Living with Borderline Personality Disorder 

“no one knows what it took to become this gentle” is a quote that i think everyone should come across and it relates to the message within this video ❤️ beautiful episode!

“In order to be heard I had to take it to an extreme” yes. And teach them a lesson.

navigating the world with BPD is so hard. relationships, friendships, loving myself, all of it. it’s so so hard. no one teaches you what to do with such strong feelings.

I have depression and BPD and no one ever understands. People with BPD are thought to be explosive and angry but when I split I get depressive and suicidal. You insult me I don’t want to punch you, I have a panic attack and start crying. BPD is easily one of the most misunderstood mental disorders out there. We still have a long way to go when it comes to the research but Im glad that people like Priscilla are talking about it and spreading awareness ❤

She is so aware of her wording, her body language, and the thoughts she allows to flow in and out. A truly remarkable woman who I definitely now look up to. ❤

“You did It because you did It, there’s no pass because you’re a trauma victim” beautifully said. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders girl, keep up the great work, thank you for sharing your story!!!

the amount of times I’ve told myself “it wasn’t rape, it could’ve been worse, was it really that bad” is so upsetting. We didn’t deserve that.

as a therapist, you can hear and see THE WORK she has put in! 👏🏼❤️

the part about not comparing your problems to being less impactful as others (her classmates drinking more than her, so she felt she wasn’t as bad as an alcoholic) really hit me and gave me a super new perspective on how it’s so much easier to be like “well this person does much worse than me” rather than facing your own issues and putting in the effort to fix them, really helpful in my healing process right now.

Priscilla is SO GOOD at telling her story. When she said BPD is "an exaggerated form of self protection" it really perfectly encapsulated a loved one of mine who lives with BPD and is sometimes hard for me to understand. Priscilla really put this all into perspective for me in a way where I can now have much deeper understanding of why this person thinks and acts the way they do. Thank you so much for giving her a platform to share her experience, I'm really deeply touched by this episode💙

the anger and resentment towards men is so real. I've been hurt so bad that i just... struggle to really trust any of them. The ones i do have in my life are few and far in-between and they are the only ones that see me as a person and dont sexualize or fantasize about my bpd. Hearing that was super reassuring in a weird way.

I just became a DBT therapist. When she started talking about validation & the biosocial theory, I knew she is in DBT. 😌 super proud of you! I’m happy you are working on your life worth living♥️

I have bpd and I've heard a lot about wilderness programmes, they're really disgusting and not beneficial in general and honestly there should be more laws involving them, there have been actual cases of people dying during them because of how bad the circumstances there were.

i was diagnosed w bps just before i turned 15. it sucks. i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. thanks for this episode. we aren’t all evil drama queens, we’re hurt people.

diagnosed with bpd as a teen (which from what ive heard is rare) cannot fathom as to why people think this is some quirky "yandere" illness. its not, its awful and im glad more people are speaking out about their experiences.

i absolutely respect her journey, but one part where she talks about her reaction to the sexual assault at the frat party made me sad for her. i think all women NEED to respond to assault with violence/threats. men need to LEARN. i don't have BPD, but i am a survivor and if a man tried to assault me again...he's not going unharmed or without the threat of harm.

"An exaggerated form of self protection" used to describe BPD is so accurate. I've lived this. You really hit the nail on the head.

When i realized i had bpd, i was suicidal for at least a year. I felt like it was a curse. But i have to remind myself that everyone is struggling somehow, not just me. Not just mental illnesses, but physical ones i dont have to deal with. Just have to take it day by day and believe in yourself. Some days are good and some days are bad. That acceptance has saved my life. My therapist once told me that bpd is kind of like having broken heart syndrome. Something hurt you so badly and now you have this tornado of emotion, deep sadness and intense anger and self-shaming thoughts, it's almost like you hold an eternal grudge for your trauma. It was an interesting way of looking at it. And understanding that more has helped me somewhat disconnect from my trauma and see it as something that happened to me but is not happening right now. Im safe now. How it formed for me was being abandoned by my dad, my mom being a narcissist and having untreated bpd and would split on us constantly, and going to a private catholic school as a huge outcast. Immediately abandoned, loved one day hated the next by my mom, and being the weird girl. Really put a chip on my shoulder. I was also invalidated as well when I was 13 and threatened suicide and my mom laughed and told me to make sure I do it right so she doesn't have to take care of a vegetable. I also used to cut my wrists around that age really hoping a teacher would notice and ask me what was wrong so I could get help, but they never cared. I just felt very uncared for, unloved, and unliked from a very young age. Then as an adult I had a really shitty experience where i told a guy to stop touching my friend at a club and he said he touches whoever he wants and kissed me. I dont think i've ever felt more rage in my life. But him and his friends had guns on them. They got kicked out, but just came back 20 minutes later. Here I am self-pitying again, but have to remind myself it's the past and right now I am safe. I just still have so much sadness and anger inside of me

BPD truly sucks, it controls every aspect of your life. It's not fair I didn't have the opportunity to self-regulate my feelings in a healthy way like others, you can't control your environment when you're just a child. I related to when Priscilla talked about the rage she felt towards men, I know that feeling very well. Comorbidities can very much occur which makes it all so confusing and you get sucked in and caught up with labels. We need more mental health awareness, proper health insurance, higher standards for psychiatrists and therapists. I've had to and still have to jump hurdles to get the help I need. I'm glad the guest brought up "self validation" because it's very important for your healing.

YES. Thank you dev, when I watched the past podcast of living with a mother with BPD it was tough but it also was clear that the mother’s voice wasn’t necessarily being heard and neither were her emotions. I’m so glad that someone actively living with BPD and experiencing firsthand everything that comes with it was able to come on the podcast and share her experiences!!

She's well-spoken, and paints a picture of her experience. I relate to being in the hood and asking a dope dealer on the block to buy me alcohol. I look forward to the rest of this episode!

“that’s exactly why i need to share it, i need people to see this was always me. i’ve always been a generous kind little girl even when i was out here wylin i was still volunteering” as someone who finally healing in my experiences with bpd this really touched me

I also have BPD and CPTSD, and one thing I’ve noticed for sure is that each person with BPD thinks and feels completely different and we are not all the same. It’s like we are a the same base of cupcake but with completely different flavors and sprinkles on top. Metaphorically speaking. Blows my mind. Especially that so many people have it.

She’s the first person who describes bpd accurately for me

I really needed to listen to her story today. because I have bpd too and am in the depressed phase right now. in which I can't see any improvement and I don't believe it when others tell me that things are getting better. hearing her tell her story and hearing her say, that she's bpd free with her medication, makes me so much hope!

What a strong, smart and self aware woman. I cried for her for all of her struggles and all she went through but I cried harder for all she overcame. You are going to change the world…even if you help 10 people, 100 people or 1,000,000 people…you will help change the world of/for those people! Thank you for sharing your story Priscilla! ❤

Misdiagnosed Bpd…gemini…childhood SA/trauma…ED…substance abuse…Michigan… scary how much we have in common😳 thanks for sharing❤️

Survived living in a residential treatment facility for 14 months, about an hour from St. George. These “troubled teen” facilities are ALL OVER Utah and there is absolutely no oversight

her vocabulary is amazing omg

Priscilla you are so eloquent and your intelligence just shines in all your words and thoughts. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences, and I especially loved what you said about not being trapped by cultural stereotypes.

Honestly this episode is incredibly moving. I don't have anyone in my life currently who has BPD besides myself. Its nice to have a video representing such a difficult disorder💜

I did the work this year. DBT Therapy, DMT, Ketamine therapy, and hypnotherapy and for the first time in 12 years…I’m at peace. I have learned coping strategies and I feel in control. I can now be direct, I also do not need to respond. I am able to separate genuine relationships from those that trigger me. As someone that’s been in and out of the mental hospital all my life I’m proud of myself. Do the work for yourself.

This really made me feel less alone because I struggle with ocd and I come from a Mexican household too so it made me feel less alone. Thank you !!

I recently got diagnosed with bipolar, and I'm 21 years old. I've went through my adolescence untreated, but I always knew I was different from my peers. My emotions and relationships were always more intense and unpredictable than others. Borderline is an entirely separate disorder, but I find many of the symptoms overlap. I am now finally getting treatment from a therapist that works for me, after negative experiences from mental health professionals from the past. This video was so insightful, and I felt myself relating to so much she was saying. One of the most well-spoken guests so far. Her story is very inspirational knowing that I am on the path of getting better in my own way. I hope she continues pursuing what she loves and helping others feel less alone :)

as someone struggling with bpd this video meant a lot

Living with a grandmother with BPD. It's not easy, but I love her.

as a teen with BPD and was diagnosed as a teen thank you for seeing light on the disorder. there are so many people with stigmas that we are crazy killers with no hope and people who plead insanity in court to try and get away with their crimes or if they don't have a disorder (because BPD is seen as a catch-all diagnosis sometimes, horrible stigma) they use BPD as an excuse. It is so refreshing to see a more normal/common and realistic depiction of BPD I wouldn't wish anyone to have BPD, it's exhausting, and it sucks... I get seen immediately as an evil drama queen a lot... I just have trauma and was hurt when I was young. I just have trouble regulating the intensity of my emotions, doesn't mean I'm feeling the wrong emotion for the situation... I have triggers that didn't just show up for no reason. we are not scary evil drama queens... BPD isn't an excuse its an explanation BPD is the explanation for 95% of my issues. “In order to be heard I had to take it to an extreme” is basically what it is. this disorder sucks but not unhelpable. I am living with it and I'm proud... it takes work and dedication but I did it and living so much better healthily and happier

To Priscilla: thank you so much for sharing your story. You are so strong for sharing this with the world. As someone who is struggling with borderline as well this has impacted me greatly. To hear someone express such deep and similar emotions to me was so validating. I have never related to anybody more in my life. Please know you are helping people by sharing your story, no matter how hard it is. This was very healing for me; to see somebody who processes emotions and has experienced such similar traumas and behaviors as me. I don’t know you, but I am so proud of you. I wish you the best life and for you to find peace, you deserve it 💗

I suffered severe depression several years ago. I could remember several years ago after divorce with my husband which brought me into my disastrous journey on Alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with cptsd. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.

I really appreciated this episode. Something that I was observant of is that in response to almost every single question that Dev asked, the guest responded by starting the sentence with “no” and then offering clarification. At first I found myself really curious about how this must have been for Dev as the interviewer, but more importantly, I felt happy for the guest, because what this demonstrates to me is that she is wanting to be really intentional and clear about what she’s saying, and is making an effort to ensure that she is understood. I loved llistening to this guest describe the person that she has evolved into and her thoroughness, ability to articulate herself and her experiences, and intentionality within her speech, really scratched the surface of the work that she has done. Proud of her for taking her mental health seriously despite sometimes experiencing therapist that weren’t super professional and prioritizing getting better. What a great convo!

I was incredibly excited to watch this episode! I work in mental health and BPD is highly stigmatized by the feild. It's almost like a scary campfire story with how it is described and many providers never want to have a patient who carries its diagnosis. It's a shame but stories like Priscilla's are needed for even professionals to better understand the disorder and not stereoptype it! I'm glad Priscilla explained BPD exists on a spectrum, I think everyone, including professionals only imagine someone with BPD presenting a certain way! I'm also glad healthcare and mental healthcare professionals were called out in this episode. It's indescribable how I feel when I hear about the failings of ppl I'm supposed to call colleagues! Best aspect of Priscilla's story is how much hope it instills. Ppl think things can never improve, they're a lost cause, or they have too many issues to ever live a good life and that's not true at all! It can take A LOT but ppl can acheive a better quality of life if they want it.

I really appreciate Priscilla coming on the show and sharing. I live with Borderline and usually steer clear away from any media coverage on the subject because I am so tired of the hurtful stereotypes and kitschy messages that usually come with it. Her perspective means a lot and I'm so glad people can hear from her on this and maybe learn a little more about our experience.

wow. i resonate with priscilla on so many levels. it is actually frightening. thank you so much for telling your story

Priscilla is amazing and so well spoken. this interview opened my eyes and mind, thank you to Priscilla for sharing and Devorah for having her on the podcast! ❤

Priscilla, we appreciate you coming on here and speaking on these very sensitive topics! Such a great speaker!

"if I cud do it, anyone can" That one really hit home for me. Hearing your story with all the craziness involved, then hearing how you've completely turned your life around...it's the first time I've felt real hope in a long time. I'll take that line with me! Thank you so much, such an inspiring episode in so many ways!

I’m crying on my way home listening to this. I needed this. I have so many similar pieces to my story as Pricilla. Molested at a young age by a family member, invalidated by my family, abandoned by my parents emotionally. I went through eating disorder, depression, thoughts of suicide and so much. I’m pretty sure I have personality disorder. I’m just happy I’m at a place where I’m safe in my life and on my journey to heal these triggers and pains that hold me. Thank you pricilla for sharing! I really love seeing someone winning after so much. It gives me hope that I will be okay one day too! Thank for you for this video and sharing.

Thank you for sharing 🙏 I resonate a lot with your story. You should be so proud of your growth, self-healing and vulnerability ❤

I’m 18 and grappling with my BPD on the daily. Therapy really helps but it’s a lot of work and patience and self control that you feel goes into behaving like one thinks other could naturally. Thank you for this one

Priscilla this was so fascinating hearing your story thank you for sharing I’m sure you’re helping a lot of people watching this. Devorah another great interview your amazing 👌❤️👍

Honestly I just want to say this channel is amazing for literally giving people the time and platform to tell their story.. you actually listen and let us listen too. 🙏🏼

This is super relatable to me as a fellow borderline Gemini thank you for the honest story’s. Wish you the best in life

Please interview a DID system next! I am fascinated and heartbroken by that condition and I'd be super interested to hear about how a system works.

Wasn’t diagnosed with bpd till I was 21. I held in my assault till I was 21 and it happened when I was around 4. When I finally was diagnosed it was a sigh of relief to have something to name and not just feel insane. Its been a rough road but I’m so glad I’m able to understand myself better now and I’m sober almost two years and have a career and life going for me. It sucks that there isn’t more accurate awareness about bpd and we go almost our whole childhood just thinking we’re crazy.

This was such a great story. I feel she is a prime example of not letting something define you. Priscilla has thrived and achieved great things while dealing with BPD and multiple traumas that the average person would fear of even thinking. Thank you so much for sharing and wishing the best for you and your family!!!

THIS IS AMAZING!! So real, so raw and really makes me put into perspective a lot of the reckless behavior I have due to childhood trauma. Thank you so much for speaking, and being vulnerable! ❤

Really great interview. Thanks for sharing your story. I have a family member with us and well I wish she’d get better. She’s in those crazy years and has block dog contact. It’s so hard it was nice hearing someone on that side she may have your same zodiac sign also. I just appreciate how eloquently you were able to share and helped me understand a lot about myself and my loved one. Thank you again.

I struggled with BPD for a decade. I’ve overcome it (mostly) and I do have my ups and downs but you can undo most of what’s been done. I hope anyone reading this finds healing. Gratitude, book, mindfulness, and nature helps.

Amazing interview. I have bpd too and it’s very hard to live with and extremely misunderstood

Wow wow wow ❤ when she said “Kind generous. That’s really me. Even when I was out here wilin’ But the unhealed trauma had me under the influence, that was the gateway drug, That I was consuming. All that pain. That transformed me into someone I wasn’t proud of” what an amazing young woman I’m in literal awe 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

I like discussions like these because not only does it maybe help people realize they might have mental health issue. It can also help people who dont have it be more understanding. Humans just need to learn how to communicate with one another by learning about different personality types and what not

Just wow. The way this helps understand myself and my reactions to being invalidate and how triggering the smallest form of it can be … just wow 🥺

i remember having a party phase it was reckless it never stopped i was always in the worst situations its really crazy to look back on now that ik why i did all of it

thank you for helping to clear the stigma 🥰😍💕 it means so much to hear another's experience.

Thank you so much for this episode! I have bpd and i live in a very underdeveloped country so this video is gonna help me so much, especially with explaining certain aspects of bpd! ❤

They way I BEEN wanting this episode! Manifested it fr 🙏 thank you so much from this I can 10000% relate to her feels good to hear it from someone else W vid

It’s so crazy how much this reminds me of how I feel. I’ve had no idea how to explain it.

I’ve known so many people w/ addiction/trauma/BPD due to my own struggles with addiction, and rarely do I see someone with so much intelligence and introspection. It’s to the point no offense to people but that you are “normal”. Like that you can fit into society and hold a position of status in the workplace and speak elegantly. It’s so unfamiliar to me to see someone who presents in this way with the addiction or mental health issues they’ve had. It’s very impressive.

Thank you for being so brave to share. So much of it was so relateable. Except I never went to that torture camp. Im so happy youre doing better now. Youre such an inspiration ♡

Having BPD is like living in hell sometimes. Im too scared to get into relationships now because of how much they impact me. My last breakup I had a panic attack for a week straight because I didnt know how to breathe without this other person in my life. Its awful.

I love that you let the guests talk for so long

I loved hearing her speak very self aware and articulate .

Fantastic interview and the guest was really great.

I was diagnosed with BPD about 3 years ago, I just want to say thank you so much for sharing your story. This disorder is so misunderstood, and it felt super validating to hear her story and journey. I still feel very lost when it comes to having a handle on my mental illnesses if I'm being honest and I'm just kinda scared for myself and my future

Today's generation is really blessed. In the old days it was electroshock therapy, locked up in an asylum where who knows what would happen to the women specifically, or maybe lithium were you could OD easily. Now there is online talk groups and support so you don't feel so alone. There is DBT therapy. And for some that need something right away more med options. Plus there are parents more open to therapy to try and pass down as little as possible on the next generation. (For those who have the means and realize it)

such an amazing women. i am going through a lot of healing and trauma and figuring/unpacking soo much, this gives me so much hope

Great interview, thank you of sharing. I listened to the entirety. I especially liked the bit on faith as well. God bless.

Great episode and thank you for this beautiful lady for sharing her story. I can relate to this as this was most of my young life. It all stems from childhood trauma. But BPD is something that can be worked on with therapy and inner work. It is not a diagnosis for a mental disorder more so a personality disorder that can be healed.

her intelligence just radiates. i love her

Thank you for speaking. For my own drinking issues I had learned through another person on this platform that I actually had some issues myself. For me it was a deep dive into the concept of addicts make rules for themselves on their substance then break those rules. My rule was I don’t black out in front of people. Broke that rule. Quit for a while. I don’t black out in my mothers home. Broke that rule too. That was my major turning point. This video is also making me realize I should maybe look into being evaluated for BPD. So thank you for speaking!

I don't even know where to start. There are so many experiences I've had that mirror her exact issues, I'm only diagnosed bipolar type 2 and have yet to be rediagnosed since I've had an idea for years towards this disorder so I can receive proper care. I'm just glad she's gotten this far! ❤ I would love to hear more about this lady I hope she returns to this platform I want to hear more about her life

Tbh, this video made me feel like I might have some sort of BPD. My sister has it, my father exhibited symptoms of it, and while I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and adhd, I absolutely wasn't as honest with my doctors as she was. A lot of what she says that she felt and experienced, I remember feeling and doing when I was younger and have struggled with my entire life. I stopped sharing my thoughts and feelings with most other people because I always felt like they would throw me in the looney bin, which they probably would lol. Her stories and experiences have been some of the only ones that I've ever really felt like I've experienced too, and that's super humbling to me. I had to deal with a lot and correct a lot of my behavior and thinking patterns on my own, and with this video, I feel like I'm able to seek help for my other issues that I'm still working through on my own, without feeling like I'm crazy and while having a starting place for seeking help. That's awesome! Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and thank you for giving her a platform to share them with us!! 😊 Take care!

the first time i tried getting help for my issues i went with the first psychiatrist that was available, within 10 min of talking she diagnosed me with bipolar and gave me SSRIS, which change the chemistry in your brain. this messed me up so bad that i stopped everything & didnt get help again. i feel for her & im glad she was able to move forward from people not really listening to her. if you are unsure of your mental health professional you are probably right because you know yourself the most & you should seek out better ones ❤

Besides any disorder we're all human.❤️

“in order to be heard, i had to take it to an extreme” i felt this way to much as a person who also has bpd.

It has been a long time since i have had someone i could genuinely say i admire and look up to. I am 23 now and for as long as i can remember i loved to read and write. Some of my esrliest memorys are of my mom reading to ke ajd my sisters early in the morning as we all lay in her bed before school. She was very animated and i honestly believe she is a HUGE part in the reasoning behind why i grew up loving books and why i still do. Anyways- Priscilla is so, so, so, sooooo, well spoken and as much as i love to read and write and as many people tell me that i am good at it when they read what i write, unfortunately i am not as good at talking, espefially without having it writen down. I tend to stumble on my words and backtrack, i lost some of my hearing when i was in a coma at 22 due to an overdose snd my heart stopping. So even though i struggled with a lisp and the volume i spoke at al my life, now i struggle even more forgetting that even though i can hear and understand ehat im saying most likely im speaking too low and too fast for everyone else. Well i dont really leave comments but she deserves one, i want to get back into writing as i stopped a little after my mom died

Have almost all of the symptoms and even brought it up to my therapist my concerns but am yet to be diagnosed. I feel feelings too much and to the point of hurting myself to relieve the pain. I always thought my carefree way of living life was a positive thing but I can see how it can be dangerous bc a healthy fear of situations and violence is needed and possibly that is blocked with borderline making it an exciting thing or just part of our life but that is not normal I am learning. Thank you for sharing this it really helps to be able to compare experiences

She didnt reveal that much but she was still so brave

Being a Gemini Borderline Personality I understood so much of this

I have never met anybody who’s story and battles have been almost identical to mine when it comes to ways of coping with trauma. Borderliner and Gemini as well. I feel heard, seen, understood. The mirroring is insane! Thank you for sharing this! 🙏🏻🙏🏻

BPD is probably the cause of 90% of my issues

Thank you Priscilla for helping me feel seen today ♥️

I have bpd and the topic matter, especially when talking about her first relationship hit so close to home... it's hard to leave abusers when they're remorseful. It really perpetuates the cycle

I understand exactly where you're at. My former girlfriend has the same. She is a great loving lovely person. But in an episode motivated by alcohol she would become dangerously manic. Still love and miss her.

I relate to a lot of these experiences; there have been times I've wondered if I'm Borderline or not, but I do have OCD and autism which combined can manifest in a similar way.

I’ve been sleeping on these podcast. I’m obsessed now

i went to wilderness when i was 16 it is so traumatizing yet very helpful

i admire how she still expressed her true self. This is raw, real footage of what the reality of mental health can be and what lack of support or knowledge can lead humans to destruction. im thankful i see her life experience and I can understand other people a bit more.

I am going through my own healing journey, now 24 years old. I also was molested by my grandfather .. this is making me reflect more and dig deeper. Thank you for speaking your truth and helping us strangers.

excited to watch this episode 💕