Off The Record: Would You Get Involved in Someone's Serious Relationship Issues? 

I saw my dad beat up my aunt’s ex husband when he saw him slap my aunt. It was traumatic to see him beat up her husband (my dad didn’t know I was there) but. I saw my dad stand up for my aunt. I was 8 years old and I still remember that day clearly. My parents sat me down afterwards and spoke to me about what happened and why my dad had to step in. It’s so sad to think about how many homes are dealing with dv. 😢

Joe hitting all the talking points 💀. But in seriousness, this doesn't excuse female abusers.

i've worked w/ survivors of gender based violence for a while, and the one thing ppl should understand is that not everyone is ready to leave an abusive situation at the moment that other people find out about it. we should all be compelled to offer help in some way, but if someone refuses your help at that moment, it doesn't mean they want to be abused or are choosing to be in that situation. its not easy to leave an abusive partner for a million different reasons. if you find out about it, i would definitely talk to the victim first and see where they are at. if they aren't ready to leave, offer resources (local DV agencies, hotlines, etc) and support. tell them you are there for them whenever they are ready--whether its offering a place to stay, offering to pick them up, helping them process important documents, etc. most of them time people are not ready to leave yet. that is okay. It's important for us to not be offended or internalize the dialogue that they are being "dumb" or that theyre "messed up" for staying. if you have that mentality, take a step back and consider why you feel that way. you truly can't understand how much power abusive partners have over their victims entire being unless you have been in that situation, and it's not fair to judge someone for "not having the strength" to leave because while it looks so simple from the outside, i can guarantee that what the victim is experiencing is beyond what someone on the outside can imagine. this was def an important conversation to have and really agree w/ ryan in that men need to talk about this. also encourage everyone to really educate themselves on this topic b/c its complicated and difficult to deal with, and also happens way more than people think.

"They don't even go to their games" Yoooo Nick is Goated for that one liner LMAO!!! Edit 20:20 ... had to post the time stamp

this ep had no right being this unserious and funny 😂

I grew up in an extremely turbulent environment and it almost feels like something is missing when things are going too well for me. Life without that familiar component of chaos seems empty in a way, I've found myself having to manually choose gratefulness. My bf is very chill and our dynamic is so different from all my relationship rolemodels that it feels foreign sometimes; We're 5 years in and still haven't reached any of the trauma benchmarks that I have memorized. New normals are tricky, it takes a lot of course correcting and rewiring but change is possible. Good luck, everyone.

He said, " I ain't no rat" 3 times 😂😂😂. If there's abuse, yes, I get involved,I have. They are no longer together, and he ended going to jail on his own, the dumbass 😂. When I was being beaten up, I wish someone helped.

I believe all of these dudes would run out into the lot and yell at Geo “why did you make Bart hit you?!?!” and blame Geo. 😂😂😂

I can say as someone who has experienced domestic violence, the abuser is very good at leaving marks where people can't see them. It's often a change in personality that cause people to be suspicious of abuse. I know my abusive partner's friends knew something was wrong and it would have been helpful to me if they had come to ask me if something was wrong instead of going to him as he denied anything was happening.

I can't imagine physically hurting someone close to me. So I don't know what I'd do. Would it make sense to talk to the abuser? What am I supposed to do if I involve myself and the person being abused refuses help? I don't want to make it worse either

Friggin Nick straight solid faced "they don't go to their games anyway" 😂😂😂😂😂😂

16:25 that's common with abuse victims that grew up in abusive households. For a lot of abuse victims, it takes several attempts to completely turn away from people like that, let lone their partner. It's often because they've been so used it, especially if their abusive parent/guardian also showed some sort of affection, love, or resemblance to love some of the times. They've sort of been conditioned to be to comfortable in that space. Honestly the solution is understanding your attachment style, why you attract the people you do and therapy to start. When we get anxious about something, that's usually our brain trying to protect us and it will often choose familiarity over something unfamiliar. Relationships that feel very different from the ones they grew up with can be very uncomfortable because they're used to getting affection in a certain way. They may know logically it's bad, but their brain might be holding on to what feels familiar, so they might find themselves subconsciously attracting the same type of people or finding comfort with those types of people.

toxic relationships are hard to get out of they often go back and it can be due to the trauma Joe mentioned about the girl. the people who get it, get it, and the people who don't, don't. outsiders can only help up to a certain point, the abused has to bring themselves out of it

Oh, growing up in a effed up family is one of the things that brings the most consequences for future relationships if the person doesn’t do therapy or solve that issue on their own. I’ve spoken to so many people with bad relationships history and that was for sure the most common theme. And it’s easy to understand, when that’s your normal, your standard growing up, you don’t know better and even when you are old enough to understand, there is a sense of comforting for a lot of people, even if it’s subconsciously. It feels normal because that’s how you grew up, it’s like deep down you think it’s ok even knowing it’s not because you are in some ways desensitized. But at the same time, the personality influences a lot, that happens far more often with pushovers, negative people, low self esteem, etc.

15:58 who woulda thought Joe would be the _only_ voice of reason on this topic 😭 you can tell when he’s totally joking vs. being serious.. and man, what he said is really insightful and so true 🥺♥️

Definitely call the police in any domestic abuse situation. There needs to be an intervention.

“They don’t go to their games anyway” 😂

Nick hitting em with the WNBA Bill Burr bit lmao.

My dad beat me and I ended up in a domestic abuse marriage for a decade. I’m currently happily divorced and on my mental health recovery journey. Crazy thing is my dad denies beating me up. So fucked up

Thank God I discover this channel!

Nick with the wnba comment 😂😂😂😂😂

Ready for this episode !

I found my aunt knocked out and bloodied when I was twelve. I took my little cousins from my uncle and ran home with them and told my mom that then called the cops. Till this day that image is burned in my head and I have zero tolerance for anyone that is abusive .

Unfortunately, I know of men getting abused as well. It's sad to say. They don't want to fight back because the women will turn it around and say they are being abused..and like mentioned here.. if I guy is being hit by a woman, they look weak and / or a little "B". So they don't say anything. Abuse in any situation, physically or mentally, is very sad!

Lmaooo joe be bugging straight bugging 😂😂

I think a lot of people don't realize the reason a lot of people stay is not just because "Oh I love that person if I do better they'll change and not hurt me" yes that is in there but there's also the fact that statistically speaking when they do leave that is when they're at their most endangered. Your chance of getting murdered skyrockets. often times if you have pets or children they use those against you. there are so many reasons as to why people decide not to leave. If you have low or no contact with family or friends or they take care of everything financially, you have no one else to rely on because you maybe weren't allowed to work, there are a lot of reasons why people choose not to leave, and we shouldn't judge them based off of that. The hope of change and fear of their partner and what might happen if they do leave has to be less than the fear of staying

I only tell people that are in abusive relationships to leave twice. After that second time, i leave them alone. No point in repeating yourself.

That’s how 16:20 trauma works, you crave familiarity, and you correlate certain emotions with certain actions, the brain literally does not make the right connections neurologically anymore😔 it is possible to change and create new connections, but it takes a lot of trauma aware work and support

Ayo Nick with the outta pocket WNBA comment🤣🤣😂💀💀💀 20:34

you know whats crazy , my bfs cousins are so protective over him that when he does something wrong they are still the ones who believe my bf would be right and make aure i dont try to argue or fight him over it (not that id ever lay hands on my love) but thats why he makes sure he doesnt involve them ever if possible and doesnt ever bring up any type of issues around them when it comes to us. just dont involve your family or friends in your issues or argue around them. i think just bring it up later in private and work on that

Perfect timing!

They don't go to their games anyways. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 Bang Bang.

As someone that is on the abused side of things, numerous things play into why they don’t simply leave. I have had police tell me to leave my wife and kids but it’s because I have kids, I feel I must stay. As time has passed I’m wondering if I’m the problem and it’s my family that bring me back and remind me of a fucked up situation that happened in 2019. Recently thought about taking my own life, that was weird because I don’t believe in it. But that shit become like an urge like you feel your body wanting to do something stupid. And on top of that my mind made it seem like it was the perfect solution to my issues. Luckily I snapped out of it because I began thinking of what happens next. Loved have to see my body all fucked up , then wonder why the fuck it happened and then fight amongst each other, and then when the funeral comes, since I am a heavy dude (150kg currently) the people carrying to gonna throw me in my grave like I’m a sack of potatoes bro.

the better help plug 😆

I had to basically convince my roommate to leave her ex. She didn't want to and wanted him to change but once he made a threat against me, that was the last straw. (That's the short story, it was a longer more exhausting drawn out process)

If there is any sign of physical abuse - regardless of sex - you should report it. Don't try to be the judge and jury - let the professionals (law enforcement , etc...) sort it out. Doing so would and should be a relief that you did the right thing. Imagine if you didn't report it and someone got seriously hurt or killed.

This episode was sooooo funny despite the sad topic hhahahahhahah

There's comfort in familiar pain.

I just want to fight Joe so bad in this video. Lol. The way he worded it gave me high blood pressure. 😂 I know people in the domestic abuse relationship and I don't even know what to do. I tell them to do better and I tell them consequences that can happen. It's up to them to leave the relationship, but a lot of people are not gonna leave. It's a sad reality.

1:40 😂

It's true about parents who stop hitting their kids once the kid is older. My mum would hit me for anything, and one day, I told her, "I can't wait for you to be old to treat you the same." s She just had the Pikachu face. She never hit me again, but she changed 360. She was sweet, kind, and kissing ass 😒😒😒😒

NICK WTF 20:42 HAHAHAHAH

6:08 oh Can this is why I love you so much, you’re so pure 🥺😍 lmfao taking the hit so attentions off heo 😂

I remember the no eating rule😂😂

every time ''Joe" makes me laugh

Reads title: Nope. People have a bad habit of not taking critical advice. So I don't give it. Live and learn.

bro 9:16 was my favorite part XD

You guys should get cody ko and noel on the show!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽

I've been on both sides and grew up in one. If I'm close enough, friend. I just suggest but if they don't leave. I can't do anything unless I'm physically there (which i have before) and see it

Already did and I'd do it again. Call the cops on your parents if things get violent, someone could die if you don't.

When I was probably 16-17 years old me and my boy seen someone beating the shit out of his girl! My buddy said bro let’s help her I was hesitant but said let’s go so we ran over to help and the dude beat the shit out of my friend so I dipped… 😂😂

Shoutout to whomever Kevin is for supplying the donuts. 😁 lolol Anthony, be thankful Bart put the donut on top of the napkins instead of on his mini laptop like he did his Iced coffee. 🤣🤣Off The Record: Dealing With Judgment & Life Lessons (ft. Kelly Mi Li)

I AIN'T NO RAT!!!....1:48

I don't understand🤦🏾‍♀️. Why stay with someone that has physically hurt you? You only got one time to put yo hands on me 🤨. I'm not a fighter but I believe wholeheartedly in revenge 🤷🏾‍♀️.

In the next video Joe is wearing a neck brace.. when asked what happened he replies forgot the safeword.

Crispy crème sells📈📈📈

16:31 yes it is a “disorder.” If you wanna cal it that. It’s called codependency 😅

Love!

9:15 Nick is the best

Bro Code Stipulates that You Don't see your bro Abusing a Girl & you don't do nothing, you call the cops or go whop his ass... Bro Code Demands it!!

It's crazy how for women you can just call the cops. I think that's the most sensible. For abused guys there aren't really any physical signs to report it's just you see your homie slowly die inside and the person you consider your friend is just gone and what's left is this shell of a human that you don't even know anymore. How many times have we seen that? Shit! Where do you even begin to help with that?

My homie got beat by his gf verbally and physically. We talked about it. Then he wife’s her up. 😂 I don’t talk to him anymore, she’s crazy af tho always has been.

Wooooooooo!

was the intro volume reduced? thank you!

8:53 only you guys can joke about joining in on the domestic abuse 😂 Y'all really fist bumping over it 💀 💀 💀

Depends on what i seen, did she just punch and kick him for 30 minutes talking crap screaming and throwing stuff and he finally smacks her back? Well dont touch people but if its random and just because i wouldnt be around ppl like tbat and yeh id get involved but im not gonna get involved if sje been punching him for 30 minutes legit asking and daring him to thats dumb situational i guess

Ok off topic but I just noticed they finally cleaned the seating area

Idk if i know them ill try to talk with the abused to leave with help but if she doesn't want to leave thats on then but if there a stranger hell no I was at this part and her boyfriend like started beating her and this guy stepped in to help and got his ass beat broken leg and thay still together so he got his leg broke for nothing

it’s really the situation some people need help where some people are just staying.

My ex broke my teeth then my ribs then me nose and I kept going back

Mental abuse

Krispy Kreme with Coffee and Flamin Hot Doritos is a Do over. Such, of a Classic snack. 👅!!

:D

I really try not to, but they always seem to drag me in. I was accidentally the cause of a divorce with a couple the same night I met them. I ended up turning her down but she still went through with it and is with another guy. Never compromise brothers.

I'm the opposite of Joe; if the guy is getting abused I'll report it, if it's the girl, I'll laugh in her face.

What's up with Can always holding a knife? Is he some kind of a damascus knife manufacturer or something? Wielding merch?

some rather unheroic responses

Damn Geo, smh…women, were screwed

The thing is there arent dudes bragging about beating their wives. When dudes find out that stuff is happening 99% of the time theyre going to step in. These guys know what theyre doing is wrong so they hide it.

Cam is reallyyy quiet this ep..hmmmm...

Can has the most messed up morals, I swear. I mean, the universal answer should’ve been tell police or out the abuser, but wtf were those answers

I remember watching jknews but it sucks now. idk why anthony or Ryan would wanna be apart of this trash.

This topic is really sensitive. Isn't even funny. If I was a witness my guy friend beat up his girlfriend. For sure I'm going to call the cops. I don't care if you think I'm a snitch and I will do it anyways. And I find out that JKNEWS one of them beat up their wife or girlfriend. I will unsubscribe and I unfollowed all of their social media.

Oh I see why the show is falling off

Its sometimes dangerous to get inbetween cus you could get hurt or killed doing so.

I would separate them and tell the guy to chill out. But if the girl looks like she could play for the WNBA she bigger than me FOH

Anthony “do you know what I mean” Lee