Narcissist’s 8 Life Failures (Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development) 

When you are the child of narcissistic parents you also repeat these patterns. I am almost 50 and stuck in isolation and stagnation. I have no idea how to get out of this as my sense of self is underdeveloped. (Having a self is a threat to the parent). Part of me feels like a helpless toddler left alone in the woods, which makes adult life incredibly challenging.

My mom a narcissist told me she liked me until I was 5, when Individuated I suppose. She didn’t want me to be me, whom she resented.

Dr. Vaknin, this video was absolutely amazing. Thank you for your consistent contribution to the field of Psychology and all of us Cluster-B’s. I was wondering if you might be able to make a video just like this but for Borderlines? Like instead of talking about how the Narcissist fails all 8 stages, could you talk about how the Borderline goes through and fails all 5, ultimately getting stuck as you referenced in this video? As a borderline myself, it would be extremely helpful and enlightening. Thanks.

Sam. You never fail to inspire admiration. You are one of the wisest of out times, and have provided vast value to your audience. Its not flattery. Its just fact. Your work should be incorporated into basic schooling programs. Ironically this could onnly ever be "ideally" of course, since disordered Narcissists would be mostly unable to perceive, let alone process, the concepts. And healthy kids trapped in narcissistic family structures would be punished and gaslit by their social network members for voicing any understanding. I wonder, would it ever be possible to develop an effective policy framework to reduce narcissism at a population level? My gut says no, but if anyone had hope of posing possibilities it would be Sam.

Thank you! Such a wonderful, succinct explanation. It is very sad; the untapped potential.

Very informative and helpful. Thank you.

Along with the Narc, the abused also stagnates and despairs???

53:50.... Stagnation..... So true.... Same routine days n months and years and calling it discipline and looking down at the creative person saying she is indisciplined.....

Nearing the age of 70, this application of Erickson’s 8 stages to narcissism helps to attend to the needs of inner parts.

Narcs 8 life failures .. you always have the most interesting topics Sam. Happy holidays to you. Since my ego has virtually dissolved and I no longer attach to my thoughts, your video and opinions of Erikson's idea break down in layman's terms how these beings were created and how they operate in our beautiful world.

Clarification, which we are all seeking, gets better and better. 🙏

They set up all around them to ultimately fail.

Dr Sam absolutely applaud you...😊 Always helping me define myself

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 07:37 *🧠 Ego, as per psychoanalytic theory, mediates between desires and reality, preventing harm and ensuring functional behavior.* 04:52 *🎓 Erik Erikson, a prominent psychologist, outlined eight stages of psychosocial development, focusing on ego identity formation.* 11:25 *🚼 Infancy (birth to 18 months) establishes basic trust or mistrust based on caregiver interactions, shaping self-esteem.* 15:36 *🧒 Toddlerhood (18 months to 3 years) fosters autonomy or shame/doubt, impacting self-reliance and confidence.* 20:31 *🏃‍♂️ Initiative versus guilt (ages 3-5) involves planning and goal pursuit, influenced by parental support or criticism.* 24:01 *🛠️ Industry versus inferiority (ages 6-11) shapes productivity and self-acceptance, influenced by early experiences.* 26:43 *👥 Identity versus confusion (adolescence) involves forming a sense of self through interactions with reality.* 28:57 *🔄 Selfhood, formed through exposure to reality, is crucial for the emergence of a fully functional self, which occurs during Erikson's fifth stage of psychosocial development.* 33:12 *🧠 Positive identity formation involves experimentation, leading to social integration and contribution to society.* 35:37 *🤔 Narcissists fail the first five stages of Erikson's psychosocial development, leading to confusion about their identity and social functioning.* 40:17 *🔄 Erikson's identity status model highlights four possible identity statuses during adolescence, characterized by exploration and commitment levels.* 46:16 *💔 Narcissists fail to achieve intimacy in stage six of Erikson's model due to their inability to trust and lack of self-identity.* 51:47 *💡 Generativity in middle adulthood involves creativity and nurturing, contrasting with stagnation characterized by self-absorption and fear of reality.* 57:14 *✨ In old age, individuals reflect on their lives, leading to either a sense of integrity or despair, depending on how they perceive their life's fulfillment.* Made with HARPA AI

I really really wish you would respond. Every word you say in every single video I’ve experienced, seen, and felt within my relationSHIT with an undiagnosed narcissist of 15 years. The only thing that he doesn’t do is discard and this is only because I leave before he gets the chance. I can’t seem to endure once the love bombing is over. It’s just so so bad. Why do I love this person? Why do I even fix my mouth to say narcs deserve love too? Knowing it’s just an excuse to stay. Like why am I so concerned? I absolutely hate the way I feel about him and wish I never met him. Currently, I’m beyond desperate to figure out how I can remain with the pain. How will I be able to extract my needs and wants? Toughest thing ever. I lost my job and can’t pay my bills, of course he hasn’t came close to offering any type of aid or assistance and guess what….all I can think about is him and how bad I’m feeling. The world around me is trying to crumble and still my main concern and source of pain is him. Guess it’s my turn to play the fool..again. How embarrassing.

This is one of the best lectures you have done -‘just love your brilliance ❤

I feel so inspired, blessed and hopeful after watching your video dear Dr. Vaknin. The explanation of these stages illuminate development and how one gets lost, gets stuck or just runs on empty. I feel now I know which stage I am at and can hopefully integrate ...diffusion is pretty confusing and strangely fun if you only one could remove all the emotional roller coasters. However you have made me see that the integration is like a beautiful foudation that one can maneuver better in this crazy world and still stay intact emotionally. Thank you for this key to a new doorway.

Thank you for this informative video. I was wondering if you believe it is possible to go through these stages of development later in life, in other words, to “catch up”. Either as an adult, but also for parents who do their own inner work and realize they haven’t been providing their children with the right environment/tools to properly develop. Thank you.

Thank you thank you thank you billions thank 🙏 for your help 🙏 ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Regards from Serbia 🇷🇸

Profound and well articulated talk on this. Love that you compared and integrated EE’s stages. Blessings to you sir.

Thus was a powerful lecture

First 01:05, "Knocks it out of the park." American English Speakers use this expression to describe the immediately efficient completion of a desirable feat that requires a synchronous command of emotional, intellectual and physical abilities.

Prof Sam all these stages and their negative versions ( mainly the first six ) necessarily lead to personality disorders?or they can lead to anxiety disorders neurosis or psychosis too?

Vakin

I come back again and again to this video, really helpful for me as a parent.