Maya's Channel: / @mayalifeinthephilippines Hello everyone! In this video, I interview a single mother who recently married an expat in the Philippines. Should an expat marry a single mother?
That's great. Hope she never get's mad at you and takes her daughter away. You have zero rights to that child unless you adopted her. Or her baby daddy comes back into the picture and they threaten to report you to the police for whatever unless you pay them. There are PH laws against a male even being alone with unrelated kids. But I'm sure you'll be totally OK.
I don't understand this about single mothers: in the Philippines you are conservative Catholics... so how is it possible that you have children *before* the marriage? Also, if you are a single mother, you'll mostly attract older men / divorced men. There are plenty of young(er) foreigners but they want to create their own family. How can you ask your husband to support 2 children with him and 2 with another guy and have him pay for *FOUR* university fees, *FOUR* medical insurances and so on? It's crazy!
Culture mixed with poor education, lower IQ and ofc the classic women traits of poor long term decissions and lack of accountability. If there is a tragic situation where your boyfriend dies thats a different story but to just have a child for fun and then expect some man to save you is beyond delusional. It's like being short, fat, ugly and broke as a man and expecting a woman to just fly into your life. It's hard, it's possible but not very likely.
for real. I think too many on here are thinking with the small head to see that these women who "want 2nd chances" have already disqualified themselves.
It's called "findom". A fetish or sexual preference that involves being dominated in a financial way. Many Western men have been so twisted and harmed by Western culture they develop this feeling of not being worthy. So they try to buy companionship. Most never even get on a plane. Get online, find a Filipina and pretty quickly start sending money. Even when the woman doesn't ask for money, the men will push it on them. Actually going to PH and finding a single mom they can "save" compensates somewhat for their issues of feeling worthless. They fantasize she'll never leave him IF he can keep giving her money. As far as Catholics not following the rules...come on now. You serious?
All the single moms I seen in videos and chatted with online seem like great women. But, I have to ask myself "What the heck am I doing?" Was my goal to move half way around the world so I could take care of other people's kids? Why am I suppose to be the responsible adult? Many Filipinas live for years in far away countries, different cultures, to work as nannies taking care of other people's kids for maybe $500/mo USD. I'd be doing the same except my contract wouldn't be 2 or 3 years, it would be for life. I wouldn't be paid $500/mo....I'd have to be the person paying $1500+ per month. Is that really a job I'm looking for? Doesn't seem like a very smart job to take. The story in this video is exactly the situation men are experiencing in the West. A woman gets with a hot guy who has plenty of women he can be with so doesn't want to marry. She's hot too and is getting lots of attention from men so she thinks she's got this guy nailed down. So she decides she'll live with him because her beauty will keep the guy forever. Then the years start passing and she slowly realizes she's not actually going to have her 17 year old beauty forever. It's fading. So now she looks for another way to nail down this great guy...pressures him to marry, he continues to say he never wanted to marry her so she leaves and goes looking for a guy to sponsor her and her kid(s) lives. If she bags a foreigner she we always be remembering that hot guy she once had and continues to think she deservers. The really sad part is there are indeed many foreigners standing in line to get into these situations. Most foreigners going to PH seem to want to be that guy. I've heard many guys say "there are only single moms in PH". What? That's so delusional. The deal is it's the single moms working hard to bag a sponsor so they're on dating sites many hours a day looking. No job so they can video chat for hours everyday. The single Filipinas without kids are in college and/or working 10+ hours a day, 6 days a week. They're a little harder to find. But there are 1,000's of them.
Most are looking for a good companion. Trouble in philippines is so many are married even if they are not with their husband it can still get us in trouble
Since Filipina families and relatives are top priority for life, and her children are obviously a top priority, the foreigner husband finds himself in last place, perhaps even less than her job and pets. I'm leaving my country to avoid being stuck in last place, the least priority, the one who gets leftover time and energy. It's my #1 fear of getting involved with a single mother.
That is a total no for me. For guys its a lose lose situation. You do everything a dad does financial, taking care of that child or kids but you have no discipline rights when the kid acts up. The wife might make it seem like your opinion matters but if her opinion is different it doesn't. You guys break up, not only you lose the wife you lose that child also because you have no legal rights to that child. All the time , energy and love you put into that child 99% of the time you will never hear from that kid again. I didn't even mention having to deal with the kid's father if he is still in the kids life. Most times that doesn't go too well either.
Sorry about your experience but that is not my experience. My filipina girlfriend asked me to adopt her sons once we got married. I had the same concerns you talked about. But she told me I had a right to discipline them and treat them just like I would treat my very own sons. She kept her word. I have had no problems.
“There are single moms that didn’t choose to be single????” Excuse me but anytime you have sex with a guy who is NOT your husband, you have already decided to take a risk at become a single mother. The only women who choose not to be a single mother, but it was forced upon them, are women who had children WHILE THEY WERE MARRIED but were either abandoned by their rotten husbands or widowed.
Single mothers who have children that are not yet adults would not be appropriate for me since I plan to travel a lot (every month) when I retire to the Philippines and that's something they aren't able to do when they have children to care for. Maybe it would be OK when I get too old to travel around a lot and just stay put in one easy place to live, then I think having a relationship with a single mother (& her child) could work for me.
The total number of men that commented that they are not supporting someone eles kid is surprising to me. It really makes me wonder if they are looking for a loving companion or something else. If you fall in love with someone and she has a child then you except her and her child.
Don’t tell men what to do? Accept their choice and they can accept your choices if they want to. Free humans globally now stop with your shaming language and fake authority statements
My wife's ex-boyfriend ran away as soon as he found out she was pregnant. Between us we have 6 children and she is an amazing mother and wife. I have 4 kids and she has 1 and we have 1 together. Perfect life
Short answer - NO Long answer: Depends on the woman, and if the man likes children and can bond and help raise her child if necessary. For a lot of men it's a burden, to some degree or another. Not the child's fault, and it certainly doesn't mean the woman is bad either. I just think that if you're a foreigner, relatively young, good looking, and have an outgoing personality, then you can find plenty of nice women that don't yet have children.
I myself have 2 kids, so why would l discriminate. She has 1 child, we were married last year. I now live in the philippines & she supports me via her two businesses & l've retired at 49. Yes bringing up soneone else's child can be a struggle, but if you find the right woman, it can all be worth it.
No thanks, I’m not supporting someone else’s child. When I first arrived in the Philippines, I was surprised on the number of single mothers. Why don’t these women get financial help from the father of the child? I’m not here to pay for your mistake of sleeping with the wrong man.
#1 reason Filipinas leave their Filipino baby daddies is to go find a guy with more money. Most Filipinos live a very minimal life. Many are having to skip eating for lack of food. Drinking water to try and reduce hunger until they can find that next bowl of rice. Forcing a poor father to pay the woman child support is called "getting blood from a stone". There's no point. The reality is many single moms leave the father because he's a farmer. Hard work, but he can provide a house and food. But the mother is expected to help with farm work to grow the food they will eat. Planting rice, etc... which is hard work, all day, everyday. So she's on her phone watching social media...Wow, look at the homes these single mom Filipinas have with an old foreign dude? Look at their food!! Going out to resorts!!! Screw this farm life...and she disappears with "her" kids. Sometimes they leave the kids with the father and they disappear. When the foreigner asks "Any kids?" her response is "Nope". From social media they know their best chance at a foreigner is without kids. If she takes the kids the farmer doesn't have the money to track her down and get his kids back. Should such men be forced to pay the mother for her choice? We have that in the US. I 100% agree, not my problem to fix.
Thanks ladies, will be retiring to the Philippines in a year or so, maybe I’ll get lucky and meet someone like you guys, I seek loyalty, faithfulness and love, I offer the same plus protection, honour and support. These things are very rare in the west now, so girls tell your friends not to copy the west, they are way above it and should not lower themselves.
Hi. I was a single father here in Canada from my daughters age 10 nd 12 until adults. I think a lot of men are missing the real point. They say they are coming to PH. to find love . Well for me , if i fall in love with a philipina , and i am looking right now, and she happens to have kids. That is a bonus, because i figure if my philipina loves me , and i am a good man then i am sure the kids will love me also...............Love is love. No matter where you find it.
Sure, no problem in that, but it will require some commitment from both parts in the relationship. I grew up with a stepfather myself. He was 21 and my mother was 30 and she had three kids as well. He just rolled up the sleeves and took up his part of the job. You just have to avoid the thought of the child being “another mans child” and instead concider it as an important part of the family.
Please explain to me why Filipinas continue to have children with men who have no intention to marry them? Don't tell me that they don't know that the man that has impregnated them have no intention of marrying them. I do understand this has a lot to do with education, but there are a lot of educated Pinays who are still getting pregnant without marriage; these women also know that no Filipino man will marry them if the have a child by another man; I guess it doesn't matter because the most important thing is the ingrained cultural habit of having children to serve as the parents' safety net in old age. Lastly, having a baby is ALWAYS the woman's choice. While abortion may be illegal, contraception is not. She had the choice of whether or not to have unprotected sex with a man who was not her husband.
I feel like on one end there are guys that have woken up but on the other hand there are guys that say they wouldn't date a single mom because it's what's trending. For me personally it's an individual choice that all comes down to each person's standards of what they're looking for.
A mate of mine was living with a single mother. Yes he was not even allowed to correct them let alone discipline them. But there was always constant demand, my children need this and that to which he was expected to folk out cash. Worse the biological father of the child would message her requesting money to which she obliged. He did eventually figured out that their relationship was more like him being a financial provider for her and her children. He moved on.
I agree with this 2 beautiful ladies about what they said. don't be blind for beauty because maybe that beauty would ruin your life. Not all pretty are bad but there is some that using you only for thier looks to get what they want from you so don't be blind just be careful.
Great perspective on this topic. Personally I was not interested in single moms when I first started exploring the concept of getting into a serious relationship with a Filipina. Then I met my wife. She was only 24 and a single mom. She got me thinking through the thoughts of being with a single mom. She knew that even though I was considered young when we met. I made it clear that I was not interested in giving her a baby and starting fatherhood again. Especially since my goal was to retire young and work part time while traveling. She accepted me even though I was not going to give her a mixed baby and I was happy that she wasn’t missing out on being a mom. This was the best decision I’ve ever made and after being together for 4 years we married and now we are almost 9 year relationship neither one of us has “trapped” each other by an unplanned baby
You willingly got pregnant, you broke up with the guy, what part of that was not tour choice? Accountability is a womans cryptonite. The scary thing is that women actually believe this lie that they tell themselves.
Hello Ladies, Congratulations Maya & Gio on the Marriage and also Mia on your marriage. I'm 65 and had a divorce 20 years ago, because she cheated on me many times, and received custody of our 3 children and raised them as a single father alone when they were 13, 7 & 4. I'm Christian and it was hard to do that but for my sanity and my kids well being I had to and never remarried again
I know exactly what you are talking about. Same age and my children are of age now. Being a single father parent had some challenges however, all is well now and I am moving to the Philippines 🇵🇭 😊 in 102 more day's. March 13th is target date. Selling everything and leaving my beloved America 🇺🇸 ❤. I will live out the rest of my day's in the Philippines 🇵🇭.
@@rickylee6129 same story different country. Four sons, they discovered the mothers last affair and stayed with me. Not easy raising kids alone but very rewarding. Silly but I think the thing that irked me the most was ladies asking if I was babysitting my kids when I went to the supermarket. Fathers don’t babysit their own kids, they parent.
Just liked and subscribed Mia, I love your channel I think your husband is a lucky guy, you should have him on some time.Iam planning on coming to the Philippians in about a year or so, my brother and cousin both have girls over there and are going themselves soon.
There are good or bad women in every country. I have many friends who married beautiful women in my country. Some were gold diggers after there money. If you have a good attitude and can love unconditionally and have a good heart and generous nature you will find a beautiful filipina keeper. If you can't accept there children keep away from single mums. That's fine if single mum is after security and love. You will be Blessed with a beautiful younger woman. Being real when you are older you want companionship and happiness. You don't want a western woman who has so much baggage from previous relationships that will make you miserable instead of feeling young again and full of joy. Great video young beautiful ladies 🙂👍❤
The foreigners kids are more than likely grown adults living on their own, so the Filipina is only accepting him. Where the foreigner is taking on the Filipina, her children, all the problems stemming from cultural and parenting differences, etc.
I made a video on this recently. I would never ever date an American single mom or western one. I’d consider dating a good Filipina single mom though. Even though they are both single moms culturally they are worlds away and completely different. A western single mom is probably riding the Carousal 24/7 but a Filipina maybe just have 1 or 2 serious bf’s and he abandoned her etc
You are drinking the Kool-Aid. I thought the same when I first started researching a move to PH. Yeah, every single mom Filipina does seem to have had some bad luck with men haven't they? They always seem to have abandoned them. Wow, these Filipino men must be dicks! Doesn't that sound a little like in the US where all men are evil? Just ask any single mom in the US or any woman or watch movies, TV... men are all liars, cheats, etc... But Filipinas....they would never lie. At least in this video Maya is telling at least some truth. She left her Filipino baby daddy to go find a rich foreigner. There are a few videos telling the side of Filipino fathers. Living in the province working a farm. Poor and hard work. The mother gets on social media, sees the lifestyle a foreigner can provide, so she disappears with the kids to go find one. The father doesn't have the money to get his kids back. Or she leaves her kids behind because she knows from social media her best chance to bag a foreigner is to not have kids. What Maya doesn't say in the video is did the father have any choice? Does he even have the resources to track her down and hire lawyers to get his child back? Kind of weird that 100% of the time the father abandons his kids.
I’m a single parent of two, I don’t mine a female with a child. It’s about love and can you build the relationships together. I’ve been to the Philippines in august I was with a single mother but she was trying to run game. So that you got to watch out for..
In the US?? No way. Woman can divorce u anytime, then eave u with zero rights to the kids u helped her raise but weren't yours, and u can be held liable for child support. In Phillipines, women can't just divorce and leave and have the court system destroy me financially. Also, with the age gap being common in PH, I'd feel better being with a woman that already had a child, in case I couldn't give her a kid. Imagine marrying a younger woman with no kids. Then not being able to provide her one. She'll likely feel the strain and sadness in her 30's. I'd rather not deprive her of that. It's just not the same risk as it is in the west.
men don't lose their ability to make babies. But divorce is coming to the Philippines. It will actually be worse than in America. The Filipina judge will look down on you harshly in a divorce.
Wow the only way I think this will work out good is if she can agree to move away with her new husband and give him the right to deal with and treat the child as his own child also it will not be good for her relationship if she keeps contact with her ex family at all
Mia, the problem that some men have with single Mom's is that the mother will prioritize their children over the man. Women are no different. How many women want to marry a single dad and raise his kid? There are women who find that unacceptable. Sadly some relationships becomes transactional, a business decision. A man arrives on the scene, dates a single mother, falls in love, marries, benefits the family financially, adds stability, leadership, direction, and the woman still prioritizes her kids. I am not saying neglect your kids, but do treat the man at least as an equal. All people can behave badly and there should be consequences for the bad behavior. If the man imposes a reasonable reaction, it should be honored by the mom. The alternative is chaos in the home, it will be a ship without a rudder and the family faces the possibility that the man and his resources will leave. This is not a Filipina problem, it is a female problem.
Maya explained she felt like a leftover woman, a single woman with kids in the Philippines. Most older men aged 40+ with kids in America would feel the same.
But she did have a choice. She could have stayed with the child's father. That was the arrangement for 10 years. It was her choice to leave him to go find a foreigner. Why a foreigner? There's no indication she had any horrible experiences with the Filipino guy. She choose to take his kid away from him to go look for a foreigner. What's the defining difference between Filipino and foreign guys? Filipinos will tell you straight off...foreigners are rich. Many 40+ fathers in the US don't get any choice. I think there's a difference.
@@waterbug1135@waterbug1135 What's worse is when a man leaves their young kids in America to move to the Philippines to marry a woman with kids, basically abandoning their own biological kids to take care of someone else's Child. What's more pathetic than that?
My wife and I are 25 years apart, and her package included a ready-made 9 year old boy. I think this marriage will probably work out and last another dozen years. That Filipino boy is about 6 feet tall now, and long ago I broke him of trying to sleep between his mother and me. Mama is almost 50 now and she is even more of a knockout than when I married her. Raising the son is probably the area we have most disagreements because the cultures are so different and male kids apparently are fairly high up in Filipino family hierarchy. Congratulations Maya!
I can marry a single filipina mother as long as i don't have to finacially support her. If i have money i can find a young filipina without kids i rather have my own. I don't want to raise another man's child and deal with the ex boyfriend. Let me ask you Filipina's if you would marry a foreigner who made the same amount as the average filipino man? The answer is no which tells me your after money and support. Before you met a foreigner with money you lived and survived somehow without money.
I can think of three hard questions to ask here....1) What specific benefits are there to the man to get married nowadays in this 4th wave of feminism? Name two.... 2nd) what can a wife provide in a relationship that having a maid and mistress can not? What does the woman bring to the relationship for a high value man bring that she has not already given to a lower level or lesser man? or do the filipina women generally think like Western feminist women think that men are all the same and free and they can just pick one out of the sky whenever they feel like it? I am curious....I hear what you are saying about making good choices and I agree. However, many filipina women need to look in the mirror and take accountability for their bad choices in selecting their partners....if they made better choices then there would not be so many single mothers there in the filipines don't you agree?
Most women get it backwards, including Filipina. They stop being affectionate after the marriage. If you never kiss anyone on the lips until the end of the marriage ceremony things work out better. If that grates you wrong, chances are much higher that you'll never be happy with any man.
If you lived with your partner that’s just the same as being married . What do you need a piece of paper for to say you are committed? You should have stayed with the father of your kid
Personally I'm saving myself for marriage and I expect the same from my partner. I understand that's not how most of the world operates and that my decision is considered "extreme." If that's somebody from the U.S. or a foreigner I don't care, if that means I'm single the rest of my life that's fine too.
Bro, good for u. Why should we take advice from a culture that's literally on the brink of moral and familial collapse? Also, if it's in any way possible? Try to set yourself up so u could work from home, or save, or whatever u can do in order to be able to go to Philippines, Japan, Thailand etc. Especially Philippines. It would %1000 blow your mind how incredibly loving, kind, sweet, hard working, morally devoted people and/or women the Filipinas are. They're absolutely amazing. Their whole mindset, smile, respect, kindness and attitude just brings joy to your heart. If it's at all humanly possible, start working toward a goal now that could put u into position to make that move down the road. Also, there's no divorce in the Philippines. They expect u to fulfill your vow and work things out. It's a FAR BETTER DEAL in every single aspect to marry in the Philippines, ESPECIALLY the quality of the women. There's always bad apples. But good Filipinas are quite easy to find. They'll love u with a committed, intense, genuine desire and with joy in a way that's hard to put into words. Even good women in the US don't compare cuz they've just been raised different. Filipinas have an unreal passion and intensity toward life and their men that's just beyond words. GL bro👊
I'm glad that you said this about remaining pure for your future partner. Men and women don't understand that your body count matters. How many people you sleep with follows you forever. A lot of men these days are questioning their wife or girlfriend about there sexual past. And a lot of men are mortified finding out that their wife slept with 20 guys before he came along. Men are offended because they feel like the first 19 men got a free ride without any commitment and free sex.
@@timmy1tap678 No divorce in PH? Yup, so everyone just "separates". They don't "work things out", they just move on. There's the law and then there's the culture. These are no the same. 60% of kids in PH are born out of wedlock. That doesn't include Filipinas who were married to a guy, separated and had a kid by other men because technically those kids are born to a married woman. So the number could be 70%, 80%, no one knows. I think PH is a better deal than the US, no question. Better women. But, I see no reason to be delusional about the situation either.
OK, great plan. So how exactly are you going to know your future partner "saved" herself? Because she told you? You're going to be shocked to learn women sometimes don't actually tell the truth. And women in SE Asia, because of "face saving" often have a way of looking at things so they appear the way they want. For example, a woman could have been with many men, but she doesn't count those guys because... well they have many reasons. Coming up with rationalizations is common. In times past there were tests done to ensure a woman's virginity, like checking the hymen by using white sheets on the wedding night and relatives coming in the next morning to check for blood. A test that isn't actually very reliable as sex can happen without the hymen breaking or break for other reasons. Or the woman, or man even, could bring some blood to put on the sheets. No blood meant the marriage was dissolved. Trust was that low in a woman's word on the subject.
I have to compliment the "V' and "B" lol. You guys have a great sense of humor, something I loved while stationed there. I have a joke about karaoke in P.I with a Janet Jackson song English "Thats the way love goes" P.I "Dats da way lub goats" Pinatubo was not very fun thogh
Well, I'm taking my time but I want my little Filipina, now that I'm settled in to my condo here in Makati, I'll be getting ready to hit the islands during high season and track down my Filipina! "Don't worry baby daddy is coming"
My man...if you have the means to move, settle and search good for you. I hope, pray and shout to the heavens you do NOT take up the offer of a single mother. LOL.
Isn't divorce illegal in the Philippines? If she's a single mother, she likely already has a Philippine husband, so marrying her could make you a criminal.
Its crazy. Every country in the world is full of woman that finally get it after they had a kid with the wrong guy. It didnt just happen. You chose poorly. And now its yp to the next guy to help clean it up.
Why would a “rich” man (in any country) choose a single mother? It just doesn’t make sense. He has so many options. I sympathize but It’s a dumb decision in any language.
It is true, i am looking for a serious longterm relationship, but you don’t have to involve the church/government to show that you are serious. Marriage as many younger people don’t understand is a severe disadvantage for the man. I will probably get married again, but i will stretch the trial period out to several years. Even that is no guarantee. I had a very happy marriage to a Pinay i met in the US. I sponsored 5 siblings, and shared my home. The mother inlaw loved me more than her own children. I am being discarded for providing for my family. That is my worst offense. Working all the time. Next time I will spend more time at home. Best of luck to everyone.
The only problem I have with this is... Pinays are making videos saying they want a foreigner....but they have 3,4,5 kids...so why NOW do you want a foreigner and not before having 4 kids
The only hesitation I have with single moms is that they can have a hard time finding a babysitter sometimes. They can cancel the date at the last minute if the babysitter doesn’t show up. But I love kids. They are cool people to hang out with.
Kids are cool to hang out with. You'll likely fall in love with them. Sounds great. Then her baby daddy comes back, she of course still loves him, and he takes her and "their" kids away...or kicks you out of the house. They may even threaten to report you police for doing something bad to the kids unless you pay a lot of money. There are PH laws against a male just being alone with unrelated kids. Or you escape extortion and they just disappear. Kids you love are now gone. Feel good? So the question is, do you feel lucky? Do you love taking risks? If yes then PH is for you. If you actually want kids there are 1,000's of childless Filipinas willing to marry you and have your kids. You have rights to those kids. If you're American those kids will be American too. You'll have the backing of the American gov in protecting them and your rights to be a father. The PH gov is not going to steamroll you out of your kids. If your only concern is finding a babysitter then no worries...her mom, sisters, cousins, friends, etc... will be "visiting" you for months at a time. Hey, you don't mind taking care of other people's kids, so what's a few more people to pay for? Word will travel fast..."Foreigner hotel is open". You're going to love PH and Filipinos are going to love you.
There's waaaaay more reasons to be hesitant. You are not thinking And clearly operating from a scarcity mindset..i.e. women are soooo hard to get that j have to accept whatever I can. You need to grow past that
Too many Filipina without kids to settle for one with. That sounds rough, but you got to consider that from the day of marriage you are financially responsible for her kids. Question is why is she single, is she like so many Filipina who get pregnant at 16 years old and has a couple of kids and is looking for a way out. Harsh but true.
