Lemon for a Dollar | Net Positive with John Crist

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It's the first solo episode in a while, and John is back and feeling very grateful, but also, stop asking for customer email addresses at American Eagle...
Topics Include:
Intro (0:00)
Can't read (5:12)
Grocery store gratitude (23:30)
Kevin Garnett (38:30)
Strawberry milk mob (45:40)
Pregnant on a place (49:57)
You are a billionaire (1:11:25)
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WATCH: • John Crist: Would Like...
John's NEW Comedy Special, "John Crist Would Like To Release A Statement"
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THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT TOUR: johncristcomedy.com/tour/
1/27 Nashville, TN
2/2 Greenville, SC
2/3 Knoxville, TN
2/4 Huntsville, AL
2/9 Amarillo, TX
2/10 Wichita Falls, TX
2/11 Lubbock, TX
2/16 Munhall, PA
2/17 Zanesville, OH
2/18 Cleveland, OH
3/1 Mobile, AL
3/2 New Orleans, LA
3/3 Sugar Land, TX
3/8 Royal Oak, MI
3/9 Fort Wayne, IN
3/10 Peoria, IL
3/22 Buffalo, NY
3/23 Toronto, ON
3/24 Erie, PA
3/28 Durham, NC
3/29 Macon, GA
3/30 Chattanooga, TN
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Catch full episodes every Thursday right here, and follow the podcast on social media (@netpositivepodcast) for clips, bonus content, and updates throughout the week.
Email us at netpositive@johncristcomedy.com
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PRODUCED BY:
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#JohnCrist #NetPositive #podcast

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Опубликовано:

3 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 87

@Jordan-116 6 месяцев назад

For people asking about his bowl cut. He did it for his last Crisp Cuts tour and in a recent episode said he might bring it back. Looks like he did. Sure his gf will have him change that as soon as possible lol 😂 Love you tho John! 😅

@MariaC.VIIIXIII 6 месяцев назад

@@IrishTemplar Hi there. Just FYI, John does have a girlfriend...her name is Lidia (not sure if I spelled it correctly). We've heard her on the podcast-she seems sweet☺

@AwakenTheDawn2004 6 месяцев назад

Yes, Lydia Fielder... She's a journalist/reporter at WSMZ

@_sowhat_ 6 месяцев назад

Who is Whitney??

@ashleyleiner9190 6 месяцев назад

“Wait could you know it without reading it” 😂😂😂😂😂

@SS-ms2hg 6 месяцев назад

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

@samanthamckeown3309 6 месяцев назад

In the grocery store listening to those episode. Lemons are 3 for $1 here. 😮

@momofthree9100 5 месяцев назад

Yes! A dollar for a lemon to me is actually a lot! 😂

@Becka034 6 месяцев назад

I have been listening to the podcasts in the car every week and I laugh thru it so much! Best 90 minutes!

@lisaelias5330 6 месяцев назад

Switching to Spotify immediately.😂

@catlover129 6 месяцев назад

I honestly thought he was wearing a hat at 1st. I was disappointed he was talking about his haircut, but covered it up. On 2nd look I realized that was his hair!😂 😂

@catiecarriger8081 6 месяцев назад

I’ve waited so long for this haircut to come back 😂🫡🤑

@Christopher_Lind 6 месяцев назад

We’re advancing the beauty and depth of the English language with words like rizz. Imagine how far we’ll be in 100 years.

@Christopher_Lind 6 месяцев назад

Sounds like you might need to bring the blurry creatures guys back to talk through the fast food photo conspiracy. That’s straight up Illuminati right there. 😂

@motherwolf8407 6 месяцев назад

John asks who works? He already answered it... The lemon farmers!

@momofthree9100 5 месяцев назад

A lemon for $1 is expensive!! That’s like 2 glasses of lemonade 😂

@alisonpopolo5110 6 месяцев назад

We had a man in our town who was severely neglected and adopted at an older child. He is illiterate. He drove illegally mostly around the farm but he got used to matching the numbers on the speed limit signs to the numbers in his car and identified Stop and yield signs by shapes.

@AgentZero777 6 месяцев назад

Haircut is crazy !!! 😅

@rbfoster 6 месяцев назад

He acknowledged it… but then NO EXPLANATION

@mrpatrick2582 6 месяцев назад

Already got my Spokane tix. Glad you're coming back!

@daniellea2 6 месяцев назад

Excited to see you in Munhall! That haircut, tho 😬

@colinbeckstrand2612 6 месяцев назад

Lemon for a Dollar TShirt would be really cool.

@thetiffanystevenson 6 месяцев назад

Learn to read in Kindergarten now.... it's crazy because when I was a kid, it was cutting pasting learning to be kind, not taking stuff that isn't yours and taking a nap.

@katiehuff3298 6 месяцев назад

Yesss!!! Homeschool is the best school!! My daughter is in 4th grade she definitely is a great reader. Doesn't like cursive and math but is working on it. She can read cursive though. Also I love suits. It's a great show. Lol Love the bowl cut!!!

@timothytraver5918 6 месяцев назад

The pregnant lady on the plane thing sounds like a George Costanza storyline.

@peggyswalley2605 6 месяцев назад

Grand Forks is getting sooo close to Montana! Please come to Billings, Montana!!

@tammihinkley8428 6 месяцев назад

Ok I have to begin this by admitting my age, 47. When I was a teen we lived in rural America so four wheel driving was a popular past time.the number of boys, that got stuck trying to save each other was hilarious. Then boys had bo business trying to pull out a rig from the mud that some other testosterone filled kid thought his rig could go through 😂😂. Then I would pull up in my rig and the boys would want to borrow my rig to help pull out other vehicles. I was like no, I got this. So I would then precede to pull everyone out. Looking back I understand why these guys never asked me out. 😂 it's ok, my husband is a fantastic driver and deserves my respect.😊

@princesssummerland7269 6 месяцев назад

John your Nateland episodes were so funny! The cutest person reading on a podcast is Nate Bargatze on Nateland. His cutlery “ cut Larry” pronunciation is classic Nateland 😂😂😂

@janae09 6 месяцев назад

“Women aren’t funny” is wild John.

@billiparis3203 6 месяцев назад

Been waiting for this... Prayers from Casper Wyoming ❤

@jacobseeger4428 6 месяцев назад

Come to Utica, NY. They got large enough venues, and it's only twenty minutes from my house. I'm sure you have a lot of fans in this area, John.

@klgore63 6 месяцев назад

FYI the seats in the back are narrower on a lot of large flights. They cram you in like sardines.

@judysmith7428 6 месяцев назад

Probably didn’t ask the pregnant woman because when you are in the exit row you are supposed to be able to help out.

@stephaniemccormick8003 6 месяцев назад

Why not book your tickets together ? First time flying 😂

@debbieweir4733 6 месяцев назад

Love Suits!

@darlenemcintyre9998 6 месяцев назад

My son's car got frozen to the driveway. Could not get it out. A friend came to rescue him with a specific tool for this very scenario. I was impressed!

@billiparis3203 6 месяцев назад

Great rhythm tonight guys! t

@user-wg3ju9vi4e 6 месяцев назад

The flight attendant knows the people on the exit row need to be able to physically help others out or be able to open the door in a crisis. You have to agree to do this when you sit in the exit row. They may have thought a pregnant woman shouldn’t be put in that situation or they may have rules about capable people sitting in those rows.

@Tony-Pino 6 месяцев назад

Dude you look like a young Tom Green!

@marianacastano3277 3 месяца назад

I wonder is Morgan Wallen listened to this before he threw the chair 😂

@andreahammond8967 6 месяцев назад

A friend took in his nephew who just graduated, from High school and he can't read a menu, it's so sad, he'll usually just order what the guy next to him has.

@christinelopez2010 6 месяцев назад

I've flown several times while pregnant. You're not supposed to sit in an exit row. You're not capable of helping people.

@adamwarren5654 6 месяцев назад

What happened in May…Pearl Harbor?! I guess John skipped History while learning to read in 6th grade.

@thiamc4382 6 месяцев назад

The micro learning 😂

@melissalettner6947 6 месяцев назад

Did anyone notice the Nikes? Freakin awesome.

@brygoss6733 6 месяцев назад

Welp, I’ve finally caught up in the series and now have to wait for each drop like the rest of the peasants

@donnarieks9168 6 месяцев назад

As a person who works I the school system, we do teach reading but many parents don’t read or read to their children. English is a hard to read because there are exceptions to rules and have some sounds that can be spelled differently er, it for example. Cursive is beginning to be taught more. I wonder if video games hinder children’s fine motor skills. What to you think.

@doctorandrew04 6 месяцев назад

Suits is so great!! Watching it through for the second time now! Love Harvey, can't stand Louis

@remurphy948 6 месяцев назад

Ok, it definitely matters where you’re going to your AA meetings. Try a meeting in the Hamptons (lived there a few years). Even the Midwest there are lawyers, doctors, and business owners. At rehab they had a professionals track too. (Per my friends experience) 13:34

@SS-ms2hg 6 месяцев назад

You could fake it in a restaurant. Just pretend to look and then ask the server what their favorite food is and order that.

@KwincyS 6 месяцев назад

I have 4 kids and I have to say being pregnant makes you think you deserve things you don’t. Woman have been pregnant for all of history we’re not unicorns lol there’s nothing that the husband could do for her by being next to her. You don’t deserve a bigger seat just because your pregnant. You know what your signing up for when you buy the ticket

@cartera3642 6 месяцев назад

Reading 1 book a week, you can read 3000 books by age 52. So maybe Kat has read that many, including the Dr Seuss and Archie comics in there too

@elizabethc.6353 6 месяцев назад

1:13:00 This is hilarious! But also look at it through a believer lens... This guy is prophesying to his body, speaking over his life, using the authority that God gave us to speak things into existence. #1 pod? Go on and prophesy, boy! 😉

@melissa8580 6 месяцев назад

55:06 aren’t there certain requirements for exit row passengers because they have the added expectation to 1. Be able to open the exit door which is not easy and 2. In theory help others out through the door? I thought you had to be or seem to be physically fit, probably preferably male, able bodied, etc to sit in an exit row which is why the Flight Attendant didn’t pick the pregnant lady.

@abigail11111 6 месяцев назад

Kids can't read because John took down all the mini-libraries

@katebuckson 6 месяцев назад

That bowl cut is why I stick to Spotify. It's hard to watch. 😆

@deyannaf4380 6 месяцев назад

Many different words for love would be nice.

@melissaowens0321 6 месяцев назад

A dollar for a lemon is so expensive, dude. lol

@stephenbuechner9595 6 месяцев назад

Wait, does John think Pearl Harbor happened in May?

@boxermom9 5 месяцев назад

No, that was a joke.

@AnotherStephJR 6 месяцев назад

Why is Bradley Coopers nephew co-hosting a podcast w John Crist?? So random 🤔 I’m new to the pod and wondering how y’all know each other! Been really enjoying the fun and chaos of the Net Pos Pod. Thanks for the LOLs !! 😉

@85transam 6 месяцев назад

Probably only cost the guy 15 cents to make the lemon lol

@TheMutchlerchad 6 месяцев назад

Lloyd Christmas, is that you?

@PastorTom2009 6 месяцев назад

My wife is a kindergarten teacher. Kids read in kindergarten

@kde2610 6 месяцев назад

Grant Cardone = Scientology

@BryanBootka 5 месяцев назад

The perfectly functioning guy needs to tell his eyes to work. He is wearing glasses.

@lisaelias5330 6 месяцев назад

Most things written for everyday people are written at the sixth grade level- which is a lot higher than you might think.

@vanessajanik4623 6 месяцев назад

Post Malone can’t even live the Post Malone lifestyle. He’s spoken about it & written songs about it. I love Posty. I hope he gets & stays healthy. He’s super humble & talented. He doesn’t need all the substances.

@jessicatierrayt 6 месяцев назад

John’s going through a phase

@mkeller18 6 месяцев назад

I've never been pregnant so what do I know. But. If she's so pregnant that the seat is extra uncomfortable for her, can she perform the "extra duties" that come with sitting in the exit row?

@mkeller18 6 месяцев назад

Daaang Alex! You and I. Same page.

@codysellers1555 6 месяцев назад

Dan, you never say me Llamo es

@tammihinkley8428 6 месяцев назад

If a woman is pregnant is more comfortable to be with your husband who you can lean on. Also that long of a flight you want to move your legs as much as possible so you have less swelling in your ankles. This is difficult in regular seats. Finally I hope that my son and husband would move for a woman to be with her husband. That is true masculinity and chilvary.

@stephaniemccormick8003 6 месяцев назад

Wouldn't you want them to have enough sense to book the correct seats from the jump?

@Street.Dreams304 4 месяца назад

How disappointing, only 3 of 3 on the net positive Jordans! They are fly tho.

@slmadison1213 6 месяцев назад

Dude, what was that at 3:32? A hairball?

@odessagirl4life 6 месяцев назад

What company did Matt book Christian concerts with?

@boxermom9 5 месяцев назад

For the guy who's a billionarie, so I can meditate my anxiety and ADHD away??! 😂😂

@kde2610 6 месяцев назад

Is the new haircut for his comedy tour?

@jacobseeger4428 6 месяцев назад

Full. Version. Of. Theme. Song.

@silasalias 6 месяцев назад

are we all sure john's ok? i mean.. he's going hard on this $1 lemon story.. still looking like an extra for dumb and dumber.. and no one bats an eye?

@vanessajanik4623 6 месяцев назад

Nah the girl scout cookie post I understand. It’s basically just saying “hey these young girls selling cookies don’t need your life story.. just say no thanks.” Yeah I don’t think that’s unreasonable. You don’t have to come up with/excuses or try to be funny about your diet. They’re cookies. It’s not that deep.