SOME MEN SAY THEY WANT A DIVORCE AS A SMOKE SCREEN WHEN THEY CHEATING WHEN YOU ASK THEM ARE THEY CHEATING OR SAY THINGS THEY DON'T LIKE SO THE NEXT THING THEY SAY I WANT A DIVORCE A HIT 🐕 DOG ALWAYS HOLLA🙄🙄🙄🙄🤔 I THINK HE IS DOING ME A FAVOR AT THIS POINT💃💃💃💃💃💃
Stop breaking your own heart by trying to make a relationship work that clearly isn't meant to work. You cant force someone to care about you. You can’t force someone to be loyal. You can't force someone to be the person you need them to be. Sometimes the person you want most is the person you are best without. Somethings are meant to happen, but just not meant to be. Somethings are meant to come into your life, but not meant to stay. Dont loose yourself by trying to mend what is meant to stay broken. You can't get the relationship you need from someone who isn’t ready to give it to you. Don’t put your happiness on hold for someone who isn’t holding on to you.
Damn i needed to read this. I have a problem of letting go. I felt like why? What did i do wrong? What can i do to fix it? I felt like I'm not good enough i feel hurt
I an so relate! . I realised this after 2 months of tears, heartbreak and hoping they would listen and try again. But sadly when they shut down and don't want to communicate and fight to save it, then it's time to let go and know you're deserving of more. To self care and love again which starts with us. To forgive ourselves first and foremost.Then to forgive them which was really hard initially. To have love for ourselves and have the cup runneth over before we can allow someone else to come in our lives again.
Communication doesn’t work with a narcissist. They will project, blame and play mind games. Quietly walk, love yourself and salvage what brain cells you have left. ✌🏽🏃🏾♀️
Correct! The NARCISSIST is the worst. Just dealt with this but strange thing, it didn't even bother me mainly because I had already left MEANTALLY. He was just a grown BOY. HE did alot of SHIFTBLAMING & GASLIGHTING. Boy 👦 bye 👋.
Love is not always romantic. Loyalty, faithfulness, integrity, responsibility, giving, also fall under the word, Love. Those that are looking to feel the endorphin high of new romance fail to realize this new thing will also get old.
You don't realize how bad bad communication is until you experience good communication. Good communication is easy. No arguing no yelling no "asking for reciprocity" just effort and receptivity
I’m shedding the baggage after 17 yes of ups, downs and more downs. Have to admit my communication was also a mess, disassemble what I thought was best and re-learn quickly. I truly believe in being receptive and reciprocating real communication💯 #alwayslearning
Yep and you're describing a relationship with a narcissist. That's exactly how they do. Everything is everyone else's fault and they're not willing to listen because they think they're always right.
The problem is for me.....too much talking and not enough action: on his end. I'm drained, tired, and I'm not even up for the fight anymore. I'm not even crying anymore, the tears aren't for him.....their for me. For all the hurt I'm putting myself through by hoping and wishing. I don't even like him anymore. My feelings aren't as invested.....along with everything else you have said. There isn't anything to be said or done. Gotta go.
Yes. We have to do what we have to do. Be willing to sit in that pain by yourself for a little while if you have to. God want you to focus on Him and self. God want you to put your trust in Him completely. God wants you to love Him with a whole heart. Once you fully love Him. You will be able to love yourself and others fully in Jesus mighty name. We pray snd say. Amen. Rest in Him. It and you will be alright. This is just a test. Trust the process. Hallelujah! Jesus.
Let God heal you this time. Don't look to no man, no other person, place, thing, or self to heal you. Look to God for true healing, deliverance, peace, love, and joy. Generational curses need to be broken. Lies from the enemy need to be destroyed. Chains need to fall off. In order for the one that God have for you to come into your life. You must let God do what need to be done. It is imperative for you, your children, and your children's children. God loves you, and so do I. Pick your head up. You are somebody. God don't and didn't make a mistake. You are beautiful just the way that you are. Now enjoy your day in JESUS name. Amen and Amen.
There shouldn't constantly be an issue in the relationship...one after another. A relationship is supposed to feel fulfilling, peaceful, supportive, kind, respectful.
When someone shows you who they are don't second guess yourself just let them go don't fight for something when your the only one fighting. God always brings someone better.
@@JasmineKayeConsults I know your pain just a couple months ago the rug was pulled out from under me from the man that I stood before God with but it's getting easier and I know that God is at my side and is taking me to places that others can't go.
I married a Narcissist 2014. ( I thought l wanted him so bad) Who tried his best destroy me. God release me 2017. I thought he would have changed by now wanting to save his marriage..nope he still have the same old mentality. That has caused him to be alone. I came in the marriage healthy.. Left the marriage broken..humiliated..physically,l now walk with a limp..emotionally abused.. God said enough! It was me trying to make it work..but it was getting worse..Thank you Lord for saving me.
Idk if it just me but I felt drained and stressful until last week I did the most rare thing of my life I didn’t even recognize myself at that moment. But me and my bf were fighting in the car and I couldn’t take it any longer to the point I almost got out the car with my legs sticking out but he pulled me back . I was shocked in myself cause not gonna lie it felt so nice just knowing jumping off was gonna ease my mind . I was crying all day because I just feel like every time I try to express my life he always switches the argument against me feeling like it’s my fault for feeling like this . Like I’ve been so calm and too nice letting him talk down to me until I had my limit of explosion. I just don’t know what to do anymore I feel crazy every time I speak cause he tries to manipulate me to thinking I said this when I know I never said that .
1) when the relationship drains you 2) when issues addressed are not being corrected 3) when you realize you’re not in love with them 4) it’s time to go when God tells you it is
Dr Frank can make your ex come back to you for a second chance. He was the one who helped me restore back my broken relationship of 3 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him.
I recently felt like things have been SO so bad that it must be a sign from God that this man is not meant for me. Like sorry. I get it LOUD AND CLEAR. Still painful because we have a daughter together but I can’t do anything else. I have tried couples therapy, i tried telling him multiple times verbally or through text so that my tone doesn’t trigger either one of us but nope. It changes temporarily and obviously its just to get me off his back and then he’s back on his BS by the next week.
Very true. I feel like if you're even wondering if you should leave the relationship then it's time. People think that breakups have been suddenly but it takes a long time for somebody to get to the point where they decide to end the relationship. For me, it was just a pattern of unhealthy stuff. Him emotionally cheating on me and having no boundaries with his ex-wife and his family was just very dysfunctional. It's not something I want to stay in.
Remove yourself from anything that is unhealthy for you 💛 do not focus your energy or time on people that aren’t serving you. You are worth more than that
It's time to let go when you're fighting in the ring by yourself! It's time to let go when your effort isn't recognized or respected. It's time to let go when communication is one-sided. It's time to let go when your stating your needs, wants, and suggesting to spend time with one another and the other person doesn't try or at best ignore your request. Just let it go. Walk away and be your own closure by just accepting that this person isn't the one at this time in your life or ever. It's ok! Let them go and let God lead you. Period!
Thank you. Anytime after you explain the reason why, and that your time is valuable...and the communication is one sided you explained to him/her that your time is as valued. It's time to let go and let God heal your heart.
I don’t think I am in love anymore I think it’s an unhealthy attachment now… there is no way I can love someone that has caused so much pain. I need to learn to LET THIS GO.
You're there because it's comfortable. It's what you know. But once you finally let go you'll feel like so much weight has lifted off of you. Married for 11 years separated for 3 of them
I'm in that same boat! 13 years of pain girl I'm like this isn't love I'm just attached but I feel weak bc I can't let go like why can't I let go it's been years! Of cheating , lies and abuse. I know I'm strong in the Lord but I told God I can't walk away it's like God has Givin me signs but I'm paralyzed
2 kids and years together. So much pain and very little pleasure. Abuse going both ways. Police. Arguing. No connection. Blame and no empathy. The past never gets let go. Its horrible. Its time
Same.. my wife ain’t shit anymore.. she prioritizes her family before me, she’s distant, she tells me even tho I work n pay all the bills that I’m still a piece of shit.. smh
You can’t carry a relationship by yourself no matter how hard you try. It’s not healthy to be with someone and be lonely, you can be lonely alone with no expectations or surprises. You control your destiny with God’s guidance.
If you no longer smile when you hear the person's name or see his face, and you've tried to talk about it more than once (and he refuses to talk about it), it's time to let go.
When ur feeling unhappy on a regular basis an start realising that you don’t love her and that she is no good for your mental health n well-being Jesus please give me the strength to walk away
As a woman, I think we all know when you should let go BUT most of the time our hearts hold on. I have learned that life is too short and I have too many goals to waste time on a man who is not willing to put into the relationship. I have learned that IF he truly loves you NOTHING in this Earth will stop him from giving his all to show you, nothing. I will NOT settle to be half loved when I am a whole woman. I refuse
If you are feeling your partner might be cheating on you, but there's no definite evidence. You're faced with two alternatives seek out the facts, or to turn a blind eye. Selecting the first choice, although often suitable in the short term, is incredibly damaging for your personally, but for your children and family, not only in the long run too. Seeking the truth out isn't simple either as I mentioned before, technology had made infidelity much easier to conceal than in the past, however it also provides opportunities for revealing getting the evidence needed to establish them & affairs. I hate cheaters, my wife never gave me a reason to be suspicious until I found her and her colleague at a romantic restaurant. she told me it was work stuff but something wasn't right. I was worried until I was introduced to this man and he get information i needed on her phone..his WhatsApp +1 (323) 212-5932
Idk who needs to hear this, but if you’re watching this you’re in the right place. It’s nearly 4AM and I’m REALLY going through it. This video described everything to a T to where it was scary. It’s time to let go. I DESERVE 👏🏾 SO👏🏾MUCH👏🏾BETTER!! And I know God will definitely help get me through it. I feel like I’ve been in the wrong place, for a long time.
If you are feeling your partner might be cheating on you, but there's no definite evidence. You're faced with two alternatives seek out the facts, or to turn a blind eye. Selecting the first choice, although often suitable in the short term, is incredibly damaging for your personally, but for your children and family, not only in the long run too. Seeking the truth out isn't simple either as I mentioned before, technology had made infidelity much easier to conceal than in the past, however it also provides opportunities for revealing getting the evidence needed to establish them & affairs. I hate cheaters, my wife never gave me a reason to be suspicious until I found her and her colleague at a romantic restaurant. she told me it was work stuff but something wasn't right. I was worried until I was introduced to this man and he get information i needed on her phone..his WhatsApp +1 (323) 212-5932
Everything you just said was on point my man. The idea comes with hurt and anger but somewhat leaves once I get to calm or try and adjust. But sometimes lately I feel more like I want to let go than I ever thought I would. Communication know matter how I go about it is never beneficial on my end. Man I can only tell her one more time I can't treat her differently than she expects to treat me. Defensive deflection is all I get no matter how I try and communicate
I’m where you were a year later can I have an update did you leave do you feel better if you left I’m married and suffering terribly but feel it’s selfish of me to leave because of our children..tmi I know
Pure facts. I told my ex when we was together that I didn’t like how he was treating me. He told me well leave then. Took me about two weeks to leave I was so hurt. I didn’t contact him for 2 months. He’s been texting lately saying he miss me and all this extra I’m not going back. I’ve moved on I deserve better. And I was feeling he didn’t treat me right for years. I pray and pray and watch motivational inspirational video in all my free time. I’m not interested in him anymore
I can definitely relate. I was with my ex for four-year it's now been two and a half years. He still calls me texting saying me how much he loves me and misses, I'm his soul mate blahhh blahh continues to do same toxic behavior. Good for you healthy healing reading and listening motivational videos help me. We are the trophies.
@@boobearam I had no choice. It was toxic. I still think off him and get sad but I stop myself and ask God to redirect my thoughts I will not be sad over someone who treated me like crap. I deserve better
When they say leave and you stay or beg them to stay they treat you worst, because they think, if you would stay after that you'll stay after anything..... living witness
* Make sure you connect physically, emotionally, and mentally. ... * Don't chase him. ... * Love yourself. ... * Take care of yourself. ... hey * Don't be a people pleaser. .. * Speak your mind.
For me the hard part isnt ending it. The hard part is giving up this routine. Its missing them laugh or missing being around them, definitely an unhealthy attachment. Ive prayed for the strength to leave because its past that time but i dont feel strong enough. I will take your advice the next time he gives me a way out i am taking it.
Summary of the video :- 1. When the relationship constantly drains you instead of energizing you 2. When the issues that have been addressed are not corrected 3. When to come to realization that you are not in love with them 4. When God tells you this. It is always better to watch the entire video 💐
The hard ones to walk away from are the ones where it isn't always bad and it's alright most of the time. But alright is not the same as growing, exploring and building together. Sometimes we just settle. I left that situation and it's the best thing ever and it freed him to find someone better for him too.
Jeez, “alright most of the time” hit home, that’s the hardest part done so much with the person invested so much time energy, and heart just to realize we can’t grow together
Hearing it from someone else makes what I feel inside even more real. I am drained by this relationship and dizzy from the roller coaster ride. I finally ended it today for all the reasons you mentioned. God Bless you.
You need good man willing show you actions n also doing simple things by send you roses , make should you have gas in your car , also take you too work , make should bills are paid !
I think i need councillor.. i dont know what to do right now. I wanted to go but something is bothering me😭😭😭 like rumor what is happening, why it is happening, i really wanted to go already unhealthy😭😭😭
We confuse love with a lot of things & end up in situations we should have never entertained in the first place! Thank you for this valuable information.
Absolutely true. This is why sex before is not a good idea. It’s blinding. Also when we don’t listen to our intuition about the person and end up with the wrong person.
@Lisa's Classy Hair and Face of course. A few things I considered were are you being loved properly and what has been accumulated since you two have been together. That will tell you a lot about the relationship & if its working or not.
I adressed the problem before walking away, try to call him for clarification and he avoid my calls, then pretend his phone was bugging lol. I had to see it for what it was; a RED flag. Fix my crown, and walk away.
I tried calling him to address the issue.. But his not making an effort to talk things out.. Instead, his avoiding me! or anything to do with me.. After seeing all that I hard to let go.
@@victorinerhodes9220 he made is point by saying his parents want him to go back to his baby mama... And accept here back to his.. At the age of 35, your parents making decisions for him.. His still needs to grow up.. To me his not mature enough to make his own decisions.. I had to walk away.. I'm too good enough for sure.. He loses.
He has said so much, he actually recently said “you take my words to seriously just let it go”… he’s called me fat, ugly, I say I love you to much, can’t ask him about his day cause that’s jealously, if I fave time him I’m being jealous … so so so so much… cheating on top of these words… idk what else to do to fix this with him
I’ve been very attached to the woman I was last with in every aspect. Lot of time was invested and energy that it was hard to let Brianna go. Hardest part was having to walk away. It left me emotionally drained. Having a person you could lean on in hard times was comforting for me. Broke up took a big chunk outta my heart. But once I was told “I’m not in love you anymore”and she was no longer feeling me anymore. I didn’t listen to the fact if she wasn’t willing to work me let her go.. I was being stubborn. I think it wasn’t love it was a unhealthy attachment. Since my emotions was involved it was harder to let go. Sadly this is gonna be another healing process for me. The biggest thing I always lack is a lack of wisdom and obedience. I tell myself ima lean on God but when a situation gets hard I fail to do it. I need to do better one way or another.
I really needed to hear this today. My heart hurts but my blessings are being blocked being where I'm not supposed to be, with the wrong person who isn't ready for what I bring to the table and offer and give him. It hurts when people don't see your value....
Yes I’m going through the same thing. Now that the smoke has worn off, I’m looking at it like what the hell was I thinking? He lied, cheated and acted a fool.. and I stayed like the biggest fool ever. I worked on myself .. looking and feeling better and now he is begging me to not leave him.. but besides all of that I’m seeing that he does not deserve all that I bring to the table nor can he handle it.. we are not equally yoked but somehow I feel bad for him. It really is time to let go. It’s so hard but have too
I hate that you are going through that. Lord knows I am too. To constantly feel so defeated trying to make something work after years and years. Knowing that I am not alone in dealing with this helps and gives me courage to find a way out of this
HEY LADIES!! I think it’s time to leave a relationship when you start to notice you are loosing who you are .. for example, when you notice that the things you usto love start to disappear , that’s a automatic sign to leave him .. because if you don’t leave the relationship it will only get worst .. LADIES REMEMBER PUT YOURSELF FIRST ♥️
Yes this is true I considered suicide instead of leaving....only God brought me out of those thoughts and see the truth that living alone is better than dying. That he didn't bring me here to go out like that. That he wants me to forgive myself first.
I recently left a relationship that constantly made me feel sad, drained and sick to my stomach. My anxiety levels were through the roof and I was taking medication thinking it was my head that was messing with me. I often communicated what I felt and the issues that I had, but my ex wasn’t good at communicating and was emotionally immature. He would often change his stance on the relationship, which made me feel insecure and I often felt drained because I had to keep reassuring him that I wasn’t this selfish person that him and his family were painting me out to be. After I left the relationship, I started to feel this inner peace and my physical sickness went away. Turns out I didn’t have anything. My body was literally telling me to leave this situation. Stephan is right, a relationship shouldn’t make you feel this way. If you feel like this and you have constantly communicate the issues that you are experiencing but nothing changes and you still feel sick, leave the relationship. Somehow our bodies know when we are with the wrong person. Good luck
Definitely! Draining relationship turn you completely to something you are not & u will not understand until you get yourself out of it! My ex never thought there was anything wrong with him until I walked away; then he started begging after after a ur later when I gained myself back & he was struggling!! Never compromise your mental health!! Thanks for sharing!😘😘👍🏻
Stayed after seeing the red flags and forgave him soo many times because he "loves" me but the fact is if it was me doing to him what he did to me he wouldn't had stay and forgive me the first time. Now I know better
i did same thing with my ex girlfriend. forgave her . she came back apologizing after a year. i accepted it and hoped on a reconciliation but shes playing games. so im done with giving her my time of day. she will learn she lost a good one.
I knew my first marriage was over years before I finally divorced. I stayed longer than I should have in fear of judgment. But I got the courage to do it!
My x partner refused to communicate with me and then would get pissed when I would get upset because I felt ghosted. He always made everything my fault. I am happy to take responsibility for my faults, but I am not 100% at fault.
love is life, there's no love without happiness and there's no happiness without love, I want to recommend you to someone that helped me restore my broken relationship in less than 7 days...
Yes, you are correct and I agree. When we set the cart before the horse, we end up in these situations. God is not glorified though a toxic marriage and it portrays a bad reflection of his covenant.
@@princess-fn3kw Then the same God that can heal of cancer and comes through for his children in so many ways can change the heart of a man once we release that person to him. The awesomeness of God is that he is the God of the impossible and can turn around a 'bad marriage' for his honour and glory.
You don't choose to STAY together for your kids. You choose to LOVE eachother for your kids. Love is a choice, not a feeling. Its what we choose. And it's our responsibility to get our heart and mind ready and primed to choose love over and over.. no matter how we feel.
It took me three years but I was finally able to accept that the relationship was over with my ex... I spent so many nights crying myself to sleep because he dismissed me and my concerns, ignored me and invalidated my emotions. When it came time to set a timeline for an engagement he made every excuse in the book. No thanks..... goodbye.
If you are feeling your partner might be cheating on you, but there's no definite evidence. You're faced with two alternatives seek out the facts, or to turn a blind eye. Selecting the first choice, although often suitable in the short term, is incredibly damaging for your personally, but for your children and family, not only in the long run too. Seeking the truth out isn't simple either as I mentioned before, technology had made infidelity much easier to conceal than in the past, however it also provides opportunities for revealing getting the evidence needed to establish them & affairs. I hate cheaters, my wife never gave me a reason to be suspicious until I found her and her colleague at a romantic restaurant. she told me it was work stuff but something wasn't right. I was worried until I was introduced to this man and he get information i needed on her phone..his WhatsApp +1 (323) 212-5932
@@deathmetal7624 if I didn’t then I would still be with him… waiting and hoping. I’m glad I left and all women need to set time limits and have boundaries.
If you are feeling your partner might be cheating on you, but there's no definite evidence. You're faced with two alternatives seek out the facts, or to turn a blind eye. Selecting the first choice, although often suitable in the short term, is incredibly damaging for your personally, but for your children and family, not only in the long run too. Seeking the truth out isn't simple either as I mentioned before, technology had made infidelity much easier to conceal than in the past, however it also provides opportunities for revealing getting the evidence needed to establish them & affairs. I hate cheaters, my wife never gave me a reason to be suspicious until I found her and her colleague at a romantic restaurant. she told me it was work stuff but something wasn't right. I was worried until I was introduced to this man and he get information i needed on her phone..his WhatsApp +1 (323) 212-5932
I believe that it's time to let go when respect for each other is gone. Also, it's time to let go when either person no longer has a vision with the other person happy and healthy in it.
I agree 100 percent. I was in a relationship and all he did was take, take, take, he could not communicate at all, hold on to his toxic past and I was his emotional punching bag, he was always right, blame everyone for his bad past, lack affection. Simply put he is a narcissist. He drained everything out of me. I was so unhappy, I had to come to the realization that my life his yo short to be putting up with this asshole. I let him go and never look back. I don't speak to him at all. My peace of mind is way to important to continue with such a toxic man.
Number 1 hit hard. Don't stay if your partner exhausts you, especially if it's been going on for months or years and it's been addressed before. I didn't realize before how much of an impact an exhausting relationship can have on the other aspects of your life.
Huge impact on health (suffering from sicknesses, high blood pressure, infections so frequently), lack of sleep, fear in interaction with your partner and others and not feeling like yourself anymore, worse performance at work and in hobbies... Yep I'm there and still it's so hard to break up. I did but we are still in contact and it's not healthy but we are both so sad, we are believing in a fantasy that might never have been there.
Bro my health i suffering 🥲im a positive love to be productive to feel good but i feel so lost even tho it been a year since ive been single it seems some days some random memory pops up and u remember you will never have that moments again .Me and my girl broke up cause of her moving and lack of communication
@@JakeJones123 stay strong bro I know how u feel especially when u feel like u changing not in a good way .that’s why never put someone nr 1 only your mother it she’s a good mother cause I swear in this world you only have your self people come and go and these memories stay but we gotta move on
Why do I feel this was my sign from god ? I prayed as soon as I woke up this morning for my relationship of 9 years ; Then I come across this video . (Thank you you sir ) You are definitely a child of God 🙏.
After 27 years of marriage we have grown apart and now we are like just roommates, we still love one another but we are not in love with each other. We recently decided that our season is over. We never had kids so I guess it makes it easier and less complicated. After so many years dealing with each other it makes you numb, and parting ways is much easier than I thought it would be. Your video is spot on, thank you very much for the insight.
*Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back💔💔 again my ex is back to me with love and we are happily together I got help from a great man 💔❤️(Dr okonofaus). He can bring your ex back*
Communication, trust, and all of that is necessary to obtain a healthy relationship. But if only one person have those traits, and the other person don't have it. The relationship still won't go anywhere. And at that point, the healthy minded individual have to learn to walk away to protect their own sanity and safety in Jesus name. Amen.
Can not date a woman with poor communication skills...At All. That's actually my 1st requirement. IJS. And that's literally most ppl...so yeah, when I find that out, I always immediately kick em to the curb. FR
Lord please bless us all. We are not the things others say we are. Hold us accountable for the truths and wrongs we have done in our lives and allow peace to enter our homes.
Thank you. I am beginning a journey Nov 5th. I am going to be still. Quiet. Listen. Pray. Meditate. I am removing politics, social media, cocktails, puffs, dating apps, toxic relationships from my life. For 6 months I am going to explore inner peace, kindness, healing, loving, laughing, crying, letting go of my life's trauma. Alone. Embrace my feminine energy, my grounded mother earth. In my stillness and quiet, emerge the woman I was always meant to be. I enjoy your views and look forward to being inspired by your platform! Thank you.🙏
Omg you sound like me. I have been doing the same. Most men on these apps seem to only want sex and jump from one woman to the next. Also, its to many folks who want to be in your business. Im over it.
Yessssssss!! We're on the exact same page..been off of social media for a month. I'm choosing to evolve, love on myself even more, embrace my OWN ENERGY! I feel so much lighter.
Happy for you me I'm still in an abusive relationship waiting to get back my money i spend on him there's no day i don't shed tears thinking of my time waisted
Important truth is that a healthy relationship takes 2 committed people. When one walks away, as painful as it is.. pray for them and let them Go if u really Love them. Life can be difficult but having someone in it that doesn't want you is worse. Healing & being truthful is so important. Thank you for this video🙂
I just ended a relationship two days ago due to the things you just shared in this video. There is a real love between us but we were simply too incompatible. I was super drained. I was tired of the emotional rollercoasters. It felt like I was moving through the living mud insted of air. It just wasn't right. He has a good heart but he is fundamentaly unreliable person due to the fact his words don't match his actions. I always had this feeling he was covertly self-sabotaging. He just kept making the wrong moves. Because to him in his mind I deserve someone much better. And it ended up being so. I do deserve better than what I was given. But still, I am someone who has history of sacrifing myself instead of hurting someone else. And this time I had to do it. I had to choose me no matter how hard it was. Having to break his heart by leaving him it was emotionally super intense and super hard. Intellectuallty, I know I did what was right for the both of us in the long run. But emotionally... it was horrible. I just wish choosing oneself and choosing the right thing wasn't as hard as it sometimes is, emotionally.
WOW! This is EXACTLY what I'm dealing with now. I broke it off with my boyfriend of almost 4 years and its been SO hard. We live together which of course makes it even that much harder. There was too much bickering over little things, we really didn't understand each other(more him not me) or got along though I love him as a person. It got to the point it felt like roommates, we were friends. But man is it hard to have to cut the chord so to say. I am SO done emotionally. Couldn't do it anymore like you. very very tough decision but Im glad I made it. Hope you are well and all is going in your favor!
@@seasy7 - I am sorry you had to go through a relationship that was ment to end. It is never easy. But... use it to grow. Identify all the things within yourself that needed that kind of relationship so your self-awsreness can come to be and expand. Dive deep within. Do some serious and honest soul sesrching. Find all the important angles and aspects that allowed and created that particular dynamic and outcome. And then with what you discover - do not use it to self-abuse with it. By any means. Don't use it to perpetuate or worsen your self-image. Instead allow it to inform you about all the places and directions you need yet to grow in. And then heal. One by one. Just please don't waste the experience. Or misuse it to be unkind snd unloving to yourself. Use it as a fuel to create something much better. Use it to create a better you. (And remember no matter how hard it may feel now -it will get better.)
@@Missfit75 - Thank you Karen! For sharing of your story and for the well wishes. ☺ I am glad to hear you are at peace with your decision as well. ☺ I honestly believe relationships should enrich our life and not drain us to death. And if that is the case they are simply not worth the price. My ex is a wonderful human and I love him deeply but my life taught me that unfortunately love itself is not enough to have a successful healthy lasting relationship. So many things have to align on top of that raw heart to heart connection.... But I am glad we both had enough clarity to discern what was right and then willingness and determination and strength to actually do it. I just pray that one day we also get to discover what it is like to finally end up with the Man God has for us. What a beautifull blessing that will be. ☺
I just ended our relationship two days ago. He also stated that "I deserve better"...in the meantime, he began doing things that he knew would push my buttons, stupid lies that came easily be defunct...doing things that he knew would cause me to react negatively....OK SINCE YOU REFUSE TO MAKE THE NECESSARY ADJUSTMENTS TO REPAIR OUR RELATIONSHIP ....I GOTTA GO TADAY!!!!
@cesselboyd-lewis What about if your married, and have been verbally abused and physically intimidated by your spouse. And have kids.?? for the bible says -Malachi 2:16 " For i hate divorce "
@@tysonlynch2511 (1) God hates a lot of things. Lying, stealing, killing, being a false witness, lust, greed, etc. Divorce is no different. God hates the things that person is doing to the spouse. It doesn't sound like that abusive spouse is living according to God's word. Sounds like that person doesn't really have a relationship with God. We can't pick and choose parts of the Bible, we have to live by all of it. There wouldn't be any abuse if that spouse you speak of is truly submitted to God. We can't put God's stamp of approval on our mess.
@Cessel Boyd-Lewis I have a question for you what if you have had a very unsupportive partner through not one but two back to back pregnancies? Like I was even committed into a mental hospital during this current pregnancy after being diagnosed with major depressive disorder PTSD and antepartum. Yet my partner continues to tell me how I am extra, I don’t make HIM happy and he is depressed even dealing with me? Is that a partner I should stay with? God has now given us two beautiful children and I wanna make a family work but I 100% feel anger and resentment towards this man for not even supporting me in the way I have needed through these most difficult times. Such as feeling suicidal and crazy and actually cutting myself up from antidepressants too not feeling connected to the baby in my belly and then to hear I’m not doing enough in our relationship is draining. It feels like a slap in the face. Like I’m taking care of our toddler and growing our next child my body nor my mind has had a break and we lack trust in our relationship due to his dishonesty. But I’m not doing enough but being crazy and causing him trauma. Is this okay? Why would god bless us with children and yet I feel so alone from this world and god?
@@shanrock3000 I'm so sorry that you that you are experiencing this. Have you two tried marriage counseling? Was he supportive before you got pregnant and then just stopped?
Never realized how bad my lack of communication was during disagreements until I saw this video and the comment section. Initially, I came to make myself feel better and how to manage a fresh breakup. Made me think how I really lost a good man for my immaturity and never unlearning those toxic traits I learned throughout my past relationships. Wish I could’ve just listened instead of retaliating and trying to prove that I was always right. My heart aches but I guess I was holding him back. I just hope I can heal and become a better person. Maybe someday we will cross paths again. 💔
@Stephanie I believe we have all been guilty of this. We learn from it and do better next time. Pray for guidance and ask the Lord to heal you. God bless you!
You should reach out and say you’re sorry. Just know he might reject you at first but if you love the man forget your pride a bit. Humbleness is a beautiful virtue.
Yes sis .. because it don’t stop it will going on forever ... once you leave that relationship watch how God manifest his self in your life ... hope all is well ♥️
Over 20 years ago. My ex husband who is the father of our daughter. The Most High delivered me out of abusive marriage. I was abused mentally, verbally, spiritually, emotionally and physically. He was controlling and possessive. I cried unto the Most High to help me. He showed me in the dream I will move back to my hometown with the toddler which is the daughter of my ex husband. I left everything behind. The Most High blessed me and my daughter. I divorced her father August 2000. I'm thankful for deliverance from the Most High👑📖🙏🏾
As someone who just broke up with my boyfriend of two years (10yrs of friendship), don’t wait! If the feeling isn’t there, it isn’t there. Move on and don’t linger like I did hoping it will somehow magically change. My biggest lesson learned is that YOU CAN’T CHANGE HIM!!! He has to change himself and be confident in himself. How can he possibly take care of you, when he can’t trust even himself? I felt more like his mother than a girlfriend. I kept wishing he would grow in his confidence. Gain some new hobbies. Get a real job. But it wasn’t happening- I was enabling him. Hopefully he’ll see the breakup as a wake up call, but it’s no longer my problem and I feel freer than ever! :) Know your worth ladies and gentlemen.
Love is not an emotion. It is something we do. Not something we feel. If you want to find love, find someone who is willing to make an effort at a relationship. Not just being in one, and waiting for some magical feeling to make it perfect. That’s lust and the excitement of getting to know someone new. After that wears off, all you have left is communication and effort. Where there is no communication or effort, there is no love. People are too driven by movie love story and assume is going to really happen in reality. It won’t. Love is work. Constant effort. By both people involved.
Yes sis! Love is action oriented. It is what one partner decides to do for their significant other in order for them to be content and make the union work overall. Love is not only a feeling. Take for example couples whom may not necessarily like one another’s quirks after many years of marriage or dating one another. They certainly will not wake up every day with the feeling of love, as time passes that initial feeling in the beginning of the relationship “wears off” after a few years of becoming familiar with one another. The human brain can not possibly hold on to that rushing adrenaline feeling that one produces in the initial stages of dating. However, they do love one another and nevertheless, make conscious efforts to make the relationship work :)
@trinabritton917 I also feel God is talking to me through this video, I had this video on queue when I went to bed, it was like the 10th video to play, I kid you not my subconscious mind woke me up from sleep to listen to this video like 200am....
In tears 😭 all I can say is thank you, and thank God for the wisdom He’s given you to give to us. I Soooooo needed this today. As hard as it maybe I know what I need to do.
Watching this video is a clear indication that is time or getting close!. Never get comfortable, love doesn't hurt in any way. When you have to think if its over... Its over.... When you ask your partner if they love you, you are not being loved, most of all if the intimacy is lacking, baby it is draining or over! If anyone in your life doesn't make any effort to communicate,compromise, or change for the better IT IS TIME TO GO
Dr Frank can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him.....
Dr Frank can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him.....
I agree with the topic of divorce. God knew I wanted to honor Him and not leave even tho my marriage was beyond toxic. He allowed Satan to use my husband to lie, cheat, and steal from me and he also had another baby without me knowing about (but God revealed it to me) so after that my mindset changed agree to a divorce that he already filed without me knowing! I’d never thought that someone could be so cruel and evil but he wasn’t meant for me. I’m too good for him and he added nothing but misery to my life. But now, with much prayer/fasting God has done the absolute impossible. Bought a house, found another job, finishing my masters degree, starting a side-hustle business, majority custody of our son and peace that surpasses all human understanding...all while going thru a pandemic! Won’t He do it🙌🏾
The god part where you say to listen to him and talk to him , hit me hard . I totally agree. I’ve been giving signs to walk away but keep coming back then I got spiritually in tune with myself and I ask god to remove anything and anyone that’s is not good for me or show me signs to know that it’s time for me to walk away and he did and I’m doing what god has told me to do ! To live for myself and to learn to love myself ❤
Bruh.. I feel like a sinner in church hearing this.. you hittin me with truth haymakers.. I'm struggling while being the one that has decided to end my 15 year marriage. This is the toughest thing I've ever had to do. Thank you for taking the time to help us with your perspective. It's definitely hard to hear but I needed this today.
Yes, many of us are Christians that love God and want be in the right standing. After all his lies and cheating and destruction. I know now we are not equally yoked. He loves his sin more than God. I forgive❤️ and forgave much after 30+ years, but I don’t have to stay. God has a different path for me. Thank you 🙏 be blessed
@@ajacobo72You could be my wife speaking about me. I have been that person you speak of. It’s tough to admit this because I blamed her for my behavior. I know that is twisted but, I’ve got to be honest, I should’ve asked God for more help beforehand. I feel terrible for putting her through this. Our separation is a blessing for her and I pray for her peaceful healing 😢 I do love her still but God is in control, thankfully!
Yes!! Please, need this. How to know it's not your soul mate when you really feel it is, BEFORE he destroys you, and how to heal quickly for the right one if you suffer such a misfortune.
I developed narcissistic personality disorder after sustaining childhood damage by not a single parent home but a rollercoaster style dysfunctional two parent home. I believe was not able to psychologically separate from my mother and become an individual, creating this disorder as a result, perpetuating all of these unhealthy attachments this gentleman is speaking of as an adult. It's a defense against abandonment. I think I plays out like "if my partner is in my mind all the time she can never abandon me". Abandonment for me feels like jump out of your skin existential terror, it's life or death. So I'm invested in the fantasy of the relationship, because this disorder that has taken over my personality that i hold onto with every fiber of my being renders me incapable of seeing her as separate person with wants and needs.
Focus on you... your giving her the power by always thinking. I know it’s really hard. I’m going though a one sided love and it sucks ... but focus on loving yourself and giving all the energy to yourself!! I believe you can do it!!!
@Lonewolf99 I feel you on this man. I'm in the same boat and my ex dumped me right before covid hit. I felt like all I did was shower her with love, affection, attention, and care but it wasn't being reciprocated back. Honestly, I understand how you feel but like @Stephan Speaks said, you got to heal. I need to heal myself. I darkened my heart after my ex gf(not just because of her but MAINLY because I'm tired of disingenuous men and women). I closed myself off. It's a scary dark place and you don't want to get real deep in it. I get you want to focus getting financially stable or extremely wealthy or rich, but don't let your heart be over shrouded in darkness where you lose the light within you.
I really can relate to this, I have written, I have had meaningful conversations explaining how draining the relationship was to me. For over two months... yet there was no change. Just a bunch of excuses. We have been together about 8 months, and I realised I was not growing. I made up my mind and ended the relationship only yesterday. The horrid things I had to hear over the last 24 hours has proved to me I made the right decision. I had to archive his messages just not to read the toxic messages.
It's hard to walk away when one has invested seven years in a relationship. But what should we insit on concerning this soul ties, non growth relationship!!!
If you are feeling your partner might be cheating on you, but there's no definite evidence. You're faced with two alternatives seek out the facts, or to turn a blind eye. Selecting the first choice, although often suitable in the short term, is incredibly damaging for your personally, but for your children and family, not only in the long run too. Seeking the truth out isn't simple either as I mentioned before, technology had made infidelity much easier to conceal than in the past, however it also provides opportunities for revealing getting the evidence needed to establish them & affairs. I hate cheaters, my wife never gave me a reason to be suspicious until I found her and her colleague at a romantic restaurant. she told me it was work stuff but something wasn't right. I was worried until I was introduced to this man and he get information i needed on her phone..his WhatsApp +1 (323) 212-5932
At 42 years old and starting over I recently filed for a divorce from a lady because I thought I was in love but I knew 6 months in I wasn't... so what this brother is saying is on point 100% agree. Much love brother!!!
This was so needed. After 12 years of marriage, I am completely drained by never being able to express myself without my husband yelling and getting defensive. It is exhausting and I have held on for our boys but I feel miserable, unloved, dismissed, and misunderstood constantly. It is time to walk away from this.
The grass is definitely not greener on the other side. You are lucky if that is your main complaint. Love your family and your life. Don’t let the internet confuse you and trick you out of a good man.
Do it before the next world crisis-- the great recession, covid...what eye openers those have been. My son's now old enough to grasp the situation and know it's not good. 😮
Wow this man is hitting every single thought that is going on in my head , and making me realise I’ve been lying to myself and not putting myself first and keeping myself healthy Thank you Stephen
Absolutely! My parents have been divorced for 20 years and when they were married, they were constantly arguing and fighting. People got involved when they weren’t supposed to and it was so toxic for me and my brother. For years, I realize that them getting divorced was probably the best thing to happen because we knew that they can’t be together! As a child dealing with that, I felt the pain and I learned from it and hope to not ever repeat it! Hurting kids from a toxic relationship isn’t fun. I experienced it first hand. Thank you for this video Stephan. 🙏🏼
Robert Drake I hear you! It makes you stronger but also hurts in some ways. I remember my mom refusing to come to events because my dad was going to be there and didn’t even invite him to my sweet 16. When my dads family would give out gifts, my mom would hide them in spite thinking she was hurting my dad and his family when she was really hurting me and my brother. Of course, I love both my parents equally but unfortunately, my mom tried to destroy me and my brothers relationship with our dad but she failed. You can’t be prideful thinking you won’t hurt your kids by acting spiteful but you do in the long run.
Ooh you are spot on about toxic parental relationships. I grew up in an abusive household where my dad beat my mama (which is thee most extreme level of toxic). I just remember being about 7 or 8yo, and my mother asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I specifically told her at that tender age "A DIVORCE FROM DADDY"! My point being: kids know, see, hear, and experience the emotional turmoil that people/ parents insist is hidden. My mother divorced my father when I was 12 and we couldn't have been more ecstatic. She was glowing, lost weight, became very social, always traveling. My mother is 52 rn and she seriously looks 30 by living a liberated stress free, nontoxic lifestyle with nontoxic people in her space. My dad was very dangerous and extremely spiteful as well too much to list.
@Robert Drake thanks for acknowledging. It gets way deeper, so much so that my family could write novels with more series than one's favorite Netflix show. Toxic Parents shouldn't do the kids a disservice by staying together is the main point of it all.
@Robert Drake Let's break the chains ⛓ 🙌 my guy... we gotta do it for our sanity and emotional health for future generations to come as well. I don't take no bs as an adult that's for sure a trait that I can thank daddy for, but I left that toxicity with him or I quickly check myself lol like get your sh together woman.
