Contrary to popular belief, he's not always in the mood. Would you be offended if your man told you, “No honey, not tonight”? Tamar, Tamera, Loni, Jeannie and Adrienne dish on how they’d react, in this Girl Chat.
I don't understand why it's so hard for them to believe that a man may choose to not have sex right away. I agree with Tamera, as usual. There are men out there who practice celibacy and want a meaningful relationship that is not based on sex.
I agree, there are more people who r waiting to have sex r practicing celibacy and not just because of their morals or religious reasons and I think that people who r choosing to having sex should put some RESPECK on this decision without making them feel something is wrong with them, if they don't agree with it find someone else but don't label or judge them cause u r choosing to do something different. #I ain't gon say it no moe😜
+Empressive AMEN! It's true, I think Tamar has just met so many duds and not enough good guys, which is probably why she has the attitude she has, but she always acts as if her opinion is the right one, no one else could ever possibly be right. I really truly don't like her, there are very few times when I actually like her, she really angers me most of the time.
It's funny to me that we talk about having men respecting our wishes and no means no, but you turn around and tell guys they might be gay if they want to slow down? that's just awful to me
And then we keep perpetuating the lower standards that this society has about sex and eventually people rethink morals...it's just a bad downward spiral. People taking on that mindset is why celibacy/abstinence is made out to be a crazy and impossible feat when in actuality it ultimately gets you with the right person for life instead of one night and a string of heartbreaks.
Doesn't matter who says no, the man or the woman, if you are just not feeling the other person or are just not in the moment then YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY NO!!!!
Wait, so Tamar and Loni are trying to say that if a man turns down sex with you, that he's either not into you or gay?? That's total BS and sounds ridiculous.
I actually respect Adrienne for sharing that story, not a lot of people would and she kept it real 100%. People need to stop with these double standards and accept peoples decisions whether male or female!
As always I agree with Tamera and I also agree with Jeannie. There are some men who are not obsessed with sex and sometimes they just don't want to have sex. Tamar can sometimes be immature and irrational.
+MsBrooklyn11232 I agree. To say 'something in the milk isn't clean' because a man wants to get to know a woman before sleeping with her is so immature and small-minded.
This is such a double standard. There are alot of men who may be virgins, celibate or want to slow down for that special someone and we need to allow men to be comfortable in that right without implying he is gay.
Poor Adrienne; she's trying to keep her cool in. I really don't agree with Loni's and Tamar's perspective this time. Some guys actually do want to "slow down" without any ulterior motive
I gotta give Loni and Tamar the side eye this time. I mean, I am so tired of that old tired ass "Men Will Be Men" mentality! Just because a guy doesn't want to have sex right away doesn't mean he's gay or that there's something wrong with him. Not all men want sex right away. Some men value their bodies as well as the relationship they have with you more than getting physical, so much so that they are willing to wait as long as possible to prove that they are about emotional commitment first and foremost. Stop putting people in boxes. We men, as well as women, are NOT monoliths. We are all complex, diverse, and, most of all, unique beings with different perceptions, perspectives and preferences. STOP pigeonholing people and perceiving them through outdated society-influenced biases and start accepting people for who THEY show and tell you THEY ARE, not who you think, would rather or have been told they are!
That's so narrow minded to think that if a man doesn't want to have sex when you want to means he's either gay or getting it somewhere else. Tamar is dead wrong.
She said the first part and implied the second. But even if you disagree, she SAID that if a man doesn't want sex from you when you offer it to him he doesn't want you. Which is still narrow minded.
+Jordan Taylor you are sooooo right!!!! it such bullshit to say "oh yea he must be gay because he didn't want to sleep with me or that he doesn't want to be with you" if he didn't he would not take the time for you this is so sexist and women want equal rights how are we gonna get that when they talk like this???
I think she is being REAL in her own right, ITS about five of them views of the topic being discussed ,, just because it doesn't sound politically correct doesn't mean it aint REAL
I'm really disappointed in Tamar and Loni's reaction to Adrienne's story. I can't stand when people act like that when it comes to men and sex. They act as if men are just these animals who their only duty to have sex with any and everything. We women say we want a man who is about more than just sex but when we get one, we treat him like Tamar and Loni and act as if something is wrong with him. Then we tend to complain about men supposedly having more sexual freedom but I feel like its contradicting because we act as if that's all men are about. I think men deal with plenty of double standards like women do but they aren't broadcasted and this is definitely one of them.
+Cakeandsum Rosesplease You said it! Exactly! Double Standards are everywhere. Sometimes Loni & Tamar create a peer pressure environment. I like Jeannie cause she sticks by her opinions and is level headed.
The funny thing is that out of all of them you just know Loni and Tamar get it the least so its just like sour sour grapes, kinda like that conversation about how long the difference between a quickie and making love is, and Adrienne was talking about how when you make love it can go on for hours and the least time would be about 40 mins or something like that, and Tamar and Loni were just :/ like Loni laughed like it was a ridiculous notion and Tamar was just there with her stank face....I mean like if your men barely last five minutes like some horny teenagers than thats just you and i highly doubt either of you has had as much experience with men as Adrienne so dafuq do you know.
+Ariana Jonhson ... she's messing with boys all her life, and she don't know to react when Gentlemen comes into her life, treats her with respect and his intentions are genuine...
I think its sad and even backwards that a person no matter male or female wanting to build a good relationship before having sex would be considered gay or playing games....Maybe not all men are stupid and shallow like that..I would LOVE to find a man that wanted to move slow in that area of our relationship. I'd prefer it!
Tamar sometimes has a very one sided view and can only see things based on her experiences rather opening her mind to another point of view. It is possible for a man to be respectful and not want to go there so early.
Not all men are the same. Some actually respect the act of having sex and want to wait. Women should know and understand that. He shouldn't automatically want to have sex with you just because he's a man and you're a woman. And you shouldn't feel offended when he turns you down.
+John Cruz an abusive relationship has nothing to do with the fact that she's so closed minded that she thinks man has to be on the a closeted homosexual to want to take it slow.
+DeAndre Johnson I'll have to watch it again cuz I thought she meant that people withhold sex because they want something and that's the only reason anyone would say they wanted to slow things down.
+John Cruz after Loki said that and she wanted to cover her ass. That's what "something in the milk ain't clean" means and she actually said around the 3:00 mark.
+Tiffany-Kelly Fritz She definitely was...and the fact that he was 35 makes sense. When people are younger I could see them rushing and not saying that but as a man gets older and still isn't with anybody they wanna start trying something new. Being 35 and wanting a relationship, I could easily see a man saying something like that. Just cuz Tamar never dealt with that shouldn't mean it's hard to believe especially at that age.
Goes both ways, of course guys should be able to say it without offending the girl. If a guy wants to wait because he wants a real relationship with you, well personally I would respect that a lot. No problem with waiting.
Well wait til marriage first of all. That's it. How many times do we need to go over this? Sex is more than just the physical. It's SPIRITUAL. It's the deepest connection that you can ever have with someone and people just go around giving it out like some Girl Scout cookies.
+Danielle A. It's more than just sleeping with somebody and sharing bodily fluids. It's a deeper connection involving emotions and sharing a part of u. The person you've slept with may have also slept with several other partners, so you're ultimately sleeping with them too if thay makes sense
+Danielle A. Spiritual is an idea. I personally don't believe it at all, but I do believe that sex is an important connection. Waiting until marriage is irrelevant to whether you connect with someone sexually. It's an important part of being with someone. Chemistry matters to some people and not everyone is interested in marriage. There are other perspectives on the subject than just yours.
This happened to my guy coworker,he didn't even know this girl & she called him gay. Because he "turned down this million dollar pussy". so rude & disrespectful. Thank God my coworker is a gentleman
I've learned not to pay attention to what Tamar says when it comes to these kind of conversation. The thing she says just smh lol let me not say it... I just stick with Tamera and Jeannie's opinions.
If someone doesn't want to have sex why is that such a problem? No means no for EVERYBODY! Like I love this show but honestly they really are so hypocritical.
They are just being real about a double standard that exists! It's not just them that react this way. It's pretty common to expect men to be down whenever given an opportunity. But of course, when someone says no, it means no.
To be clear, unlike Tamar, I believe plenty of men out there want to take things slow in favor of getting to know someone. I am just talking about the initial reaction of women getting offended if they want to move forward and the guy says no
Francine Morris True, I understand. I usually side with Tamera when it comes to double standards. But I can understand where they Come from with initial reactions.
The woman in the text message was waaaaay out of line. If he doesn't want it he doesn't want it. No need to justify it or pressure it. NONE of that. End of story.
Cant believe Tamar said "something in the milk aint clean!" and Adrienne responded with "it was clean." loooool don't know if anyone caught on to that but talk about getting sexual.
Umm.. If you have morals and values and respect your body , then you should not let others or being judged for being a virgin ,, force you into having sex and you are not ready !
Women like Tamar annoy me. I've done the casual random sex thing and I didn't like it. It's not unusual for a man to reject meaningless sex. To assume a man is gay because he rejects you sexually is so petty.
As a married woman, I like hearing Tamera and Jeanie's perspective on things. Maybe if Tamar could express herself without neck rolling and lip smacking, I would take her more serious.
Ugh. I'm worried impressionable people will watch this and think there's something wrong with them for saying no. Never, EVER feel bad about saying no. Whether you're male, female, in a long term relationship or it's your first time. You have every right to say no. No means no and there's nothing wrong with you.
Me and my fiance enjoy each others company so much that we get physical after 2 years in relationship, and now we even love and attached to each other so much. I agreed with knowing him/her personality first. But again, its just how i take it.
I met a man that wanted to wait, he wanted to take his time and get to know me. He was not running game or sleeping with anyone else he just simply wanted to take it slow and now four years later we're still happily in love.
ONCE AGAIN I LOVE JEANNIE for nuancing the debate here and stressing how important consent is no matter what gender/age you are. I agree with Tamera, it's just a different perspective. What can also happen is you decide to take things slow but then you get caught up in the moment and bam. But there are also people who intentionally play hard to get and I don't think there's anything wrong with it unless you're leading someone on and giving them false hope.
See this is where true Feminism comes to play. I believe that if a man doesn't want to have sex then he shouldn't be forced to. He can still be attracted to you and no want to have sex. As a women I say this now: "If a woman or man does not want to have sex they don't have to. I don't care if you, yourself is horny, if someone says not right now, the mean NOT RIGHT NOW." That's equality, that's Feminism.
why is it so hard to believe that not all men want to jump straight to sex. I know plenty of guys who save sex for last. of course they want it, but they hold out for their reasons.
Adrienne reminds me of myself sometimes. Confidence is key. she's a grown woman. I can't wait for her to carry herself more in the manner of one, in a cool and collected manner ^-^
+Bianca V I say the same thing. They really sound like ignorant jump offs. They was the type who let dudes use them b/c of no self esteem, that is why they don't understand a man wanting to get to know you first. Adrienne take your pointers from Jeannie & Tamara w marriage. They both saw the wait first in their husband, that is why they can relate. Just cause Tamar is married don't mean it's not easy. The way Vince is disturbed by her "ghettoness", he seem like he have, or had low self esteem and was glad someone like Tamar showed interest. He probably thought he couldn't get better. I love some Tamar, but she letting her ghettoness get the best of her and its getting annoying. I like when she give key points of how her mother raised her, like Tamara.
Yes Tamar yes 😡 it absolutely drives me crazy, when I say I'm tired my husband gives me an attitude but when I'm willing and ready and he says he's tired I'm supposed to be caring and understanding. Double standards are too real😬
Social media and society give so much attention to the unfaithful men and women that they make the faithful men and women sound like a fantasy. There are a lot of GOOD men and women out here who genuinely want to live a financially stable, drama free and happy life without having sex all the time! People keep forgetting that sex is just PART of a successful relationship it doesn't validate the WHOLE relationship!
Sooooooooooo,........ Let me get this straight to see if I understand clearly......! If a woman says "no" to a man for having sex is ok and normal, but if u man does it it automatically means that's he's "gay" , I don't get it?🤔🤔🤔🤔
+MartianBlues then can u explain to me what was the meaning of the expression of Loni and Tamar then?? Coz that's the feeling that I'm having😗...and that is what they meant...... I'm confused, let me know😉
+MartianBlues Yes they did because although Loni and Tamar didn't say it literally Adrienne picked up on it and said "yea thats what I was thinking, which is people saying he isn't straight" followed by Tamar saying "yea its one of the two.."the two meaning. he is gay or not into you.
Not all men are sex obsessed. You could miss out on a great guy who wants to build a relationship if you keep thinking like Tamar and Loni. And a good man will 100% respect a woman's choice whether they choose to have sex or not. There are more important things in life/relationships than sex.
i've been in a relationship for 11 years and i can agree the first 3-4 times that he said that he didn't feeel like it i got hurt, sad i think i even cried...but then i realized with time that if i don't feel like it sometimes then offcourse he can also not feel like it sometimes.
I would find it disrespectful if a female assumed a man was gay because he didn't want to rush into it. I think when men have been with a lot of women and then come to the point where they're ready to settle, they sometimes don't want to rush into things, especially if they respect the woman they're with :). However I'm talking from situations I've heard about, personally I've only ever had one partner and that's my husband and that's the exact same for him.
I think it can be possible for a man to want to wait, but that should be said within the first or second date, not when the woman is pressing up against you. Like declare that during a conversation so she can then make a decision on whether not she wants to wait with you. Communication is key.
agree ... But didn't bother Jeanie and Tamera both wait before marrying their now husbands? think they've mentioned it before... sounds like Tamar forgot
but i also agree with tamera because when a guy says he doesnt want to have sex with a woman we go "he must be gay" but we don't do that for women. the worst we get in that case is "she's playing hard to get."
1st. I cringe everytime Tamar talks about her and Vince doing it. Ew.. And why she gotta yell like that?? I can't take her lately. And that opinion of hers is BULL!!! A guy CAN take it slowly... Just because they didn't do it with you, doesn't me they won't take it slow with others.. 2nd.. These girl need to stop kissing Tamar's ass!! They always agree with her! Especially Adrienne
It is kind of sad how women are quick to label men as gay when they are not in a rush to have sex. Like how there is pressure for women, there is pressure for men as well. Tamar didn't know what that man went through in his past relationship. Maybe he took things too quickly in his past relationships and wanted to go a different path with Adrienne because he liked her a lot. Nethertheless, i enjoyed this discussion. SN: Tamar kind of reminds me of Vivica Fox in the face today.
no Tamar actually there are guys out there that are respectful. if he wasn't clean as she tried to insinuate then his dirty ass would want to sleep with her. mind you there are very few good men out there not many but they are out there. and no doesn't mean they are gay. why does that broad always think her opinions are the only ones that should be had.
Ikr!! She lives in some fantasy world where men are like sex robots 24/7... Especially weird because she just said a minute ago that she herself is sometimes too tired...Yet she doesn't realize that a guy could be too.. Like ???
I give Adrienne props for keeping that smile pasted on her face the entire time during that exchange with Tamar. You could actually see the point when she caught on to what Tamar was insinuating.
