My Husband Will Only Talk Via Text

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My Husband Will Only Talk Via Text
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21 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 626

@brendarewan7441 6 месяцев назад

I HAD to write a letter to a hateful boss once. Laid it on her desk. She read it and called me in her office. She asked “what do you want me to do about this?” I said “nothing it’s too late now. I just wanted you to know. “. I had addressed all the hateful words and actions I had received from her since the day I started working for her. Her attitude was better after this. It was like she was just not aware of her actions and words.

@lindajackson2382 6 месяцев назад

Something is VERY WRONG WITH THIS MARRIAGE!

@instahamx684 6 месяцев назад

He wants a paper trail of communications for clarity and minimum conflict with her.

@bicboi1930 6 месяцев назад

Yeah. Especially when many people especially women like to freak out before you've finished saying your piece. Plus for me, when talking about difficult topics, I find I rarely say everything I wanted to in an organized and nuanced way unless I think about it and write a mini essay. Once they read that, then I will talk with them directly. Absolutely nothing wrong with taking yourself out of an emotionally charged situation to really think about what you want to say. Now if course minor arguments don't require that bur the big ones do for me.

@yourgirlfae 6 месяцев назад

@@bicboi1930yeah you totally dont sound like the problem 😂

@yourgirlfae 6 месяцев назад

@@bicboi1930 what you really sound like is a narcissist who goes to therapy to learn how to manipulate people better.

@bicboi1930 6 месяцев назад

@chloeboman7042 I'm not the one who can't listen shut my mouth when appropriate but go on queen

@73cidalia 6 месяцев назад

@@bicboi1930 Especially women? 😂 Have you never seen guys fly into a rage over dumb stuff? It's actually very common. Crazy comes in all shapes. The problem is that the crazies know how to pick the nice ones like we have targets on our backs. But if we're smart, we won't be fooled by anyone a second time.

@suziesmith9076 6 месяцев назад

It’s wild the amount of people that think porn isn’t addictive in these comments…or maybe they’re the addicts that haven’t got to step 1 😂😢

@JJJ-zf8ri 6 месяцев назад

They've been taught by society that's watching p0rn is normal and healthy for people...when the reality is quite the opposite. It destroys intimacy.

@nyc4233 6 месяцев назад

The term addiction is often loosely used! An addiction is something that would impact your relationships w other negatively, will sometimes impair all aspects of your life and eventually isolate you! More importantly it's something you can't function without! Just bc you're watching porn now and then doesn't mean your'e addicted the same way having a drink now and then doesn't make you an alcoholic!

@honestlynate7922 5 месяцев назад

It’s amazing how many people push their addictions off on others. Just because somebody does something doesn’t mean they’re addicted to it.

@NMaxne 5 месяцев назад

They said that porn is addictive, not that it’s always an addiction

@nyc4233 5 месяцев назад

@@NMaxne What you wrote makes no real sense!

@happysmilees 6 месяцев назад

I do this with my mom. Can’t tell her anything without her reacting negatively, exploding, disapproving. So I just text her instead. Alleviates us fighting and arguing all the time -.- unable to have a mature conversation with her.. so I text to avoid the emotional explosive reactions from her

@joshhigdon4951 6 месяцев назад

Good point. This is the same reasoning for this.

@marziamartignoni5585 6 месяцев назад

I do the same with my Italian mother who lives in Italy and, despite me being here for 12 years, still treats me like a subdued daughter. She reacts to pretty much any discussion with overwhelmed attitude and triggers my own reaction as I remember since I was a toddler. It's either this or going low contact. Kinda work but sucks.

@TheThreatenedSwan 6 месяцев назад

Yep

@llearson 6 месяцев назад

If her husband is on the autism spectrum he cannot feel safe with a face to face conversation- texting can be a good compromise

@babyjessejames376 6 месяцев назад

I'm autistic and that's absolutely true. It's usually easier for me to communicate via text because it gives me time to collect my thoughts and articulate what I'm trying to say.

@SB-yy3uq 6 месяцев назад

This!!! My husband and I do this for difficult conversations so that he has time to process what I say and what he needs to say to get his feelings across. I look at it as a reasonable accommodation for a disability.

@ibookman3338 6 месяцев назад

Came to say this!

@andrewmarshall7569 6 месяцев назад

This is the thing I am not a fan of in these shows. Most of the time, you get a sob story from one side. I wish they would ask "what would your spouse say about you if they were part of this conversation?" It would be a gamechanger.

@Shay4YourMind81 6 месяцев назад

Exactly this! 💯

@davidradford9417 6 месяцев назад

Oh, I'd be very careful here. I had to resort to text-only conversations regarding serious topics because I would constantly be misquoted, be taken out of context, or fall victim to my ex "not remembering" what was said. This whole, "emotionally immature" argument doesn't take into account that sometimes people do not engage in good-faith face-to-face conversations. I kind of wonder why he feels the need to text only. Has she played dumb or suffers from convenient memory if things are written down. In this day and age of "bringing the receipts," I think it is unwise to have serious conversations that aren't being recorded in some form or another. Sometimes people who are really good at manipulation and use word and mind games to control things love to have face-to-face conversations with no evidence or record, that way they can make up things or twist what was said to better suit their narrative. And even worse, some people read other people's body language and facial expressions to better manipulate them. Also writing things out via text or email allows you more time to really think about what you are going to say or how you are going to respond, thus lessening the chance of saying something in the heat of the moment or out of anger and not being able to take it back.

@Kivlor 6 месяцев назад

I took to recording disagreements with my wife, and her interactions with the kids, so she could hear herself and how she interacts with us. She was not amused. Now she's "scared" to have a conversation because she's worried I'm recording, instead of just trying to check her tone.

@CerebralTombstone 6 месяцев назад

I’m so sorry this happened to you.

@bicboi1930 6 месяцев назад

@@MyriadLove it's not a blind spot, she knows how she treats people, she's the one doing it. She's afraid of accountability not the recording haha. Accountability is kryponite to this gender

@Kivlor 6 месяцев назад

@@MyriadLove oh, I offered that first, so we could both hear ourselves. I was very much in favor of working on my tone and words, because what I'm trying to communicate often seems to come across wrong for her. The suggestion made her mad and I did it anyways. Turns out that my fear over coming across wrong wasn't very founded--she takes what I say and in her head twists it into something else, then flips out over it. We've had a lot of talks about that since, and she knows she does it. Eta, what I did was set a voice activated recorder and left it for a week at a time, so it would be hard for me to just be on my best behavior and make her look bad. I wanted to improve things on my end if I'm doing wrong

@Kivlor 6 месяцев назад

@@MyriadLove I'm more than willing to admit I can fail on the communication end. Look at my original post: It was completely reasonable to interpret that as me fishing for a "gotcha" moment with the wife, and there've definitely been times I'm said something that came out wrong with her, and she was reasonable in taking it the wrong way. She's angry and hurt about a lot of things, many of them I can't fix unfortunately. Some of them are legitimate, some of them her own fault lol. I know I can say things that come off more harsh than intended, and if I'm hurt or angry, I can be _more_ hurtful, and I think listening to myself helped a lot with that. I also have a problem with refusing to apologize if I don't think I'm wrong, and I know that really gets to her. I'll readily apologize if I think I did the wrong thing though.

@anyagee9467 6 месяцев назад

Sometimes putting your thoughts "on paper" is the best way. You are not impulsive, you think things through, and you can't backtrack on your words. It is also easier to be vulnerable and to say difficult things. Of course, ideally, with time, you can be more and more vulnerable in person. But writing/typing things up is a really good start.

@1castellp 6 месяцев назад

Using, "hey we need to talk tonight at 8pm" to me sounds like a huge cliff hangar that leaves me wondering what it could be and how can I prepare if I don’t know what it is

@tarim2822 3 месяца назад

Porn addiction can be so damaging to the person and the relationship in the long run, sad so many men dont understand this how it can really hurt the woman they are with.

@chocolatewolfe Месяц назад

Only men huh?

@ryand7713 6 месяцев назад

My wife would send "walls" of text when things started building up. I couldn't stand them. I had to intentionally create a "safe space" for her to talk in person. Now she puts something on the schedule, or a weekly chat. I don't get any walls anymore.

@fauxbro1983 6 месяцев назад

lol sounds like you need to dial a good divorce lawyer.

@dani4157 6 месяцев назад

@@fauxbro1983Why? Seems like he fixed the situation

@brendarewan7441 6 месяцев назад

What had you done when you were intentionally unsafe?

@crushynn90 6 месяцев назад

I’ve done the text or email thing with my husband when things are difficult because he can be so overwhelming verbally that I cannot keep up & he bulldozes the conversation.

@anneshirley9560 6 месяцев назад

Same, I try to talk to mine, but he just yells and causes over me and won't let me talk, so if I want to voice anything I have to write him a letter of text.

@shashamarie4760 6 месяцев назад

Yep. I do it all the time. Unfortunately, text is easier. 😢

@k-mart7475 6 месяцев назад

Can you explain how one can be verbally overwhelming? Asking out of curiosity because I think some of us just need guidance on how to navigate a tough conversation.

@dawnbishop1261 6 месяцев назад

Same! If I want my voice heard…it’s not face to face. He will shut me down

@crushynn90 6 месяцев назад

@@k-mart7475 Rapid fire questions, changing the subject, twisting what I say, interrupting, acting like the victim, defensive, talking over me (“I know what you’re going to say”), outright denial, insisting his intentions were good (minimizing). Doesn’t happen all the time & he’s gotten better over the years but if he’s not ready to hear or face something, nothing I say is getting through. He’s just verbally more adept than me & I get flustered.

@Maria-jo6nn 6 месяцев назад

He is ashamed to face you face to face to be honest with you or he is afraid.

@bobby9192 6 месяцев назад

She probably freaks out anything he has a feeling

@BREEZYM6015 6 месяцев назад

I would always get yelled at and couldn't have a calm conversation. The stress of having to deal with that all the time for years gets exhausting.

@joev7014 6 месяцев назад

Or he’s manipulating her to get what he wants

@bobby9192 6 месяцев назад

@@BREEZYM6015 yep, better to check out and wait for the kids to be 18 then 🏃 💨

@pierrehenry3483 6 месяцев назад

Or she has convenient memory loss or speaks so broken they can’t keep on topic and kept accountable and this allows him to keep the important things recorded.

@jenniferbowerman2573 6 месяцев назад

Why people stay with individuals who are so dysfunctional is beyond me? I understand. I am 77, now, and have done it twice in my life. If I could relive my life I would never do it again. Why do we think we can save others from their own inadequacies which they unload on us and then make us feel as though we are responsible?

@TheMFStudios 6 месяцев назад

It’s a marriage not a hang out. You can’t ditch people when they have a problem.

@jenniferbowerman2573 3 месяца назад

@@TheMFStudios when they make it ours you can!

@karabrodsky2852 2 месяца назад

I thought the same thing. Some people are way too dysfunctional to date or marry. The relationship with a highly dysfunctional person can turn into a war.

@bladerunner6282 6 месяцев назад

could be a number of reasons... could be that the caller is difficult to converse with in confrontational situations.

@jasonbornne7767 6 месяцев назад

I understand where he’s coming from. I try to talk to my wife about something as simple as planning our summer vacation and it turns nasty and she brings up old stuff. We end up texting while I’m at work about most things.

@thaneros 6 месяцев назад

Like do yall text right next to each other?

@jasonbornne7767 6 месяцев назад

@@thaneros No, we end up texting whilst one or both of us are at work. We’re not retired.

@jasonbornne7767 6 месяцев назад

@@SarahConnor562 Exactly!!! This is us talking about our summer vacation plans (road trip from Houston). Me: “There’s some good RU-vid videos from this guy who travels the country.” Her: “Idk about following a dude that goes to rough neighborhoods.” Like this guy ONLY goes to rough neighborhoods. He doesn’t. He goes to every neighborhood and talks to the people. SMH

@thaneros 6 месяцев назад

@@jasonbornne7767 Didn't mean that both of you don't have lives or retired. I was just curious if there was a heated argument would yall text each other right on the spot.

@tonytoni1150 6 месяцев назад

Children

@only_beckster5269 6 месяцев назад

Porn addiction affect how you interact with people

@alwaysglamorous8941 6 месяцев назад

Yep makes you weird

@BrawlStars-io3fq 6 месяцев назад

How exactly theres no harm in it

@NMaxne 5 месяцев назад

There’s plenty of harm in watching porn, especially to a relationship. The benefits of porn consumption aren’t as big as the negatives. And also you don’t know these women in these videos, so you know if they’re old enough? If they’re being exploited? So many things are wrong with the porn industry!

@BrawlStars-io3fq 5 месяцев назад

@@NMaxne why did they do porn why not work as a casheir or something they are doinf to themeselves

@sandrabrislin4526 6 месяцев назад

I can’t believe all these women hanging in their with husbands with active porn addictions. I bailed. I didn’t want to babysit and Have him if he is back to using porn, all the lies and fights including staring at other women we were on dates. I am not going to beg someone to be with me only. I am much happier. It was depressing.

@cur244 6 месяцев назад

A lot of guys resort to porn if they're in sexless relationships. Guys deal with the same thing when their wives are posting constant pictures on social media for attention.

@a535r2d2 6 месяцев назад

Women like you are the reason men lie. It's much easier to lie than have your life blow up in front of you. The scary thing is with our world and how easy porn is to view most men are addicted or just lie about it. Have fun finding out which one the next man is, or you'll have to leave him to. I'd suggest buying some cats and live single the rest of your life,, or maybe realize men need supportive women that will be there for them if they are honest. Men are wired to be visually stimulated, and this polluted world we live in at the click of a button anytime anywhere you can have anything is very hard for men to live perfectly clean away from. I hope and pray he can find his way out of it. And I hope and pray you could have some humility to see you are the same but in other aspects of life that are more socially acceptable.

@calibrial 6 месяцев назад

Exactly.

@BrawlStars-io3fq 6 месяцев назад

There's nothing wrong porn your just insecure

@chris-gx7rs 5 месяцев назад

Well should have sex with there husbands than men wouldn't cheat and would not be using porn

@Anangelfromabove 6 месяцев назад

The opposite of addiction is connection is more true than the opposite of addiction is sobriety. Success isn’t making something work. Same for marriage. Just cause you stayed together for 50 years, doesn’t mean it’s a successful relationship. Most relationships ships thrive and last off of dysfunction. Most people who are sober do so out of will power, not actually internally changing something. Connecting our internal parts like making our shadows more conscious helps addiction. Connection inside and outside.

@honeybadger2986 6 месяцев назад

Sounds like this woman has created a space in which he feels he can’t talk to her.

@kimraymond3272 6 месяцев назад

As a person who has never had emotional safety in past relationships, my current BF allows me to text my thoughts to him, so I can get them arranged and organized, then later in the day we can sit and talk together. I appreciate the ability to text to help me regulate emotions and get thoughts out and then to come together to discuss. This man is helping me to create emotional safety and in the past year we’ve come a long way in communication❤

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

Your arrangement seems very sensible and helpful. He sounds quite supportive.

@chocolatewolfe Месяц назад

Don't burden him, resentment will surely follow.

@dollymadeson2151 6 месяцев назад

Men talk better sitting side by side in an automobile. Sounds weird but it truly works. Texting sucks.

@sparks3555 6 месяцев назад

Funny that this is actually backed up scientifically and is shown in a few studies. Next time you're at a bar or any place and groups of guys are at just observe- men socially default communication wise to side by side as opposed to face to face like women and its super interesting to see it everywhere once you're conscious of it

@brendarewan7441 6 месяцев назад

No they don’t. I thought it was too. Silent treatment there too. Now we are both trapped and can’t leave. 😂

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

@@brendarewan7441 Why's that funny?

@sweetcanada17 6 месяцев назад

I’ve been interrupted by my husband’s family members often enough, and been told, “no, you didn’t say that,” that I now prefer to have important conversations in text. That way I’m actually able to get my piece said, and have evidence on my phone.

@name9601 6 месяцев назад

so they all gaslight enough to collect evidence, weird way to live.

@bigtomboye 6 месяцев назад

Absolutely 👍

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

Oh my. Sounds dysfunctional and hellish to me.

@signalfire15 6 месяцев назад

I often text to resolve conflicts because I’m a better writer than I am a speaker and I want to express myself clearly and make sure my intention is clear.

@bigtomboye 6 месяцев назад

Yes, for sure 👍

@lindajackson2382 6 месяцев назад

You shouldn't HAVE TO TEXT YOUR SPOUSE about IMPORTANT, INTIMATE THINGS - Wife or husband! THAT'S NOT A CLOSE, INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP!

@tyler0506 6 месяцев назад

This is a him vs him issue not a you and him issue. Ask him why HE feels the way HE FEELS! This porn addiction is not about you, it’s about him battling his demons. It could be: Religious upbringing (Mormons of salt lake) Abuse as a child Sexual fetish he’s ashamed of Trauma Etc

@OnjelieMarie 6 месяцев назад

So many men with porn addiction. Its terrifying

@JJJ-zf8ri 6 месяцев назад

The level of cope they have for supporting s3x slaves getting rap3d on screen is terrifying, the vast majority of p0rn is the s3x trade.

@BrawlStars-io3fq 6 месяцев назад

Nothing wrong with porn

@brookealicia92 5 месяцев назад

@@BrawlStars-io3fqno one said there was anything wrong with viewing porn, there is a problem with porn addiction. Just like it’s ok to have drinks socially but it impacts people when you are a fall down drunk

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

@@BrawlStars-io3fq Everything about porn is wrong.

@ryanbeshears931 2 месяца назад

Do we wanna play a game called “why do so many men turn to porn?”

@BREEZYM6015 6 месяцев назад

I don't like confrontation which leads me to avoiding it all together. I'm single now and will most likely remain single. I'm just not good at being in a relationship.

@Veracityseeker7 6 месяцев назад

At least you know this. I respect you realizing this instead of hurting people dragging them with your avoidance.

@akaTheLaughingGirl 6 месяцев назад

Maybe work on communication skills or working on friendships, that should help you get better in a romantic relationship.

@emptysoul5057 6 месяцев назад

I text my husband if I need to talk to him about something serious or I write him a letter... because he has a history of wilding out if I have any concerns. He can't understand that a change might be needed but I'm not full on trying to make conflict just trying to address one little thing so I text so I can actually get my full thoughts across without him just screaming and yelling about unrelated nonsense. I mean not everyone has good communication skills so sometimes you gotta do what you can to get your thoughts across

@bigtomboye 6 месяцев назад

Yes! Writing is communicating and for many people the writing process is clarifying and helpful, and it allows for information without wilding out

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

Screaming and yelling? He sounds like a toddler having a tantrum. In a grown man, that's downright abusive.

@e3xiii315 6 месяцев назад

I fell into this habit with my last relationship. Every in person conversation was a “blindside” to him. Even in the moment the action was happening. In person it always felt like he was just waiting for me to stop talking instead of listening to me. I realized for me the text arguments left me feeling unresolved and stressed. I learned that I needed to be with a more upfront communicator.

@tomstulc9143 6 месяцев назад

Texting is written talking. He does not need emotional talking. He is texting to avoid conflict. Porn a separate issue. A serious sin

@carolynmitchell7330 3 месяца назад

What if the husband refuses to stop looking at it?, insists there's nothing wrong with it. When clearly it is hurting the wife and the marriage??

@hampstercrazy 6 месяцев назад

Third random video in a row where there was a pornography sex addiction. Wow.

@galasaaden9660 6 месяцев назад

Porn is so extremely detrimental to your health it should be banned and illegal for good. I wasted years of my life to this addiction and it ruined so many aspects of my life. More then I ever realized in the moment

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

I once read snippets of an interview with the man who runs most of the porn industry in the US. A total psychopath.

@JaxLittles 5 месяцев назад

I 100% understand wanting to text my feelings over speaking. Why? Because I used to get gaslit all the time and I felt that it was better to have a paper trail of what I said and what he said. And I was attacked all the time. And when I speak my partner would twist my words... in writting, it's harder for my partner to add or subtract words

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

Sounds like your partner's a difficult person to be in a relationship with. Has texting improved things between you? Has he stopped gaslighting you, twisting your words, etc ? I mean, you must still communicate orally for the most part, so has his day-to-day behaviour improved substantially? I'm curious about the effect this has had.

@Meggzilla 6 месяцев назад

Hi!! Just wanted to put a little perspective out there. Some people, myself included, have serious hearing loss. I will not speak on the phone with most people, except by text, because it is incredibly hard to make out what other people are saying. Thankfully now, call transcription is far more widely available on mobile phones, at least on Android. Apple users always get everything years after we do, so they might have to wait a little. But if you have a loved one that prefers to text, it's not always emotional immaturity. Do not use age as a factor. I was medically deemed in need of hearing aids at age 14. It's not only old people that suffer hearing loss. I am not saying that the gentleman being discussed in the video is suffering from hearing loss as it really sounds like his situation is fear based. It sounds as though he's afraid to talk to his SO. But please watchers, if you're watching this video and have an SO who texts, they're could be other reasons.

@kimbo3468 6 месяцев назад

Sometimes its a childhood trauma issue when everytime a kid has feelings or an issue it causes chaos in the home they grow up to shove their feelings down not to bring up difficult topics for fear of the hell they grew up in.

@michellerock3543 6 месяцев назад

This is so true.

@GR-uc1gq 6 месяцев назад

Porn is destructive.

@Veracityseeker7 6 месяцев назад

It's evil.

@CTembo 6 месяцев назад

Not when it’s a hobby

@jasonpatrick-x1k 6 месяцев назад

Porn is evil if your the girl in the video. It's just a small hobby for most dudes watching online for a short amount of time

@delilah8476 6 месяцев назад

@@CTembooh sure the girls in it will need therapy for life but yeah sure enjoy your gross lil hobby kiddo.

@jy_hawk 6 месяцев назад

So are unrealistic expectations

@kacym5550 6 месяцев назад

This is me 😂 I am just way better at describing how I feel via writing vs saying it out loud

@bigtomboye 6 месяцев назад

Yes, definitely, there is something to the writing process📝

@shrek9955 6 месяцев назад

It’s mind-boggling that people go into relationships and build their lives with someone who has so many issues. You can’t build a healthy family if you are not healthy yourself.

@Veracityseeker7 6 месяцев назад

Amen

@harlinaindra4899 6 месяцев назад

I dont think a guy want to show his girl friend about his addictions. Not everyone lives together before marriage.

@shrek9955 6 месяцев назад

@@harlinaindra4899 they can’t even talk to each other like two grown ups, yet they decided to build a family together.

@BBee13 6 месяцев назад

@@harlinaindra4899those conversations should happen before marriage…

@yourgirlfae 6 месяцев назад

⁠@@shrek9955YES this is so crazy to me. these people are so delusional about “fixing” their marriage when theres not even a marriage to fix 😂

@curlyhairdudeify 6 месяцев назад

I'm the opposite. I prefer talking in person, and the person I'm seen can't get enough texts, and with texts I feel like they are impersonal and I feel like I run out of ideas pretty quick.

@GoldenLeafsMovies 6 месяцев назад

Same, I prefer talking cause it allows me to express myself more with my tone, something that is hard to convey with just text and context gets lost in translation. Also I don't like scrolling through previous text when we've been going at it for a while to bring back a previous point.

@curlyhairdudeify 6 месяцев назад

@@GoldenLeafsMovies The worst culprit is when they don't even want to message you on your personal phone number, but only through Snapchat. And the disappearing messages that make you forget what you were even talking about minutes prior.... I'm like, I'm out. It's probably another reason I'm still single, people want to text nonstop to "get to know you" over text before meeting you in real life.... Like I said, I run out of things to say, and meeting people in real life is better.

@hannahschriever7976 6 месяцев назад

I have a lot of emotional trauma and its really hard for me to talk face to fsce about important things. I got married about 9 months ago and its something im still getting used to. I really appreciate this video even if its hard to hear what could be something that my husband could be feeling

@janelleg597 6 месяцев назад

Practice practice practice

@ireefree2024 6 месяцев назад

Don't talked with him when trauma kicks in, but we you are calm and yourself. Work on yourself and heal... Wish you all the best ❤ p.s.the first year of marriage could be the most difficult one 😉

@brendarewan7441 6 месяцев назад

It’s early enough that this video and others can really help you before it gets too far out of hand. Best wishes for your success!! 😊

@sparkles999rose2 6 месяцев назад

Omg this is exactly what I want!!! It’s perfect!!! Who wouldn’t want to text it’s not emotional or angry but just communication and it’s written to refer back if you forget.

@laneilleglyne5986 20 дней назад

I do the same thing. I find it really hard to verbalize my thoughts in the moment and sometimes i need to figure out my emotions too. When i write or text, it is well thought out and rational and we can still have a conversation about it later. Its partially to avoid confrontation, but also to make sure that im say what needs to be said without firing shots at my husband

@ShimmerBodyCream 6 месяцев назад

What's wrong with talking to someone via text if he feels safer?

@tonytoni1150 6 месяцев назад

Are you serious?? This is a grown ass man who doesn’t know how to communicate effectively, that’s very bad.

@Veracityseeker7 6 месяцев назад

Because you can't hear their tone of voice, or see their face. Too many things get lost in translation and it's abnormal. Humans are not designed for this type of communication.

@TravisHi_YT 6 месяцев назад

There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, it sounds like a good idea actually.

@carrieh4 6 месяцев назад

It destroys intimacy.

@californiadreaming567 6 месяцев назад

Text him say I guess the marriage is over

@a535r2d2 6 месяцев назад

I'm guessing you live with a bunch of cats, alone? Or soon will be.

@Lottablues 6 месяцев назад

Block him

@loriluv127 6 месяцев назад

I can not text a conversation like that. Thanks for telling me we'll take tonight sounds great to me.

@TravisHi_YT 6 месяцев назад

I can already tell she has 100% gaslit him and emotionally manipulated him in past arguments. He's keeping a record of what has been said, so she is unable to use these tactics for future arguments. This sort of thing is like sunlight to vampires.

@brenthunter7965 6 месяцев назад

When you said "I can already tell" i think you mean "I've already jumped to the conclusion"

@brendarewan7441 6 месяцев назад

That’s why he looks at “corn “. You are a genius. 😅😅😅

@anonymous1745 6 месяцев назад

Ew dump him. That’s a disgusting addiction. Unacceptable. Especially for 8 years.

@ElimEx1 6 месяцев назад

After a decade, I won't even try to have a difficult conversation. I've learned my lesson. Doing it via text is a good idea to avoid having an explosion of emotions.

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

You must believe that you don't deserve a better relationship or that being single is worse than being in a dysfunctional one.

@MiamiChica 6 месяцев назад

There are different possibilities bc I don’t know your situation: 1.) Maybe he communicates better via text. Some people can’t say things in person as well as in written form. 2.) He wants to save screenshots of your conversation for something (again idk your full story so you would know that) 3.) He’s scared of talking to you in person bc of repercussions, which is why he wants to talk to you reasonably from a distance.

@marcrose3403 6 месяцев назад

She literally admitted to the 3rd option

@Angela-px1cq 6 месяцев назад

Yes 🙌🏼 it takes 2 in a relationship and at some point you have to have some degree of self care. Great advice

@TexasJ4331 6 месяцев назад

The written word is more stable than the spoken word. When you write a message to someone, they can't interrupt you, they can't talk over you, and they are less likely to ignore what you just communicated. Also, they can deny something you communicated 5 minutes before because it's right there in black and white. Making communication written eliminates the games.

@brendarewan7441 6 месяцев назад

Real communication comes in many forms.

@terrihulm873 5 месяцев назад

Only texting is a emotionally immature no connection neurotic way to cop out of real conversation... Every person I know that only texts isn't a high value person to communicate with...

@x-mess 6 месяцев назад

It’s so weird how people think it’s ok or ‘normal’ to look at others having sex… like do u want to do it rather than watch? Dude is a VOYEUR …

@naomianomaly8540 6 месяцев назад

Yeah and they watch it on a computer with an operating system called “Windows” and pretend there’s nothing gross about that.

@sparks3555 6 месяцев назад

Porn addiction is less so about the sexual arousal and sexual gratification or voyeurism as you say and moreso about the chemicals that engaging with porn results in in the brain. Severe pornography addicts don't even get off to it physically, they just have a porn video playing while they do very mundane life activities because it is a chemical method of escapism- just like other every addiction.

@brendarewan7441 6 месяцев назад

@@sparks3555 Hmmmm. And you know about this how?!?! 😂

@sparks3555 6 месяцев назад

@@brendarewan7441 I am just a psychology/neurochemistry hobbyist

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

Exactly.

@skhumbuzomdlalose6349 4 месяца назад

She has definitely thrown something back in his face when he has opened up to her.

@rustyrules4264 6 месяцев назад

Sometimes you can say something in text you wouldn’t otherwise. Plus not being interrupted.

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

Occasional texting or letter writing is one thing; resorting to the written medium as your exclusive form of communication with the people you live with, share your life and your bed with is -- well, neurotic, crazy, nuts.

@MorKing86 6 месяцев назад

Eight years of that nomsense??! There is no way.

@annbaker2950 6 месяцев назад

Good grief ! I’ve never heard of this one!

@catherinenoblet5819 6 месяцев назад

He's an adult..Go to her after texting. Watching what he does gives him an unrealistic idea of what a relationship should look like. It's disrespectful and it promotes the idea that women are objects and only there for one thing. If this is rinse and repeat I get why she's upset. Both go and get some therapy alone first and work on yourself before coming together.

@jaelynrae6045 6 месяцев назад

I disagree on this one...that all important conversations need to happen face to face. That may be true in an ideal sitation where no one has any emotional baggage and everyone comes from a a happy, stable, upbringing, that may be true. I came from an abusive childhood and while my hubby would NEVER do anything to hurt me or be anything like what I experienced as a child, something is still a bit broken inside me and having face to face conversaions about hard things...is just too hard. Even after 10+ years od therapy, EDMR, etc. I will run from them and avoid it at all costs, even as the resentment builds within me. So texting allows me to say whats deeply bothering me in a way that feels safe. Or to hear whats bothering him without feeling rejected. My therapist has encouraged this and it has improved our communication immensely. So I guess every therapist is different in their approach.

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

When it comes to people with backgrounds such as you've described, communicating in writing can be very helpful. As long as this works for BOTH of you, I see no problem with it.

@jessicajohnson8378 Месяц назад

I feel this woman because my last boyfriend used to want to text all the time we never talked on the phone it was really hard for us and it was just so draining the whole relationship was so draining we were together for almost 1 year and 10 months I'm so glad to finally be out of that relationship now I'm in a really good place I ended up getting with somebody else after I left my ex and I feel so much better now I feel so alive and so happy

@brendamawdsley9127 6 месяцев назад

Please have your husband tested for Aspergers. I live with this.

@InLoveWithVintage 6 месяцев назад

I was just going to say he might be on the spectrum because I’m late diagnosed and find that this is easiest for me as well

@Alayne985 6 месяцев назад

@@SarahConnor562what's your point? It hurts no one to seek therapy and/or consider a diagnosis but it can greatly affect people to not get therapy or seek a diagnosis when they need one. So your comment only discourages people who need help and does nothing for people who don't.

@eclark9965 6 месяцев назад

What we live with today is a bunch of morons on the internet that think everyone who doesn’t act the way they see fit must be autistic.

@eclark9965 6 месяцев назад

@@Alayne985actually as therapy has taken hold depression and suicide has only gone up. It doesn’t do much good to wallow in the past or keep focusing on your “trauma.”

@EveryoneIsEqual101 6 месяцев назад

This.

@brendarewan7441 6 месяцев назад

We have to read their writing. They have to listen to our talking. That should be fair.

@xeniajola 6 месяцев назад

Just run

@shawnaaustin3396 6 месяцев назад

Dude! If she tries to talk to him instead of texting, he will run away just like mine does. They sound like the same man.

@Jenda-ld8dj 6 месяцев назад

Actually, they are!

@name9601 6 месяцев назад

🏃‍♂🏃 "hey man running from the wife too ?"

@a535r2d2 6 месяцев назад

Women tend to blow up and not understand men's issues. Men are to be the Rock in the relationship, and admiting to women you have problems makes them unattractive and weak. Men find it better to hide their problems, run, or talk to other men who understand. #1 rule: Never talk to women about your problems.

@carrieh4 6 месяцев назад

He is being deceitful. Has something to hide.

@a535r2d2 6 месяцев назад

By being honest, he's being deceitful. Lmao, that's why men don't talk to women about their problems.

@amyteurlife9408 6 месяцев назад

A women often is not making it hard for guy to confess. He is always caught verses confessing, so she is left confused and can't trust that he would be open.

@ashleysalazar2012 6 месяцев назад

Yeah that's weird. I did that too. And then I turned fourteen.

@ronaldnichols9945 6 месяцев назад

Let him text you. Talk about everything on text. Eventually, maybe, he'll be able to talk to you face to face.

@MsJoyce31202 6 месяцев назад

❤

@atom_smasher 6 месяцев назад

Plus you got a record! Lol

@AshleyLebedev 6 месяцев назад

It’s her HUSBAND, not a scared orphaned child

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

Eventually? They've been married 8 years! 😂

@lillybethford1915 6 месяцев назад

Unless she’s physically attacking, he’s simply a coward. Some may think that porn is not an issue, however, when it has replaced the genuine connection/intimacy in a relationship, there’s a problem. I think they’ve been dealing with this issue for awhile, and… perhaps her response is less than ‘calm’, which doesn’t resolve anything. Some people are okay with their partner watching porn, but if it’s an issue for your significant other, then, there’s it’s a problem. I would say Man-up, talk to your wife and get back into counseling.😳

@lisaviviano1568 6 месяцев назад

That’s unacceptable.

@Veracityseeker7 6 месяцев назад

I'd divorce.

@a535r2d2 6 месяцев назад

Yeah, a man having a problem is unacceptable!! Lol You are the reason men should never be vulnerable to women.

@jmiyagi12345 6 месяцев назад

Anything you’re going through you either created it or you allowed it.

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

You don't say! 😂

@okaydude2863 6 месяцев назад

I am the man in this scenario with regard to texting. My wife is emotionally inept and doesn’t have the temperament to chat, so I find myself texting often while she is away. I think it is getting slightly better.

@AMM3. 6 месяцев назад

porn "addiction".. as a former heroin addict I don't really buy it. It's usually a bad habit and nothing more. It lessens the struggle of people with a physical addiction.

@ibookman3338 6 месяцев назад

Do you not believe in gambling addiction

@AMM3. 6 месяцев назад

@@ibookman3338 I understand that gambling is a terrible habit that destroys lives.. I just don't think it belongs in the same category as addiction.. there's no physical dependence.. it's all in your head.. and I'm not discounting that .. the mind is a powerful thing but at the end of the day porn and gambling addicts need to think their way better.. it's not a medical thing. If they don't have it.. they're going to be extremely uncomfortable.. not have a seizure and die..

@ashleyhess6461 6 месяцев назад

There’s different kinds of addiction out there for different kinds of people. You can’t compare your heroin addiction and your life to someone else’s. That’s just plain foolish and immature. Stop dismissing people because you think you e had it “tougher”…. You obviously don’t don research on other additions.

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

Porn addiction starts off as a bad habit and then morphs into something more sinister. It actually, detectably rewires the brain, for as long as it lasts. With therapy and complete abstinence the brain, over time, rewires itself back to the normal state. There's a psychiatrist in Toronto, Canada, who's worked with porn addicted men and who's demonstrated this with real-time brain imagining at the beginning and again at the end of therapy. Fascinating stuff.

@fortyseventhronin 6 месяцев назад

I know it's not directly relevant, but I don't completely agree with idea that it's "good manners" to refuse to discuss things via texting. Absolutely drives me crazy and sends my anxiety through the roof when someone writes to me and says "Please come meet me. There's something we need to talk about," and refuses to even give me a hint what it's about

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

Yes, that's as bad or worse as someone who won't communicate except by text.

@mikejohnson6443 6 месяцев назад

Spot on, she seems very confrontational. She's deflecting (he has a porn addiction) why? Via text he can express his feelings without interrupting or defending past problems.

@zackavery1129 6 месяцев назад

Some dudes aren’t as good at arguing as woman are, so in some cases they will not engage out of fear of the situation being spun on its head . It seems like a lot of times when woman call, they already know what the issue is and know the diagnosis and no what needs to be done and use all these words that this doctor would be using. The men who call all seem to be lost and are well aware they need guidance.

@diana-4171 5 месяцев назад

As some one who has had difficulty in finding the right words and just talking face to face, having a failed relationship because of texting, i get both sides. For my current relationship i've been working on getting over using texting as an easier way out than talking. He communicated how he felt bombarded when i would send waves of texts rather than communicating face to face in the moment. It's something i've just felt easier than crying and not being understood and having to repeat again.

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

If you aren't being heard in a conversation, and that continues and becomes more or less the norm, you're in an emotionally abusive relationship and should run. But if your boyfriend's a kind, reasonable man who loves you, why on Earth would you need to dissolve into tears all the time?! In any case, I can understand how reams if text would be overwhelming for anyone to deal with on a regular basis.

@theupson 6 месяцев назад

i did that with my wife, it comes from having a really high degree of confidence that you will not be heard. edit: "emotionally immature". eat dirt, john.

@MrsBStacyBattleBorn 6 месяцев назад

There are 12 step programs for families and friends dealing with a loved one's addiction, in order to help them not take an addicts behavior personal. If he is having difficulty dealing with his own feelings, he definately isn't going to be able to deal with her's. She is taking his behavior personal and trying to change his coping bahaviors. He can't have deeper conversations with her. But she can have those deeper conversations with a sponsor in a 12 step program.

@brendarewan7441 6 месяцев назад

So his bad behavior is her fault?!?! Do you really believe this?!?!

@MrsBStacyBattleBorn 6 месяцев назад

@@brendarewan7441 Where did I say his behavior was her fault?

@Lawnrocker 6 месяцев назад

He is a narcissist practicing control

@MommasPeachCobbler 6 месяцев назад

Feels like he is taking advantage of fact that she accepts his porn addiction and constant disrespect. He feels safe writing a text to get away with it. That’s crap.

@kencer8320 6 месяцев назад

People are latching on to the porn side of this too much. It was just used as an example and was something he chose to text instead of a face to face conversation. The bottom line is the dude texts her because he doesn’t feel safe enough to be vulnerable with her in person. She has created an environment where he feels unsafe

@robinw360 6 месяцев назад

SHE doesn't feel safe. He's the leader of the family and he's led his into a ditch

@kencer8320 6 месяцев назад

@@robinw360 did you even watch the video? When does she say she doesn’t feel safe?She literally admits that she reacts too emotionally when he tries to be vulnerable with her and that’s why he chooses to text instead

@robinw360 6 месяцев назад

I'm a mother to three boys, and married for 21 years! No feminist here! She doesn't feel safe. Not only is her husband a bad leader, he's also a coward. HIS behavior shapes hers. Wife of a real man here, and I love him dearly. ❤️ @@kencer8320

@robinw360 6 месяцев назад

@kencer8320 His behavior shapes hers. She's not safe to discuss anything with her husband. He's a bad leader and a coward. No feminist here! Mom to 3 boys, wife for 21 years. Love my husband, a strong, manly, courageous leader! ❤

@WendyH10 6 месяцев назад

It’s ok to just listen whenever our partner tells us something. Not everyone wants a response.

@jjminor 6 месяцев назад

Men are programmed to solve problems so this takes some work. It has for me I know. I’ve improved but it goes against my nature sometimes.

@TravisHi_YT 6 месяцев назад

It's ok to solve problems yourself and keep your thoughts to yourself. Why bring it up in the first place if you don't intend the other person to do anything with the information? For instance, today I saw a big fluffy dog.

@benscott6826 6 месяцев назад

Question not asked. How is the physical intimacy? Sex life?

@NovelNovelist 6 месяцев назад

I mean fundamentally text is simply a written form of communication, and for many people, myself included, communicating in writing is a lot easier, more thorough, and more expressive. It's extremely helpful to take the time and space to express exactly what you want to say without being "on the spot" hurrying for a response or thought, or having to react to the other person in real time. You can say what you want without being sidetracked, and you can say everything you want without being cut off. Obviously many people DON'T want to communicate that way and there should be a give and take to it, but IMO there's nothing at all immature about communicating in a written form.

@NovelNovelist 6 месяцев назад

I often feel extremely clumsy and ineloquent communicating verbally. But if I can take the time to marshal my thoughts, structure them logically, and revise and edit my word choice, I can express myself extremely well.

@vaska1999 5 месяцев назад

A marked preference for written communication instead of talking to your friends and your intimate other comes from deep seated anxiety. It's obviously a control strategy.

@expectabundance4886 6 месяцев назад

Dont respond via text when its innapropriate.

@Ericdj15 6 месяцев назад

I know where the guy is coming from. She is a yeller so of course he wouldn’t wanna talk about things face to face. She gotta work on how she talks to him. Then he eventually will want to talk to her about serious issues if it doesn’t go straight back to him.

@newstart1847 6 месяцев назад

He’s immature

@martinallsopp8941 4 месяца назад

I do this with my partner. I've tryed hard to have a proper conversation with her about how I'm feeling an things I think are makeing me feel this way an she just sits an ignores me or tells me to leave her alone. The only way I get any conversation or any emotion out of her is by tx. And alot of the time it's yes or no answers.

@huntforberries 5 месяцев назад

He feels unsafe with you.

@Shaolin91z 6 месяцев назад

Thanks Lord for bible study class

@drewhoffman1461 6 месяцев назад

She might not listen at all.

@daved7231 6 месяцев назад

That’s wild man

@donnasparrow4 6 месяцев назад

Great info John

@andrewjackson9948 6 месяцев назад

That first sentence......he wants to solve a problem...she wants to build emotional intimacy. Like wtf...she just wants him to emote and more accurately accept her emotions for the problems he is trying to discuss a problem.

@eclark9965 6 месяцев назад

Exactly. Women. Dumbasses.

@Chartlaub5 6 месяцев назад

Lol so true. She's hijacking his struggle.

@jcspiritfilled 6 месяцев назад

Why aren't both important? They are partners and it would be healthy for them to explore best practices for communicating with one another.

@andrewjackson9948 6 месяцев назад

@@jcspiritfilled men want to address and solve problems. Women want to be emotional. Yall make plenty of time and space to do so and men almost never bring up any issue because there is no space in the relationship to do so. If we both harp on all the negative there simply wouldnt be time for anything else. Especially if it turns into some who hours long discussion aboht feelings instead of a 15 minute discussion about the problem and how to fix it.

@marcrose3403 6 месяцев назад

@@jcspiritfilled she needs to check her emotions. She makes her emotions more important than his. She wants to be heard n not listen. She doesn’t listen to him

@Azzne- 6 месяцев назад

So I text when I have something important I need to talk about. I can edit until it means why I really want it to and I won’t change my talking points when I read facial expressions that indicate they aren’t happy about something I’ve said. Often, the first thing out of my mouth is not only incorrect but is also potentially mean sounding. With the written word I can use all of those words that mean exactly what I want to say without the fear of being laughed at if I mispronounce one of the words. It takes so much anxiety away to know it says exactly what I mean and I am less likely to be made to feel foolish. My husband is kind but not everyone has been and if it’s really important, then I don’t want my fear causing a distraction from my focus on saying things accurately. I do need a better way but unfortunately this video just made me feel more shame for not being able to communicate the correct way.

@ninamarie7176 6 месяцев назад

Why is everyone acting like she’s the problem. Sometimes abusive people use this tactic with their partners for various reasons, mainly control. Sounds to me like he’s the problem. He’s a grown man, not a child, why is everyone acting like it’s the wife’s responsibility to work to make it right and clarify what the problem is. Why are most of you acting like he gets a free pass at not using proper communication like he’s a toddler. I thought his wife called in and not his mother. Excuse me while I block this channel as I’ve seen a few of this dudes shorts and some videos and he’s VERY problematic. I don’t think someone like you should be giving other people advice, I find you extremely biased and misguided.