NEVER GO BACK TO THE NARCISSIST 

If you got out of Ted Bundy's House alive, would you go back? I DON'T THINK SO!!!

No contact is the ONLY WAY OUT PERMANENTLY 🙏

Was like being in a horror movie, get out while you can! Or they'll take all your power/sanity and you'll be helpless. RUN!

Going back to a narcissist it’s like you in heaven then you decide to go to hell

Your grieving the loss of what you hoped it could be vs grieving the Narcassist

The listening but not hearing, their lack of empathy means they need to win, they just don’t care. Walking away is very powerful.

Not ever tempted to go back to that hell hole, I’m in my healing now and it’s peaceful

Never go back to the situationship because it was never a relationship! Toxicity is not love! Take your power back! A narc sees you as their property! The golden rule is, GO NO CONTACT AND STAY NO CONTACT! Put the junk in the trunk! The narc like to play checkers but we play chess and God plays chess mate because He is The Alpha And The Omega and have the Final say!!!!

"Healthy relationships can be fixed with teamwork. Abusive relationships must be fixed by the abuser."

Your description of the pain and shock is spot on. It almost killed me. My X had love bombed me for many decades and then the floor under my feet disappeared as I discovered that he had had a decade of affairs and he had stripped all of our resources. It was a nightmare where I could not breath and took myself to the hospital. I could not eat or sleep for 2 years. He showed me a psychopathic mind and wanted to destroy me. He smuggly said that he had just been playing a role. The pain was so bad, that the pain itself will prevent me from ever going back. He took everything but not my sanity. I am OK with the fact that those who have not gone through this, would never understand. Thank you for this video.

🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️Save your life 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

It's the same when people say: "oh why didn't you just get up and leave?"... "I would have left in an instant". I usually don't even bother trying to explain NPD to people, because they don't understand it unless they go through it. People even said: "no, I don't believe you. You must be a narcissist playing the victim. Men don't get abused, women are not narcissists". When exiting a relationship with a narcissistic dynamic, it takes time to wrap our heads around what really happened. Remember this: If you go back, the narcissist will likely "punish" you. The abuse will get WORSE! The ones who got away are viewed as traitors.

When raised by a Narc this teaches us that its ok that those who love me...hurt me

I teetered on going back at first, because I was obsessed with the fantasy of the life and beautiful location I could've had. I was not missing the person but rather the package he presented. It seems to me that it was more material and ego driven. This was the very worst thing I ever went through. I feel completely lost and like I am slowly walking in thick mudd to find my way. It is truly the worst. Never go back and never ignor red flags.

I just said to my friend "I can't make sense out of nonsense".

And eliminate the thought of reconciliation too.

She hit everything, every horrible symptom.

Mine is a long story i document everthing for 14yrs Wen i show my buddies they said i should write a best sellar or even a movie

To everyone who has had the courage and fortitude to escape, I salute you! You are beyond words, brave and good. I couldn't do it, wasted so many years until my partner died so I never got closure or earned the armour of courage.

I hope anyone considering escaping the narcissists mental torture hears this vlog loud and clear and gives at least a relationship break if that provides a stepping stone till the brain fog clears up and then reask yourself the question of would I go back to a sadist. I would think just latching onto enough reality till full blown disgust can be attained can lead to the obvious life saving choice of permanent no contact. It just needs enough time to prove its the only choice. After your way into healthy mind again you will never believe you stayed as long as you did. It was a mirage, a fantasy, a fictional movie that you thought, hoped was real.

I wish my mom did leave my dad when I was younger to set an example! Instead of teaching me to tolerate being mistreated.

It's been almost a year and a half since I left my wife, and I do about two hours a day of continuing ed to heal and keep my head and heart straight. The battle can be won...but it's never over.

This is the longest I’ve been no contact in 20 years and it’s just a few weeks. We are divorcing and he’s become more abusive than ever, threatening me because he no longer feels in total control. But now, after my health has deteriorated due to anxiety, he’s trying to Hoover me back in! He’s remorseful for listening to his lawyer and losing his family and is trying to get closer to me again. The hardest thing is not getting sucked back in because they say everything you need to hear and play with the hope you’ve been living on for years. I will not respond because I know it’s temporary. As soon as he gets what he wants he’s capable of becoming mean and abusive again, devaluing and discarding me. I won’t fall for it but this hoovering manipulation is exactly how and why it can take decades to truly get out. It’s hard to know what’s worse - the nastiness or the fake love bombing. He may even think he means it because these people are completely self unaware

we can not grow up around them

Its been 3 years since i left. I left behind my lovely home and 2 grown up children. Its so hard. Id do anything to get back my home and children. Deep down that life is now gone. I suppose its time to make my own life work. Its so tough....

In my case, I was abandoned by judgemental “friends” and “family”. I found that people would criticize the relationship and say I should get out of it. In my case I had NO RESOURCES (in the middle of the pandemic). I would have been literally homeless (am STILL a hair away from being being so). These people KNEW my situation, yet offered criticism not HELP to leave. Homeless shelters are at capacity (COVID), people are living in tents in EVERY PARK in my city. Anyway, I am out (he discarded me, and left me destitute). I am desperately trying to climb up and out (ALONE). I eat every other day ( or third day, due to lack of money). I continue to keep hope alive and am hustling to find any job. I believe that The Almighty will come through. The abuser is now in my past. Healing is my future. 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽

Thank you for this. I particularly resonated with the bit you mentioned about going over and rehearsing conversations, or trying to think of things to say to them. I would do this obsessively whenever I was going to see her, or even when just texting. I'd ruminate for sometimes hours thinking about a relatively simple text message. I always thought "If I could just say the right thing, in the right way, finally she'll understand and it will all get sorted". That moment never came.

The hardest thing was leaving her. Every time I wanted to leave, she would make indirect threats; read between the lines threats and I would stay. The screaming, the anger, the horrible things said. When I think about going back, I think about trying to escape her again and it helps.

I didn't get back to her in the past when I didn't know about narcissism, now I will not waste a second of my live with this person.

I'm going through it now. Since 2020 he became physically abusive. 28 years, half my life I gave him. He's been out of the home 8 months. It's so difficult to discuss. Your absolutely correct you think your not going to get through it. 😢

I’m devastated. After pouring of my time and energy, being an emotional soundingboard, a shoulder to cry on, a supportive sister and friend, my friend left for the 29th time to go back to her narcisstic abusive husband holding onto the hope that if they go to counseling together, he will finally admit he is narcisstic, manipulative and finally change. I pleaded with her not to go back but then she became angry and told me to stop trying to control her. I fear that she will not escape this time. It’s very very very hard to see her continue to go back to him. She had just started a job she loved, was making some wonderful steps towards healing and then after he talked to her for four hours on the phone last night and kept her up almost all night, she started saying that “this time things will work out.” It’s so hard to see her come so far only to run back to him. I wish she would cut off all contact with him. I hate how manipulative he is and how just one conversation with him completely changes her mindset. It’s like he brainwashes her. Please pray. This time, he told her he tried to kill himself a week ago and I read online that’s the final tactic a narcissist uses to get his bait back. Please pray that she will not stay and she will leave him again but this time for good. I don’t understand why she keeps going back. Please pray for me as this is really hard. I have to let go of her and I fear that if I do I will never see her again. I cried and cried when she left. I feel worn down because of how stressed I am. I know is not my responsibility to tell her what to do, rescue her etc but please tell me if it’s not my responsibility, then what can I do? I need to know how to break free from this codependency I have with her. I need to let her go. It’s so hard😭

I got rid of the narcissist I was married to a malignant one he was very evil I had enough after two years of dealing with the demons that he allowed to control him something was very wrong with him and I told him in his face your toxic with bad energy and I think your crazy I filed for divorce and I’ll only contact him to sign the papers and after that no contact ever.

He also ruined my actual addiction treatment leaving me physically debilitated and I just want to stop crying. I just know what was done to me start to finish was not loving to do. To hook someone to control them and leave them with 2 battles at once and the shame before my family is immense. I dont want to be seen as that. I just want people to be aware dont trust your treatment to them they will undermine it and its BAD. You are worthy everyone.

Also you are correct about the memory loss. 4 years into recovery l am remembering hideous things. Almost unbelievable however sadly those memories are very real. I had a mental breakdown at the end and was medicated for 2 years so everything was patchy? This video has been extremely helpful.

I can relate to these circumstances, I have that wavering thoughts about the fun and good times I spent with the narc early on, but I try to remind myself of the insults and abuse. No contact and moving on is breaking free, and not to look back .

Watch "Seize the Day". A 1986 movie with Robin Williams. I recommend it for anyone who has been through this. There are so many messages in that movie. It was shown on pbs for a while and is very insightful. One profound line in this movie is when his girlfriend says "Everything does not depend on just one thing". I believe this is how these relationships start. I can definitely relate to the main character. And yes, journaling is very useful even years later.

One thing I did learn through everything was. We get into a fog when in the relationship cause they keep us spinning all the time as if we have a chemical inbalance an then trys to tell ppl see she can't remember an smear there victims but once the narrasstic is gone for good it takes time. Depending on the suverity if abuse. The foh gets lifted completely an u see what it really was. Always kept busy couldn't think for self no rest. Not even to sleep.

🏃RUN FROM 😈

Spot on .. thank u for this .. may God help those being abused

Thank you 🙏🏽 for creating this video and dropping these gems 💎. I had to recognize for self that there is no going back. The narc never 👎 cared about me or for me. It was all a lie and a joke. These narcs don’t care about you or anybody for that matter. You are being used for their fulfillment. Once they’re tired or bored 😑 dealing with you then the devalue and discard will be coming soon 🔜. I’m nearly three years narc free! I’m beyond thankful 🥲 and grateful I’m free and it’s over! Never 👎 again will I put up with that mess. I am now purposefully single, non monogamous and focused on self love, self care, healing ❤️‍🩹 and living my best life.

The next morning after Ieft I saw a purple sunrise. Yes. Its uncertain. But one thing that is for certain is that they never stop their crap. It only gets amped up. I never went back. If I had, I would have never had another chance to do it again. 22 years. Still tried to win via a monkey. 22 years.

“Conflusterated”. This is a term to describe one of the many multifaceted and disorienting Frankenstein’s monster of an emotional/psychological concoction a Narcissist can, and will, evoke in you. I find naming these Lovecraftian hodgepodges ...”appropriately” does help a lot to more fully acknowledge and process them more fully. Exceptionally complex states of conflicting emotions, coping mechanisms, and perceptual conflicts.

I listen to a lot of narc videos!! But this one is by far the best one I’ve heard. Only people who have been through narcissistic abuse can really understand it. Your videos have helped me more than you know. Thank you so much for this channel ❤

It was months with nothing, just a thought- "I had a marriage I had to end"- but nothing more than that. Life has moved on- life is very good. And then, triggered by nothing, the tears start.

My neighbors did this to me. Couldn’t for the life of me work out what was going on. They are currently fully engaged in the smear campaign.Because I have gone no contact. I just don’t acknowledge them. It’s difficult because I am in a terraced house. Your videos are amazing 😻. I’m really getting a lot of benefit from them. I’m sitting here with the realisation that I have been being abused by people I didn’t even know, like someone who is in an abusive romantic relationship. It’s been criminal, but how can you prove emotional abuse. Thank you 🙏🏻.

I finally accepted the fact that it's a waste of time to try to reconcile or come to any resolution Just find the peace within and gain the mindset who cares about what they say or want they are just having childish temper tantrums You have to leave them yo themselves as you would a child having a fit

I think the name of your channel is very clever it can be years before figureing out we have being talking to a character that is mirroring what it thinks what you want to see covert this should be tought in school

Always Spot on with these Videos. As long as your bringing them to the Narcissist Round. I will always be sitting in and listening to You. 15 Years LTR. I had to Walk Away from what became a Toxic Narcissist Relationship. That really Hurt. Now you have to grieve the person that you thought you knew or that you thought would be the partner to fit into your Dream World. Big Sorry on that notion. Sure you see Red Flags but your still thinking I got this. It will work out if I just keep doing more to prove myself to the one that is Future Faking Me, Bread Crumbing Me, The one that is taking me for Granted and Using. And then they get bored and your always trying to lift theses people out of there own Shit Hole. That we did not put them in, in the First place. 8 Months No Contact. Your left Ruminating. Like it never Ends. I Walked Away from her, But I can feel her Discard. I can see the Devil Smirk on her face. Like she had already been grooming her New Supply. Gee, I hope he is a Narcissist just like her. Can't talk to Family and or Friends about being a relationship with a Narcissit Partner. They don't get it sorry they just don't unless they had experienced that Nightmare. Still can't believe I walked away from. The Sun seems a lot Brighter. See you in 2022. Do not go back to a Narcissistic Person if you value your own life. Life can be GREAT With Out Them They never Loved you. Don't kid yourself.

You put all this better than most professionals. Thank you and God bless you

These are some really good points and great observations that psychologists usually forget to mention, or even lack experience with. Great video.

I cried the whole time because what you said is so confronting and exactly what you said. It hurts

Narcissists gives a shit daammmm about their victims,they have STRONG backup plan to move on without any gulit or remorse,they have brand new entire range of harem and develop a totally different personality(New character)...ONLY GOD KNOWS ABOUT THEM...HUMANS CANNOT DETECT THIER PERFECT MASK

NO! NO WAY! NEVER EVER!

Everything you put out is so helpful. But I absolutely needed to hear the part about showing your children they have a choice to leave a miserable relationship. Thank you 💜

Excellent insight. Thankyou. You seriously understand how immense this is.

great video..However, the background music is a little distracting.

Peter Acrat 2 weeks ago (edited) 👉2:00 - Dark Silence Vs Light Silence: 🚩Silence from the 'Darkness' is Intended to project 'pain and punishment' Outwardly toward another to fuel greater Division, Separation and Conflict. Destruction of others. ☮Silence from the 'Light' is Intended to restore 'Love and Peace' Inwardly to oneself to fuel greater Integrity, Unity and Harmony. Restoration of Self.

Thank you!! Added to my morning affirmations playlist 🙏🏾💪🏾

Back for the sixth time. The addiction to sex is worse than crack.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wisdom. I have been trying to find a channel on this subject for a while and you are the only one that I feel is talking strait to me about my exact situation. I am going to hold on to every word you said . You have validated me finally! ♥️♥️♥️♥️🙏

Your explanation and presentation are so clear and on point for me, and also very kind and compassionate. Thank you for making this. It's a gift.

They blame you for ruining the relationship. When, it was actually them. Then they leave you holding the bag of all the financial responsibilities too. While they just skip away.

Thanks for the advice.

Thanks I came here to firm up my resolve to stay away and this video helped a lot

Thank you so much for this video Wowwww you really truly understand!!! I’m unfortunately going back (AGAIN)Tuesday and I’m very worried Part of me doesn’t want to and part of me just wants this pain to go away I hate this This has been the most painful expierence of my entire life ‘‘This is not the first time I have went back either” I’m very very traumabonded I have been away from him for almost 5 months but I’m tired of living in hell and the pain and struggles I really am depressed and the death of the relationship is so heart breaking Sooo devastating I just want it back to how it was when I first met him

I really enjoyed listening to you🌈

You are doing excellent work💫

My parents are narcissist it was painful leaving but it had to be done.

The narcissist enjoys punishing you for soo long in the devaluation stage that eventually with help of videos like this and books on their condition you just fall out of love with them and see everything they do for what it is which is a mis reaction. You no longer wish to live and entertain the narcissists imaginary reality.

I really appreciate your videos !

Thank You so much, you are a great help!!

thank you for understanding 🌿🕊 you explain this perfectly

Outstanding Information !Thank you so very much for your important work .Truly helpful Portsmouth, NH .USA.🙏💪

Thank You for sharing this video with us all.

Beautiful video 🎯🙌

🙏

I was never with the narcissist

💖🙏🏻💖

What is the music in the back ? I know it from somewhere!!!

The bond with this npd sister 💕 was not strong, it was hard but my other npd sister is harder, i haven't ended with her but i only speak to her briefly, i didn't grow up with this other one, but she came into my life much more after a severw illness that nearly killed me, she was a huge help, whereas the other one didn't help at al , i feel guilty now, but i can't allow anyone to abuse me, i went no contact with my mother b4 it was fashionable!

Ughhhhh

She bragged about what she did to make it so i cant move on literally everything was a set! u are forced literally to take the blame they tell everyone its u and they play on every flaw u have or mistake what they do is intentional in everyway they play u like a piece of shit!!! And some how they get people to side with them i truly i believe because am not attarctive and she kinda is makes me not believed or loved and wanted and its always lies

It s not problem 😂

What if it's your mother? Is Running away is a coward act? Or to fight braverly?

Let them think whatever they want... At the end of the day, slam the door and keep it shut. 😊

I appreciate you and all your videos ❤🎉 thank you