The problem is, many people are good at hiding their true selves, even against their own family. These people just need some push to reveal their true nature.
Look at how quickly the wife just came out of the gate with those accusations before anything could even happen. Her entire plan was to gaslight an emotionally manipulate this man from the jump.
He lost her to the cu*ts that she works with. It was they who were encouraging her to do this. Not a single one of them was happy in their own relationship and they didn't think twice about convincing her to destroy hers.
I can only image how tough it must have been for OP as well when his wife got diagnosed and treatment. Yet she chose to be selfish. How’s cheating on your partner of 20 years equals to “living life to the fullest”?
"Living life to the fullest" is often code for doing whatever you want and pretending that there are no consequences. Just like the wife here was surprised that her actions had consequences.
She could have done some crazy stuff with her husband, lived life to the fullest with her husband, fallen more deeply in love with her husband after getting a new outlook on life. Nah, she decided to cheat. Tells you what kind of person she was/became.
There is never a "one time pass" - it is just a first time pass. Her level of disrespect toward you was amazing. It is incredible that the object of her infidelity was a fat, bald loser. Good on you for moving along with your life.
If this comment is seen by a single person, and makes the slightest difference in a single relationship, it will be worth saying this. People, when you cheat, offering your partner to cheat back, or offering them a 3-some, it isn't a quick fix, at least from my point of view. having been in this position, I didn't want to sleep with anyone else, or have a 3-some. I wanted something that my then wife was no longer able to give me no matter how hard she tried, her unwavering loyalty, as I had given to her. I was put in a position like this, told what was going to happen beforehand, and told I had no choice, but I did have a choice, to leave, and I did. If you crave someone else, then break up, or divorce, and THEN go do it, otherwise you're just a useless gardening tool, male or female, goes both ways. If you want someone else, that's fine, heart wants what the heart wants, but do it the right way.
Spoiler alert; her comments reveal that she is in fact *not* the most intelligent, thoughtful, caring and loyal person you know. If you still believe that, then you should stay with her because you deserve each other.
So she is probably already in an emotional affair, wants permission to cheat and tries to gaslight/shame language him along with a not so subtle hint that he will pay a price if he doesn’t lay down and accept it. Yeah, she sounds like a real gem. The whole toxic masculinity/insecure thing would have done it for me. Yeah, don’t worry about that I can 100% guarantee you will not be exposed to that ever again.
The way she cheated & her excuses & then refusal to accept the reality of an impending divorce afterwards shows a level of contempt for her husband that is quite extraordinary - he should never speak to her again…
The fact this guy even has to ask is why I hate Reddit. Strong men don't even question themselves, they dump their girl the moment the words "insecure," "toxic masculinity," or "fragile male ego" come out of their mouth. And Reddit is 100% on board with people using those terms. Back to SSM.
So let me get this straight: She wants something that will hurt him with a complete disregard for his feelings AND tells him he is insecure and toxic if he doesn't want to get hurt? Wild.
I am a 2 time cancer survivor. Been with the same person since high school and have been married for 14 years. This is just nuts. It's an excuse she is using. I have a feeling she has been hanging out with the wrong people, and she has changed her viewpoint and expects him to as well. I could never ask my wife for a hall pass after she stuck by me through everything and sacrificed herself.
All spot on, i bet her friends suggested her to go with that approach with him, to gaslight him in having no choice but to accept her affair, good for him to realize he had a choice afterall
How was there even a moment where he needed time to think about whether or not you wanted to stay with his wife? There's not even a reasonable justification to try to put yourself in her shoes after making a request like that. If my wife or I were to ask the other if we could have a hall pass for any possible reason while one is still breathing and married to the other, we might as well rephrase that question with the words I want to divorce so I could sleep with other people. Because there's no possible way in hell either of us would see that as an option in our marriage and anyone who does, is either already cheating or planning on cheating whether you give them permission or not. The level of manipulation and gas lighting shown by this woman was clearly a direct result of being influenced by her friends and social media, which should have made it that much more simpler for him to remove her from his life. Women who take advice from their harpy friends instead of trusted and married family members, have a higher propensity to sabotage their marriage.
divorce immediately. she's a cheater and probably never was wife material. You married an illusion, however painful it is. save you from future misery and save this 304 from a "toxic unsecure" uhusband
dude, none of those words describe her. if she were any of those things, she wouldn't be making demands to sleep with other guys while basically telling you to get over it
Wow, this woman is awful. He didn't want her to cheat so she decided to just do it and "take the decision out of his hands" wtaf, leave her dude. Christ
I'm sorry but if my daughter ever told me to get back with a cheater I'll just ask her one question. "Will you change your last name or should i change mine?" Cuz that's not my daughter anymore
actually this are 2 questions... jokes aside, i think its clear that it wasnt a rational request of the daughter, but instead only bc noone wants mum and dad to divorce, especially in the very moment you get the news
I remember this story. This story was out for a couple of years. OP's wife is truly a POS. She cheated on her husband who did nothing but the absolute best for her. Stood by her with the cancer and took her out for trips around the world. He could have just abandoned her and left her to fend for herself. But he didn't and what did she do to repay him? She tells him that she's going to have sex with some asshole that has been courting her for a while which she known because she says that she deserves it and it was going to happen regardless whatever he like it or not. She's no wife at all but a absolute despicable 403. OP really should have done more like tell her that if she does it, he divorces her. Especially he should have gotten out of the car to confront that asshole and lay down the law. If he had done anything of that, he would still be married or have a lot more self respect for himself. The wife's friends are complete trash too especially the best friend. I'm willing to bet that she's the one who told the wife to sleep with that asshole and cause this situation. The daughter really should just cut off her mom and completely support OP as he deserves it and he needs someone at his side. People, appreciate the people who stood by you through hard times. Don't ever pay back good with evil.
Yeah nah, for like one brief shining second after birth control pills but before social media, marriage was about love, in one small sliver of demographic, for one small sliver of western cultures. For all other times, locations, and years, it's been transactional.
If you are ever sad that you are unwanted, unloved and single, imagine that you have long term relationship with "love of your life" and then you get backstabbed just because your partner is "bored". Only imagining it feels like living hell.
The way I see it? She can go back to the other guy if he's good enough to screw while she's married. Being married means you stick with the person unless there are circumstances that change things. But the funny thing is if you wanna get with other people? Break it off first. That way it's not cheating and you truly show how much you care about the other person by respecting them and not expecting them to be some safety net. Cancer or not, ask her this. Would she be ok if you used the same excuse while she was still dealing with cancer? Saying how your needs need to be met and she can't meet them? Would she have been perfectly fine back then? If no? Double standards, plain and simple.
THEY don't need counseling. SHE does. When asked why she cheated so easily, her response was "because I could". That answer was a huge red fu#king flag...
She does not sound at all like the OP described in the opening of the video. She sounds like a terrible person to attempt a relationship with, I would advise not doing so.
Please pay attention how and army of women. Even HIS daughter made excuses for a cheater. And like OP said, "i doubt i would have been given those same considerations if was the one on her shoes"
The furthest distance between any two numbers, is 0 and 1. If he would have been fine with it, such a thing will happen again, and again. That said, a lot of the things he'd put kind of convince me as to why she thought thia would go over in her favor.
Just simply say " hallpasses do not exist in any relationship I am in" I would not need advice on the issue. If she goes anyway the marriage is over. This guy is a wimp. I detest such guys.
gas lighting.... OP put her up on a pedestal and now she thinks she deserves to be there, regardless of her actions. She's just using OP. It's already over. Move on
when will people understand that when your partner asks you to swing, open relationship, hall pass, you already know the answer no one should want to do any of these things in a real marriage. you had your answer when she told you about this stupidty
The moment my husband asked for a hall pass is the moment our marriage would be over. I would leave him in the middle of cancer treatment or survived a bear attack, i don't give a single fuck. The way he was asking to many questions and begging her to not cheat on him a because she had cancer 🤡🤡🤡🤡
