Narcissistic Abuse Inside Out: Charles Bowes-Taylor Interviews Compilation 

With leaving a real narcissist, there is real pain. Don’t forget they’re trying to give you their pain. It’s not yours. That’s the trick. You took on the heavy pain that’s not yours. Sorry but it’s time for me to go. Make that decision

It is so true… you can not exist as a self and have the attention or affection of a narcissist. I began to realize this slowly, as I found myself being blamed for everything he destroyed. The only way I could keep things from escalating further was to become numb, be silent, and overvalue his perceptions. I realize now that he has gone, I have lost my sense of self and have trouble functioning now in the real world. Living in the shadows of despair, self-doubt, and blame, the best parts of me died.

Sam's eye for patterns and detail will never grow old to me. I study mostly alone and i dont have access to lecturers of this caliber, so this unbelievably informative and reaffirming for me in my own observations. Great as always!

The most succinct, crucial, hard hitting, brutal simple truths. I broke no contact and went down a rabbit hole to hell. This talk rammed home the stark naked hopeless truth of the nature of the beast I’ve been dealing with, the deadly seriousness of it’s nature alongside the grace to forgive yet never ever go back, and to lay down the ghost of a phantom relationship in which I was the ultimate prey. Thank you both for instilling such necessary and life saving clarity. I’m also interested from a spiritual perspective as to why we may chose to experience these incredibly detrimental and extreme physiological dynamics, I hope on the other side it makes more sense. The one I had the horror of knowing had a few years in an SAS type training situation and was extremely volatile, dangerous, very intelligent and ruthlessly un-empathetic and cruel, basically a psychopath. I know I’m lucky to be alive and also to have kept my sanity and hopes intact, although it’s been hardcore and nearly smashed my soul to pieces.

As always, Sam gives the hard hitting brutality of the facts, and helps us to better understand what we have been victimized by, and have answers to the questions many of us have been plagued by for years. After being suddenly abandoned after 20 years of trying and hoping, I am finally starting to realize there was nothing more I could have done. I never failed him, but I sure did fail to protect myself. I feel sorry for his new supply. She hasn’t a clue what he has already done behind her back, and who and what he is truly capable of. None of what we believe we see is based in reality, and once you let them destroy you, they replace you with a cruelty I never could believe was possible.

Thank you, professor Sam, your insight is the best. You are helping a lot of people process their trauma.

Thank you so much Dear Professor Sam Vaknin ❤

Thank you for this video, as it has been most helpful to me! I have went through a lot of abuse from Narcissists, somehow I attract them. I had left my ex who was an extremely psychopathic grandiose narcissist and it took me years to overcome the abuse he gave me which was every form of abuse you can think of. Only to find myself with another one along with his parents. This video has helped me understand them more. I have to say that your videos are the best videos in learning more about Narcissism. When I learnt that my ex is a Narcissist that's when I was on the road to recovery (many years later) as I sought help and knowledge about it as I just had to understand and move forwards. Only to find myself in another chronic PTSD again with 3 more and I am living with them, until I get into my own house and when it is ready for me to move into it. I haven't considered my current husband to be a narcissist, though I wondered, but after watching this video, I am convinced that he is. A huge part of me just doesn't want to believe it... A Covert Narcissist, is what he seems to be. Living in a house with 3 Narcissists has been terrible on me! I have to literally leave the house from morning to evening to myself to gain my sanity and trying to have space away from my husband is tricky sometimes. They do not respect my space. I have to enforce boundaries and that can be so stressful at times when they don't respect my boundaries. I will be spending a few weeks with my best friend to have space. I have to say that I really admire your knowledge. Thank you for all of your videos.

As a southern African, thank you for this.

Thanks Sam for enlightening us with your knowledge! I've lived with your kind all my life! Father, sister and boyfriends. I guess I'm healing...but it's hard work!

🤯 thanks for the knowledge 🙌🏽

Only the person who created the concept, can explain the blueprint ideas. Vankin, you could do training to train therapist how to provide therapy for individuals.....and help survivors of abuse. Be sure to copyright it hun.

This is fascinating, thank you. I am educating myself on the topic. I'm trying to locate a copy of the table talked about at 2:14 if you're able to point me in the right direction.

Hi Sam Psychodynamically, are Narcissists and psychotics very similar with the only difference being the denial of being in psychosis and conviction that they are not psychotic?

At 46:36, you mentioned that if he cannot find a replacement, hoovering becomes the last resort. Despite a restraining order, if a narcissist consistently engages in hoovering over the past few years, does this imply a challenge in finding a replacement that meets the standard, even considering the belief that all partners are easily replaceable and not unique? Or does the answer relay in his failure to separate and individuate?

In what situations would a narcissist, who hasn't experienced mortification, consistently engage in hoovering one former partner over the years, while demonstrating less frequent hoovering with another former partner, where both partners contribute minimal narcissistic supply?

Since NPD as a system is homomorphic to a predator, could it be not merely a developmental malfunction but an evolutionary adaptation honed and improved for survival in certain environments? We tan to protect us from the sun, we enter an irreversible NPD state to protect from a cruel social environment?