My In-Laws Have No Boundaries! 

In-Laws will destroy a marriage if you don’t set boundaries!!!! I lived this. Hurt people, hurt people!

From experience, if the person you're dating is super-attached to their parents, there will always be issues.

My (very wealthy ) mother in law offered to help my husband and I with a down payment on our first home....BUT She got to pick the Home.🙄We said NO THANK YOU.

If there’s one piece of advice I could give to young couples, NEVER EVER live with your in-laws NO MATTER how tight money is. You’ll be happier living in a leaky shed than with either side of the family.

“If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson

Thats one of the main reasons i want a lot of money and my own business, so people don't have so much control over my life... freedom definitely isn't free

Dave hits it right again. I left a guy who let his sister be in the middle of our relationship. And he's been divorced five times since.

I no longer have a relationship with my in-laws because they could not respect boundaries and they were overtly abusive to me everytime I was around them. It was horrifically painful to do, but we've had an amazing marriage for 9 years now. If I did not set hard boundries, they would have destroyed my marriage, my self confidence, and my relationship with my kids. My wife has always stood up for me which I love more than anything about her.

Each spouse needs to train their parents in healthy boundaries!

I always wondered why people didn’t care for in-laws , until I learned.

8 years of marriage and 4 kids with invasive family here. I've walked this. They're absolutely correct. You HAVE to move.

Mothers are way too used to being overly involved and get extremely offended when boundaries are in place

We moved 30 min away from my in-laws, then they offered to buy us a house but it had to be close to them. We kept saying no then eventually said yes then said no again right before the move in date because they were controlling us already ... it was exhausting.

When my son was 10 he said, "Some people grow up, while others just grow old.". Therefore children should not be spouses.

Autonomy is expensive Their house Their rules Move into a trailer park

Hey Dave , a quote from the Bible on this one,. a man must leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife. This young married man needs to move out and put boundaries on his mother , and tell his new wife she comes first and also show it in his actions.

You should not get married if you, (either one), are unwilling to set boundaries with your parents and anyone else outside of the relationship.

My mother once told me that married couples need to live at least 50 miles from either set of parents.

That’s why it’s never good to be too reliant on other people, even family. It costs to be the boss and when someone else is providing to your life in a significant way, like it or not they have some say. You can’t have it both ways. Dave is right they both need to put on their big kid underwear and start doing things on their own. Even if it means struggling for a while. Lots of young couples have done it before them.

In-laws only should come over when invited

Living under someone else's house means being under their rules.. suoer difficult esp with in-laws!

Bro when Dave busts out the "mommy" lines it slays me

My ex-husband's family used "being nice" as a way to control our relationship. After 15 years, and being told that he would never say "no" to his Mother, I left the marriage which eventually became an annulment.

“This chick is use to bossing everyone around.... I know her” HAHAHA DAVE IS TOO FUNNY😂 sounds like my in laws!!!

I haven't seen my mother but 2 times in 3 years. She tried to inject herself in my marriage. Nope, not going to work that way for me.

Never live with parents. NEVER live with parents! NEVER LIVE WITH PARENTS!!

Dr. John always hearing it in people’s voices.

In-Laws are something you consider before you get married tbh

When I was 18, I was the worst kid ever. My parents were good stock. One day my dad took me for a ride and said “If u don’t get a job, you can live with me and mom for the rest of your life.” I was gone so fast. LoL. My dad used reverse psychology on me.

I lived on in-laws property and was always asking if it was ok to do things to the property, I was very aware that it was not mine... I always made sure to be aware of their feelings and wants when it came to the yard and even the house, looking back they were so controlling even then, even about my clothes and hairstyles. Eventually his parents (who stupidly decided to retire at 30 with 5 kids and no savings for retirement) couldn’t afford the property so they sold it while we were buying our first house, my husband offered for his parents to move the mobile home we were living in on their property to our property and move into it. It was the worst decision we ever made, I honestly never really felt included in the decision, somethingi had out with my husband for the 3 years we lived there. They crapped on our property, took over the barn without asking, stole from us and almost ruined our marriage. We finally decided to move closer to work and told them they had to find their own place. My husband and I have found love again and he has realized how toxic they were to us. We rarely ever see them and I think it was the best decision we’ve ever made, it’s too bad we learned it 6 years into our marriage. Run girl run.

Here’s what Dave really wanted to say: get your own place/stuff/whatever and you can set your own rules.

Kind of sounds like my Mom. No boundaries. She feels very entitled. A good example. Many years ago, I was in the hospital after a very serious car accident (not my fault). After four months I got discharged. My first day back home, I discovered that Mom had redecorated my apartment. That did NOT go well with me!

I am going for broke here. I need to be really honest and bold with my statement. So many mother in laws are literally a cancer upon the marriages of their sons. The power that they wield to conquer and divide is just astounding. A man who really loves and respects his wife needs to put his mother in check at the very onset of his marriage. Otherwise his mother will "call the shots" over his entire marriage and for the rest of his life. This is dead serious. So many marriages have been destroyed, from the beginning of time, by mothers of son's who want to be "first rank" in their son's life. They compete with their son's wives in an attempt to show that they are the "matriarch" and "alpha female". They will barge into the marital home and take over. Any married man who allows this, deserves to be served with divorce papers. He clearly is violating the "leave and cleave" "forsaking all others" commandments for marriage. Guys, control your mother or lose your wife. Your choice.

My wife was and is treated like a child by her parents and they try to control her and my family. They cannot accept an adult to adult relationship.

If at all costs (pun intended), don’t invite family into your marriage and into the living/ household arrangements.

Love this advice. Very rarely do premarital counseling or the church deal with in law relationships. My husband and I dealt with terrible behavior from his parents for about 7 years. It took far too long. I want to write a book.

The key to avoiding all this mess is as parents you hold that little baby, look it in its sweet little eyes and make a commitment to raising it strong and able so one day it will LEAVE..... That's the purpose of parenting. The joy in seeing your children have their own life is amazing. Dave mentioned Latino culture and how they live multigenerational without arguments....the Mama's know how to let go. That's it.

This makes me feel sooooo much better knowing that my in laws are indeed not being very understanding and respecting our boundaries. Thank you for this!

As someone that lived through this precise boundary issue they are talking about I can tell you that standing up and enforcing that boundary makes the relationship so much better in the long term. It is going to hurt, but you will be so much better off.

People shouldn't get married if they cannot afford to live away from their parents. Leave and cleave.

I was raised very old school. My parents taught us as long as you are under our roof, you go by our rules. We were taught from childhood if you want to do what you want to do, then get your own roof. So, to this couple please get your own roof.

I love how Dave was direct. Dave doesn't like noisey in laws . He has shown that to us on several in laws issues. John doesn't want to be seen as the "bad guy" and rumbles too much. I do Agree with Dave. Great advise there.

She needs to talk with her husband about speaking to his parents about boundaries or move. She also needs to reach out to a therapist.

Always love Dave's directness

“The outlaws”

The "Keeping It Real" award goes to Dave Ramsey!

Love how Dave is always short and to the point!

I love Ramsey’s direct conversation! So helpful. No bs.

I feel bad for all the people who have toxic in laws. 😢 My parents have been the biggest blessing to my marriage. When we lost everything, dad let us move in, when he retired, he let us take over his mortgage and house so he could go do his own thing. When I had my baby, my mom moved in for a few months to help me, and when I broke my leg, my mom and dad took care of my kid and her schooling while I recovered and hubby worked. Thanks mom and dad for making living or relying on you a loving choice and huge blessing that did not kick me in the teeth later ❤ I hope I can become kickass parents and in laws like them ❤❤❤

Great advice for those of us us with grown children that have their own families now. Letting go isn’t easy, bit it’s necessary for all parties involved.

She can always get a job, bring in money and move.

Several issues here, children are picking and choosing what they want to do in the adult world, they get married or start a relationship and first thing is have a baby when you cant provide for yourself with mommy wanting to stay home with the children. What else are the parents providing ?? This is why parents feel they need to be in the childrens life on a daily basis providing various types of support as what you are seeing here to the point where the parents own you because you lack good judgment. Boundaries come with independence. I also been thru the Police Academy , switch career to a fireman.

My mom has been verbally abusing my wife since the day of our marriage. Since then, my wife and I both BLOCKED her and we don’t talk to her ever😂

That was awesome! I just want to say one thing though...Dave it might just be one of your own kids who doesn't want to go to the lake this weekend. Just don't always assume it's the "other one" who is putting the breaks on, please! I say that as the other one who is darn sick of being blamed for everything...even if the in-law is nice to my face. I do mean it, this video is awesome.

This cohost just rambles on when he gives advice 😭 Dave just went straight to the POINT! I miss his solo shows!

Actually I loved both responses and learned from both. Dr. D. is intuitive, like sometimes he can see into your soul just by hearing your voice. He notices things you did not even say. And Dave sums the whole problem up and cuts the BS: straight to the result. Love this combo!

sometimes i dont undrestand why people have to preoccupy themselves with other peoples business, everyone should worry about themselves and mind they're own business.

Twenties, working part-time, and having kids instead of getting established in life first Pretty much the blueprint for poverty, and failure

When you marry, those familial ties need to be cut as much as possible. You don’t HAVE to live on a family property or work in the family business. Those red flags of people overstepping were already present before you said I do. If you can’t separate from family and just let the two become one, you’re not ready to be married.

Be indépendant at "all cost".

I am so glad they said that. Been there done that. Love how blunt Dave is.

I have one rule about my in laws. My husband deals with everything related to his family and I am not to intervene or talk to them in any way. I do the same with my family. When I dated my husband, his mom made a negative comment towards me. I smiled and never said a word to them. I did talk to my bf (now husband) that his mother can choose his next gf. He talked to her that same night. They never said a bad thing about me ever again. Annnnd there can only be one queen in a beehive. It is the caller's fault for living with her in laws.

That was sweet at the end to show how much Dave Ramsey is a lovebug for his family!

Yay about identifying the in-law intrusion. After 17 years, 4 children and 10 moves of my exe's flexing his 'manhood' , my exe announced his mother & sister were his family and he would do what they decided. Those words sealed the break. I hope she heard you both, especially you, Dave Ramsey. Wish I had had such fatherly advice when i was a young, I think that was some of what prepared me for honoring my own children and their spouses. Namaste

Johns second favorite line... carrying some sort of construction material 😂😂😂😂😂

Never force your spouse to set boundaries with YOUR parents.

The anger and resentment will continue to grow!

Everyone that is married needs to hear this !!! ESPECIALLY newly married !

What’s more likely? The mother-in-law is overbearing or the 22 year old is very immature? Great advice though, the young couple needs to get out of this situation and learn to grow up.

My married 23 year old folks lived with his parents. My dad's mom tried to kill me before I was born by trying to push my mom down the stairs. She escaped to a neighbor's house and they moved out that night. They didn't have any contact for 2 years, then my grandmother was killed when she was crossing the street. Better to live under a bridge than live with family.

3:47 Dr. John just talks too much sometimes for my liking. I just prefer the Dave version of things. This is a perfect example.

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.” ― Harvey Fierstein

THIS!!! All of this! Boundaries are so important.

My mother had to tell my father when they were first year of marriage, it is either your family or me, needless to say he chose her. His family had moved in on my parents and expected my mother to act as a maid to them. My father thought they had just came for a visit, but when he was at work, my mother overheard conversation that indicated they had no plans on leaving.

This is SO GOOD!! Thank you!

Talk to your husband about him joining the military. Yes it will be extremely hard at first, but it will be easier after, you will have a place of your own away from your in-laws, military benefits and who knows maybe your husband will mature mentally to stand up for his family.

Dave Ramsey is an absolutely brilliant man. He’s changed my life in multiple ways. He’s taught me so much. I can’t even believe it.

TBH its their own fault. You decide to live in her house to pay cheap rent and get mad at her for being overbearing. Stop picking and choosing when you want to be an adult. It's that simple. You cant have your cake and eat it too.🤷🏾‍♂️

Dave, you give great help and feedback!

Dave is 1000% right! Surprised the "dr" beat around instead of saying move out. Was disappointed in him. Not taking advise from him.

Dave’s perspective is so helpful. Gosh, experience beats all again

Nailed it Dave! Hello from Perth, Western Australia

I'm always uneasy when Dave's sidekicks are nervously rambling on and saying little.

You are in their home, move away to your own home then don't let her boss you around. But if you are in her home then yes she gets some say. If you live in your own home she doesn't set the rules and you can tell her to go.

My in laws are great. They are always encouraging, would help us with anything ( we've never asked), and stay in their lane unless they are totally against a choice of ours, which they never have been.

Dave, you have the biggest heart. ❤️☺️

THANK YOU GRANDPA DAVE RAMSEY!!!

My boundaries have no in-laws.

Dave Ramsey is such a role model for me. So glad I read his book at 19. He's inspired me to start a YT platform and amass a net worth of 70,000$! He even addressed familial issues related to money. Such a great man.

Fantastic advice I wish I had heard this when I was newlywed!

My mother in law almost ruined my marriage as well. We lived with her because we were 18 with a 1 year old when we got married and she tried brainwashing him into thinking I was lazy and not the one for him because I wasn’t from their religion (Jehovah Witnesses) to be exact. Mind you I was the one cleaning the whole house and two bathrooms myself and I cooked for everyone with our groceries and she still complained but I was so drained and depressed about having so much on my shoulders with her three other daughters who were all above the age of 35 single no kids and wouldn’t help at all they would just stare and laugh. I started suffering from panick/anxiety attacks and I stopped caring about what they said and thought about me and stopped trying to please them that I only started looking after my little family and not they’re mess and things that’s when they realized they needed me more than we actually needed them so long story short we ended up moving out a few years down the road and it was the best decision my husband and I made and were both happier and better now. Now his family struggles with the whole cooking and cleaning situation because they hate doing that and with being able to afford mortgage and bills. How life works for those who take advantage of others

The best show in the world these two!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️

My in laws are extremely toxic as well. They seem to somehow be involved in every major decision we want to make in our child or our lives. My wife tries to set some boundaries which often goes ignored. Ive come to learn that they will never change so the best thing to do is just try to keep my distance from them as best as possible.

Dr. JD.. Great feedback!

I've been there and it's painful. The Mother in law is not going to change. Dave you don't need that Dr. You've proved it enough. I wish Bethany the best and Dave is 1000% correct.

My advice would be for her husband to join the military as an MP. Get away from both sets of in-laws, housing and health insurance taken care of, and he gets into LE and has the opportunity to move into either federal, state, or local LE afterward.

I am listening on Audible to that Boundaries book you recommended. It's great and I have read a lot of other books on the subject and am not religious. I liked the part that said resentment is a "sin" that you commit. It's your responsibility to stop your resentments.

My in-laws allowed us to rent their duplex around the corner from them when we first got married. They were good about never coming over and overstepping their boundaries.

Move QUICKLY!!! Peace of mind is priceless!!!

Dang... only your spouse can do something about that!