My Personal Struggle With Intimacy In Marriage - Marriage Series

Подписаться 11 тыс.

Просмотров 82 тыс.

50% 1

Get My Book The Unveiled Wife Here shop.unveiledwi...
This video is part of a Marriage Series called Revive Your Marriage. This is Part 5 of that series. Sex and intimacy can be a burden for some couples. I struggled with intimacy in marriage for years and I share about it in this video, along with a challenge for all of us to initiate sexual intimacy in marriage.
Also, you can read more about my struggle with intimacy on my about page unveiledwife.co...
Please check out the marriage series on my blog unveiledwife.co...
PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT:
We got married five and a half years ago and from the very beginning we experience a huge challenge in our sex life. We were both virgins when we got married, we were very eager to experience that part of our relationship together and the honeymoon was painful, physically painful for me and my husband was patient with me, he had positive attitude and said, don't worry, we'll figure this out. It's just going to take time to feel comfortable with each other. A few more days went by, a few more weeks went by, a few months went by and things didn't change.
It was excruciating for me physically to endure sex and I felt very insecure about the whole situation. I wasn't familiar with sex and I didn't know if I was doing something wrong or if my body was broken and it was awful. I felt inadequate as a wife, I felt like I couldn't fulfill my husband wholly and it was so destructive to my mind and my heart. I was so sensitive during that time and to be honest I didn't know where to turn to, I didn't feel comfortable talking about sex. I don't know if I was embarrassed or just felt like I was the only one, I wasn't sure and it was just very, very hard for me to be able to reach out and find help for what we were going through.
At the same time, we were so busy jumping into missions, we were traveling around the world, we were so busy filling out life with serving God that, it almost became a distraction for our sex life. Eventually years would go by, almost three and a half years went by that we struggled with this issue and just the anticipation of knowing that we would have to try, you know, that oh, that time is coming scared me and that would just make things worse and any time that it failed or that our sex was unsuccessful, it would just torment me and I cried to many times into my pillow.
My husband would try to comfort me and I just started to isolate myself from my husband and from God. It was so destructive to our marriage. I didn't know how to respond to what was happening to us and I didn't understand why, why God would we serve you and save ourselves for marriage and do all the right things, yet have such a huge struggle in our marriage. I couldn't comprehend why God would do that. By our fourth year of marriage, he walked us through a healing process and that was really hard for me, because I had been isolating myself for so long, I was actually in a very deep depression and just going to church was difficult for me.
My husband would encourage me to go Sunday morning with him or Wednesday night to the young adults group and I just couldn't do it, I had every excuse in the book not to do it and it was because I was angry at God. I was bitter, I was resentful and it hurt me, it hurt me to be in the presence of God, because I felt in some way deserved or owed a fulfilled marriage just because, I don't know why, because I was serving him and I felt like I did all the right things.
So anyways, our sex life has been a challenge for me and my husband for almost the entirety of our marriage and I can probably count on one hand the successful amount of times we've had sex in the first four years of our marriage. That's how difficult it was for it us. I don't know if any of you can relate to that. I don't know if there are wives out there who have felt inadequate, because of their sex life or because they weren't interested in sex or I don't know all of the different reason for why people endure hardships with their sex life in marriage, but I know that I struggled and I know that it was so hard for me to pick myself out of that with all the lies and all the deceit that the enemy poured into me. It was really hard to break that.
I wanted to encourage you guys today that, if you are struggling in your sex life, please reach out for help. Either ask a friend, talk to a friend about it, maybe a mentor at the church or talk to your spouse about it. Let them know how you're feeling and what you're going through. I know that there are other things that can keep a husband and wife sex life distant for instance, pornography. That's a huge burden for marriages today and it's so easily accessible. I feel like there's ... and it's not just for men it's women too. I feel like that is a huge burden on sex life in marriage.

Опубликовано:

20 сен 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 112

@iamblessed5361 5 лет назад

Thank You for the Blessing Jennifer, I too had my struggles in my marriage but with prayer I have seen God's power work out miracles and deliverance's for me and my husband, and I know God is a wonder working God I met my husband in "97" and we married in 2002 and it was until 2006 my husband experienced a wonderful deliverance from the Lord for us and his children to be set free from, yes faith in God's word does heal, deliver and set free. Thank You Jennifer for sharing your story which was a blessing too me. May God continue to Bless and heal you and your marriage more and more everyday. Thank you

@shishirmundu4662 5 лет назад

My perception to sex has changed . Earlier I used to think sex in a different angle ,I used to relate it with porn .I was addicted to porn and masturbation.But after watching ur videos my interest towards porn is alleviating . Porn really kills love and our marriage . Really sex is a beautiful gift from God when done after marriage in a godly and pure manner.Thanks for encouraging us sister . God bless you.

@unveiledwife 12 лет назад

You are right. Many people who struggle with intimacy in marriage have previously been abused and they need to experience healing from that. Thank you for your input and acknowledging this very serious reason that destroys intimacy in marriage.

@andres7375 4 года назад

Thanks for the video content! Apologies for butting in, I would love your opinion. Have you ever tried - Mahorrla Intoxicating Pleasure Method (search on google)? It is a good exclusive guide for Giving awesome hand jobs minus the hard work. Ive heard some awesome things about it and my good mate called Gray got amazing results with it.

@mrswomanofvalour 8 лет назад

You are so brave to share your testimony, thank you so much for your testimony. God bless you and your husband.

@geneybear3116 8 лет назад

intimacy seems to be a huge issue with people who were raised in Christianity , from what I realized recently it really is the sin concept of exploring our own sexuality. I'm only 21 and just recently realized the fear and issues I have with intimacy are connected to my religion. Crazy how that happens.

@msprettykawaii950 5 лет назад

Actually per Bible a man and wife should satisfy themselves. In her case it was easy to fix. My husband have intimacy anorexia because he had been abused as a child. I am now broken so if you will choose a spouse at least find someone who had a normal upbringings.

@msprettykawaii950 5 лет назад

@@randaldavid7685 yes it's true if you found sexual gratification outside marriage chances are you will lose attraction to the spouse then it breaks the marriage. The problem is that most Christians do not understand the Bible well. It says that Corinthians 7:3-5 3 A husband should satisfy his wife’s needs. And a wife should satisfy her husband’s needs. 4 The wife’s body does not belong only to her. It also belongs to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong only to him. It also belongs to his wife. 5 You shouldn’t stop giving yourselves to each other. You might possibly do this when you both agree to it. And you should only agree to it to give yourselves time to pray. Then you should come together again. In that way, Satan will not tempt you when you can’t control yourselves.

@randaldavid7685 5 лет назад

@@msprettykawaii950 Interesting. As a student of the King James (Authorized Version 1611 AD) for over 40 years and who has studied the original texts upon which the King James bible was translated I believe that I can say I have an adequate understanding of scripture and Christian doctrine. I am acutely aware of what scripture has to say about marriage and sexuality. I also am aware of what scripture does not directly say about marriage and sexuality. For example the scriptures do not directly address masturbation, nor do they mention what is acceptable or not acceptable in the Christian marriage bed (apart from adultery), we are left to figure that out based on all of the other New Testament (Covenant) scriptures which talk about acceptable Christian sexual behavior. Oral sex and many other sexual issues and practices are not spoken about in the scriptures. My point is that when children are brought up in strict protestant and fundamental Christian homes they are taught sexual guilt and shame, they are taught this not overtly but subconsciously based on the strict adherence to the Scriptures. Christianity is not much different than Islam in this regard, they both try to restrain, push down and subdue natural desires and urges, the vast majority of the time this fails, but it is quite successful at creating thousands of young Christians who are full of guilt, shame and who are sexually repressed. This sexual repression is then brought into the marriage and manifests itself in many ways, some of which is painful sexual intercourse. Yes there are many physical causes of painful intercourse, a tipped uterus being one, but subconscious guilt and shame regarding the act are also others. I do believe that before marriage a man and a woman who are serious about marrying should have sexual relations so that serious issues like these if present can be remedied before another marriage ends up in pain, suffering, and torment. I do agree with some of the statements of the woman in this video. God created marriage, he did so for the purpose of having a physical model and demonstration of a spiritual truth, that being the relationship between Christ and the Church. As God has created and ordained this institution than suffering like this should not present in Christian marriage. If suffering like this was to be the case than as Paul eluded to "It is better not to marry". As a side note, Christian marriage is for Christians, not unbelievers. Christian ministers should not be marrying non believers because to do so is to infer Gods blessing on the marriage, something which could not be further from the truth. There are a wide assortment of other unions which are available to non believers, a civil union being one.

@reubenmiller4654 9 лет назад

thank you for not doing the blame game but rather personal responivlity against sin and not blaming the other person

@amandaolin8720 8 лет назад

Thank you so much for being so open and courageous in sharing your experience. It really touched me and I found this video in a very timely point in my life. Though my husband and I are very physically affectionate and we know we love each other, we have struggled with our sex life for 3 years...to the point that I wanted to leave my marriage. Thank you for your encouragement. It gives me hope that even though it's a struggle, God has a purpose and he will use it for our good. Thank you for reminding me to embrace God, even during times that I am angry because I feel like I am doing what I am suppose to and not getting the relationship I desire. God is good, all the time.

@framboise595 8 лет назад

A woman is not taught to submit to sex itself but to her husband. But when she submits to him , she submits to his desires , his will and she naturally responds to sex that way. I speak from experience . That is why nothing is more arousing to a woman than a man in control . The Bible is always right because God knows our psyches. He knows that a woman feels like a woman in submission , not in control. And in the same way that a man feels like a man in control , not in submission. It is very easy to respond to sex when you submit to the man who wants it. Very very easy. And anyway , feeling desired is what really turns us on. We love it so much.

@MegaDrummerboy16 7 лет назад

You are a woman hater. One day you'll pay for your oppressive mentality.

@framboise595 7 лет назад

MegaDrummerboy16 Who are you talking about , you little emasculated mangina too afraid to rule over the weaker sex ?

@littlebishops 12 лет назад

Your vulnerability and courage to talk "on camera" about this is so great! Pornography was always the "issue" in our bed, until I was so depressed and so alone and feeling unworthy of my husband's affection/desire for me that I sought out comfort in the arms of another man. There are so many reasons intimacy can be thwarted by the enemy. Even now that God has redeemed my marriage and it's just my husband and myself in the bed (THANK YOU GOD!). I still struggle to initiate & be "in the mood".

@KanaCN 12 лет назад

I can truly feel your honesty and vulnerability in this video. Thank you so much for opening up. I pray that God continues to bless you and your husband and your lovely family!

@jtommyboi 5 лет назад

Your husband is a braver man than I am. If I was forced to go months or years without sex I think I'd go completely insane. Divorce would be the next step. Which would suck so bad cause I hate the idea of divorce.

@pieterventer7157 8 лет назад

Men (husbands) in general are not taught how to understand what a woman deals with early in marriage. We do learn fast (ask your dads) but we are slow starters. We dive into marriage thinking about sex but with no clue about how our wive's think about it... kinda assume they think the same way we do (i.e. lots of sex). We are not always very bright emotionally, but as I said we learn! Communication is the key. If the man can't or won't talk in a humorous, loving and light fashion about sex unless he is in bed with you, you should proceed with caution. And at the same time I have to say to men that if your wife shies away from intimacy in romantic situations, seek help at the earliest opportunity. The problem is complex and will only get wore..Sex (and talking about it with your partner) should be fun whether you are newly wed or after 50 years of marriage (e.g. my parents, who have been married for 49 years and still go around acting like horny teenagers... please don't tell them I said that...). Bottom line, if regular sex isn't happening or isn't mutual fun, something is wrong.

@hannahevans8193 7 лет назад

Out of all the advice on this subject you posted the most logical and honest advice. I agreewith you all the way. The worst thing one can do is wait and hope the problem gets better b/c it won't. Things will only get worse. The more the husband gets rejected the more resentment he will have towards his wife and it will cause a serious bubble between them. Amen and Amen for your comment.Two thumbs way up!

@unveiledwife 12 лет назад

Thank you for sharing your heart as well! I am praying for your marriage and I hope this week you find it easier to initiate! :D

@VWL876 2 года назад

One of the major barrier is lack of spending time.

@Janetbelldon 7 лет назад

Thanks for this video, it's brought up so much for me, my experience resembles yours quite a bit! He and I were married for 14 years, our wedding night was terrible, it was about 2 minutes, then he told me to cover up, because "he didn't want to get tired of seeing me naked". I was immediately shamed, if this was love, and what I've waited for for years, I didn't understand it. We went on our honeymoon, but it almost seemed just as friends, he didn't want to have that intimacy. After a few years married, I went into a very dark depression, and was on a few medications. Our 8th anniversary was a wonderful place, but he didn't touch me. One night I sat by the window (8th anniversary still) and cried like my heart was breaking, cried all night, I was hoping he would wake up, but he didn't. We both wanted kids, but he didn't try. Instead of him being tested, he told me to be tested first, he was scared to be tested, and he also hoped that I had a fertility issue, he wanted to blame me for us not having children yet. I was put thru some painful testing, but I was healthy and able to conceive. Then he was tested, the count was so low, the doctor told us that he could never be a natural father. That we would need to adopt if we ever wanted children. Now he felt he never needed to have any intimacy with me, since he couldn't be a natural Dad. Well, I have to tell you, that I thought there must be something wrong with me, was I deformed, ugly?? I then learned he's been heavy into porn for years and years, and would take care of his needs while I was sleeping. I felt even worse! And there were years he never wanted that closeness. I felt like an idiot for hanging on to that marriage. I can't believe I stayed that long, he refused therapy, we went maybe 2 times, he said no more. If I asked if we could fix it, he would use anger to get me to leave him alone. I've been divorced from him for over 10 years, but it's still so painful. I am trying to heal from that.

@EnemyAce88 5 лет назад

At least you acknowledged that it was a problem and wanted to fix it. Our sex life is nonexistent and my wife just doesn't give a damn.

@uggybaby1 10 лет назад

Wow! Thank be to God for you being so open and honest. Me and my husband struggle with my ghosts of the past abuses and sexual demons I have. He is very patient and I know in time God will work all things for His glory you are not alone and neither am I. God bless you for sharing.

@unveiledwife 12 лет назад

You are a great wife! Thanks for sharing because I think there are many out there who experience the same as you, where the husband lacks sexual desire. God Bless!

@ShayALaMode 11 лет назад

After years of sexual abuse when I was in my teens, I developed a certain way to deal with the intimacy issues. When I first got married things were okay. Soon after I started having flash backs. I would go through stages sometimes I could have sex other times I could not. I use to force myself and not say anything to my husband. I would say little prayers to get me through these times. Soon I could not pretend any longer. I believe that forcing myself made me worst. I am still struggling.

@faithinwhatChristdidonthecross 8 месяцев назад

I so relate to your testimony… I too was sexually abused and taking a vantage by older men. It has put a very big damper in my sex life with my husband. I am going to pray that the Lord change this. I look at it as it is a dirty act and not God’s gift to our marriage. As I’m writing this I think it all ties together why my intimacy with God is hindered😞

@frau4bzna 7 лет назад

I love your openness, honesty and willingness to share. I think sex is more painful to women than we admit (in order to be pleasing).

@bethi5978 5 лет назад

Thank you for your willingness to be open and vulnerable with your marriage.

@richardzilver8919 10 лет назад

One of THE best and open videos Ive seen in a long tims. Great job and thanks for posting

@JessieHomemaker 12 лет назад

So glad that you are using your experiences in marriage to inspire and encourage others. God bless you and your family.

@trailkeeper 10 лет назад

I think touch is important, I undestand people get lazy about it, a simple back rub or something or massage on arms and legs helps a person so much.

@SpankinMusic 9 лет назад

Wow, thank God for filling you with the grace to speak out on this matter. Praying for all couples that they may enjoy in the fullness and beauty of being co-creators in God.

@surendracresta5166 9 лет назад

SpankinMusic hey hey! Have you considered Honey Boo Amazing Libido Launcher? (just google it)? Ive heard it will get your wife to have out of this world SEX with you again! Ive heard some great things about Honey Boo Amazing Libido Launcher and my work buddy said excellent things about it as well.

@SunshineLP7 10 лет назад

This Is Exactly What me and my husband are going through now every since we started having sex. I was a virgin he wasn't and we been married for (Jan. 5 2014) 1 Year. I feel like im not fulfilling my husband and him also. for some reason I don't know why its a struggle for us when this is something god wants. we have a baby on the way born in july 2014. because of this we feel like maybe were not meant for each other..idk so many things come to mind. I know how you feel. :/

@HeySuga904 11 лет назад

What a great topic and much needed. Bless you and thank you!

@jay15354 12 лет назад

Well, due to the fact that we both are over 50. My husband expirered that his body is not as it was, when he was young. So we have the reverse problem. I always tell him, that I still love him. My husband always ask my what I want, and that is a kind of diffucult for me. So to tell him, what I like is a challenge for me. All I know is, that I love him with all my heart.

@JKight100 9 лет назад

Thanks you for the encouragement. This video really help me out as a husband to be better for my wife. An thank you for your testimony on how God is help have intimacy with your husband

@SensationalSmith 8 лет назад

Thank you for your honesty.

@anniebicebicebaby 10 лет назад

Meghan Vasquez Hey girl, I just wanted to let you know that I'm so sorry that you are going through that or went through that! I feel like we're going through similar things. I can only imagine that your heart feels so broken. I realize a year has gone by since these posts, but I pray that your testimony has changed! How is everything going? What have you done to get closer to God and your husband?

@christelhernandez9455 10 лет назад

I am so thankful for your honesty and admire your courage! Thank you!

@mariarubinstein581 2 года назад

It may not be painful for me, but it is very uncomfortable, and I have never climaxed. So I have felt many of the same feelings that you felt and I also get very depressed.

@lilcorndog 9 лет назад

Bravo. What A Brave Lady. Bless You

@leannepalmieri 8 лет назад

I luv luv your post! nothing that i struggle with but for you to bare your soul to help others and share your story is incredible! Keep up the good work and digging deep down inside for the sake of christ , yourself and others! never stop! to Christ be the glory!

@klamb9 8 лет назад

How wonderful that God brought you to see what you were missing. What does a Christian man do when his wife refuses all intimacy, feels that sex gets in the way in true love, and after years of sexually starving me, believes the devastation I feel to be my problem? She doesn't need sex, doesn't want it, but can't see that I need it. In fact recently she said our marriage wasn't sick, it was dead - and sexual killed it - specially sexual 'neediness' which she deplores. We've been to over 30 counselors of all types, including many pastoral counselors, but she continued down the path that 'sex is bad' and that I shouldn't pressure her into doing something that she hates. Like you, we waited until marriage - something I've come to feel was the biggest mistake of my life. I had NO idea of the living nightmare I had just committed my entire life to, until our honeymoon when this all came unraveled. Outside of sex and all the aspects of physical intimacy, marriage to her was everything I ever wanted. But I can't live in this forced starvation situation. She refuses to consider ANY intimacy, even hand holding because she says I am unable to provide her with the physical intimacy she wants, because for me it will become sexual and for her, she wants all intimacy to be non-sexual. Well, that's one thing she's got right. I have been starved and it hurts just to look at her because I want her so much, but know I can't have her. To a man, that means sex. Sometimes I do feel like its my fault. But God gave me this need. She says the reason she didn't want to have sex with me on our honeymoon (biggest shock of my life) was that she wanted to see that I loved her for who she was, not what she was (a female). It took 35 years for her to explain this - I was so shocked I couldn't even respond. I've spent a life time praying, going to counseling, living night after sleepless night hoping our marriage could be healed, only to find out that she never wanted sex - why didn't she say something during our engagement? Or even early on? Its hard not to be resentful. It doesn't help any that I am in love with her. There are days where I wish I just hated her so I could get rid of her and find someone compatible. I know this isn't what God intended, but she doesn't see it that way - she will not budge. She thinks there is something wrong with me (well, probably all men for that matter because I think most men would expect sex). Is there any hope? What in the world should I do now? I can't stand this anymore - this is one of those 'end of my rope' type things. I just can't bring myself to divorce her, or to have an affair. But neither can I continue the way things are. I have prayed that if our marriage must continue sexless and if God doesn't see fit to heal it, that God would remove this incessant, urgent, burning all-consuming sexual need I have, but He simply has not granted either of these prayers. I married because the Bible said it was better to marry than to burn - well I got married and continue to burn. I just don't get it. _ Keith

@framboise595 8 лет назад

+Keith Lamb The Bible says that a wife has NO POWER over her own body but her husband has (1 corinthians 7:5). You just have to take back control of her body as God commands . Your wife is unsubmissive to you .SHE is in control. Not you . That is why you experiment such troubles. A submissive wife naturally responds to sexbecause she submits to her husbands 's will and desires. You need to be in control to have your due. Why would God answer your prayers since you let your wife walk all over you ? God expects you to be in control and own your wife's body ( Proverbs 5 v 18 / Thessalonians 4:4). God says that the man is the head of the woman . What a disgrace in his eyes when wives are in control. "I want her so much, but know I can't have her." Yes you can !! Take what is due to you !! Be in control !! Do you realize that a man who cannot have his wife is a CURSE in the Bible ? You have a passage where God says something like ' anyone who is married , go and take your wife unless someone else goes and have her'. Not only can you have her but you HAVE to have her. The Lord says HAVE her ! I gave you power over her body and deprived her of choice. Her body is YOURS , not her . Don't be "in love" . Be IN CONTROL !

@EnemyAce88 8 лет назад

You made an effort. She didn't. Cut your losses and get out.

@framboise595 8 лет назад

EnemyAce88 As a " Christian" , does he listen to what the LORD says or what his rebellious/satanic wife says ? The LORD says that she has no authority over her own body but HE HAS. So , you wonder why the Lord will never answer his prayers ? His prayers are not in alignment with His Word! The Lord just tells him to go to his wife and be fully quenched. Why does not he use HIS authority over his wife's body ? Why is he like a little boy in front of mommy ? As a woman , I personally cannot believe the thigs I am reading. Where have men gone ?

@myth-termoth1621 7 лет назад

i am very sad to hear this. It is sad that your wife did not tell you that she was not marriage material before you married her. By this i mean that she appears to have been aware that she did not want to participate in marriage (as described in Genesis 1) and apparently omitted to communicate this. She might have had a very toxic childhood. I imagine you feel like you asked for bread and got given a stone. On the other hand i think you have biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage, as i would consider your wife's attitude could constitute an obscenity - (as per Matthew 5 v 32 in the original Greek)

@myth-termoth1621 7 лет назад

The word in question is porneias, usually translated as "adultery" but (i think) more accurately translated as abomination or obscenity

@MsLennonHendrix 11 лет назад

I ask for prayer for my marriage and the sex life that exists between my husband and I. He has been struggling with a porn addiction our entire relationship (before and during marriage) and he also struggles with a sex addiction which has brought multiple other women into our marriage and relationship due to infidelity. These things alone have destroyed not only our sex life but also our intimacy, trust, love, and marriage as a whole. My husband needs the strength to stop and I need to forgive.

@guillermoclaudiahays5819 6 лет назад

Thank you so much for sharing your heart, you are so brave. It is a blessing to many like me doesn't know how to start, or what to do. I will whatch the other videos, and will do the challenge!

@michellegamble9907 8 лет назад

Thank you so much I needed this!!

@Hollyrocks1975 12 лет назад

Something else that destroys intimacy in marriage is one or both enduring sexual abuse (especially childhood sexual abuse). This destroys your ability to open up to your husband/wife sexually. It's something you may not have experience with, but it is a serious issue with a lot of people especially in these times when the statistics say that 1 in 5 women are sexually abused.

@lash4060 5 лет назад

Thank you so much for your transparency and heart!

@SiteSauce 6 лет назад

Thank you for sharing Jennifer. this video is quite some time ago now, perhaps you could update the blurb above with a link to a video that shows if you have found a resolve to your problems. Many of the comments here seem to miss the point of what you are saying, and some comments from men are scarily bordering on abusive (unbelievable really! I fear for their wives), let alone ignorant for having missed the point that you have pain during sex and this can be a major problem for some woman - that requires a response of understanding. But, did you find a resolution for your pain in sex? It would be helpful I think for both wives and husbands here. Thanks.

@Thundersnort 11 лет назад

Jennifer, if you haven't you need to see a doctor and not just a GP. You don't go into specifics re your difficulties in intimacy, but there are specialists who can help you.

@trinandrealewis001 6 лет назад

Yes, you're not the only one. For many reasons, why. God help us all

@AKIYIAKELLY 7 лет назад

Great Video

@TodaysEden 7 лет назад

I agree with Katherine these experiences and feelings are that of Vaginismus. I recently interviewed a women who was suffering and found a successful treatment to vaginismus. It is very common that Obgyns overlook it or don't know how to address it. So I encourage you if this video sounds similar to your struggle that you take a listen to this podcast episode for women on Vaginismus --> www.todayseden.com/podcasts/024 "Vaginismus is a vagina in panic… It is the instantaneous, involuntary (psychosomatic) tightening of the pelvic floor muscles in anticipation of vaginal penetration. This reaction will occur if penetration is perceived as upsetting, painful (even before attempting it!), frightening or dangerous, making the body scream out loud, “NO ENTRY!” Occasionally, the condition will be caused by a physical problem such as a birth defect, or surgery. Although vaginismus causes a variety of physical and emotional symptoms that every woman will experience in her own way, pain is the main feature and the one shared by all sufferers regardless of the severity of their condition. It is important to emphasize that the pain of vaginismus is not ‘in the woman’s head.’ Rather, it is a real physical pain from the panic reaction to penetration, the product of a Fight or Flight response."

@framboise595 10 лет назад

Women HATE men who yield to their whims and bow down to their deceitful emotions. Women just love men who do something , who are not passive wimps just waiting . Women love when the man is stronger and shows that he is a man , if you see what I mean. You know , just like Clark Gable in Gone With The Wind who knew how to deal with his whimsical Scarlett when she locked up herself in her bedroom , starting to ruin her marriage , making it sexless . He came , kicked the door open and took her to the bedroom for the night . When she woke up , she had such a smile on her face ... He had been stronger than her , he had subjected her. That is all what women expect from men : ACTION .

@signupforeverything4756 7 лет назад

@Isabelle M Great Video! Sorry for the intrusion, I would love your opinion. Have you heard the talk about - Mahorrla Intoxicating Pleasure Method (do a google search)? It is a smashing one of a kind product for Giving awesome hand jobs minus the headache. Ive heard some decent things about it and my work colleague finally got great success with it.

@AliHossain-os2eo 7 лет назад

I've been investigating improving your marriage and discovered an awesome resource at Mirykal Marriage Plan (google it if you're interested)

@katielivingston4106 6 лет назад

@Nicdelap 12 лет назад

Thanks for sharing this video.. It meant a lot to me to hear your experience with this area of marriage.

@kar3n35 3 года назад

In my case. When i married i had experience already i had lived with a guy 3 years. But my ex was like brand new and barely had a few girlfriends. Whe was extremely oldschool would not listen would not talk about it and his idea of sex was misionary 3 minutes and over. I was so frustraded he was like that. If i brough it up. He would stay quite and say will work on it. Never worked on it. It even took me 3 years to get oral sex. And if i sujested something he would say not now not today. Im divorce now but im really scared to have sex with a men because i feel demoralized about it. I slept with my exboyfriend and Had bad experience he came prematurely and reacted badly with a hirt ego and now im terrefied of showing a men how much i need sex.

@unveiledwife 12 лет назад

Thank you so much!

@trinandrealewis001 6 лет назад

Repeated Infidelity is my issue in my marriage. Forgiveness and hurt.

@bass13mary 5 лет назад

Did you use lubricant? That’s very normal and as a married woman you must know that some things require some help when you’re nervous.

@Chelswynn7 11 лет назад

Thank you for posting this video!

@TheAFwifey 11 лет назад

THANK YOU for speaking out and sharing this !! Were there any steps that helped this issue that you can share? Was it you both opening up , was it needing to talk to a counselor, was it a book God used? Thank you dear one !

@robinburke9932 8 лет назад

I needed to hear this! I am newly married and my husband is gone more than he is home being a military pilot. I feel so distant from him, even when he is home. It's hard to reconnect and catch up in the few days he's home before he leaves again. I have a fear of initiating intimacy due to a lot of baggage I hold onto still from the past and being very insecure. He has been a very loving and patient husband, but I feel like even in the first few months of marriage we are losing our passion of intimacy. I struggle to communicate these issues with him. I begin to resent him even tho him being gone all the time is not his fault, and therefore I don't always have the desire to be intimate with him. I want to rekindle our intimacy but don't know where to start. There are definite underlying issues that need to be resolved to gain it back and I don't know where to start. I feel so inadequate for my husband. I have struggled with depression because of this.

@jaco7675 4 года назад

Robin Burke Just an observation: do you realize how many times you use the word “I”? Stop focusing on yourself and start focusing on him and how you can be, for him, what HE needs. Once you do, he’ll naturally reciprocate and you’ll both be drawn closer together.

@TheAFwifey 11 лет назад

This was very VERY brave of you !

@PapadeeOgunnubi 6 лет назад

Great work....Keep it up

@adannastlouis4783 6 лет назад

Did u see a doctor for this problem. If u feel pain everytime u have sex then maybe something is medically wrong.

@tommac21 Год назад

If you as a couple can't fix your marriage no one can. And porn does not ruin marriages. The couple does. You had problems way beyond most couples.

@36742650885 7 лет назад

Maybe you should see a doctor to understand why it's so painful for you when your a virgin it is always painful at first you have to just plow through it and it gets better maybe you have a struggle because you relate sex and sin and feel shame at the idea of enjoying it

@lkjslain7871 7 лет назад

There is no help for what is wrong with me. :(

@pgpeachess 9 лет назад

this was not for men, was it? i wanted to hear an honest point of view from a woman (they are getting headaches more often) and i just realized (it took me so long!?!) that only satan and his demons could be blamed for this major stronghold in today's society. he hates marriage and family life and works at it 24/7 with pornography, same sex relationships, verbal abuse (probably physical also but it did not happen in my family) and role reversal in marriage, to get back at God, through our pain. he has to be cast out and rebuked in the name of Jesus. thanks a lot for sharing and God bless!

@arch9508 7 лет назад

I have lot of reasons mainly being with intimacy anorexic partner

@bpcj4891 11 лет назад

Jennifer, I can see from the post below that Tyler assumes the problem was with you... and I am not sure if you have resolved the issue with the pain, but I just wanted to say that it is very common for sex to be painful for the woman when it involves a circumcised man. Maybe you can do some research on that end... God bless.

@traciewilkinson6003 4 года назад

Have you tried going to the doctor? Check with your obgyn.

@aaronthelevite7880 8 лет назад

@hottnessfarra 10 лет назад

Oh you lost your virginity in your twenties Im guessing thats along time your body has been in its natural comfortable shape. I went through the same thing sex was painful all the time for a very long time. I lost my virginity at 21 it was very bloody and painful. You are not alone..lol..