Nervous System “Clutter” Makes It Hard to Think Clearly or Get Things Done 

Amen 😅🙏

Thank you for sharing. If you haven't already, try Anna's Daily Practice. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

Exact one if the things that happens to me as well .

I've been researching autism and they have something called PDA. Nit public display of affection. This one is Pathological Demand Avoidance. For example if something is your idea, on your timeframe, and you're working in it, but someone comes along and says anything critical or demands that you do it, you suddenly lose interest.. When I was little I had to clear the table after dinner every other night, taking turns with my sister. I hated it so much that it took me hours. Because it was being basically forced. I could have set a timer for 15 minutes to play beat the clock and made a game out of it.

@@recoveringsoul755 Or do the chore with your sister every night and have a competition who could take out more dishes faster. My sister and I, when we were little, would do that when we were cleaning up after a game we played. It made it so much fun and we always laughed when we did it.

Same for me its Trigger ...wanting to please ....having a Narc mom growing up all I wanted to do was please her so its a habit now for me

Why 38?

@@rachelmel no reason. 45 is too long. 30 may be too short.

When ihad baby twins i was advised to take the day 20 minutes at a time,when feeling really stressed give up getting anything really tasking done, just sit with the babies and enjoy them…i did these tips continuously, it got me through…and i still use it…just this weekend things got so stressful, i poured coffee and sat down, worked on my virtual puzzles….it’s amazing how you can feel the tension go away.

When I found the FlyLady channel or site about getting organized and making routines, she had a 15 minute saying she even sold a timer that measured 15 minutes. For exercise too

I have CPTSD and I do the same thing. But I use 15 minutes as my minimum. Quite often I find I'm still wanting to do the task after the 15 minutes is up. It's getting started and pushing yourself to do something while you feel horrible that is the most challenging. When I do complete the goal of 15 minutes or more I then make sure I speak kindly to myself. Unlike how I was spoken to by my abuser. I consciously and purposely remember to praise myself as if I were speaking to a good friend.

I am so sorry. 😟🥺😢❤

I did a lot of daydreaming in grade school too & needed to use it to escape overwhelming thoughts & memories.

I remember sleeping in class during high school. I remember being exhausted… it’s wild how I’m just now realizing it. I must of felt safer at school!!!

I remember being spaced out and daydreaming gazing out of the window.. I still do this..

I’m so sorry your youth was so traumatic. There is a book, Smart Love by Jody Hayes, that really helped me I’m recommending to help with doing exactly what you mentioned: nurturing your inner child as the adult you are now. This book changed how I react to my childhood anxiety and allowed me to comfort my inner child and heal. You can usually find used copies online. Sending you much love and healing.

Same! It's actually kind of relieving to know that there are no expectations of you in that moment, you have an excuse to just rest and get better.

Ditto that. I was so stressed out that I said to myself I need a break from this life! Two days later I tested positive for covid. Eeek.

I can relate to that too. I had nearly all childhood illnesses and that was the only time my mother had some time for me. Sad,sad,very sad ! On the other side I find it amazing,what your subconscious and your body are trying to tell you. It took me an eternity to listen to both after I ignored it for so many years. I believe you have to learn to trust yourself after it was not accepted to show your emotions. Still working on it….

Yes

I feel you. The only time I'm not overwhelmed is when I'm drinking. 😅 I know it's not the solution, hence I am here. Good luck to us all ❤

Me too!

The anxiety was paralyzing.. senses shut down, blurry vision, waves of flushing heat - waves of shame. I’m sure they were panic attacks. The 1st one I remember vividly in kindergarten.

Yep, Kay -me too. I’m finally at a receptive AND financial place (soon) to start overcoming. 🙏

@yonitznkc,wishing you all the very best for your recovery ❤️‍🩹 😊

@@yonitznkc I wish you the best - I’m happy for you!! It’s such a relief to finally get closure to the early traumas. Full circle;))

Prayers for healing and peace, for your mind and body ❣️🙏💯💪

Sending you love 💕and a hug🤗. I definitely understand that knowing what to do to help vs. actually doing it can feel worlds apart, but I pray you will do at least one little thing differently each day to help change the immense stress you’re under. What can you let go of, that may feel necessary but really can wait? Become aware of your breathing consistently throughout the day, and no matter what is going on (and as you lay in bed for sleep and wake up), choose to breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose, and out slowly and completely through your nose, taking slightly longer on the exhale than the inhale. (Intentional nose breathing like that was the key to solving the insomnia that was destroying me for over two years; and melatonin and zzzquil had both stopped working). Meditation is a hugely helpful practice. Check out Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work. Start by taking/making 15 minutes for yourself so sit down in a dark quiet room alone and do his “GOLOV 20” meditation, using YoU yourself as the person you send love to during it. Use headphones (or surround sound). YoUr life matters and yoU deserve to give care to yoUrSelf! You can’t be there for others unless you’re there for yourself. We can literally kill ourselves in this crazy life by continuing to act like we can keep doing/handling everything and more. A phrase I like is “if we listen to our body when it whispers, we won’t have to hear it scream.” Try kirtan chanting, like Krishna Das (I have a small ‘kirtan’ playlist on my channel if you’d wanna check some out). Kirtan can be a perfect way to get out of your head stress and into heart presence and slower, healing breathing. My heart goes out to you. You’re not alone in the struggles. Sometimes all we can do is breathe, and that’s enough. Getting outside (somewhere tranquil, ideally) can be very powerful too. When I step outside and look up at the night sky, it’s immediately a breath of fresh air and feels different than inside, in a good way. Same goes for getting out in nature during the day. Blessings be with you marybeth ❤️💫

I will pray for you to manage the overwhelm. It's only my faith in God and Jesus that keeps me going day to day xo

I'm so sorry to hear that. We're all sending you support and encouragement. -Calista@TeamFairy

❤ ☦️

Same I have to have strict rules no post or likes and unfollow people just use it for events and christian encouragement posts.

Me too. I really limit it. And the news.

Same but I’m addicted to it, especially tik tok and even RU-vid

Basically gave up on them/minimised them a few years ago due to that exact reason. Among the best things I ever did (was seriously occupied with them in the past).

I got a 56 Plymouth Fury recently and I'm going to build it this winter.

When I was a kid Legos were my outlet when I was overwhelmed!

Art is good therapy too. I draw to escape reality.

My escape is gardening & landscaping… these are activities that I can start at any level of psychological chaos, and usually I am able to relax into more the more focused elements of these tasks.

I know what you mean about listening to politics. I do have to be careful how much of that content I expose myself to or else I'll get very overwhelmed by stress and negativity. I always have to take a break from that stuff. The last time I let myself obsess over it, I had a huge mental breakdown and relapsed back into my ED and substance abuse. I find nature walks, gardening and making collages to be very relaxing. I also love to read a good fictional book, knit and crochet, and play videogames sometimes. Watching a good light hearted comedy is definitely a good pallet cleanser after I've watched more content about negative and heavier topics.

I believe God has placed this HEALING video in my hands. I Hug you with so much gratitude for what you are doing to help all of us walking in these 'trauma shoes' I will spend time with you everyday ! 💯no longer suffering alone.. 💛

I'm the same, 61 and discovering why I've always felt left out, ignored and didn't fit in. It appears that there are a lot of us. Take care.

Hi @sherrillfuller1782 You’re not alone , I too am 60 years old, nearly 61; cptsd, just lost my sister and brother (co-sufferers also) my life is falling apart. Desperate actually, just wish I could be standing in front of you to give you a hug and share a little mutual understanding.

@@garylake1497 thanks Gary I just had my rescue dog put down yesterday so there’s that new layer of trauma…I have a half sister left but she lives a thousand miles from me. It’s been a difficult week emotionally. I’m sorry for your losses too. 💔❤️‍🩹

For decades that was my self soothing- now I find it irritating

Yes silence is an important thing to cultivate.

I got an electric bike. Oh my goodness, if you want to feel like you're 12 again, get a bike and a helmet and some gloves. I don't know what chemicals it releases, but I feel super energized afterwards. And I don't have to pedal if I don't want to LOL. It's not about exercise. You get to be alone, having fun. Best wishes from Tulsa ☮️🤠

Thank you stevec for sharing, I feel this same way too….trying to plan my way out of the overwhelmed. Needed to hear CCF’s message & your validation of this pattern…thank you both!

K​@@stacyjaye6350

Blessings to you 🙏

Good luck to you. People can be awful in the work place. I hope you feel better today.

Relate❤

sammywhatammy, This year I've experienced a lot of those things. Only in the past 2 weeks have many of them ended. I feel lucky for the gloom to have passed. I can feel freedom again.I hope you get released soon from the overwhelm, the down feelings, and the cycle of anxiety that you have been experiencing.

I am combating this with self-directed neuroplastic brain retraining. There are some great programs out there for you to get better! You can heal from this!

@beckykay9178 Would you be willing to share which websites or apps and whether they're free or not?!

Thanks for being a part of our community here! If you haven't already, try Anna's Daily Practice. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

You are not alone

Thank you 💐 Today I managed better. A good sleep makes a heck of a difference

🙏 ❤

Oh my gosh, I'm the same! I've never even had children, but always struggled just taking care of myself. I did a lot more when I was younger, though. Now that I'm 60, I can't really handle much of anything anymore. 😒

@@christinelamb1167 ~Yes, part of my reason for not wanting kids was seeing how overwhelmed, busy & tired every mother i knew was, and it lasted for years on end?!?~I never figured id be able to handle that for that long?!~Nowdays, my cats are just about the right amount of effort & responsibility~

I resonate with these comments too. And I think my own stress tolerance has decreased over time, but my self awareness has also increased. So now I give myself permission to do what I need regardless. It doesn’t have to be a negative thing to do what you need in the moment. I think that’s us judging ourselves about what’s “normal”. I’m learning how to listen less to societies’ values that don’t fit me and responding more quickly to my own needs.

Yes You've said this so well. Thank you for putting this in words so succinctly, this explains my own feelings of how important self-care is.

I'm so glad the video was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy

Wow, and ouch... From one cptsd soul to another, what a fkin nightmare you lived (your mom put you through) I wish I could hug you right now. I remember all too well having abusive put on me and then when I was on the verge of crying would be told, you big baby, what are you going to do cry?! So freaking infuriating I really felt that when you said she would ask you if you were going to cry, the tone the look on their faces, that incredulous look, as if to be assaulted really like that shouldn't hurt. Screw them

@@lisalynch229 Awe..thank you dear!! I would accept your hug!! Yes, I can tell you understand. The look on my Mother's face was one of contempt, disgust and just malice. She is in a nursing home today. I still take care of her. If it wasn't for finding my own path with Jesus Christ and actually learning the word of the gospel; I would have never been able to forgive her. But I learned growing up ppl would do evil things then go to church like they were saints. It was such a hypocrisy. But today I am a devoted Catholic. I have broken the cycle of abuse once I had become a Mother myself 29 years ago. I'm about to be a Grandma. I have been married for 30 years. I am still struggling with my OCD and now that I'm about to be a Grandma I'm thrilled but so nervous too! Lol 🤣. I thank God for my Family and friends. It took me 20 years to learn and unlearn things. I really benefitted from cognitive therapy and I did TMS last year. It has helped. I just don't hear a lot of ppl with trauma and OCD. I really love this channel. Thank you so much for your comment. I wish you peace of mind and joy!! Lord knows we need it. 🙏🫶

@@valn.6584 I had a huge amount of trauma growing up with a malignant narcissist mother, too. Of course, I didn't know that's what she was, and that's why she treated me the way she did. I also have OCD, and I'm pretty sure I developed it as a way to cope with the abuse. I have forgiven my mother, but I went no contact 3 years ago when I was 57 years old. After a lifetime of over the top emotional abuse and mind games, I finally said I'm done. I didn't make a big announcement, I just stopped communicating with her at all. No more phone calls, no email, and certainly no more seeing her in person. Funny thing is, she's never even asked me why! She sends me a card and a gift on my birthday, but she's never bothered to find out why I'm not talking to her anymore. Unbelieveable, right?!

Thank you so much for your reply back. I never really thought you'd see it, and I hope so but I didn't think I'd get a response back from you. Re- reading what I wrote and I can now see the typos in my message, but you obviously got the gist of what I was saying. Sounds like you have a lovely new chapter starting. Good for you. God bless you!

By the way you'll be a great-grandmother because you'll understand just how easy it is to be decent . And just how easy it is to meet the needs of others. Being kind and understanding really isn't that hard I'm sure it'll be fine, it's normal to be nervous I'm sure! (Never had children) Again, thx for reply. From God Thru God To God

Awww I’m sorry that happens to you! That sucks. I wonder if meditating or confidence hypnosis (there’s tons on RU-vid) would help you. That’s what helped kick my anxiety to the curb. You never know. But I know healing from abuse isn’t a one and done kind of thing. It’s more like peeling off layers. Sending good vibes

@@purvamandlik4696,just received the book : The Body keeps the Score, by Bessel Van Der Kolk Started reading and could hardly stop it! This book is the best of what I ever read about how brain,mind and body interact. I knew they do,bc I felt it too often. Now getting it explained helps a lot to understand much better,how you can deal with it and very important… don’t blame yourself! I’m 78 and it became worse as I’m not American and don’t feel loved by my daughter who wanted me to come here 8 years ago.While she lives here more than 20 years,from when she was 18, while I was nearly 70 when I moved here.She is the only one around I can speak to in our original language but sadly enough she has hardly time for me. I understand and are not complaining to her that I don’t feel as part of the family with nearly grown up kids now. So all my problems from my early childhood were coming back and I’m feeling neglected and not loved. So now I’m again on psychotherapy (I had numerous in my country but none were really helping me) And important for me,I found the videos . I hope the book is the last pearl to help me creating a new necklace,to wear it with new happy feelings and feeling proud to having achieved my goal towards the end of my life !

Could it be that you have some insecurity issues which in turn makes you seek approval from others and this leads you to be nervous and tongue tied? This is what I'm working on...improving my self perception. I need to stop elevating everyone around me and start believing that I'm OK and getting better and better! Preparation is very important but don't beat yourself up if you have a memory lapse or flub a line. Use these as a learning experience. We can do this!!👍💪😀

I went the this with my son too- take him outside, get him physically tired, their body & brain is in need of physical running, climbing, ets… he will feel better if he gets into a routine like that- it helped my son who went through a very hard time. Boys especially are not getting enough of this.

@@suzannortega6671 Thank you. Yes, I agree. That is one reason he does Cross Country. He gets plenty of fresh air and running with that. That is the positive. I think the main thing is the band requirements he has this year. He is on his 2nd year of tuba and still struggling quite a lot to keep up with reading the notes. It is a required class for middle school, so it's not like I can let him quit. I never could read notes myself no matter who tried to teach me so feeling helpless to help him. Right now, just doing the best we can.

🙏 ❤

Yes, this! A low carb diet has helped me mentally and physically. Sugar makes me feel horrible and I am so addicted after so many years of it.

Kathy, yes about the unhealthy foods out there. I eat mainly plant based food, avoid processed foods, recently started avoiding edible items with artificial dyes in them and reading Nutrition Facts labels more closely.

Yeah. Every time I try getting rid of my stuff that I don’t need anymore my husband takes almost everything out of the box. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

​@@poetryjones7946have you tried to find out why his things are so important to him? I get both people need to come to agreement over their space but I can tell you from experience that resentment can increase if you're working against each other.

💕🤗

I have psoriasis arthritis which I am sure was caused by trauma in adolescence. I am now 62. It flares up and I become sick when I get overwhelmed. I hope you find helpful ways of looking after yourself. xx

Can you get respite ie he stays away a bit?

Good luck on your healing journey! Nika@TeamFairy

I'm so glad the video was helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy

🙏 ❤

Sweetheart, it's not you......xxxx

​@thinkingoutloud7425 Maybe it is her fault?? I've noticed a lot of the comments... always a victim. When you get 50+, there's a good chance that you're damaged goods. Don't let yesterday take too much of Today!

Glad it was helpful! Nika@TeamFairy

This was what I dealt with as a child - the hyper-vigilant, on guard feeling,always waiting for the other shoe to drop if you will.

Isolation is really hard, and it’s often a CPTSD symptom. If you’re interested, Anna has a course to help called Connection Bootcamp. bit.ly/CCF_Connection Nika@TeamFairy

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I'll look into this, thank you 🙂

I didn't realize until I read your comment. I connected with what you said. Juggled lots of trauma but then the covid was the straw that broke this camel's back…

Glad you found your way to help with getting regulated. Nika@TeamFairy

Glad to hear this video motivated you to work on your healing process! Good luck with your writing and meditation! These are great tools that help us regulate. Nika@TeamFairy

Great work. That’s what healing looks like. Thank you for your comment! Nika@TeamFairy

Thank you for watching! You may also like Daily Practice. It can help with de-cluttering by giving you clarity on what you should do first. Here’s a link to the free course: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

Glad you are here! Nika@TeamFairy

Thank you for your comment. Glad to hear this channel brings you hope. Good luck on your healing process! Nika@TeamFairy

Thank you for watching and for sharing your experience. If you haven't already, try Anna's free Daily Practice course. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice It is also a great tool to calm your thoughts by giving you clarity about what’s most important to do today. Nika@TeamFairy

Thank you for watching. Glad you are here. If you haven't already, try Anna's Daily Practice. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

Glad to hear the video helped you understand where your overwhelm comes from. Thank you for your comment! If you haven't already, try Anna's Daily Practice. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

Thanks for watching! Daily Practice can help with procrastination by giving you clarity about what’s most important to do today. It is also a great tool to process fears and resentment. You can try it here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

Hey Heather, I'm sorry you're experiencing this right now, that's a lot to manage. Sometimes, when I get too overwhelmed, I focus on eating meals, and doing my dishes. Right now, I ate dinner, and now I'm doing my best to gear up and go take care of the dishes. There are so many other things too, but when I focus on one thing only, it can help me start a positive motion. I'm cheering you on, and imagining that you're cheering me on to do the dishes~

@@spiralali Thank you so much, yes, it's getting started that's the problem, along with standing.. I make my tiny kitchen such a mess it overwhelms me, I keep on putting it off but I must make a start, thanks for cheering me on. We can cheer each other on to do the dishes!

I'm a pro at crastination.

Thank you for watching. Glad you are here! Nika@TeamFairy