Narcissists Are 100% Done With You Forever After They Do This | NPD | Narcissism | BehindTheScience 

If someone can fall asleep right after hurting you…. That’s the sign

In the beginning - It's like finding the most sincere kindest person in the whole wide world. They are nice and gentle. They are affectionate. They will cuddle you and hold you. A couple months in you will notice that they seem to lack in the intimacy department but you will dismiss that to shyness. They will mimic/mirror your style of communication & you the entire time (which goes unnoticed until they become distant with you & use new words). I learned that If you express intimate emotions they will say “I feel the same way for you too or I would do the same thing for you or I love you just as much or I'm glad to hear that.” Which feels insincere and robotic. However you might dismiss that to shyness or inexperience expressing feelings (even tho they could be gorgeous & clearly experienced with women). They will never voluntarily just express their love for you in their own words and say how much they love or miss you. Very rarely will you get an “I miss you" or ” love you" for no reason at all. You will wonder why? Like do they have any feelings? So, you find yourself working harder to make them feel more safe & more loved in hope's that they provide that love back to you. It's easy to dismiss them withholding as a lack of trust or insecurity because they seem so nice. You will look for logic in behaviors and with Coverts there is never any logic which will lead your further down a rabbit hole creating confusion. In time you will start to doubt your own perception of what you see and lack the clarity to see the abuse. You will have more anxiety, lack inner peace & feel tired. Your physical appearance might change where you either gain or lose weight. You struggle to keep yourself at peace. Its exhausting. By now, you have became an expert at everything they like. You take on all the chores and make their life as easy as possible. You feel isolated too b/c they kept you “away". You feel so confused b/c you worked so hard to break down their walls in hopes of a more consistent close bond with them. One day they seem really into you and the next they withhold affection. It's hard trying to figure out what is wrong. The more you vocalize your feelings the more they encourage you with their words that everything is ok. You certainly don't feel “ok" but you make peace with it the best you can and start “withholding” your feelings too b/c they have made you feel like your “too" sensitive and it's too much! Most of the time it will feel like they are present in the flesh but nothing else is going on inside them. Even after all this time you've been together you still feel like you don't really know them. If you happened to gain the courage at a later time to ask more questions as to why things still feel off they will say your being insecure & that they aren't cheating and make you feel like you have issues. If you cry they will watch tv, stare at their phone or even continue to eat dinner. They won't ever give you all their undivided attention & acknowledge your pain. Which makes you more confused bc their actions doesn't match their words. They won't look at you while you cry, they seem like it causes them shame to see you cry. At times you might feel like your having to teach them about feelings as if they were a child. You will wonder why their emotional intelligence seems very immature/off. Everything they have is something you also don't have access too. Their family, phone, friends, bank accounts, pay stubs, credit card statements, and etc. You will start off feeling like they are very private or insecure & years in it now feels like they are super secretive b/c it makes no sense for them to still be so private. They promise things that they don't see through or conveniently feel bad or forget everything that is important to you. They will isolate you and hide their relationship with you. When you express that something about what they are doing isn't right then they act like they lack understanding and that they do nothing to hurt you. You will always be explaining everything and wondering why they just don't get it! They will even use apologies as a form of manipulation. (lack of empathy and no change to their behavior). You will always feel like you need to phone a friend to ask if your situation is normal because this person will give you $200 to pamper yourself but won't invite you to Christmas dinners or let you have access to their phone. They will leave/abandon/ghost you to say they are sleeping at a relative's house then on their way home they will offer to bring you breakfast or something from the store. Even their giving is a form of manipulation. They want to distract you with gifts to keep you off balanced from the emotional abuse they are putting you through. When you ask them why they didn't come home they will say they felt like you didn't want them around or etc. You will spend the entire relationship wondering how someone who seems like such a nice person can be so emotionally cold. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Barryinvestigation@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..

Being involved with a narcissist can be extremely dangerous!

Rather be broken for a year than to suffer for the rest of my life

It is horrible to be fooled by a narcissist, but it really highlighted how much work I need to do on myself to not let others determine my happiness, or how I should feel about myself. Self love is the answer

When you get free of a narcissist it is time to party and love a great life forward

Narcissists are never done with getting supply from anyone. When they lose their other supply they will come back around.

Until we find love in ourselves we won’t know what true love is

No! A narcissist is never done with you. They are still bad mouthing you. They may even act nonchalant like they have done nothing wrong, but they will instinctively scheme and act on any stray opportunity. They will attack the very first opportunity you give or they can get. So they are counting on you to be foolish enough to think they've moved on.

BROKEN CHILDREN...

So true. People with personal attachment issues can easily fall into relationships with narcissists.

My ex covert narcissist tried to kill me. They are extremely dangerous.

The sad thing is there are so many out there now but once youve been bitten and you become aware life will never be the same again spotting them becomes so easy and they are growing in number

My mother was probably the worst covert narcissist ever I am 33 years old still trying to recover from the trauma.

I've been in a relationship for 25 years. The mirroring stopped 17 years ago. But, I thought...relationships require work, I'm going to work on this. But after trying my very best I have been insulted, hit, screamed at, ignored, etc. There is not love left. There is no trust left. Yet we still live together. It's horrible. When I finally extricate myself from this situation there will be no more romantic relationships for me. I am done. I've been kind of destroyed.

Yeah sometimes you don't see it till it's too late. This is very true and on point.

This is exactly my wife! Uncaring and distant. Controlling and extremely jealous. Kept me from my family. She was having an affair with one guy, then another. Very disrespectful!! Constantly lying.

I got mirrored big time. She used to call herself a chameleon, and I had no idea that she was spelling out her disorder. And it's also sad.

One thing I have learned about narcissist, don't ever ever expose them. I did and now I have a smear campaign on the net forever.

Some narcs are molly codled and turn out to be golden child no abuse over loved

Just because you were abused by a narcissist is a child doesn’t mean you’re gonna be a narcissist

the love bond is missing in these beings. Never received love, charising, hugs, and certainty of security being protected by affection

It adds an extra layer or two of complexity when the narcissist you are dealing with is your family member. Definitely not easy but you learn quick!

They're not the only person that have problems during their childhood,in my opinion I think are Reptillians

Plot twist: the whole world is narcisistic.

Glad it's over, never going back i'll try to rekindle the rest of the family but will not break no contact with "the one" or anyone associated with it.

They ARE demons and I am better than all of them.

Dealing with a malignant one.. it was awful to realise..

The teachings on referring to Narcissist's as evil or demonic is inline with the truth and Scriptures. Call a tree what it is. Thanks for your teaching.

Yes What You Said is The Truth!!! I have never Hated My Ex Husband for being A Narcissist and I Took it As A Big Lesson

The excuse of having trauma as a child can not be the only reason we are having an epidemic of narcissistic people. Many many many people suffer abuse and trauma as children. Yet, many of these people turn out to be empathic people who also can experience remorse and guilt. Traumatic childhoods are not some sudden anomaly experienced mass wide as children of the baby boomer era. We are not addressing all of the causative factors which are creating impossibly toxic relationships, world wide. We can't fix this rising problem until we identify the problems correctly. If we don't change this epidemic asap, we will not have enough healthy people to maintain a civilized world.

Facts.. they copy verbiage, manurisms...it's odd to see this from someone I once saw as greater than me. It was a mirror to show me how valuable I actually am. Once I was aware enough to see this oddity 😅❤. When you are genuinely kind it is confusing that someone could be inherently evil

They try to destroy you

You cannot just give up on yourself just have Faith in The Most High as he is always watching. 💯

I am that narcissistic and i know part came from growing up in a house with a alcoholic father and toxic/ narcissistic mother (her true narcissistism didnt fully pop out till after i turned 21) But im not putting blame on them, my bad choices are on me And in wanting everything, i lost everything. And being hooked on sleeping really sent me spiraling. And i do feel pain, every moment of everyday. I did have it all and lost it. I am the monster, my biggest fear was being all alone in life and ive pushed,used,manipulated, bad friend, bad husband. Im finally getting the help i needed, it took a broken hip to do it. Its so bad i spent my 50th birthday in the hospital and i was alone and thats all on me. I do feel pain and i do have empathy, those never left even at my worst, i showed affection and meant it. Thats why i call myself a monster, how can i be a manipulator and hurt peopke when i also feel the pain i put them thru?

I blocked the numbers of two narcissists recently. I don't want to hurt them only get rid of them. Then i found out someone else blocked me in retaliation for that. When I heard the gravelly angry sounding automated voice tell me I couldn't make the call, I gave myself a high five. The phone company did me a magnificent favor by pissing off my narcissists for me. That way my narcissists can't very easily accuse me of being suddenly mean. They can blame our service provider. LOL.

If only it were that flipping easy!!!!

I just discovered that my Mother and my only sister are narcissistic sociopaths. I'm so broken, they've destroyed every aspect of my life, I don't know what to do.

I am married to one and everything u say is true and on point . Happy we are separated.

Bs. A person's childhood does not define how a person is at the moment. What a person does is what defines them. Just because a person had a bad childhood does not mean they are a narcissist. It is important to know what love is and love isn't in order to genuinely love. And anyone that truly loves you will not lie to you. It's impossible for any intentional liar to truly love anyone. And they their own worst enemy. Because when the lies are found out then trust has been broken. Is common sense you cannot trust a liar. Part of healthy happy relationships are built by honesty trust and respect. Respect begets respect. Anyone that intentionally lies to you is also disrespecting you. Evil is as evil does. Also I've come to understand that following 1 corinthians 5:9-11 is key to living a relatively narc free life. Actions do speak louder than words so paying attention to actions will help to identify liars. People that go thru life lying are indeed doing witchcraft on others to survive and get what they do not rightly deserve. Even when they say they love you it's a lie. They use others. Selfish agendas and hidden motives. But they will twist things around utilizing lies to defend their relationship crimes. Maintaining their innocence when indeed they are the victimizers.........yet they'll often use a victim mentality and project that they are a victim when Noone has done them wrong at all. Love is the absence of abuse. Narcs however utilize lies and lies are emotional abuse. Narcs demonize empaths or honest people with lies but an honest person will demonize a narc with truth. The only way to fight lies is with truth. But a liar will not accept the truth. And accuse you as a lie when in fact they lie. The truth always wins in the end tho. The narcs are draining. Very toxic. Liars cannot love themselves or God or anyone else. Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft......lies are witchcraft (manipulation). Lies are evil or sinful. Is against the will of God. Even liars do not like being lied to. But often they believe people never change but the reality is that's a lie. And it's them that won't change so they go thru life getting others before they get them mentality. Instead of just doing what is right and being honest in all things.

I think it's so true that we need to examine ourselves too, to figure out how we got into this type of relationship. Many comments I see the people are justifiably angry and bitter, but still need to find a way to get past that. I've dated a few too many narcissists, so that shows something w/ me that I'm attracting them and being attracted to them. I thought I'd learned to avoid and get out away from these types of people, but my last 10 year relationship was the worst ever and he was very narcissistic. I'd never been w/ someone that lied or cheated like that, so it was a real deterioration in the quality of person I was w/. I don't see him as a monster anymore, but I once did and I hated him for what he did to me. I won't trust him again, but I wish him well. He will most likely not get help or ever be able to stay in real relationship. I think they are capable of a type of love, but it's shallow and they don't know how to maintain it when issues come up. They want the high of infatuation and need endless validation, even when they are no longer able to give it. I just need to heal fully and trust myself again to meet the right type of person and fully recognize the red flags. One of the big ones is the rush of how they get so addicted to you and rush into committment and want to spend all their time w/ you from the getgo. This is flattering, but it's unhealthy. More slow and easy wins the race. The other big red flag was how he was bitter and blamed all his exes. Someone like that will always end up blaming you too. I was at peace w/ my past relationships. I still felt love for the long term ones, but recognized the issues that broke us up. I was on good terms w/ them all and he was the opposite. Other than that. It seemed like mutual love for at least the first 5 years. I didn't recognize how bad all the boundary issues were from the beginning though until the end. Still some reflecting and healing to do before I can safely date again.

I dont think they are a demon i think they have one controlling them!

I gave her too much credit, thinking she was mature enough to respect normal boundaries, and I was sorry for her as well because she was socially very inept. She always went on about how people abandoned her and she was always afraid of losing me. So much as I wanted her to back off, I put up with a lot that I shouldn't have. But when I cut off her supply, that's when her true colours came glaring through and my nagging suspicions confirmed. But it hadn't occurred to me that she could be a narcissist. Now I think she could be.

Thank you for all your videos, they’re very helpful and informative.

Thank you making these videos. I appreciate them.

Oh, Man, This is so very true, and then they turn i to psychopaths...

My mom devastated our childhood and her marriage playing around..i observed it and her talking on phone tell stories. My sistet followed suit. She had five husband's. When the person i got involved seemed too familiar i should seen it. But i didn't. She cooked the same way as i saw my mother and sister cook. The attachment to her was deep, i was blindfolded to her malignant actions till dicard day. I think about what real love is and i can never find. And add unconditional to that love. I don't really know. But my friend once daid this,, the only thing "closest" to real love in this is that between a new born baby and mother. God is like that. No matter how much we shit on and blame Him, he still supplies all the necessities of life, for all species, unconditionally.

Pretty much describes my marriage and the aftermath going through the divorce. I was clueless.

I've been born into this abuse 😢😮Then I escaped and married the 1rst man that told me he loved 😍 me and would take care of me❤Then 7 years later, he tried to kill me because

They are demons

I am sick of the advice that justifies the narcissist behaviour. Behavioural abuse is a crime, and narcissists are not above the law.

shame and fear are often unconscious drivers of behaviors that disserve them. Bringing gentle attention to the sneaky ways that shame shows up is often the first step toward living a more authentic and satisfying life. Shame - that gnawing sense of being flawed, defective, and unworthy of love - drives us to construct a self that we think (or hope) will be acceptable to others. Being rejected, banished, and humiliated are among the most painful human experiences. We may perpetuate our anxiety and exhaust ourselves trying to use our intelligence to figure out who we need to be in order to win the acceptance and love that we crave. Rather than relax into our natural, authentic self, we twist ourselves into knots in order to belong and feel safe. When our experience has taught us that it’s not safe to be authentic, we labor long and hard to design and polish a self that we think we be acceptable. For some people, this might be trying to showcase our cleverness, beauty, or sense of humor. For others, it might be amassing wealth or power to show the world how “successful” we’ve become. We may strive to be better than others or special in order to be loved. Trying to be someone we’re not is exhausting. Many of us have been so driven by shame to create a false self that we’ve lost touch with the goodness and beauty of who we really are. Shame and Authenticity Shame and authenticity go hand in hand. If we hold the core belief that we’re flawed, then this mental/emotional construct colors who we are and what we present to the world. Shame conditions us to lose touch with the spontaneous, joyful child within us. Life becomes serious business. Internalizing the message that there’s no room to be our authentic self, with its strengths and limitations, we move away from ourselves. Our sense of self-worth can only grow in a climate of affirming who we are, which includes validating the full range of our feelings and honoring our needs, wants, and human foibles. As we come to recognize when shame is operating and how it holds us back, it begins to loosen its destructive grip over us. Gradually, we can honor and stand behind ourselves, regardless of how others might judge us. We realize more and more that we have no control over what others think about us. Holding ourselves with respect and dignity becomes increasingly ascendant - displacing our real or imagined thoughts about how we’re being perceived by others. We discover how freeing and empowering it is to be our authentic self. The limitations of language make it difficult to talk about authenticity. The “authentic self” is really a misnomer. It implies that there is some ideal way of being and that we need to find our authentic self, as if it existed apart from our moment to moment experiencing. If we cling to a construct in our mind about what it means to be our authentic self, we’re missing the point. Being authentic is a verb, not a noun. It’s a process of mindfully noticing the ever-changing flow of experiencing inside us, apart from the contaminating influences of shame and our inner critic. We give ourselves full permission to notice what we’re feeling, sensing, and thinking in this moment of time - and we’re willing to congruently show that when it feels right to do so.

Three narcissists i know were deeply loved, cherished, cared for, etc. as children. My daughter, her father, and her now husband who is so very reminiscent of her father are them.

This is it! She never was capable of Love. Period! No matter how “long” one was together. She was never “yours” fellas, it was just your “turn”… 😳 But 💯 the Truth

Childhood trauma period point blank it no way around it period point blank, I realize she didn't love me from the start, But I know the real reason behind it for Christ sake, Her parents I m not worrying about narcissist being done with me at all because love was never involved in the first place,And I thank God she out of my life and she aware she can't comeback her shame her hell forever Enterally she lacks all of human from intimacy and the list goes on when you talk about love period...

They do lash out !!! ONE BIG LIE

Ty dearly...Very Informative 😇

My wife murdered me. Her name is Bernaliza. She always threaten to divorce me, replace me and she hit me. She murdered my soul. She was an angry mean narcissist. She loved making me cry and sad. She hates me and nothing I ever do is good enough. The meanest thing she did is let me go on living instead of wasting me

This is so #legit. Thank you so much for just naming it and telling the #truth man

I just got out of a relationship with one. She had no empathy for how i felt about things. She would shut down when she got mad and failed to communicate. Almost 100 percent sure she made a fake fb profile as another woman to set me up. Why? No reason. I found she had other men in her phone contacts that she dated or had sex with. I deleted all my exes. She couldn't do that. She knew how to hurt me and then would go to sleep and sleep great not caring i was going through hell. Then everything was my fault. She never admitted she was wrong.

Yep my husband is talking and whatever else with another woman now. I knew I was over this when I didn’t even have a reaction other than that poor woman.

When a Narcissist has moved on: 1) The intimacy will be replaced by indifference, anger and hate. 3) They will already have moved on, chatting to a few others. 4) You feel the intimacy you experienced was fake. It was all a lie. We were blinded by our love and didnt see the red flags. 5)

Good post. I found therapy and 12 step program very helpful of regaining my Self after a Narcissistic/Karmic union. It is worth pointing out however that even those who are not NPD suffer from a Void. This Void is Toxic Shame. It is just that we are subconsciously trying to escape from this, into unconditional love which is what the Narcissist is mirroring back during the infatuation/idealisation phase. The distinction between a NPD and a Neurotypical (with Narcissistic traits) lies in their in/ability to self reflect, and introspect. The NPD is unable to cope with facing their Shame, stick with therapy long term, and use other tools like 12 Step spiritual programmes to change. Whilst the Neurotypical can because they not only have EGO, but also Superego, to form a moral/spiritual compass. Finally, we all need Narcissism EGO to survive and thrive. It only becomes malignant/destructive with NPD.

Exactly their parents trained them since birth to be narcissists. My ex husband a narcissist was exactly like his narcissist parents and his brother. One thing that would amaze people is my ex, and his parents never spoke to me throughout my 20 year marriage to their son nor did they speak to their son either. How satanic is that. so glad I’m out and no contact.

I now understand how this narc shined a light on my mental health and forced me to take a look at my CPTSD and co-dependency.

I know narcissistic people whom had perfectly good childhood well loved,so that's not stemmed from childhood.

My ex husband and his mother were both abused by his father. One day my ex got home from school just in time to see his father put a gun to his head and shoot himself. All of his problems started there. He says that he doesn’t remember his father. I got the information from his Aunt. All of that trauma happened in the early 1960’s and was never talked about. I was married to him for 16 years and begged him to get counseling. Surprisingly he never got angry when I suggested he get help. I told him that he needed to get that ghost out of his system but he would never go to a therapist. He tried to keep me away from my family and friends, which didn’t work. I would go anyway. He was always so jealous accusing me of cheating on him, he would interrupt me when I was talking on the phone constantly. He was jealous when I spent time with the kids.

We shouldn't beat ourselves up for being victimized. They're so good, it's difficult for anybody to escape such a person- that's why they have such big fan clubs . That's why they're so destructive because people lose tryst and faith in other people, sometimes for decades.

In anything wrong that’s went through ones life, one cant blame others but herself. For me, its just okay if hes done. Whats important is I understand everything and hes gotten over me and found a better one😊

Unbeknownst to her, it is 100% done.

Being a narcissist is tied into so many other disorders. Sociopath, Dismissive Avoidant , Borderline Personality Disorder, and any others that I haven’t thought of here.

I don’t agree, just because I don’t want to have sex with just anyone, your going to be labeled. I have childhood trauma. I am the most loving person I know. 😮

He was done after he twisted my arm and put me to the floor in front of my son and his friends after I tried to stop them from doing drugs 😢

Thanks for your video. My 20 years with my ex covert narcissist is a drab story .This is my brief version. The narcissist hard to resist Sucked in by Charisma and Charm But time brings regret for this Person you met is bringing you Nothing but harm Time's what it takes to see through The fakes , it's all about serving Themselves While you stroke their ego you'll Be their Amigo Stop and you're left on the Shelves Love and Compassion just isn't Their fashion For inside they're empty and weak Whatever they do is not about you For it's self love and attention they Seek Life's Drama and Friction to serve This addiction Your forced to forget about You Time's what it takes to unmask the fakes And accept that their love wasn't True.

my cyber bully who has many narcissist tendencies copied me too, especially picking up figures of speech from me. Gah I hated that and sometimes she used them in the frong context and I'd have to correct. I never felt close to her. My feelings went from "This is a sweet and potential great friend" to "Ew, what's the matter with her?" "She's smothering me." and "Why doesn't she just get over herself already!?" to eventually "Oh, girl, just leave me alone! There's nothing you can do for me! I gave mer supply without even knowing it, and when it became clear she really was unhealthy, then my life took a devastating turn as well, and I just couldn't cope with her demands on my time and energy any more.

Very informative, balanced perspective. Painful to hear

33 years of it

I used to bf bothered because my narcissistic friend used to “ steal my words”. She would take mh ideas as her own. I never knew that this was a major flag.

But they don't love and care about themselves if they don't love and care for others...

We fight not against flesh and blood but against principalities, powers, and wicked spirits in high places. These wicked spirits influence human behavior-particularly if a door was opened to trauma and abuse. Only the person can choose to be set free. This is for all those that think it is strictly mentally or emotionally based.

Thank You❤

Same here Narcissistis DONE ✅ been done

They are never done. One Hoover Trigger is enough for them to test their control over you after months or years.

If I EVER got a sentence or two of anything besides” you’re so right”, my ex would FALL ASLEEP.

this is my wife. I can't stay married but I still care for her. She can't hold a conversation without making a nasty comment. I know it's time to brake up. I am so lonely.

Im guilty for calling my narcissist husband that I've been separated from a year an a half a demon and a narcissist I now understand an I'm thinking clearer. Wow I'm in tears it hurts because it took me years to figure it out but today is a good day I pray 🙏 this personality disorder from my husband B4 he self distruke

Dude I thought she'd shoot up a school on my birthday or attack her husband because she loves drama. Any knock at the door, I think she's finally gotten herself in the news like she wants. I'm scared that she'll try to just reappear after her restraining order she placed against me. She was calling me nonstop and I lashed out at her because when I'm done I'm done. And she fled to the courthouse and I'm glad. Because I get to make a note of it if she calls or texts after I changed my number. I deleted social media and my only public comments are about what happened. When I'd check, she'd reference me covertly in what she's posted. I've been no contact for over two years and chances are she'll read this. She's always watching because she doesn't have a real life or personality. Her hobbies are chasing down supply, lying on the internet and probably torturing everyone around her with her incessant need to be the victim or center of attention. I'm in therapy for the hypervilgance and mourning the loss of my true homie for real, her ex. All the love I had for her went to him and myself. I've unattached myself from that beast

Thank you for this advice you know I love it I'm learning I'm learning trust me I'm learning big time

Agree with u 💯💯💯💯💯

At times, it's not being ignorant when realizing those redflags, the only thing in your mind is the hope of the better tomorrow not giving up without a good fight.

It is not true that all narcissists have trauma in childhood. That is not proven, and many have wonderful childhoods, but they are never happy with what they have or appreciate good people in their lives.

My mom was too..don't know if I'll ever be normal from it all!

This is / was my reading...My ex is a Narcissist....And everything you just said..IS WHAT HE IS, TO THE TEE...

Best video of the truth

They are full of demons. Pushing blame is not helpful. Denying the truth is not a good thing

True about having contacts in the side. Had a whole plan that didn’t include me. funny thing is …he thought I didn’t know. I knew ..I could feel it. It was his anger,emotional & verbal abuse that pushes me away…but the kicker to my filing for divorce was knowing he was seeing someone and living elsewhere part time. in the end..I was right.

Yeah the telltale sign is they don’t volunteer how they feel about you they grill you with questions on how you feel and why you haven’t said a few things I had no idea but now I know

This is so head fukin for people in this position like myself and has left me with no answers.

Thank you

It's not unhealthy to blame the narcissist. They deceived you the entire time.