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Love & Money: 5 Awkward Questions Answered (feat. Ramit Sethi) (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

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One thing no one ever warns you about happy relationships is just how many awkward conversations they can require you to have.
And despite all the big ones of politics, religion and family - I find one topic almost no one wants to talk about is money.
Who should pay on a date? Should you be honest with your partner how much money (or debt) you have? How do you handle it when one of you earns significantly higher income in a relationship than the other?
These are all hugely important, and yet most people bury their heads in the sand and hope these issues will magically work themselves out if you’re truly in love (pro tip: they won’t).
So in this week’s video, I sat down with my good friend Ramit Sethi, bestselling author and CEO of "I Will Teach You To Be Rich," to learn exactly how to have these difficult conversations so you can feel happy and secure about money in your relationship.
I’ve never talked about this before, so I can’t wait to hear your comments on this one...
Appearance by RAMIT SETHI
Ramit Sethi
iwillteachyoutoberich.com
@ramit
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Опубликовано:

17 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 376

@SaintOrCinema 5 лет назад

PLEASE make a love and money series! An entire series of collabs together on this topic! LOVED it

@sofiancvstar13 5 лет назад

I love how mature and straightforward the answers are

@TheMissnola 5 лет назад

This could have been a 30-60 minute conversation and I would not have lost interest.

@valerieewing4023 5 лет назад

I agree with the answer to question 1. First marriage ended because our visions didn't line up (though he said they did). Actions speak louder than words.

@TheElbell3 5 лет назад

Having a joint AND separate bank accounts is brilliant! Thank you for this video

@tia2083 5 лет назад

Yes it is. But what do you when your partner takings money out of the joint account for their own needs? Essentially using it as their own ATM.

@anoukc6928 5 лет назад

We've been doing that since we live together. That was an obvious choice for us.

@anoukc6928 5 лет назад

@@tia2083 tell him to use is own account! Joint account is for common expenses (grocery, rent, etc.)

@tia2083 5 лет назад

@@anoukc6928 I have. Many times. He says that he doesn't have money and need to for food and work.

@anoukc6928 5 лет назад

@@tia2083 seems like your partner doesn't know how to manage his finances. Does he make a budget? Does he know how much is spending and on what?

@sarawalsh4660 5 лет назад

When you give a gift to someone you give it free and clear of any expectations if you can’t do that then you don’t give the gift because it’s not a gift it’s a bargaining chip at that point

@happyypigeons 5 лет назад

That last question is very important. It's very hard when "treating" for big expenses turns into blackmail or simply thrown in one's face. If I don't go on that fancy trip I can't afford but he/she can, it brings us further apart; and if I go, then I feel guilty; and anxious with the possibility it WILL be thrown in my face later. Even if it's subtle or joking. I feel BAD that someone has to pay for me. Sometimes you just don't win in relationships. I wish I had more money to make the relationship more smooth - but the reality is I don't. It's a real problem when salaries don't match up.

@melissaberry8810 5 лет назад

Before you get serious with someone make sure you sync with their approach to money. And if I want to pay for my own meal I will go out to eat with my kids or with my friends. It takes a fair amount of effort to get ready for a date, know your value ladies.

@liliyabaneva 5 лет назад

If the man is not investing, he is not trying hard... I’m now seeing a younger guy, who did not invest much and now he seem to relax and flirt with other girls on Instagram. By the way, Matthew, could you please observe the question of online cheating? Instagram has so many hot bodies that this makes men go and every time look for something better and better and better... this is really painful! I told him it’s unacceptable for me that he is looking through Instagram girls as if he was looking for someone else , he says “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again”, “I love you and only you” but then continues doing the same... now we don’t see each other that often anymore either. He seem to look for attention from all the girls and not only from me... it never happened to me before. I hate cheating and I never would forgive it...

@mehimtired1013 5 лет назад

If the man says "I won't do it again, I promise, I only love you" and keeps doing it again and again, even if it's not cheating, it means (*with all due respect*) that he's bored of the relationship. If you have already talked to your partner about this topic and stated how much this bothers you and that you don't like it and he keeps doing it, it means that he doesn't care enough of you to actually give your word the importance that it deserves. Just saying that if this was me, this relationship is going on and off and it's kind of toxic so I would break it off and move on. 👋👋👋👋👋

@slobodankaarambasic4961 5 лет назад

You know Lillya, you wrote that he is younger. I used to date a younger guy and the situation was kind the same. And please listen to what I'm saying: IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU. He simply maybe isn't ready at this stage of his life. I was crazy about that younger guy, invested a lot of money, he did not because he didn't have it AND when he did, he prioritized other things and people. I think it was my mistake because I wasn't aware enough and didn't take care of myself first. Sometimes we just have to let them go...

@nikenrst662 5 лет назад

Agree

@claudiaclaudia8599 5 лет назад

If he’s under 30 it’s the high testosterone level that drives his behavior.Don’t expect him to commit to you and only you.

@JCFrigid 5 лет назад

You seem innocent enough, but you gotta let the man have his fill

@TheChuckTV 5 лет назад

I gain so much knowledge through your video’s Matthew - and I’m a guy 😌 thanks man, appreciate your videos!

@mariskabishop3667 5 лет назад

I wonder how many guys watch these videos?!

@JCFrigid 5 лет назад

The way Matthew talks is gross - almost gay

@TheChuckTV 5 лет назад

JCFrigid excuse me? 😂 what’s wrong with being gay? You’re saying that as if it’s an offence? - get your head out your arse.

@JCFrigid 5 лет назад

@@TheChuckTV You should have seen Matthew before when he was gearing his content towards men! Very cool. Now, men who watch him... eh

@svetluskamcz 5 лет назад

@@JCFrigid Before you say something stupid again..do some research.. Matthew is dating Camila Cabello!!

@e-bedai 5 лет назад

I don’t know why people disliked this video, the subject of finances in relationships in my opinion is very relevant and cannot be ignored. Thank you Matt for the video, I have learnt that how we communicate it just as important if not more important than what we have to say.

@GalacticWoman 5 лет назад

My ex partner had student and other debts and I was the higher earner. It didnt work well as he would plead to buy things for him . I felt like his mother at times!..

@brunnamclean477 5 лет назад

Swings and roundabouts. 1. Appreciate your partners position (I mean understand it, feel it, and be respectful of it) 2. Come to an agreement. Put it further in the future if it's not feasible for one of you, offer to pay (only if you actually want to), or don't go. Attacking your partner is not a road to a happy place.

@SXLEOPARDSKINNED 5 лет назад

The last part about emotional and psychological bullying should be talked about more often

@annam.3300 5 лет назад

Bullying point was so true!

@Intuition.recognition 5 лет назад

Awesome guys! I Personally believe in my own experience that as long as you are honest and you are speaking authentically and in that confident energy towards your partner about these kinds of things, You cannot go wrong. These topics create a level of vulnerability that a lot of people are intimidated by so I think it’s attractive and it’s extremely sexy when people can open up like that and genuinely speak about these things. 👌🏼😊🤜🏻🤛🏻

@artluver1329 5 лет назад

Great video dudes! Being upfront about debt (better not even having any 😁) and picking up the tab every so often. However, I do hate when your partner keeps mental notes of every penny and is always throwing it in your face - immature!

@kelli8841 5 лет назад

This is probably the best topic. This is where a bulk of my questions surrounding relationships right now... it was a big part of the puzzle that didn't fit from the beginning of my marriage that I glazed over and just took control over, however, it eventually being the piece that kept us at arms length and caused a lot of resentment. Now that I'm beginning a new relationship, it's hard to not be looking at those spending habits and critiquing the financial choices they are making... especially when the relationship is rather new and I may not have the whole story.

@Betterboundariesnowteensupport Год назад

Crucial conversations so relevant now, this was ahead of its time.

@sun_in_window 5 лет назад

Hi Matt! Thank you for video! In Germany if a Woman offers half-half it means that it will always stay so. They are very emancipated here.... But in Russia a man will be offended if the Woman offers to pay. So its very dependant on the Culture.

@EgleMakaraite 5 лет назад

Nina Fedorova same in Lithuania and some other cultures too! And living in the US it’s hard to know what the man expects culturally ! Because as we all know - men are usually awful communicators.

@sun_in_window 5 лет назад

Egle Makar you are right. Even though I had the Impression, that for a guy in USA it is a must to pay a bill.... Anyway trying to pay on the third Date would be a Good advice- like „I want to contribute too“, Even if he doesnt accept that :)

@EgleMakaraite 5 лет назад

Nina Fedorova I think the most annoying things about dating are 1) Not knowing when you’re being offensive (because he assumes you know or just doesn’t communicate that he’s offended); and 2) When you communicate that you’re offended, being ignored // not heard. I hate having to guess and I hate having to repeat and explain myself a million times.

@sun_in_window 5 лет назад

hibernia89 the thing is- i dont want to Split, i just want to be polite 😅

@EgleMakaraite 5 лет назад

Nina Fedorova Same. To me, if a guy doesn’t want to pay, he doesn’t care about me or about impressing me. I hate when I tell men I’m a feminist and they think that means we split the bill - no. If men and women were paid the same across the world, and if legislators were not mostly men, thus making life as a woman more expensive and essentially subtly treated as a disability in terms of laws and economics, then I would be happy to pay half. But since the world is structured in such a way that men get paid more so they can spend that money on women, if you don’t spend money on me that means you don’t see me as your woman. One time I offered to pick up a check on a first date with a guy. He said yes, and I never spoke to him again. And also, if I want to pay half for dinner or an event, then I can just go with a friend, because I do that with friends already anyway. So if a guy ever lets me pay half, at least as society is right now, he instantly friend-zones himself.

@gloriazdrilic539 5 лет назад

The most useful part for me: don’t focus on your current job if you’re can’t stand it rather talk about what excites you and your concrete plan how you’re going to get there where you want... also watch the energy and tone while talking about financial or any other difficulties you might have with your partner

@SeanLei 5 лет назад

*Insightful video on money & relationships! Money should be a topic that's no longer taboo.*

@Mariellalk 5 лет назад

I really enjoyed the talk! Please continue doing that, because relationships are multifaceted and one part of them is finance! From this talk, I will keep the indirect/subtle psychological bullying that exists when a partner earns more! Thank you and looking forward to more collabs😊

@mehasharma4124 5 лет назад

The last part... I just realised this right now that I kind of bully my partner not financially but more psychologically like I did that for you, I'm the one who's always working and I think in future I will definitely bully my partner on financial basis. So I'm gonna stop right now and work on this issue. Thank you both!! Love you Matthew 😘😘

@dudette2c 3 года назад

Good for you for reflecting and acting on it!

@tinalin5994 Год назад

Love the conversation and Q&A! We need another video (or even series) about this same topic from the both of you!

@chai3173 5 лет назад

I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS !!! Okay i wanna share something that happened to me last night with this lovely community, yesterday i watched video that a friend recommended, a video called " The ONE Girl Who Tempts 99.9% Of Guys" and i was so confused after watching it, i honestly disliked his approach and the way he's delivering his idea, many people in the comment got the idea wrong as well ! And it's just completely different and less real than Mathew's videos ! Now watching a video like this treating a subject so real and so important is just mind blowing !!!!! SO THANK YOU

@adamdownes4725 5 лет назад

Rightly or wrongly I think it’s best as a guy to put dating on hold until finances are in order. Not only is money required for a lot of activities, but there’s just so many women out there that as hard as it is to admit, aren’t attracted to a guy AT ALL if he’s not doing well for himself like regardless of anything else!! Better to be in a position of strength than of lack.

@jenniferpolicastro4666 5 лет назад

I found the whole video very interesting and helpful. All though right now because I am single nothing directly applys I find it great information for the future. I think the best information here was to not make a big deal of the finances. I also see someone who throws the way they have provided for someone at them toxic. Plus I have always liked the saying of " If the women doesn't offer to pay, she wasn't raised right and if he doesn't pay he wasn't raised right." I agree with it 100% and thought how Ramit said on the 3rd or 4th date to be more insistent and actually pay. Thank you for all the advice you provide. It helps a lot.

@ruthtarran1806 5 лет назад

Know your debt level, and live within your means

@UrUrbanRockstar 5 лет назад

Live below your means. That's how you save for retirement 👍

@rupesh3812 3 года назад

www.digistore24.com/redir/341524/RupeshChy/

@CRebel2024 7 месяцев назад

Absolutely willingness and proactice approach to deal withbsomething that wasn't before for a single person, now in an relationship may be an issue, is a key!

@amyvanslambrook 5 лет назад

Definitely loved this and would LOVE to see more! 💗As a relationship psychotherapist and life coach, I see these two things so intertwined in the success of relationship. They can be amazing ways to love one another...or to tear two apart. Thanks for doing this!

@heidigillespie3719 5 лет назад

I really like the idea of a joint account plus separate ones. I always imagine amalgamating once a relationship is long term but at the same time I’m very independent and think this could help preserve the possibility of losing that feeling entirely. 💜 Thanks Matty

@pyreyjoy5472 5 лет назад

I love the background in this video! The whole arrangement paired with the dynamic of Matt and his guest made this a real pleasure for me to watch! Great job! I really enjoyed it!

@evildoesnotsleep-x2b 5 лет назад

you should make more videos together! these money questions were really helpful because the subject can be awkward and it lingers if one doesn't handle it correctly.

@kellycastro2003 5 лет назад

Thank you for reaffirming the importance of finances in a relationship. I feared that I was being an analytical Virgo in discussing the practicality of a potential romance. I work hard to become financial responsible and independent, so I’m grateful to have discussed a guy’s spending habits and financial plan of recovering from student loan debt. I’ll walk from this video with the advice that I don’t need to be timid or bully (I sass) when considering financial statuses. I’d hate to lose what I’ve worked hard to earn.

@NaveenAlpha 5 лет назад

this video was really great. loved to hear both emotionally and financial aspects in a relationship. am i the only guy subscribed to this guy?

@honeystorlie1778 2 года назад

Bring this guy back on the show again! He is a great and helpful guest!!!!!!

@HollyDell 5 лет назад

Love the note about the energy and plan you bring into the conversation about money!

@lovinglife2077 5 лет назад

Please be mindful of you going on a trip. ..if someone is going to miss pay from work that is a stress too. Love the tips

@staceynavalta7547 5 лет назад

i love the fact that you discussed about a woman paying if he doesn't have means.It's really something I had on my mind.

@slobodankaarambasic4961 5 лет назад

The trick is: how to find a person who will equally provide to the relationship? Who will be just as generous... And I'm not talking just about the money here. I need to start visualizing this kind of a guy. Law of attraction works, right? 😃 Anyway, lots of kisses to this community and to those two amazing gentlemen. 😘❤️😘

@esthergdn3722 5 лет назад

Thank you Guys. I always find your advice very practical, and useful! There is so much to think and talk in a relationship, especially when it comes to money. So I love the idea to be honest first of all, take actions to resolve it, and be Confident when we talk about it.

@veganvocalist4782 5 лет назад

Yes , last subject is extremely complex and this is where intimate and constant open and loving communication is a must. Remembering always our partners intent and being gracious in receiving gifts of both a treat and the gift of some one else's open hearted truth on how they feel about being treated . Generosity is both about the ability to give AND receive in many many forms

@nampiimaflavia7205 5 лет назад

Thanks Matt and Ramit. I loved the first question and answer the most. Love is important but it's just one part of the relationship. Finances are important too. ''Either change your vision or the person!"

@LiamBriggs18 5 лет назад

I really loved what you guys said with regards to debt. I dug myself into a hole a couple years ago and while I'm on a better path now, I've been so insecure about it that I just haven't approached anyone out of fear of what they might think if/when they found out. This gives me something practical to get things back on track and no longer live in fear.

@jessicamorales2555 5 лет назад

the most relevant piece of advise for me was the mixed account management: part shared, part individual. Smart idea!!!

@dharad 5 лет назад

I have never understood why one person has to pay all the time, in this day and age when both men and women are employed. Why would anyone even expect their part of the cost to always be covered by someone else? You wouldn't expect that in any other relationship, except from your parents when you are too young to pay for things.

@jorgeandrade783 5 лет назад

I think men should pay from the first date but after that I think women should be willing to pay from time to time. But general rule on the first date I think guys should take the lead and offer to pay. Especially since in most relationships men are the higher earners so it makes sense we would offer on the first date since that’s usually the structure of most relationships. but it shouldn’t be a habit where the guy always pays for everything because you can be taken advantage of if you always offer to pay. Men do like women who are at least willing to pay every once in a while.

@rupesh3812 3 года назад

www.digistore24.com/redir/341524/RupeshChy/

@mariapatra9709 5 лет назад

Love is important, but is one part of a relationship - hard to "put it into practice", but still a crucial concept. Actually..a mature one, I'd say. Not about money, but... how to react when being complimented so as not to refuse the compliments politely nor to "formally" return them?:))

@mariapatra9709 5 лет назад

I don t refuse them :) I say thank you and I smile, but I feel like there s a gap between the moment I say that and the one in which the conversation takes its course.. I think I should let people know how much did that actually mean to me 🤔

@williamizm3745 5 лет назад

Maria Pătra just say thank you smile and change topic . Don’t feel like you owe him anything.

@rupesh3812 3 года назад

www.digistore24.com/redir/341524/RupeshChy/

@ON-mw1sr 5 лет назад

I LOVE life advice! We need more! We need more videos like this!

@Nah-ah 4 года назад

I hate how short this was! More, please!

@TheLodger32 5 лет назад

First off, I love how you guys fully analyze both sides and come forth from a place of both intelligence and love. I will finally weigh in. Love is one of those things that really shows us how meaningless. Everything else pales in comparison. It is true I let my heart lead and dominate my life God gave me this heart for a reason....And my wife is beautiful. Inside and out. Even as I sit there and watch her create hundreds of fake profiles and sign onto each one of them to make them comment on her profiles to attempt to continue to blur the lines between the real truth singing in her heart and the destruction of it. I will always love her. She deserves it. We all do. Because she makes me move. And she gave me my reason. My full life's purpose. ONE LOvE

@shawnahelton5668 5 лет назад

A friend told me that you need to bond at least a little bit physically,mentally,emotionally, spiritually,financially. He said, you have a good chance of making it work. He'd been married 40+ yrs and his relationship was great.

@LitMe1 5 лет назад

Great topic, I learnt that Love is only one part of a relationship, so being in the same place and having the vision etc trumps this!

@lorlormichelle 5 лет назад

Oh my god you two are great together! Please more videos together!

@dianekeetan 5 лет назад

This was a brilliant episode! There are questions that I had lingering in my mind for years and you answered them for me. It’s hard flat out asking a guy about many of these questions, especially the student debt one. I got into a relationship where that was an underlying issue we never spoke about. Thank you so much for putting this out! I got so much value from both your perspectives.

@PRiNCESzARO 5 лет назад

This is GOLD! I do wish I saw this about month ago, would have avoided certain arguments but it still helps! Thank you Matthew!!!

@katapultleadgen Год назад

I LOVE that you've got Ramit Sethi on!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@SavannahLSullivan 5 лет назад

Great video! I most resonated with the “I make more money” conversation. Not necessarily because I had so much more money, but I planned ahead and saved money better for larger expenses. Addressing spending issues is super tough!!

@dach5266 5 лет назад

I really like this style of video and I'd love to see more!

@simonedossantos5803 5 лет назад

That’s a great video! You should make a second one on this subject! 😊

@justkatebake 5 лет назад

Great video, money matters.

@adamdownes4725 5 лет назад

It certainly does

@esthermiller3432 5 лет назад

Come at it calmly and laid back❤️ I needed that advice. Thank you both💕

@Bixdreamy 5 лет назад

Wow, yeah this exact thing happend to me. My ex gifted me a vacation for my birthday. But then at the trip he bullied me for it in a very passive agressive way. Thank you guys, that was helpful as finances ARE a big part of relationships

@YinaChow 5 лет назад

Same thing happened to me. Glad it's all over :)

@adamdownes4725 5 лет назад

Then it wasn’t for you or both of you, it was only done for HIM

@GoldenAngel- 5 лет назад

They both are Great here , would love to see those two again on a Q&A panel video maybe on men perpective?

@merlinsvdd 5 лет назад

So much fruitful sayings. It's inspirational to know all these things. Thanks.

@xxPorcupine 5 лет назад

This was so helpful, more videos like this please. Being straight up with your financial situation and lifestyle vision is def something that need to be bought up, it's a very important conversation to have. The act of offering is so easy, if he is paying for things and investing in the relationship, why not do your part and offer to pay too. Acknowledgment of the different financial success and not become resentful at it was something else I found super useful. Thanks for this guys!!

@abbymarie411 5 лет назад

Most useful to me, I really like hearing that it’s okay for me to offer to pay. I don’t want the man I date to think it should all fall on him.

@veebur56 5 лет назад

Most relevant information was the confirmation that a couple should have a joint bank account but also keep their individual accounts. That's what my husband and I did and it works wonderfully!

@marieprenton4380 5 лет назад

Hey guys, I agree 100% with almost every point you made, except for one. You are telling a woman to consider a man's finance before deciding to get together for a relation or reconsider her vision, also you are advising a woman who earns more than her man to be timid about her money, in order to feed the man ego, with the same breath you are telling the same woman she wasn't raised right because she didn't offer to pay on the first date. I was raised right,... because mama said so😉, and I have never paid or offered to pay for my first date. I prefer to date gentlemen, men who were raised right. Three dates down the line I will offer to pay for our next meal but not on the first date,. You idea for a woman to pay for the first date does not go hands in hands with everything else you said, in my humble opinion. when women are driven by feminine energy they allow their men to lead..

@irresistiblep0 5 лет назад

I dont have a problem paying for the luxury vacation or gifts but somehow when the guy let me pay for the dinner on first dates, i get some off feelings... i cant change how I feel....its ok after few months but at first is a red flag for me

@pradeep2662 5 лет назад

Well then you might wanna look for guys who earn more than you or more in general.

@oliviaalderson500 5 лет назад

I actually found this really helpful. I wasn't really expecting to because I am only 16.

@aperfectplace 5 лет назад

Love your videos..... I love the part where you said to offer to pay...I never know what to do. Being a older woman things have changed.. When I was younger a man always pays... Some men never want you to pay, and other want you to pay half all the time..

@bellagrl54 5 лет назад

This was so great!!! Loved the focus on finances, especially the sobering fact that money does matter & should be a factor in your decisions.

@anastasiyapilipas9631 5 лет назад

Great video! More about this topic would be great.

@dpharrison7 2 года назад

Be confident and competent when you speak about financial planning etc

@Mindsetolympics 2 года назад

Matthew say it again!!! People need to re evaluate the vision for their life when getting into a relationship yessss!!!

@anewloveofficial9137 5 лет назад

I had so many lessons to get from you guys and I love the idea of banking and stuff, it really makes sense to me right now why.

@steviculverwell8684 5 лет назад

I think the part about making more money than my partner and wanting go on trips. That is new territory I am in and offering it as "my treat" is a great way to put it. Thank you.

@beesontv 2 года назад

Understanding is key for the first question

@mysticstrikeforce5957 5 лет назад

Sometimes people loves competition and when one feels weak the other feeds off of it and use it to take advantage of. It's hard to balance life styles because as soon as we pay for someone that's it we all have to pay back till the day someone just gives up on you and brake up with you. That's why I think nobody should date a person just cause that person has money but date that person because you feel you want to grow old with that person.

@carolan5855 5 лет назад

I've been following his personal finance advice and I've been following your relationship advice and then you two went ahead and did this great video. :)

@ladylorena8145 5 лет назад

I like what Matthew has to say because it resonates with the real world!

@carolbottura 5 лет назад

This was useful beyond measure! Thanks!

@nancymcloughlin2931 5 лет назад

I fully agree, whoever pays is not point, it’s that you had the blessing of going! Any man or woman that would hold that over your head needs to be spoken to ! Or dumped,it’s about living together!!! Thank goodness!

@shannonsemanas9761 Год назад

Such a huge conversation, thank you for your insight.

@xb683 2 года назад

Hi Matthew, As always, I love your videos & advice. Thank you for making this one on the financial part of relationships. Would you please make a few more videos or a series on the other financial aspects of relationships? For example: -how to discuss & come to agreements on how to set up financial accounts (individual accounts + one joint account vs. one joint account vs. individual accounts) -how to discuss sharing financial responsibilities (e.g. food & utilities & etc. vs. mortgage payments & insurance fees) -how to discuss spending & investing habits & goals -how to discuss finances to know if you are compatible I hear a lot of relationships strain & break over finances. Would love more guidance on this. Best wishes, Sharon

@Littledreamer0324 5 лет назад

Show that you’re a partner worth investing in

@blackangel163 5 лет назад

Mr. Hussey, please PLEASE, send me a link to that brilliant video about when women have to tell the guy how to act, think, or treat me, that it shouldn't be a deal breaker for me. You phrased it prefectly for me that made sense, and I am acting like that right now in my current relationship, and I wish to understand and change this behavior in me. He doesn't need a drama woman.

@blackangel163 5 лет назад

And I enjoyed the joint account to still enstate a team effort but have play money on side. Wonderful.

@misd6421 5 лет назад

Exactly the questions I have been wanting answers to!! Thank you so much. I have a lot of school debt and work three jobs to ensure that I can pay my bills and get out of debt so that in my next relationship, the debt won’t seem so daunting (for me to mention to my next partner). My ex would emotionally bully me because of my debt or what he spent money on. So this video was exactly what I needed!! Thank you both!!

@shaswatichattopadhyay4245 5 лет назад

Thanks a bunch Mathew for making this and your friend too The questions are very close to my heart as I was having same questions in my dating life. Super Helpful. Gratitude 👍👍

@cunhokim7299 5 лет назад

this is an important topic to discuss. glad you made this video

@milathecoach3400 5 лет назад

Love Matthew's constant message of vulnerability and confidence, I believe that could also be brought into money. The frank conversation is important, and it could start with being self-aware of own relationship with money. If you or your partner see money as a strategy to get love or respect or have past experience of abusive relationship where money were a tool, that could influence even the lightest proposal of paying for the trip or their reaction to go AA on the bills. Patience and curiosity to discover what are ours and our partner's values and beliefs would be a good place to start.

@nadezhdakorobko3038 5 лет назад

come on, Guys! are you really gonna take an offer from a girl to go to Thailand at her expense? i don't think any masculine man will feel comfortable with that.... let's face it! we have a problem in the society today! men are not masculine enough if they can take such offers and women are not feminine enough if they can make them. Please, make more videos on this topic. I am very interested in your points of view.

@vidyapatil5352 5 лет назад

Hey Matthew Hi I am Vidya from India An impressive conversation with your friend I liked the change your vision or decision bit. Useful for me to decide my partner Thanks Love Vidya

@anukrishnan6035 5 лет назад

Vidya Patil I too from india..

@melindagibson6358 2 года назад

I’m agonising over ending a relationship with a wonderful man - who has very poor money habits. He has not saved for a rainy day, he just expects that he will inherit half his parents house when they pass away, he earns good money but he does not have enough to retire in 15 years time, he buys the latest gadgets and has a house full of ‘stuff’, and he is not able to be generous in the same way that I am generous. I have been thinking a lot about myself, my values and my own patterns. A friend said it shouldn’t matter if he has no money, to just not pay for him … but I have realised that when I have money (through good saving / budgeting and hard work) that I AM generous and I do pay more for things when with friends who have less money than me (that friend included). And I am starting to believe that I can not afford this man and that, if I stay, I will slowly erode what savings I have to cover him.

@enchantedheartunchained3481 5 лет назад

Thank you so much for this video. It is so well timed. In it i learned when talking about these things to not be timid, be both loving, and relistic when discussing these sensitive things❤ In my current relationship these are some of the questions we have been facing. And are yet to face. And we can do so with grace, and love.

@shanellewebb374 5 лет назад

I loved this video and for me its just the confidence to approach the topic with my partner and communicate the lifestyle that I would like to live and making a decision from there to either amend how I envisioned my life or move on.

@vladislava511 Год назад

I am so glad I watched this video. Thank you!

@cnj86 5 лет назад

Loved this conversation and all of the advice! I hope there are more videos on this topic in the future.

@nehathegr81 5 лет назад

In Bangalore in India, I almost always go dutch(pay 50%) from the very first date and men seem to be really happy about it. I don't think I have ever not paid for 4 dates consecutively! My Ex used to go dutch when we were not in a relationship. But, after we got into one, he would rarely let me pay for food. But, when we travelled together, we went dutch. Also, I think one of the things that a higher earning partner can do is, to stay at a cheaper place that their partner can afford. I have done that and it really makes them feel good because they see you going out of their way for their self respect. If you do it a couple of times, you set up a strong base of trust and respect, which is very important for a good future.