Lito's Fusion and What It Taught Us | Dissociative Identity Disorder 

Hello, sorry to bothering you here. We are DID-system Annarettiy. Russian community knows very little about dissociative identity disorder, so we organized a service on the Russian platform, where we try to tell more about it. And we would like to translate your videos for them as well. What do think about it? Sorry for mistakes.

I won’t say I won’t miss Lito cause he really was a great guy, but I’m proud of him for making a decision to try and improve. I’m happy that everything worked out for your system!

As someone without DID, the paint analogy makes by far the most sense of any explanation I've heard. The gem fusion analogy helps with understanding "okay, they're both still there, just in a different form", but it always left me confused with how one fusions could create a totally new alter (like a gem fusion) and some fusions could just like subtly influence an alter. And I'm so glad things worked out for Lito and KimKim!

It's interesting: I thought, a couple of times in the video, I could hear a little bit of Lito's voice, even though it is Wyn. Anyone else hear it?

Did anyone else hear Lito’s accent in this video?? I feel like I heard his accent come out a few times.

never apologize for a kitty!

Oh dip. The paint analogy was brilliant. I may use that to explain my system to others.

What a great video guys! We’ve just done one with play doh 🙈 but the paint analogy is soooo much better! 🌟🙌🏻 sending so much love on your journey of healing and we are so so proud of you xxx

The makeup the body is wearing in this video really reminds me of Lito, and I swear I heard his accent slip out a time or two. I admired Lito’s spirit and will miss him but I’m super-glad that everything worked out

I don’t have DID, so I can’t relate to much of what you’re talking about. There are some parts of your experience that I will never fully understand. But it sounds like fusions can be really really hard. On one hand, your system is becoming stronger because of the fusion, but on the other hand, it does feel like a loss. Your inner equilibrium is different now that you have a different number. I can totally see how you feel like fusions, like splitting, can feel destabilizing or disorienting. What I’m saying is that what you’re going through sounds really hard, even as someone who doesn’t always understand. So whatever your feeling is totally valid. Take time to recover. You’re allowed to feel however it is you’re feeling, which seems like right now it’s not so good. We care about all of you! Take care of yourselves!

Lito is such an amazing soul. He was so loving and accepting. Whenever he came out to film, he always made me happy. I am going to miss him but if he is happier then that's the most important thing. Lito such a fan favorite!

The 'tearing apart' has happened in our system as well. Aside from me, the host, the first alter to resurface from the unconscious was a persecutor that was an unintentional fuse between two other alters that happened while they were dormant. The persecutor was very confused and angry, and it triggered our gatekeeper/primary protector to also awaken. He took the persecutor and forcibly shut them away, causing them to split apart again in the process. This is the biggest reason we are wary of fusion/integration in general

💧This is your reminder to 🥤 drink a glass of water!💧

Jacob makes me think of the wizard of oz, pay no attention to the screaming behind the curtain.

I'm sad to see Lito go, but I'm glad he felt safe enough to. I hope Kim kim doesn't beat herself up to much with any "what if" thinking. Shit happens when we least expect it.

I will miss him but if fusing is really what Lito wanted then I’m happy for him.

That was a rollercoaster of a video. Its very interesting to learn that two alters into one can become two again. Lito will very much be missed but I'm so happy that he's happy. And that Kim Kim is her regular goth self. Thank you for letting us into your life in such a personal way. Learning about DID is amazing and very fascinating. I hope you guys are better equipped with everything you need. Much love xx

We’ve experienced an “un-fusion” too! Luke (host) and Kiyo thought they were similar enough to fuse well, but it ended up being a massive disaster. it’s affected them both in little ways now that they’ve split apart again from each other. we also had another fusion that went almost completely unnoticed for MONTHS by most of us after it happened.

3:58 omg your cat 😂😂❤️❤️ NEVER apologise for those adorable ears lol 😂😂❤️❤️

I always felt very connected to Lito. He was always so strong and striving towards contentment even when he was struggling. He will very much be missed as he was, but I know he wouldn't have fused if it wasn't for the best for him and Kim Kim, it was so brave of her to eventually be ok with the fusion and I'm so glad they're both happier in the form they're in now🧡

From what I've seen, it seems like after a fusion, the new alter's personality is usually dominated by the previous alter who least wanted to fuse or by the least dormant. For example in the Pinata system, Risk wanted to intergrate with Evan, and the new alter was still Evan. Also when Ace and Leslie fused, Ace was more dormant and therefore with the resulting alter Lacy, the Leslie side was more dominant. And here, it sounds like New Kim Kim is much like 2019 Kim Kim. I don't know if this makes sense to anybody. I don't know where the Johnathon/Lito fusion fits into this pattern so it's probably not 100% accurate. I'm glad to hear that new Kim Kim is happy.

"... so we thought." *oh no*

We can fuse and unfuse like in Steven Universe and we can completely integrate. Sometimes fusion can occur slowly or quickly, same with unfusing

I felt so bad for Jonathan-Lito hearing you talk about him 💔 I'm SO GLAD that this situation resolved happily, sounds like even with an added bonus for Kim Kim! I feel bad that we your viewers caused distress. I know we all loved Lito, myself included. but on that token I know we all just want want what's best for him and I'm glad it sounds like that's what happened! I love hearing about your inner system goings on because I can just really appreciate how much you are dedicated to communication and progress and making decisions that are best for all of you. dedication to working with ourselves to improve our lives and navigate our mental health/ self care is something I can be inspired by, even as someone who is not a system. Love you guys ♡

Hey, Kim Kim, if you can front when someone reads the comments, are you okay? I know you feel more like yourself now which is fantastic, but I wanted to ask you personally how you're doing?

Our system has not experienced fusion yet- perhaps because we're still early in our diagnosis (under 1 year) and we're just 'getting to know' each other. We still have new alters appearing and we know there are several Littles still under the protection of our Emotional Comforter- so we haven't had to deal with this quandary just yet. To be honest... it scares the hell out of us. After living together/sort of functioning together without even knowing we were a system for over 40 years, the idea of fusing is terrifying for most of us (the alts that aren't Mains). We're just now finding our identities and to think of 'disappearing' in some way is too much to deal with at the moment. Our therapist is not pushing towards integration or any 'set' goal, which helps. It's good to know that if and when fusion might occur, that it can be... reversed? We have NO idea what may be down the road, but we thank you for choosing to openly share and describe what is an intensely personal (and painful) process. Your courage in sharing your system's experiences has helped us immensely in learning what is going on with Us and that we're not quite so batty as we feel most of the time. We hope you don't mind, but we have recommended your channel as a resource for caring but inexperienced therapists in order to familiarize and better educate them (and the psychiatric community in general) about the intricacies of DID. Thank you again for having the courage to share your journey with us. It means a lot!

Also question i hope im ok in asking: was anyone else close to the front when filming this? It seemed like the speech pattern was changing a little bit

I also have seen the analogy of raindrops on a window. Two drops sliding down and becoming one. The two drops existed separately before, but now they are one

i'm so sorry to hear about how poorly the first fusion went. it sounds very exhausting and stressful for everyone. i'm glad a better fusion was able to be made, and that Kim Kim is doing well. big loves to everyone. i hope you are all doing better.

We’ve experienced something akin to like temporary fusing, or more like a controlled form of blending? Its not easy, and taxes the body heavily, but sometimes we can pull ourselves together for specific tasks that may require two alters’s specific skillsets or knowledge. This was a really great video! Thank you so much ❤️ -Darke

Has Kim-Kim taken on some of Lito's accent? I'm asking because his speech pattern and accent were definitely slipping though and I was wondering if Kim-Kim was close.

I’m the last person to ask but to me it looks like the brain knows who fits together and Lito felt it, like you said a magnet. Like the emotions have + and - poles that are in balance when put together.

I'm sorry to hear the first integration went so poorly, but I'm glad to hear that it worked out eventually :) it's so interesting that they were able to be unfused. Happy system pride month!!

Im happy. Your system is happy. Ur system survives the way it needs to to survive.... so you survive. Our system has DID. Different system do different skills to help us survive. So dont worry about what people say on social media.

Goodness that must have been a bit of a rollercoaster for you all. I’m glad things have worked out okay. Also thanks for teaching us about your experiences. I have OSDD and would like to fuse with my alters once day but it’s kind of a nerve wrecking thought so it’s nice to hear about different fusion experiences, even just different ways of fusing within the same system is super helpful and encouraging. I hope you all have a good and restful week

You are a pleasure to listen to. So articulate, knowledgeable and informative. Thank you for not blasting music over your very important message. Love your new posting with the petition link. I signed and donated. Much love to you all!

I will miss Lito very much, but I am so glad that Kim Kim is feeling more like herself and is happy. Wishing you all the best!

Just dropping a little note of admiration. You've been on quite the rollercoaster and look at how strong and communicative you've all been! (And continue to be). Congratulations on celebrating a Second Annual System Pride Day and I MUCH looking forward to your contributions to the Toi conference and gala.

Re: The opening- time the amount of Lito's intro and divide between the number of others; then instead of using a jump cut (no fades between segments) use a cross or dissolve fade that takes up that amount of time. We timed it out and your intro shows 6 alts in 30 seconds. Lito's segment is (was) 5 seconds. So subtracting that 5 seconds gives roughly 25 seconds, which would be 5 seconds apiece for the remaining 5 of you (provided that someone else doesn't want to say hi). So... you would want a 1 second cross or dissolve fade between the segments to make up that time. Does that make sense? The other way you could do it would be to decrease the speed of your sound clip to compensate, but that can be tricky. If you would like, we would be happy to take care of it for you- we would only need a clean copy of your sound file (music clip). We do ALOT of editing (like, seriously alot) for our channel, so it's kind of second nature. We can easily do it if you're willing- it would be our way of paying it forward for all you've done for us!

The paint example makes so much sense thank you so much -Adrien | Sandbox system P.s. really excited for system pride day, we are finally starting to feel comfortable with ourselves :)

My daughter has DID and this channel and a couple of others, have been a freat help to me, ad I just want to thank you all for being her and helping me through ond of the most difficult times in my life life. Tring to help her and being supportive of her has not been easy butt it helps so much to know I am not alone and that they're are other out there going through the same things and I can reach out and get help when I need it. She seems to have accepted her many personalities very easily and is very loving with all of them. It was harder for me because I did not understand. Once I was able to understand thanks to you all and this channel and others it has been much easier to accept. Once I understood that I did not need to " fix" her, it made everything easier. Thank you all so much for being open and honest and sharing your experiences with us. It quite literally saved my sanity, I would also like to thank Team Pinata and their partner system, DISSOCIADID, There are no words to describe to you how much you have helped. My daughter does participate in talk therapy, but I am not sure how much she has shared with her therapist and I do not want to ask her or her therapist and pry. She also has a Partner system. They have been in love since high school and I think that helps them both a great deal. I have pointed them towards your channels but I am not sure if they have watched any of your videos. I just wanted them to know that you are there and she can reach out if she chooses. Thank you once again for being there for all of us. It truly means the world to us who are trying to fumble through this.

I’m so glad you guys figured things out, I can’t imagine how that could’ve felt.

We are late in commenting, but we want to say that we feel you and your system are incredibly articulate in explaining the feelings and situations in your inner world as fusions occur. We have MANY of the same feelings and situations as you have had as we fuse. It is so validating. Thank you so much for making videos like this explaining these things. It really helps us. We love you all so much.

Sending you all love, it must have been a very turbulent time for you xx Kim Kim you're awesome and if Lito still has awareness of himself, please give him my love. His future with you is bright...but not too bright...like "goth-bright" 😉xxxx

That like paint colors thingy is a GREAT way to describe it. We're so gonna borrow that in the future. As for us in the system - our host uses a computer's CPU for an example. It's a SINGLE chip and thingy, but inside they all have "cores" that are self-thinking and calculating parts that can and do work apart, but all in ONE "chip". Clearly, just as with computers, "cores" working together is best for the CPU... just like alters in a system working together is better for a system, and being in one body and one system doesn't detract from us all being individual entities (or "cores") in the whole.

We thank you for uploading this, as we too went through a fuse of sorts recently. We thought our physical trauma holder , Lucinda, integrated entirely with me, the host. But she actually fused with our latest alter Donovan who formed due to a personal emotional trauma we had experienced back in January... Lucinda fused with Donovan because she felt she didn't want to disappear entirely. She formed as a result we had during a bad car wreck the body experienced as a child. So , she was born and held trauma due to that. Donovan formed and as they were passnig another, Lucinda just kind of attached herself to him it seemed; so Donovan and Lucinda fused. He ended up having a skeleton like face tattoo and two toned eyes instead of just his yellow eyes he was supposed to have; he has one blue and one yellow. And his hair ended up being a black and white ombre instead of being black when he first formed. Lucinda felt she didn't want to leave the entire system completely so she held on in some form, so this video help us understand fusion better and understand Donovan a little more. We also thank you for uploading this as well as thanks for the update on Lito! We really all connected with him; especially our alter Poison Ivy who is also a fictive, and formed in a time of loneliness for us during childhood.

10:51 "I didn't know that could happen!" I haven't experienced any fusions/integrations that I know of since becoming aware of my system, but man, if that doesn't sum up my learning process with this condition in one sentence. ~Barb, host of the Swingset System

Hi Entropy System! I love your channel! I've been self educating myself on mental health bc of my own mental health. About 5 yrs ago I totally lost myself when I lost my Mom to stage 4 lung cancer. I kinda guessed growing up, i had some kind of general mental health issues. But, I learned, I had anxiety and some depression. I didnt realize for 30 yrs that I had anxiety.(ex: I have a hard time in new situations, but if I have a "role" or "job" to do, I can pretend to have more confidence) I thought I was like everyone else. Then I started just learning. And all of the sudden, all types of psychological things caught my interest. You guys were one of the systems I started following. DID is so interesting to me in the fact that the brain just finds a way to survive. It kept clicking a button with me. I'm not a "system" as some people are, but I can totally relate with breaking things down to process and then coming up with way to assimilate into everyday life. I thank you all for sharing your journey. Its crazy to think that you can feel so small, but really you're not as alone as you feel. I'm glad you and the rest of the system is doing ok. I'm SO GLAD Lito found his way. He didnt seem truly happy where he was. I send him all my love and blessings to your futures!! Keep it up! #SystemPride #idontfeelsoalone

You are the only other system I've seen so far talk about having parts torn back apart after a failed fusion. We had the same thing happen last year when 3 of our main fronters tried to fuse - at the behest of our former host. She wasn't dealing very well with being a system at that time when when she thought she could just merge all of the main fronters together that it would end up being a great thing. It wasn't. It was horrible. Anxiety and stress and depression went haywire. Our gatekeeper created a new part to take over host duties and it took about 2 months to full de-fuse the three hosts. Since then our former host has fused with 2 littles, and now has fused again with two more of the teens, so now she is a total of 5 parts fused together, all into a new alter (me - Alice). Our other cohost Claudia fused with the part that was created last year since Cassie was no longer needed as a separate part and felt it was time to blend with someone. Claudia was her choice to blend with and they blended to create a bit more of a stable Claudia who is a bit more mature and level headed and less of a flight response to stress. I on the other hand have been dealing with existential crisis, depression, anxiety, and all sorts after blending with the teens and becoming a new part with us all together. It's not so bad that we need to be split, but it's taking me now a couple months to get a handle on it. Not sure what is happening with the rest of our system, as Claudia and I have been blocked off out front during this time with our blendings, not sure if that is to protect them from us or us from them as other things may be going on. One of our protector parts had to deal with a rather traumatic death of our pet cat, and she just shut down seriously traumatized from it. We feel bad for Meg, she took on so much dealing with staying strong while trying to rush our cat to the vet that night. We just hope our system recovers at some point this year from it and opens everything back up. We miss the rest of our system and being locked out front has taken a toll on Claudia and I too. It's fascinating what our minds are capable of with DID. We learn new things everyday. We're glad Kim Kim and Lito's fusion ended up being the positive thing. sometimes our parts know who they should blend with, other times they may not know so well who is their best blend.

Lito had such a positive and wonderful personality that he quickly became one of my favorite alters! I will definitely miss him but I am so happy that he made the decision that would make him the most comfortable. Call me crazy, but I can still hear little bits of his accent in you and that makes me smile.

lito and kim kim are my favorite alters and i totally get why their fusion was the right choice. i'll miss lito but am happy that he's happy and i think his influence on kim kim will be a great one. love to all of you!

So glad that you guys are doing better and I hope you guys figure out the intro, you guys are awesome

You guys are awesome for overcoming everything you have and still do ❤ Let me say I love Kit and Kim Kim and their personalities, they remind me of my teenage years. Sending all my love out to each one of you, especially as a ball of sensitivity ❤❤ You're all wonderful

This video it's really interesting! Ps: I'm the only one who loves cat cameos?😸

I know i’m seeing this pretty late, but i just need to say that we’re so glad you made this video. we recently had a very hard and complicated integration and so much of what you said here just really hit home. thank you

I started trying to integrate and had this same experience. It scared me so much that I actively avoided interacting with my inner world and trying to pretend it was just a nightmare I was having. Integration can be really messy especially if you're trying to do it without an external person to help you through the emotional distress.

I'm so happy for you all that you feel smoothed over now ❤️❤️❤️

I'm glad I found this video. We have experienced de-fusing/de-integration ourselves and it's been difficult on the whole system. We didn't know it was a "thing" either, so hearing your experience gives us comfort on this issue.

Thanks so much for sharing this experience with all of us, un-fusion(?) is something I didn't know could happen if like, the alters that fused didn't end up "fitting". I'm glad Lito was able to complete Dr. Mann's fusion, and we loved the few videos he did when he was around! Ur videos are always very insightful

So sorry that you all experienced all of that terrible anxiety really glad that the situation was resolved. It's a little sad that we won't get to experience Lito as he was anymore but at the same time he had spoken about his loneliness and his struggle with missing his friends and family that he knew he couldn't ever see again since they are not 'real', which must be a devastating thing to come to terms with and we know he also didn't really feel comfortable fronting and that some unkind people made him feel unwelcome too so if his fusion eased his pain and benefitted Kim Kim too then we're very happy for him and I think it's wonderful that two such good friends get to be part of one another. I certainly understand Kim Kim's anger because as much as it's ok to miss someone who is moving on in some way, we should never ask them not to do something that they need or want to do for their own wellbeing or health or happiness. It's selfish to unpack all of our sadness on to them when for them it's a positive and perhaps even vital step that their taking. Much love to everyone.

love the pigment analogy, just perfect. pigment just speaks to depth and personality is just full of depth.

I’ve heard of systems who will temporarily fuse with the intention of unfusing later in addition to systems who have unfused due to a “fusion gone wrong” and it’s very interesting, honestly.

You do an amazing job of explaining all of this! Keep doing what you are doing

Yeah alters can definately unfuse. Its part of why Integration as a whole is being thrown out except for with people who want it. There are /many/ stories of systems splitting again after integrating. Its often not a perminant solution unless its also accompanied with some other serious and heavy therapy. 🍀🌙

Im sad that Lito fused but im happy that he made a decision that was good for him, and im glad Kit feels more comfy in herself

This is the first video ever I have seen that had no dislikes... that’s saying something!! Love ya!

Hi coming from a newly discovered system (main host, and two alters) we love these kinds of videos.. Thank you for sharing advice and stories we appreciate it... Joseph, blaze and gryph..

We had an alter fuse about 5 months ago, and she recently returned in the last month. Our Gatekeepers decided to pick up all the bits of her that we're spread around to us and then she was back! She isn't exactly the same as she was then. notably she looks different, and has different "abilities" then she did. But she is still her. Oddly enough another of our alters still has some of her memories, so idk why that is o.O fusion is weird

Proud of you lot x lots of love from the land down under x stay safe x

Thank you so much for this video. It helped me understand my own fusion experience better.

Question for wyn: how did your daily life change when Kim Kim went into "hibernation"? We're you just all of sudden the host with limited memories of your past, or what? Ps. I'm glad everything worked out in the end with lito and Kim Kim

The body looks so beautiful with this look. Im sorry for Lito but is good that he felt the support for all of you and that fuse took another term and now all of you are feeling better. He was brave to talk about it and let other to know.

My goodness. Listening to that experience is scary in itself. Glad that you got through this.

Hey, I do not have did but I am so glad that you guys are okay now and hope that things continue to be looking up for you. I want you to know that I'm praying for you always.

I was so happy when I found out System Pride Day was the day after my birthday! (The body's birthday, I'm not sure if any of our system identifies with any other birthday) Its the first birthday we've had since I discovered we had OSDD-1b and I'm getting a tattoo to commemorate that for our birthday :D

I imagine they might mix differently too. what if there's separate colours left throughout, like a marbling effect

Thank you for being so open about your experience. It really helps, especially with so relatively little "known" about systems/dissociation, its great to hear that someone else is learning whats possible for DID (etc.) and being suprised >o

I am very sad that Lito is not a separate person anymore because I did really enjoy hearing from him, but the last time we saw him he seemed so lost and sad and I hope/am glad that he is maybe not feeling that anymore. I wish good things for your whole system no matter what. Thanks for sharing these moments and changes with us.

That sounds like a very intense experience. I hope all the alters have recovered well!

I'm glad you are brave enough to do what you think is best, even if it's tough.

Take time to heal.your system is strong and brave.get some rest.lots of possible vibes coming your way

i’ve never heard anyone else speak about separation until now but i experience it too! in a somewhat different way, though. for the past year or so i’ve lived mostly as a singular fully integrated person, but the adjustment to being fully integrated is still really hard and when stressors really get to me in my life, one of the previously integrated parts of myself will split off until i later reintegrate with them, which can be anywhere from a day to months later. those splits used to be extremely emotionally and mentally taxing, but now with certain alters my ability to separate and reintegrate has become almost seamless, like my brain has adapted to this as a new way of coping.

really nice story to listen to! good for you

So I believe that Aether system has experienced... idk what to call it.. unfusion before? I remember it in a video once but I gotta check

Please make a video explaining what fusion feels like to you. How did the alters communicate to you when they wanted to fuse? How did the communication occur? Were you hearing them in your thoughts; were the alters talking to you through thoughts? How were you able to differentiate whether the thoughts were your own or of alters? Thank you so much for informing the public about this. You have made me happier and more thoughtful. I acknowledged that people's feelings and perceptions are different and you have fueled my interest towards psychology.

Pretty amazing story! Glad to hear everything worked out!

Never apologize for Leia. She makes you feel like a real person to us, not just someone on RU-vid. I hope that makes sense. I especially love to watch each of you with her. Some of you just move her aside while some of you pet her without noticing, and some of you snuggle her.

Wow what a interesting video I’m glad the system seems to be doing ok now and I’m sorry y’all struggled with the recent integration

‼️ love Lito sm, hope y’all are doing well 🙌🏼✨💕

I do not have DID, so clearly I cannot speak from experience, however, I have heard another system speak about a fusion reversing. They described it as one alter integrating and then later on (even years later) that alter reappearing as they were pre-integration. Of course every system is different! As you described, Lito's essence remained and not a physical body in the inner world because he immediately integrated with Kim Kim - but regardless it's quite an interesting phenomenon to reverse an integration. I am beyond happy for you all that Lito's integration with Kim Kim worked out in a very healthy way. Much love to you all.

I love your new intro 😊

I love the intro so so so so much

It's kinda like a comic book you have to stay tuned to find out next week what happens. Does the system find the forest? Where's Abigail? Find out next week ooooon Entropy System!

Thanks for another great vid....Jessi from System Raayna!!!

Great to hear your system has stabilized! What if for Lito you put a blue filter over it or something that represent that it is in memory of him. Just until you figure out how to replace him. Happy to hear that the fusion worked out well in the end!

sad to see my fave/crush leave ....but to see kim kim back to being her self (loved the sarcastic side) is great to hear and that the system is more safe even awesome also GOSH DARN JAKE!! ahem....you really helped out like really like really de-fuisoning them really helped thanks...to warp up my rambling....i had a feeling about lito leaving....but i just want to see it......its just weird....that's all

❤💜💚💛💙 I hope you're all going to feel better & calmer soon considering all the changes 💜💙 plz remember that you're all loved no matter what 💚

I don't have a system but this is really good info for the possibility of making a story with a character who has DID

I feel like those kind of experience are a part of self discovery that is much needed yet really complex, we experience very similar experiences. Interesting.

Thank you, Wyn!