My Wife hired a Private Investigator to find me after she CHEATED and I Ghosted her - Reddit Podcast 

“I didn’t know how much I loved you until u left me” Sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... let’s use the OLDEST trick in the book, how disgusting!

Notice how there was always a catch to her apologies: “She’s sorry she cheated but it was because work politics, she got to caught up in the lifestyle, her coworker seduced her and she was gonna use him” and “I’m so sorry, I’ll make it up to you, I want to spend time with you because you left me and didn’t give me time for closure”. Everytime she apologized she either suggested it was someone/something else’s fault or that OP also did a bad thing. Typically manipulative behavior

I’m glad he didn’t take the bait. Narcissists are notorious for this kind of behavior! They will cheat, then beg and plead, love-bomb you and claim they’ve changed. They will play victim so hard that your heart breaks for them and you just feel awful for not taking them back. So you end up taking them back out of pity. That’s what they want. Men get called simps because of this. It’s not the man who is the simp, it’s the woman playing victim and the guy is just too kindhearted to tell her to fuck off.

Got emotional during the wife’s rant there bud, u good

"I need time with you that you didn't give me before" - To me that statement would hold as much water as a sieve. She cheated on him, took time they could have been together and spent it with another guy. It's impossible to spend time with someone you don't want to be around, and her sleeping with someone else is her not wanting to be around OP. She got caught and didn't want to face him until she could come up with some excuses to try to manipulate him into thinking it was his fault. When OP ghosted her she couldn't manipulate him. I'd bet my bottom dollar that she didn't even think about going back to OP until she lost her job and the guy she cheated with told her off. OP was just plan B, the safe place she thought she would be able to keep until he ghosted her. I'm so happy that OP didn't get back with her. Wish more people Males and females would act like OP. Edit: I've found the first post he was talking about that shed even more light. The OP had tried to spend time with his ex but she would just blow him off to go to the "work outings", he did say he spent quite a bit of time away on business trips but he had shortened the amount he had taken to 3-4 days every 5-6 weeks for quite a while. She could have spent plenty of time with him but decided to cheat instead, even when he tried to spend time with her she would blow him off.

What I find interesting in all of this is how the ex mentions all the ill things the affair had done to her, this strikes me as odd because in a way it makes you wonder that if things didn’t get sour for her at her job or with the man she was having an affair with if she would have continued and not looked for op.

Paul , I am glad that you're moving on . I'm glad you know the golden rule , never take back a cheater !!!

"And she stupidly thought she was using him as much as he was using her" - That right there is a major sign that she's willing to be manipulative, even sexually, to get what she wants. "I need time with you that you didn't give me before" - That statement there gives me a large red flag. Because I've had people use lines like that to try and guilt me into giving them time even when it would negatively influence my life and work - it's a... "Even though I'm wrong, you didn't do enough!" statement.

She can regret what she did all she wants. Once a cheater always a cheater. Move with your life you only get one And it's not to be spent with unfaithful people like that.

as an introvert, i'm quite surprised on how messed up society is i thought society was rather normal, in a way with like less than 5% being like this or other stuff in your videos but considering how many videos you have with *not normal* stuff going on, this makes me question humanity

It is so entertaining to hear you narrate stuff Instead of reading in a monotone voice, you actually tell it like a story Its great :D

I think the hardest thing about listening to this video is the fact that if I were in Paul's spot, I'd probably fall prey to what she said and give in.

If someone cheats on a partner once, they can do it again. Take it from someone with more experience than any one human should ever have.

To be honest, he did the right thing having dinner with her. It actually gave him the closure he needed to begin a better life for himself. Without that encounter, he would have remained a hermit, because of unresolved emotions towards his ex.

I think that cheating lady has a really bright future in acting. She should probably try to get a role in some Spanish soap opera.

To quote someone "cheating is not a single mistake; there are a practically a thousand moments that you can come to your senses and stop."

Love the way you change for the characters lol

I bet she’s using him as her own advantage, like work, as she no longer has a job.

Yea I’ve had relationships with women who had cheated, it happened then it was burned to the ground. I block everything, lose all numbers and associated friends and carry on with my life. It’s never bothered me as I present with sociopathic tendencies, there’s no loss of someone not being in my life anymore. Makes relationships very easy to get out of.

I knew from the instant nthe ex showed up that the mutual friend had sold him out. The fact that she didn't know where he lived and didn't find him sooner proved it. A private investigator would've been able to narrow his location down to the point where she would've been able to find him the first time she traveled to his new town, probably before OP had even seen his ex at that coffee shop.

That happened to a friend of mine... Wife cheated and he tried to climb into a bottle but I dragged him out. Having been there myself at one point for different reasons... Anyway he had a massive "Glow up" lost weight, gained muscle and even landed a new Gig. She tried to come back and he shut her down. Don't let folks like that into your head, they're toxic and will try to ruin you.

I’ve been cheated on far too many times to even consider taking that woman back.

" I need time with you that you didn't give me before " GHURL YOU DARE SAY AFTER YOU JUST CHEATED ON HIM AND BROKE HIS HEART??? WTF

Paul is hilarious guy. i know because how he explain his story make me laugh and interested at sametime LMAO

“A snake will shed it’s skin to become a bigger snake” - Some quote I found on Instagram, don’t know who said it. Love is love, if someone cheats on you, then they don’t truly love you and is doubting to love you. Don’t even get back with that person, because they will always have that thought again in the future and will eventually cheat on you again. Love is love, doubt is doubt. They can never coexist with each other. Cheating is a choice, being loyal is not a choice, it’s a responsibility.

The first story, cheating and having an affair is a complete deal breaker and practically unforgivable in my book.

There's really no excuse for cheating, he should have given her more hope before knocking her down.

Everybody: hearing the story Me: watching insane parkour skills in the background

I'll be blunt. OP should stay as far away from his Ex as possible. There's a nearly 100% chance that she is lying and is only trying to get back together to satiate her own ego. She is a textbook narcissist. Take note of how even when she was "apologizing", she always had an excuse for all of her faults, and never actually accepted that *she* was the one to blame for anything, it was always someone or something else's fault. That in and of itself is a huge red flag. Cut her off, and do not interact with her anymore. If she refuses to leave you alone, call the police and have her arrested for stalking and harassment, and if you deem it necessary, request a restraining order. She doesn't really care about OP, only her own ego and the feeling of control she has over OP whenever he gives in to her requests/demands. She is an extremely toxic and unhealthy influence, and involving yourself with her again will only make matters worse and could lead to a repeat of you having to move just to get away from her again. If she contacts OP again, he should make it clear in no uncertain terms that she is not welcome in his life anymore, and if she continues to stalk and harass him, he will get the police and courts involved as necessary to make sure she stays away from him. OP's Ex doesn't truly love OP, she just sees him as a victim that she can control and manipulate, and with him leaving her, she has lost that feeling of control over him and she wants it back desperately. Stay away from her, and *do not* give in to her requests, no matter how much she tries to guilt-trip you or otherwise, it's all little more than her trying to manipulate and control you. It's likely that if OP completely cuts her off, she may then try to resort to trying to turn OP's friends and relatives against him and make them take her side, so OP should tell his friends and family to not trust a word that comes out of her mouth, as she is just manipulating them, because she wants to put OP into an increasingly unpleasant position so that he feels like he has "no choice" but to take her back.

people who cheat on their partner should never be given a second change or even respect treat them like they are subhuman

Eww that's disgusting trying to track someone down after cheating on them

I give dollars to donuts her new job is close to where the guy she cheated with was relocated by her former employer.....

"Is this normal?" The feeling? definitely. The bolting to another part of the country spontaneously without a trace in less time than it takes to fart? not so much.

I'm a pisces, and some of pisces traits are: love, forgiveness, and the ability to sense peoples feelings.

Ill keep saying this... In any moment you suspect a former cheating spouse hires a PI to reconnect and you do not want to, you need a lawyer and an emergency no contact order. Once the PI sees that he has no choice but to drop the client.

I absolutely do not support cheating. Thankfully, I don’t know anyone who has experienced it. But, there is a psychological factor. What she did was wrong, and there is no excuse, but I know what she means when she says she hated herself. I know many people who have experienced this. After doing something they regret, or even during it, they have described hating themselves. They described it as feeling horrible about what they’ve done, and wanting to stop, but not being able to. That might be a problem with her. She still never should have done it and it is inexcusable, but I see the psychological picture.

I feel it’s easier to come back from a simple relationship if someone cheated. But marriage is another thing. The vows you exchange and the promise you make to each other is the reason that marital affairs are a different kind of betrayal. It’s like your family betraying you. You can forgive them but you will never forget.

No grace for cheaters

When someone claims to love you, yet can be seduced by another, they only love you in words , but are not "in love" with you. A person will never be your soul mate once they've cheated on you....guaranteed. Good on you to leave her and move on.

damn the first story was the definition of the song Let Her Go

For story 1- forgive but never forget

I love listening to this channel. Great delivery and commentary at the end. However these videos are literally giving me anxiety attacks and I can't stand it 😭

The thing is with cheaters, they never see how much they hurt you, I forgave mine, but we have almost 16 years together. I did tell him that if it happens again I am done, and he will never see me again.

Damn, it's so sad seeing how people banalizes the phrase "I love you" to the point where you hear it and don't really know if it's true or not. It seems that Americans do that more than other countries but still sad nonetheless.

There is no feeling worse for someone than being cheated on, pray you never have to go through being cheated on, choose who you be with wisely and make sure they do actually love you.

If I break up without telling them or on bad terms, if they find me, just a straight up No to everything they say They ask if I want to get back together: No They love me: Then you wouldn't have cheated They want to go out to eat: No Why am I rejecting "The love" of my life so coldly: Because I have no more love for you

It feels like a movie dialogue

If you spouse can cheat once , doesn't mean she/ he will never cheat again, so for me you need to dodge if he/ she want to become together again

Never ever ever ever ever take someone back who cheated on you, regardless of feelings. You just give them leverage to manipulate you if you give in to your feelings.

there is a reason the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" is literally everywhere.

You can't trust her. Once broken its gone.

All I could hear in my head with the P.I. story was this: (SIREN) STALKER ALERT!! STALKER ALERT!! STALKER ALERT!!

That fact that this guy is asking this makes me go brain dead a little.

It is hard, if not impossible, to trust a cheater again, but she obviously really loves him. They might have had a good new future together.

A similar thing happened to me. My ex just didn’t understand why I didn’t want to talk to her anymore.

i got lost in the gameplay lol

Somehow i get the feeling that all she said is true but what if it wasn't and you still restart and she does the exact same that's why breaking it off is always the best choice ,trust is key to a relationship

You shouldn't have even spent the time at the shop let alone go to dinner with her. People like this don't deserve 2nd chances or even a second of your time. They aren't sorry about what they did they are sorry because they got caught and now their meal ticket and their life is going to be over.

He never gave her the closure she wanted. She tracked him down to get that closure. He allowed her to unburden her guilt on to him and get her closer, let her shoot her shot. Now she can move on knowing that even though she screwed up she is unburden of guilt by trying to fix what she did. And now the burden is on him for turning her down. She couldn’t leave him be and had to open his emotional wounds to heal hers. Selfish behavior and he allowed it.

Had an ex who reached out to me a couple of years later to apologize, and one of the FIRST things I said is "I'm fine with being friendly with you, but we will NEVER get back together."

RUN PAUL!! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!

Props to this dude for such good voice acting and narration.

It was kinda funny how the narrator was saying what the wife said as if he was rehearsing for a play with his friend at school

Sounds like its time to move 2000 miles away, change your phone number again, think about changing your name and to change all contact information.

good for that guy tbh

If there's no trust, there's no love. Please don't lie to yourself. Things will always falls apart when there's no trust.

I have a relative who’s still with her spouse despite him cheating on her. My guess is she dealt with it; made her decision; and rationalized everything herself before sharing the news with the family because we were all very vocal about our hope for that relationship to end but she wouldn’t budge. It’s been years since we found out. Both of them still communicate semi-regularly with everyone. Everyone’s being very cordial during these interactions and I haven’t heard anyone ever bringing it up again. I’m not going to speak for anyone else but me, personally? It’s still the most prominent thought in my mind any time either of them come up. I know it’s ultimately her life to live and as a family, we don’t want to overstep our bounds and destroy our relationship by pushing too hard. The best we can do is make ourselves clear and respect her decision. I just never thought that respecting someone’s decision could be a continuous thing.

I thought that my girlfriend of 7 years cheating on me was a dealbreaker. But i realised i knew all along that she was the cheating type and i (sadly) accepted it. And i also realised that i could try forgive (like the wife said, with conseling and lot of talking). And she is the one to say no, because she saw how much it destroyed me the first time and know she will do it again, because, for her, it is easier to cheat than face her couple problem. (And yes, in the context she said it, i believe she told the truth). So here i am, in love with my ex, that love me back, but no futur because she do not trust herself over her faithfullness (with reason). It is just sad

is a broken porcelain the same after it broke and reapaired? exactly. glad OP did not have another relationship with his ex

Once a cheater, always a cheater, they say. But that's your choice

Basic human nature..... She will do it again if you allow her to get away with it.

In relation to the first story I have my own experience. So I was engaged to a girl I was head over heals for. However 4 months into that she broke up with me for someone who reminded her of my best friend. Want to clarify it wasn't my best friend. After not talking to her for over a year she messaged me one night basically saying all of the same things that was said in the story. I told her I wasn't going back and there was nothing to persuade me to come back. I forgave her a long time ago but she broke my heart and turned it to stone. I'm single now and living the best life I can. Though it does hurt being alone.

9:54 "She said: You fell for it you fool! Thunder Cross Split Attack!!!"

yeah op in the first story is stupid

"Get rid of that old baggage-" I hope he was referring to his ex cause I can't stop laughing!

Nomonono budy, you didn't broke her heart, she was devastated because she was suddenly alone. She's narcissistic, she doesn't care about you but about herself

I liked the story. But I couldn't fully forgive someone who cheats on me. I would see them as possible friend but nothing more.

damn cuh this is truly a sad story but good for you for not breaking though, that must have taken your entire being. glad you could be civil too.

He should have gotten in the truck and book it before she got close

Bruh if I was this guy I would of just turned my back and walked away when she tried to talk to him

When your watching this and thinking, “How come I can’t get any girls begging to be my girlfriend?”

She cheated in the end and he caught her and she didn’t even consider his feelings and just thought she could go back with no consequences

Listening to this guy talk and do impersonations is hilarious.

"She may cheat on them too", oh she will definitely do that, cause it clear from her actions and words that she has learned next to nothing from this whole ordeal... I feel sorry for the fool that ends up with her next.

If I was in that situation, I would probably get back together with her slowly, so she would not suspect that I would just leave after she gets a new marriage proposal from me. The best revenge is when hope turns into despair. I would take my sweet time making sure that revenge is ripe.

ngl I was just looking at the game play the whole time had to rewatch the vid to know what was actually going on

Cant trust a cheater. My first ex fiance slept with my friends, their sisters..and their fathers, possibly my own father as well. Even drove one friend to suicide.

Run far and run fast! Stay away from her for your own good.x

" You're the only one I want! " Right now...

4th and this was good

If I were the OP, I probably would've forgiven her already. respect to the OP \o/

When i heard him go "i had a big beard and let my hair hang to my shoulders" all i could see was a big guy in a black tank top blue jeans brown work boots and black sun glasses and built like a guy who hits the gym almost 3 times a week Idk why i saw that image in my head

I have something to say about this story: No no DON'T FEEL guilty about this. SHE destroyed y'all's marriage not you, hell don't even consider her a friend. I say this because my 10th grade Girlfriend did this to me so I can see where the OP is coming from.

I didn't like this story. I hate stories where the cheated-on person is kind to their cheating ex. "My ex-wife stalked me, ran up to me, and made excuses. I hugged her and told her we could be friends one day." Fuck that. I'm glad OP didn't reconcile with her, but I genuinely wish he was only cold to her. I'd have preferred if, when she ran across the street to greet him, he shouted "Get the fuck away from me!", went home, and filed for a restraining order.

Story 1: She was only sorry she got caught, Never Forgive. Never Forget.

Is it technically cheating if A is having affairs with B and C but all the people involved know that its happening and are all ok with it

She didn't feel sorry at all. She was cornered by all the crap she took after that. She was literally striped out from her old job and had to took a new one as OP said in the final update. She wasn't sorry, she see OP got better, better position, better look, better everything, and try to sneak her way into that.

I was in this position and it made me reject 3 people that I liked the most. It's not the girls were cheating bitches but it was bc I couldn't simply trust them.

The the we said Paul the first time made me sub

Damn bro, she pulled out every single stop to attempt to manipulate him