Mormon Temple Weddings Explained (Sorry, You're Probably Not Invited) 

Definitely do a nice vow renewal with YOUR dress that YOU like in a venue YOU like!

I married into the LDS church. Never in my life have I been so disappointed when I received an invitation to a wedding reception but not the wedding of a nephew. Jesus never turned away a sinner. No matter the reason for a person to be in church, we are to take this gifted moment and give it to the Lord to open their hearts while in Gods house. This is something I will never agree with that only the worthy can come into the Mormon chapel.

Coming from a long line of Mormons, my ancestors coming across with Joseph Smith, I truly believe Mormonism is pure straight a cult! I chose at age 13 to become Catholic. My Mother was not a practicing LDS so it made it easy for me to start my catechism and on to Baptism, First Holy Communion and Confirmation. At 67, I don’t claim any religion. Jesus is my savior and I know he has my back.

Fascinating! Thank you for sharing for those of us who know so little about being Mormon. You are so brave to have chosen to live your life as you want to.

I grew up in the Mormon church and quit when I was 18. Even though my parents and my sisters were married in the Temple, I've never been told what happened during a temple marriage. This has been very eye opening for me. Thanks.

I followed the approved plan by the church. Married a returned missionary in the temple. Remained faithful to him, had a large family, note; I don't regret the children. They are my joy. Stayed active, went according to the "Plan of Happiness". Fast forward... We're divorced, I'm free of the cult, my children are out. We're happier now than before. The critera that is given to find a mate and have a family is skewed to the benefit of a patriarchal corporation. I have told my children to find someone, if they choose to be coupled, who lights you up, who you feel safe with. A better critera in my estimation.

My cousin spent 8 months exercising to fit into my grandmother’s (also Mormon) wedding dress. When she went to the temple, it was rejected because over time, it had diminished to an ivory cream color due to aging. So she was stuck with a generic, ill fitting glorified nightgown. But, hey, it was stark white! Because that’s all that counts. So much for being “all about family.”

I am all but out of the church, the only thing that remains is my member ID #. I haven’t been to Sunday services for months. I have been a temple worker. I’ve not worn my garments for a long time, basically I only wore them for about a month after being endowed. I have prayed and asked God to forgive and release me of any covenants made in the temple. Thank you for speaking openly about this subject. The last straw for me was a hymn that was sung one Sunday and I’d never heard it before but realized it was singing praises to J Smith and I’m sorry praises are for Jesus Christ only 🙏🤍

My friends son had become a Mormon. He did the mission and married a lovely young woman. My friend wasn’t allowed to go to the wedding at the temple, not being a Mormon herself. They ended up leaving the faith

I have family members who are Masons. When you started describing all the handshakes, rituals and secrecy, I immediately thought ‘Masons’.

This is heartbreaking. I hope you both finally got to do the ceremony again in a humane manner ❤

My first experience with a Mormon wedding was a friend who converted to Mormonism in order to be married. None of her family, including her parents, no non Mormon friends and no college friends were allowed. She was all alone except for the groom and his Mormon family and friends. We were all shocked as none of us had ever encountered this situation. We just thought it was the weirdest thing we had ever heard of.

I absolutely love your content! as a never-Mo currently living in Idaho, I’ve been going down the rabbit hole since the culture is so predominant here. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability :)

Geez Alyssa, I'm receiving over a semester worth of Mormon culture from your videos.

One of my best friends was Mormon. Yes I definitely was not invited into the temple at her wedding. Nor was her sister who was Mormon but not in good standing. So we sat on the grass and talked. I did however get to see the inside of a temple at an opening of a new temple. They are stunning…except ya know the whole cult thing.

If it weren't that serious and causing so much harm to people the whole thing would be great comedy... A Club with a secret hangout and a lot of secret handshakes, special holy clothes and all that... and then a bond for time and all eternity can be broken simply by removing your name from a list... Which is fascinating because this makes the club be higher up than even god.

My cousin took me to a Mormon party her friend invited her to. It was in a hall, there was a dj, photographer, lots of snacks on a table and tons of large water jug everywhere. That was the only beverage. Water. From large jugs. Everyone danced and had lots of clean, sober, chaste fun. The bathroom was like a club bathroom fully loaded with hairspray, deodorants, and anything else you need to be presentable. I can't remember if there were candy bowls. Don't quote me on the candy it was all so much to take in and I was like, wow, these people can party. But now I think it was some kind of single meet. My cousin's friend was not at all warm to me. Actually she was quite the opposite without her ever uttering not 1 single word or glance, not even by mistake towards me. Whatever. But also, most of those people seemed to be quite wealthy. While typing this out, I also remember we also attended some type of day seminar that provided different classes for how to dress for success, self improvement, I can't remember the other ones. Then there was break for eating meals that they provided for you. I then remember a type of mass I can't remember the things said. I think there was some singing. The classes where ok obviously, but the mass made me so uncomfortable. I think it was the things they where saying. I thought it was bizarre but I don't remember the details.

Thank you so much for sharing, and for your vulnerability. I have my own religious trauma, and while I was never Mormon, I do recognize how long it takes to recover I wish you all the happiness in the world!

When I was young, our family was good friends with a Mormon family. The elder daughter got married in the Salt Lake temple. The mother was not allowed to attend the wedding because she wasn’t allowed inside the temple for some transgression. I remember feeling really angry and upset by this. At that time, I was very glad to be Catholic where I knew everyone was welcome to come inside our church, whether you were Catholic or not.

I really hate the idea that the most important thing about a woman’s life they gives her value is whether or not she is married. Hate the idea of a womans self worth being tied to a man. Hate the idea that nothing a woman accomplishes, degrees, work pursuits, creative endeavors etc matter as much as whether they attach themselves to a man.

I live in Carlingford, a suburb of Sydney, Australia. We have a temple that the community got to view before it was consecrated 30 + years ago. It was very interesting seeing the hall with the mirrors on either side of the room that meant your reflection and that of the enormous chandeliers went on for ever and the deep pool for baptism with a computer in the corner. Good luck to you

I lived in SLC for 4 years. Even being non-Mormon, it was quite an experience.

I went to a temple open house last year and it was fascinating! Thanks for sharing this information

I agree with your sentiments. My wife was equally saddened by the decision not to allow her mother to attend the wedding in the temple because she is not a member of the church. I encourage you to pursue all of these things and enjoy them as it is your dream. It is your right to be happy, and I am sure your feelings deserve that. It is possible to recover from all of this. You are a very special person, and I could see that clearly.

I know of the harms. My best friend chose to convert sadly. I was invited to attend her civil ceremony. On that day, her family and i stood outside the Alb temple while a swarm of people took her inside. It was sad and angered me since I new of the harm. The ring ceremony (that is what she called it) was exactly what you said. I spent most of the time rolling my eyes. Sadly, she is still a Mormon. I pray she will see the truth one day. While I still talk with her, sadly we have grown apart because I am not Mormon.

Some shades of off white, like cream or ecru, are more flattering to some women's skin tones than stark white

I grew up being taught about God/ Jesus at home without a Church. So I've always considered myself just a Christian. And I'm happy with that. Since being an adult, I have gone to mostly nondenominational churches. Along the way,I've learned about Joseph Smith and Mormonism. And to be honest, I'm not a fan. But I might not be a fan of other denominations too. I think that humans were not meant to add to the Bible. And I think there's a difference between adding full on new ideas and honoring what exactly is in the Bible. I think you can honor God and still have much more of the couples identity in the ceremony. I hope you are able to renew your vows in a type of wedding that you both want that includes everyone you want there. And the color of your wedding dress shoud not matter. You could get married in rags and Christ would only see your heart. This is the first video I've seen on your site... so I don't really know your story. These are just my thoughts.

I'm so sorry for everything you've experienced. Thank you for sharing your story!! I had close relationships with LDS members in high school - and wow - they were focused on converting people, and although I was never a member, I had to unlearn a lot of weird things too from the friend group. You look like you are happy and following your own heart. All the best!

It’s not that “many people don’t want to talk about it”. It’s that the Mormon cult doesn’t *allow* its members to discuss their secret hocus-pocus misappropriation of real Christianity. That’s part of the appeal of a cult for vulnerable, easily led people. I applaud you for leaving it. May you and your family find the Truth and the peace of real Bible centered Christianity and the love of Jesus.

Former member who had her Temple recommend, I love your content.

Coming here because my brother was invited to his Mormon friend’s wedding only to be told on the day he had to remain outside the temple with the other non Mormons. I think they stood in the parking lot for a bit before leaving.

I know you’ll never see me comments, but in a previous video you said that you hated teaching but did it anyways because of your father’s blessing. What you’re doing with these videos is teaching, though. I feel like you’re still “spiritually” upholding your promise to your father. I know you don’t believe in religion anymore (I’m not a Christian myself, but I’m very spiritualist), but I think it’s sweet. I don’t know how much you care about it anymore, but I think you’ve fulfilled your blessing in a way that you never knew you would. I’ve been watching a lot of your videos, and I’m really happy to know more about this secretive religion because someone very close in my life left the Mormon church before I met them.

I was very unimpressed with all the Temple ordinances. It was so hyped and built up, I was thinking there would be something amazing or I’d learn a lot. But…nope. I found it boring, nothing earth-shattering, just…overall a feeling of “Really? This is it?” I mean…secret handshakes? I did get the beautiful bridal room all to myself and I wasn’t rushed, so it was very fancy and beautiful and I got to wear my own gown. I picked a man I grew-up with and respected and knew him well for my officiator, so that was also a great experience. I didn’t want to just get assigned a stranger, as my sister made the mistake of doing, and it be a 90 year old who could barely hear. Her ceremony was crappy.

I'm sure it's not like this anymore, but folks who got married before the 90's: Was your ceremony scary? My dad was forced to take some pretty freaky vows. He was TERRIFIED to talk about his temple ceremony because he was sure he would be punished and maybe killed by spirits that would be loosed on him for speaking up.

Oh my goodness the cha-cha slide comment sent me! I was an exchange student in 2011/12 and participated in basically all of the activities, including the dances, so that was a fun little memory I since then always associate with Mormonism. I still love my host family, but it's really crazy how much of my experience in the US was actually centered around their faith.

I remember hearing (and being outraged) that my aunt Jan (Mom's older sister) was not allowed in the building when her daughter got married because Jan was a divorcee before converting to the Mormon church.

Few years ago my wife met 2 missionaries. Long story short she got baptised etc and then she went to the temple. She had a very errie feeling in there telling her it wasnt right. She left that crap about 2 weeks later. Not of god that lot

Im an atheist who is going to be the best man in a mormon wedding, and he knows im an atheist. It's an odd mormon wedding since he's the only mormon in his family after having converted into it, so it'll be kinda like a normal wedding up front then the "actual" wedding will be in back without any of his family or most of his friends. Gonna be super interesting...

Thank you for sharing. I have really wanted to know what it was like because many people I know have been married in the temple but I have never been able to attend.

The Temple in my area had an “open house” before it was re-consecrated and not to be offensive, but the Celestial Room basically looked like an expensive hotel lobby or ballroom.

I was raised in a Christian church that follows the New Testament. I've known nothing about Morman religion rules. My mind is blown. Thank you for this education.

It would be lovely if a stack of those books were available to be placed into the various little free libraries all over Utah and other places with high mormon populations.

Your best video by far Alyssa. Thank you!! ......You are lucky you went through the Temple after 1990. I went through in 1981 just before my Mission. I had to reenact the blood oaths, or slashing of my throat, if I betrayed Temple secrets. This was so bizarre. I thought I stumbled into a Charles Manson type cult. .....You are so right that this is all borrowed or stolen from Free Masonry. ......Mormons were the first to criticize Boxer Cassius Clay, when he took his Muslim name of Mohammod Ali. Well when we get our Temple new name I think that disrespects our Parents and Ancestors. It's like we all have to be generic robots. No room in the after life for to many Irish or Italian vowels.

I'm glad at least now people have access to information about what they're getting into! I used to think wouldn't it be cool to find some ancient stones or paper to carve or write some BS on to be "discovered" later, make up my own religion, not necessarily to be discovered during my lifetime. But it's obviously been done semi recently, no ancient anything required!

My sister in law couldn't go to her kids weddings. She married a Mormon but isn't one herself.

Thank you for your work to help demystify all this info!

From a Christian perspective these videos are very educational for me. They show the inner workings of what cults are like. Ps: LDS trying to get me to convert with that ad 💀

have a new wedding. invite your sisters. exchange vows. take your time. make it special. i’m proud of you

My temple marriage in 1978 was one of the worst days of my life. I grew up SO excited to get married in the temple. I married a convert and an RM. Of course his parents could not attend since they weren't LDS. In those days one had to go through the washing and anointings naked under a poncho. This was changed in 1990 to the way they do it now which as I understand it one dresses in their garments and temple clothes first but someone who has gone through since then can certainly correct me if I'm wrong. Then I went through my endowment and THEN got sealed in marriage. It was a LONG day. The officiator was so old his hands were shaking and we were afraid he would pitch over the altar or onto one of us! He called me by the wrong name also. (This became a joke between us over the years that we weren't "really married" because my husband married someone named Lorraine). My husband looked like a baker in the hat. I was still so traumatized by the washing and anointing earlier in the day and the endowment I couldn't even focus on the sealing. I cried all the way to the reception and was furious with my mother and my husband for not giving me a heads up in advance. I understand much has changed since 1978. We left the church in 1992 due to the truth claims. We had no internet and did all of our research in the library. Only looked at church sources also. No "anti-Mormon" literature in those days. Best decision I ever made. My family is all LDS. Anyway it is therapeutic for me to share this and I know it's long!

I was a convert in 1972. Went to the temple in 1974. My husband and I had been married already for about 4 years when we were sealed in the temple for Time and Eternity. I think that was the beginning of the end for me the ceremony where my husband learned my secret name but I couldn't know his secret name. Another thing that was very disappointing was the fact that my secret name was probably the most ordinary woman's name in the world . I thought I would be getting a special name that was just for me. Something new. I also heard later that everyone on the same day got the same special name? After 7 years in the LDS Church I got divorced and left the church. I felt my ex-husband used the priesthood to bully me. It was a relief to be free of the church and my ex . Also the special handshake and aprons was weird to me. Felt like a Mason ceremony. 😮

Making you wear a different dress because it's not the "right shade of white?" That's so absolutely insane.

The communal bridal prep room sounds like an eerie reminder of polygamy culture

The whole temple experience was pretty traumatic for me at 18. It was one of the things that started me towards leaving the church. Thanks for sharing.

28 years ago when my wife and I were married, the vows also included a section for my wife to agree to love, honor and "obey" me. There was nothing that mentioned "obey" in my vows. The ceremony came to a screeching halt when my wife told the officiator to repeat that last bit but leave the word "obey" out. Everyone's eyes were as big as dinner plates but I couldn't help but giggle a little bit because I thought the mere concept of my wife needing to obey me was ridiculous! The officiator turned to me and asked if I was okay with this. I told him I was more than okay with it. It's nice to see that part at least is no longer part of the ceremony. Loved the video, there are hundreds of thousands of members and ex members who I am sure are right there with you on many of the problematic parts of the Mormon Temple marriage.

I was a convert to the church here in Brazil and oh my gosh... My husband's family is all from the church and they never told me anything, neither did my leaders. I felt so shocked when I left the temple, I got physically sick. Thank you for giving me this platform, I felt so alone. Thank you so much 🙏

That green apron really ties the whole look together.

My parents were not married in the Temple. As a child, the boys my age used to corner me at church and tell me how my family would never be together in heaven, my parents were sinners even though my mother came from a prominent LDS family - which made it worse (and my father smoked a pipe in public!) One of them said he heard his mother tell other women that my mother was married in the blue dress!! None of us knew what that meant and I didn’t figure it out until I was in High School, when I was disgusted by it. I spent time in other children’s homes and saw how their parents interacted, particularly how the father treated the mother. My father and mother SHOWED me what love was by the way they lived together. They were partners, they respected each other, and they loved each other. My father worshiped my mother. I was married in my own home, standing in the same place my parents had been married, in a dress I chose myself that I loved. My Mama was with me, alone, getting me ready. I came down our long staircase to Mendelssohn’s “Bridal Suite” with my sister as my Maid of Honor and four of my best friends as Bride’s Maids. I took my Daddy’s arm and he walked me down the aisle. I was married by a Presbyterian Minister who had counseled us for several months and let us write our own vows which were personal, meaningful and exactly what we wanted. When the minister asked, “who gives this woman in marriage?” My father stood up and said, “her mother and I, and by her own choice as we have taught her.” (This, in 1974) After the ceremony we went together back up the aisle to Wagner’s “Wedding March” while my friends, my parents friends, my sorority sisters, threw rose petals. I know five - FIVE - women who have told me that after their temple wedding they went into the bathroom and cried. One of them said she threw up she was so upset. Three of the five are still active members. What you are doing here is a great service. I know how difficult it must be. Please do renew your vows, I think it will help, you deserve it.

Break the silence. Break the cycle.

I was so traumatized at my wedding. I couldn’t believe this was my church. Thanks for saying all the things I wasn’t able to say but I thought.

As someone who left the LDS church as soon as I was able to at age eighteen before doing my endowment, I really appreciate these videos. Whenever I've asked my Mormon parents what goes on in the temple, they've always been really cryptic. It's good to finally get clear answers

This is a really good breakdown. Thank you for mentioning that the husband gets to know his brides new name but the wife NEVER gets to know her husbands. This was one of the first things I asked after we left. We laughed so hard cause he had forgotten mine and asked for it too.

I like learning about different religions, and before your videos I never knew anything about these secret parts of mormonism. Thank you for sharing! I am impressed by your ability and willingness to share these difficult things. I am sure you are having a very large positive impact on the world.

The fact that as we are raised as women in the church dreaming of our wedding. Every level of YW marriage is uplifted and you are made to be excited for the day it finally happens. I remember as a Mia Maid we made "marriage capsuls" and thinking back now, NONE of it was about the actual day. How distressing it must be to go to the temple and get this????? I am so happy I lucked out on leaving at 18. I do wish I had had your book back then. Healing from religious trauma is a hard bitter road but I would never want it to have happened another way. Life is so much kinder and joyful outside the Mormon church.

I grew up in the Mormon church but my mom, siblings and I left when I was in high school. I was never excited about getting married. So much of my family isn’t Mormon, so inherently I knew a temple wedding would cause conflict and hurt feelings. So my association with getting married was always negative. I didn’t realize how ingrained this was until my husband and I started talking about getting married and I dreaded the idea of having a wedding despite not being Mormon anymore. My husband and I had a courthouse wedding a few years ago. Our son was the only one in attendance. It was perfect for my level of comfort but I’m also a little sad that the concept of a wedding was ruined for me. Might have to do a vow renewal someday if it feels right

I totally feel you, girl. I was a Jehovah's Witness and I wasn't allowed to have my own sister (not a Witness) or my best friend (also not a Witness) in my wedding party. I'm still traumatized by this 30 years later.

The whole white wedding dress wasn't even a thing until Queen Victoria wore it for her own wedding. And it wasn't about purity. It was about flaunting that she had the money to spend on an outfit she was only going to wear once. It made her a fashion icon, of course because she set a trend for all brides in the western world. But people who push the purity idea are wrong. But that's what happens when a precedent is set. We keep the precedent but forget the actual reason. Then we treat it like it's something sacred instead of mere coincidence and treat anyone who doesn't follow the rules like an agent of pure evil 😅

You had me at your tagline "I gave up eternal life for coffee"...interesting content, well presented. Subscribed. Wishing you the best!

I had a coworker that gave her baby up for adoption. She was mormon but wasnt active. The adoptive mom asked her to come to their familys sealing. I told her not to go that it would be so painful. She went anyway and they made her stay outside the temple as the adoptive mom went inside and was sealed to her baby for all eternity. Not only was it low key shaming it was a slap in the face to her. She called me weeping. I could not believe the adoptive mom pressued her to go to that.

I must say THANK YOU!!! My family left the Mormon Church before I was born. As you can imagine, I have multiple family members -- and they are still in the church, including Bishops. As I was growing up, many of my cousins did their missions and had temple weddings (of which we of course could not attend).... I am so pleased you are doing this presentation -- I am 75 now and over the years my friends have had a hard time believing the explanations I would share ... I will be sharing this posting. You have done a great job -- very clear and concise. Keep up the good work!! 👍

As a Lutheran Christian woman, I find the marriage aspect of Mormonism so interesting and so sad. In traditional Christianity, marriage is something in the life that does not carry over into heaven. Marriage is a gift and blessing that God gives us in this life, but it will not change our heavenly life. There is an understanding that men and women take on different roles in a marriage, but both the man and women are fundamentally equal before Christ. As such, both widows and widowers are permitted to remarry on equal footing, since we know that in heaven, we will neither be married nor given in marriage. We enter the marriage as equals, because we are both equal before God in the end.

Alyssa, you are very courageous in telling your story. A lot of Christians don't understand Mormonism. Fascinating!! Thank you.

I was that girl. Who had to cancel her temple wedding after confessing to her bishop some things. Then had to wait a year. Honestly, a blessing in disguise because I had a regular ceremony and a year of a somewhat normal life before going through the temple. I threw up in the days following my endowment. Got sealed anyway because I honestly was afraid of not going to the celestial kingdom with my husband. Took 13 more years for me to fully leave. This was very therapeutic, thank you!

I really love when you do these longer videos going more in-depth about your knowledge and experience! I know everyone loves the shorts and tiktoks but just so you know, THIS content is also highly loved. I feel like I learn so much.

My grandmother was a young widow. My grandpa died tragically while theu still had 3 minor children between the ages of 8 and 17. She was didnt want to live her life "without companionship" so she intentionally remarried someone she didnt love but liked as a friend because she was unwilling to be sealed to anyone else and she thought if she loved the person she married it would be an insult to his memory. When that marriage fell apart she remarried again to someone that she did not love again. That man divorced her when she got cancer. Both of these men were also widowers and mormon. The second husband stayed close to our family as a good friend. I didnt even know she was married a third time until I was a teenager and my aunt and bio mom told me how traumatizing these experianced were to their family.

How wonderful that you and your husband left the church together. I have heard about some couples that have one person that is determined to leave and the other person too scared to leave. Blessings to you and your husband. I really liked your video. What a strange way to get married...

In the U.K. Mormon Temple Weddings aren’t acknowledged, so it’s a civil wedding in the morning and then they travel up to the temple, for the temple marriage same afternoon. It’s great a non members and inactive members can be part of the day.

control, control, control. Did i say Control.

As an adoptee, i had a unique experience with sealings. Got sealed to my adoptive parents when i was 15, one of them had already been dead for several years so his youngest son was a proxy for him. The whole experience was terrifying since there wasnt any explanation for anything since i hadnt been endowed and wasnt "allowed" to know anything. I even had to cover my eyes at multiple points. Im working on leaving now, but its a hard process when your entire family drilled into you that theres nothing outside of the church. (Happily living with 2 wonderful and supportive partners helping me through this and many other transitions in my life)

Good for you girl! I live in Utah and work in a therapeutic practice. I have so many women and men i work with so this is great information and provides really good insight into what happens to people and my ability to understand what is behind some of their experiences

I’ve never been LDS, but the name mishap made me laugh (in commiseration!) When my husband and I got married almost 25 years ago, the preacher who was set to officiate had to rush to his father (in another state) who was about to pass away. We had 2-3 days to secure another preacher, and the only available person was my elderly great-grandmother’s preacher (also ancient). He had no clue who hubby and I were, so he had a piece of paper with our names written on it inside the open Bible he was holding! 😂 “Do you… looks at note… take… looks at note…” Our wedding was quite the disaster (this is the tip of the iceberg), but we’re still together! 😊 Thanks for sharing on this channel, so we non-LDS viewers can learn more about your experiences and the church.

I really appreciate the explanation on your videos, my whole family is Mormon (parents, brothers, etc) and I was for some part of my life as a kid and teenager, but I decided to stop attending the Sunday meetings when I was like 18-19, it was very hard for me cause of course my whole family were expecting me to be a Mormon girl and marry a guy who served a mission, and of course that give me a lot of trouble with my self esteem 😢 but looking backwards I think that was the most courageous thing I could do for myself at that time. Thank you for making this videos exposing all the fucked up things that make Mormonism a cult

Happy for you and your husband to be free. I was raised Mormon from an infant and left in my early 20's. My dad wasn't a Mormon, but the rest of family is. When i became a Christian 25 years ago, I've been rejected most of the time, even taken out of the will! I'll take God's peace and love any day over "being worthy". God bless you dear girl.

I'm from the UK and legally you have to be married by someone who has the right certification to marry you so you can't get married in the temple. It doesn't work with Scottish/English etc marriage laws. There used to be a strict rule that you had to get sealed within 24hrs of your legal marriage or you had to wait 1 year. I know it has changed now by the church. I never got to that point of the temple and im bloody glad i didn't

Note that you are asked to promise to keep all the "laws, rights and ordinances pertaining to this holy order of matrimony" without them ever being explained to you.

The temple prayers are garbledygook, sounding like someone who was trying to imitate the King James bible but wasn’t smart enough to do it.

Girl. If ANY couple deserves a LOVE FILLED HAPPY DAY in a dress you LOVE… it’s y’all. Y’all are SO brave to leave the cult and go do your own thing… bless you and y’all’s wonderful life.❤

Hi, I want to thank to thank you for being so open and honest. I left the Mormons 31yrs ago and I’m 66 now, (to be honest I was excommunicated) but I have NEVER been able to talk about the temple proceedings to my husband. Basically I still had the fear of retribution but thanks to you I finally realised I could talk to him about it all. You are a blessing. xx

Wedding night speculation at 33:29. The same happens in evangelical church weddings. Most couples remain virgins until after the wedding. What no one speculates is all the sexual dysfunction that will occur in the marriage as a result of body and sex shaming the couple from a young age. Most will be disappointed on their wedding night.

I went to a wedding at a Temple in Utah County. I'm about 100%% sure the groom agreed to marry in the Temple to keep her from leaving. Its kind of like, "Or else" if you don't get sealed in the Temple. I wasn't allowed in the ceremony for the obvious reason that I am non-LDS. I felt a little embarrassed because I didn't know why I was invited to the Temple if I couldn't actually go in. I had to wait in the waiting room, with one of the brother in-laws, cool guy, I kept thinking to myself, "I know why I can't watch the ceremony, but why isn't he allowed in the ceremony?". He is LDS 😂. It's a different religion for sure. One more thing when someone is sealed, for example grandparents, and on person dies. They can move on and get seated to someone else. So that person is in a celestial kingdom waiting for all of eternity and their Earth spouse is sealed to a new person! Nobody has been able to make sense of this to me. One LDS person said, "Oh its because in heaven they have different planets for their spouses". ...ohhhhh ooookay

I dated a Mormon for a bit, he always HATED how much makeup I wore and how I dressed. Often shaming me out loud and to his friends. He tried to convert me because he could never marry a non Mormon. He was honestly awful, and gave me so many complexes! He even once said to his friends in front of me that I wasn’t Mrs Right but I was Misses Right now. I really appreciate you telling your story and it truly affirms that I dodged an awful bullet.

My very first endowment session some mental lady sitting behind me kept yanking my head piece down every time I tried to fit it comfortably on my head. After the 3rd or 4th time a temple worker almost got up to say something but then sat back down. My fiance and his mom, everyone in there just stayed silent. I was so set on being positive snd having a spiritual experience that I did not turn and tell her to stop. Everyone with me just ignored it too.

I was baptized in 1996 and I wish I knew more before that. The elders tell you what they are taught to tell you. I moved around quite a bit; I was basically a visitor everywhere I went and my final move to Indiana brought me to an LDS church I planned to stay at. I was never married and had no interest in becoming married. The officials at my church learned I had not yet received my endowment. Here it was 2003, and finally was able to prepare for my endowment. I found the entire day, from beginning to end to be more than just weird. It was everything I believed a religion should not do. Very ritualistic, very mapped; being touched while naked under a fabric flap, and watching members of my church chant while standing around a pentagram; my stomach turned. I could not wait to get the heck out of there and every minute that passed I promised GOD that if HE could get me home safely I would NEVER go to any Temple ever again as long as I live.

I got to see a temple before it was consecrated!! It was quite an experience, beautiful - but what they likely thought was beautiful, and serene, I found kind of eerie. They talked about where all the marble was brought in from, and other high-end finishing, and it felt opulent in a bad way.

Speaking from the perspective of a guy who married a Mormon, it was a colorful journey. She (ex for 20+ years) wasn't a practicing Morman, so my time with her was far closer to normal than the time spent around most folks from Utah. Man, oh, man. The vibe that occurred sometimes was awkward. Her family was extraordinary, and I never once felt uncomfortable around them... We flew back to Utah for our civil ceremony, and when we were out together meeting her friends, I sometimes felt very out of place. I was in a rigorous religious home, so the ceremonial aspect wasn't foreign. Still, the shenanigans that Morman has to adhere to are exponentially more inflated with ritual than my upbringing. She used to joke about the stories regarding the 'magic underpants.' It's strange to me. Mormonism isn't the only faith drenched in symbolism. What truly saddens me is that all that symbolism counts for Zilch at the end of the road. To think that we exist in a world where your book will benefit people is just sad. I've heard it said that the presence of the different types of rituals involved in many religions somehow imparts a significance that would otherwise be missing. The importance lies within the people rather than the ceremony around them. What will it be like when we are all but dust? Who knows until postcards from the afterlife arrive. Why put the extra stress on a young couple just starting out? Their path forward together is already arduous, as is any marriage. The couple can do without the Mormon gasoline on the fire. The level of indoctrination is extreme, indeed. Society says the cults are sinister. Yet, Scientology, Mormonism, and countless other groups exist, and very little is spoken of them. Again, sad, I say. I would love to hear about your current path and how you reconcile the then-you and the now-you. I suspect every day is a step. Find your own way rather than one that hundreds of thousands have followed. Have you received blowback from the Church? I've rambled enough. In closing, thank you for lifting the veil of secrecy (and yours, too! lol) on the topic, as I'm sure many will benefit from your actions.

I went to the open house recently, it was interesting. The celestial room was very large, and had a fantastic chandelier. The baptism room was amazing, detail-wise and the architecture was beautiful throughout the building. The little socks we had to wear weren't bad, because their floors were very clean an I didn't want to mess them up anyway. It was super cool, honestly. I wasn't raised Mormon, and don't plan on it, but goddamn if they aren't good at making pretty castles.

I quit attending the church when I was 14/15. I wanted to learn more than Bee Hives and just being a wife and raising babies.

Thank you for taking the time to share your story. You taught me a lot tonight. I’ve only know a few people who practiced that faith, but never heard any of this. I hope your new wedding is exactly what you wished for.

You poor thing. I'm so glad you and your husband left that controlling cult.

I noticed that they make you wear the green apron, which is a representation of the fig leaves that Adam and Eve wore in the Garden of Eden, as they covered themselves in shame after God had found out they had eaten the apple, (I digress though). I found it interesting as well. My best friend was Mormon, she passed away in 2005. I was able to attend her funeral in Cedar City, Utah. At her viewing, while she was in the casket, I noticed that she was dressed in the same green apron upon burial. I just thought it was interesting that it is required for both, a wedding and a funeral.

My husband and his family were all Mormons until my husband was 14. It was a real shirt show when they all left (he has three siblings). His Dad was a BYU professor. My husband has an older brother and two younger siblings, so it was a little complicated, but they are such a close family even 30 years later. I am going to buy your book and surprise my husband! I think he will find your story so interesting and get a kick out of it (he is totally fine not being a Mormon anymore). Good for you, doing what you need to do to process your experiences! I am glad you are still together.