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Lifestyles of the Lewd & Gypsophilous 

Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
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At 6,000 feet in Nuevo León we see a community of plants that grow on the sediments if a Cretaceous Ocean in a seasonally dry climate. The plant diversity of this area is rich. We see entire hillsides composed of gypsum dominated by palm trees (Brahea dulcis) and strange dwarf oaks. We also see a very bizarre flower (#Aristolochia secunda) that's pollinated by fungus gnats, as well as a silvery blue fern (Notholaena bryopoda) and a gypsum endemic member of the Hydrangea family (Fendlerella lasiopetala).
Your contributions support this content. It sounds clichéd, but it's true. Whether it's travel expenses, vehicle repair, or medical costs for urushiol poisoning (or rockfalls, beestings, hand slices, toxic sap, etc), your financial support allows this content to continue so the beauty of Earth's flora can be made accessible to the rest of us in the degenerate public. At a time when so much is disappearing beneath the human footprint, CPBBD is willing to do whatever it takes to document these plant species and the ecological communities they are a part of before they're gone for good.
Plants make people feel good. Plants quell homicidal (and suicidal!) thoughts. To support Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't, consider donating a few bucks to the venmo account "societyishell" or the PayPal account email crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt@gmail.com...
Or consider becoming a patreon supporter @ :
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Buy some CPBBD merch (shirts, hats, hoodies n' what the shit) available for sale at :
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To purchase stickers, venmo 15 bucks to "societyishell" and leave your address in the comments.
Plants ID questions or reading list suggestions can be sent to crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt@gmail.com
Thanks, GFY.

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26 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 213   
@k33k32
@k33k32 2 года назад
You are maybe not the David Attenborough we expected; but definitely the David Attenborough we need. Thanks for showing us this cool habitat!
@carsongarnett1700
@carsongarnett1700 2 года назад
Either way this man spittin facts
@gmccrate
@gmccrate Год назад
Preach!
@AdrianHepburn-vz9yr
@AdrianHepburn-vz9yr Год назад
@@gmccrate He is right! This guy is awesome show some respect!
@Karadek
@Karadek 2 года назад
Always like the connections you make between the underlying bedrock/exposed formations and the plants that live on them.
@GcTheHardstyler
@GcTheHardstyler 2 года назад
As a cacti collector... I totally agree. It's nice to have these things in a fancy pot looking all nice, but I'd rather what I have in my fancy pots be harvested and grown ethically in a way that doesn't rob the ecosystems, and if a plant is so rare that the only way to own it is to poach it from its natural habitat then I don't want it and I don't want anyone else to have it, just don't. Leave it where it is, don't f with it. I'm totally with you my dude.
@eric-qx1us
@eric-qx1us 2 года назад
I agree one hundo. Bisides it ain't like ya can't go get the seeds from some Japanese distributor or somthin, it takes a real mook to strip the desert andwhathaveyou for the kids.
@xPumaFangx
@xPumaFangx 2 года назад
Here's the thing. I don't want any cacti. I want berries. We have perfectly good mulberries bushes. Growing right next to my home. Family hates them. Something about roots too deep. Now I go off and buy blue berries bushes. What do they do. They plant it in a pot and leave it indoors. I'm all like wtf.
@emmitstewart1921
@emmitstewart1921 2 года назад
There are lots of responsible ways to collect cacti and succulents and any other type of plant. If the plant is so rare or endangered that the only way to have one is to poach it, leave it where it is. Almost any rare plant is available from a reputable nursery where it has been grown under conditions that produce a healthier plant which is much better adapted to cultivation. Better yet is to get responsibly collected seeds from reputable growers. Growing from seed takes a lot longer, but you get plants that are adapted to your garden from the start. No matter how big your greenhouse is, bench space is at a premium, and your time is even more valuable. Why waste it on wild collected plants that are a gamble whether they will even survive for a full season?
@emmitstewart1921
@emmitstewart1921 2 года назад
@@eric-qx1us You don't even have to go to Japan for seeds. I've ordered seeds from England, Australia, Italy, Spain, Israel, and Ukraine. The only place I hesitate to order from is China. There are even places in South Africa.
@k33k32
@k33k32 2 года назад
I wish there was a monetary connection between purchasing a wild-collected plant and a habitat protection area for that species
@zlaynie
@zlaynie 2 года назад
I identified too hard with the "friend" that always looks like shit but somehow perseveres... I love hearing your thoughts on shame and self growth. I feel them lolol
@peterashby-saracen3681
@peterashby-saracen3681 2 года назад
Huge appreciation from a plant addict in the south of Spain - I just discovered your channel yesterday and I'm hooked. You, sir, should be declared an international treasure. I'm learning ten times more from this than I would from some stuffy, erudite lecture or some dull documentary that skims over all the interesting little stuff and lacks the passion that you put into every step. The way you communicate the whole picture - geology, climate, plant relationships - is spot on. Boy, would I love to go plant hunting with you! What an awesome area too. People simply don't appreciate the sheer diversity of ecosystems on this planet. Great to see that Aristolochia: there's a native one here, A. baetica (I have one on the terrace) but it's a vigorous climber - what a diverse genus. The philosophising just fits in perfectly too.
@liamwhite4895
@liamwhite4895 2 года назад
‘Some creepy knob’s greenhouse’ is the best line I’ve heard in a botany video. Thank you.
@bumbleguppy
@bumbleguppy 2 года назад
An older neighbor mentioned she's removing some hybrid roses as it's harder to tend them for her now and I just casually dropped a hint that the native roses we have are low maintenance, she should try those...I'm a subversive thanks to you, Joey
@Wyowanderer
@Wyowanderer 2 года назад
I LOVE that my favorite Botanist struggles with his residual Catholic guilt. I'm never disappointed when I watch your videos.
@oncelercanfly1974
@oncelercanfly1974 3 месяца назад
I second this statement
@sswwooppee
@sswwooppee 2 года назад
These videos give me my f’n zen back.
@charleshash4919
@charleshash4919 2 года назад
Gneiss!!! Gypsum covered with pointy plants!
@Jimsimi
@Jimsimi 2 года назад
Maybe I'm wrong but I think anyone that collects cactus and really cares about them would feel the same way as you and understand what you're saying, and the ones who get offended probably should be offended because they probably are mindlessly/superficially interested in them, maybe the jabs will help them consider that. I don't know, what I'm saying is I get why you care and it's good that you do because being overly aggressive will just lock people down, but also don't worry too much as you're not being rude to anyone that wouldn't benefit from a little reality check. Love what you do man, spreading awareness, sharing nature, teaching, and making people laugh, you're a legend.
@LukeMcGuireoides
@LukeMcGuireoides 2 года назад
Nicely said
@katiekane5247
@katiekane5247 2 года назад
Damned if you guys didn't find some bangers again. We got some native Aristolochia in the SE, critical for a swallowtail as a larval food. I put a Passiflora in but still looking for a pipe-vine. I appreciate your content Joey, thanks.
@kittyg6298
@kittyg6298 2 года назад
That you ruminate on shame and guilt and making others feel bad because of your comments makes me like you even more. You are empathic and self-aware!
@Latnman101
@Latnman101 2 года назад
I just love listening to your narration.
@GrumblingGrognard
@GrumblingGrognard 2 года назад
Do three Hail Mary's and a shot of mescal. You upload is greatness, as always. Do not stop.
@b0tanica
@b0tanica 2 года назад
Thanks to you I feel like I get to botanize around the world.
@sirthicenskoorb3684
@sirthicenskoorb3684 2 года назад
So you left wonderful Oakland, CA. Made it out alive. Good for you. Keep doing what you love to do.
@bobbiechinn9578
@bobbiechinn9578 Год назад
I love ur vids and ur jabs lol. The intensity of the color of those blooms! I can stare at those all day. Thanks again! U always teach me something.
@metafuel
@metafuel 2 года назад
Hi Tony. I'm really impressed with your camera work and audio. Specifically as I believe you're only using a phone. I struggle to zoom into tiny flowers and insects. You are an inspiration.
@herbbirdsfoot
@herbbirdsfoot 2 года назад
That camera might have a phone, but it ain’t no phone.
@extropiantranshuman
@extropiantranshuman 2 года назад
I have a samsung tablet - those zoom in automatically when you use the camera - and you can even click on the screen to have it zoom where you want it. Better than other youtubers that have to move in front of the screen for that.
@mecynogea
@mecynogea 2 года назад
I do love Tillandsia usneoides when it hangs from any Pinus species really. Yes I absolutely do love watching the pine needles wave in the wind.
@kenhunt2861
@kenhunt2861 2 года назад
“Residual Catholic guilt” made me laugh out loud. I totally get it. Me, Catholic school K through 12. I will always be in recovery. You’re a good man, Joey, and your vid’s continue to be awesome! As u r.
@cervandotorres1126
@cervandotorres1126 2 года назад
Gracias por enseñarme sobre la flora de mi natal Galeana ❤ PD. Espero que visites el Cerro del Potosí
@Lazy_Fish_Keeper
@Lazy_Fish_Keeper Год назад
Living in Mexico was definitely the best thing to help me remember what it means to be human. Not sure how much things have changed since 1992-1993 when I was there...... Beautiful country, beautiful people, delicious food and amazing plants.
@Joey-vw1id
@Joey-vw1id 2 года назад
It's not boring to me, I love desert botany. You do a good job with the description of all the desert plants! I have an indoor desert garden in my house, I really have an obsession with succulents, cactus,lythops etc.. Keep up the great work my friend..
@andrewhorwood1058
@andrewhorwood1058 2 года назад
We have big white gypsum outcrops in Nova Scotia, Canada too, but with very different species growing on them, of course.
@averybutler
@averybutler 2 года назад
This is a fantastic channel
@PenntuckytheCrag
@PenntuckytheCrag 2 года назад
Certainally a beautiful local ! Special. So beautiful
@AdrianHepburn-vz9yr
@AdrianHepburn-vz9yr Год назад
Hands down BEST BOTANY CHANNEL on the internet! Subbed up to my eyeballs.
@suzu9404
@suzu9404 2 года назад
14:24 “A phalanx of biznagas” got a solid laugh out of me. Not sure why, but I giggled.
@gaywizard2000
@gaywizard2000 2 года назад
When we had cacti at a greenhouse I once worked at I used to yell out at the staff "Careful! Don't get a big prick!" I thought it was funny, most people maybe don't tho.
@user-ey5sg3jb1j
@user-ey5sg3jb1j 2 года назад
I am very interested in cactus. It is so good to know the environment of its native place. I hope to add information about the weather and temperature especially when it rains. Thank.
@alandonaly457
@alandonaly457 2 года назад
You did really good this time I love seeing new(to me) plants, especially the cacti.
@Gsplash420
@Gsplash420 2 года назад
I seriously could watch ur videos all day you make the subject matter very interesting and you make me laugh like actually laugh out loud the whole time keep it up this RU-vid shit is gonna be a gold mine for you one day
@pamappleby1400
@pamappleby1400 2 года назад
That aristolochia secunda is a banger! Thank you to Alan for spotting such a surprising find!
@stevieandsara
@stevieandsara 2 года назад
Nice Aristolochia find!!!!
@Heothbremel
@Heothbremel 2 года назад
Informative and beautiful xD what a combo!
@SirBoden
@SirBoden 2 года назад
Thank you 🙏
@peterfenwick2540
@peterfenwick2540 2 года назад
You mentioned South Africa, thank you for the plug :-)
@saaros
@saaros Год назад
not only i get to learn so much through your videos, you make me laugh to no end; thank you!
@Wyowanderer
@Wyowanderer 2 года назад
Come over here, horse - I got something for ya! I'll be he's heard THAT before...
@Nobody-cw4wm
@Nobody-cw4wm 2 года назад
Love the Ariocarpus retusus….you’re right, it’s exactly where it’s supposed to be! Amazingly adapted to look like the surrounding rock.
@cactus3703
@cactus3703 2 года назад
Should go to the Caribbean nxt!
@LukeMcGuireoides
@LukeMcGuireoides 2 года назад
Check out the channel. He has several vids from hispaniola, maybe other islands too, not sure
@yfrontsguy
@yfrontsguy 2 года назад
I could watch hours of this habitat !! Never enough pteridaceae nor selaginella ! What a place !!
@fringefarm4207
@fringefarm4207 2 года назад
Come check me out in hawaii! Big island out on the lava! My own garden is worth a vid not to mention the lava dwelling kipukas. Room board and wheels.
@LukeMcGuireoides
@LukeMcGuireoides 2 года назад
That's a great idea. I bet theres a lot of cool volcanic endemics
@sebastianmarquez3014
@sebastianmarquez3014 2 года назад
@@LukeMcGuireoides Metrosideros, Sadleria, Polypodium, Vaccinium, are some of the native taxa you'll find colonizing recent lava flows. One of our more interesting endemics that folks from the mainland US may find interesting: A California tarweed got here and radiated into a bunch of different forms and habitats. One of those is a liana (!) in wet forest on Kaua'i
@Hello_Fuckers0
@Hello_Fuckers0 2 года назад
Don't feel bad about whether or not you hurt some cactus collecting knobs, the non knobs know who they are and that you don't mean to put them down. Sadly the knobs outnumber the non knobs...
@MikeStonePhotographer
@MikeStonePhotographer 2 года назад
Just found your channel i’m from Australia love that cattle dog you have! Your knowledge is impressive!
@itookallthenames
@itookallthenames 2 года назад
He went to WA, check it out!
@JaredG_WV
@JaredG_WV 2 года назад
I love your videos because I am a landscape architect and I can watch these at work and not feel weird about playing it since its botany! Coworkers walk by and think I'm just bettering myself and not just indulging in one of my fave channels.
@Invading-Specious
@Invading-Specious 2 года назад
thank you
@TheNostalgicFuture
@TheNostalgicFuture Год назад
just found this channel and I have never learned so much. that and every video without fail my guy will come out with something that literally splits my sides. the donkey shit got me good 😅😅😅
@Tracy-xe9zu
@Tracy-xe9zu 2 года назад
Hearing you say "chonky boys" makes me so happy
@agnelomascarenhas8990
@agnelomascarenhas8990 2 года назад
Stunning, I have seen these cacti as drawings in a book.
@genier7829
@genier7829 2 года назад
That Aristolochia is amazing
@markchinguz4401
@markchinguz4401 2 года назад
Hearing tony say "chonky boi" does me good
@brandiblaisdell7599
@brandiblaisdell7599 Год назад
You have a tattoo that I have thought of getting for years for plant ID and gardening - the ruler on your finger \m/
@simonwilliams3236
@simonwilliams3236 2 года назад
love your video titles, was listening to some big l this morning.
@davidkaplan2745
@davidkaplan2745 2 года назад
"Philosophize, philosophize, philosophize... Hey look at the horse shit!"
@boonedocks13
@boonedocks13 2 года назад
whoa. I was in Newport OR the other day, and saw a truck with a CPBBD sticker. I did a triple take. was it you T? is there a chance we’re gonna get a temperate rainforest episode?
@bybeach4865
@bybeach4865 2 года назад
Near the beginning when Tony was shouting at the horses (and the Donkey), I imagined some scruffed-up sketchy dude, standing outside of an old Econoline van (no windows) asking the horses iff'en they wanted candy. Smart horses for avoiding and giving him a wide berth. And just asking, where was Al? I do enjoy your shows. They do help me break out of the" what do I get out of syndrome' that anyone born raised and residing in Suburbia might have, for a now somewhat decent lifespan.
@missyflutter5562
@missyflutter5562 2 года назад
This title is titillating 🙄😂 always loved breaking up that clay with a little gypsum 💄💄💄
@jtknight4647
@jtknight4647 Год назад
I'm learning so much (Fern in the desert??wow) and laughing so much (my catholic guilt tirade hahahaHA). Tony u r a RU-vid ALLSTAR! Big thanks from a new fan
@64Pete
@64Pete 2 года назад
Enjoyed the lesson as always Joey, cheers, gfy ✌🇦🇺
@susiefairfield7218
@susiefairfield7218 2 года назад
AH ya videos get me so excited bout these plants and cacti 🌵🌾🌿🌳 Huge fan of ya chan! What's there not ta like! Share ur chan with all my plants geek friends 💞👍🏾 Keep being you Dude ... ya da bestAH💯👌🏿 10:45 how does it dew that!!💩 hahaha😆
@newmanmansell760
@newmanmansell760 Год назад
This is the most interesting plant biology channel🤲🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
@Ferserious2
@Ferserious2 2 года назад
Gad damn, I've always been a reptile nerd but you make me want to cheat on my taxa with some plants. I have no idea what you're talking about half the time but it's all so interesting. I'll keep trying to keep up with what the fack is goin on.
@swayback7375
@swayback7375 2 года назад
You can do it! Plants never try to escape, you don’t even need a lid or nothin!
@hellokittysays6333
@hellokittysays6333 Год назад
The pronunciation of your syllables, bruh-bruh... You're gonna have me embarrassing myself one day being my sole source of botanical vocabulary.
@beastinthesky6774
@beastinthesky6774 2 года назад
Dude I'm trying to figure out if I met you while riding trains in Florida, like probably 10-12 years ago. It was on the line that runs from Chattahoochee to Pensacola. Met some dude who looked and talked a lot like you, one of those experts hobos who keeps to himself and rides everywhere, came over to my grainer and said hi while we were sided. I was a lanky dude with long hair and (probably) a CSX hat. Anyway cheers man, love the videos. (edit: typo)
@its-daydayday
@its-daydayday 2 года назад
Love the spiritual inquiry 😉
@plasticvision
@plasticvision 2 года назад
botany and existential crises. my favourite things.
@Chris.Davies
@Chris.Davies 2 года назад
I feel like I'm being driven by a New Jersey taxi driver, on my first time in New York City.
@MrAtrophy
@MrAtrophy 2 года назад
fuck me , @ 16:00 broke me . the wife and I laughed till we hurt .... the timing is golden.
@guynamedkyle
@guynamedkyle 2 года назад
Joey did u ever get payment for Wired?
@louCanitz
@louCanitz 2 года назад
Love your sweet dulcet tones ;)
@MissEwe
@MissEwe 2 года назад
Him: here I is 0:15 Me : here Ewe are 🤣🤣🤣
@cumsperacy8432
@cumsperacy8432 Год назад
Your dogs are well camouflaged for that habitat!
@anon6056
@anon6056 2 года назад
You're a kind person
@jg1019
@jg1019 2 года назад
Don't worry tony. You said "some knobs greenhouse" not "some awesome botany enthusiast who appreciates the cacti they collect, and for the most part, grows there own 's greenhouse" which is totally fair. #deathtoknobs
@Mr.Spanky
@Mr.Spanky Год назад
Very informative thanks
@davidruiz2474
@davidruiz2474 2 года назад
Recently discovered your channel/content and really enjoy it. I'm from Weslaco, TX and just watched your video on the RGV. Do you have any videos on local/native mosses to the RGV?
@JonathanMCnipples
@JonathanMCnipples 2 года назад
Incredible I love this
@bdhanes
@bdhanes 2 года назад
"How does it do dat? How does it do dat? How does it do dat? You too much of a wuss to touch a piece of donkey shit!? GFYS!!!" 😂🤣
@mckalcm7494
@mckalcm7494 2 года назад
....nudder banguh, Tone
@Northerncacti2021
@Northerncacti2021 Год назад
Ahahaha this guy is awesome ahaha “You like donkey shit”. This guy has a great sense of humor!
@guillaumefunke3649
@guillaumefunke3649 Год назад
That view !🤯
@matthewwagner47
@matthewwagner47 11 месяцев назад
Why do they poach the living Rock plants? Amazing plants.
@grapes4832
@grapes4832 2 года назад
People always talk about climate change creating more deserts, but I don’t think that’s the case at all. Deserts are very biodiverse & sensitive ecosystems; what climate change will make is wastelands.
@profmuthandi
@profmuthandi 2 года назад
Let me know when you come back to the Galeana area and I'll show you Acharagma roseanum galeanense and some nice turbinicarps. Thanks and regards
@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt
@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt 2 года назад
Email me please crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt@gmail.com
@raymonddettlaff1386
@raymonddettlaff1386 2 года назад
Coming from the Sonoran Arizona, this is a crazy, beautiful place.
@canadiangemstones7636
@canadiangemstones7636 Год назад
“Oiled up and slapped around dot com.” 😂 Peak dirtbag botany right there.
@okantichrist
@okantichrist 2 года назад
Out of interest, what happens to seized poached cactus (and other plants)? Do they get planted back in their habitats?
@ThreeRunHomer
@ThreeRunHomer 2 года назад
Weirdest oaks ever
@missesraisin
@missesraisin 2 года назад
Hilarious the proper names mixed with slang , funny dude!
@vernelldelong3701
@vernelldelong3701 2 года назад
9:30 so true They poach everything and eat everything. I’m from Cape Town. I know.
@j.w.78
@j.w.78 2 года назад
💯💯💯
@christopheryates5953
@christopheryates5953 2 года назад
Another great video, super cool speciation! Did you get a good sniff on that aristolochia?
@thegodofhellfire
@thegodofhellfire 2 года назад
Banger alert!
@Toddis
@Toddis 2 года назад
That Dutchman's pipe he dropped the rock on, did he move the rock after? Or is it still squishing the poor guy?
@TheEricrya
@TheEricrya 2 года назад
Real nice ferns and pines
@charlescoult
@charlescoult 2 года назад
Love those Echinocereus flowers :)
@f_youtubecensorshipf_nazis
@f_youtubecensorshipf_nazis 2 года назад
Now all I can hear is W saying stratigraphy.
@LukeMcGuireoides
@LukeMcGuireoides 2 года назад
Wow, what a habitat. You're so lucky to be able to visit all these strange and fantastic places, and i consider myself lucky for being gifted with your content, the beautiful films and knowledge. Thx, Joey. Keep on truckin. Nice donkey shit money shot
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