Overcoming Social Anxiety: CBT to Build Self-Confidence and Lessen Self-Consciousness 

I used to be a shy and socially anxious kid. My skill was being invisible to people and I was pretty good at that. I wanted to connect to others but did not know how. People would make fun of me and I would hide at home playing video games. This went on for years. Deep inside I knew something was not right but I was afraid to face my insecurities and they just kept piling up. The more I tried to run away from these the bigger they got. At one point it got so bad that I knew something had to change. So I did research. I found out that there were other people, who used to be in a similar situation that I used to be in and they were able to overcome it. I followed their advice but kept sliding back into old patterns. The turning point was when I decided to get coached. Then the real change began. Everyday I was challenged to do three things outside my comfort zone. They got bigger as time progressed and something interesting happened. Firstly I found that the more I faced my fears the less they had control over me. I realized that the fears were actually not as bad as I had intended in the beginning. Something else happened. People respected me the more I respected myself. I exercised on a regular basis, took up a meditation practice and ate better quality foods. My life has taken a 360 degree turn and now looking back I am so grateful for how things have unfolded. Now to anybody reading this, I´d like to discover what your struggles are. How is this impacting your life?

Can't deny but this is a very long video. After watching the whole thing, I realize I was on the mountain of gold. If you are reading this comment, hope you get over the Anxiety and that please watch this video.

The worst part for me is when other people comment on it, because it confirms my suspicions that they DO notice and that it DOES matter to a certain degree. I end up feeling so judged. I've had this problem a lot at work, where my supervisors were upset with me because of my inability to handle certain social situations. I've even lost jobs because of it. Sometimes I feel so ashamed of the way I am. But I can't just avoid people the rest of my life - I really hope I can find a way to rise above this.

To all those suffering from social anxiety disorders like me I pray for healing 🙏🏻

Strategy starts from 19:50

Very good point at 8:07. If you tell yourself, you won’t criticize yourself even if you mess up or get embarrassed and stick by it, it helps a lot with social anxiety. I say this from experience.

Only seeing this now have suffered with social anxiety disorder for over 5 years now it’s made me quit football, school and everything else which led me to start taking drugs drinking too much and ending up suicidal and all doctors want to is throw meds at you, defo going to try everything now to overcome this. Thank you this means everything to me!

Damn I used to think It was just me but there seems to be lot of people having social anxiety

I have social anxiety. It effects my life everyday. If someone needs someone to talk to I'm here! I would love to talk with someone.

The only way we can deal with fear and beat it is by facing the fear, no more comfort, and avoidance, Thank you for the content!

I’m grateful for this video and for those involved and for those who can listen. What a blessing for social anxiety sufferers!

I don’t know how to say thank you guys finally I got the answer to my problem since my childhood I been suffering from this anxiety issue hope I will eliminate this as soon as thank once again

You explained the whole mechanism in amazingly nice way. Now I understand how the whole process works inside me. Thank you so much for making me able to go and remove the barrier in the way of my success. ❤️❤️❤️

I have found this video extremely helpful. I am currently going through CBT with a therapist, and the structured guided approach has helped me begin to come to terms with many of the ideas such as those presented here. Thanks to this video it's suddenly become clear to me that I pay far too much attention to what I am thinking and feeling all the time, but especially when there are other people around. I've been so bad for this, I think it has been one of my BIG problems for a long time now. It seems that the trick is to treat your own thoughts and feelings like background noise, particulary when you are with other people. For some reason I seem to have completely lost sight of this seemingly simple idea. THis really could be quite revolutionary. Perhaps even part of becoming more well adjusted or 'normal.' It seems quite simple in theory, don't get bogged down and lost in your own head, get out of your head and into the moment. Don't take your thoughts and feelings so seriously. Especially not when you are anxious or negative. It's a new trick to try and work on. Easier to try and practice some mindfulness techniques when not anxious or upset, and then hopefully it will be possible to draw on this when required. I feel like this could be a big breakthrough. In theory it certainly feels like it is. It's a matter of putting it into practice in real life situations now. I would really like to know if anybody else has any thoughts on this.

social anxiety has severely impacted my life. my fear of social interaction and the possible embarrassment adjunct to it, led me to years of isolation. but aging and subsequent fears of dying an unfulfilled life, have pushed me to pursue change. so now, i'm trying to take the steps towards recovery. thank you for providing this free resource. i'll try my best to implement the strategies mentioned -- first starting with the mindfulness practice.

It's a gem. Clear and effective

This is a masterpiece. I read a comparable book that made me reassess my priorities. "A Life Unplugged: Reclaiming Reality in a Digital Age" by Theodore Blaze

Man I just want to be free from this f* curse, It makes me miserable, I can't take this anymore!!!

I believe that people having social anxiety should try these techniques one step at time beginning with mild anxiety provoking situations and gaining confidence and then should move forward to more tensile situations. There will be difficulties and failures but with all skills in the beginning there are difficulties, a person should learn and move forward. First step is body language which should a person can learn from confident people. Fake it till you make it.

Best video I’ve ever seen about social fobia. Thank you sooo much !

Hi, the webinar is very informative and I love it. Can you update the link for the documents you mention in the video because it wasn't on the description anymore. Thank you and more power to you guys.

Thank you so much for this, good people

Great content. Thanks a lot for this video guys.

For me i started meditation to calm down so i could watch my thoughts because i believe anxiety is conditioning you watch your thoughs and you will see that whenever you feel anxious it is a conditioned emotion starting with a thought sometimes it is very subtle and can become conditioned to environment but if you meditate and watch your thoughts you will start to be more aware of the thoughts that cause anxiety its like energy management put your energy into your body and be aware of you and mostly you not other people you will slowly start to gain control of yourself and where you put your energy (your thoughts) don't put your energy where it doesn't belong ground yourself anxiety is like predicting the future the better you are at watching your thoughts the better you will feel

Exposure therapy is the best it helped me a lot and my anxiety was the worst if the worst to say the least

these are some really good points on what socially anxious people really think(hot thoughts-avoidance behaviors. Thanks for this video!

Social anxiety is ruing my life! I know that sounds dermatic but honestly, every time I have to leave the house which is normally the school run I run my self into such a state or worry and panic. I cant go shopping no more I cant even pick up the phone. Im struggling so hard 😢 just wish I could heal my brain or at least get out if my own head! 😔

this is extremely helpful, thank you very much.

Im listening to this whilst I walk to town, whilst looking down at my phone. I have social anxiety, i fear judgment so as a distraction I stare down at my phone whilst i walk amongst people. Anyone else do this ? Today Im making changes heal my ❤️

Thank you for posting this video!

Love this !! So helpful !!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

THIS IS THE BEST VIDEO EXPLAINING EXERCISES FOR SOCIAL ANXIETY. REALLY COOL. THANK YOU 😎

This is great work team. #affinity #adapt is the future!!!

Great video, thanks guys.

Thank you so much for sharing this. I can already see myself getting a hold of my social anxiety if I follow all the tips

beautiful. Thank you many times

Wish i have found this 3 years ago. I missed a lot because of this anxiety. Thankyou for this.

I googled ADAA Got Anxiety worksheets and found the PDF. Thank you for still having them online.

I have panic attacks, feeling pains on my chest and left arm. I just accept me,I can't be change, I'm trying to change myself and trying continuously ,some time iam tired but rest for a while and start again to straggle again. I know that there chemical changes in my mind so I can't control that but iam trying to control bcz that is the only job of me. I used technique for social anxiety is 1) have a watch of steel in my hand to shake the watch when I have negative thoughts. 1) just get out of body and brain and attention to the surrounding. 3) make your confidence by doing some small things 4) changes the lifestyle 5)accept your self that you are weak but there is more weak than you,but they just don't mind their weakness.

Where can we find the materials and handouts mentioned in the video?

I have had Fibromyalgia for 8yrs. now and have been sent to every Dr. but the right one. I have FINALLY figured out EXACTLY how I developed Fibromyalgia through years of research and prayer. This ailment is a BEAST and the pain level you live in, fatigue from lack of sleep due to tossing and turning all night from constant pain and intrusive thoughts , and loss of memory, every day takes A LOT of WILL POWER. Anyway as I am doing my research and start working on myself internally I started realizing the fluctuations of my pain with my thoughts. I had been living in extreme anxiety for most of my life and it caused me to develop Fibromyalgia. Please reach out to me because I would like to see how we can stop sending fibromyalgia patients to only rheumatologist but right after being diagnosed being sent to CBT.

A really good presentation, lots for me to unpack and start to apply to myself from it. I think I'll be rewatching a few times and making more notes than I did on my first viewing. Only criticism I have is the black on blue print was a little hard to read towards the bottom of the screen especially when the print size was small

This is golden. My fingers hurt from the notes but I know it's worth it. This is great for anyone who is looking to improve there social skills. I lean more towards having social phobia as I've kept myself isolated for some time now but gems like this keeps me moving ahead with an open mind. Thank you

I have social anxiety and since after my high school I have been told so many many time that...."why I don't talk much?".(I have an extroverted best friend so she has many friends who que this to me bcoz I stay quiet lot of the time) And actually I didn't notice that at first but then people pointed that out and I started thinking is it a prob?..Is it not normal?. Trust me it hurt me so much bcoz I never used to stay so quite it happened very gradually during my high school years. It made me feel useless and to add up to that I made some wrong descision which lowered my self confidence and trust. Still I tried to avoid being quiet but it always stayed like that and worst was when I was struggling , people staright away pointed out the very prob which I am struggling. Tbh it was like someone pointing out your worst mistake again n again and I just don't want to feel that again I hate that feeling. And gradually I am not able to talk without being awkward with my friends or anybody finding myself worthless for them. I think I am not enough or good as a friend they don't enjoy my company all this thoughts affects my friendships( I just don't want/like these thoughts I completely disagree with these thinking but it affects me somewhere).dont get me wrong I love myself,i know my true true worth, I love my unique thoughts.I can just rant about how best I am and I am working to be most good nd kind person. But I just don't like not being good enough for others or to disappoint them.For so many days I thought I was introvert but as I got to know what social anxiety is I realised I have all these thought but not to extreme but it does effects me time to time. I thought( I don't care about what will others think) but truth to be told I always did to the extreme. Whenever I have to talk to my friend or anybody except my family my heartbeat increases, I start to sweat it feels uncomfortable I don't like that. To overcome this I am again starting to take very small steps like commenting my thoughts , calling my friends actually I and my most of the friends are preparing for neet so and I am preparing from home(completely isolated) exam is after 4 months so I can't talk with my friends much and this time I genuinely don't want to talk bcoz of exam so Calling friends will be after exam. I am going village after neet (I haven't been to village since last 6 years)so I will work on my communication skill and overcome this social anxiety. Whoever is reading this Remember that you are literally the only person among millions to get a chance to live this life(I love biology 😂). Every descision you make especially how you feel is in your hand just conquer over your feelings trust me you have won your life. You are unimaginablly strong, you are embodiment of love, peace, and beauty with brain. You are always valid, you are loved by the universe itself when bag of burdens gets heavy talk with mother nature she will share your burdens with you.

I get nauseous and dwell on any future social gathering weeks in advance and it ruins my life until the event is over. Hate dealing with this it's like a tight ball of negative energy in my gut and won't leave until I either avoid the event or survive it.

12:50. 😢 😭omg that part of knowing people who won’t engage with me resonates well with me.

its a very well lectured class. but as you have mentioned it needs consistent practice for betterment. will patients be motivated enough, showing consistency and belief in following the techniques and therapy considerably well? because its a long process and training which needs lots of dedication from patients side too.

Wow!.. excellent presentation. I must say social anxiety disorder was explained so well and TREATMENT WAS OUTLINED IN DETAIL AND IT IS SO EFFECTIVE. I DOWNLOADED THE HANDOUTS AND IM DEFINITELY GOING TO PUT THE TREATMENTS INTO MOTION . ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU FOR SUCH AN IMPORTANT, INFORMATIVE AND EFFECTIVE VIDEO OUTSTANDING JOB ! EVERYONE WITH S.A.D SHOULD VIEW THIS VIDEO

This pairs well with the mindfulness workbook "The Days to Reduce Depression" by Harper Daniels.

Sir very clearly explaimed

Hello I’m new to recover my social anxiety I notice my problem among certain situation where I would have to talk or listen to people. Half the time it would be hard to control a conversation I mainly just agree so that person would leave. I have been mentally abuse before, where that a person has a bigger alpha mentality control my ways especially when working. I wasn’t scare at the time but I mostly I would worry of what might that individual say if I do something wrong because idk everything. Neither I wouldn’t let that person judge me for who I am and wat I do I just wanna be stronger in my life thank you.

Hello.. Very nice video. Can you please give the download link for handouts and training techniques/exercises.

I have had social phobia since I knew I existed. I was at the black board in grade school and my face got bright red. Everyone made fun of me. After that, I just wanted to hide and never socialize again. I hid in the bathroom stall during lunch and stayed home as much as possible. I thought God made a huge mistake with me. Everyone called me shy. I hate that word. This condition destroyed me. I'm 52 and just got clean and sober from drugs and alcohol. I'm shocked at what I have become. It's too late for me to go down a better road.

Thank you so much

Where are the downloads below that you talk about please?

I would highly recommend everyone here to read the book 'Mind over Mood'. Asbolutely changed my life

First of all thanks allot for this interesting lecture. You helped me to understand what's happening and the mechanism in different situations. I would like to use your strategies and advices but I can't find the material and handouts that you mentioned during the lecture. I will be very thankful if you post where we can find this materials, thanks!😊

Definitely relate to this, if anyone around the 30 age range wants to talk more about their experience going through this then let's chat on Tiya

I can’t seem to find the link to the worksheets?

What should I do if experiencing that shown on the video ? Feel like a lot of it is relatable

Thank you so much for this video. I know this applies to all social situations but Do you have anything specifically for romantic socializing, dating, and how to deal cope with that?

where can i find a therapist like thiss. those paradoxical experiments seem so helpful...and I bet it would turn humourous

What are the apps for cognitive restructuring that he referred to? Anyone know?

When it’s out of the norm it’s a disorder. Be careful I was misdiagnosed with GAD when I actually am bi polar 1 and have anxiety too. Finally getting some relief since I added an anti psychotic, started eating healthy and avoiding sugary foods and drinks. Reallly cold water is great for anxiety it’s a shock to the body!

Thank you!!!

Thank you so much for uploading, this was super informative. Just some constructive feedback: the moderator interrupted the speaker as he was in mid-sentence and about to make key points. Would have been helpful if the moderator saved her comments for the end of the talk. Regardless, super educational video.

Very useful. Amazing how our mind just automatically spirals into these false and limiting beliefs.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation present your requests to God by prayer with thanksgiving. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding shall guard your minds and hearts in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7

This is so helpful

Thank u so much😊❤

where can i find the handouts please?

Link to worksheets : nationalsocialanxietycenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/CBT-for-Social-Anxiety-Workshop-Handouts-4-8-18.pdf

Where are the handouts Suma said we can download 28:23

God bless you

Im currently doing ACT Therapy and it’s helping me tremendously. Can i use this CBT together with my ACT?

Im literally fed up with my social anxiety of me thinking about the same thing in public speaking. I cant even last a day without crying internally. I really wanna die, but that wouldn't give me as much benefits, i wont even feel any part of good in my life, its like depression, but you still care and have emotional thoughts.

My heart's pounds when I walk on the street, I always feel I have bad walking posture bcz I was told years back by my close friends. It's very hard for me to move to the front row in a big church. I also shake too. Anything public I feel anxious. God help me.

26:20

Therapists can be so full of themselves. Doesn’t mean they aren’t right about a lot of things. But they love to hear themselves talk and pat each other on the back for everything they do.

I tend to overthink and analysis what went wrong in my relationship after it ends and what I could have done differently to make it work, 3 weeks on and my friend says mate it’s not your fault you couldn’t have done any more, given we are going through coronavirus pandemic times and that her elderly dad is in hospital with an infection, I still question myself

If this is social anxiety disorder, then I was misdiagnosed. I don't fear people, social exchanges or even performing/speaking to large groups. People annoy me. People are obstacles I apathetically allow to alter my life because it's easier for me to change my routines to avoid them than it is for me to indulge their pedantry. It's easier to walk away than engage in other people's meaningless lives.

Download links would be extremely helpful :)

Why are all these videos just long dictionary regurgitation of what it is?

I've had it for as long as I can remember. It makes me internalise everything, so I get the wrong answer a lot because I have no external information. It seems to be natural selection to me. People like me are not selected because we can't deal with real life. Natural selection wouldn't want those genes passed on.

As for me I can't out without getting drunk can you help me?

If this is something you go through Nicotine Dolls just released a visual EP "Sex, Addiction, & Everyone Else" that talks about it.

I can’t even sleep anymore cause of anxious thoughts in my head at night. And it ain’t getting any better. I hate social anxiety

I found gold🙂

28:02

"urinate in the presence of others"

the woman keeps butting in while the guy is talking lmaoo

23:10

Meditation is not about focusing on your thoughts and external inputs, it is about learning not to focus on your thoughts and accepting the moment and being in it fully...so I think the presenters have got typical idea of meditation hence they believe it is of no use.

The red on blue PowerPoint coloring is hurting my eyes 😭

PPT PPT

15:12 I have anxiety for him

bookmark for me 41:00

As philosopher,empath with social anxiety i can say that more than 90 percents of psychiatrists are either narcissistic,sociapathic or psychopatic.So i have philosophic question to u Why Good "Men with social anxiety,schizoprenics,autists..." doesnot work as psychiatrist in psychiatry sector but Evil "Narcissists,sociapaths,psychopats" works as psychiatrist?Are u so naive to think that Evil who hurting makes people schizoprenic,with social anxiety,autist..." will care the good,will heal the good?

I've been researching best natural treatment for shyness and discovered a great website at Seans Shy Program (google it if you are interested)

How bold of you to assume I have friends to practice with.