Midweek with Dr. C- Narcissists Don’t Think Like You 

You never have to apologize. These videos have saved my life as well as others. God Bless you.

Hello TeamHealthy from Old Switzerland! After more than 20 years married to my vulnerable narcissist husband I am a professional when it comes to „Narcissist don‘t think like me…“ I try to stay sane! Fortunately I call myself standing on the ground of good old earth. But I found out that I don‘t respond of his ghosting as much as I used to. Keep up TeamHealthy!! You‘re not alone. It happens also in Europe!

One red flag with narcissists is they'll argue with you, but won't listen to anything you're saying because they're getting off on the narcissistic supply. Then after doing that they'll project onto you by calling you 'selfish' to self regulate and get you to try harder to please them.

Never was it said, by any narc ever: "Hey, let's have a hug".

Dr Carter, thank you for singing to the audience, which I enjoyed. No more hidden camera this time and you were in a good mood today. Wishing you and your family a great Independence Day tomorrow!!! I looked up the lyrics of the song you were singing, for whoever is interested: "Now and then I think of when we were together Like when you said you felt so happy you could die Told myself that you were right for me But felt so lonely in your company But that was love, and it's an ache I still remember … You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness Like resignation to the end, always the end So when we found that we could not make sense Well, you said that we would still be friends But I'll admit that I was glad it was over … But you didn't have to cut me off Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing And I don't even need your love But you treat me like a stranger, and that feels so rough No, you didn't have to stoop so low Have your friends collect your records and then change your number I guess that I don't need that, though Now you're just somebody that I used to know"

A narcissistic individual thinks like only one person. Themselves! They are the only ones who could make sense of all their garbage! Stay Healthy!

Doc. It shows you're human. Everyone laughed WITH you. Today's live was so informative. I like thatI learn something new every day about myself AND about others 🤗

Dr. C, your humor and wisdom make this subject palatable. I told a narcissist sister she was a narcissist. 😂😂😂You are so right!!

The only person who could put a narc in their place is an even bigger narc. It's a hierarchy.

You really don't know what a narcissist is until you live with one, don't do it.

I'm always "working the crowd" - now you have me thinking.

Yes, they always have another victim all set to go, already in the back pocket.

Normally a narcissist will have a new focus on a romantic relationship before starting to let go of the one they are in.

Narcissist found another narcissist and I became a target to both.

thank you, dr. carter, for your insights. i find them most helpful.

Lack of humility = Lack of spirituality

About your early arrival the other day. Even computer professionals do this. I've run videos and had upside down pictures, black screens and broken equipment. Any IT person would totally identify and sympathize because it happens. You're awesome.

I am free from my narcissistic relationship finally free falling 😊

Conversation with my nex always left me frustrated. We were polar opposites.

You're a dear. Thanks for your helpful talks.❤❤❤

Bumfuzzled!! A new word for my lexicon Dr C!! 😂

Yes. I got rid of all drinking buddies when I became sober. They don't respect anyone who doesn't drink. They are so annoying. 😕

I Thank you for your support,i thought been there done that im over it,but being i had 2 Ex NARC This is Therpy for me,my favorite saying Single life is Beautiful ❤

Thank You Dr. Carter 🙏🏼💖 32:59

Thank you for your help and support dr Carter ❤ God bless you ❤

12:27 As an aside, this was absolutely hilarious Dr. C.😂

They always want you to fall into a trap because they have vices, so they want you to have them too just not the same one. If he/she drinks they won't want you to drink because you might drink their buzz. But they want you to have an addiction just not the same one.

One thing I've learned in my life is DNA doesn't spell family.

Thank you Dr. Carter! Your nature always brings comfort to a very chaotic and hurtful situation.

Hi Dr Carter .. it's good to laugh at yourself!! I can soo relate, I'm about 7 years younger however I can definitely relate! Thank you for this excellent content, it's so important to remember that indeed we healthy survivors do NOT think like the narc! They are truly empty vessels who absolutely have an alternate reality. Thank you for ALWAYS reminding us to have a goal of PEACE. God bless you Dr C 🕊️🙌🕊️

"Thanks for the feedback" was never said by any narc ever. You cannot set your expectations too low. I used to raise my hand while my narc went into a continuous rant. That really ticked them off, and called it abusive.

When I told my husband that he is a narcissist, he proudly and loudly responded “I KNOW”..I think that he thought that I was complimenting him😂😂😂

Hey Dr.C and team healthy big huge fan your the reason I keep it together. My narc says it's unacceptable for me to enjoy the lake we live on unless she is and will also keep me up until I massage her to sleep. I know this is not healthy but she doesn't see it

Thank you Dr Les. Your insights have very much helped me to understand my own situation and gain tools to help me respond more wisely. God bless you.

Thank you so much! Very helpful!

thank you

Happy Fourth, Dr C! My question: is it possible to develop strong narcissistic traits later in life as a result of emotional trauma?

Hey Dr C! I appreciate how you use different angles to approach and try to alleviate the pain that attends some relationship dynamics. An aspect of these relationships I would like to hear you speak to is the difficulty of staying firm in one’s resolve to move on and let go when the relationship partner had a mix of good and challenging qualities - when, along with the imperious attitude, the micromanaging and control, there was also great charm and likability, and strong bonds were formed. I find myself thinking “no one is perfect, we’re all doing the best we can, maybe I should have focused on the good qualities of this person and this relationship” - a thought loop that keeps me in a painful state of limbo. We were together over two years ago-in your experience, do “the negatives”, or the more challenging tendencies and behaviors, tend to become more and more pronounced and prevalent as time goes on and the relationship becomes more established by moving in together/marriage?

That's a good thing

Just like one of Dr Carters letter writes a narcissist in my life tried to get me to start smoking cigarettes. We were "dating" and he was a smoker but I've never been. He kept offering me cigarettes! These people have no low. I said no thank you. To him and his cigarettes smh forever.

Thankyou Dr. C for the advice you give. Happy 4th & God Bless! 😊

I hope you have a great time for the 4th of July with everyone who you celebrate with family, friends and fellow USA'ers 🙏🕊️

Happy fourth of July, the fourth will be my very own independence day too. I can't wait, bum fuzzled, that's a new one on me. Another great episode. Cheers. There may be a spectrum but honestly are any narcs actually healthy, ever.

They don't think like you. They look CLOSELY at you and hope to mimic your emotions and reactions. I had a 30 year marriage and business partnership with a malignant (he may have been covert first; before POWER) I have insight. some really RED flags but I was 19 when we married, and he basically raised me.

Dear Dr. Carter, I love your livestream, and I'm so grateful for your explanations and wise advice! I have a question: I come from a family that's strongly narcissistic on the malign side. I've always felt that there was something very wrong with my father's siblings (he was the scapegoat), but a few years ago I had to come to terms with the fact that my aunts and uncle are sociopaths. When my grandmother and my father passed away the same year, the extreme triangulation, lying and scheming, corruption etcetera came to the forefront due to earlier embezzlement from my grandmother's inheritance that my father's siblings needed to hide. Being the target of these behaviors has left me with what I would refer to as a "narcissist allergy", as I feel physically ill when I sense narcissistic traits, attitudes and behaviours in other people, acquaintances and friends. I've now started to avoid the majority of the people I used to socialize with. I've lost a lot of trust in people in general, but I also feel that I've become almost like a living narcissist detector, as my gut feeling seems to be right about the people that make me react like this. How can I become less sensitive to narcissistic attitudes and behaviors? ❤

They asked if when the narcissist moves on to a new target, will you become a “friend”? To me it sounds like they are hoping for a positive relationship. In my experience they will continue to use you, you won’t magically become “friends”.

Question: 2 or 3 years ago I put up some boundaries with my vulnerable narcissist mother. One of them is don't yell at me anymore. She did it again the other day, I pointed it out and she said "I can raise my voice if I want to!" I said "Yeah, but I'm not going to listen to it." I've talked to her only once since then. I don't want to go no contact because my brother already talks to her every day and I don't want for her to be putting too much pressure on him and abusing him either, which she will do if she can't do it to me. She's 78 so I need to be able to deal with her but I don't want to subject myself to her abuse. I can't even stand to hug her. What should I do? She once said it's normal for families to yell at each other, and I said no it's not, and she said 'You haven't even been around enough families to know!" Of course I have.

Telling someone they are gaslighting you and tell them to stop: good or not?

What do you call a mean girl? It doesn’t feel right to use narcissist. Mean girls, someone is mean just to be mean or laugh at you.

The man I was married to tried to intimidate me into voting for his candidate of choice (this was back in Ross Perot days, dating myself…) saying I was unintelligent, unthoughtful, and was wasting my vote! Isn’t this some kind of illegal? I even campaigned for him! I was so hurt and confused. I don’t like for these comments to become a complaint-festival but it does help to know one is not alone in this type of situation. One of many anecdotes….. We are divorced but it is for the best in most aspects.

Hello from the Rocky Mountains! 🏔️🏔️🏔️

Hey Dr C from freezinng Melbourne Australia. Thankyou for your insight and support. I was raised by then married narcissists. In the last 11 years since the end of my marriage, I seem to be a narcissist magnet. Is it the vibe I'm giving out? How do I present myself so they dont mark me? I'm feeling at the moment that loneliness might be better than trying again...

Do narssissitic parents really have no empathy or they just didn’t really want kids from the beginning?

I looked up the song you sang. Great song! I’m surprised I’ve never heard it.

So a Narcissist will leave a narcissistic supply/romantic partner they’ve had for years that has turned toxic because I knew him too intimately and started standing up for myself instead of being a meek people pleaser and so he found someone and married quickly becusse she doesn’t really know him and during the time they dated (I had no idea the full 3 years they were together that they were together let alone married) he was still seeing me and arguing, manipulating and the narc supply) so he could keep a clean slate with her and keep his narcissistic tendencies hidden from her, correct?

They don't think the same. My father is a 3 year old my mother is a teen, I want to be an adult! I can't believe now how badly I was suckered, but I had no choices there was nobody else to turn to. My regret is there is no do-over. How I'd love to tell that 5 year old it's gonna be okay adult nd tell that 16 year old to concentrate on schoolwork and that 19 year old to leave the country like they thought of!✌

Are they "know-it-all" ???🤔

When I say my brother stabbed me in the back ,I mean he betrayed me

If you tell a narcissist what they are, wouldn't some do some research and stop the behavior? Even if it's just for the sake of ridding themselves of the negative aspects others experience/see as non-narcissistic people? Also, what is the likelihood that they'd use information on narcissism to paint their victims as the narcissist, while their narcissistic behavior get's even worse?

I left the narcissist 5 years ago and he had already had his supply hence one of the many reasons why I left. That being said he doesn't leave me alone. I have went no contact and have taken other extreme measures to escape but he still finds ways to stalk and harrass our child and I and even put a hit on my life on social media. My question is do narcissist premeditate the abuse they inflict upon others?

There are no such things as Senior Moments. Just you probably being slightly more thoughtful than than your typical teenage self was. 😎

So what do I do if I think I might be a narcissist with sociopathic tendencies?

My brother is trying to talk to me . First thing he said I should move. I said I disagree .he stabbed me in the back

Does a narcissist feels physicall attraction to his women?

If I see now that my husband is being emotionally abused..because I recognize the abuse I endured throughout my childhood (only his is more disguised behind a covert narcissists’ mirroring of empathy &withdrawal of love), is it ok for me to “steal back” his freedom from his mom and give it to him? Is it ok for me to fight on his behalf(encouraging him to take his space in order to freely develop himself), or is that somehow wrong? I understand how I must look to everyone in the system who sees the abuse as normal, but only I am willing to detect how truly inauthentic everyone in the system is operating in fear of my covert narcissistic mother in law. Now that we’ve maintained our no contact, am I just as bad for encouraging him to stand his ground each time they reach out? That is what I’m sure they would encourage him to do were the roles reversed, and that is surely what his mother attempted to do before he chose to marry me. Am I bullying the bully, or am I rescuing the victim?

1. Separated.. When I was in it I had the bullseye.. I know that the flying monkies knew that and they knew that if I was out of the dynamic that the bullseye would go somewhere else.. Possibly them..

❤❤❤❤

Hey Dr. C! I faithfully watch and learn from your videos in a cumulative fashion so like probably most 💜of us, I can often answer my own questions...(Seriously, once you see the pattern they really are predictable little rascals...) Something I cannot figure out though and I'm curious: My elderly covert NarcMom develops a rage anytime a package is delivered (we co-own and "share" a house and neither of us drive anymore so I buy the heavy and bulky stuff online). She kinda reminds me of some sort of demented terrier. As soon as the delivery truck pulls up, she's on guard and ready to angrily swoop out and drag in whatever has been dropped. About half the time, It's something I ordered for her online (she angrily refused to learn anything at all about the digital world so she tells me what she needs and I order it). If it's heavy, she'll drag it and occasionally break it but the behavior doesn't change--even when she breaks her own stuff lol. As soon as she opens her own packages she's suddenly happy and all smiles, but again, the behavior will never change. (If the package is for me, I don't open it in front of her because I watch DR. C and know better...) Now that I've written this out, I do have a few theories: Rage that I might be getting something that she isn't???...Rage that I might be getting anything at all???...Anger that she has to ask me to place the order???...Anger @herself but directed towards me that she never learned about anything digital???...Anger that she can't just jump into her car anymore (somehow, that must be my fault)???...Anger that I am not available to drive her???...Anger that she's not in control of any of it???...Hmmm Dr. C! What do you think? Did I just join the "...Already Know the Answer Club?" Thank You and All The Best, Diva

And you are punished over and over again because "you know too much". Right?

Sociopathy?? Is that how you spell it? Sociopath? I have one of these people I work with!.

It is in our face all the time with trump

My husband that’s moist and it triggers me when he oh I had a dream about you on the beach walking and it triggers me because it’s not real how can I not be triggered?