@The Ramsey Show - Highlights Do you plan to ever hold women accountable on this show, or just blame men? Please read though the comments here, most are long time listeners (myself included) who are very frustrated at the double standards and the way the caller was treated.
Can you imagine if the genders were reversed in this scenario? A financially responsible wife calls in to get help because she took money out of her retirement to offset her husband blowing through money. Think they would have blamed her for communication issues? I don't.
I feel like men let woman off the hook more than women. I am the one that works because my husband is disabled. He manages the budget because he wants to and I really don't want to. If he tells me something is not in the budget, I respect that he knows what we can afford. sometimes he is a little too cheap (I like to travel and he does not) and I will have a conversation for what I want and we both figure out a way for me be able to afford it.
I really share your sentiment. If this had been a woman talking about an overspending man, I think that their tone and response would have been very different (something like he's acting like a spoiled boy and needs to grow up)
Nope lol it’s comical cause had this been the other way around someone would have said this guy needs to grow up. But cause it’s a women we have to be empathetic
Husband spends money frivolously = He is irresponsible Wife spends money frivolously = Husband is weak for not being on the same page as wife Husband manages finances = Society says he is being controlling and financially abusive Any questions?
No. She needs help, and the spending is a symptom of the problem. She needs to fix it, but he’s married to her, so he needs to work with her to fix it.
with a monotone voice like his, it's not a surprise she's overspending and not taking him seriously. I couldn't imagine him putting his foot down and have his voice be heard.
Save the url of this video so you can post it in the comments of the video where a wife calls saying the husband is spending too much money so everyone can see for themselves that women and men are NOT held to the same standard.
Its crazy how this show treats women like weak toddlers. they never want to hold the woman accountable. It's always the mans fault/problem. Very insulting to women and not sure how not many people are angry about this
I feel bad for him, you can hear the defeat in his voice. Bottom line if someone is putting you back in debt they have some serious issues. Cancel the cards in the meantime. I'm a woman and I couldn't cope with that behavior. I'm not a super saver and I like to have fun but c'mon man! Putting your family in the poor house is terrible!
You can't reason with an addict, she needs to want to change her toxic spending behaviors and all you can do it support her and the tough love of not enabling.
Disgusting. This show wants women to have all the control, zero of the accountability. Men need to quit taking advice from these happy wife happy life losers.
They dont teach it is ”his” money or ”her” money. They teach it is their money. She obviously has issues and they both need to work on it and their marriage. It is a partnership.
We don't know the full story however I agree with you about why should he take the blame, being a godly wife is respecting your husband and spending money as fast as he can make it is disrespectful , and I don't mean women need to bow down and take abuse. She needs to grow up and take responsibility for her actions
Well if this was a roles reversed call, I wonder if they would say "you need to have a lot of patience and empathy for why he is doing this and really help him with the reasons he is spending"
I had to beg my wife every month for “her money” to help with our bills. “You make more than me so you should pay more” She cheated on me and I left her. I have plenty of money now
So we’re spending money on a therapist for her and then we spending more money on just frivolous things and then we’re spending more money on 401k early withdrawal expenses. I know she’s got some stuff going on but I’m good on this one I couldn’t be this guy cause I’m getting out that situation if I’m him
So rather than blaming the obvious offender they want the husband to be better and criticizes him when he is not the problem. Why not hold the person who is actually the problem accountable rather than blaming the victim for not doing enough ?
My brother in law made the mistake of having a kid with a woman like that. Now he pays thousands of dollars in child support to fund her lavish lifestyle. And he only gets to see his kid every other weekend.
@Dog Mutt That would be unenforceable as against public policy. Parents are legally responsible for supporting minor children, in the lifestyle their income affords.
As a woman who has depression and a shopping addiction, I cannot sympathize with her. Stop spending money, and spend that time improving yourself, your finances, and loving your baby. I want to blow my savings on clothes and makeup too, but I DON'T.
Postpartum is real, that’s correct. However, that does not mean that you no longer have the self control to decide how you spend your money. It’s called self-discipline and setting priorities. What if this woman was a single mom and could not rely on her husband to help? Do you really think she would continue to spend to the point where she would loose gern home, car etc? If her postpartum is that really that bad she should check herself into an institution until she is in a better place.
@john Smith post partum does not give the right to destroy one’s family. You are justifying torture and making big judgements for someone who isn’t paying the bills of this person.
Zero tolerance. Dump the problem. A good wife brings peace to your life. A bad wife is shown the door. Aren’t modern women supposed to be empowered and independent? What weak advice to dump all the fix onto the back of the husband who is the victim. He deserves better.
I was a spender but also saved enough until this year 2022 I decided to control myself and I have been successful. I pay all the bills and I’m the one who puts money in different accounts. I regret how much money I spend on unnecessary things. It makes me mad that I was addicted to shopping. I look at the things I have over 100 perfumes over 100 handbags two closets full of clothes and many other things. I now don’t buy anything for myself. My goal now is to pay off mortgage and save for retirement and savings. My husband now is spending more money on fixing and upgrading the house. I’m now in control of our finances and I tell my husband where the money is going cause before I would not. We are now on the same page. It feels good
He's telling him that "HE'S not doing a good job at getting on the same page?!?" Just wow.. SHE'S the one not on the same page and is the one with the problem. This channel always blame the man no matter the scenario!! Unbelievable!
Why did Dr Delaney say “don’t do something dumb” and “don’t blame her” when referring to pulling out of his 401K early to pay off debt SHE created?! She’s an adult with a conscience, well aware of what she’s doing. That wasn’t fair to the caller. Poor guy is just doing whatever he can to keep his family outta debt. Like many others have mentioned, if the gender roles were reversed here, the hosts wouldn’t have given any sympathy to the husband if he was the spender.
Saying she is overspending because of " hurt and pain" is utter nonsense. People spend money because they want to, it gives them pleasure, and they have no consequences. Blaming HIM for her spending is unfair and ridiculous. How is that going to stop her from doing it? It's giving her the perfect excuse! I think he should start moving money immediately. He should pay the bills, not her. Put a hundred dollars a paycheck into a hidden strongbox. Talk to a divorce lawyer. Tell her you cannot live like this. If she doesn't listen, serve her with divorce papers. But first plan the exit strategy with the lawyer to protect assets as much as possible.
Great advice guys!!! You need to take the blame for her lack of self control and trying your best to get rid of her debt and have grace for when she continues sinking the ship and putting us in the position where we had to take out a loan against your retirement and stop hating on the overpriced makeup she put you in debt to buy she just want to be happy! I mean what a joke if that was a guy I can already here the Dave calling him a manchild and irresponsible and a dead beat for not putting his family over his petty emotions
The spender never understands the stress and disrespect of spending hard earned money carelessly. 😔 married couples need to be on the same page. Manage, budget and build wealth. 😊
He truly is. His infatuation with satisfying Dave is weird. Neither him no Dave have a spine. Both in a battle to see who can simp hardest for women callers.
@@chartuck And he gets paid really well for doing it without having to actually work for a living or even deliver pizzas. I cannot imagine what motivates him.
Yeah that relationship is probably over. I agree with everyone else, and it’s kind of interesting that every sees it the same, I guess we’ve all been there
i've been there and no counseling will fix this train wreck of a relationship. Both are passive aggressive towards each other and i can sense the deep hatred. Time for them to pack their bags and separate.
Him going to her and saying "I'm sorry, this is my fault" only sends the message to her that she doesn't need to change, and so she won't. She needs to be confronted and wake up to the fact that what SHE is doing is wrong. He is not responsible for her depression or the fact she has chosen to self-medicate by spending all their money on retail therapy. Yes, he should be open to listening to what she needs and how he can help her, but funding her habit is not helping her. You need the addict to admit they have a problem.
I've read most of the high rated comments. It's clear the consensus is that the hosts need to hold women accountable. Stop excusing them, it's wrong and it's losing you viewers. Just because it's popular to always blame men doesn't mean it's correct.
4.5 years get divorced! Before you pass the alimony point. Pay off cards in your name with your retirement, (she will get your 401ks so spend them) if you own a home sell it and file.
Since we become 100 percent debt free I see such a change in my husband. He just seems like the weight of the world is off his shoulders. I notice him taking better of our home and doing more around the house. Probably because it now is really our home and not the banks.
Excuse excuse excuse, cancel the cards ,separate the financial and if she can’t get on the house hold budget then cut ya losses and that includes her as well unfortunately. Coddling her B.S. is only going to prolong and increase the hole she is digging.
I watch my neighbor work himself to death only to have his wife spend it. There are delivery trucks driving through there drive all day. I feel bad for the guy.
My wife and I have our own bank accounts. We both have careers and save/invest. We split the monthly bills and spend on things we see fit . This works great for both of us. She can buy whatever she wants and I can spend money on whatever I want.
You don't mention anything about saving, only each other spending on whatever they want. Enjoy eating dogfood in your retirement. If he saves and she spends, or vice versa, the saver pays for everything down the road.
I love how nearly everyone in the comments thinks this is horseshit. Women are incapable of taking accountability and it’s sickening. It’s even more sickening the way they handled this call. My GOD
I would imagine her spending is causing all kinds of issues in the relationship for him. Cut her off. Life is short, if your wife loved you she wouldn't want to see you work yourself to death.
This was really bad advice, beyond “not useful” to the point of being hurtful. The male counselor appears completely unaware of the wounded and very discouraged condition of this young man. You can hear it in the tone of his voice and in the words he is sharing. And then the male counselor instead helping him heal, adds to the wounds by attempting to use shame as a counseling tool, by saying don’t do something “stupid”. I cringed. Lord have mercy on us all. Dave still gives good advice, but this is not the first time I have seen this issue of bashing men. There appears to be a “man bashing” mindset held by many within this organizational that needs to be treated just like you would treat an infection. Get rid of it!
You can’t make someone do something they really don’t want to. If his wife doesn’t see the vision of long term wealth building (which includes delaying gratification), he’s not going to change her behavior. She has to want to change for the sake of their long term financial health. If she’s comfortable with getting instant gratification, even at the expense of their finances, she has no incentive to change.
@@luminous6969 they don't. My guess is he loved lavishing her with gift pre-marriage, and now he is surprised she spends money. He thought the gifts could stop after marriage.
Ramsey will never understand the practicality, morality and fairness of keeping three separate accounts, his hers and theirs. Just became you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them, doesn't mean they have the same goals. They don't have to have the same financial goals anymore than health and fitness goals. I believe in individualism not in comuni...anything
i'm sure there is even more about this relationship that didn't make it into the conversation. You can sense the deep hatred he has for his wife. She probably cheated on him.
I know!!! I feel bad that I am so annoyed when he is on, to the extent that I skip everytime he's on air, but he is always on air, that I move some other podcast.
This show is going to die with Rachel ignoring/encouraging terrible behaviour as long as it's a woman, and punishing men for the same thing. You need to divorce a woman like that.
Hello yes she can ignore spending. She does not care about debt. She prefers payments he is a saver. People over shop or spend because they are bored not just in pain.
Help her, but take her cards away and put her on a budget. If she wants to spend, she can use her own money right after she contributes to her family livelihood
Assets and debts are usually split during divorce. If one spouse spends like a drunken sailor then you're still in trouble. BTW, no disrespect to any drunken sailors out there.
@@keithsurdyke2535 Yes, but if there is no divorce, and if you have separate accounts, then there will come a point where the spending spouse will run out of money and run out of the ability to borrow. This effectively limits the problem.
If you had called in you'd be told that you married an irresponsible man child instead of this bs advice on the need to understand and support his spending addiction.
