In some areas they do have trauma informed therapists. One of my former therapists at one point lived and worked near a military base. She mostly dealt with PTSD and CPTSD but a lot of other trauma related things. She didn't do EMDR or anything like that though. She was wonderful she transferred from where I live to another area. That's pretty rare though it should be more common. I have a lot of friends and family that served in the military including my dad. Of course back then their wasn't any help. He served in the late 40s or early 50s so it was a different time back then.
When someone in my life very close to me had to get out of the army on a medical discharge for mental health, he had to lie to all of his army friends what he was getting out for because he KNEW how it would be received :// that’s so garbage I’m sorry you had to go through that
I had to comment on your EMDR session... Your old therapist DEFINITELY did it wrong. No wonder you guys were so fragmented and anxious the next day! I am so upset with that therapist! They must take greater care with their patients! Mine did EMDR with me but made sure I numbered my anxiety around the event every count to 10, she could track my mental health. You are also supposed to reflect on happy memories or positive emotions to try and associate with the trauma, you also should be encouraged to take a mental health day or 2 and DID makes EMDR more challenging and just... Ugh! I am frustrated FOR you guys! I hope that your journey continues to go smoothly from here on, I am glad to hear that you have a therapist that can help you improve, and I will stop rant/rambling now. Lol Ps: I am very glad that you guys now have a good situation. :)
I literally just read my counseling textbook's section on EMDR and I was immediately outraged at this therapist. Not having the proper training is an ethical violation under the APA's code.
This is late, but the military is notoriously awful at mental health. While my husband was in the Air Force, we were stationed at a military base. I had a diagnosis of PTSD and anxiety from childhood trauma. My panic attacks really start up when my health is low. This time I had had a migraine for 2 days before going to the base hospital’s ER. Now I get it. This base had a training facility on it and AITers were infamous for complaining about a cough or a hurt ankle for getting out of PT the next morning. What’s worse is in that ER, it took hours to get back to see a doctor. While waiting, I started to have a panic attack. The triage nurse comes out to me and says “faking a panic attack won’t get you back in a room faster.” I was horrified and embarrassed. I was trying to hide my panic attack and my health chart showed I had a history of panic attacks. A kinder nurse took me from the waiting room to wait in a dark room in the back. The next day my husband contacted his flight commander about what happened (he was already collecting the issues most of us were having with the Army hospital there) and I never saw that nurse again. But that was a major factor is why my husband didn’t re-enlist.
Military mental health has become a HUGE topic now but the care for it is still really bad. Before I got out I went to see an on site therapist and at one visit I cried from stuff and like, she said and I quote "you seem fine..why did you want to come see me again?" Like, excuse me, I feel something is off but now I feel like I'm wasting your time.... and that's why I'm afraid of going back to any sort of therapy. I'm apparently fine.. maybe it is me over reacting...
the therapist seems like she has no empathy, if you feel like something isnt right they need to respond with concern, not an "oh your fine, just get over it" attitude, you are right to have the feelings you did.
Honestly if any therapist acts like that just walk out, they don't deserve to hear your issues. They can't help you if you can't talk to them safely and they won't listen.
Exactly! I went in to see my therapist because my anxiety was so bad I had horrible chest pains and she was like "I think you just wanna get out. You don't really have anxiety" like bitch what. And then I was hospitalized a week later and she was like oh... Lol
Jesus, that therapist can go straight to hell. Even if your therapist thought there was nothing wrong, that is one of the worst possible ways to phrase it, oh my god. When I came to my doctor saying I thought I had bipolar disorder (I was mistaking PTSD for being bipolar at the time), she was very reassuring and gentle when telling me that I'm not bipolar. Go see someone else, that therapist has no idea what they're talking about.
As a former Marine that has PTSD So I am sorry for the treatment you recieved. your story is so familure to me. Take pride in that you shows you have gotten stronger
thank you so much for sharing your story! And excuse the coice of words- but those Assholes in the military are not nearly as strong and brave as you (all of you) have been. Now you have nearly 20.000 people saluting you! Congratulations on your successful therapie! :)
I'll second that! I had no idea you were in the military, but I have heard from a relative in the Navy that it can be really de-humanizing and that therapy basically sucks through them, so I'm really glad you came through, and I admire all the shit you braved to do that. We are definitely saluting you for your service and your courage!
There is a huge problem with inpatient care providers not treating patients like human beings. It’s ironic, given how many people in inpatient care are trauma survivors. TW for institutional child abuse// I was in a place that locked children in solitary confinement without bathrooms (one of my friends was locked away like this for fourteen hours straight) and made us do “therapy” groups (not led by therapists) while we could hear other kids screaming and sobbing from the solitary “quiet” rooms. It’s absolutely baffling to me how these centers ought to be trauma-informed and at the very, very least should not be causing additional trauma, but so many of them do. People tend to shrug it off as provider burnout, but it’s a very serious problem.
I honestly can't believe that the military treated you so poorly. I'm really glad that you've gotten to a much much better place now, but it sucks that you had to go through so much shit to get there
After everything youve been through, being belittled and invalidated and unfortunately everything in between; here you stand. Stronger than ever and finally in a comfortably supported place in your life. You strength and perseverence inspires me and gives me hope. You and the entire system are all amazing, Wyn. Thank you for sharing your journey and guiding us on ours.
Thank you for sharing this. I’ve been in therapy for two years with someone who specializes in dissociative disorders and working at that level was the start of actually getting better. My previous therapist specialized in EMDR and low level trauma. It caused me to destabilize drastically but on the positive side my parts began to emerge and talk to me. I did my own research and told that therapist I have DID. My parts, one in particular, told me he would interfere with session if we attempted EMDR again, and he disclosed to me information about the others and pointed out evidence from my own experiences and memories of DID. I am so thankful for my headmates. Their hard work and patience with me through my periods of denial (like a kid putting fingers in ears and saying, “Lalala I can’t hear you I’m normal”) have kept me on track and helped me to be functional. Today I have a career and I’m attending graduate school. I couldn’t have even imagined being capable of that a few years ago.
We know this is an older video but we are working our way through your videos. Thank you so much for this. For the longest time we felt like such a failure because we had been in therapy for so incredibly long and were never getting better. We started to think that we would just never get better and needed to radically accept that this is just what life looks like for us. We are still relatively early in our DID recovery (about a year or so). Watching this video we feel like we aren’t failures probably. We too had failed EMDR and now realize it wasn’t our fault. Thank you so much for all that you are. 💜
I really needed this video today. I just started therapy again for my DID after 10 years and I’m scared because I’m older (34) and I’m not sure how this is going to go… but your words, and story, they’ve wrapped around me like a warming blanket I’ve never had and always needed. Thank you win, all of you are a gift 💝
This is so important to give systems hope in treatment and that there are therapist that really can help you! Loved this story and we're proud of your system for reaching such stability :)
1 year into regular therapy and 6 months with my official diagnosis for OCD. I hope one day I find myself like you are describing yourself in this video ♡ fingers crossed!!
Wow, I never expected to learn how similar our therapy journey has been for us. I'm still in between therapists because the last one kept asking morbid details about my sick pet... then at the end said, "That's very sad. Well, I'll give you this medicine for focus." No talk therapy, nothing. I paid for an hour and was dismissed in 20 minutes, crying from her questions. I wasn't even in there for focus problems, lol. Ah, psychiatrists. Ironically socially inept.
If you are diagnosed late in life, you have been living with it and (maybe just subconsciously) working on it somehow so you can progress very quickly once you know whats actually wrong with you and how to live with it best. We have had only one doctor who was actually able to help us and since then our progress was RAPID. With people like you we feel not too lonely and listening to other DID patient's stories and experiences helps a lot to compare and maybe learn something new. Thank you for being so open and nice, youve got a great system and we appreciate your videos.
💜 self advocation is so important. Your persistence definitely paid off though. So glad you are in such a better place, and grateful for the videos you put out.
I really wasn’t expecting to cry from this, but the ending was just. A lot. Still struggling a lot, just started trauma therapy (that struggle to find a therapist is so real) and we just really really need this. So incredibly happy for you 💜💜💜
Been binge watching all of the gang's videos, and I think this is one that's sunk in the most. The fact that there can be a point where things are genuinely better, and stable.
Hi Wyn and co, please practice self care at the moment, with what has happened recently. Stay safe When I’m in hospital, I sleep all day and only wake up for my visits from people, the nurses treat me horribly because by the time in the hospital I am generally fronting, where as what got me in hospital was another alter in crisis. So I seem well adjusted apart from all the sleeping. I’m the same way with the ‘I want to fix it right now!” I’ve literally begged for diagnosis, because every doctor I see doesn’t want to diagnose a child with mental health issues. I’m lucky a doctor who actually cared about me diagnosed me with DID but to get our other diagnoses charted we had to fight tooth and nail.
Hello Wyn :) i hope you don't mind me asking - what made you want to join the military? ps. your videos are fantastic, helpful and educational. I'm glad i found your channel.
I teared up when you said you were in the military. I was watching this on the way to the VA. I was in the Marine Corps. My journey also started with adult trauma. I am diagnosed with DDNOS and because the Navy docs were such crap I ,1. Never got an updated diagnoses and 2. Didn't know until last week it was outdated from, get this, ten years ago!
I liked when you said "I knew I had experienced some level of childhood trauma but it all seemed very minor to me"". Mine all seemed to be minor and i'm not exactly sure of what exactly happened or how bad it actually was. Because I have friends that aren't multiple that have most likely had "worse" childhoods than me I often feel like i'm somehow faking having DID. I'm pretty young (19) and for some reason I feel like I shouldn't have been aware of having DID in any form until I'm much older (i knew something was going on when I was 15 but refused to believe it could be any form of a disorder). It also doesn't help that i'm *still* trying to find a new therapist because when I brought everything up to my old one she said I needed to see a specialist because she has no training with that. I probably won't get another one until next summer and I have no clue how that's going to go. Does anyone have any advice for feeling like you're faking it but you know you aren't because theres a ton of evidence (mostly written)?
I (we) wish it was fake; but I (we) have lost so may things. We have transition, destransition, re transition with hormones bc of gender dysphoria of alters. Transition legally twice. I (we) are socially ashamed. I dont tell anybody that I have OSDD (partial dissociative identity disorder) bc I feel that no one would believe or will sees me as a monster o seeking attention. I have gone to therapist but here in Mexico City there is not trainning. I don know what to tell you but I hope you (all of you) take care and take it easy. Stay strong
I have often spoken to people who are looking for or are in therapy and the one thing I always stress is to find a therapist you can work with, relate to, understands you, etc. It's key to making progress. Thank you for taking the time and being willing to make these videos to help those of us with no knowledge of DID understand.
Thank you for sharing. I needed to hear this and I don't have DID. I do wonder if I have some sort of dissociative disorder though or if it's something else going on. It could just be my current journey through anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Even if it isn't ANOTHER dissociative disorder, as I'm sure you know, PTSD can come with dissociation and other side effects that aren't talked about so often. Worth asking a mental health professional about. Either way, I hope you have the support you need and find answers, and have some peace! 💕
PTSD and dissociation are really close, just research about dissociation. In your case I guess you wouldn’t need another diagnosis, but you could ask your doctor if there was a group therapy for ppl experiencing dissociation in your city.
Hi! This is a ridiculously late reply, but you might want to look into OSDD. It’s like DID, but with some diagnostic criterion for DID missing. We also had your same conundrum of saying, “Something’s wrong with me, and it feels like more than PTSD, but I don’t think I have DID.” It wasn’t until someone told us about OSDD that things finally started making sense. 💗
As a spouse to an American airman, his command and people he works with are one of the main reasons I have a lot of mental issues still, they’ve screamed at me in public, threatened to follow me home, actually turn up at my house and muscle their way in to “tell me off” for going to a councillor on base, told me I’m not welcome there on base etc. I ended up having to go to the police there who said “yeah, they sound like assholes but it’s not illegal, we can’t tell them to stop” oh and that councillor told me “well the forces are very stressful and you need to understand that. They’re going to take it out on you”
I'm so happy that you feel like you are in control and that you are competent! I struggle with this in therapy, and I made me so happy to see that it is possible to get there. ♡
All the feels!!! As an art therapist, I’m glad you had a decent experience with it despite it not being more helpful. You also continued to use your talent and a form of art therapy when getting to know the system by drawing pictures of everyone! ❤️ I had a professor/mentor in grad school that told us that if we as therapists felt we were working really hard for the client, the client wasn’t working hard enough. You all are like “the dream client” because you all worked together for the system instead of expecting a magic fix. Thanks for sharing this experience!
Thank you, this helped us. We are a new system. Our host found out about us 3 weeks ago. She is a bit scared with everything going on, so it good to hear that you were able to overcome your trauma. -John
I had to pause and take a few breaths when you started talking about terrible in-patient care. My stint as an in-patient is actually what gave me PTSD, ironically enough...
Our story is similar in a lot of ways (barring the Military) and we've just started the road to specifically dealing with being multiple. It's super frustrating as my therapist doesn't specialize in dissociation but your words give me hope!! I've been seeing therapists near weekly for almost five years and I hope one day I can get to where you are.
I feel like I really needed this video right now. After 2 years of dealing with everything alone I finally saw a therapist last week and it's overwhelming thinking if she is a right fit for me and how many more years of confusion I might have to go through to find something that works. It's what took me so long to get help in the first place. So thanks because I needed "the light at the end of the tunnel" story.
Also this story gives me so so much hope! I am like you, always wanting to solve everything right away and also feeling really stuck atm but this video helps me so much believing that recovery is possible! Thank you so much for sharing this! 💖🧡
I am SO SORRY you went through this with the military... it hurts my heart... thank you for your service!!! I am so thankful that your attempt was interrupted. Meant to be so you could do what you’re doing, I believe!!! *hugs*
I am so happy you finally found someone that helped you. I wondered a few things though. Did the therapist that diagnose you with DID talk to your alters in therapy and did she talk to them before you were aware of them? Did each of your alters have their own therapy sessions? Thank you for sharing your story.
Congratulations guys! It’s absolutely admirable how well your system communicates and coordinates with each other. I hope the healing continues to go well for you all!
Thank you so much for sharing so much about yourself. I have a playlist of a bunch of your videos and some other systems videos to help someone I know cope with their new diagnosis of DID. You are all so helpful. Thank you thank you thank you
Such a remarkable journey! I'm so sorry to hear about the terrible treatment in the military and your struggle to find the right therapist, but I'm so glad that you kept going and that you've shared your story to help others.
Just wanted to thank you for this candid and hopeful video. I keep it on a play list. Whenever the DID process seems hopeless and overwhelming, i replay it. I kniw every journey & experiences are different. But, this video says it can be done. It is possible. And regardless of the speed, forward is still forward. Again Thank you from all of us.♡
It infuriates me to hear about all these useless therapists and I have to remind myself that some therapists might work for certain individuals while doing nothing for others... I had a therapist for a long time when I was a kid, but we didn't do anything. Our conversations were meaningless and I would just play games with her but we never ever got anywhere. I finally had to tell my parents that it wasn't helping and so we stopped, but we never looked for another therapist. It really upsets me to think about this because I needed help but never got it because by the end of it, I thought I was unfixable. Why are therapists like this allowed to practise? :/
Thank you so much for everything you do, Wyn! You're amazing. I'm so happy for you! And unfortunately I think people being treated poorly inpatient isn't just in the military, my roommate and her mother both had experience in hospitals with very similar bad and for her mother even traumatizing experiences. Her mother was also diagnosed with DID and BPD, so those (along with her being a woman) definitely contributed to her poor treatment because of stigma. I'm so glad that everything is getting better for you, and hope things only continue to get better! 💕
Thank you for sharing Wyn (& co!) it’s so reassuring to hear from someone who has been through what we’re going through now and has come out the other side. It gives us all so much hope for the future - we are not just going to SURVIVE any more (although we appreciate how this was necessary before) now we are going to THRIVE 💪💟🧡🖤 much love xx -Ash 💜
thanks for sharing. I think a lot of people will find this super helpful. and congrats on what you achieved with your therapist and your system. just remember your therapist will always be there in case you need her. but it sounds like you made such a great progress. I'm glad you shared that ifs hard to find someone who knows what they are doing and you keep being resistant until you found the right one. that's the important thing. lpplomg forward to seeing more videos from you. you all have taught me so much.
Oh my gosh I’m so glad I followed my hunch to watch another one of your videos today I can relate to so many things that you say, and they are so reassuring. Like wanting so much to get better but NOT knowing what’s wrong with me and just wanting someone to tell me so I can fix it I’m waiting for an assessment soon and watching you talk about your experiences is really comforting and reassuring, as i don’t know anyone in real life who has had similar experiences. It can be so isolating! Do you have Instagram? I’d love to talk to you more
Dear Wyn, Thank you so so much for sharing your personal insights and knowledge and being willing to share. Wow, it really helps me understand DID and become aware of it. It is really encouraging to hear that you are doing better, and don't need therapy after all the negative therapy experiences, that you didn't give up. I bless you and pray for you that your healing journey will bless many others, and more research and knowledge for counseling on this topic. Lots of love, sarah
My sister watched this video and recognized her friend's struggles in everything you described about your therapy journey, so she shared this video with her friend, who asked for a few more videos. Long story short, this friend now has a DID diagnosis and is already making huge headway in system communication. All thanks to you and your channel! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!
Wyn oh my goodness I'm so happy for you!!! This is incredible, and hearing that you feel so confident and happy with yourself and your system after struggling so much made me tear up a little bit 💖
Wyn! Hi! I loved the video with your parents. The comments on that video are disabled so I'm letting you know here. It was a very refreshing video . Thank you for posting it
Congratulations. It's nice to hear when all your hard work and persistence paid off. It's inspiring. You were so fortunate to found your current therapist. Trauma specialists are hard to find.❤
I'm so happy to hear this. And I was heartbroken to hear your story about the army. I'm Going to see a therapist for the first time in my life this week. This is a brand new chapter for me. I am in my thirties. It's starting late but it's been long overdue. I always knew I had to. Just never done it. There's so much locked inside... Anyways. I found the dissociadid channel because I was searching up stuff on depression, anxiety and severe PTSD. It caught my attention right away. Then through their wonderful channel I saw yours in my recommendation. That's how this all began. And so this week I will be seeing someone who is greatly known for their hypnosis work. I feel that the time has come. I'm ready. And I thank you and the dissociadid for getting this ball rolling
Sometimes a Dr will end therapy when you're no longer actually doing the emotional work, to promote change and healing and also when the Dr/ Clinician realizes there is nothing more they can do- because the client is invested in living this way.. Have a awesome day
I'm very grateful for your video. It's easy to follow, and it's inspiring how therapy worked for you, even if it took so long. I'm not through your video yet, but you pull me right in. When you said you were skipping school more frequently and you had this shock moment with a truck, I started to completely step away though, as I feel like I've seen your video before because these sentences seemed so familiar to me, but I have no memory of it. It's scary, many things resonate with me, but even though I experience different levels of dissociation, my diagnosis is BPD. Only recently I've figured out how to step out of dissociation so that an age regressed state comes out whenI was in hospitalization and I think this could be a key to work with past trauma I absolutely have no memory of with my regular therapist.
your story is amazing and just shows it gets better! i'm so happy for you and your system. having a good therapist does so much for a person. i'm still on the search for one, but this gives me hope.
This video is so awesome to see, I just started my therapy journey fairly recently. And it's hard to see what happens when you feel better when you don't feel better yet. So thank you for sharing.
Congratulations! Only started watching recently but this video has to be my favourite. You're as brave as anyone I've ever seen. Plus your sweater is amazing!❤️
I've felt like I've needed therapy for the past 11 years but I feel like you do now. I have nothing to talk about. When I have episodes of anxiety and depression I could make you a list of things wrong with me that I need to work on but I can't recall them normally. I used to have a journal I wrote in but it hurt to read..I never wanted to read what I wrote it hurt it was stupid and worthless. And then there's days like today where I had a bad dream and I'm sad for nothing yet here I am thinking something is wrong with me... I don't have a clue how I'm to find a therapist with all this up and down
Amandalorian I relate to your struggle to remember episodes of anxiety and depression. I’ll get to therapy and have nothing to talk about unless I bring my journal. When things are too hard to write down I’ve taken to just writing bullet points about whatever it was.
such a lovely and inspiring video. sorry to hear about your bad experiences with the psych ward and the military. thank you for sharing your experiences with therapy, I really appreciate it 💖 💖
You seem like such a wonderful person, Wyn! I would love to sit down with you, over coffee or something, get to know you (& the others!) better! ❤️ Congrats on leaving therapy for a while. Such a big step!! 😍 Plus you look beautiful in that cozy sweater and makeup!
I've also achieved it recently - I've noticed that I'm improving and, in general, I am actually feeling good. Having felt like trash for my whole life, I've overcome it this February by getting to know my past better. I'm super proud of myself and of you all!
Our biggest challenge has been trying to find the right practitioners and modalities to work with. A lot more damage has been done on this journey which really disheartened us. We now have some amazing practitioners, two of which have DID.
