fathom how much this man has made my life better

@axelwilen59 4 года назад

That is so good to hear, cheers

@personl7949 4 года назад

Sheep

@axelwilen59 4 года назад

@@personl7949 ok

@jdubisbest6204 4 года назад

I can't fathom how much the youtube moderators use his speeches for harassment of those the want to silence.. Going so far as to have my grandmother with alzheimers repeat his stuff (she doesn't youtube)

@davz0r 4 года назад

@@jdubisbest6204 could you elaborate?

@chang_md 3 года назад

Best quote of the day "understanding doesn't mean you agree, but at least you are trying to understand"

@elizabethdelatorre9019 Год назад

Gold

@christophergilliam2328 7 месяцев назад

The advise in this video, which I have taken to heart, literally restored my 10 year marriage from a year of divorce today. When he says to listen to and build up and understand their arguments and then deal with that… that line is what saved us today. I would not be next to my wife-again if not for Jordan Peterson.

@4EverEvolving1 4 месяца назад

I'm on the brink of a divorce with my wife (she leaving me) of 14 years. I'm so inspired by this technique and I'm so lucky that I came across this video today. I am going to try this technique and work this into my life as a regularly as I can. I pray that this is one of many ways that I can improve my relationship with my wife.

@SerpentineWisdom 3 месяца назад

@@4EverEvolving1 updates?

@thesongoflunch 3 месяца назад

Just improve yourself and enjoy new and multiple women - no drama

@arimochii4643 3 месяца назад

@@4EverEvolving1 did it work?

@Cocoisagordonsetter 3 месяца назад

@@4EverEvolving1 She may be too done with you to consider anything you say at all. I hope that isn't the case since you seem humble.

@habibullah17 2 года назад

This 8 minute video is probably what’s going to save my marriage. I am now embarrassed in myself thinking back to how I “argue”. May God bless and protect this man.

@GandiDeluxe132 4 месяца назад

Did it safe your marriage?

@sebsebseb1905 4 года назад

On one hand I wish I found him earlier, on the other maybe I found him at this time because I needed him now

@twoskies3226 4 года назад

I am a couple years down the road from where you are. Keep at it, it gets so much better. But you have to keep at it.

@Marcus-ju1ir 4 года назад

There is never a bad time to realise you need to better yourself

@sebsebseb1905 4 года назад

@@Marcus-ju1ir damn right, it's like "if I go back to school now I'm gonna finish when i'm 40, but if I don't go in 5 years I'll still be 40"

@Marcus-ju1ir 4 года назад

sebseb seb if you want a massive tree to grow in your garden the best time to plant it was 15 years ago the second best time to plant it is right now

@wilsonlee4372 4 года назад

The fates sew on

@Ohquesarah 4 года назад

I will be so sad if anything happens to him. I know he’s not doing well right now. I love him. I love how he points in a welcoming way, not a condescending way. He seems nice. He deserves good health.

@gauvainbeaudrysarrazin6611 4 года назад

what's happening to him?

@gauvainbeaudrysarrazin6611 4 года назад

thanks thomas

@bernadette573 4 года назад

@@gauvainbeaudrysarrazin6611 Petersen is heavily harassed online by Vox Day and Owen Benjamin, neither of whom he ever met.

@jackthompson4571 4 года назад

He actually is doing well. Check his channel he uploaded and update video

@DanyLove48 4 года назад

Que sera Sarah I so agree with you Sarah. He is wonderful. I watch him every day. I do hope he is getting better. We need him.

@abeerulhaqcounseling 3 года назад

He is the man who gave meaning to my psychology profession. I am using his 40 years of experience everyday in my life and will keep using for as many people as I can to make thier lives better .... I promise you Jordan. Thank you very much.

@frankvizen5480 2 года назад

Be careful. Not everything he says is evidence based or even in line with the DSM-V

@fatimahrahman6158 2 года назад

@@frankvizen5480 And, this is why it’s so phenomenal; even those who build the DSM system are not on the same wavelength as Dr. Peterson!

@frankvizen5480 2 года назад

@@fatimahrahman6158 Riiiiiight..... except the DSM is agreed upon by multiple people based on peer reviewed research. Peterson sometimes shoots from the hip

@alexrodrigues4775 2 года назад

@@frankvizen5480 I don't know what you wrote because you deleted your comment, but by deleting your comment you admit that what you wrote was wrong.

@PaintedShovel Год назад

Help me understand how Jordan sounds impulsive to you. Am I correct in this assessment of your analysis of him? I want to know more.

@JaredLaswell 2 года назад

My last relationship taught me patience. It taught me that arguing is only bad if you let anger control the interaction. An argument will be uncomfortable but it's important for both parties to understand that an argument or intense conversation is needed and quite unavoidable. You have to get through the entire argument. You have to ask questions and really investigate where a person is and what exactly they mean. I can make a statement, and until I explain it fully what I truly mean can't be described by that one statement. Do not fear argument. It is an Investigation on what's in each other's hearts and minds, and how else can you truly know who you're dealing with?

@happiestman978 3 года назад

The camera motion makes it feel like he spiked my drink then took advantage of me by lecturing me

@ferrariairwolf 3 года назад

lol just lol

@nwillson999 3 года назад

That's funny 😂 if that's what he's gotta do to get this info out there than so be it 🤷‍♂️

@HumbleServant. 3 года назад

I’m laughing so hard hahaha

@koketsophalane3915 3 года назад

😅😅😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😭😭🤣Wow lmao

@SaintGabriel11 3 года назад

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA!!!!

@jackjones3657 4 года назад

I've seen many of Dr. Peterson's videos and he clearly practices what he preaches. Even with hostile interviewers he seeks to at least understand where they are coming from and then has the courage and grace to point out fallacies without condemning the person. May God bless him in the challenges he is enduring!

@armorsmith43 4 года назад

Sometimes. Sometimes he does this. He’s human and sometimes gets impatient though.

@TheJacklikesvideos 3 года назад

he demonstrates a lot of empathy and recognizes when interacting with someone whether he is interacting with the person, or an ideological possession, and seems to sympathize.

@richmond2487 3 года назад

"Gotcha"

@muffinman2946 3 года назад

@@armorsmith43 On display in the GQ interview.

@margalitvanbergen6620 3 года назад

Be well.🌹 Stay safe🌹 Practice Serenity Jordan P and Jack J December 3 /2020 M🌷🙋🙏

@howtohuman99 3 года назад

I'm a rambler, but I learned to control it, thanks to a friend who was always willing to listen and then summarize what I told him. Listening to his summaries taught me what details were relevant, and which ones could be left out. My stories CAN still be long, but they don't HAVE to be anymore, thanks to that friend who always listens. Be patient with the ramblers in your tribe. Listen and summarize. It's the only way to give them some chance of learning how to keep it short.

@andriafehizoro686 Год назад

ok. thanks. I'll try my best 🤗💕

@HappyinJesus 8 месяцев назад

Love it. What a great friend!

@koolbeans8292 7 месяцев назад

I used to drive a rambler..

@saltysailor141 7 месяцев назад

Man…this hit hard…very helpful share..thanks!

@saltysailor141 7 месяцев назад

@@koolbeans8292I rode a scrambler.

@FaithMcCaffrey 2 года назад

Me and my husband kind of do this all the time and we rarely argue, more so discuss the issue at hand and find a solution together. It's a stark contrast to me and my parents where they would belittle and gaslight me into thinking I was always in the wrong. It took me a long time and my husband to realise it's ok to want to do things for myself, that no is a complete sentence and that I dont have to constantly justify myself to people or constantly apologise for stupid little things.

@davidm4566 2 года назад

Thank you for sharing: this gives hope. The vast majority of people who grew up in emotional abuse grow up to either be the victim in their relationship or they become the abuser who gaslights.

@llIlIlllII 2 года назад

Or the third option: they can't handle any relationships because no one is sensitive enough to their feelings, at the same time as they continue to overextend themselves to be careful of other people's feelings.

@Maddmed 2 года назад

Ah family... sometimes it's shelter from the storm sometimes it's the storm itself

@FaithMcCaffrey 2 года назад

@@Maddmed definitely, my husband is certainly my shelter from the storm that is my parents

@skrivebordsskuffen2442 2 года назад

Know excactly what you meen

@kayligo 4 года назад

It’s not My problem, it’s A problem. Sums up the cure for codependency in one sentence.

@vcoonrod 4 года назад

Gujudhur, seek first to understand. That is basically what he is saying. If you cannot retell them their main ideas, then you didn't understand them. If you make it not your problem sounds like a very detached person who may not care, even if that is not your intent. Life is just one problem after another. Some more bothersome than others! How we solve the problems becomes our life story. Best wishes dear man.

@natalierachellouisesantana 4 года назад

❤️

@32lara32 2 года назад

codependency needs no cure. it is the solution.

@kayligo Год назад

@@browncatwithblurredbackgro2461 you are getting an equal exchange that is agreed upon in advance. It’s not the same as someone trying to act as if you need to solve their life problems.

@kayligo Год назад

@@32lara32 codependency is letting yourself be taken advantage of and used. That’s no answer.

@jfrank4813k 4 года назад

Imagine being in his class, imagine if all teachers gave the same level of truth.

@darkknight3251 4 года назад

It would be a beautiful enlightening educational experience. We need more thinkers like him. On the topic, may I ask if you know anyone else like Jordan Peterson? Would love to listen to more people like him. What I love about him is his fatherly, friendly, and welcoming presence.

@lukeskywalker2116 4 года назад

If that were true, gender studies departments across the country would have to shut down overnight

@markoantonijevic9683 3 года назад

@@lukeskywalker2116 What are they even studying lmao

@Chicagocubbiegirl 3 года назад

That's why they want to destroy him.

@my_name117-letsgettheretog2 3 года назад

I had two teachers similar to him!

@jsmum196 Год назад

Beautiful, caring, compassionate and wonderful! I love this. I also love what Jordan said about taking marriage vows. "I know you're trouble and so am I." We'll be in this together for life and work it out." You cannot get to the sweet fruit unless you're completely in it for life. That's where true intimacy comes. It's the best kept secret.

@annaoja2736 Год назад

After listening to this man for 2 hours I quit smoking ciggarettes been clean of weed and alcohol going on 3 years If only I could now learn how to be nice while I'm going through withdrawls my poor best friend that lives with me I'm sure is tired of me snapping at them and than apologizing like a monster with no control I hope this helps too because I do care

@russ8001 4 года назад

I used to have friends for whom i did this with and it did not help because they were so cruel or so unwilling to hear any other opinion AFTER you made sure you repeated what their point was to their satisfaction that after that they would just keep elaborating and not ever give you the chance to make your point. after a long time i elected to stop being their friend because it was just more and more clear that they were not interested in any opinion that did not match theirs.

@generationless6942 4 года назад

So you were able to thin out who your true friends really are.

@jaimhaas5170 4 года назад

Sounds like most marriages.

@nicholasjarnot524 4 года назад

Lol so it definitely DID help 🤷🏼‍♂️👍

@russ8001 4 года назад

@@generationless6942 Yes, but it is more difficult than it sounds to be rid and stay rid of someone you may have spent years trying to be friends with. It is a sobering realization that some of the people you thought were your friends were not...that some of the people you trusted betrayed you. It requires resolution and constant strength and a sort of unfaltering self-respect, that for me anyway seems to border on narcissistic levels of confidence that you are nearly infallible. When you reflect that you are not perfect, it provides alot of reason to think perhaps your resolution to keep them away from you is too severe, too unforgiving.

@russ8001 4 года назад

@@nicholasjarnot524 It did not help me make my point to them, but I suppose it did help alot if the result was to flush out an enemy.

@akshayde 4 года назад

Cathy newman left the chat

@AnnabellaRedwood 4 года назад

Lol

@regularfather4708 4 года назад

So you're saying that women are intellectually weak?

@Aziz0938 4 года назад

@@regularfather4708 😅 I know what you mean... But no only Cathy Newman is

@regularfather4708 4 года назад

@@Aziz0938 Ha!

@robw4ltz408 3 года назад

Ha Gotcha

@giusepperesponte8077 Год назад

This is always what I’ve always done since I hit around age 15. My goal is to represent their argument as thoroughly as possible. I do this because I have a genuine interest in the truth, regardless if it serves me or not.

@kimberlyrobbins4047 2 года назад

I just love Jordan Peterson. ❤he saved my life and doesn’t even know.

@chomama1628 Год назад

His words helped you but you saved yourself.

@kimberlyrobbins4047 Год назад

@@chomama1628 I absolutely did.

@mattel_es8046 3 года назад

And then you can spot the crazy people; they always change their story when you repeat it back to them.

@uluthandomtambo2155 2 года назад

😂😂😂

@genzcurmudgeon8037 4 года назад

I did this with my roommate once and it was really amazing. I tried to honestly re-articulate what he said and asked simple questions, he began correcting and clarifying what he said. He began to open his own mind on the subject and then thanked me as if I had opened it for him. It was cool, I said hey all I did was ask a few questions and you brought yourself to your own conclusions. Much better results than raising my voice and increasing my words per minute

@peacesound1101 2 года назад

In my hippie days we called that "mirroring"

@dearbrave4183 2 года назад

😄❤️

@dearbrave4183 2 года назад

@@peacesound1101 nope. It's not the same. From what is known in psychology mirroring is mimicking to present a false facade and similarity to others in order to be likeable and make people lower their guard instead of appearing how you are and being accepted or rejected for it. Manipulators and predators love this concept. As for what he did, he only wanted to get to the root cause so he asked questions. He didn't pretend to be who he wasn't .

@bayabooz4855 2 года назад

@@dearbrave4183 🤓

@daisymay9448 2 года назад

This video made me feel like I had jumped into a freezing cold lake on a hot sunny day. Exhilaration, effervescence & fear flowed through me simulataniously while listening to this man, knowing that I need to hear more of his teachings. First time listener. Thank you!

@emmawelsh5336 Год назад

What a beautiful way to say this.

@DaftSandwich 10 месяцев назад

'AllPeotry' has an app now, they are the biggest online peots community. Hope to see you there!

@DaftSandwich 10 месяцев назад

'AllPeotry' has an app now, they are the biggest online peots community. Hope to see you there!

@ws8668 2 года назад

This man has really made my life better with dealing with issues in my life. So glad I accidentally came across him

@natetastespurple9073 4 года назад

Seek first to understand and then be understood

@jacobmarshall5391 4 года назад

Vlog creations?

@crisshaunnelson-jackson9534 4 года назад

7 habits. 👍🏾

@JuanPablo-os5pj 3 года назад

Ross creations

@mpr746 3 года назад

@@JuanPablo-os5pj Stephen Covey

@sylvesterhurt447 3 года назад

COVEY!!

@BitterTast3 4 года назад

Marshall Rosenberg taught this. Never concern yourself with what people think. Listen instead for what the needs are behind those thoughts.

@oilonze 4 года назад

A very good point. I tell people to refrain from being reactionary but to dig deeper into why someone would have a controversial view on something, by listening and asking a little more questions to figure out the perspective of that person to better understand where they are coming from so you can understand their underlining belief. Only then, I believe, can we understand each other and appreciate our differences without getting into unnecessary arguments/fights

@sieleeb 4 года назад

I was thinking that; non violent communication.

@brianallen140 3 года назад

Only if I give a shit.

@stevecarter8810 3 года назад

@@brianallen140 yes it does have to start with cultivating an attitude of curiosity.

@Shushkin 3 года назад

Sounds like another level of mind reading. Don't just read their thoughts, but also read their intentions, needs and emotions!

@claudes.whitacre1241 3 года назад

At about 1:30 in, he tells you THE way to avoid arguments. The way to understand each other. What an outstanding teacher and communicator.

@hisokalperv1096 2 года назад

I feel this, this is the EXACT problem ive been trying to solve for a while. Ive had few people to listen to me or to listen to in my life and the few i do, i talk to once in a while, and so i have all these thoughts that are so unrefined, so when i DO talk to someone i just shit out all this unnecessary information, i can feel the boredom and confusion from them, i feel my barely functioning ability to maintain a conversation slipping and its causing me to avoid conversations further weakening my social skills more and more

@munchiekins Год назад

keep trying, dont give up 😊

@SenoraCorrea Месяц назад

That's crazy that I see this comment because this describes my thinking perception and I do tend to ramble and I've isolated myself more because of it, so now it's hard to carry on a conversation with other people, and I can do it but sometimes its like I don't want to diarrhea at the mouth with all this backed up content and need to socialize. So I tend to disappear or ghost because of it.

@amazingyear9042 4 года назад

“we organize our brains through talking”

@mira238 3 года назад

Really strong idea

@Lisabug2659 4 года назад

Useful......unless you’re dealing with a narcissist.

@colinwiener3268 4 года назад

Lisa Gunnison well as Peterson mentioned in the Second rule of his book, their are a lot less narcissistic people around that people this k. Believing people to be narcissistic is fashionable and easy, understanding that every person is full of shame and thus isn't quite as full of self importance than you might think, is a lot harded

@Lisabug2659 4 года назад

Colmag how’s this..... Useful......unless you’re dealing with a megalomaniac?

@colinwiener3268 4 года назад

Lisa Gunnison It's useful in any sense as long as you belive you're dealing with a narcissist. That belief is often wrong and thus this information in the video becomes more useful.

@Lisabug2659 4 года назад

Colmag me again....I am a Peterson fan. Sharing this link as I believe this woman makes very valid points with regard to “is this person a true narcissist” and the “trend” in labeling one as such. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-k30mcjSkmT8.html. I would agree with you that the percentage of true narcissists is low however, one comes to recognize certain traits or dimensions/attributes in individuals who are totally self-serving. True narcissists leave a wake of destruction sucking the life energy out of people.

@karamlevi 4 года назад

Lisa Gunnison or a BPD or other Cluster B.

@rarearthman 3 года назад

The person who wins in an argument is the person who learns something.

@peacesound1101 2 года назад

Good point. Unfortunately, what I've learned was not to argue.

@juliemonarch7364 3 года назад

This man makes so much sense..... Just the way a proper brain should work. Common sense at it's finest.

@silvybothamakeup 4 года назад

This is true.... it’s changed how my husband and I argue or have conversations

@raia9 3 года назад

Can you tell us more about what you did and experienced please?

@Dr.Pepperdave 3 года назад

I just say Yes Dear...

@eightyeightdays 4 года назад

Restating what you think the other person is feeling is exactly one of the techniques that Chris Voss teaches in his book about negotiation. If it's powerful enough to work in hostage situations where lives are on the line, then it could do wonders for our intimate relationships and day to day interactions. Empathy is one helluva drug.

@TranceCore3 2 года назад

@S K empathy isn't being used against you. You're being empathic for yourself, because it makes you feel good, you don't actuality care about the person you're helping.

@lenjoplus 2 года назад

@@TranceCore3 Speak for yourself!

@johnmalcolm4822 2 года назад

It's also what Cathy Newman got ridiculed for. In that case she seemed to twist his words towards what she was saying. This highlights a pitfall to watch out for when using this principle.

@johnmalcolm4822 2 года назад

@@TranceCore3 If the only motivation you can find for doing the right thing is that it makes you feel good, well that's a good start. I feel however that that kind of payoff might not always be possible when trying to improve the bigger picture. I think there are many times when sincere empathy hurts a lot. Jordan sometimes cries when describing other people's plights.

@Portia620 2 года назад

Empathy is a horrible human trait! Gets you no where! Evil wins oh wait this guy doesn’t evil in evil.. then let’s say playing unfair and screwing others over. Just what I’ve seen and I always played the good side and didn’t lie was honorable and wow empathy let’s put it this way of complex PTSD now. Super power for awhile when I didn’t feel a thing after years of covert abuse tactics of manipulation and gaslighting and this guy doesn’t believe in narcissist? 😂🤣. We have many politicians that act that way so do we say that their sociopaths psychotic I don’t know I’m not a doctor but narcissistic is the only thing I have read that describes the crap that I went through so if that’s not what I went through I wish to find a new word for it. All I know is I’m making sure I learn as much as possible so I never go through that hell again!

@susanpage7874 11 месяцев назад

Thank you so much. A blueprint on how to have a real life conversation. Much overlooked in society which instead resorts to the lowest levels possible, instead of problem solving and reconciliation. ❤

@cynthiahafner796 Год назад

Dr Peterson has been so inspirational to me. I’ve lived in a dysfunctional marriage for over half of our 40 years and I’ve just realized recently that I have settled for so much. That’s about to change because I will not continue to live with someone that doesn’t care about my feelings. Thank you for opening my eyes. God bless you. ❤️🙏🏼

@PhilJonesIII 3 года назад

This technique worked in a slightly more obscure way for me. I'd taken custody of my two sons but, as a result of the abuse they suffered earlier, was obliged to attend weekly visits with social workers and child psychologists. The problem was that I had to speak French and though my mastery of the language was 'good enough' for day-to-day use, it was barely adequate for the vocabulary I was now encountering. So, I repeated what I understood them to have said. It was daunting at first because I felt it was trying their patience. Not so, it actually increased their confidence in me. Hard work certainly but it paid back. More importantly, my sons are now thriving and doing well academically.

@hannahamoah9034 Год назад

Word.

@joebrowser775 3 года назад

Listening to this guy and seeing that there is a classroom full of young people paying attention gives me hope.

@asapjohnson7809 2 года назад

Thank you Mr. Peterson. Thank you Jordan. Thank you so much for all of your unimaginably difficult work. You are such a wonderful and extraordinary gentleman sir. If only 1% of the people on our planet used their minds and bodies as carefully and as responsibly as you do, who knows what the human species could accomplish. Keep up the great work and never give up Jordan. Your such a brilliant guiding starlight for so many and I for one, would fight and die, or fight and live to protect your awesome insights, and your relentless faith in humanity.

@TheMuseSway 2 года назад

I love how enthusiastic he is. You can tell he's passionate and loves what he does. Lucky.

@justaghostno.2234 4 года назад

My compassion comes off as anger a lot. I need to work on that.

@unpluggedtoaster7421 4 года назад

Good luck

@watermelonlimejuice5574 3 года назад

Does it gradually turn into anger throughout the discussion? or do you enter the discussion already angry?

@shaunapeebles9752 3 года назад

Me too. Is it linked to a sense of intense grief or stress?

@sarahdinwiddie4246 3 года назад

Might be an enneagram 8....

@etin97 3 года назад

Huh, now that you say that same

@Sienna_bee 4 года назад

bless his soul and may health manifest in his body to match the strength of his mind

@williamcureatz1628 4 года назад

Hey, is he ok? I was not aware if he is unwell.

@hananjat.5194 2 года назад

I soooo love this man!!! What an excellent mind & huge heart!!!

@ShannyFMinstereo 2 года назад

He’s a bloody gift.. There are plenty of people with plenty of knowledge who love the sound of their own voice so much so that it becomes all about their ego and less about sharing life changing information in our human condition.. His articulation and passion makes me want to go back to Uni.. 👏⭐️

@elizabethd.838 4 года назад

Following that rule is practically impossible in this world of folks lacking intellectual honesty and humility in pursuit of truth. They’re too stuck on their own ideas. I use this technique with behavior children at school and it’s very helpful in building relationships, respect, and logic. Adults look at you like 😳 when you start this method midstream in their hyped up assertions. It’s worth it just to see their face. It also helps to reveal who wants to argue just to argue, if a person truly understands their opinion, and if they don’t understand!

@planetary-rendez-vous 4 года назад

So I take it you actually tried.

@tuestresfat 4 года назад

@@planetary-rendez-vous I have only shared this with my significant other. With my friends/coworkers/etc I don't tell them anything, but I enforce the rule for myself. It forces ME to listen. I don't really care about other people's ability to listen because like Elizabeth D. said, most people are uninterested in intellectual conversations--they just want to be right and they just want someone to listen to them.

@planetary-rendez-vous 4 года назад

@@tuestresfat You know what, this is a good idea as well. I'm going to try this for myself, no need to "burden" the others with this.

@androkguz 3 года назад

I mostly try to do it for myself all the time. Not that I always succeed. Sometimes the conversation is just not interesting. But anyway, using this on yourself makes me feel somewhat alone.

@aisforairborne 4 года назад

This is the best description of a straw man fallacy I've ever heard. Makes me want to move to Toronto and go to university.

@eminemfan3333 4 года назад

Well, that's definitely not what Dr. Peterson would like you to do. He is repelled by universities lately...

@unpluggedtoaster7421 4 года назад

@@eminemfan3333 but we wanna see HIM lol

@MsZsc 3 года назад

Screw toronto go to ubc

@get_busy_living 3 года назад

@@MsZsc If I hear you correctly, you don't like Toronto very much and UBC is a better University 😉

@MsZsc 3 года назад

@@get_busy_living never been there

@monkeyloven Год назад

The last 30 seconds is gold, thank you Jordan!!!!!!!!!!!

@christiea772 7 месяцев назад

Thank you for adding the official link to the full lecture

@penelopelambson9128 4 года назад

Telling your story is futile when the response of the other person is to then tell something about himself, without any acknowledgment or further interest in what you have said. There is no curiosity, or connecting the dots from other conversations. What you have shared is merely a springboard for the other to talk about himself. It’s a form of being ignored and unheard.

@mattystewart8 4 года назад

Hence the title showing someone you do care....

@sarahholloway8672 4 года назад

Sounds like dealing with a narcissist.

@jendlee9996 4 года назад

I'm finding more and more and MORE people who do this.....

@MrCardinal1965 3 года назад

I think it comes down to the fact that ‘caring is currency’. We each arrive into relationships with different understandings of what care represents. Some people care in abundance, whilst others are severely impoverished in their capacity for care. Hence, we have to be discerning with regards to how we enter into relationships not based solely on our feelings, but on thought and observation (what are they like around other people?). This is my checklist for demonstrating and understanding another’s capacity for caring: 1. To enquire genuinely and sincerely about another’s welfare. 2. Showing interest in what someone is currently doing. 3. Being willing to spend time with another (Availability). 4. Actively listening. 5. Being attentive to the needs of others. 6. Offering support and protection (without disabling the other). 7. Showing empathy. 8. Being dependable. 9. Give and take. 10. Showing appreciation. 11. Being non-judgemental. 12. Celebrating successes. 13. Respecting another’s time and priorities. 14. Candour (will you tell me what I don’t want to hear?). 15. Seeking to understand the world from the others perspective. 16. Seeking to develop skills and talents (Wanting to develop the very best that is in a person).

@MoonLynxWaterPower 3 года назад

I realized I do that sometimes and I definitely started working on my self to show the other person I am interested without making it all about me.

@lookoutforchris 3 года назад

This is exactly what Kathy Newman did to him in her interview. “So what you’re saying is...” then insert some absurd caricature.

@haghendowdy4750 3 года назад

except at no point did she describe a satisfactory representation of what JP initially stated

@L_C01 3 года назад

Yes, attempted to shred anything he stated out of hand, like most people that argue something. She wasn't trying to help him build his arguments, she was using his arguments, twisting and distorting them, by any means to discredit him in any/every possible way. I bet she's still recovering from that interview lol

@alexanderarkum4793 Год назад

Ive never seen someone with such a powerful intellect but such a sweet soul......this man is a treasure

@canicajoy 5 месяцев назад

Thank you! Will go over this video several times.

@idye4u 4 года назад

One of the best JP's ever. But omg the cameraman needs a beating

@shoegal7 4 года назад

You could just listen instead of watching.

@hitesh3825 4 года назад

cameraman needs a beating 😂😂😂

@jackieblue9536 4 года назад

Thanks for the laugh...really needed that...

@colinlatham7905 4 года назад

Made worse by the wonky screen behind

@martikyRE 3 года назад

At least he did the effort to record it so all of us could watch.

@MrSaemichlaus 4 года назад

I'll put it this way: two people can have a discussion about contradictory opinions and come out the other end with a different opinion or at least perspective on things. It's only an argument when people are fixed on an opinion and they are just trying to verbally overpower each other to win a point.

@danielbianchi2246 3 года назад

Correct , luckily I learned this early in Life, very powerful message!

@jessel8833 2 года назад

The art & practice of listening. Show people respect. Allow yourself to fully absorb the topic, issue, complaint. That not only shows respect, it also allows you to truly take in another viewpoint. Often, even at odds with your own, can help lead to a more valuable solution, discussion, resolution. Leaves everyone in a more well-rounded, positive way.

@BarbaraMarieLouise 3 года назад

That’s really helpful! I always do it in my job for counseling women in pregnancy crises. That helps so much to find out the real reason why they are in the crises and to figure out how to help them properly! Otherwise you don‘t get their trust.

@nukepizzaa 4 года назад

bruh i have a hangover and the video makes me doubt if im fine yet

@juriwestendorf6548 4 года назад

Shrooms will tell

@nukepizzaa 4 года назад

@@juriwestendorf6548 ;)

@peggyprose 3 года назад

Just listen....

@whatdoesthisthingdo 3 года назад

Wow dude, that seems so profound... Like did you just get so drunk that you inadvertently unlocked a mystery of the universe or something?

@nukepizzaa 3 года назад

@@whatdoesthisthingdo yeah and the answer is Life is suffering but if you can give back to the world, then the suffering is worth it. Give love and warmth and truth and the world will give that back to you Good luck brother

@kj-sf4md 4 года назад

Mr. Peterson, you are a true beacon. Thank you. We are praying for you.

@mznaeture 2 года назад

Active listening is an actual SKILL 👏🏾 THANK YOU JP!

@buglemonade2953 2 года назад

I love these lectures.

@elizabethsullivan4332 3 года назад

My late husband , Richard Joseph Sullivan, was a great admirer of yours and he was nobody’s fool. He introduced your posts to my younger brother Richard, Quay, and. he is still grateful. Thank you for your sane discourse in this often crazy world. Elizabeth Quay Sullivan Professor Emeritus, SUNY Farmingdale

@navkbor 3 года назад

Am I the only one who was thinking of Cathy Newman when he was describing how people try to win an argument by having their own comfortable interpretation of what the other person said, and mix it with bunch of their own assumptions/accusations? Somebody wrote the below parody transcript somewhere (do not remember where), and its hilarious: Jordan: I like cats Cathy: So, you mean to say you hate dogs? Jordan said people who argue like that are simply crooked (which they are)!

@urbctwentyeight 2 года назад

Learning so much as I am watching & trying to put what I learn into practice 💗 life quality improvements

@rules4life337 2 года назад

The man is an inspiration to all. Our school system should make his online speeches a class in itself.

@VeeralLadTV Год назад

but they won't because the school system is built to produce good employees, and only teach what is necessary to be a good employees, and leave out the rest. In school you are mostly taught to be booksmart, but in reality we must all become street smart to gain true knowledge, and Jordan Peterson definitely provides the knowledge we need in life.

@lillianbarker4292 10 месяцев назад

Early childhood teachers, like my husband who taught kindergarten, are trained to help children use their words, express feelings, and get along with each other. That’s why local governments need to help teachers get ongoing education and let them do their best work. It’s also important to support Head Start programs to help teach communication skills early. ❤

@user-nj5cl6xs4n 4 года назад

"Its a whole forest that needs a forest fire" That is where I am. I am one of the ones that has gone on for decades without anyone to talk to and currently live in that dying forest. I have recently lit that match though and began the burn. A controlled burn and its been a slow one but I feel like things are finally beginning to change. I am starting to feel better for the first time in over 20 years.

@laureho3566 4 года назад

J 🤲☀️💧🤎........🌱💚

@pamelacharlet1436 4 года назад

If It's my life then I need to put a plot twist into it sometimes to creat the life story representative of me. There are doubters and haters but....

@siftyshifty 4 года назад

Keep on keeping on

@oliverchristophergomez4642 4 года назад

Good for you. I hope you keep plugging away at whatever it is that's been troubling you.

@amazingyear9042 4 года назад

Good. I am curious how you do that because maybe it is something that I could do as well...

@kathrynhogan9273 3 года назад

He offers logic, humour (covertly) and wisdom that I am only now-able to appreciate. The “don’t cast pearls before swine” is a massive time saver.

@davidm4566 2 года назад

That's from a Bible verse :) I've learned hard way to follow that advice.

@flyingtime5501 Год назад

And the bible is correct again!

@rachel14rod 2 года назад

I love the pruning he mentioned.

@matangihealingbyjaya886 Год назад

How i needed to hear this today. Thank you Dr JBP

@AG-ej7wm 3 года назад

"You need someone to listen to you." True words.

@knightjamesii7757 3 года назад

As someone who is striving to enter a relationship with a woman I need to remember this.

@64maxpower 3 года назад

Good luck. Let me know how that goes for you

@johannesvonsaaz3987 3 года назад

Just remember 99 percent of relationships end in a train wreck

@knightjamesii7757 3 года назад

@@johannesvonsaaz3987 99 percent of anything ends poorly. But that 1 percent is worth it.

@tdawg5973 3 года назад

@@knightjamesii7757 you have the right idea stay persistent in your desire

@tortuga7160 2 года назад

I love the lectures that take place at the bottom of a lake.

@mikehagan4320 3 года назад

The Way that J.P. has Digested all of this Knowledge from So Many Sources Including His Own Experiences. Then Boiled it Down to Make it Useful is Amazing. It Also Makes Him One of the Greatest Men of our Time. Best Wishes! M.H.

@busch2174 3 года назад

I love people who know they have a gift and actually use it to help bring people out of the dark and start to see light its beautiful

@gking407 4 года назад

One of the most important videos on the internet. Evidence: every online comment section ever.

@dinubella 2 года назад

You bring my thoughts into words with extra icing and cherry on the top

@tuddsmithers7101 2 года назад

Outstanding, thanks for sharing.

@kokirikid817 3 года назад

This is some of the most profound and practical advice for interpersonal communication. Teach it to yourself and your children.

@jennywadsworth6013 3 года назад

This takes so much strength of character and courage. So glad I can listen to this over and over.

@Levandetag 3 года назад

...Not many even Willing, to do this, today. Thats the sad part between humans, they cant listen, they just want to win. Most of them.

@sarapletsch7196 2 года назад

I am so thankful that you were born, Jordan Peterson, and most of all that you speak your voice and purpose with the most beautiful authenticity.

@janjoson3843 3 года назад

Jordan, hits the spot when it comes to daily life and conversations.

@heroiuraresjustinian4681 4 года назад

The camerawork is incredible

@zboyovskyshawn 4 года назад

Do not ignore the valuable message because of the mechanism of delivery.

@kiddme7311 4 года назад

5stars and Two fat thumbs up for a good use of irony

@donnavorbach215 2 года назад

Lol, so pithy!

@johnchapman2307 3 года назад

That's crazy, this is how me and my homies converse.

@brianallen140 3 года назад

Doubtful

@aryanparikh9085 3 года назад

Can I be your homie?

@lengka2373 3 года назад

Good for you! ☺

@johnchapman2307 3 года назад

Its unwritten rule i guess. Just makes sense to fully understand the homies point before you either agree or make a counterpoint.

@kevinm4664 2 года назад

youve saved my life JP at 30 years old im finally sober after 20 years of doing EVERYTHING, but without you and your incredible insight I would not be here ! I am going back to school to pursue a life of academia! ;) All thanks to you!

@d7ooomymc346 2 года назад

I’ve been doing this unintentionally, and i am grateful.

@firepots 3 года назад

This is great stuff. Basically, how to convert an argument into a very interesting and engaging conversation, which while doing so, builds up respect between the two parties, instead of the opposite.