FUN FACT: In early beta stages of the game you could sell searched people's nude photos for money. It was removed to make the confiscation system more serious to add tension to the late game.
3:30 papers please in a nutshell inspector:papers please entrant: **gives** inspector:are you from kolechia? entrant: yes inspector:CONGRATULATIONS! entrant: I get in? inspector : of course NOT
J. Kinast Everyone THINKS about the SU in this game while it was about the Berlin Wall, you twit. & no, not just lead by Russia. Even Stalin wasn't Russian but Georgian. There wasn't a "leading country", you twit.
Normally, people likes more when an OG comment appears, but with this video and another one that was full of only OG comments, I like to see an recent comment like you, because it's proof that still today people see it.
_Papers, please.._ You are from Kolechia.. Yes. *CONGRATULATIONS!* I get in? :D Of course not, you are randomly selected for complimentary X-Ray photo session. Please look at camera... [snap] *_Aye!_* *gasp* _THIS DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU! _*_REJECTED!_*
Boarder Guard: Work visa says you wish to be teacher.... Teachers not needed, children cannot learn. Person: What? Why? Boarder Guard: non of them can read.
***** youve been denied entry. Arstotzkan constitution no allow free speech. You not Arstotzkan and your picture doesn't match the name for profile. DENIED
- "This document's expired." + "What? I--I'm sure they are not. They expire on the 21th. It is 19th!" - "Today is 27th." + "No, it isn't?" - "25th..." + "It is 19th!" - "23rd is best I can do." + "But it's 19th!" - "Fine... 20th, but I swear to you; I go no lower." + "Okay... As you wish. It is 20th. But my papers don't expire until 21st. They are still valid." - "Liars not welcome in Arztotska!" *stamp* "NEXT!"
Next! Papers please. here you go. Duration of stay? Forever. Purpose? Engineer. We do not know what engineer is, we know what engine is. But you are not one. bu... GET OUT OF MY LINE! NEXT! papers please...
REGULAR Guard: It is a good salad bar! Girl: But i dont want salad i want entry! WITH SUBTITLES Guard: Is good salad bar! Girl: But i dont want salad i want mp3 xD
+Rowrin Come to Hungary, you will see many Imigrants on Serbian Border. No entry, only paperwork and armed guards. Yes we know you call them refugess, no refugees in Hungary, go trough Croatian minefield if you want to pass. This is not transit country. Do not take it personal, we hate eachother too. NEXT!
Every dialogue with that border guy (because I felt like I had to) *"Hello! Hello! Welcome comedies (??)! Good, sit down. No, don't sit down, there's no chair.. stand up. Stand up is good. ??. How are you? Good to see you! Glory Arstotzka. Why are you here? You are here for enter. Ya, is only five lo (?). You give us cash. No American express!"* "I.. uh...-" *"Kidding! Of course, of course. Papers, please."* "I.. uh.. of course, yes, here." *"Yes. Good, is good, very good. What are you coming for to go. Yes, Arstotzka. Entry not guaranteed."* "I look for work" *" We have no work here, everyone unemployed."* "Uh.. but, clearly, you have work" *"I am volunteer."* "You don't get paid?" *"Paid volunteer."* "That sounds like work to me" *"Barely qualifies work. Benefits terrible, and no dental. You have work visa?"* "Uh, yes" *"Work visa says you wish to be teacher. Teachers not needed, children cannot learn."* "But... what? Why?" *"None of them can read. NEXT!"* *"Glory to Arstotzka! Papers, please."* "Please, I-I come to visit my son" *" Visit document's expired."* "What? I-I'm sure they are not. They expire on the twenty-first. It is nineteenth!" *"Today's twenty-seventh."* "No, it isn't!" *"Twenty-fifth."* "It is the nineteenth!" *"Twenty-third is best I can do."* "But its the nineteenth!" *"Fine, twentieth. But I swear to you, I got no lower."* "Okay, as you wish, uh.. it is the twentieth, but my papers don't expire to the twenty-first, they are still valid" *"Liers not welcome in Arstosska! NEXT!"* "Here's passport and id card" *"No, thank you, already have one."* "What?" *"Already have one, do not need to."* "But-" *"No, thank you. Maybe next year. NEXT! Have papers ready, walk quickly, no pushing!"* *"Welcome! Are you... hungry?"* "Here you go.. wait, what?" *"You like the ladies? Of corse you do. Take, Take."* *"They have good sallad bar. Used to be steak bar, but with world health crisis, childhood obisity, now use sallad bar. Still good! Only ten lo (?). All you can eat."* "I don't want" *"Sallad is good for you! Health is inportant! ???, strong live, long time. Take care of family. Take care of wife and kids. You want see picture?"* "But I don't want sallad, I want entry" *"My dear, sweet, only child. Isn't it beautiful? Good, strong nose."* *"And here, here is family. In tough times family inportant, ya".'* "Did you just take bathroom break?" *"What?! Of course not! Of course not. No bathrooms here. No bathrooms in Arstotzka! GET OUT! NEXT!"* *"Papers, please."* *"You are from Kolechia..."* "Yes" *"Congratulation!"* "I get in?" *"Of course not. You are randomly selected for complimentary x-ray photo section. Please, look at camera."* "Aygh" (I really dont know how to write what he's saying) *"This not look like you! REJECTED!"* *"Very good! Thank you. Please, exit through gift shop. Remember the photos available, only nineteen ninety-five lo (?) shipping and handeling. Glory to Arstotzka! NEXT!"* (Sorry for bad grammar and lack of vocabulary)
"We have no work here. Everyone unemployed." "Uhhh... but clearly you have work." "I am volunteer." "You don't get paid?" "Paid volunteer." "That sound like work to me." "Barely qualifies work. Benefits terrible, and no dental."
no in this game you can accept entry in the us mexican border you only have the deny stamp that is hotwired to the arrest buttonso you only have to press one thing
+Thou art blessed with the gift of the longest usernames, shall thee use them well. Very easy. If they are coming INTO the US their passport is obvious forgery or not valid.
This was actually the video that got me interested in watching loading ready run sketches and loading ready run in general. Thank you for keeping us entertained from the bottom of my heart
alexroederer All Arstotzkan personnel caught on filthy Kolechian express will be thrown in prison full of smelly Kolechians and stoned with high quality Arstotzkan anti-Kolechian stones. Take Arstotzkan express; no Kolechians allowed. *GLORY TO ARSTOTZKA*
Hahaha What Mickey Mouse show we running here ha?!? Is Russian Mickey Mouse. Is like normal Mickey Mouse, except is dying from starvation and dysentery. Very sad childhood, very sad...
"What is taste in mouth? What is taste in mouth? Is like gum, but not gum. Like, no, is like asphalt. I had a lil asphalt too much asphalt today. I need stop check stamp. Wait, Vladimir! Vladimir more stamps. We have less stamps than we had before. I only have the twenty seven cent ones. We know? I've got dis, I've got dis one but I can't mail with that. Could I have more dis? Is just microphone. This is half microphone. Vladimir! What sort of Mickey Mouse operation we running here? Is sto- is not good. We have Russian mickey mouse, is just like regular mouse only it's starving and dying of dysentery. Oh, so sad childhood, so sad." Comedy gold
Andy is a professional actor; the rest are professional comedians. I should hope that professional actors have better fake accents than professional comedians.
I'm going through some tough times at the moment, and Andy always makes me laugh until I cry (for good reasons) in this video. I love you guys so much.
