My New Wife Hid Her Disordered Eating (What Should I Do?)

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On today’s episode, we hear about:
- A man wondering if he should adopt his wife’s son
- A woman struggling to balance work, school and home life
- A wife worried about starting a family on her husband’s income
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29 июн 2024

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@Magdalene952 9 дней назад

Back in the day, I had a friend who told me she was cutting herself. I reached out to a counselor to find out how I could support her through this, because I had no idea what to do. They gave me similar advice as this video. They told me to tell her I reached out for help, because I didn't know how to support and love her. And if she wanted to ever come with me to a session I would love to have her. She was soooo mad at me for saying something. Stopped talking to me all together. She eventually went to that counselor for help (taking a different friend with her) and I was sad she didn't want to associate with me. A few years later, she told me that she told other people what she told me at the same time, but I was the only one who had the balls to actually get her help (indirectly mind you) and it saved her life. I wish the best for this guy and his wife.

@tashamarie8911 9 дней назад

Wow! Thanks for taking the position that saved her life AND cost you your friendship. It takes a lot of character to do the right thing! Awesome friend. 👏🏼

@Magdalene952 9 дней назад

@@tashamarie8911 It was so hard knowing I would lose her friendship, but in my heart knowing I saved her was so much more important. She needed someone as she was going through hell. To this day, I always think God placed me in that moment for a reason.

@lazerlightening 9 дней назад

If you're ever wondering why she stopped talking to you it was because she was ashamed. There was shame that someone who she didn't know or choose to tell that now knew what she told you. Not at all saying what you did was wrong. I've been through the same thing.

@Magdalene952 9 дней назад

@@lazerlightening that's a fair point and one I didn't think about. I hope she knows I never intended to ever embarrass her. I was just really worried and didn't know what to do.

@lindatannock 8 дней назад

@Magdalene952 you did an amazing thing helping your friend, even though she was mad at you at the time. I'm glad she got help and she's doing well now.

@ElisabethCobb 9 дней назад

This poor man. I don’t think he realized how serious his wife’s illness is. John gave him a dose of reality. I hope he finds peace.

@Veracityseeker7 7 дней назад

Yeah😢

@tiegz9770 9 дней назад

He’s only 21 but so mature. I love his love for his wife

@danyelle4010 9 дней назад

The first call hit me straight in the gut. I am getting married in 6 months and have just started to really deal with my disordered eating a few days ago. This call was definitely a sign for me.

@kayemcavaney2610 9 дней назад

Good for you. Stay strong for you and reach out for help because there's a wonderful life about to begin for you. Love to you from me in Australia x

@kbc1883 9 дней назад

Oh, I am so glad this call found you and you were open to meeting its message head on! As someone who has struggled with disordered eating, I know how hard facing this can be. But getting support and really going there, really facing it is such an important step toward a better existence. Sending you love and prayers and hope.

@meowhisd4546 8 дней назад

Proud of you and sending best wishes

@reneeantwi-boasiako3974 8 дней назад

@danyelle4010 All the best 🙏🏿❤️ love from the UK 🇬🇧

@Veracityseeker7 7 дней назад

God bless your healing journey ❤

@MrHCify 9 дней назад

Friends of ours just buried their 27-year-old daughter who was anorexic. This ain’t something to fool around with.

@Mmmmkaaay 9 дней назад

It's the deadliest mental health issue! I'm so sorry that happened. How tragic.😢

@user-pc9px7yz9j 8 дней назад

Yeah. It's odd how things like eating disorders and rqndom phobias just don't exist in other struggling countries.....

@Mmmmkaaay 8 дней назад

@@user-pc9px7yz9j That's because tight knit communities honor the entire person and what they have to offer the group. In modern countries, people worship beauty and money. And if you lack either or both of those, then you are ostracized and treated poorly. So it would make sense that a person would want to be as skinny as possible in order to be loved and accepted.

@rlabarbera 8 дней назад

@@user-pc9px7yz9j those people have more straight up trauma as opposed to complex trauma. They are too much in simple survival to have time to use a defense like an eating disorder or alcoholism etc. It's just life and death. Of course a lot of this is also bio psycho social. The society and culture within which we live determines belief systems and coping mechanisms.

@kcweepy 8 дней назад

@@user-pc9px7yz9j I never thought about that

@lindarockower6028 9 дней назад

First caller, you loving her and being understanding and supportive IS NOT enough. My beautiful sister died from this. Don't give her the option of going without help. Please. Get help for her now. Please.

@ashleywobschall5803 9 дней назад

First caller is such a sweet man. He loves her so much.

@kayemcavaney2610 9 дней назад

Oh wow. So much for a 21 year old man to bear. How mature he is. How much I hope it all works out well for them both. Bless you Cody. You're an amazing young man. Bless you.

@rebekahburgess6198 9 дней назад

I started off anorexic but found the easier path of bulemia where I stayed for over 20 years and still struggle to this day. It is very dark, lonely, and painful. My husband tried to help but like her I thought I could do it myself and had it under control. I was wrong. I finally went to my husband in tears a few weeks ago crying out for help and I was 100% honest about my needs and what I needed him to do. It was embarrassing but the pain I’ve gone through overcame the shame. So now we work together. He has never judged me and was just happy to finally have access to this part of my life in a meaningful way. I don’t always like the involvement he has, but I want full healing more. So we do what is necessary. There is hope here. But John is right: it can be lethal. And it’s very easy to hide.

@theaxe6198 5 дней назад

I see you

@MeowmyandMe 9 дней назад

Nearly died of anorexia as a teenager and did recover without professional help. It was a huge undertaking that consumed a decade-plus of my life and was way more dangerous and intensive than I ever could have imagined. But I did it. The question really is at what cost? When I was so focused on recovery - in my own way, in my own time - I wasn't really living. Today I feel like a slept-walked through 10 years of my life and I am a decade behind my peers in terms of social development. BUT on the positive side I did it! I am here. I am healthy. I love my life. I do think my recovery would have been quicker, easier and less dangerous if I'd had help. But it also might not have been as successful long-term. Going slowly and doing it my way means I am not likely to relapse...no one forced me into this, and I developed systems that were meaningful and helpful to me

@SchmidtBitch 9 дней назад

But did you fully recover or did you just stop doing the main aspect of the condition? Not trying to come off as rude, but you can definitely see it still affects you deeplyly!!

@heidibennett6622 8 дней назад

Wow! I'm impressed and proud of you, stranger on the internet who values yourself and self reflection. Congratulations on reinventing your healthier self!

@MeowmyandMe 8 дней назад

@@heidibennett6622 thank you so much! That means a lot!

@lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285 6 дней назад

That is awesome and makes sense!!🎉🎉

@KnotApps 9 дней назад

Eating disorders are the hardest to 'want' to recover from, the thought of recovery itself is terrifying and revolting.

@MabelRD08 6 дней назад

It's a nightmare 😩😭💔😔

@Aubz47 8 дней назад

I have 12 years of bulimia recovery under my belt. It is a terrible beast to battle. One of the best things I ever learned is that eating disorders are simply a coping technique, an unhealthy one but still one. I had to learn healthy coping skills to be able to enter recovery. I think it can be helpful to open the door of therapy as simply a way to learn more coping skills for all of life. Then getting her in with an experienced ed therapist can begin the process of recovery but it’s a difficult road. There’s hope though. I still deal with my disorder everyday but 12 years later, I know it’s a beast I can defeat

@roeymckelvey8049 9 дней назад

I had multiple eating disorders between the ages of 13 and 24. My life was a complete blur. I started with anorexia, moved on to bulimia, and then to binge eating which at the time they referred to as bulimarexia. At that time, in 1976, no one even knew what anorexia was. Let alone how to treat it. She is lucky to have a husband who's taking this seriously. I hope she's able to get her mind in the right place to accept help. It absolutely can be a life ruiner; it has been for me.

@reneeantwi-boasiako3974 8 дней назад

I'm so sorry 🙏🏿 ❤

@rockpaperscissors. 9 дней назад

Sally!! There's no guarantee you'd have a girl. You could have a third boy. Also, you don't need to make that decision when your baby is 3 months old.

@susieare 8 дней назад

Thank you! I totally agree. This may be controversial, but I also think it might help to visit other healthcare providers. I think so much of this trauma happens because birth is overmedicalised and that makes it hard to give birth! What are the chances the same thing happened twice because they treated her like an item on a factory conveyor both times. It's definitely too early to rule out more children at this stage. I hope she can get some help and some understanding of how messed up the treatment of women in labour is. This was not her fault!

@AnitaSouthall 6 часов назад

Correct you and everyone doesn't have to make such rapid decisions

@sarahalderman3126 9 дней назад

What an amazing man to care so much for his new wife! Utterly incredible to hear. Can’t imagine how different this world would be if more husbands actually loved their wives, like this young man.

@heidisymonds4382 8 дней назад

Whatever ,he's known her since school (weird) and never noticed......cmon now

@sarahalderman3126 8 дней назад

@@heidisymonds4382 what exactly would he notice? That she frequents the restroom? They kids, I would imagine they spend the majority of time out or around other people. I can hear the love he has in the words he chooses. He clearly cares a LOT about her and that is unusual in this world. I have known so many men who only ever complain about their wives. To hear a man praise and honor his wife it truly beautiful.

@lindatannock 8 дней назад

@heidisymonds4382 they obviously didn't live together before, so it would have been easy for her to hide it! People with eating disorders get very clever about hiding what they're doing from others. I've had friends who dealt with ED, and it's a very difficult issue. Blaming her hubby for not noticing isn't helpful at all. He seems like a mature young man for his age, and asking for help is the 1st step for him to support his wife. I wish them both all the best.

@GabeRyanMedia 8 дней назад

I think John really knocked it out of the park with the first caller. Helped him understand the gravity of the situation well.

@elisecarlsen3379 9 дней назад

To the young man who called in from Chattanooga whose wife is struggling with an eating disorder; there is a Womens Renew program connected to Calvary Chapel Chattanooga and also a counselling center called Elbow Tree.

@ashleyduckworthyt3224 9 дней назад

This woman doesn’t need a church counselor she need serious therapy with a specialty therapist.

@ashleyduckworthyt3224 9 дней назад

C-Section Mom- I can’t help but point out that there’s no guarantee you’re going to have a girl… you could have a 3rd son. Would you deal with more grief at that point? Yes but you would have to continue to have MORE kids if you’re fixated on the gender. Do you want another child ? OR do you want a daughter specifically? If you want a daughter, go adopt…

@ambernichols2842 9 дней назад

I needed to hear this as well. It’s so hard to let go of one’s motherhood dreams. The grief of unrealized children has been heavier than all my other life bricks. ❤

@fireflyc1 9 дней назад

I have a friend who had 9 c-sections!! The last 2 were challenging. All of them were healthy babies. She is a grandma today and in her mid fifties ❤ Not a choice for everyone but it worked for her and her family.

@Candypack1 8 дней назад

Mom that had the C-section. I had two emergency C-sections and I can relate to everything you are saying. Just so you know. I went on to have two more C-sections with two healthy happy daughters. In my experience, planned C-sections are much less traumatic and easier to recover from than emergency ones. They’re able to be more gentle on your body and take their time when it isn’t an emergency. You’re able to schedule your birth which is very helpful for all sorts of reasons. I just thought I would share in case you scroll through the comments.

@lindarockower6028 8 дней назад

She's right. You can still have your daughter, it's not the same if the C-section is planned. Look into it.

@lindatannock 8 дней назад

Personally I wouldn't do more than 2 sections for the body's sake, but I'm so happy everything worked out for you! I had only 1 traumatic emergency C-section (under a general anaesthetic because the epidural failed too). I was very ill and traumatised for months afterwards, and got very serious post partum depression. I stuck with one child for that reason. I just couldn't risk it happening again, even though I wanted more.

@Casmomof3 8 дней назад

I had an emergency c-section too on my second birth at 32 weeks. My twins survived because of it. It takes a long time to recover mentally. I would have another c-section if I was planning more children, which I'm not, but I would talk to my medical provider before getting pregnant to inform myself of the risks to me and my future baby. I know it's not advised in my case, so I'm lucky I had my twins.

@Candypack1 8 дней назад

@@lindatannock it definitely comes at a price. Having a children has its sacrifices. I was just trying to make the point that if she has a desire to have more than it could workout. My planned C-sections were much easier to recover from. Obviously everyone’s situation is different.

@ManicMuzee 9 дней назад

I was having some bad struggles with food during 2020. Lots of issues came up. I saw the doctors alot. I saw a lot of different doctors for different things and getting the mental care I needed. 2024 it's not an issue now. It may and likely will come up again if I start struggling again. If that day comes, I'm gonna call my doctors and do it again. I strongly encourage opening up to healthcare professionals and getting aid. The driving force behind my issues was so simple once we caught it. The mind can heal in remarkable ways. ❤

@destinysdesire 9 дней назад

There is no way this lady will be able to resolve this ED on her own. She needs professional help. If she is purging that often, she may need residential, partial hospitalization, or intensive outpatient treatment.

@MabelRD08 6 дней назад

I love how real the caller sounds in his concern to make sure his wife is ok and gets well. I've been struggling for 14 yrs now and it's really hard cause i thought i had everything worked out but i never really did. I'm thankful for my treatment team for being patient with me this past year since I started outpatient treatm for A.N. My mom and sister don't really understand it but they're trying to be more patient with everything involved. Thank you for another interesting episode 💜🥺🌹🦋💯☀️🇩🇴 Gracias.

@catylovesjesus9609 9 дней назад

You're blessed by having two children! We lost our baby at nine weeks pregnant. We were unable to have our children... We did adopt our son, thankfully. I truly understand grief and I still grieve the loss of our baby. Count your blessings... You're a wonderful mom of two boys. Enjoy them

@HauteHorizon 8 дней назад

Regarding the first caller, I'm surprised that he didn't notice. The signs of nutritional deficiencies are always present in the person's skin, hair, teeth, energy levels, and cognitive function. I have a cousin who used to have this condition and thankfully she has not relapsed in the past 7 years. If you want to support people recovering from this condition, it's important to avoid saying anything about their body (even if it's a compliment). For example: it's not good to compliment their waist if they have a small waist because it serves as affirmation for them to continue what they're doing. If they gain a little weight, do not say "you look better." Instead, you could say that they look more energetic and have a pep to their step.

@MyPetIsaNazgul 8 дней назад

Some of us hide in plain sight. Some of this is because it takes time for the deficiencies to be noticable. When I'm at my lowest and sickest mentally, people are always telling me how good I look. It's often easy for people to miss the signs until they are more severe

@MabelRD08 6 дней назад

Thank you for sharing this! My family doesn't really get it but hopefully with therapy they will.

@EKL-qu7ih 5 дней назад

It's not always apparent in bulemia (the physical changes). My sister had anorexia and I agree with your advice - say stuff like you look fresh/your skin looks really gorgeous or something but never 'good to see you've put on weight etc'. People are better educated now but they did always used to be!

@nancyzehr3679 9 дней назад

i beat a 8 yr anorexia/bulimia disorder (13-21) on my own. just finally got sick of being that way. didnt want to be that kind of role model for kids when i had them. one of the worst things about recovery was that no one believed me. that was a whole other road to go down. that was 35 yr ago. funny, i still have bouts of body dysmorphia, which is trippy!

@ChristianOne 8 дней назад

Wow, great job! Good for you! I had a friend in high school & college with these issues and I never knew how to help. I tried different things but any interference just made her angry. This was pre-internet days and before therapy was normalized, and there were few resource materials on the topic available, so I had no idea what to do. We eventually parted ways so I have no idea how her story turned out. But your story gives me hope for her.

@kellenproctor5808 6 дней назад

“One of the things that makes us amazing as a species is we can imagine and create a world in the future and make it so. The problem is when it doesn’t come true we feel lost as though something was taken from us in the real world, and it robs us of that joy that’s right in front of us.” What a powerful quote. It absolutely astounds me how he comes up with stuff like that in the fly on these calls

@taytayqueen7024 9 дней назад

The biggest sign of self confidence & independence, is knowing when to ask for help.

@mo-sy9ws 9 дней назад

And infertility, my sister never had children. Anorexia and bulimia. Still haunts her in the corner of her mind more than 20years later.

@livebreathecreate 5 дней назад

I’m not sure which episode it was, but you standing up for the 13 year old and being upset the church didn’t contact police…. THANK YOU! So many churches hide abuse and hearing someone with Christian values and a platform speak out about it is encouraging.

@estermalkabecker 8 дней назад

Love the final segment!! My kids schools have never allowed any phone except, from 11th grade, a call/ text only and I'm so grateful!

@flashthecorgi2053 9 дней назад

Cody, you’re absolutely amazing! Such a wonderful, loving, and caring husband! She won the lottery marrying you. I wish you and your wife nothing but the best and I hope she goes and seeks healing for the sake of your marriage and herself because as Dr. Delony always says “you’re worth being well” ! ❤

@bananarama480 8 дней назад

The first caller really touched me. We all could hear and feel the deep, deep love he has for his wife through our screens. I'm *so* rooting for them, I hope they'll make it.

@MabelRD08 6 дней назад

THIS!☝️💯Exactly my thoughts.

@pcs1120 9 дней назад

For this caller - a good nutritionist that deals in bulimia can be very helpful

@katie0303 9 дней назад

I had a friend with an eating disorder. It got very bad. It very well could have killed her, but luckily she got past it. She is a healthy now, many years later. There is hope that this battle can be won. I hope the caller and his wife can agree that treatment is the only option. She has not be able to control this for 2 years so she isn't likely going to start now, without help.

@emilieshepherd4005 9 дней назад

Feeding my third baby breakfast right now. My little boy, born via scheduled c section, after his two older sisters were born via emergency c section. I never regretted the decision to have him from the moment I saw that plus sign. If anything, the calm and ease of the scheduled procedure healed me from the incredibly traumatic emergent ones. There’s risk with every surgery, of course! But, your increased risk is not very significant. Some will say survivors bias, I’m just speaking as a mother who knows full well what we are capable of. Do what feels best for you.

@emilieshepherd4005 9 дней назад

@@sallymccarter7655 it was an open conversation from my very first prenatal appointment. He talked me through everything from start to finish and I was able to ask for skin to skin. I believe my husband was able to cut the cord but I don’t remember 100%. It was very very relaxed, very nonchalant. My dr and the anesthesiologist were talking about their fishing trip which was oddly comforting. My first emergency c section I labored for 7 hours until my daughter’s heart rate started dropping. They tried manually breaking my water and flipping me on all fours before I was rushed back very quickly, was hastily briefed on what was happening, my husband was kept in the hallway. My epidural wasn’t working so I felt them cut me, and then was put under general anesthesia while the doctor yelled that the anesthesiologist needed to be quick about it. My second wasn’t that dramatic, I wasn’t in labor but it wasn’t planned. They decided to take her after an abnormal non stress test result. It was quick but was able to be awake for that one.

@susieare 8 дней назад

I haven't experienced a c-section, but your experience seems logical to me. I don't get why John just ran with her preconceived ideas around a planned c section vs emergency c section.

@baileystumpf4428 8 дней назад

@@susieareagreed! He didn’t even entertain the other option. She has an opinion and can definitely get a second opinion from various health professionals depending on what specifically happened

@RetiredArmyMan-fk4yi 9 дней назад

We quit our family because we would wind up killing my wife for more kids. And I kinda like my wife. C-section twice for us; I was only around for the second one; first one I was deployed but it is a big surgery. How do you not know; your docs already had these conversations with you, or you had terrible docs.

@robinharris4247 9 дней назад

I had an eating disorder (bulimia) for many years. I finally just quit. I had had enough. But I did alot of reading to better myself and not sweat the small stuff.

@magpie2163 9 дней назад

@reneeantwi-boasiako3974 8 дней назад

@robinharris4237 So happy for you 🙏🏿 ❤

@ivory8581 9 дней назад

How about no social media ever!!

@skyewatson7199 9 дней назад

Eating disorders came with the territory of my family of origin. They are no joke and can be all consuming. I’m the shortest in my family by several inches due to stunting my own growth as a teen from not eating. When I moved out at 19, the disordered eating sort of resolved on its own, but then I had a lot of other issues that just replaced it. I’m now 37, and my negative coping mechanisms are still very difficult to get rid of.

@reneeantwi-boasiako3974 8 дней назад

I'm so sorry 🙏🏿 ❤

@XpinkandsparkleyX 6 дней назад

Thank you for validating what a major thing a c section is, especially an emergency one😢. Thank you to the wonderful mother who called in to share her struggles. I can relate a lot and am working through some similar things😢

@ma_ncube 9 дней назад

The comments here are so miserable today. Is everyone okay?

@dblueguy 9 дней назад

For real, everyone is extra toxic.

@signalfire15 9 дней назад

They’re mad that he called out the Red Pill in a recent video 😂

@kamarieshines 9 дней назад

@@signalfire15exactly what I was thinking!

@mewgiah8057 9 дней назад

@@signalfire15I hate red pill and still think Delony was wrong on that one. He assumes all red pill men are misogynists that just hate women. When in reality there is a lot of good men who had awful experiences with women that found the movement because they got no support from society. Yes the ideology is dumb and has grifters. But no not every man who follows it are bad people. Delony just instantly assumed and started giving the caller bad advice. Like he missed the part where the wife kept threatening to leave him in random outbursts. Was generally unstable. And Delony goes “she just wants your attention, totally adopt her child”. I’m sorry but adopting another persons child is a heavy decision. And if your spouse is being erratic it doesn’t make you a horrible red pilled misogynist pig for having second doubts. But again he didn’t want to listen and went straight to kicking the guy. This is why a lot of people have issues with what he said - not because he called out red pill. I’m telling you I think it’s a horrible misguided movement and I still thought Delony was being unfair. Edit: I think Delony in general is really bad at giving men advice. He tends to always give them a tough shoulder rather than the grace he affords his female callers. He often jumps to conclusions and assumes they are the problem. He probably thinks all men are red pillers and the second that movement gets brought up he automatically thinks the man is a piece of crap. But he should be listening to the entire call and take the full context before dishing out serious life changing advice.

@lot2196 9 дней назад

@mewgiah8057 💯 agree. Not a fan of this red pill stuff, but the guy in that call is going to get destroyed by that woman.

@harrietbaker4484 9 дней назад

All schools should ban cell phones! Well done!

@taylor-sanchez 8 дней назад

That lady is 3 months postpartum, why in the world does she have to decide at this moment if she wants another kid? Like give yourself some time!!!

@Cosmicvzn 4 дня назад

i was in school during the transition of flip phones and ipods and walkmans to iphones and itouch, etc... we were never able to listen to music or have headphones out and if we were caught texting the phone was taken away. i dont know when that that rule started changing but im glad its coming back! music & texting is for the bus ride only

@nicole.larson 9 дней назад

I wish he wouldn’t asked her about how they felt about adopting. You can still get your little Ruth without putting yourself or another child in danger ❤

@jacquelynbelleisle7472 8 дней назад

Aw, dear Sally! I feel your pain! I had a similar experience with being limited due to some very scary c-sections. My last emergency c/s, my baby had a stroke and had to be airlifted to a NICU (without me!). My doc ended up agreeing that I could have one more if I scheduled it early. Praise God for his quick thinking after birth bc I hemorrhaged and needed various measures and a blood transfusion! My husband spent an hour, holding our newborn son, not knowing if I would come back from the OR. All of that, and I still struggled immensely with having the choice taken away from me to have more kids or not. I also struggled greatly with the “lions den” type of thinking you mentioned. Going in for a c/s willingly, knowing the brutal recovery on the other side is no joke! My baby is now 2 and I have had time to grieve the babies that will not be added to our family and also find joy in the precious miracles in front of me. I also think, in a weird way, I needed the door to be closed for me. I’m the type that would’ve always wondered if I should have had more. Having the door closed for me, while so hard, also helped me find peace in knowing I had all the babies I was meant to. Personally, I would speak to whatever high risk docs are in your area so you know all your options, then make a choice from there so that if you choose not to, you can have peace knowing you made the best decision with all the information in front of you. ❤

@sara-jonathanjerdan738 9 дней назад

I have had two scheduled c-sections, and they were very calm experiences. Sending love to this mama!

@TLynch-pf3ek 8 дней назад

The first caller is amazing. It was triggering for me. Spent a lot of years struggling with this because it was the only thing I had control over, or felt like I had control over. It took a lot of work and self-love to get through it. It's something that never really leaves you. Best of luck to young man, and your wife. You loving her and supporting her through this season, is amazing. John said it perfectly.

@tommyserrato6485 9 дней назад

I’m sorry at 26:20 is a little weird like I know you can imagine your family but let’s say “Ruth” (her third child was born a boy not a girl) then what? Would she keep trying to meet Ruth, and just trying to conceive so she can meet her “Ruth”? I don’t get her thought process, the fact that she is adamant her third child will be a girl she can name Ruth? Like she already had two sons she most likely will have another one if she’s 2/2 in sons? I understand having a vision for a family but when parents are stuck on having a specific gender for a kid just boggles my mind. I’m not throwing shade but I’m just trying to make sense of the fact that she named her third child without being pregnant and without having a girl before and without even talking to her husband about it and with not even being so ok to give birth again? Like why?

@lindatannock 8 дней назад

I stopped after 1 because of a seriously traumatic 1st birth. 37hr labour, C section under general anaesthetic and 8 days in hospital. Also had severe post partum that lasted months and months. I couldn't risk both my health, and my son not having his mum if I tried again. Sometimes you just know when it's time to be grateful for what you have.

@hammer6430 9 дней назад

Oh my. This poor kid has no idea of the monster he is facing in this ED. EDs are so dangerous, so powerful, and so beyond his skill set. Caller, whatever you do, be sure to find those resources who can help YOU and not just her. You are gonna need it my friend.

@jquandt8888 8 дней назад

Regarding the KCCI news story about Des Moines Public Schools banning the use of cell phones by students, I think it's one of the best decisions I've heard in years. Are people taking into account that back before phone greetings which include a menu were common, callers were greeted by a human being. Kids back then did not have cell phones with them. So now they've been carrying cell phones for years and phone protocol has changed. Many schools don't necessarily have a human being always answering the phone, calls might go directly to a menu. Having worked in an Iowa school district for 25 years I can tell you from experience that during the day when I would call an individual school, many times they wouldn't answer and I'd have to leave a voicemail. Sometimes it's because they were doing five things at once which is very common for a school secretary, but sometimes they could be at lunch, or a few feet away from the phone and "let the voicemail pick up". If a parent calls the school with a family emergency, the last thing they want to listen to is a menu of choices. So I hope the Des Moines schools has a plan to make sure calls are answered by a real person, not a menu. If not, parents will be going to the school board complaining that they can't get through to their child during the day for an emergency.

@rachelabate2401 9 дней назад

What great hubby.😊

@lauravergot9995 9 дней назад

Call 1: what ego? Not telling your future spouse something this major is unacceptable. She hid away a huge part of herself and robbed him of an informed choice. John and Ramsey are always going on about choosing a compatible partner with wisdom and this is not it. This is the real reason some people with disorders hide the truth from their potential spouses: they know they might not get the marriage they want. Call 2 facts: they do not cut your bowels during c-sections, come on! There is a huge difference between planned and unplanned c-sections. The former is as safe as medically possible for both mother and child. Most women recover just fine and some are mobile soon after. Every woman is different and heals in her own time. I have seen post c-section women trotting around way before post vaginal birth women with related injuries.

@penelopesage6982 День назад

Dr. John, I luuuuuuv that u talked about Hallow!! 😇

@FFlores79 9 дней назад

In this day and age with social media..everyone wants this magical birth experience and interventions due cause alot of problems unnecessarily but i think the pressure to have this dream birth is so strong that we feel like failures when it doesnt happen. Some women risk their lives and their babys life to try to keep the birth plan they want. The truth is you never know what could happen with each pregnancy or birth and there is grief and lots of feelings

@annedodgson8677 3 дня назад

An eating disorder is serious mental health issue that could translate to years of psychiatry, endless hospitalisation’s and medical costs…

@brooke9847 9 дней назад

I feel so much for Sally. I have only ever had a C-section and the pain and trauma during recovery was nothing I have ever experienced before. Praying I am able to avoid it for our next child.

@mmkvoe6342 9 дней назад

My mom had three C-sections, then two ectopic pregnancies, then a vbac, and doctors and midwives wouldn't even take her as a patient anymore because of the risk as they saw it. She had three more babies vaginally at home unassisted. Yeah, pretty risky, but she certainly wasn't going to have another C-section.

@sallymccarter7655 9 дней назад

Thank you 🙏

@brooke9847 9 дней назад

@@sallymccarter7655 Good luck to you and your family! 🙏

@zoiefinnian3540 8 дней назад

My C-Section was unplanned and was a breeze, over in minutes and easy recovery! My only baby. I had gone into my mother’s natural birth of my baby brother in hospital with her. I was a jr. In high school. I was terrified of giving birth. I only dilated to 4. I had asked all along if I could opt for a cesarean, jokingly. So, I was more than happy to go into surgery:) I breastfed my girl for eighteen months. I’m sorry your mom had a rough time 😢❤

@fff5572 7 дней назад

Poor guy. I started starving myself at a very young age, around 10. I wanted to punish myself, to look as hideous as I felt on the inside. In retrospect, it was almost a natural conclusion given my childhood and early sexual abuse. In high school my best friend noticed the (unwanted) attention I got for starving myself and she began to starve herself too. I was mortified and immediately made changes. However much I haged myself I loved her more- in that way she saved my life. She would soon be diagnosed with anorexia and bulimia. It was an extremely fast decline and she refused help at every turn. She was only one week from her sixteenth birthday when she killed herself. But, having had an ED, I know all too well she had been killing herself for months. Seeing the correlation between suicide risk and eating disorders made it all make sense. It's been eleven years, I miss her so much. God bless that caller, I pray he and gis family get the help they need

@tabithah198 5 дней назад

Birth trauma is hard.. Post Partum anxiety is harder. Letting go of fear from a pediatrician and nurse threatening to call CPS if you ask about leaving the hospital after 24 hours against doctor recommendation with your perfectly healthy newborn... It's hard to walk back into any hospital with any of your children after that.

@sherridevries9144 9 дней назад

Maybe adoption could work?❤

@hansonallie 9 дней назад

My exact thought! A beautiful choice.

@joycestahmann1462 8 дней назад

Marion Woodman's books and work are super helpful for people with disordered eating

@taytayqueen7024 9 дней назад

Eating disorders have become SOO common in this Instagram era. Everything other girl I know is practically under eating. I also struggle with it.

@mignonmykel3571 8 дней назад

Eating disorders rarely go away. Remission, yes, but the mentality behind them often sticks with the person.

@marie-joseepaulzak1936 9 дней назад

I suffered from anorexia and then bulimia from the age of 11 until it was 27. My parents put me in the hospital. when I was 15, where I was force-fed, and got to see a psychiatrist. I kept seeing a psychiatrist for years afterwards, it helped some, and got me off the path of killing myself by not eating. I still did not want to be fat, so I then had bulimia. And as Dr. John says, it has all kinds of hidden consequences; my teeth took a beating and today I have to spend thousands of dollars on implants and other similar things. At the age of 27, in a church service, I got miraculously delivered. That is certainly not for everyone, and I recognize that. But that deliverance made me realize that this was much more than a physical disease, it is truly a mental disorder. When I was delivered, that spirit that had been nagging at me for years, simply went away, and for the first time in a very long time, I was free in my mind. Make sure your wife goes and gets all the help she can get, and if she believes in the power of prayer, then, pray for her deliverance! This disease will rob her of her happiness and of her relationship with you.

@reneeantwi-boasiako3974 8 дней назад

I'm so happy for you 🙏🏿❤️ Praise God!

@elisegothlix1183 9 дней назад

Im still struggling with anorexia and it is so scary. I just havent been able to beat it yet, but i have help. You NEED help to take on this type of mental illness or it will kill you sadly. I hope she gets help asap.

@pandemmonium 9 дней назад

i don’t really agree with john on the second call, it is birth trauma and also medical reality. it can be both. and it is both.

@Veracityseeker7 7 дней назад

Lost one of my favorite people on the planet, to the complications of bulimia one year ago tomorrow. Rest in peace with Jesus, Jro. Love you. This is more serious than this young man realized. God bless them.

@robsgirl7778 8 дней назад

2nd call was so helpful. After severe preeclampsia, we made the hard decision not to have more children. I was only 29, and it was a heartbreaking decision to make.

@snowwhite2709 9 дней назад

She has to get herself help, it's generally not something that you can overcome yourself.

@lynette599 4 дня назад

_The fact that she says she CAN tackle this on her OWN (after TWO YEARS) tells me she WANTS to continue using purging to keep her weight under control._

@aembusiness 7 дней назад

So glad to hear about the highschool in Des Moines!!

@annabland1110 6 дней назад

I’m in a school district about a half an hour from Des Moines and I’m part of a group pushing our administration to ban phones in our district too. I’m hoping we can get it done!

@Morenita570 8 дней назад

I’ve noticed in the comments. Red-pill: Men and women are just DIFFERENT and shouldn’t be treated the SAME!!! Also Red-pill: Why is the Doc ALWAYS treating the men and women DIFFERENTLY!!!

@sharonkelly5437 8 дней назад

I would suggest Dr.Nina Savelle-Rocklin in CA .She really helps you get to the root of your disordered eating plus much more.Wishing you both well!

@natela_mk 8 дней назад

I tackled an 8 year eating disorder, almost 10 years ago, so I know it is possible, but it should be treated like an addiction and she HAS to want to fix it. At that point, any external tools will help tremendously, but recovery starts with her decision alone.

@TheAncientOne 9 дней назад

My local high school use to confiscate, bag and tag. The parent/ guardian had to go to the school to get the phone back, this is back several years but after 9/11. Worked well kinds could have them in their bag or pocket but could only be used in a TRUE emergency. Then the winery parents harped on administrators until they got their way. Overall ACT and SAT scores went down. Glad my kid had graduated by then.

@slowroastedmarshmallow9226 9 дней назад

Feel for the young married couple... Many of us have had difficult childhoods. Question is, how to bring out the Pain so it doesn't stay inside like poison. I am 50 years old and "not wanting to ask for help" is a Big Reason WHY in trouble in the first place. I don't know where some people get Resilience and Overcome hard things. I am on the path to that, but missed out on a lot of Life due to fear of what others would think. Where are all those people whose opinion I valued? Deluded myself that their opinion mattered. God and your OWN self-love are 95% of what makes a good life. Other people cannot "fix" you. Super Wonderful husband, friends and prof. support of course are HUGE. This doesn't have to Dictate your Life! Listen to Tori Amos or Chopin Nocturnes, there is a LOT of pain seeking to be Released. Music and Art are Therapy bc you NEED a Creative Outlet... We all need Healing in one form or another!!

@improbablya7 9 дней назад

i love the air punching in the intro😂👌🏼

@alwaysyouramanda 9 дней назад

Some people do tackle it by themselves.. it needs to be a choice. She probably needs to find control elsewhere.. personally, it was about looks. (And it wasn’t.) 😥

@alwaysyouramanda 9 дней назад

When I started puking, I knew the only way to stop it was to let myself gain the weight. It was so hard 😢 but it gets easier. Your body is fighting you all the way and it will win whether it’s healthy.. or dead. Weight changes. Death doesn’t.

@ashleyduckworthyt3224 9 дней назад

Phones in school- Steven’s High School in Claremont NH have banned phones for a few years now. They take your phone at the beginning of the day and lock them up and you pick them up at the end of the day. Sooo if you wanna shout anything out shout them out :) they’ve already walked the walk

@francisxl368 9 дней назад

What time does this show take place? Also if you call in what time would they pick up?

@Mjl449 9 дней назад

You email them a summary of what you’d like to speak to him about, and if they want to have you on the show they will contact you and set up a day/time.

@Jaycarbrownie12 8 дней назад

Be there for your wife . She deserves love. Imagine being her.

@pld-wc7gf 8 дней назад

If I married someone who hid a serious mental disorder from me until after we got married, I would know that they didn't actually love me.

@brandonedmonds4041 9 дней назад

First caller try eating mostly beef,that has really helped me.

@merricat3025 9 дней назад

Why does that help?

@brandonedmonds4041 8 дней назад

@@merricat3025 Seek and ye shall find

@LaciRae 8 дней назад

@@merricat3025i’m pescatarian, so i don’t eat beef, but eating pescatarian keto helped me because i was able to eat & still lose weight for the first time in my entire life. it helps a lot of people with buIimia not feel the need to purge.

@zoiefinnian3540 8 дней назад

I’d love to know also… that sounds awful

@brandonedmonds4041 8 дней назад

@@zoiefinnian3540 Search for yourself

@reneest7644 9 дней назад

So hard, i hope things work out

@jesssc402 9 дней назад

Sadly this is more common than we think

@oterosocram25 6 дней назад

Great episode

@cherylvisconti 8 дней назад

First caller needs to call a pediatric doctor. 21 and married?! This isn’t going to last so go now or later.

@Catechuman23 9 дней назад

To the second caller regarding more kids/continued C-sections, the trauma is very real. My wife had 2 emergencies as well, and 3 years later still struggles to hear/think about others easy short births. On July 1st we go in for the scheduled C-section for our third! God bless!

@sallymccarter7655 9 дней назад

Praying for a smooth delivery and easy recovery for you!

@Ja50nkAt 8 дней назад

This is my fear of marriage, someone can lie and not tell you something serious about their health, and woopsy not it's your problem as well and if you end it you look like a bad person.

@Cyd1057 9 дней назад

Way to go, Hoover High School!

@MamaK1776 8 дней назад

C Sections: I had 2 emergency and 1 scheduled. All boys 1. C sections require the bravest strongest moms 2 I felt better way faster after the scheduled one 3. I also felt like I didn't get to choose for myself when to be done

@nuko5882 7 дней назад

I would have thought the 1st step for the mother is to ask 2 or 3 of the best obstetricians about the risks etc and if those are eliminated by scheduling a c-section rather than using it as the emergency backup plan. If all 3 say it won’t be an issue that’s probably correct, if 2 say that and 1 isn’t as confident, get another 2 opinions.

@Menckenperson 10 дней назад

"On todays episode" is recycled from Wednesday.

@user-ls2rz4zh4o 9 дней назад

So this is a re run episode or what ?

@troyspears6470 9 дней назад

These are not the same stories from Wednesday, so what are you talking about?

@Menckenperson 9 дней назад

@@troyspears6470 In the description they always put the topics for the show and they are recycled from Wednesday

@Ufoupmyass 3 дня назад

had anorexia in summer then bulemia in the winter. was puking $150.00 worth of food a day. i did it all by myself

@lionheart93 9 дней назад

people should start with excercising and see that we can eat all foods in moderations and not get fat. Lean bodyfat % isn't healthy

@pld-wc7gf 8 дней назад

You think people with eating disorders don't understand basic biology? I've seen obviously anorexic women working out like they're trying to kill themselves.

@falkonladi8 9 дней назад

It’s originally from Tommy James and the Shondell’s. (I think we’re alone now)

@delightschwartz2155 8 дней назад

For the woman wanting baby #3, there is always adoption. I would try to avoid getting psyched out by considering only a naturally conceived and birthed child a possibility. Some of the best parent/child relationships I've ever had the privilege of witnessing were foster infants that were adopted. But the fantasy of the perfect labor and birth is a terribly seductive one; a couple of my relatives had near-death labor emergencies, one resulting in toxemia, emergency C-section, a stillborn infant and very nearly, the mother. Reality can be a real brutal 180. But the ability to adapt your approach to favor both safety and happiness is a rare gift. Best of luck to this woman.

@KandBacres 9 дней назад

Psilocybin therapy. Stuggled wkth Eds for many many years, through the love of my husband and the helo of natures gift of pailocybin I am beyond recovered...wish more people knew about this avenue. Research isnt going fast enough. Lives can be saved and turned around.

@LaciRae 8 дней назад

i’m in touch with psilocybin. how did You go about healing Yourself with it exactly? i have full faith in it. i’m just curious what your technique was.