Many Opiate Addicts Feel That They Will Never Be Happy Again 

It really is hard to believe that its even possible to be happy without meds when you cannot remember what itslike or even if you ever were happy without meds.

Ryan you're extremely aware of the way opiate addiction affects the mind and body. I'm amazed at what you say because it's like you're reading my mind. I'm doing the running, lifting in the gym, writing my music but there's still days I feel moments of just no passion for anything and my kind keeps telling me you should just pop a Roxy and stay cool but I know I can't. It's very frustrating. Not only is this a process of recovery but a process of discovery. I'm learning how strong my mind game is and starving out that voice of deceit. I watch you brother when paws hits me. Thanks for making videos. I'm 7 days today , feel good but now it's the mind game. Thanks for reminding us how strong we really are bro.

RIP Ryan

Man before my addiction I used to love going to the gym. I would honestly go to bed thinking I can't wait for tomorrow to see what I can do next. I was steadily improving. Since my addiction it's like it's a job. I have to drag myself to the gym. I've gained 30 lbs because my diet Isn't right even though I do still workout. I believe the stuff slows the metabolism down or something. Day 3 baby and I'm going to the gym right now. Drops the mic :-)

How can you not be happy with a beard like that?!

I'm 35 days clean and still getting watery eyes, sneezing, and unhappy as hell. I can't stand living like this, and it never gets better for me.

Brother,..Thank You for these vids. From ALL of us. We are NOT alone. We all feel like this. Keep doing what you do. Again, Thx and more power to you!

Thank you for your videos my friend. They give me hope & strength.

Oh yeah thanks for sharing your videos I will be sure to share them with my S.O.

Thank you for sharing....

It's kinda cliche but the grass is 100% greener on the sober side of the fence. I'm a recovering IV drug user and never thought I'd make it; pushed my body to the brink of death but I'm here and grateful for everyday. What Ryan is saying is 💯: happiness will come.

Hi Ryan, Been battlong afdictiond for years alcohol,opiayes,adderall,benzos I have been n trmt programs,AA,NA....ECT. I dont know how i got so messed up but i also have bipolar depression. O cycle from opiates withdraw then nacl to addetall. I feel so detached now its just numbness. Saw your video and it really hit me what you said. It gave me hope and so enlightening! Thankyou

Thanks, this helped alot! I'm so gonna try harder! Psychedelics too! Yippie :)

Ur a great dude.

Hey Ry.. I have been watching your videos ever since you posted your first vid when you were doing just Free From Hell. I found those videos at the perfect time in my life, because just like you I was at my highest on 500mg of oxy and just so low at 29 yrs of age. My brother tried to help me and i would get clean for weeks at a time but always relapse bc I just couldnt cope. I am a musician and even music which I love more than anything except my friends and family I couldnt play or didnt feel good playing without being on oxy or heroin. I was lying to my only brother and things got really bad when my mother found a bunch of pills in my apartment during a casual visit and she had been suspecting for a while cause I had $19,000 in my savings account before I started using and blew every penny and then some. Borrowing money from my parents and friends and it was becoming obvious something was up bc I was so good at leading this double life. Long story short I finally was able to get honest with myself and I knew it was either jail or death and I looked in the mirror and knew I wanted a new life and actually save my life. Your videos and inspiration were so integral to my sobriety and I just wanted to say thank you. You are doing such a great thing for people and have given me inspiration to help others, just like how in a round about way you helped me. So I just wanted to say that and hope your life is as good as mine. I cant stress to others how much exercise plays such an important role in recovery. Working out, MMA training and music saved my state of mind in terms of feeling like my old self again. So keep keeping on my man and with more people like yourself we will be able to beat this thing of addiction. Take care

Day 2 of tapering, no sleep no energy. Anyone help with ideas? I want to feel again.

Say not Never be happy...but for me, never pain free...once it stopped working for pain relief - tolerance - no choice but to quit..a week ago now, no desire to go back at all, well ok, am I happy? I'm still mobility challenged & still have the on-going pain. Don't have the depenency which is good, but don't have the pain relief either on OR off it now, so....

those little victories!!!!!! heaven!!!!

Rip bro

Hey Ryan,i jeep watching your videos even at this advanced state of recovery(3months now!) And i would like to suggest you to make a video on when ppl stop getting this strong natural highs that they used to get at their early recovery and when life starts to be like it used to be like before drug usage,thats when most of people who made it succesfully through the first weeks/months of recovery begin to have fears of relapce. Anyway thanks a lot and god bless you.

my name is Angela I have been in rehab and been clean almost a month and the anxiety is crazy I cry all the time for no reason

It's been about a year since I've taken any opiates, I used for more than a decade. I went to a methadone clinic for about a year (still using for a while when I began). I had held onto a stash of suboxone while I was going to the clinic in case I needed it coming off methadone. I've been away from the clinic since October & taking as little suboxone as possible to keep from getting sick. I don't have users in my life, basically my mom, son & boyfriend are the only people I interact with. Anyway, I've been proud of myself, but this happy thing is becoming something that makes the urge to use stronger and stronger. Everyone seems tired of me lying around being depressed most of the time, I'm tired of it too. The urge is coming from that, I could happily clean the house, have fun, be affectionate if I had an opiate or even methadone maybe, still mostly counts as an opiate though doesn't it.. I'm thinking of trying NA but I'm afraid it will be the same crowd as the clinic, people selling drugs in the parking lot. Any advice on that or any of my situation? I went through severe boughts of depression before I was an addict also and should begin seeing a psychiatrist within the month, but I'm not going to start bk on anti depressants so idk if it'll do any good to see one.. Anyway, thanks for all the videos you've made. This is my first time checking them out, it's a good thing you're doing here

it's all in your head. once the meds are completely outta your system, it's like starting over again. .ftw

Thank you - 5th attempt in 2015 ... day 1 on Nothing today.

hi ryan,im a 10 year heroin addict,now I have been on methadone for another10 years so thats a20 year span of opiate addiction,I am starting to taper my methadone(in Ireland we call M soup).I was on 90 mls for years and have got down to60 mls,am reducing by 5 mls a week,I tried cold Turkey 3 times on the heroin and failed miserably,ended up in hospital and as soon as I got out I Immediately had a turn on and was back to full on heroin addiction,any ideas on how to kick my soup addiction?

i don't See why people try cold turkey and suffer. . just tell your doctor you wanna taper off your meds. but if your just buying them then good luck with that

2 weeks seems so lonf

Hi everyone im at day 13 and i feel soo good. I started riding and going for walks i cant agree with you more Ryan. Exercise is key to recovery and i know im in the honeymoon stage atm but its great. I can achieve anything i want now. Thanks mate.

Hi Ryan,tim from ireland again,as well as opiate addiction I am also bi polar so am on lots of psych meds,venaflaxine,mirtazapine,olnzapine,promethazine,zopiclone and seroquel and methadone,I am afraid of slipping into psychosis when in methadone withdrawal,should I do my withdrawl in hospital or try it at home,I have had several suicide attempts,cut my wrists,deliberate od;s and I even jumped under a car,broke my leg and shoulder,I am so afraid of withdrawl sending me over the edge as methadone has me tranquilized to such an extent that I think I will have psychotic episodes once its gone.Any advice would be much appreciated,

Thanx, 3 weeks.

please some one tell me after how much time i can get sleep i am getting mad this is the fourth day i havenot slept for single hour in this 4 days please help me god i am an heroien addict for 1.5 years please some one help me

I love your vids. I'm in the in between, wanting to let go and clinging on. My path is a very long one. 20 yrs ago it started with a parent (I was a wee child) and I watched how they got completely out of control and then one day just randomly I found myself in the pill bottle. Trying to juggle school and recently getting over a heartbreak I needed an escape and alcohol wasn't allowed for me so getting into those beautiful orange bottles of hell were an alternative. It didn't occur to me that I was an addict til I was and I went through my first withdrawal. Nearly ten years later I'm still on the roller coaster ride from hell. When I lost the love of my life we had both gotten clean and on a good path but he was convinced by his own drug addict mother that I was a gold digging whore and blackmailed him into breaking up with me. I have never been so broken. Ive been trying to put the pieces back together but it's hard to do when you are right in the trigger zone (my parents home) and you are in the realm of where you couldn't give two shits.

on day 8 should I be feeling happy? I've got through physical withdrawal now it's a lot of mental and emotional. I'm just wondering if I will feel happy again and when.

I'm not in recovery, but that's not for lack of trying. One of the main things that stops me from staying clean is the very context of this video. Im clean 4 days. Sick as hell. There is no "zest" here and it's killing me.

Day #4 there's nothing about this I will miss. I have pain but I'd rather ache then be empty. I can't anymore! I refuse!

Big beard 😩

You look like lanka his car very messy not wash