It's time that employers with employees used psychometric and empathy tests to stop narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths being placed in supervisory and management positions over others.
In sweden where unions has something to say, promotions has to be approved by unions before taken into effect. In practice this means the union calls team member ad asks them if they approve the promotion. If someone or all says no, they will stop it. It is not fault proof, but I think it helps. My father had a nasty conflict with a manager, and it got escalated. Union stepped in an mediated. 5 years later this manager got another offer as an even higher manager in the same company, but the conflict with my father wasn't the only one, there were more people harassed by him. So this time the union said stop, they had a track record of this guy being an absolute arse hole. and that put his career to an end.
@@MikeKay1978 The Neoliberal profit driven, anti-union and anti-worker culture of privatisation and the free market with associated management culture has been promoted in the UK since 1979.
@@safirahmed That is fine as long as they pay a premium for that neoliberal setup. For a worker all changes has resulted in additional risk, with no financial compensation for that risk. it means that while companies can run much more easily hire and fire people as they go, the risk workers have to take decreases the purchasing power. Companies have to do it that way otherwise they cannot remain competetive. and they cannot remain competetive because of the hidden hand, the state. Yes state and taxes is the root cause. The state sits there quitely pitting people against companies, when in fact it is the state that is the major villain.
I've personally experienced several of these toxic boss behaviors, specifically: -Being berated in front of co-workers during staff meetings -Providing little or no training in what I'm supposed to do and yet at the same time... -Being extremely micro-managing and telling me specifically what to do and how to do it, after failing to provide me sufficient direction -Lack of boundaries (emails on weekend mornings, texts in the evenings and on weekends telling me that something needed to be done right away) -Enabling bullying by other co-workers who were deemed "valuable" to the company I could go on. I just find it astonishing that some people think this is the way to treat people.
I find it astonishing that these toxic bullies have jobs at all, nevermind jobs where they manage other people. It speaks to very bad senior management.
Absentee/Helicoptering/Toxic/Authoritarian bosses are rampant now. Seems to me, companies need to be setting higher standards and raising the bar on what makes a good leader vs shoving wrong people into a role to hover over the “boots on the ground” people, in hopes of simply passing the noise off to someone else.
Yep. 1. Provided little to no training or guidance 2. Ideas are shot down or ridiculed 3. Little to no support 5. No one-on-ones and not included in meetings 6. No collaboration only mandates Mostly, the culture is bad.
Oh my God, my last job was so much this. I thought they were just shorthanded but the more I learned about my boss the more I realized she just didn't want to deal with me AT ALL. I was used in my previous jobs to being left alone to have an degree of autonomy but this one just didn't care at all. And she was truly one of the more weaselly people I've dealt with in my working life.
This was an amazing watch. I just QUIT a job with a toxic boss in a production environment. I'm now doing something else and it's amazing how much less stress I have going on. I'm so much happier.
My former supervisor at my last job was literally incapable of offering any kind of praise or encouragement - ''always critical'' was just her thing, like, in life.
My toxic supervisor was exactly like yours, telling me that "we write in red ink around here", and always changing my purchase order quantities with a lecture. She criticized my wardrobe and my short hair cut, calling it "butch". One of her former staff told me she threw a stapler at him. She had a bad dandruff problem, and left a trail of dandruff. I gave her a bottle of dandruff shampoo for Christmas, which shocked her. I don't think any of her previous employees gave her a present. LOL
@@user-gh8tq3me3m She thought she was the Queen. The executives compained about her for years. She was a V.P.. When they fired her, she refused to leave. Security was outside her door, waiting to escort her out. She called her lawyer. She came to work for a month, and sat in her office, behind closed doors, no longer working. She demanded a retirement party and the company retiree medical benefits, which she was not entitled to, because she was just under 55 years of age. The company gave her a retirement dinner and the retiree medical benefits. It was surreal, but Good Riddance to her.
I’m definitely in a toxic work environment: •I’ve had 4 different supervisors in 1 year •I can’t pushback on additional work assignments. I’ve brought up numerous times where I’m at capacity due to bandwidth with current engagements, but the work gets assigned anyway. • I regularly experience unclear expectations and absolutely no direction from my supervisor. I cannot reach out for questions. I’ve been told to come with solutions first before asking. If i knew the solution I wouldn't ask…I’ve asked for specific examples of when to bring solutions versus when to reach out for support. As expected, I didn’t receive a clear response on this. •I’m unable to achieve work life balance. I’ve brought up times where I’ve worked into the 10pm hour (due to those additional work assignments that I attempted to pushback on). I was told the following: “this is the busy season, this is how it is and you have to just deal with it. You can’t always stop working at 5pm”. Additionally, i wasn’t allowed to comp/flex the weekend hours that I worked. •I experience zero support from my supervisor when they’re copied on emails where I’m dealing with unresponsiveness or need to escalate emails from key stakeholders. These individuals are never held accountable, yet all the blame is regularly placed on me. My exit plan is already in motion, and I won’t look back after I’ve left this hell on earth called work.
Is the reason your bosses don't have answers because they are not qualified? Have you've gone over their head with the same questions. But of course have proof that your boss was no help.
You forgot about bosses who play favorites or assign different rules for different people !! That is also toxic behavior. Please cover this in another video. 🙏
My last boss was what I call a bungee cord boss. You never see or hear any response from emails/calls for days or weeks, then suddenly drops in, change everything that we were making progress on, cancels/assigns projects and springs back out of there and we are left with the disaster to clean up. This type of boss doesn't realize that they are the obstacle to getting things done. Like flying a rocket halfway to the moon and then get re-routed to Mars and then asks why is it taking so long?
Yep I had that for a very short period of time it was really frustrating he even came and rearranged my desk for me after I finally got things done being a new person he physically started moving around everything and he took my notebook and started taking notes really aggressively about what I should be doing it was very childish and manipulative that made him look like he was actually on top of the situation but he wasn't
I've heard this kind of boss called a pelican boss. Just like a pelican they will swoop in out of nowhere, unannounced and uninvited, squawk and make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, and then fly away leaving you to deal with the mess. 😆
I've had pretty much every type of boss as someone who is about 15 years post college but the worst was one who told me I'd have to leave my morals at the door to do well at the job. Was a shady company and I left after 4 months. Took that company off my resume and LinkedIn.
I had a similar boss like this he would always tell me this business is extremely dirty i worked for a year there . They way they committed fraud to costumers was outstanding I talked to my wife felt extremely awful then I found another job and quit on the spot no 2 weeks notice for them took it out my resume too.
Has anyone ever noticed that those with Narcissistic personality disorder seem to float to the top? They exude false confidence due to narcissism, and literally never accept accountability for mistakes and blame shift onto others.
Wow, my former employer hit every single one of these points. I stayed there way too long. It's definitely refreshing being in a workplace now that doesn't check any of these boxes, let alone all of them
Same! I worked 17 years for a small company where my boss (wife of the owner) was like this. The pay and benefits were top notch, which is why I stayed so long.
@@lovelyletter7460 I stayed at my final job for almost nineteen years. Only five of those years were pleasant. I endured toxic and backstabbing supervisor divas. The two benefits... 1) I watched them leave the company and 2) I walked away with a lump sum pension payment.
I had a manager who at least once a week would stand by my desk, in full view of the other employees, and ask me for the status of an order while his fists were clenched to his side and his muscles flexed, like he was steaming mad and ready for a fight. By the way, we had an order tracking system that I updated perfectly so he could have checked that.
The best way to put these people in their place is to get extremely good at what you do and let others know as well and have an abundance mindset where if they decide to let you go, it will be ok. I have been in this position before and I simply just told them that if I am not performing and doing what I am supposed to then they can hand me my papers right then and there. Pretty sure I have a target on my back but it is all good, I can always find something else. My main thing is not being disrespected and taking it. I have seen this time and time again and people just take it. I have been in put in positions where I am being singled out in major meetings and I just give them my take on it in a professional manner. That throws them off cause they expect a different reaction. I also completely disconnect on my days off... if they can't wait, they can pay me extra.
Oh yeah. Some of them are in it for the power -- which is pretty pathetic since that speaks volumes about their normal life -- but most of them are fearful of their own positions and decide that they need to lock you down so they can keep their own jobs. Which is indeed quite sad since it speaks volumes about how they can't do their job, much less anything regarding managing people.
Move goals frequently Micro management Bosses not available Giving negative feedback in public then private Not getting clear direction Your ideas clearly turndown or take credit for your accomplishment Dont take responsibility and can throw you under bus No professional boundaries
Happened to me today. She told me to look at her and to listen to her. The result is I’m even more confused as to what she wants from me. She was talking about trees and forest. 😂
I’d reply without hesitation: “I’d rather not” and let everyone laugh. You might get fired, reassigned or perhaps experience a psychotic meltdown of epic proportions from someone you expected to be more professional. Either way, it would be worth it.
One thing I’ve learned is people you work with don’t really care what’s going on in your personal life for the most part. There are exceptions but for the most part, it’s a business, not a charity. I’ve always been annoyed by how bosses and coworkers will act sympathetic and tell you to take as much time as you need after losing a close one, but then after a day or two they expect you to go right back to everything as if nothing happened and almost seem passive-aggressively annoyed at you for being behind on stuff. Your coworkers are not your friends/family. It took me a minute to really understand that.
my wife works in a toxic work place, there was even an investigation(the country where i live has a ministry of work that is supposed to check into to these kinds of things and depending on their findings the business can get fined for a toxic work place/have to make changes). She even helped lead the investigation but her coworkers have basically normalized working in a toxic environment and were disinterested in participating, so the investigation led to nothing. The stupidest part is that this investigation was last year and this year its gotten even worse. Fortunately my wife can mostly avoid her bosses and coworkers, but some of the stories she hears about are so ridiculous and could have been avoided if her coworkers actually honestly participated in the investigation. I think this highlights a problem, which is people normalizing toxic behaviors. Not just at work, but everywhere. If you don't stand up for yourself, nobody will.
From the very beginning of my new career job I was so excited and then I sensed a bunch of weird things happening just to me individually and I think other people knew how to cope with my boss but no one told me I never got to know anybody that well I reported him a few times in a way that I was asking if certain things were normal to HR and they were taking notes but I sensed the things were wrong long story short I ended up being let go by my boss who said I didn't know how to do my job and HR got involved and gave me 2 months severance I would have rather have the job but I had no way of knowing if I would have ended up leaving anyway so at least I got compensated for the way my boss was acting
@@gigid9606 That happened to me as well, I was in a place where I wasnt given clear direction on what to do. I was told to try this and try that and everything I tried was wrong. Also, things that I did that werent done exactly the way that my manager expected them to be done were considered to be mistakes and were reported directly to executives. One day the executives sat me down and basically told me they couldnt teach me the basics and that was the last straw... I've been doing this for 10 years and now all of a sudden I'm told I dont even know the basics. I resigned after a month, you are basically setup to fail in that environment and nothing you do will be good enough. The company also has a high turnover as another person from my team that's been working there longer also resigned. Two people resigning at the same time in a 4 man team, thats not a good look.
I have a boss that micromanges, but is never around when needed. She steals people's ideas and passes them off as her own. Also, she has favorites that she does not hold to the same standards.
My boss also owner of the company is a liar, self centered, condescending and narcissist (called by customers) blames others for his mistakes, doesn't want to admit he makes mistakes or that hes wrong, thinks he's the only person in the company that works hard (he doesnt), doesn't want to listen to others opinions to improve the company, calls during day offs, favors his daughter (also work in the company) even when she jeopardizes the company at one point, and never communicates with his employees like he's doing his own thing! I also get underpaid. I'm sorry. I really need to vent and it's draining me emotionally and physically. I'm quitting this job once I find a new one
About leaving in the middle of a meeting, I did the exact same thing. Performance meeting with the team lead, supposed to be 15-30 min to go over the good and need for more focus, but in the middle, a regular phone call comes in family, and I left after two minutes of impatience. Indeed, people should not be afraid to start the mental journey to decide to leave as soon as possible and stop the denial.
Fortunately, I’ve only one toxic boss situation where my Supervisor berated me numerous times in front off my fellow peers in a loud tone. I guess every one around got the message. Worst part about it is that I had to act professional.
That happened to me as well. Sadly, it was in front of the whole office. The people in the office apologized for my boss (I don't think he was capable of caring for others). I knew at that point I had to leave.
That happened to me when I was in school. A toxic 666 teacher berated me in front of the school and class on three occasions. The final occasion backfired. She didn't realize she was having a meltdown in front of the class. She vanished during the school vacation period. The problem was that the principal was her very good friend, so how could anyone complain about her?
This video couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. I literally just got out of a performance appraisal where my boss gave me a slightly above average score. I don’t know if this was the right thing to do or not, but I had to defend myself throughout the entire appraisal. I had to constantly remind him that I was doing so much for the team and the company as a whole that I was working overtime practically every single day to get things done. I was picking up projects that I never got any help or support for, (and that nobody wanted to do) and his critique was that I was hardly available to answer phone calls or take tickets for smaller issues that were going on. However, this is all due to the fact that I had taken on SO MANY projects that I was doing all by myself. I’m just stunned right now, like it’s literally a lose lose situation for me at this point.
If you have to defend yourself, your boss is not being very supportive. One thing is pointing areas where you can grow, a different one is negating your actual performance. I hope it gets better for you.
Thank you uacbpa! So true, he never really gave me any indication of what or how I can do better. And you’re absolutely right Rob. I thought by taking on so much work, that I would be helping my boss and my company to achieve more. I also wanted to continue to grow and learn more so that I can become even better in my career. I thought this would translate to me climbing up within the company. Now I know that that’s not the case. Definitely going to start polishing my resume.
My boss is funny and brings a lot of laughter. However, she also makes fun of me and others in front of the group. I know she's "just joking" but it rubs me the wrong way. I'm actually fairly new so for her to have the boldness to be so outspoken amazes me. Maybe I'm being too sensitive I don't know.
I had a boss that was never involved early in my career. It was definitely a handicap because he knew nothing about what I did and I even received an undeserved bad review. Minor mistakes overshadowed the mountain of work I accomplished.
I'm really good at what I do, which is why I am often given the "problem projects" to fix what other people screwed up. It takes twice as long to undo their mistakes and then make it presentable than it would have taken to do it from scratch. Because of this, I end up getting reprimanded for being "too slow." Right now, I'm having to take extra time away from my task to compose an email every day detailing exactly what I'm doing on a minute by minute basis, so that they can figure out how best to "deal with me." This is after spending the last year and a half creating templates and writing code for their programs (which is not in my job description) at NO ADDITIONAL COST to them. I have yet to hear anyone in upper management praise my work, thank me, or even mention my name. Needless to say, I feel very exploited and unappreciated while they are ACTIVELY going after me for my low production numbers. I don't want to look for another job due to health issues, so I am terrified that this will culminate in me losing my job in one way or another. I don't think you mentioned this particular situation, but to me it feels very toxic.
I've got a boss that just finds fault in everything I do just because he obviously doesn't like me. it just comes across as imbecilic and I'm glad he isn't my immediate supervisor. I just ignore him. He may be my boss but to me he's just a loser.
Thank you for this video! This resonated with me and my experiences. After my husband died, our small business we ran died too. Last year I got an Insurance License here in Texas, and have attempted to work for 4 different companies. Two I never made a cent at, and two Agents that were so impatient and critical of me daily, that I couldn't emotionally handle it. Aside from temp work, and low quality low pay positions with Managers that are non-communicative, I am at a loss as to my professional future. Mix in not fitting the culture, and not being vaccinated for covid, I haven't had a pay check in 3 months. Tough times!
This year, I spent just over 3 months working at a smaller company and dealt with an operations manager like this along with the two managers under him who did little to support me or give me unsolicited feedback. This was after leaving a, larger company that restructured, now I'm at a great job that functions more "normally". Man, that 3 months just left me feeling horrible.
Well said. My current lead at work is one who tends to take things for granted and expects me to be available for work 24/7. I often got his calls on work matters during my off work time and off days for non urgent matters and he had even requests me to cancel my leaves and come back to work for something non urgent. When I put in effort he does not recognise and scold me hard for even thr slightest mistake. Nowadays I just block his contacts during my off days... Anyway I don't intend to work for him for long.
I worked a temporary armed federal contract post. Mainly in 2022 to spring 2023. The security firm mgr only met me 1x. Once for about 20min. He used text, email most of the time. The problem was the guy acted like a 14yr old girl. I seriously thought at 1 point he was either a alcoholic or a coke head. He'd text me at 630am 🤔 . Send texts like- wrong number, email me only, stop using the cell number, use this app only, multiple people see these texts. 🤷🏻♂️
As far as the boss that doesn't respect work/life boundaries and calls you during off time? I just don't answer the call or text. You'll catch me when I'm on the clock.
I work in IT and thank you for this. It let me know my current employer is very toxic and now I don't feel bad rage applying to any other similar IT job.
If you stand up for your professional integrity and leave for a position with a different company, the Toxic Boss will still attempt to portray you as responsible for everything going wrong. Just because you are gone they won't stop being a shitheel.
True, in my skitty toxic workplace the employees were mouths_hitting over one guy that left before i came and have continued when i left few years later. One day i have checked his profile- the problem was he has seen them through out immediately and was many levels above the average mouthsh_itter.
You just described my VP boss and how she is treating me. Micromanaging me, eavesdrops on all my conservations, subtlety puts me down and praises herself every time we meet, secretly listed my job and hired the person over me and yet hasn’t fired me yet…rolls her eyes or is critical in meetings, …just miserable but I haven’t been let go. I’m 60 and this is a high paying job so I am working hard despite her .
I just came from a company that had the worst management. The cro and vp didn’t have the experience that the staff did. They micromanaged, lied, stole ideas and basically BS’d their way through the job. Everyone knew it. It takes one person to ruin a culture. CRO hired all of his friends who took reps away from actually doing their job. Overt favoritism and would set his favorites up for success and others to fail. He would lie behind the scenes and act like he was supporting you to HR and upper management. He knew how to play the game. What’s ironic is that he claims to be so religious. I am also noticing that younger males are getting positions in mgmt that they aren’t qualified for and it shows
It took me a while to come to terms but leadership in general where I work at suffers from many of these. I actually think micromanaging is one of the worst, especially so if tue boss is a master delegator who is always asking to be updated about projects but never steps in to actively get involved.
One sign after another, I can’t tell you who I was before starting and how anxiety riddled I became. Low and behold handing in my resignation also proved my tedious as I was guilted for making a choice that will allow me to come back to myself. Strong, confident, reassured of my skills and competencies as a leader (that was purposely withheld as I started to climb) Always reclaim your power and get out when you notice the red flags.
It's terrible how so many bad bosses/supervisors get those positions, and if their boss keeps them their that's worse yet.. ceo's should clean house and personally recognize good employees and bad ones.. a successful employee is a great asset to any company big or small..
I used to have a boss who would micromanage and shadow my work in public. Should've really seen such red flags in front of me. So the boss I have now respects and has faith in me and giving me constructive feedback as needed in order to motivate as opposed to talking down to me.
I once had a manager that told me that my biggest defect was that I helped my colleagues and I was sabotaging their growing by assisting them instead of letting them be independent. Toxic AF
"Let me guess - you clicked on this video because you're going through a thing at work and you're wondering if it's just you". Ha-ha, your guess couldn't be more wrong, -1 to oracle reputation :) . Jokes aside, I find information you provide very valuable. Your video gave me another reason to appreciate my boss. Every attribute of the toxic boss you presented - he is an opposite of. Unfortunately, he will likely retire in a few years, and is already being pushed aside; so I still need to have my resume dusted and polished.
My boss's boss's boss's, the biggest grandiose narcissist I'd ever seen, went around tattling on me with her assistant like a junior high bully gang for playing chess at my desk .. what she failed to mention was that I had been complaining daily about an inability to do my job, at all, because senior management was stonewalling requests to repair our broken environment in what I now believe was deliberate sabotage to replace me and my department with people she perceived as loyal to her from before the company merger. When I was ultimately laid off, let's just say, I wasn't surprised. I ignored an exodus of former peers taking other jobs (willingly) in the year before my dismissal. In retrospect, they knew something I didn't
Bryan, thank you SO MUCH for this video. The problem I had at a previous job now has a name. I felt like something was not quite right there. Now I know it was not me. Again, thank you!
Ehh...not true. My current boss is amazing. I'm not micromanaged, he does as much work as anyone, and probably even more. He works late and on weekends if need be. We even sadly had to repeatedly interrupt his vacation when we needed his input on how to resolve an issue that was occurring. He pretty much didn't get to enjoy his vacation. I've had "meh" bosses, and I've had bad ones. He's the complete opposite of all of them. The guy has been with the company about 17 years and while I would hate for him to leave as my direct boss, if he was offered a promotion, he absolutely would deserve it (I've been at the job just a little over six months). There are some great bosses, though I'm truly sorry if you haven't had the pleasure of working with one. Took awhile for me to get one myself.
I am so glad I do not live at the same terrible times you have to endure. Wait, I do. And I have seen a few decent bosses, and the one I presently report to checks all the boxes (which is, I admit, a rarity.) Is there a slim chance something is wrong with the mirror?
My experiences with toxic bosses started in the 1990s. In the 2000s, it manifested again. Now, I am reading about the commentators' recent experiences. Very sad that employees are still being vilified and berated!
I always make it a strong point to develop a good relationship with your direct manager and his/her manager because if your manager turns out to be a toxic jerkoff, his/her direct manager may be an awesome person who you can count on should you decide to leave and need a professional reference. I found myself in this very situation recently where my former manager wasn't very liked among my team due to his excessive micromanagement and berating team members in public, but his manager was a very well respected person who we all liked and relied on for good professional references. In the course of a year, our former team all dispanded and left for greener pastures and not one of us asked our direct manager for a reference, but instead we all flocked to his manager, the former director, for a reference and we were all given stellar reviews.
If you haven’t, could you please do an in depth course on how NOT to end up in toxic work places and relationships in general and what we should be looking for in a healthy atmosphere?
Lol got micromanaged on order entry when we were incessantly out of stock on items. Did I make mistakes? Sure did. Did I get praise constantly improving getting it right? Nope. Did marketing and the office manager shift blame on me? Sure did. Was the director of operations inspiring or motiving? Nope. Was he Michael Scott gossiping and trying to be liked by everyone instead of leading by example? Sure was.
At what point in one's career do you accept that they pay you enough to put up with toxic bosses or that your job role/title means that accepting some toxic behaviours is par for the course? To me once you're a VP it's almost assured that you will not be receiving good coaching, feedback, will get texts out of hours to produce work, and have to deal with bullies above you. Sad trade off some people have to make, I haven't come across a lot of companies where the top layers aren't full of toxic bullies.
Texting me on days off Coworkers sleeping and playing on phones Fails to answer some of my emails No discipline or leadership Giving me more and more work while others goof off Telling me for almost 3 years that they are hiring someone to help me, but haven't even posted the job
Run away!!! Chose wisely not to repeat the same mistakes. I had the same experience. I have thought i have endured so long i will just stay a little bit longer. It is always better to search and chose when you are employed. But when it is critical to your health and or you can afford it financially just quit and calm down. Desperation is difficult to hide during the interview and it works against you.
Well done. Your point by point illustrations of what constitutes a "Toxic Leader" are very helpful for someone who may be in those circumstances. I plan to show your video in my MBA class on Ethics and Management. Thank you.
I have had a boss that is overly critical and at the same time gives compliments. Really a gaslighting boss. Never know what reaction to get from them.
I've got one... You send your executive an email with a document that had a few errors you missed and they laugh about it with another sr manager and then tell you to fix it. That's it. Doesn't say what they see is wrong because it's not her job to tell you what's wrong, you should just know 🤦🏿♀️
Up until now I never considered some toxic bosses don’t know they are one. Is there a legitimate “Dunning-Kruger” effect where a boss doesn’t know they’re sabotaging their team?
Giant red flag: nepotism arrangements. When the boss' wife/husband works in the office. Especially if they're not qualified for the role. Run far, far away and don't ever accept the job. Nothing good ever comes out of that. Or any form of nepotism really (friends, family members, etc). You, as the employee, will always be "wrong". Not to mention, if you have a legitimate complaint about a spouse, you can't exactly bring that up to the boss. Nepotism harms morale in the office and is a sure sign of a toxic place to work.
My boss followed me to the ladies room. He stood at the door looking at his watch. I've never misused my potty breaks. Later he went through the drawer where I kept my purse. Nothing was in that drawer but my purse. When I complained to HR she said "the cabinet belongs to the company." One morning he screamed at me relentlessly and pounded on his desk. He screamed that he woke up late, couldn't find his keys, then the car wouldn't start. Upon coming into work he was reprimanded by his boss. I told him not to take it out on me then walked away. I complained to HR and she said she only heard me screaming. I was then fired!
I’m so sorry it got to that and he treated you that way hun 😞 But you are better off!! Trust me. Boss sounds lying, maliciously dysregulated. And it sounds like it’s the workplace environment too w HR 🤢
@@SEAndies Thx! The HR person was a so called 'work friend' of mine. The manager I spoke about got fired a couple weeks later. He forgot to order some critical parts for the company.
I worked briefly as a janitor, cleaner in a large medical center. The older lady I worked with told me of a 🏢 job she once had with a cleaning woman who had a on going spat over 🗑. I said if a office employee came up to me saying nonsense about trying to catch a maid cleaning trash or hide stuff around a office bin, I'd fire that worker! They can go screw around playing games & pranks on other house keepers, cleaners. They obviously never did any office work.
OCPD is perhaps the most toxic personality disorder I've encountered in the workplace. They are controlling, hypercritical, self-righteous, and can only see themselves as important in their relationships. Very close to narcissism and often the two are comorbid. Sadly, once an OCPD person or a Narcissist becomes your manager, your only recourse is to play stupid and get another job as soon as possible. OCPD people will waste your ENTIRE career with micromanaged entry level busy work. If nothing improves after talking with the OCPD person's boss and HR, then you are kind of stuck. If they do nothing to correct the OCPD person's behavior, then they likely won't do anything to get rid of you either as long as you play aloofly competent and courteously distant from the OCPD manager. It's called Gray Rocking, and it is a method victims of abuse often use to keep the abuser's rage diffused, so that the victim can plan their escape. Sadly, OCPD and Narcissism are both disorders where the person with the disorder stay in complete denial that the disorder is abusive to others. So when a victim tries to stand-up for themselves, the person with OCPD sees it as disobedience, threatening, etc, and they then double-down on the abuse to exert their deep-seated insecure demand for control. Sick, sick people.
Why can't the advise be for once: "so now it's okay to kill that boss" Always so lazy "eHU jUst fINd aNotHer job" No wonder there's so many bad bosses.
I think we need to spread the ideal of the Christian leader : fair, humble, devoted to the common good of the service, always putting the team before himself.
My now ex boss would talk badly about the other people who reported to her (i.e. lazy, incompetent, stupid). I know if she is saying that about them she's saying that about me. Totally unprofessional and toxic.
In almost five decades of work, about half of my bosses were lying jerks who would not let me do a good job OR tried to make it seem as though I was doing a bad job. I've even had bosses sabotage my work (half the time, though, I caught them before it was too late to fix). However, the other half of my bosses were excellent people. Oddly, there really weren't many in between the two extremes. All young people entering the workforce should be told that many of their bosses will be psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists - and not to take it to heart. Management attracts such people and such people hire and promote such people. Oh, regarding "escalating to the next level": Be careful. Usually the next level and the one above that are just as bad. If you know see the bosses seem to be very friendly with one another, just put out your resume and get out as soon as possible.
I was let go from my job three days after I buried my grandpa. My boss and senior coworkers fit most of these signs to the point where I was relieved to be let go. The whole environment made me feel very negative about myself and adding the grief of losing my grandpa really left me hurting. I'm not sure how long until I can trust working for another company. Its just insane.
wow! this is right on point for me. New to mgmt boss with several multimillion-dollar departments. Has been within for 16 years in ONE dept and no other mgr even knows who she is. Looks over my shoulder, nitpicks bc she herself does not know and does not ask the right questions. She took feedback from an interm mgmr of me and uses that. She literally told me she has a problem with me not standing exactly next to her when speaking with the team. okay so I am in the room but not next to you. and where my person is, is a problem. She has taken over my official supervisory duties and talks, treats me like one of the staff. Coded my timecard incorrectly for protected time, just generally has bad working habits, never worked anywhere else even within the company does not know or have that managerial resourcefulness or people skills. I am accepting a job and giving very little notice, that requires more travel for a competing company just to get out. I will not accept any annual review she will have to write. It is sad other mgrs do not treat me like she does, employees from other departments that still support loved me, had a pot lucks and sent me off with gifts when i moved into new mgrs depts... and an employee was clearly insuborante towards me said I can do a better job than current management to my face and new mgr said it was my fault due to my communication skills. No way to go to new Director either she will squash everything as she determined she does not like me for whatever reason. Sad this co lets people stay long term and does not mandate they have transferrable skills or business etiquette. and you're in the club or you're not. Thought of writing this all in a letter then sending post exit but truly its not worth the time. TOXIC to say the least.* 12/21/22: Just accepted a internal transfer offer and for more money! Better mgmt partner, better everything..i did struggle with feeling not worthy but now better and ready to move on.
At my last job, I was Reprimanded in public for a Privacy Breach. Things like this happen. It's not good either, but damn. Take people to a conference room for this crap. Same supervisor shouts at someone else, "Hey can you go into the system and accept the error you received?"
I get the need for direction in an early career stage, but if things run smooth honestly the American way of common one on one stuff would horrify me, and feel like being stopped from working and getting stuff done. To a point of thinking why they would hire me if they think I need constant directions to do my job and not just info on what goals to reach. Nonetheless a lot of echoes from past bosses in thid video...
Another name for this channel should be is why should learn a skilled unionized trade and forget about working in the service economy. Back in the early eighties I earned a degree in statistics and application programing. What I got was horrid salary abuse working 12+ hours days steady, superiors gaslighting with insanely unrealistic demands of getting jobs finished, crap benefits, vacations being revoked at the last minute "because something came up" sudden unannounced layoffs the worst one being a 4:59 PM Friday layoff to discovered the whole operation was outsourced to India where they can get a programmer to do the same job for 25% of what they pay an American. Retrained working with busses. Income doubled the first year because I was paid overtime for my extra hours, good medical. My last year I made 135K and retired with a good pension. So yeah go stay in that cubicle and crawl on your belly hoping to get a raise and pray you don't get a supervisor that will make up some crap on a whim and get you fired.
I have job hopped a bit due to this problem, and it's completely worth the effort to make a move, because if there's a toxic boss who's consistently tolerated by senior management, there's usually a toxic overall culture underpinning that tolerance.
I had a boss like this. The one thing toxic bosses often have in common is they're good at getting the people they need to be on their side on their side. They're all about controlling how other people see them so while you may see how toxic they are, others think they're just wonderful. It sucks so much that companies let these demons rule.
I just started at a new dept. What bothers me is when one of my supervisors is laughing with others, but never with me, or even worse starting a conversation in English with others then switch in the middle of conversation to their language that I don't understand and sometimes end of the conversation goes back to English.
Nailed every quality of my previous manager in this video. Not to mention I was their ONLY maintenance technician for 3 buildings. Especially the unethical portion. On the third day of my new job, my previous manager, called me after hours without a Hi, Hello, How's the new job. Just went straight in to talking about work as if I did something wrong when they cancelled appointments themselves prior to me leaving. So glad I left that place.
Been there...never again! I worked at two consecutive jobs with toxic bosses, who targeted each department employee, other company employees and the external vendors. The first boss vanished without a trace after a HR investigation involving a complaint by his male subordinate. Karma backbite! I had interviewed with the second boss years prior, where she took a personal phone call in French language for twenty minutes. She hired someone else, who quit five months later. She called me out of the blue, and without identifying herself, she told me to meet her for lunch, so I could get to know what kind of person she was. It was all about HER. I figured out she wanted to hire me, and I lied about accepting a job offer. Six years later, I interviewed for the same job, with her Assisant Director as the direct report, and took it. Bad mistake! I wanted to quit the job for the first six months, but miracles of miracles... they terminated her VP job three years later. Karma backbite!
I have a similar thing going on with me. My schedules is always being changed in a whim to make me go work on projects that have nothing to do with the position i applied for.
The owner at my company doesn't understand IT 100% but wants to make the major decisions but at the same time, she's delayed at making them. Takes forever to get anything approved/done. Everyone in the IT department vented the other day and basically said the same thing that if we had other options, we'd have left the company by now.
It’s time to go. You’re being targeted, which could set you up for workplace mobbing, which is a method companies use to quiet fire people. Are your coworkers at least kind to you?
It could be a lack of clear communication, or perhaps he finds you not on top of your work. It could be ton of different things or just a personality conflict for no obvious reason. You could gently bring it up privately with your manager if you feel its salvageable
