Having a narssisist for a parent to me is like child abuse. It took me many years to see the true person in my own mother. And add, "Bully" to that as well. I have a brother and a sister that fall under her wing. They all know how she is. I hope they enjoy. As they play their games. Because it will never be me again. I cut her off. But only after she did it to me for the 50th time. She can no longer pick, tell or rule me. It took me to get sick to be able to have the guts to cut her off. Done!!!!! Love from Texas ❤
Bonnie Jennings I’m going through this right now and in the process of cutting her off completely. Just arriving at that decision made me feel so at peace. Best of luck to you, you don’t owe her anything when she’s treat you how she has xx
Recently chapters from a book Cindy Watts is writing were leaked onto the internet and she straight up says her son was just perfect until Shan’ann came along and messed him up. She blames Shan’ann for her own death, blames her for the kids death and blames her for making her poor son look like a bad man because he was so corrupted by her that he had no choice but to become a serial murderer. It’s so gross.
Scott Peterson's parents are the same; their little "angel" can do no wrong. His father told Barbara Walters, "all men cheat, especially when the wife is pregnant", while Scott's mother nodded approvingly. Chris Coleman, who also murdered his wife and 2 small sons, had parents who said if only Sherry Coleman had been a better wife, Chris wouldn't have had to cheat on and kill her 🙈 These psychos have one thing in common: families that put them on a pedestal and make excuses for their vile behavior
I think Shannans big personality was too much for Cindy Watts..she would never be able to control or manupulate her. Shannan (from what ive learnt about her) was her own woman, committed and determined, positive and energetic. Waaaay out of Cindy Watts' league. Cindy's oppinion would have meant NOTHING to Shannan...
I can imagine Shanann ignoring Cindy's gossip or mean-spirited comments & saying, "Well, that's not my experience with her," and moving on & ignoring Cindy's pettiness - which Cindy would've hated (someone who forms their own opinion).
The tragedy here is that Shanaan was a wonderful mother raising two empathetic daughters. Their first impulse was to hug their sibling in utero when they learned their mother was pregnant. Shanaan would have been fine on her own because her own parents would have supported her had she and Chris divorced. The pictures released of her childhood show a close family where the parents were affectionate toward their children. Haven't seen anything like that for the Watts family.
Yes! So true! It was so beautiful how they went to hug Shanann's pregnant belly and how Bella always looked after Ce Ce. And yes I agree she would have been fine solo with the support of her family and all her supportive friends. Absolutely heartbreaking.
They were welcoming their new sibling into the family. By contrast, in listening to Chris Watts' interrogation he never mentions her pregnancy. That baby didn't exist for him.
That is common in America. I speak to my Mum every day as do three of her four adult children. When I was growing up, long distance calls were expensive and that would be a considerable expense. No longer.
I so agree!! After watching your mother being interviewed you could see it was all about her and how she felt. And she was so dismissive towards her daughter in law and her grandbabies. It was actually shocking
You know I two have ex- sisters-in-law I don't like but I would never hate them like Chris parents hate Shannan and Bella and Cic and no matter what no way in hell I would ever hate my nephew and nieces from the sisters-in-law I don't like
She reminds me of the first therapist I went to when I developed panic attacks and depression in my marriage. That woman saved my life! I grew up in a dysfunctional abusive n neglectful family,so I didn't know my husband was emotionally and mentally abusive,I just thought I was too sensitive and we were simply having communication problems. She has a soothing,calming voice just like her too!!!
Lol... I just said as much for the video that preceded this one. This is by far the best and easiest explanation of how narcissists do what they do. And how they procreate the behavior in their childre.. Very important information!
If it wasn`t Shannan, it would have been someone else being picked on by the the mother in law. She couldn`t handle Chris being `taken away`, she`s possessive, and not a very nice person.
She would have really hated NK. To me, she was showing herself to be far more domineering than SW. It would have been a civil war started in that family if he ever married NK.
This family dynamic is common when the head of household is narcissistic. Thanks for another great video, I think you have some great insights on this case.
@Toxic Stoichis personality disorder could be the same of the first husband, sociopaths, but the first time she opened the door and leaave, this man, CW was worst, I belive he was also using drugs , only God knows why this tragedy happened.
I married a covert narc and his entire family treated me badly and talked behind my back. It was a toxic environment and I really feel for Shannan and how she was surrounded by these toxic people. It can be extremely stressful.
They also punished Chris by playing such a dirty trick as not to send most of the wedding invitations, and not going to his wedding........but they didn't care about that.
It was obvious how hurtful Cindy was all those years to Shanann. It would have been so difficult in times of celebrations engagement party wedding both no shows.... births of both girls. When Shanann would become teary eyed when talking about being successful despite people wanting to tear you down...I'm quite sure she was referring to Cindy clan.
The wedding invite thing was nasty! A real relationship killer. I've never heard of someone screwing up someone's wedding like that. Her own brother. It's very strange and unpleasant. Ed. Even bridal shower, its more pointed to the bride. Nasty.
Narcissistic families are very evil and play dirty. I am not surprised by what Jamie did. Even if I didn't approve of whom my sibling is marrying, I would never intentionally sabotage their wedding.
This makes me even so more sad for Shannan☹️ She tried so hard for Chris’ family to love her because they probably made her feel inadequate and never enough. When HE was never enough😡
My mom went back to college in the 90's to get a psych degree because after my parents divorce she met and lived with a sociopath (diagnosed) and of course narcissist for many years. After they broke up she was fascinated that people like that existed and motivated her to learn more. When I first met him my mom wasn't home and I knew within a few minutes that something is seriously wrong with this guy and that everything about him was phony and an act. In my personal experience, I've found that men are more likely to recognize anti social behavior traits in other men and women will more likely recognize them in other women. By the way, my mom was friends with Judy Brown, the mother of Nicole Brown Simpson murdered by the sociopath O.J. Simpson.
L F * She didn't know he was a sociopath when he moved in to my mom's place in the middle 80's. In fact she had no idea what a sociopath was. It wasn't until years later, while trying to fix the relationship, she took him to a shrink to workout issues he had because of his horrible upbringing that he was diagnosed as a narcissistic sociopath. My mom immediately began studying about its characteristics, of course left him and realized that he was a classic sociopath, a really obvious one once she know the definition. Our relatives thought he was a nice guy and even after the breakup many thought so because when you mention the word sociopath it's like you're speaking Chinese to them. They just didn't know anything about psychological disorders. So after the breakup my mom was fascinated that these people, which she was ignorant to before, existed among us preying on normal people who have a concious and empathy for others. Knowing David the sociopath motivated my mom to back to college and get a psych degree.
sca88 how interesting! Agreed a lot of these personality disorders are a lot more prevalent. The bridge between relationships and the generations is so flimsy now.. Nicole’s parents were very stoic and I’m sure they did not understand the magnitude of the abuse she endured until after she was gone ... such a tragic loss
You are right, men do notice these traits fast, women not so much BC we are socialised to be warm accomodating and understanding. The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker changed how I respond to my gut. I just listen n run. I'd rather be wrong and miss out,than be right and pay for it later. Your mom sounds like someone id like as a bff 😊
Spot on! My MIL is a covert narcissist. I have lived this for 30 years. It took me 24 years to understand this terrible family dynamic. Yes, jealousy!!! My sweet mom was the first to tell me that it sounds like my MIL is jealous of me. I remember disagreeing with her because my MIL seemed to not even like him, her own son. And, our wedding...my MIL tried to be the center of attention. She announced her divorce from my husband’s dad just days before our wedding. My husband’s dad cried our entire wedding day. Still divorced, but my FIL remains her puppet to this day.GREAT VIDEO! So true in my case....years and years of narcissistic craziness.
I've been watching, pausing, writing notes, rewinding and rewatching - thank you for your video! So much insight into my own experience of a potential Narcisist and So much insight into the family protrayed. Thank you!
I want to thank you very much for your videos on the Watts case. As a father of three girls, I have been obsessed with this case for the past few weeks because I just could not understand how this was possible. I've been trying to find something that makes sense. I didn't buy that he just snapped... Your insight has finally given me a light at the end of the tunnel.
Sam Vaknin is a professor in psychology and has his own RU-vid channel with information on narcissists/borderlines. It is, indeed, fascinating (although horrific). According to him, a doormat covert narcissist transforms into a primary psychopat when experiencing extreme stress and unease. I can recommend his channel.
Excellent explanation of narcissistic mother in law and the resulting family dynamic. Lived it but was fortunate enough to leave while pregnant before they were able to destroy me or my child.
When Watts broke free from that insanity, he told them he hated them and never wanted to see them again. He never should have gotten himself re- enmeshed with them again. If you get out, never let a narcissist back in. Unfortunately, the damage had been done. Watts was so invested in fueling his false persona, he had completely lost his chance at his own authentic self.
So crazy i have an ex husband like chris, and his family was like this too! Extremely one sided and only supportive of their own. They have even somewhat neglected our children! Ice cold and cowardly! When we had our first son he wanted to take me sailing. Before we went we had an arguement. He said Im afraid to take you on the boat because youre going to throw yourself off if we fight and Im going to get blamed for it... at the time i saw no red flags. He said things like this often. He used to punish me all of the time. Now that im out, its so scary to think back to that. I felt a need to share. People dont realize the red flags until its too late. Or they blind themselves to it. Im heartbroken for those sweet little girls, that poor mother and their family and friends and all who love them. May justice be served where it is due and bless those beautiful children and their mother. Please everyone be safe.
My ex husband would say very similar things too. Like planting the seed of protection for himself and leaving breadcrumbs to create their own truth... glad you are safe and away from that abuse.
Did you see Mother Watts' facial expressions during her tv interview? While she spoke about the wedding and Shanann.. her look was of utter disgust like as if to speak of Shanann left a bitter taste in her mouth. Crazy.
I think your video is really great and very accurate. Thank you so much for your analysis. I am the survivor of marriage to a narcissist with a narcissistic mother. When I married him after only 5 months of knowing him (very dumb I know now), I didn't know anything about narcissm and was extremely naive in regards to marriage and people. The mother seemed to love me at first, as did her son but as soon as we were married she began subtle digs at me that eventually turned to bitter hatred and some unspeakable treatment. I had a career before I married, a masters degree in my field, which later saved me by allowing me to gain financial independence from him and leave. When my children were only 4 and 6 literally escaped my home and fought for my children; I was at rock bottom with no self confidence and physically ill. The abuse did not really end until my girls turned 18. The mother ruled the family and everyone else seemed to do what ever they could to keep her "at bay" so to speak. I remember that early in my relationship with her son, he told me that he was the "favorite" child and told me that his mother was a "bit overbearing". I just thought that he was being funny or exaggerating, but being more overt (versus covert) he was telling me who they really were, but I didn't see it at the time. I watched Chris Watts mother being interviewed and it was so eery because I saw my X-mother in law in her expressions and her thought process as you pointed out so well. Her son could do no wrong, it must be Shannan running away to punish him she said. I said to myself before I saw you video that she is a narcissist and that Chris was her golden child - no one would be good enough for him. This is such a sad situation and I hope that more young people can become aware of narcissism and these types of dangerous family dynamics that can lead to what happened to Shannan. I was lucky to get out alive; psychological abuse is very damaging as well. My heart goes out to the victims of this tragedy.
@@LiveAbuseFree Your so welcome sweetheart. I married a Narcissist and his Mother was just how you explained. I could do nothing right. He is my ex now. It all seems a lifetime ago now but still i remember it clearly. We had three beautiful daughters and and i made sure we got away safely. But it took me fifteen years to heal and enjoy my daughter's growing up. It was like hell on earth. I did remarry again when my daughter's were all grown up. I count our lives lucky. This case brought it all back to me. But i can now think about it but i don't live there anymore. With love. X 💗
@@davinastanton3865 enough is never enough for these ppl. Even if you exhaust yourselves for them they wont be satisfied and demand more. I am glad you got out of that marriage! It really is a hard thing 2 walk away and takes planning. I've been in my marriage for 11 years and have considered leaving too. These ppl will make you burnout without a care in the world!
Love your videos on the Chris Watts case! Your analysis is excellent and really helped open up my mind, in terms of trying to understand this horrific case. I really feel for Shanann having to deal with CW family while she was alive. Ronnie seems like wimp that just goes along with the wife. So CW was a combination of his two parents. i.e. A controlling Narcissitic mother and a wimpy/quiet father that is scared to rock the boat.
MrNutsack100 I have a mother in law who adored me.she baught my love with gifts that were quite expensive. She gave me more gifts for Christmas and all occasions more than her own son. She told me she always wanted a daughter. I call her mom till this day things did take a turn for the worst. I would love to know what happened.she disposes me now and is constantly calling him ever five minutes. No joke. They hang up the phone and as soon as a second passes she calls again. This is on a daily basis. It’s horrific.
@@yumifuentes4381 are you sure that it is really his mom calling him? It doesn't sound like it 2 me. Seems like he's got this persons number saved under "mom", but that's just wut I think. I may be wrong.
I married into a family like the Watts 20 years ago. The similarities are scary! However, I wasn't as strong as Shannan or as forgiving. I completely fell apart at the realisation that people who look so innocent on the outside could be soo evil. I can remember saying to my friend..." They're trying to kill me! Kill me by getting me to want to commit suicide". HE left ME in the end and returned to the box room at his mummy's. My ex and his family all look very nice, very innocent and respectable and people believe what they say. They have bad mouthed me all over town for years. Even last week (20 years later) a friend of theirs who has never met me was bad mouthing me to everyone he met at a Christening! This man has his own family, his own business etc....but what he wanted to talk about at the party was ME!! ..someone he's never met. So he must be a " flying Monkey" for their 20 year "smear campaign " . I've never got over it all. I've really tried, believe me. But they come into my nightmares.
Great analysis of this truly shocking case of how extremely dangerous narcissists can be ! CW clearly found justification in murdering his beautiful pregnant wife and his two angelic daughters ! How sick can the mind of a human being be ??? Personally, I suffered greatly during my life through being in close contact with narcissistic relatives. My wife’s family lived very close-by to where I lived with my family. My wife’s brother-in-law showed all the traits of a narcissist, being a liar, cheat, parasite, back-stabber, wife-beater, child-beater, swindler, fraudster etc and - for me the worst of these - he was obsessed about being the boss of all 4 families. He wanted to be in control of EVERYTHING that happened - even to the point of e.g. buying food and other things centrally for all four families. He would walk into our home at any day or night time, and go into the fridge and bar to help himself to food and drinks. Finally, I had no other choice than to kick him out, and to break off ALL contact to him, but even despite this, he still made several efforts to establish his leadership over me and my family. Incredibly, not only my wife’s brother-in-law was a covert narcissist : her father was too. Through deception, denial, swindling, and careful planning, he succeeded in cheating my wife out of her inheritance. I only wish that I had known about narcissists a long time ago, and if I had known then about how they tick, I would have been in a much better position to deal with these (expletive deleted).
So Cindy has gone from cutting off her son on Facebook (why would a loving mother ever do that) to swear to him in jail that she will always love him no matter what he does; it seems quite a contradiction. It made me wonder if some small part of Chris's calculation in killing his family is that he would be in good graces with his family again if the people his mother disliked were gone. Nothing can convince me that she cared one bit about her grandchildren.
My mother was off the charts narcissist, with a major inferiority complex, I was the kid chosen to represent all that is wrong with a person, I refused to 'fully' buy into this and had a horrible, contentious relationship. I said my exclusion from fully being in the family, as my price for my free speech and freedom. When she was old and dying, we made peace...on my terms.
I love how you keep the boot to their throats (Cindy, Chris) in every video and you just keep it there as you systematically decide and remove their masks. You are truly awesome.
People say that the plunder channel is CW sister, but I'm not sure. Either way, the sister is an underrated lunatic as well. She probably wanted to please her mommy by sabotaging the invites
8:33. I appreciate your understanding and explanation of the Narc. family dynamic. I would add that if a woman does not or cannot bring herself to like her future mother in law, then she should never even consider marrying that woman's son. I see this as one of the first big wrong turns that dear S took. With all due respect she is an innocent victim. But speaking generally, if you dont like his mom....the apple doesnt fall far....
Yes, I always tell me girls to look hard at the relationship a son has with his mother and if it's a dysfunctional relationship, they should run and never look back.
So true! One of the biggest reasons I felt safe marrying my husband was the way his mother treated me. We don’t even speak the same language and come from completely different backgrounds, but from the first she welcomed me into her home like one of her own kids and told my husband that if he ever harms me she’s going to kick him out of the family. He’s extremely close to her but she won’t hesitate to give him a verbal kick in the pants if he’s being dense.
Wow, I come from a family with an overt, overbearing, raging narcissist father and a covert narcissist, histrionic, borderline mother. I have been studying Narcissist Personality Disorder and NPD family dynamics intensely for three years (reading and following sites on RU-vid) and I have to say that you have a very deep, insightful knowledge of NPD and NPD family dynamics. And, I agree with you 100% that the Watts family tragedy is a study of NPD and NPD family dynamics with CW's mother as the NPD matriarch and CW as the extreme example of a ruined child who grew up to have sociopathy. Many people are interested in this case because they want to understand how this type of tragedy could occur. It is necessary to have an understanding of NPD and NPD in family trees to fully understand how this type of tragedy could come about. Love your insight.
great video, thx......oh, wedding shower invitations, and made food shanann could not eat,,,,and because they screwed up, cindy was pissed and refused to go to the wedding >>>>> she also refused to attend her own grandchildren funeral :((
People are different and I was willing to say that Cindy Watts just didn't like Shanann. However, when I learned about the invitations (I think it was for an engagement party, not the actual wedding), I couldn't believe it. If you don't like the person, then don't volunteer to help them. How cruel - and how sad for Shanann.
You are very knowledgeable. Great series on Narcissism. CW and family is a real life example of how they operate. Should be taught to children in middle school so if they meet one, they know what to do and when to protect themselves.
Thank you so much for going over all these things! I went through all this myself, but had no clue to put into words what I was seeing happening right before my eyes with my husband’s family. For 28?years thinking what did I ever do, but now I totally get it!! Thank you for putting all this into understandable words !!
Interesting to listen to you describe how a narcissist -led family is almost like a cult. We are seeing the same thing with our narcissistic president and his supporters in the US right now. Thanks for your excellent take as always!
Its pretty amazing I had never thought of my mother as anything than a nasty women who punished me with withdrawel and critisims. For many years I thought it was me, but now i know it was her. She was a teacher and everyone thought she was wonderful. But she couldnt get on with a child over about 10 when they are really coming out of them selves. But she was really cold especially to me as I was the youngest and wasnt able to be what she wanted. I am 67 and now just working it out. For many years I thought it was me. Thank you for your insight it has really helped me.
Yeah CW mothers didn’t like it thst ShanvAnn called her precious baby boy a weirdo .....I agree Shan Ann was probably joking saying things about CW appearance ..
Yes, I think Shanann was trying to bond with her mother in law to be by having a joke with her about her son but Cindy saw that as criticism towards herself as the purpose of her children is to make her look good.
Live Abuse Free I experienced this very same thing with my MIL. My narc husband was always thinking up crazy things, that no normal person would bother with or do. One time he decided instead of getting a bike to ride to the train for work, he was going to buy a pair of rollerblades and rollerblade 20 min each way to and from train to work and back. He couldn’t rollerblade and after a few tries on the street gave it up. I joked on the phone to his mother (with him there) that “only_______would try something like that!” in a joking way trying to bond with her over this crazy husband I had, (and she knew he had a long history of hairbrained schemes). She turned cold and said “I think it’s a WONDERFUL idea”....in a really offended way. I realised there was going to be no friendly bonding over the absolute hell my life was living with his crazy schemes and ideas. No bonding with her at all. Her baby boy was precious and perfect and she hated my guts.
I’m curious what roles everyone played I. The Watts family. We hear about the golden child, the scapegoat, and what about the husband, Chris’s dad? Was he just the doormat, in agreement with whatever Cindy says/said?
Ciara Wetherell From what I understand, he does agree with Cindy and goes along with her way of thinking. I can't say much more because I know very little else about him.
may be he had no skills to deal with the master manipulator Cindy! and just loved his son ! he doesn't want to lose his son no matter what. you see things all the time o families where the mum is dominant and manulipulating and the son geta away with everything and the father is just at a loss.
Why are they all scared to stand up to cindy? Chris obviously took after his dad and didn't set boundaries in his relationships. It kinda seems like he was used to letting ppl make his decisions for him. . A ppl pleaser. But yeah, that woman is a monster and reminds me of my mother in law!
Yea I agree. Ronnie seemed more laid back & that’s why CW called him first to the police station & didn’t make a confession to the police detectives until CW spoke to his father (even though it was a complete lie).
Tangent but this is why I'll never believe he did this of his own accord. Chris was so passive and weak he wouldn't even try to lawyer up and try to get off the charges . Once surrendering to his fate he then couldn't bare confessing without daddy holding his hand. Just pure zombie like empty vessel. Anyway , this is off topic. At this point I'm not I even want to know the details of what really happened.
@@bucklesmagee3806 It explains why he did it when he thought they were asleep so there wouldn't be a confrontation. He knew Shanann had neck issues from a previous car accident and in the recent past had neck surgery. He knew that was a weak point for her especially if she had little to no feeling in that area. Bella was the only person to struggle. Add all of that to her many autoimmune disorders, he knew what he was doing. The neighbor stated he could hear them argue and that CW was mostly yelling. He also stated that he thought Shanann was trying to get away from CW because of what he heard on a daily basis. I believe CW wasn't as nice as people say he was. I believe that neighbor hears the real CW. Remember we never know what happens behind closed doors and no one is around.
@@yolandawilson9852 as u now know a year later the neighbor said he didn't ever hear CW yelling or them arguing and that he just said that so they would focus more on CW bc he had a gut feeling something was off about him after they were missing
I never realised a narcissist could be so easy going and quiet like Chris? Shows how little I know. Just found your channel, easily the best on this subject. 🇬🇧
It really doesn't seem as if his mother has any genuine remorse for Shanann's death or for the babies. It's almost like "he did it for her". There was an interview by police and one of Chris's friends from North Carolina. In the interview the friend states that Chris's mother kept calling him to complain about Shanann. He stated he personally never had a problem with Shanann, but He was starting to change his mind (based on the family's opinion. After the North Carolina trip he had advised Chris's, he said to the officer, " You have to do something!" Why would he say that!? I think this added to Chris's mental justifications, he was probably like "and I will". When I listened to that interview, it just made me think "Hello!, are you stupid!?" I'm with you, on the mom and her nuts (double meaning)! I had been telling everyone familiar with the case, she deliberately, risked the girls health, because she hated Shanann, and was indifferent to her girls. His family is like a pack of wolves!
OMG!! I didn't know Cindy had been tasked w/invitations and had failed to send many of them! Look at all the supply she got out of that- rubbing her hands together in anticipation of Shanann's reaction on her wedding day. It meant fewer gifts also....what a despicable woman.
I want your ideas what that first letter from of 6/12/2018 where the Ms. Sexinger in a Anadarko company email told Watts that she would like to keep her and Watts communications private. His next email to her said that he would honor their relationship to be kept in private. Also, in that email she said that she wants exactly what he has done with his life by having a beautiful family, wife and 2 kids. This is important to me because exactly 2 months later they are killed. What may have been her motive to tell Watts to keep their communications/contacts private in one breath, and the other breath tell him that she wants what he has. The letter was in the court discovery papers . I think the part where she muted him is where he got the message that lies and sneakery was honored by her. It is my idea that this was the letter that gave a nutcase that it was okay to lie and sneak. Most people that have virtues would never request to start any relationships with this groundwork. What's your take.
I wish I found you long ago . You are spot on with your thoughts of everyone involved. I know this to be true as you have described in detail exactly my experiences in a marriage and another relationship I had experienced. These types of people will suck your confident out of you for themselves. When I dated my husband he lived across the street from his mother and his sister who was my best friend for decades and they treated my son/ family and I like gold. They respected the independent single mother I was who bought my own house and worked 3 jobs. The more and more we saw each other I noticed little snarky comments from his sister (my bf) if I talked about the future with Josh. I sensed she and her mother (family) felt if we were to live together it would be at his place PERIOD. I kept hearing "we" thought he should do this or "we" thought he should do that. If he was fixing their cars , mowing their lawns and blowing their driveways in the winter he was great. I never saw this side and knew I would never sell my home to live up there . I felt them putting him in this pick or choose mode. As time went on his sister (my B/F) pecked away at me to pick and side with her and the mother. They would always say "we thought Josh should live and stay here . Then it got worse. This will sound very silly but his mom and sister sent Christmas cards with only his name on it and not mine or my sons. She would buy him 2 pairs of socks for Christmas while his other sibling got expensive gifts like jewerly, cash and fancy clothes. She made cookies and had them in clear bags for each of kids and they got 12 cookies each as he only got 2. Invite only Josh for dinner but not me. Again, pick and choose. We got engaged and it was made us both sick having to tell her. We put it off for months ! Finally the day comes and we had to mentally prepare ourselves just to get this over with and tell her. She came up to his house and seemed to be fine in the moment so Josh says mom we are engaged and she looked at the ground and softly I heard a hmmmmm. She looked up at me and said I meant to tell you I saw a dog just like yours last week. She said nothing more. It only got worse as now there would be a wedding and now the other siblings were in this pick and choose mode. We wound up sneaking off to the Justice of the peace. I regret that choice as my family didn't deserve us making that choice so we didn't have to deal with the situation of avoiding her disapproval. Oh, it was my 2nd marriage just like Shanann and they all knew my ex-had an affair and that's why I divorced him but now they said I must done something to cause the affair. Funny, this was their sons SECOND marriage but he did nothing wrong it was all his ex-wife fault. They have a very high opinion of themselves and nobody is good enough for their son. Trust me the apple don't fall far from the tree. Your videos are very helpful and very insightful . I hope this could save another person from going through hell or even losing their lives to a person like CW. Shanann and her children should not have had to pay with their lives because CW found interest in someone else & NK you wanted Shanann life and you were jealous. Your email says it all to me. Really?! I would think your email back to CW would simply say "No thanks" I am happy where I am at without eluding your current status of being single or your with someone. The end of your email said you don't share his emailing you with anyone else. talking out of both sides of your mouth.
Love..love..love your podcasts. Appreciate your knowledge, insight & your delivery system! I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. I call our family (extended included) "Dysfunction Junction". BUT. I have to say the Watts family appear to put mine to shame. That's a first for me... The wedding invitations?????.. Bad girl! Not nice! The nuts??. Sorry..that's evil... As the family scapegoat (because I refused to follow) I spent so much time being "put out" of the family that as I moved into my early teens I began to refer to it as "periods of excommunication". But as a young child....it was downright terrifying. I have appreciated all your podcasts, particularly those on family dynamics. I am learning much that is personally very helpful. Much of it i have heard in therapy over the years but after listening to you I find myself going". Oh, so that's what they were talking about, or oh..so that's what they ment!" I just find you very easy to understand... So, gratitude! Looking forward to your next one!
How you describe Cindy Watts is just like describing my mother...my 2 sisters and one of my brothers have all the same traits, thankfully I have one brother who is like me, we don't have those traits. Being raised by a Narcissist mother was horrible most of my childhood I remember always trying to please her but never quite doing it. She was evil and twisted and abused me mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically. Into my adult years I began to realize I was better off not being around her, she always made me feel ill, not good enough, guilty. I did move away from her most of the time but moved back to look after her after my dad died. She continued to treat me with contempt until I spoke up against her, then she cut me off for 4 years not speaking to me, the only way she contacted me was in notes pushed through my door...we lived next door to each other at the time so you can imagine how hard that was. When she was dying I asked her why she treated me the way she did and her answer was "Because she could and knew that I would not answer her back". A lot of other weird things she did to me but I am not willing to put it on here. I am almost sixty years of age and it still affects me in how she treated me.
Thank you very much for your videos! From my personal experiences, and reading and youtube watching on narcissism, your assessment makes so much sense to me, I feel I agree with you completey, and really appreciate listening to your take on it! I feel I'm learning more and it's giving me more understanding on my family of origin and (sadly,) it helps me make sense of some lifethreatening experiences I encountered as a child from my parents, which helps me work on closure with the past. Sincerely thank you! Maybe someone has already asked this, I'm sorry I didnt have time to go through the comments, but could you recommend resources about narcissm to study, especially on how to spot any specific red-flags if a narcissist could be life-threatening?
Read the DSM III. DIAGNOSTIC & STATISTICAL MANUAL of MENTAL DISORDERS. This book is what qualified Doctors use to study Mental Disorders when they want to advance their careers and become qualified Psychiatrists. You can Google it and download it to pdf. Have a dictionary to hand coz there are a lot of words that the general population would not know the meaning of. Best of luck. 🍀
Yes, my step mother was a narcissist. I look exactly like my real mother who was a drug addict. My step mother ran her off and cut off all contact from her when I was 9. Growing up she always told me I was hateful. She was cold and aloof and when she was around it was in a rage. My feelings, opinions, voice was never valid. I moved out and she immediately started picking fights with me. Said I was going to turn out just like my mother. Always said I was fat and that everyone agreed. Blocked me on fb and kept me away from my siblings multiple times saying she would call the cops on me if I tried to contact them. She would do this when I would challenge her. She also never took responsibility for her actions, oh no, she was never wrong. She had multiple affairs and my “head in the sand” father always took her back. Aside from the last time when she found a younger dumber man to spin a web around. As an adult now I can empathize and see how she would turn out that way and why my father’s childhood attracted him to such an abusive woman (his mother.) However, I’ve since cut contact with both since she cannot change and still tries to keep me from my siblings. They will be grown soon enough and I’ll leave the door open. Though I can’t guarantee her brainwashing hasn’t set in completely. They despise me now. Even tho I was the one who got them up for school, walked them to and from, fed them, cleaned them did their laundry etc.. one day I hope they can see they were used as pawns for her bidding. But that’s for them to find on their own. Until then I’ll be waiting. ❤️ I’ll leave you with this gem from when I was 19. It was icy, i spun out on the interstate going 65mph. Luckily I wasn’t hit even tho there were cars around me. I slammed into the median hard with whiplash. I called my dad crying since it was my first car accident. Later she told me I was “emotionally spoiled” for calling my dad for help.
Hi, you are so right with everything you say, because my mother is a Convert Narcissistic person.. This is how it went in my family too !! I always love listening to your videos, because you say it as it is... I have been there myself in a family that my mother controlled.. We the rest of the family, dad, myself and my two sisters didn’t have a voice at all because our Convert Narcissistic Mother controlled everything we did.. It made me so mad because before my parents met, my lovely dad use to run his own business, and was very good and was a very independent person.. Who support his mother because his father died young, and my dad had to take over the family business.. My dad was so good at everything, then they got married..As time went on and dad retired, I could see that dad didn’t have a life anymore, she completely controlled poor dad.. More like a Adult and child relationship they had.. That’s what my mother was like... Now dad has passed and my mother is still going at 96 years old, she is trying to control me, but I just walk away when she starts.... Thank God I found out what she is and what she is doing......Thanks again from Australia 🇦🇺....
My mil is great. My husband kept refusing to get his hair cut and I got irritated and told him he was going for some homeless chic look. He thought it was funny told his mom who lives in England. I was worried it would upset her but She messaged me for a picture so that she could tease him as well. my mil is such a treasure in our lives. She makes my family stronger. So many are judgmental and cruel to their dil. I hope I’m more like her when it’s my turn.
@LiveAbuseFree- your channel is so insightful and like therapy for me. I see so many similarities in my family dynamic, and your educational videos just keep helping me. I’m so thankful to feel like I’m getting an understanding of what’s really happening, and what has happened in my life with a narcissist. You remind me that I always have a choice. Feeling positively guided in this way is so amazing and healing, I really can’t thank you enough. It feels like I’m getting stronger, and in a way, taking my life back. Thank you also for making me feel comfortable to share on your channel. My best to you!
I am really understanding the narcissistic personality for the first time! Your videos are so well explained and clear they are like a college class for me. The fact that I can see all these traits in Chris Watt's case makes your videos even more interesting. Keep posting!
Your insights in this video, specifically with regards to the wedding invitations, was so incredibly relevant to my own experience and meaningful to me, personally. Thank you so much.
Chris‘ mother is reminding me in some ways of my ex mother in law and I now understand much better what was going on in that family. I am very relieved now that I am not a part of that dynamic anymore and your videos are helping me to get over that situation. The mother of my ex boyfriend hated me for no real reason right from the start and spread this attitude throughout the family. Everything I did and said and was, but most importantly what I looked like was wrong, I wasn’t good enough for her son and she accused me of things her own son, her husband and she herself did. Looking back she was probably jealous and afraid to lose control over my ex boyfriend who was very obedient and hid things from his parents that they did not approve of. In the same way Shannan tried to stand up for Chris I tried to make my ex stand up to his parents and walk his own path in life but I now understand that he was probably not able to do so and never will be. He might lack the necessary emotional development which I felt throughout the relationship but couldn’t really put my finger on. I don’t think they were sociopaths or anything but their strange behaviour got to me and lowered my self esteem over the years. I still have nightmares and I can‘t imagine how someone must feel who is in a seriously abusive relationship with someone. It must be extremely traumatising.
I find it interesting that you noticed the connection of narcissistic child abuse and cult deprogramming. I was abused as a child by my narcissistic older sister and around the same time I was coming to terms with this I became really interested in podcast, etc about cults. I do think taking in that content helped me come to terms with my experiences.
I think his mother is very much a narcissist. Noone could ever love Chris like she did, in her eyes. His mother is disgusting the way she has slagged Shannan off when she's not here to defend herself because of her perfect son! I totally believe she treats the family very much like s cult and she didn't like having no power over Chris anymore so she made it difficult for them if they ever visited. I think even at the end his mum had control over him, just the fact he was having an affair, they knew and I believe very much encouraged it thinking they would get him away from Shanann and back into their control. I also think that's why she's so cross that he took the deal for prison because he wouldn't let her take control.
I'm so glad I found you and subscribed. I love your analogy of the narcissist family unit run by the mother leader being like a cult. That's a perfect comparison! I grew up in a family with a narcissist mother, and that's exactly what it was like. When I saw the interview of Chris's mother, I recognized what she was immediately. I feel so bad for Shanann, not only for the murder, but for the pain her husband and his family put her through.
This case disturbed me so deeply at the time it happened, right away he horrified me. I’m starting to wonder what I saw in him that scared me so profoundly. I saw my mother. What I’m hearing in this series is blowing my tiny mind. I don’t think my therapist has been this open with me, yet, about my mother, because she rightly assumed I wasn’t prepared to handle it. I’m just noticing my pretty severe reaction to all of this information about how a narcissist run family operates, and hearing so much of my own story of abuse, neglect, and abandonment in your words. It’s kind of freaking me out. So I’m double brain washed, because my mother raised us all in an actual cult, and that cult remains her entire world, foundation and family. The only one of her 5 children who gets ‘unconditional’ love, is my sister, who’s the only one remaining in the faith. Scary. We just can not escape the damage our mothers do. As a mother, this is very scary. It’s such a huge responsibility.
You have done a phenomenal job with these videos! Please keep making them. You add a new perspective that others have not. Thank you for the time you put into these.
Wondered when someone was gonna talk about the doll! Why would you send something like that to anyone..regardless who put it there...but no matter what men gotta quit killing there families...just walk away
Excellent description of a narcissistic family dynamic. My mother is allowed 15 minute phone call conversations with me and hasn't seen her grandchild in years due to the "cutoff" instigated by my father.... There has been no reason for this other than not allowing anyone in the family to abuse me.
