My advice to young men... 

1. Don't Kiss and Tell - 00:15 2. Learn to be Brave - 02:12 3. Learn to Say No - 04:50 4. Develop a Code and Live By It - 6:28 5. Be Patient with Yourself - 8:48 6. Learn to Listen - 10:00 7. Avoid Debt - 11:20 8. Seek out a Mentor - 12:42 9. Develop a Space to Confined In and Ask Questions - 14:25 10. Be Kind, Be Compassionate - 16:50

“Find a mentor” y’all are my mentors.

DO NOT DATE/MARRY ANYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE YOUR SAME VALUES. They can be hot but as time passes the romance fades and that’s when shared values will take the forefront of the relationship and if you don’t have the same values you will fight and you will be wasting your time. DONT DO IT.

I'm 23 and I'm gonna be 24 this year, you guys taught me more than my family, my uncles, my father, my brother, has ever taught me. They all expect me to just know everything and made me feel ashamed to ask for help towards anybody. I am Haitian as well so I relate even more. Thank you.

I'm a single mom with a teenage son, we have just watched this together. Thank you.❤

The don't kiss and tell thing should extend to women.

Aba and Preach: Litterally go through a warzone together and survive Also Aba and Preach: Yeah nah we ain’t rly friends tbh

I would I like to add one : Learn that sometimes it’s okay to be alone

"discipline is a sense of freedom" Best line. Say this all the time.

I'm glad y'all started getting sponsored. Get that bag boi$$$$

"Be patient with yourself" man I so needed to hear that. I'm 29. I've been a Marine. I've been on security details for a president, vice president, secretary of state. I've been a president of a Student Government association club psi beta. I've been an actor for a national football team. I've been a drop out. I've been homeless. I've been a salesman. I've worked with animals. I've been a protester. I've helped feed the houseless during this pandemic. I look back at my life and I feel like I still haven't even scratched the surface. I get restless and I wanna pick up the pace. Which causes anxiety and ultimately depression from lack of meeting perceived expectations. Hearing that men don't peak until their thirties gave me hope. I'm going to be patient. Thanks guys.

Learning to say “no” is something that I’ve never been good at... and it’s made me a door mat. I hope my boys learn different.

1. No kissing and telling; keep personal life to yourself 2. Be brave; control your reaction to fear and be brave more often than not 3. Learn to say no; assert your boundaries, not control 4. Develop a code that you can live and die by; assimilate through experience and observation 5. Have patience with yourself 6. Learn to listen and learn 7. Avoid debt, mainly financial 8. Seek out a mentor; doesn't have to be a contract or paid thing just someone you can turn to and ask questions 9. Develop a space where you confide and talk about things; "the boys", generally for men 10. Be kind, have compassion, think of your community I took notes Aba

As a 38 year old, I second most of this, but to add some: - Your family is not always on your side, even if their intentions are well, sometimes they can hold you back from pursing your dreams - You will have set backs in life. Just deal with them and keep moving, you will get to where you want to be if you set lofty goals and work at them, just know it won't be easy - Definitely keep your goals and love life to yourself - Date who you like and make sure that being with that person gives you something positive that you didn't have without them, don't let society or family tell you how you're supposed to be happy - Save your money! Think for the future. - Lastly, for straight guys, don't be afraid to lick her booty-hole is she's hygienic

*"One who has mastery over his dominion does not feel the need to invade everyone else's"* PREACH

As a 26 year old female, I just wanted to say, I've learnt so much from Preach and Abba... I look at situations differently and always keep in mind that there is two sides to every story... These two are funny and are still able to get important issues across, they are honest and admit to being wrong at times but they grow from it and teach others... This is the kind of content we need more of these days... Keep up the great work guys ❤️

“The one who master’s their own dominion, doesn’t need to invade anyone else’s.” That is something I truly believe in! Powerful statement.

Man. I really needed this. I'm 19 right now and I'm realizing how much the absence of a father figure has had on my brother and I. Now is the time to make up for that on my own. I don't know if y'all will ever see this but thank you, from the bottom of my heart. ✊🏾💪🏾

Long story: A few years back, 2018 I think it was, I was at my peak. I was very active everyday, always striving towards self improvement, forcing myself out of my comfort zone to invoke growth and inspire others to do the same. I was on it. There was a night out that put my virtues to the test that still surprises me when I think back on how I handled it. I had been out with friends for some drinks, and I decided I'd had enough and was leaving. Outside the place we were drinking, a young girl asked me if I had seen someone in a grey tracksuit with blood on his face, claiming he was her boyfriend. I said I hadn't but I was willing to let her know if I do, and that I would come back with him to meet her if I saw him on my way home. I rolled a cigarette, and before I could spark it, I heard he shout at me "he's here, so much for helping me", but I thought nothing of it, she found her man, situation resolved. What I didn't know was that her bf was beaten up for protecting her from a group of guys that were hitting on her and being pushy. And those guys were back with more friends to keep up the punishment. I was now involved. I felt a sense of duty after accepting the responsibility of helping her. The group surrounded the couple and all I could hear was shouting in Turkish and English, but I couldn't make out any words. But through the shouting I could hear clearly the girl shouting back and being very aggressive. She was scared, but she wasn't gonna show it. I decided I would mingle into the group, making myself tall, and speaker as clearly and directly to the ones that could hear me (paraphrasinh) "who came out tonight to have a good time? Who came out tonight thinking they were going home? Who wants to end the night at home, and not in a cell or a hospital?" And to my surprise, because I was running off instinct and adrenaline not really expecting to have too much impact, some of the group actually listened and began calming down. Other members of the group asked me if I was there for beef, and I denied it, stating I'm here to stop it if I can and calm things down, adding that I don't know anyone involved, but I couldn't watch or stand by as something potentially devastating was happening. That earned respect from a few, and I even had a handful begin to side with me in calming things down. But the girl was still being aggressive, of course out of fear and adrenaline. She knew I wasn't with the group so I know what I did next wasn't going to be taken as a threat. I walked up to her and said "hey listen, it's me". I put my hands on her hips, squatted slightly to be eye to eye, looked into her soul and told her "go home, you're making it worse". And she bite her lip like a child does when they've been told off and feel guilty, and started to walk with her boyfriend back to wherever they needed to go. Knowing the group could still follow them, I tried to get their attention again, saying thank you for calming down and letting it go. Reminding them that the choice they made to forget about it was far better than being interrogated or hospitalised. Some of them walked off (not towards the couple, but just away) others were telling me I'm a good person, some even thanked me for not letting them do something stupid (they were all young btw, oldest probably about 20, I was 22 myself but I look older cause I'm going bald 😅) and we all ended up going our separate ways having avoided unnecessary pain and bloodshed. I know the alcohol helped me perform the way I did, I could only dream of stepping in and asserting myself like that sober, but I discovered that night that I had it in me to help people I didn't even know, to tackle a serious problem head on and be successful, to be a voice of reason where there wasn't one. And to this day I look back in that night as a standard I want to live up to day to day not just watching injustice and danger take place, but being active in preventing it and resolving it. It should go without saying that the risk I took that night is not something I would recommend anyone just try without serious consideration of the circumstance, but I would encourage people to not just judge a situation and let it slide, but be aware of what you're capable of and can do to make those situations end as well for everyone involved as possible. I'm not going to say I saved a life or 2 that night. Odds are it was just kids trying to intimidate each other And nothing would have come of it. But where I'm from, and the area I was in that night, people have died over petty shit. Stabbings, shootings, fights over girls and alcohol and whatever. So a piece of me likes to think I prevented a family from having to mourn. Trying that yourself may not always end so well, so please don't read this and think you can be some nightcrawling crime fighter. No one is built for that. Shit gets crazy on some real shit. But do take from this that you have it in you, when you speak the truth and mean what you say, you have the power to make a real, positive impact. Moreover, I recently entered a decline in my health and attitude towards myself and life. I lost touch with my inner king. But watching these videos, reminding me of who I was, and who I could be, has inspired me, and I feel a motivation to rebuild that kingdom I once ruled over. Thanks Aba, thanks Preach. You're doing a great service to me and many others. Keep doing what you do.

As woman I can say that these tips are attractive and are good advice even for women. It is inspiring to hear.

Yo Preach. Stupidity is looking to be brave, actively. Be brave when fear confronts you; don't go chasing conflict.

I'm a full time single dad to a boy. I grew up without my father, and I missed so many valuable lessons from a strong male role model. It took me years to figure out simple things that I could've learned at a young age. This is my ultimate goal as a father. Instill in my boy what it takes to be a man and teach him all the bullshit I had to figure out on my own.

As a 22 year old autistic man who isn't able to properly understand social circumstances in the same way that others can, I just want to say that this advice is quite helpful. You guys got some advice that is really good for a guy like me. These things don't come obvious to a guy like me as they do to others, so I appreciate it a lot

“Love your neighbor but mind your own business” is my own personal motto

Everytime he says value all I hear is "value, value". Lol

Aba: “young men do not kiss and tell” Me: “say it again for the idiots in the back”

“ Avoid Debt” struggling with that one rn😔

As an 18 year old guy turning 19 in Jan. who never really had a true father figure in his life, growing up with a single a single mom, I truly do appreciate you two. Obviously I cannot rely on you two completely for opinions, ways of bettering myself as a man but I am very greatful to have found you guys. It's never been easy being the sole male in a family with younger sibblings having to navigate being a man on your own. I definitely missed out on a lot but I've done my best to be the best man I could have so far and will continue to learn and evolve as much as I can. Once again, thank you Aba, thank you Preach

I'm a girl but I'm here anyway. I learn alot from you guys

As a young 17-year-old male watching this video I'm very grateful for the stuff I know now, will use it to self improve

I'm a young woman, but everything here applies in my life and I really appreciate this video. I took notes & would love if you guys did more of these! ❤️

Abba:"i'm developing a code." Preach:"PROGRAMING!" lol

Whoa! I HAD NO IDEA PREACH IS 38! He looks like he’s in his late 20’s.

I 100% back the notion of learning to be brave. Especially in social settings. I'm in my 30s, was never educated on taking risks, and have social anxiety both when I dance and when I talk to women in public areas; to the point that I'd rather be single than deal with rejection, or not dance at all than dance with people watching me. I'm fully aware of these flaws and am actively working on them, but dammit it is hard. Fellas. 100% get comfortable with taking logical risks and accepting failure. You will learn to appreciate that skillset it the future.

I'm not even a young man, I'm a young woman. But this shit is fire *Aba's Philosophy feat. Preach*❤︎ "Bravery is not the absence of fear, but understanding, acknowledging your fear, and persevering regardless." "Being *brave* will always, always - in the long term - give you the best outcome possible." "By being brave, you're going to learn, you're going to grow." "You're going to test your character, you're going to test your values as a result of being put in these situations." "Being brave ensures that who you are will be cemented by experience, rather than ideas." (I really love this one) "Develop a code and live by it." "It's important for me to live a life of integrity." "Be patient with yourself. You are young. You are growing. You will not stop growing. Things will become easier, more clear, and much more simple - but it's going to take time." "You are going to have your time. Don't rush it, be patient with it." "Sometimes, your silence can be just as assertive as your talking." "Your ability to listen intently and assimilate information is just as important as actually conveying information." "Anybody can teach you something." "Don't buy anything you can't pay for outright." "Avoid debt... do not take on more than what you know you can handle." "Have real conversations." "Be kind. Be compassionate."

" Take your time, it's not a race" ~ Best quote to tell the younger generation. It applies to literally everything.

Like the old saying in my native language goes: " A gentleman enjoys in silence "

"Practice being uncomfortable." This is what I tell any child I mentor.

This is the kind of stuff that should be pinned to a must-see-list for every human being

It's crazy how often I come back to this video. Not because I'm out here fucking up, but it's always nice to get that refresher. Especially in the low moments? Feels good to be looked out for.

A gentleman would never discuss the bedroom, even with his friends! . quite right. this is like the kingsmen training montage :)

Advice to Young Men Number 1- Keep your financial and personal business to yourself. The less people know about you the better off you are. Number 2- Do not be afraid to express your feelings. You are a human being not a robot. Number 3- Having emotions does not make you a weak man it will aid you in being a better communicator andbbeing more self-aware. Number 4- Develop boundarys, self-worth, self-respect, and self-love. Number 5- Learn to be a leader not a follower. Please do not take peoples ideas as your own. Learn to stand by your beliefs, do your own research, and have your own opinion it is fine not to believe what everybody else thinks. Number 6- Learn to be by yourself. If you don't love you nobody else will. Number 7- Have a purpose. What do yiu want to do with your life and make sure to construct the necessary steps that will allow you to achieve that goal or purpose. Number 8- Live within your means. Please do not buy things out of your budget just to impress people. Life is a journey not a race. Number 9- I am finishing up my MBA. Everyone if you are trying to go to college please research scholarships there is thousands of dolars of free money. One of myscholarships I got for just being left-handed. Also ask your school for tuition wavers. You can literally apply for a waver with your collefe and if you meet the qualifications you can get your tuition covered for free.

As a young adult without a strong male role model in my life, this has taught me a lot. Especially in terms of rushing and comparing the speed of my growth to those around me

I’m a 25 year old Dominican/Black man with two kids and a wife. I needed this. Thank you.

As a young woman, I'm still watching

Just recently turned 25. Wanting to be better - appreciate this video brothers 🙏🏽

“Who you are will be cemented by experiences rather than just ideas.” That is a brilliant truism.

I'm 23 and this video hit at the very time that I needed it. I think that there is a lot of truth in the things that you guys are saying. I know I am guilty of negativily comparing myself to others and wanting to rush into things. I just want to say thanks to you guys and to anyone who is reading this comment, we are all going to make it. Just keep working on yourself and life will get easier for you.

Things I wish I knew: -College sucks - The 20's are a damn struggle - Being an adult is no fun

This is the type of masculinity we need to progress and put forward more in our male friend groups

My mom said that too and The only thing I haven’t bought outright is my house 🏠 Everything else - car - things, all myself - live within your means

'don not kiss & tell" - i have never felt more attacked than before

Bravery isn't being fearless, but having the resolve to continue.

This year i’ve been learning and learning a lot about being a young dude in 2020...As a black male who turned 17 on tuesday i’m just tryna stay on track and focusing on my stuff

My lesson learned from my rugged ass, broke, one parent household childhood is to be the person now, that you needed when you were younger, be that person for those you love.

This is legit great advice, especially the whole mentor thing. As a man who grew up without a father/father figure. I really feel like if I would've had more guidance and an all around example of what it is to be a man I would've been better off.

as a former Swedish Prime minister once said. ''If you have loans/debts, you're not free'' if you have them you're in shackles... so stay away from banks as much as you can.

One thing I wish I told my younger self: Stop worrying about the things you can’t control.

“As a man people will often look at you to lead them to a better place”. That friggin hits.

As a woman, I must say this is amazing life lessons for everyone! I wont take away the fact that you guys are speaking to young men because it's beautiful and much needed, but trust me when I say that I'm also learning how to live my life by those "rules". That's the lessons my father thought me as a young woman and I strive everyday to abide by them! Thank you for this video!

Am a 20 yrs old young man who grew up without a single man in the house (am oldest boy Honestly you guys are helping the world in your own way honestly. BLESS YOU PREACH & ABA

The act of bravery is overcoming and moving past fear. If there is no fear there can be no bravery.

That’s great advice my guys .. been struggling with depression for a while now. I’m getting the help I need and I’m on a couple of different meds, but actually opening up to my friends about my suicidal thoughts and feelings of hopelessness gave me a serious boost. Knowing that they are around when things get overwhelming makes me feel safe and loved and that’s all I need right now.

You guys have highlighted a lot of stuff I've been working on, especially listening to people and the part about taking responsibility in tense situations. Thanks for this

As a guy who has *severe* depression, anxiety that can give me panic attacks occasionally, almost failed out of college, not having a job as of now and still living with my mom at 21 I needed to hear this. The world can and will be very unforgiving to a guy that contributes nothing to the point that a man puts his self worth in what he can do or how efficient he can do things and I speak from experience. I liked your guy’s channel ever since I came here now after this vid I kinda look at you guys older bros now. Thanks Aba and Preach 👍

This isn't just a guy thing honestly. This could apply to all sexes and creeds. Great video.

Aba: ,,leadership isn't mostly about talking is actuallymore about listening'' Preach: ,,few people think there is a difference betwee...'' Aba: ,,...'CAUSE YOUR ORDERS ARE NOT BASED....'' XD

The part about peaking in your 30's gave me some peace because I feel like I missed out on all the good shit growing up.

18, and I'm at a pretty terrible spot right now I really needed this

I'm so glad Aba and Preach have a platform like this.For young guys like me who live in a world that make us the villains because of "Men are the oppressors". So many of us dont have good male roles in our neighborhood and the ones who can look up to are across the other side of the world. We lost Kobe and Chad, good men. And the more we lose good men , the more we create incompetent men in the future especially in Black communities and POC that are in poverty. As a 20 year old I'll take this advice through out my 20s. And thank you so much Aba and Preach for being those male rolemodels we can look up to

I rly dig yalls dynamic..when homie started snapping..shit genuinely makes me smile..yall say yur not "friends" but f that..yall r the shit. Thanks for the channel.

When i broke up with a girl i delete her nudes i never share them i just think its a matter of respect

Preach: Imma laugh like an old guy *Laughs like himself*

If aba was an anime character ... I'm pretty sure he'd be jiraiya.

One thing that I learned in my life as a man is to not tolerate disrespect. If you're passive about that people will walk all over. If someone disrespect s you or makes you feel uncomfortably you should calmly and respectfully communicate that and let it be known that you won't stand for it. You may lose jobs, friends, and other relationships doing things but it will boost your self esteem and you'll never regret it.

I'm sixteen years old and to be honest I'm probably failing to do most of those but I'm learning and I'll keep on pushing myself because I have "great mentors" who happens to be the two of you guys and thanks for the advice

I had friends that would laugh at problems im facing or laughed when i almost got hit by a truck, real talk. I no longer talk to them.

As a woman in her 20s I can say all of these advices apply to us as well. Great advise. I would like to add an advise to young women from my experience. *don't be afraid to date someone outside of your "preferences" such as height, physique, hair, skin color etc. You may be missing on a great partner/bf because he's not 6ft with huge muscles.

Learning to be brave is one I think I'm building on right now, especially after 2021 being a rough year with regards to respecting myself and not thinking I had much self worth in the eyes of certain types of people. But learning to say no I think will always be my biggest challenge. Has been for years and I dont see it changing anytime soon. The guilt I feel when disappointing someone because I don't think the same as them (especially with friends) or don't like something they do even if they say "they're only joking when they say it" has gotten worse for me since starting uni. But I've talked to certain friends about it so I am at leats pointing it out to some of the people I feel I can't say no to. In the end it's avoiding short term upset in substitute for long term or prolonged pain. Great advice guys.

If the nudes don't match the current hairstyle, someone else already got them... 🤷🏾‍♂️

life pro tip: Learn to read your emotions so that you can not be misled by them There is no guarantee you won’t make mistakes, but how can you even attempt to not be led by your emotions if you can’t understand them?

“Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?' 'That is the only time a man can be brave,' his father told him.” ― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

I wish I learned these things a couple years ago but going forward still in my 20s this advice never gets old. Your guys' page has so much value, very relatable and plus its dope getting this wisdom from two educated black men- goes a long way for the young black men going through life's obstacles.

even at 40 and knowing all this, its reassuring to hear it conveyed so articulately

Turned 17 yesterday this should help me. Thanks guys

1. Don't Kiss and Tell - 0:15 2. Learn to be Brave - 2:12 3. Learn to Say No - 4:50 4. Develop a Code and Live By It - 6:28 5. Be Patient with Yourself - 8:48 6. Learn to Listen - 10:00 7. Avoid Debt - 11:20 8. Seek out a Mentor - 12:42 9. Develop a Space to Confined In and Ask Questions - 14:25 10. Be Kind, Be Compassionate - 16:50

Almost 50 and my life has only gotten better. Great advice and I still needed to hear it as some of those things I don't have but would probably make an even better life.

I just wanna say that I started watching you guys over the summer, and I wanna wanna say thank you. I really enjoy the content you both put out. I feel you both speak a lot of facts. I'm glad I'm able to learn from your experiences and make myself better. Keep doing you!

I love how your being serious, so your sneeze and preach's "bless you" was serious 😐

As a mother, I've tried to give this advice to both my son and my daughter. They aren't always utilizing it but they'll eventually get it. 💜

Bro yall are literally my mentors .. I dnt even have to ask the questions 💯

I'm 16, and I really appreciated this as I'm going through a tumultuous time and needed guidance.

I'm not a man, just a young female-but I found this really helpful.Thank you Aba and Preach.

The avoid debt part is literally what stephiscold said to not buy anything you can't buy upfront and that's fax

As a young dad with a 16 month old son some of this advice helped me realize the things I need to work on so when my son gets older he'll be more ready than me. Thank you👍

I'm a woman and I wish to apply these advices in my life- already doing most of them anyway :)

Treat yourself like you would your bestfriend. Have some selfrespect folks.

Stupidity is the absence of fear where it should exist.

I’m happy to see that in my «search of self» after highschool (currently 23) lead me here. Some of these perspectives I already found out on my own.. but listening to someone talk about it with more experience and confidence, that it really does work! This gave me strength! To just keep doing me, living by my code, and not faltering or quitting it short. All in all, thank you for the advice and reassurance in myself :)

As a female I must say I got something from this video. Great tips and I admire both you guys. Bless up from Jamaica 🇯🇲 🇯🇲 !!